 I've been on these two paths, the shamanic path and the course of miracles, the shamanic path, I know that they're a bridge somehow, is all about, you know, going, running towards the roar, running towards the fear, and then, you know, like, understanding it in some way that it be like, like, well it goes, ah, ah, ah, then you're just witnessing, and then it becomes the friend, and it becomes the energy that's been so contracted that made it the enemy is released, and there's this something that's gained in this, it's like the dark night, you know, of King Arthur becoming his greatest ally and all that. So that, there's part of me that doesn't understand, there's something that I want to heal within the body and the spirit that is not coming through sometimes of the course of miracles that I, because I feel like, you know, that when they talk about matter, matter comes from mother, the mother of the goddess, and you know, to me the journey is like spirit descending into form, is devolution, it's this condensed energy, and then evolution is matter ascending to spirit, and there's something it's like the devaluing of form that I feel sometimes in the course of miracles, so I've been on this path of letting go of the world, you know, when I undid from that relationship, I really let go of my wanting, the world, I went through great great depression, now I'm in this place again of like, you know, being here, but there's something that I don't fully understand of the form, and again, too, one more thing is like the pain, too, of the body, you know, I see a lot of people going through illness or pains, and then everyone takes stuff pills or goes to things, and we shouldn't need to do that, because it's about breathing into, expanding into the pain, or expanding into everything with the breath, I'm just going, but I, there's, do you understand, there's some things that I want to, I want to know, like, I want to undo, and it's all tied in, you know, together. Yeah, it's beautiful, but thank you very good. Thank you for that. Beautiful way to launch into a lot of beautiful things that will be very helpful. Oh, really? You know, you're doing it for all of us. Well, it's beautiful as we have like a little sunlight coming in through like a sun window at the top there, and shining down on it again, and her white pants just, it's just like, you know, beaming through. We might think of that as like the light of love or lighter truth as like this bright, bright light that just shines. It just is. That's what being this is. And then, if you, if you look at that window up there, and instead of being, we'll say like a translucent glass window, we'll say that that window was filtered, more like stained glass, or maybe even more than just stained glass, but we say that there was a thick filter there that would actually not only take the white, the pure white light and would actually filter through in different colors, and actually, because we'll say there's some lenses on there, it will actually bend the light and send the light off in different directions. So instead of just coming through like on Megan and on her pants, where it's just coming straight down and straight through and just reflecting its pure white light, we're going to say that there's going to be some colors and some lenses going on that are going to bend that light. That's what this projected world's about. It's really, it's everything's light. Everything's energy. But in the density that you were talking about, where we seem to have separate colors, separate sizes, shapes, textures, all kinds of gradations, levels, cosmos of multiplicity, basically that it's all light. And the essence, if you could kind of peel back behind the cover, you would just see that it's all with this radiant light. So I will use the word distorted. In other words, when we talk about sexual energy, and when we talk about sexual drives, sexual cravings, sexual cycles, menstrual cycles, and so on and so forth, Jesus has a phrase in The Course in Miracles where he just says, that's just distorted miracle impulses. So it's great. Under the drive, under the sex drive, underneath all that energy and that craving that can well up and be very strong, there's a miracle impulse underneath that. And it's just like that light is shining through, but if it gets distorted through the filter, it comes out on the surface of consciousness, like I was talking about, way up on the surface as a distorted miracle impulse. And that impulse is because the lens that I'm talking about, that lens of thick filters, of bending light, of making multiple colors out of that, which is pure white light, because there's a distortion going on, that distortion always involves one thing, and that is lack. We wouldn't even know how to talk about cravings if we weren't talking about lack. It doesn't mean just sexual cravings, but we could be, I crave welcome. Thank you for joining us. We're talking about the lack of warmth or the lack of water. We could talk about thirst, sexual cravings, hunger, psychological cravings. We're talking about cravings for just basically stimulation in many, many ways and shapes and forms. So that lens that the white light seems to be moving through is the lens of lack, which is called the lens of lack. And what comes when light goes through the lens of lack is distorted miracle impulses. So I remember I've been in South America talking and they're like, my sex drive is really just a distorted miracle impulse. I say, yeah, that's all it is. Okay, let's get clear on this. I want to be free of the distortions. Now, what would be like if that lens was gone, that lens of lack was completely gone and it was just the pure light coming in, that would be an undistorted miracle impulse. And what's some examples of that? Well, Jesus, Buddha, Krishna, we can give some pretty many good examples of this undistorted miracle impulse. It's the desire or the attunement, the atonement of this sense of being truly helpful. No matter what the circumstance was, no matter what the situation was, to be truly helpful, to be able to always say or do or be the most perfect answer to a call for help, no matter what the circumstance was, not just like in a hospital sewing up a wound or doing massage to take away the pain in a particular part of the body, but we're talking about the answer that could equally be applied to any circumstance in the cosmos in perfect effectiveness. Wow, talk about healing. That's really powerful healing. And so, when I got to start work with the Course, I started to say, OK, let's get down to the core of it. If there's something distorted going on here, then help me shine light on that distortion so I can see it for what it is and not be attracted to it anymore. So Jesus has sections in the Course, one of them is called Attraction to Guilt, one of them is called Attraction to Pain, and one of them is called Attraction to Death. And they're one, two, three in a row. And basically, he's saying that while you believe in the ego, there will be things that is part of the ego system that the ego makes up that are too it, very attractive. It's basically all the Attraction to Guilt and Pain and Death, although the ego dresses it up to make it seem like it's something else, like fool's gold, where you think you're getting the gold nugget and you go, this isn't gold at all. You left holding the bag. That's what this world was designed to do. Lots of substitutions, lots of things that glimmer and shine, that even feel good. Pleasure feels good. And it's part of the ego system to keep the mind bound in duality. I tell people, if everything that involved guilt was extremely painful, would it be hard to drop it? You would drop it like a hot potato. If you had a hot stove and you kept burning, burning your hands, there's going to come a time where you're not going to touch the stove anymore. Some of this take a while. We keep going back. But actually, there's going to come a point where you're going to drop it. You're just not going to do it. But the ego with its duality is pain and pleasure are both things that the ego manufactured. There aren't pains and pleasures in heaven, in Nirvana. It's just not there. It's just oneness. It's bliss. Bliss, bliss, bliss, bliss, bliss. There's just no pains and pleasures there. But you see how the ego uses them both because it's kind of like, if you go to it sometime and it's pleasurable and sometime that it's painful, you're just going to keep coming back hoping that you get the pleasure. The ego never lets into awareness that they're actually both the same. They don't seem the same in this world. They seem extremely different. Like we've got a branch of philosophy called hedonism, which is basically maximized the pleasure. That's the whole philosophy of life. And then you can throw in minimize the pain. So you could say that for most people, that's like a predominant philosophy, maximize the pleasure, minimize the pain. The ego never lets you know that they're the same. Because if you would start to get on to that trick, then there would be joy to follow. Because you're going to tap into the motherload of joy that's actually that bright light that's shining there that's beyond the distortions of the pain and pleasure. So the spirit knows that the mind believes in these egoic tricks and the spirit will gently try to... It's almost like instead of just yanking the whole filter out, it's basically the spirit has to work with the mind and its attachments and its preferences and its investments. And it has to be a path of de-investing. It has to be a path of loosening from attachments. It's not like the tablecloth just gets yanked off. There are those like Eckert and there are those like Byron, Katie and so on and so forth that seem to go through spontaneous or very rapid awakenings. But those are quite rare as far as the ego can just say, well, it's great for them. Great, spontaneous awakening. I'm really happy to hear about that. But in terms of more what we could call realistic. With each time, with interactions. And that's good. And then it's just very similar to what we were just talking about with Noel. Noel's been receiving all... The first was like all this art which you can see and then now all these songs, these profound songs are coming through and that's part of like making way for the spirit's purpose. In other words, okay, if I've devoted my life to pleasure and pain, what's the alternative? Purpose. Like a purpose driven life. An inspirational, miraculous life is the alternative to the old pleasure pain philosophy. So there's all these, we could say, in the miracle. The miracle just wants to radiate an extent. It just wants to bring a total blessing and gift. That's all that it's about.