 to the red man group patriarchs edition, episode 14 with, I'm going to dive right into this. We're not going to go around the panel and talk about what we've been up to. We're not going to talk about getting tickets to 21 convention coming up this October. You should be there link below. We're not going to talk about all of those things. We're going to dive right into how we can protect ourselves and how we can protect our families. As patriarchs, we are the shield and the spear. We must defend our clan and we must be able to go out and attack. And a lot of men are finding themselves in a position where their number is called and they don't know what to do. They've never had someone actually tell them, hey, when violence comes your way, this is what you do. Because we're living in an age where you have to go out of your way to be uncomfortable. You know, we have climate-controlled houses, climate-controlled cars, climate-controlled offices. Everything is nice and neat and packaged clean. But when shit hits the fucking fan, what are you going to do? You need to be able to answer. So I brought this panel together because they embody exactly what's needed. We've got two gentlemen who are subject matter experts when it comes to defense and offense of the self as well as the unit, you know, your clan, your family, your group, whatever it may be. And you've got two fathers who are just, you know, we're not going to go out and play Navy SEAL. We're not going to go out and play green beret, contractor, you know, we're not Blackwater, we're dads, you know, but we can still train ourselves and prepare ourselves to take care of our family if and when our number is called. So with that, let's get right to it. Rich, welcome to the panel. Let's let these men know where you're coming from, who you are, you know, you lost the beard so they have no idea. So what's up, Rich, welcome. I have no beard, so now I'm undercover. It's like the opposite. So, hey guys, Rich Graham, Veteran Navy SEAL and a tactical advisor for some SWAT teams and do a lot of corporate active shooter response training. Excellent. And Swift, while many on the Twitter sphere understand who you are, you know, for those tuning in or those new to the show, who is Mr. Swift? Swift, Veteran Law Enforcement 18 years, part of that nine years paramedic. In the meantime, SWAT team commander, riot team commander, also private military contractor for a three-letter group, a couple years, other than that, consulting, active shooter scenarios for corporate houses of worship churches and also some other government agencies around here who are, want to be as deep and as gray as man as possible around the Denver metro area. Other than that, a dad also, firearms instructor. I teach couples. I also started last year, I didn't mention it in Orlando or to you guys, but I also started a kid's zone active shooter home invasion course. I already got 50, 53 so far graduates of that. And mind you, those are 13 down to seven. Very cool. You're welcome. That's awesome. So it should be clear at this point, why those two are on the panel. Now, why did they bring on Jeff? Jeff, many know you. You're a father of nine, the patriarch of all patriarchs. I mean, you're beating Tanner Guzzi. So props on that. But as soon as we had a discussion recently inside the fraternity, it kind of started with me shooting my firearm but not carrying concealed. And that led to the idea of this episode, which is being able to defend yourself, defend your family or educate. So give a little background on where you're coming from and then share your past month with us. All right. Well, like you said, I'm a dad. I've got nine kids. Thank God there's only one girl out of the nine. You know, as a husband, a dad and a man in general, I believe that there's only three things that you should be doing for your family on a constant basis. It's providing and presiding and lastly protecting. And so it's my obligation. It's my duty to protect my family with everything I can. And this past month has been a bit of a nightmare because once your kids get grown and they move out and they start getting jobs and apartments and go into college, you can't protect them anymore because you're not with them. And a month ago, there was a mass shooting in El Paso. My 19 year old lives right next door to that Walmart. And then this past Saturday, the shooting in Odessa, Texas right outside of my oldest son's college. So in the past month, I've had two sons present within the general area of the line of fire in active shooter situations. And I'll tell you, there's no worse feeling than when you're a dad and you feel completely helpless and you can't get them to pick up the phone. We often have a degree of separation from violence. You know, there's often, oh, that doesn't happen to my town. That doesn't happen to my family. You know, that wouldn't happen to me until it does. And that's why I want this show to kick off, you know, with, let's have that discussion. How can you make sure that if and when it does happen to you, you're prepared? You know, Jeff, in a million years, I would never have thought somebody that I knew on Twitter would be talking to me about, hey, my kid is at the spot. Oh, that thing you see in the news? Yeah, my son is there. Cause you're like, holy shit, things get a little bit more real when you see people along the camera. You're like, look, I might have just seen your kid running by or running away. That's fucking terrifying. You know, as a father, that's, you're not there, you can't grab them and shield them. So now you look back on, did I teach them? You know, did I, did I arm them at least with the knowledge to, hey, do what you need to do to get away from that scenario? Or, you know, if it comes to blows, be able to protect yourself. Now with that, I'm going to drop an image on the screen and I want people to see because they often think it's not going to happen to me. You know, that's the famous words. I'm good. It's not going to be watched. You know, my family's safe, everything's good. If you look at this map, these are all of the mass shootings, school shootings only. These are school shootings in the United States. If you look at the big red circles, that's the higher death toll. Fun fact, this is as of April 20th. So this is not up to date. There are more red dots, big red circles like that on this map if you were to be current. This is no joke. This is no what-up scenario. This is happening. This is the age we live in. Now with that said, I'll toss this one to Swift. Why do you think this is occurring at a greater frequency? Short answer. Sure. Okay. Mental health issues. And the long answer? The long answer is it's a very compounded issue, mental health issues, also with the degeneracy of our society and culture, the lack of God being in our lives, the lack of men teaching what real masculinity, God-given masculinity in their families is, the true absence of family. Then you also have the overreaching stint of government. And I'm not saying that government's bad, but I'm also saying when you put one in, someone's got to come out. Well, when the family comes out, government's going to step in. So you're going to get all kinds of stuff. And then on top of that, you're going to have just the true hatred. I mean, evil, you know, biblical terms, just pure evil, but just hatred of, and the, sorry, I'm starting to go way too fast in my mind head. No, it's good, man. People need to hear the conversation. They need to think about these next layer of things. Before we talk about, you know, here's your tactical, you know, approaches. Let's go down like why this is happening, then what to do, and then what you can prepare for. The devalue of human life itself. Holy fuck. I mean, which also, which, I mean, I have a good friend, Jeremy Fox, him and I get into the conversation quite a bit. When you devalue human life, not just this killing, not just this, I mean, it's true, simple as killing. I mean, there's killing and then there's sense of killing, this is a simple fucking killing. When you devalue human life, that also goes hand in hand with pornography. When you devalue people, then you are allowed to do more things, evil things to other people. That's my long answer. Of course, I can go all night long on that stuff. Well, I only have an hour and a half. I know, I know, I know. So yeah, theologically and as human and as dad too, valuing human life also does not have to be a faith or religion thing. I mean, crap, we're all here, you know, play nice except when you don't have to. Yeah, and you know, Swift, just hearing your answer on that, you know, obviously this is something that affects everyone in America and hell, all over the world right now with school shootings and me having so many kids in school, it's something that I've looked into and I've reached out to various people with opinions on the matter and your bullet points that you brought up are really interesting. You had mentioned the lack of men teaching their boys what true and real masculinity is and your other bullet point was an overreach of government. You know, those two, while they may sound different, there is another scenario that I've brought to mind where they are both symptoms of the disease. If you think about how if you get a bunch of men together and we settle our disputes like men, whether it's a couple of knocks behind the car or whatever it is, it's settled. But right now we have this an embargo on violence that's been put on us by the government. So you have all these people who haven't been listened to, they've been ignored and they have no outlet, no one to challenge for disrespecting them. And so it builds up and it builds up and it builds up and because they haven't been taught by a man how to deal with those things and how to channel that aggression and masculinity, they snap and they burst. Because think about it, if you and I had beef and I disrespected you or insulted your honor or whatever you want to call it, you know, you can hit me but then you go to jail. So you're basically locked in impotence because of course the overreach of the government itself, not I want chaos or anarchy, but you cannot aggressively defend yourself without fear of reprisal by the government. And even worse so if you didn't have a father or a positive male role model to teach you how to deal with that aggression and channel it into something positive, all that just builds resentment and it builds up and it builds up and it builds up. You've got no outlet until one day you're sitting there and you're, you know, greasing up your pistol, getting ready to go out on a spree because you're just ready to kill every motherfucker that even looks like the guy that disrespected you. And so I think a lot of your bullet points really do compound and kind of intertwine with each other. They do, it's very, it gets very lengthy pretty quick with the professionals, the psychotherapists, those people. You would need a fucking Venn diagram to map it all out. Now, Rich, you deal, so we were recently talking about how you deal with executives and that's why you had to kind of clean up and look like a gentleman. When you're dealing with, you know, the business types or, and then we shot one-on-one, you know, you gave me a lot of lessons to take home, which is awesome, I've been using them. Do you have people asking you, look, why do you think this is happening? Why do you think schools are being shot? Why do you think businesses are being shot up? You know, do you have a blanket answer or is it one of those, like you have your personal opinion and you're just, you kind of keep it and save it for those really ready to hear it or is it just, you know, oh, because people are crazy. No, people ask me that all the time and everyone wants the, everyone hopes it's an easy answer, but, you know, just like you were speaking about, it's a very complex answer. And I agree, I think the problem of the heart really and to not repeat things that are already stated because I agree with those. I think there's also a breakdown in people's development of communication, right? So communicating through tech and all this stuff online, we never, I think the generations that are young right now never actually got to develop like the right communication skills and how to handle adversity and things like that. And I know just from one simple example, when I was training some security teams and stuff like that and all they wanted to do was essentially shoot. And I'm like, dude, you guys are security teams. All we ever teach you how to do is shoot and we don't teach you any handing. All you have is, sir, could you please do whatever it is I'm asking. And if you don't do that result, the only thing they have to go to is maximum violence by drawing their firearm. They have no middle ground, right? And I feel like a lot of these children because they've never developed the proper communication skills, they have no middle ground on how to handle situations in person, right? So they go from level zero to 10 throwing temper tantrums when they're children and those temper tantrums as adults show up in them throwing a temper tantrum and shooting everybody. You know what I mean? And I think that's one of the aspects of this in addition to the other thing we're already stated. Yeah, they've got no de-escalation skills. Yeah. Now it's funny you're talking about the starting in childhood and the temper tantrums. I'm not gonna go out there and say violent video games cause shooters. That's not gonna be what I'm about to say but electronics and I think this new thing I've kind of come across and I've been kind of chewing on mentally is electronic courage. You have men online who will say things to you that they would never say to your face but behind that username, they'll say this, they'll say that. And part of me wonders if you're brought up on that if you're raised in an environment where you can say whatever you want without any retaliation or consequences does it start to get inside the head and start to develop this mindset of I am a man who can say this to somebody. I can walk up to a well-trained Navy SEAL or well-trained SWAT law enforcement officer and just say whatever I want and nothing can happen. Are they building this persona that is fucking infinite? It's just like untouchable. We're in a different age. These kids are exposed to technology at like five. My kids are not. A lot of parents, they do have strict regulation on screen time and whatnot, but some kids are plugged in a screen and they've got that username and they'll just say and do whatever they want. And I'm wondering if that plays into this. Well, Hunter, you know, it kind of goes into what I was saying. You know, I think Robert E. Howard had said something along the line. If you guys don't know who that is, he authored the Conan the Barbarian series. One of his famous quotes was that savages are more polite by nature because they actually run the risk of having their head split open and acts. Yep. Like I was just telling Swift before, we live in a society where any violence or disputes to be settled between individuals is completely off, you know, it's completely off the table. You can't do any of that. So people have this courage that they can, you know, throw stones or crap on your plate and there's no reprisal. And, you know, you can only kick a dog so many times before he's gonna bite you. And so I think, what do you call them? The keyboard warriors. They're really tough behind the screen because they live in a world where retributive violence is not a factor. You know, you can't smack somebody in the mouth without going to jail if they were messing with your wife or whatever. Says where? Well, without going to jail unless you're like you, who knows every cop in every. I don't pull those strings. I know you don't. I'm only kidding. So I'm tracking the chat while you guys are talking and I'm gonna throw one up there. Anthony says, do you think these symptoms are deliberately happening from taking the fathers out of the home? Yeah, I do. I mean, I grew up without a dad. My dad died before I even started school. And the first half of my life was, you know, getting the crap beat out of me by a stepdad who didn't even want kids. And so, you know, they say stepdads kill their kids faster than the real dads do when it comes to lack of parenting. And I didn't even learn what a real man was until I was adopted at age 12, you know, by somebody who actually wanted a freaking kid. And I can't even imagine how it was for, you know, someone who didn't have a father at all and the only type of role model they get is someone they see on a screen or behind a media persona or someone they saw in a movie or even worse, a fucking video game. Or, you know, you got, like you said, kids raising themselves on the fucking screens, you know, someone who fucking identifies their dad as Max Payne or Duke Nukem or whoever the fuck, you know, if that's the only thing they have as, you know, a scale to measure what a man is by, then they're fucked. So I got a lot of fucking kickback when somebody shared something that said of the top 26 mass shooters, they all came from fatherless homes. And what I said on Twitter was, well, isn't that another way of saying they came from single mother homes? And like the internet lost their minds, but I think that does speak to, you know, the older man passing on to the younger man. And this kind of goes to what Ritt said about, instead of going to Max Violence, you know, you kind of learn to communicate and work your way up to things, is it's never taught how to channel. You know, and I think if there's a takeaway from this is teaching your kids how to channel their frustrations and their anger, it's okay to be mad. You know, I've got two puppies, two eight month old lab rotting mixes and they beat the shit out of each other. But what they're doing is learning how do you go all the way up to pain without going beyond pain? Like that's how you learn, like how hard does a punch hurt to where you're fooling around punch to where you're hurting somebody punch. You know, and some people don't teach that. So they go full swing, knock somebody out, but I was just playing around. They never learned to pull back because they never played, they never wrestled, they never had that outlet. I think Jeremy Fox and Adam Lane Smith had both mentioned something about that during a child's formative years between the ages of zero and four, rough play with a father is so imperative to their development on how to deal with conflict resolution. Cause it happens at such a stage where it's, it's almost a subliminal lesson that they get taught is kind of coded into how they think just because of, just because of that play. And I think like, just like those dogs wrestling around on the floor, you know, a kid wrestling around on the floor with his dad, he learns what's too far and what's not. And then how to deescalate, especially if, you know, dad pisses the kid off. He sees how dad talks and, you know, how dad talks him down from that point. Yeah. And there's value in losing. Yes. You don't, you don't learn when you win, typically. You know what I mean? You learn the hard lessons when you lose. So one of the things that we're doing but the sports and all this stuff by making sports easier and not letting, you know, it's okay if you lose, right? And not having the, you know, if we have that, like everyone's a winner mentality, then we lose this opportunity where we allow our children and young men to learn things the hard way, right? Because you tell people things and they're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm going to do it my way, but they have to go to, you know, crash and fall and then reflect on that and go, man, what happened here and how do I, how do I go from this? So even for the horse play, right? But even growing up in school, I mean, in our generations, how many times did you get in a fist fight in school and you beat the crap out of each other? Like, I got a lot of fist fights, you know what I mean? But we didn't shoot each other, you know what I mean? And you win some and you lose some and you brush yourself off and there's things that you learned from that and you build your character off of that and there's so many life lessons to be gained if you're coached properly on, you know, no one wants to lose, right? We all want to win, but at the same time, if you, the loss is not an actual loss if you can gain knowledge from it and perspective and guidance and then move forward and then win later on based on those, you know, evaluations. So I think there's a lot of people missing that in this that everyone's winner culture. So I want to spend a few more minutes on the kind of the cause of how we got there, what's making this happen. I know a lot of the guys in the chat and a lot of people that are tuning in are going to want to talk about what they can do, how they can train, steps they can take, things of that nature, because that's the fun part, that's the sizzle, right? But you need the steak first. You need to understand why these things are happening and how as a parent, you can prevent the next one from happening. Or, you know, if you're a single mother listening to this and we're talking about these outlets, you need to get your kid into somewhere where he can lose, where he can be confrontational. You know, let's say you're a single mother of two boys, you know, and you're always telling them, don't wrestle, don't fight, don't touch each other, don't go outside either, sit in front of a screen. Nah, let them throw down, let them go outside, let them climb and fall and get hurt. You know, actually, so literally, as I'm saying this, one of the moms in the chat just said, how does a single mom that coaches to be a good role model for their sons? And I think that is an excellent question to pitch here. So Rich, you had the last one, Swift, you know, single moms, you work with couples, you've worked with women, you know, I've heard a few of your stories on just training them through home invasion or, you know, their area that they're gonna be possibly met at, you know, but let's look at the home. How can these mothers, a mother can't be a father, so she's gotta find someone to fill that masculine role model? Where can they go or how do they vet a good coach? Oh, it's hard, but it's also so easy. You know, what male was in that woman's life? Was it her dad's? He's still alive, you know? Does she have any brothers? You know, does she have any cousins that are close by? Other than that, honestly, you know, used to be the Boy Scouts, but now I'm leery there to even say that one anymore. You know, find the extracurricular activities that the kid has or your sons have already an interest in as well. Trust me, there's men around. They don't advertise, but they watch, they look. Hunters education courses in the state, Colorado is a pretty good one. They also will pair kids up with male mentors for the shooting, for the tracking, for that type of thing. And on top of that, they will get the mentoring for life. But for honestly, I would tell single mom, you know, give them a rule, let them fight, give them a rule, you know, no kicking in the nuts, you know, no eye gouging. Seriously, you know, you break your bone, hey, we got insurance. You know, it's gonna fucking, your brother's gonna be the first one to sign the cast. Let them fight, you know, don't reward them too much afterwards, you know, let you kick your brother's ass. But you know, this is where you fight at home is where you fight together or against each other. And then outside of the home, you guys are the team against the world if that comes to that. Yeah, that's exactly what we do here. I've got living in the house, sharing a room of 16 year old and a 17 year old. And if they start going at it, my wife wants to go in there and break them. No, no, as long as the bleeding's not arterial, they're good. They'll clean up and fix whatever they break, you know. No, I... Static hierarchy. You know, they're gonna have a pecking order of a who's in charge. And so they figure that out through violence and rough play and seeing who's gonna be the top dog. Right. I'll give you a biased answer. If you're in Rhode Island, just come to my baseball team, you'll find the best coaches. But outside of that. Yeah, but I heard he's really short. Find someone you motherfucking... All right. If you, to me, the way I look at it and the success I've seen young men that I've dealt with and I've dealt with single moms as well and they love our team because we hold their boys to a standard. Find a coach that holds a standard. You will not talk when I'm talking. If I tell you to do this, you will do this. If we're running this drill, you run this drill. You don't walk in the field. Let them have their rules, but also let them be boys. You know what? If they're wrestling on the side, that's fine. As long as it's not important time to pay attention. Let them throw down. We were running a drill today and two of the kids were kicking each other's ass. Not with bats, but with gloves. But I mean, you're not a part of this drill. I don't need you. As soon as I say, hey, come here, they snap out of it. You want a coach that can do that with them because that teaches them to restrain and also release. Now to move forward a little bit, I asked the chat, you know, if they have any questions for you guys to ask away. And one of those, and I'm assuming that you both do this in your line of work, Rich and Swift, is you look at what's going on and what caused those things to happen. Maybe you do research on the kid or the man who shot the place up and like, all right, where did it come from? What drove into this? Maybe you look at what were the weak points of the school, the weak points, you know, of the building, et cetera. So, Rich, one of the questions that was asked is, do you believe there's a correlation between corporal punishment and increased drug use and shootings? You know, do you think that these boys releasing this, if there's a father who is abusive at home or a mother mentally, physically, do you think that's also a contributor to these kids that are releasing all that? Because at home, they're basically getting the shit kicked out of them? Yeah, I think there's probably a definite correlation there, but just as you were speaking about the statistics of most of these boys coming from fatherless homes, there's also another statistic out there that shows almost every single one of these active shooter attacks, these people are on some kind of antidepressant drugs. So, when you mix the lack of socialization with a fatherless home, right, and the current status of how we raise men to not be men and then you add in the opioid addictions and antidepressants, it's just, you have a melting pot for destruction. You take the spiritual aspect out of it or you take the heart out of the situation and like you were talking about desensitizing people to where, you know, there's no value in life anymore. It's, you have a, you know, you just have like a boiling point. Swift, thoughts on corporal punishment and correlation with these mass shooters and max violence? It depends on where the corporal punishment is delivered from. So is it from a mom? Or is it from a grandpa, uncle, stepdad type of thing? You know, that, no, my answer is no on corporal punishment being a contributing factor to them breaking because it's corporal punishment and the home does carry over into the public life. But again, it would be, are they embarrassed by that, that father figure or lack of their of to want to blow up on society or people who might trigger them from that pain? So my answer is no. Yeah, like you, the, to have rules and to have, you know, boundaries and guidelines and stuff like that, to say that the rules are why someone throws a temper tantrum isn't, the kids don't throw a temper tantrum because there's rules, right? It's the lack of enforcement of the rules consistently and those other factors make it so that when you try to put rules in place, now all of a sudden it's a big deal. And we see this a lot. It's very simple when you, when we're doing the canine training, right? Because it's like- That's no fucking joke, man. I've been in the fat suit. Yeah, yeah. But when you're doing the canine training, everything is pattern driven. You can't let the dog do it all, whatever it wants, five times in a row and then ask the dog to be disciplined and then be surprised when the dog's not disciplined and want to do a hard correction or something like that, a dog. And it's like, dude, you've, the pattern and the expectation that you've set forth is that this dog can do whatever it wants. And then if you think that when you go, hey, now I need you to be serious, that the dog's gonna be serious and take you serious, the dog's like, dude, why is this any different than the other five times when you let me do whatever I want? So because you set no boundaries, right? And no expectation, then you shouldn't be surprised when the dog then becomes disobedient. So if we set no boundaries and we set no expectations and don't hold people accountable consistently, right? Then when you go to the corporal punishment or something like that or the fact of corporal punishment being the problem, you know what I mean? It's not like, it's one of those things where you need to have the consistency first, before you can ask for that expectation. That was perfect. I think that goes for child brewering like 101. Yeah, sometimes enforce a rule. Yeah, I would definitely agree with that. I mean, if you look at our parents' generation, they came from a generation where every single one of them got their ass beat. Every single one of them, they all got their ass beat. How many of them have been mass shooters? But you look at this new generation. Very few. Yeah, very few. You look at this new generation where when you've got the factor of coming from single mother homes or fatherless homes because there's no positive male influence because all the majority of the shooters have been male, I think minus one in San Bernardino, but that was a terror attack. You combine that with an inconsistent level of discipline because look, you're in the canine thing. I've got a big, huge monster dog outside right now and he's happier when he is confined to a set of rules. Yep. If he's not disciplined or doing with what I tell him, then he just gets destructive because he's got no boundaries, no walls, no set of paths that he's allowed to take without any type of curiosity as to what might happen. He knows what's gonna happen if he sits when I sit, when I tell him. He knows what's gonna happen if I tell him to stop or lay down or he knows the exact path that's gonna take. But if he had no boundaries, he's just gonna be digging up my damn yard all day and chewing through everything. Yep. And it's really no different with a kid or a man or anybody. So, but what happens is let that dog do that and you allow the dog to tear up the yard because you set no boundaries and then what happens is you walk out and now you're pissed off that the dog tore up the yard so you yell at the dog and the dog's like, I've been out here digging up the yard and you didn't care and now all of a sudden you care. Exactly. There's no consistency. Fusion in the dog and it's very similar patterns to children. You know what I mean? So by not setting those boundaries, we set the children or we set the dog up for failure because we are lack of boundaries. I think there's even a biblical proverb about that. You spared the child the rod and ruined the child or something like that. Right? Yes. Spare the rod. Yeah, something like that. I'm not good at quoting stuff, but like there's something in there like that, right? He doesn't even hear a TV song. Yeah, or Proverbs or you got me, right? It is Proverbs. The fact of the matter is by not setting those boundaries and expectations we're essentially setting them up for failure because you know we're gonna have to come back and correct it or you know that we're gonna have to come back and we're gonna be pissed off about it, right? But they don't know any better and they're gonna take advantage of any situation because it's a dog or it's a child and they're opportunists and they're gonna push their boundaries and see what they can do and get away with that's part of their growing process, right? And curiosity. So by not setting those boundaries we're essentially setting them up to then have to come in and hammer them. And if we don't come in and hammer them then we open up the flood gate for them to really just go off the deep end and do whatever they want to either way by lack of boundaries and expectations we're setting them up for failure. Yeah, it's the analogy of do you wanna fix the pipe when it's leaking or when your fucking basement's flooded? So as you guys are talking something kind of just popped in my head do you remember when, or not remember but do you know that nobody could run a five minute mile? It was not humanly possible. Doctors said it couldn't be done wasn't done forever and then one person did it and then the next year five did it. I think that this is a part of that. I think this follows that same thing. You're talking about your parents not shooting up the word of school mass shootings and shit like that that's because nobody had done it. And then Columbine happened and I think that opened up the floodgates and now like, oh, that is an option. You mean I can take out all my worldly frustrations and I can go shoot up the school and all those kids that tease me or I can make a name for myself because I'm a fucking loser here but I can make myself, I can get on the news. I can make my mark in history by being the guy who stuck into the man and they shugged up society's ass. You know, I think that's a part of this. You know, and what kind of also brought this I'll throw it on the screen. Bernie May says, is it depression or antidepressants? And it's kind of like three things. You know, you've got the depression like you're feeling down because maybe you're teased. Maybe every day you're the kid who's poor from a single mom, your dad rolled out. Maybe he left a bad mark on the town. So everybody teases you because of where you come from. And then you go home and your mom's never around or maybe she's an alcoholic or always working. So you have nothing there. And then you're just sitting there and all of a sudden you're prescribed medicine. You know, maybe that's what like the brain starts getting wired and you start going nuts and all of a sudden you're just releasing because it's that fucking bad. You hate yourself that fucking much. You feel that much pain that you just want to inflict it on the world. And as much like Jeff fucking it hurts my heart to think of what you had to go through with your kid being a part of this. And then the shooter, you know, think about what the fuck kind of mindset you have to be in to be that, to do something like that, to go to a school, to go to Sandy Hook, these small children aren't even up to my waist. They're getting shot. Are you fucking kidding me? Like what demonic self, like something had to have been broken there. And somewhere I feel like we fucking failed not me but not child, the one who commenced that evil. No, no, no, you had it right. We as a society failed these people to put them in an environment or create an environment that compelled them or at least fostered this type of downfall. But that's what I'm saying. We have no systems in place in school for kids who don't have dads. There is no like male guidance counselor of some sort that can check and be like, hey, little Timmy, you know, we're gonna make sure that you're in some sports or if not, you can talk to me. You should hit the fan. You know, don't talk to your mom about girls. You know, whatever their fucking system is. There's something there for that kid. We don't have that. Hey, little Timmy, you shouldn't be popping all these fucking meds. You're not ADHD, you're not depressed. You're just fucking sad because you're poor. Whatever your situation is. Hey, little Timmy, you know, you've got some fucking friends here. Hey, little Timmy, here's how you stand up for yourself. Hey, little Timmy, you want some friends? Let's go put you in some sports. Little Timmy's getting fucked because nobody's putting their hand off to help this young man, which is another part of why I want this show to happen so we can start recognizing who those little fucking Timmy's are. I'm not a baseball team because that's my sphere of control. That's how I'm trying to do this. Through the family outfit, through this red man group patriarchs, that's how I'm trying to do this. And if you're watching this, if you're not a part of the solution that's helping little Timmy, get the fuck out of the way because you're part of the problem. Yep. You know, and while the entire time, you know, I was out of contact with my son because he was forced to shelter in place on lockdown without his phone near him. So he couldn't let me and his mom know that he was okay. And then I got the news that the shooter was shot and killed. Yeah, my first reaction is good. I hope the bastard's burning in hell right now. But at the same time, I kept wondering what the hell drove him to do it. And typical, he was pissed off at the world. What was really pissy off is when you look and you see that he had been calling the police and the FBI for fucking months, rambling and losing his fucking mind and no one said or did any fucking thing. But he had just lost his fucking job, got fired from the oil field, that's all there is out there. And he got fired from the oil field, last fucking resort. And, you know, Nietzsche said the worst thing society can do to a man is ignore him. And this guy had nobody to fucking vent to. This guy had nobody to fucking channel anything through. He'd just been shit on by a system that was meant and built the shit on him. And granted, I still hope he's burning in hell for the innocent lives he took, but we created him. All right, I'm gonna go to rant. So we're gonna shift gears a little bit and this is where we get to the sizzle. Real quick, real quick, real quick. I remembered, so the church I attend has implemented something is what you're talking about already called, it's called fathers in the field. And it's not just here in Colorado, it's pretty much nationwide. And again, it's they take kids, boys, girls, and they pair them with male mentors to go hiking, fishing, hunting, camping. They're vetted, they're background checked, they're screened by the church that they are associated with. So it's not just, you know, all right, here you go, you know, go camping. Even though his van has, you know, marker sharpies as free candy, you know, you're okay. No, no, they're vetted, they're vetted fathers, vetted single adults, you know, maybe they've chose to be, you know, the sale of it, but they're still willing to be a mentor for these kids. So again, as fathers in the field for single moms, they want that as well on top of sports as well. Again, I'm big into sports, you know, get your kid in the little, the kiddie crop, that's just awesome. You know, because I'm not a big baseball fan, you know, I think that's kind of stupid. We all can't be right. I know, so when you're gonna step up, be right. Nobody. No, no, no, that's good. That's a good resource. And I would like to find a list. You know, maybe I'll throw it on the family of a blog or maybe next red man group. We can toss something out there. But I'd like to get that list of options, not just for single moms, but for, you know, other men who are looking to connect with men, looking to do good, you know, so we'll collectively get that and we'll toss it out somewhere. So stay tuned for that. Now I'm gonna try to screen share and show a video and it's gonna lead us into becoming situationally aware as a man, how to train your family to become situationally aware to keep themselves safe outside of your sphere of control and then some training that families can do. And the two of you literally do this. Like this is, you train people and you help people like help themselves. So I'm really looking forward to, and the men, you know, tuned in are looking forward to this aspect of it, but I had to delay them 46 minutes. So I'm about to release you guys and like, look, this is what you need to do. But before that, let's look at this video because it went a little viral and a lot of people probably know what it's gonna be already, but here we go, hopefully it plays. All right, and play. Here we go. All right, here we go. So this is that lady just slashed that kid. The mom's like, what the fuck? She comes back to duty and the dad, with the daughter near the lady, she slashes her. The dad right now recognizes she's bleeding. He's like, what the fuck? Goes together, backs up. And then this fucking fat privilege lady just waddles across the street, like nothing fucking happened. So watching that right here, that's how the family is based out. And I- Watch the parents, watch the parents. As they watch it, as the viewers watch it, watch the parents. Where are they looking? That's what I'm gonna bring back right now. Kind of let you guys do your analysis of it and hopefully it loads up. Well, I think a good question is, why is there a random fat bitch cutting kids? No, no, no. That's different. That's gonna bring us back down the original path of why this is happening. All right, there we go. That's what I wanted you guys to see. So Swift, do you wanna take the first crack at it? Sure, the parents are in their bubble. Which is, it's good, but it's also bad. I mean, they're in public. They might, I'm not even sure where it happened, but the parents are in the bubble because the kids are in physical contact with the kids. So when you do that, I don't have to look at my kids because I'm touching them. So there's one degree of connection. But the parents are only looking in their personal bubble, if you wanna do that analogy. Your three foot zone that you only let, your intimate zone or whoever, whatever training you're talking about. But the parents are only looking in their bubble. They're only looking about the people behind them. They're only looking, you know, as I walk down the street, whether it's Denver, Washington, DC or whatever else, I'm always about some idiot or it doesn't matter what sex they are, driving down the side of the road, trying to put makeup on or on their cell phone or trying to eat, which I have pulled over somebody over one time eating fondue in their fucking car. The parents aren't paying attention of what's going on around them. And I'll stop there. Go ahead, Rich. Hold on, I'll play it a little bit further so you can see kind of the advancement of the screen. So at this point, the wife is looking at the husband, the husband, cause the daughter stopped for some reason. Nobody sees the son, who I'm assuming the kid in blue. We're gonna call the girl in yellow, boy in blue. So nobody sees it and she just slashes his face and starts walking and the lady starts coming back. So Rich, go ahead and take over from here. So there's two things I see in this. The first thing is in a politically correct environment, we've lost the backbone to say, hey, please step back. You're making me feel uncomfortable. Don't come near my kids. You know what I mean? Even with you having your, taking your dog for a walk, you have people who just walk up and randomly pet it and a lot of people have lost the backbone to be like, excuse me, don't pet my dog. You know what I mean? And it's like, why are you walking up and talking to my kids? Why are you walking up and coming out? We don't have the audio. So I don't know what she said as she walked up to the kid. It's like, if you wanna say something to my kids, you ask me, I'm the parent. Why are you talking to my kids? You know what I mean? The second thing I see with this because we don't have the audio is the parent's initial reaction is shock. And one of the first things that we teach in our active shooter training, first is understanding the threat, which we kind of spoke about in the beginning of this. But the second thing is accepting reality is real, right? Because your first reaction is gonna be going into shock. You're not expecting someone to walk down the sidewalk and slash your kid's face. You know what I mean? When law enforcement officers or military guys get called to respond to a threat, they're responding to a threat. So when they show up, they're already mentally and emotionally prepared for the worst case scenario. When we're in our comfort zone, enjoying our lives and things like that, and something happens that's out of context for that particular environment, the first thing that we need to do is snap out of shock, right? So what we can do as individuals is first understand that shock is a real reaction and is actually something that we will fall into. So we can recognize that we are falling into shock and we need to snap out of it quickly and make the appropriate reaction based on the situation. Now, Rich, I'm gonna bring it back up. Do you think that that's, so I'm gonna replay it, but watch the father. Do you think he's in shock while this is happening? Because look at him, he's just standing there. He's just standing and watching. Wait, what the fuck is going on? He grabs, yeah, he doesn't know what to do. He grabs his kid and pulls the kid back. And here he's trying to make a decision. Do I chase this lady? Do I stay with my kids? Did that really happen? And by the time he realizes like, hey, this lady just attacked my kids, he's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, I'm gonna chase her down. She's attacked my kids. But you can see him sitting there, processing the information, trying to make a decision on what to do because I would imagine he's in disbelief of what he just witnessed. So I'm gonna play the whole video one more time and then we'll just get off it. But this is the whole thing in real time. Slash his boy, walks back. The dad's still, his daughter's right now, this one. He's standing there. Then now he grabs her, moves her. And now I think then he notices the blood and that's when he kind of chases her and whatnot. All right, we're gonna get off that. Jesus. So, but I mean, I think you're completely right. I think that's something that you can never prepare for anything, but you can prepare and I do believe this for reaction time. I play the what-if scenario in my head a lot. What if this happens? I'll do that. If this happens, I'll do that. And that way in my head, I've taken the action a thousand times. My son last summer almost died and a real long story quick. We were fishing, we were on these rocks. There was a bunch of algae that was really slippery. I told my kid not to step on it. The fool stepped on it. I turned to my daughter, I fixed her fishing line and turned back and my son's gone. He's 20 feet at the bottom of these rocks and all I see is a, it felt like an hour, but it was a second of him looking up at me and then the waves swallowed him and my kid for a second disappeared. And I was like, whoa. And then all of a sudden the wave came up and I see like a hand come up and I fucking threw myself down those rocks to get them, snatched them up, swam back, held on, climbed them up, put them up, whatever, everything was good. But I think what if I was not in enough shape to get down those rocks without breaking my own neck? What if I mentally didn't have, what if I fell into shock? I was like, I don't know what to do. My wife behind me was like, she's not gonna get them. She was freaking the fuck out. But what if I freaked out? My kid gets sucked up to sea and like literally dies. That's really fucked up to like think about, but that's again, it's not just the ultimate Rambo, the bank robbers have you pinned down and you've got to jump and take the shot. We have all these crazy stories in our head for movies but sometimes it's as simple as walking down the street. Are you ready then? So let's dive into how can family men be more situationally aware without becoming the tweakers. Like I said earlier that are wearing the gas cans, the G-Shock, the 5-Eleven, you know they're packing and they're fucking, they are always, oh, my back's not to the door. My back is to the door. I'm sweating now. I'm freaking out. We're not trying to get to that level of insanity, but we are trying to get to the level where you can react faster and when you do react, it's sensible. So how can men train that without going to war? Swift, I'll toss this one to you. All right, so again, I call it videotaping. You know, you're playing the videos, what if, what if, what if, what if. Basically you're trying to take and shorten your UDA response, your UDA loop. Hopefully everyone's familiar with that because that's another whole long deal by itself. But you're trying to shorten your UDA loop so you can still observe, orient and then react to whatever's gonna go on. Because you have to decide. You should have already had decided on what your tools are in your toolbox through training, equipment preparation and then being proficient with whatever tools you have, whether it be the tourniquet in your deal, your pocket, a knife, a gun, a flashlight. And honestly, can you unlock your cell phone after a workout or right in the middle of a workout? Stop doing a workout. Can you even unlock your fucking phone? You know, that's the fastest one as well. Not all, not only to dial 911, but maybe capture a quick picture or video for evidence for later for prosecution. But playing those what if games in your head, you found it and that's the short one. But playing those situations in your head, pick like everyday things, like what happened in your life? Do you remember what happened when you were a kid? When I was a kid, I was around cattle and not just regular cattle, but stock, rodeo stock. So you're gonna get your finger cut off, you're gonna lose a finger, you're gonna lose a foot. The biggest reason why I stopped riding bulls when I was a kid, I got really close to getting something very precious to me stepped on. So I'm done. So when I took my son, my oldest is now 18, but when I took him around and we went rodeoing and I worked the back behind the shoots, I was already prepared in my head what could happen, what I need to watch out for, because kids are still curious and these are big fucking animals. And again, they're just animals. So they have no real hate, they just don't wanna be there, that's it. But again, in your everyday life, what if, what if, what if, and how do I do if this happens? How, what do I do if this happens? As long as you play those, but again, don't get to the point where it's paranoid, aware, they're not paranoid, because you get to there, you're worthless, because you're gonna prowess by analysis as well. No, no, no, good. I was gonna say, Rich, before you go, I wanna throw something out there. You know, when people watch that video, I went through the comments and they all said, oh, she'd have been dead before. She even, you know, touched the sun. Oh, she would have been dead, you know, they say all these things, but then you ask them, when's the last time you shot your gun? Like when's the last time you trained with your firearm? Oh, it's been a few months. Okay, when's the last time you sprinted? Oh, when's the last time you lifted a weight? I don't know. Okay, but you think you're gonna be Rambo? My wife, she has mace. She, we had like sprints and push-ups and all these things, and I'm like, now grab it, now get it out of your purse. Now you're breathing hard, I'm trying to simulate the adrenaline. Think about the same thing with your gun, the same thing with the situation where bombs and shits blown up and you're all fucked up. You know, your hands will be trembling if you don't go through and like train for that response. Cause you need to like, all right, calm down to where you kind of, everything goes silent and you're like just in your zone doing your thing. And it's like slow motion, but you're actually going very fast. You know, if you don't train the way, like the way you're gonna play, you're gonna be fucked up. And I don't know why people have this cognitive dissonance, but they think they're gonna rise to the occasion. They think they'll be the hero. Again, referring back to my son, if I was, you know, 300 pounds, my fucking ass can't get to him. He's on the bottom of a freaking cliff. You know, he dies because I'm fat and lazy. You know, that's, you don't want that to be you. And that's why we're having this show. We don't want your family, your friends, or yourself to die of preventable death. That's ridiculous. So Rich, what is your advice for men looking to become more situationally aware and capable? Well, as far as the, as far as the capable aspect of it, I mean, you kind of touched on, it's kind of the whole concept of our company Full Spectrum Warrior is that we have a lot of people who come, like you're saying who want to do the high speed shooting stuff. And they're like, yeah, man, I want to shoot like an ABCL and all this stuff. And it's like, dude, there's a reason why there's such a big physical fitness aspect to being in the military and stuff like that is because first and foremost, you are the weapon, right? Your, your brain is the strategy, right? Your body is the vehicle. And you're only gonna be able to be as so good as the capability of that vehicle. You know what I mean? And it goes into combatives and then to shooting. And one of the things that's really neglected in the firearms community in my personal opinion is the combatives. So we switch from military mindset where you might be engaging bad guys from really far distances, right? And the bad guys want to kill you from distances, right? And no one, no one cares, you know, how that happens, right? Because the goal is, is, is, you know, defeating the enemy in our personal lives as civilians, that's not the case. Someone's not shooting you necessarily from 300 yards away, right? And then leaving, if someone's going to attack you in the civilian world outside of these active shooter attacks, but even those are still close proximity, but if someone's gonna rob you or rape you or do a home evasion or any of these types of things, the proximity is very, very short. And a lot of people will say, the first thing I would do is shoot them. Well, you can't just draw your gun and shoot them unless you can prove that your life was in danger. So if someone walks up and starts talking crap to you and shoves you, that doesn't give you the right to draw your pistol and shoot them. So how do you de-conflict that situation? Your first reaction is probably gonna, if things do go down, you'll probably have to be in a fist fight or a grappling match until you can create space and identify whether they have a weapon or not and is your life truly in danger before you can draw a firearm. So we hear people a lot of times say that, yeah, I would have just shot them. And it's like, okay, well, you would have just gone to jail too. So that's not necessarily the right response and it's kind of a shortcut or a cop out, in my opinion. It's a little bit more complex than that. And we have to be complex in how we respond to it because it's not just black or white. Now, when it comes to advice on those looking, we always say, keep your head in a swivel. We say, kind of observe and see what's going on around you. Again, we do the what if game. All right, that car's over there. That's kind of weird. It's not normally there. Pay attention to it. That bag, weird shit like that. For the everyday man who's just going through day to day, like that, we see people walking on the road. What are, not some tips, but like some things that men can start doing, that they may not be paying attention to. Yep, I have a tip for that video. So, and not trying to armchair quarterback, but we looked at that, we go, what could we have done differently, right? The one thing I see right off the bat, we do this drill, it's called stacking. And we train the children to stack the adult between the threat and the parent, right? Now, as I'm walking down the street with the children, instead of having the kids on the outside and the parents in the middle, the two parents could be on the outside and the children could be walking in the middle so that the parents have a barrier between anyone who's on the side, who's just hanging out on the sidewalk, everyone they're passing by, even vehicles or dogs or anything like that, in that area that they're passing through, the children are between the parents, right? And basically the parents are a blocking force for the children. Now, that's something you don't have to be paranoid about. It's just when I'm walking, I put the child to the inside. If I'm passing people on the sidewalk, I put my child on the side where they are on the outside and I am in between me and the people we're passing. And we can train the children and make a game out of it so they can do the stacking drill, right? But also when something bad happens, now the children, just like training the children for a fire drill or earthquake drill, right? If there's something happens, like once the guy did slash the child, that child should run and stack the parent and now the parent can focus on the bad guy and doesn't have to look to the child and move the child into position and try to be multitasking, multifocused, the child can move into position and you can put greater attention to what is the threat, right? Or the environment, does that make sense? No, it makes perfect sense. And that's the thing though, it makes perfect sense because I think about this shit. So what I'm hoping to do is have the guys that are watching this to break it down. And this is why I wanted Jeff and I on here because we think like this because we hang around men that do shit like what you guys do and have passed on or like, all right, I'm gonna apply this and make sure it works. In the Navy, I was an engineer. So I didn't have to go, so all the shit I've learned has come from friends or men who've done that shit. And I just, all right, cool, here's how I apply it. And it's funny, one of the things you say, when I walk, I put myself between my wife and the road but I watch all the people walking near us because that's always been like, all right, you're on the inside, my love, you know, you're over here, I'm over here. If a car is coming, boom, you're out of the way, I got you, because I'm watching the car. But like a chameleon, every time a person's coming by, it's like the other eyes watching that guy. Like, all right, cool, like that person, and when they walk past, maybe I'll glance over if they give me the wrong vibe, whatever. But it's, you explained all that and it may seem like this complex thing but it's quite simple. And I really liked how you said it's a game because that makes it less fucking paranoid, you know? It's less of a children, get between your mother and I or I will beat you with a bat and trying to keep you safe, be afraid of the world, none of them know. Hey guys, where are you supposed to stand? All right, come on over here. You know, hey guys, let's, all right, first one of the middle wins. You know, just the little things, kind of like the fire drills. You know, you make it, you make it fun but also educational. And that's the best way to teach a child is to have them enjoying the learning process. They even realize they're learning, that they're playing with mom and dad until they're older and they're like, ah, I got it. Yeah, that's kind of how it works. The other thing, sorry, sorry Jeff. Now I was gonna say, I do the exact same thing like with my wife and one or two of my kids are out with us, I always walk behind them because if we were attacked from the rear, I'm gonna get it first. And they have to get past me to get to them. But if they're in front of me a few paces, I can see everybody around them. And I can see who would try to engage them from either side or the front. So, I mean, it is just second nature and I always pass it off as the excuse I like to look at her ass. Now I was just gonna say, you also, there's another reason, right? So I'm gonna, Swift, before you go, I'm just gonna throw this on the screen but it's gonna block you and Rich. No, you can go, I just wanna bring this up. So Don says, you know, people should set a weekly reminder on their phone. I put on your phone on the calendar somewhere to practice situational awareness. The talk is great, but people fall into comfort and complacency and will forget. I think that's a solid point. Somewhere on your calendar, hey, fire drill. Hey, make sure you know I'm training not just how to lift and how to shoot but like to do push-ups and then shoot, to do a few sprints, burpees and then shoot, not just going to the range and making sure that your spread is within six inches. Swift, go ahead. The biggest thing that people forget about that I really reiterate and I have to retrain, especially new team members, is read body language. Read your environment and when, because you told me one time, you look, I say something and it's like it's common knowledge but then I forget to elaborate on it, especially in podcasts as well. It's when you say, hey, are you looking around or are you observing? It's hard to truly articulate in a quick little podcast tonight but what are they looking for? What are you looking for people who have that intent I'm gonna say evil but they're looking that it's raising your little red flag. Why is this person looking at kids or why is this person looking at that girl? Why is this person looking at that car that is not what I would judge as normal? And again, if you can articulate it just like that, we'll back you up in court as well. Why is that guy looking at that car like that? And later he stole it. Why is that guy looking at that girl at the bar like that? And all of a sudden he tried to get her later. So you need to, on top of learning your tools, knife, gun, combattas, open hand, empty hand type thing, you had better learn how to read people. My wife and I do it all the time. We call it our people watching thing. Kind of like, oh, Jack Murphy, are they fucking? They're great games, they're great date games, but they also help build those skills of how to read people in society, outside of home and public events, scenario situations. Because once that, and then when you can do that and you do those games, it shortens your OODA loop. So in case something bad happens, you're already reacting, you're done. Whether it be a quick, the mom or the dad get the knife in the back of the arm on a block. So the kid doesn't get cut. Or a couple of, we've seen them, those great dad videos where their dad saves the kid at the last minute before the kid eats the bricks or falls off the swing or gets hit by the shopping cart. Those are people who are watching their environment, not have their head up their butt on the phone, but they knew what was gonna happen because it was different than normal, they reacted. They saved somebody. That is what should be the paramount thing on top of learning your skills and developing them and become a very well in them. That's an incredibly important, I'm really glad you brought that up, man. So first off, micro expressions, that's a real thing. That is just like the twitch of an eye or maybe eyes wide open where they should be a little bit closed. Nobody walks around like this on the street unless something's up. You're either on drugs or you have, you're adrenaline's flowing and you're ready to commit something. But dad reflexes, that's not a thing. It's just men who've had kids are now more aware because they're playing in their head. All right, my kid's on that wall. If he steps here, he's gonna fall there. I'll be able to catch him. If he steps here, he's gonna fall there. I'll be able to catch him. So when that happens, you've already done it 100. This goes back to, you know, you perform the action a thousand times. So when it's time to call on it, you go. You know where to step, you know where to put your hand, you know everything you're gonna do because you've already done it. So dad reflexes can be trained by all men. They call it dads because they're paying attention but if you're a man leading a family and it's maybe it's just you and your wife, maybe it's you and your girlfriend and she's walking on the road. What are you gonna do if she rolls and falls? You should have yourself in a position to catch her. What are you gonna do if somebody runs and bumps her because you see these people running down the road? What do you do? And this kind of goes, we had a question that said by Jimmy G, how important is respect when it comes to a father keeping his family secure? And I'm gonna touch on this one before I toss it to the men. It's huge because there's a huge difference between one second and three. If I say to my wife, get down or if I tell my kids, come here, that happens. They understand I'm not fucking around if I say in that tone. If they don't respect you or they don't think that you have the right answer or you're not a good leader and you say, come here, why? Well, bam, you just gotta run the fuck over because you waited because you did not respond as quickly as you should have because you did not command their respect. Your family needs to know how quick to respond and to swift. How do you instill that? How did you, and this, we had another question which is how do you provide proof of a sense of security to your family without situational confrontation where you would protect them? So basically, how do you let your family know to listen to you and follow you if you've never done anything? You know, nothing's ever happened for you to prove or to test your metal. How did you prove that to your, I know you're fucking swift but for the average man, you know? We're talking to just the average Joe, you know, nine to five coming home, wife, kids. All right, so the first thing, so I have a blue in the family, okay? So I have two step daughters and they fall in between my other three. So I have five kids total. The easiest way to make sure that respect is still built is when I joke with them, it's nothing too serious or the joke isn't too far fetched. I mean, I don't fuck with my girls or my kids but I tease them. So just four weeks ago now, we had a pretty bad storm. You know, my roof got beat the shit by hell, about inch and a half golf ball size hell, about eight a mile an hour wind. But it started to turn and my Southern boy thing goes, this might be a tornado. So I immediately woke all my kids up one time and said, get downstairs with mom. No one argued, no one said anything else. Everyone immediately got up, grabbed a little stuffy, little bunny, their elephant, you know, and their blankie went straight downstairs to mom. No questions asked, no arguments, no nothing. After the storm was done, all of them were like, use the dad voice. I'm like, good, shit. The dad voice is a thing. It's real. People, it sounds like a joke because I go, dad jokes. No, dad voice isn't the fucking fat joke. That's legit. You use that tone, fucking family better, fucking straighten up. Why scream and go to bed? No one listens, I go, hey, bed now it's done. So dad voice is real. And it's happened before too. So my kids are kind of not trained to it but they recognize it and they do it. You know, we were downtown one time and somebody was, they peaked my radar up pretty hard. You know, using my fish and mirror on my truck and I'm like, you know what, get in the floor real quick. Boom, seatbelts off in the floor. You know, because they know if something bad happens, you know, happy glock comes out and gets to play. So best place for them is underneath happy glock. So it happens. But again, the best way to help instill that respect is constantly reminding them, hey, I'm dad, you know, I'm stepdad, you know, I care about you. I want the best for you. If I say, do something, then do it. You know, it goes back to a military axiom that I know, you know, do what you're told, when you're told. You know, easy. And that's re-enerated into my kids and my family. Quite often, but they also know that I love them and it's not all so serious all the time. There's time to play and then they know when it's time to listen and shut up and do exactly what dad said, do it right now. I think there's also a time and place, you know, where you can prove that to them. You know, let's say you're out, you and your wife are getting dinner together and some guy bumps into her and knocks her over and you're like, he walks by and she's like, well, what are you gonna do? And you're like, well, you were in his way. And like, you're afraid to confront the guy so you bash your wife. That shows her that you are conflict of verse like a motherfucker. Like, how could you think you're gonna rise to the occasion if you start crying and yelling at her when some fucking asshole walks into her? Cause you don't wanna fight, you know, fucking Chad, cock McDiesel over here. Was that from that story I told you about when me and my wife first started dating? No, but I do wanna hear that at some point. But before that, Jeff, go ahead. You were gonna say something. Let's see, kind of in parallel to what you were talking about Swift. I like to get my kids involved in that as well based on their age. You may have seen, I put some pictures up where I took them up on a six mile hike through the mountains. We hung out at some waterfalls, but I had a rule right before we started on the trail. I told my 16 year old, I said, look, something happens to me, I'll get myself out of it. You'd go ahead and take your younger brothers back to the car. If I fall, fuck me, you just go, right? And then my 13 year old right below him, I said, if something happens to him, I'll get him. You take little brother, 10 year old, and go. 10 year old, your only responsibility is to go with the oldest available person back to the fucking car. You know, that's it. If something happens to anybody else, I'll get them, youngest boy follows oldest available and gets the fuck out of dodge. And so I try to do that before we get into any kind of situation where something could happen, because where we were, a lot of it is marked, but a lot of it's unmarked too. And I think there's a shitload of bear sightings as well as I think nine deaths just this year alone from those falls. So I was like, everybody does exactly what the fuck I say unless something happens to me and then you stay on the trail, go the fuck to the car, I'll fix me. But I think being able to put them in miniature situations like that is another good way to build that kind of a reliant on you to have the best advice attitude. Hey, we're going to be going to the beach. I want everybody to follow me and do what I say if something happens, give them a job. You know, I just wrote the shit. I just wrote that down to talk about in a second, but we'll get to that, Rich. We've got a question that I wanted to toss your way. So from the chat it says, how do you react when someone larger in frame or a professional MMA fighter is testing you? So somebody that's clearly a proven fighter is testing you in front of others. Well, there's one thing, I mean, you just gotta be careful if you try to escalate a situation, right? Then it may escalate to the point where you can't then deescalate it. So you can be confident without being cocky. You know what I mean? Like you can respectfully stand your ground. And one of the things that we were talking about at the 21 convention, we had a similar comment, was many times when people will try to push your buttons or whatever, like let's say they're making a comment like, hey dude, that's a stupid t-shirt. You know what I mean? And try to like throw something out there to test you to try to get your response. You could try to ignore them or whatever, but if you're in a position where you can't, what you can always do is ask the instigator a question back. When you ask them like same thing when you're working with cluster B personalities, when you throw a question back at them, it breaks them out of that emotional state of mind and it slows things down because now they're obligated to answer, right? And if you can keep that in that discussion, it buys you time, where at the same time, you don't have to be a coward and back down and be super passive, but you don't have to be overly aggressive in your body language, because body language is 90% of communication like you were talking about before, right? You can be confident in your body language without being challenging in your body language. You know what I mean? So you don't need to bow up or step forward, you can stand tall and take like a step back and be like, pose a question, you know, why is it something like my t-shirt upsets you that much? You know what I mean? Is that really a big deal? Like, how could that possibly such a big deal that it would get you that upset? Is the t-shirt really the issue that's bothering you? Because no one in their right mind would wanna get in a fight over something stupid like what you're wearing, what do you care what I'm wearing? That, you know what I mean? But you see people say something about your hat or your shirt or whatever, but that's not the issue. You know what I mean? No one wants to get in a fight over a t-shirt, but people will make comments about your clothing. You get what I'm saying? Yeah. So that's just one way, because the other thing is, we're not in high school anymore. You know what I mean? And we have to be very cautious on, without being a coward, we have to be cautious on taking that, entertaining that person who's trying to instigate the fight and as much as we might wanna take that fight, we have to think, well, what's, if I lose this fight, what position does that put my children or my wife or whatever in, you know what I mean? Sometimes you just have to bite your tongue and walk, but at the same time, you, like you're talking about before if someone bumps into your wife, don't throw that on her, because now you totally lose respect from her. And if you lose respect from your wife or kids, when you go to try, you know, they're not gonna take what you say seriously. I had listened into one of your talks and I think one of your responses to that as well was, don't become a victim in the first place. Like, don't be the guy, he thinks, oh, that's the guy I'm gonna fuck with. You know, make yourself, carry yourself well enough to if you're at the bar or wherever, you're also giving off the vibe of like, look, that's, there's gotta be somebody weaker than that. I can, you know, if they're going to tool on somebody, it's not gonna be the one guy that they're like, all right, that guy's got my respect already because he's sitting straight, he's dressed well. You know, he looks like he is physically capable. Like if you're some short pudge dude wearing like a beer pong t-shirt, dude, he's gonna like, all right, you're a little frat boy and he's been training, you know, MMA the past six months, he just wants to beat somebody and you have like an easy target to make him feel good. Yep. But yeah, Rich, to your response about, you know, ask them a question. I mean, the guy just could be having a bad fucking day. So ask him, you know, are you all right? Cause I mean, you called me out over a t-shirt, but are you okay? Cause you seem like you're worked up. Anything bothering you? And that throws them for the loop, you know, they probably just have something wrong and they're just wanting to vent and take it out on someone. Don't say who hurt you. You know what I mean? But they're in the assault, right? They're instigating, so they're pushing forward. And when you ask them a question, it's like throwing a jab back that you ever watch fighters throw jabs but they don't make contact, right? They're just doing it to hold space. It's a, it's a, it's an empty jab that holds position and keeps that person just enough respect so they don't move forward into your space, right? So essentially what that does is it slows down the attack and what we want, again, is time to process information, time to see, well, who's his friends and read the whole situation. Cause again, we're like, whoa, this caught me off guard out of context. I wasn't expecting to get in a fight tonight, right? So when I throw that question, they'll like, the majority of the time, when you ask them a question, they feel obligated to answer it. And that buys you time. And it breaks them out of their aggression cycle and it puts them into a cycle of having to problem solve and come up with an answer, which takes them out of that mental state of mind, momentarily. Another question from the chat from Darius. Do any of you guys have any experience in neighborhood watch local gun club or that kind of thing? Yes. Yeah. So the answer is yes, Darius. Yes or no questions. So I, we don't have a neighborhood watch, but I mean, obviously when I drive around, I'm checking out the neighborhood, making sure everything's good. I'm a part of a local gun club. So I mean, if you want to be proficient with your firearms, you should be shooting your firearm and to be shooting your firearm without spending money off the asset, the range you can rent stuff, get a part of a club somewhere and you know, pay your dues once a year or whatever and then shoot your brains out. Don't act, don't shoot your brains out. I mean, go and actively shoot your weapon a lot, you know what I'm saying? I almost had to shoot your balls off, but I'm like, my, my, and I was like, yeah, don't do that. Go and shoot the targets a lot. Like a, a wicked lot. That'll work. Holy fuck. Anthony, man, I'm going to get fired. I'm not going to be on the red bank group. You know, Jeff's going to be the new host of Patriarchs. I got a better beard anyway. You know, I've got to grow this shit back. It's all right. The other two guys don't have shit. I've got to shave it off. All right. We're coming towards the end of this episode. So one thing I wanted to kind of toss your way. Now we'll start with Swift because Rich just went last. If you had, let's say, training advice for get physically and mentally preparing oneself for, you know, defending their family in a crisis situation, you know, what were your top three pieces of advice be? You know, for mentally and physically preparing for, I want to say war, but it, you know what I mean, like shit hitting the fan, whether it be a storm, a flood, a riot, you know, the cops aren't going to get to them. They need to act or their family needs to act. What are the three things they can do mentally and three things they can do physically to prepare for that? Mentally is besides the what if scenarios. Actually, I think that's a good one. You know, don't not besides that. A lot of people don't do that. So that's a great one. Right. So yeah, basically what if, but also you don't control everything. If something bad happens, it's not your fault. You did the best you could to prevent it. Bad shit still happens. You did the best you could to train for to respond to it, bad shit still happens. You know, cause you could still do your job 100% and still lose. That was from a Colonel Buddy of mine that I know. You know, you can do your job proficiently every day and you still die. So mentally, just know it's not your fault but you will still try to fight. Keep it up. Physically, you know, be able to tie your own shoes and bend over, you know, if it your guts in the way to something about it. You know, can you do 20 body squats? Can you do 20 push-ups? I would say be, don't be AJ perfect but do the best and be the best that you are and can be. Don't give up. Third one, be proficient with what tools you can afford. Whether it be a little bug out bag, a little blowout bag, a first aid, a knife. You know, everyone carries that tool. You know, be proficient with a knife and be proficient with your gun. Keep, and also my biggest tip, keep the damn thing clean. Other than that, and you know, have a cell phone and know how to get a hold of 911. Now, what's the number for 911? Just for the audience. Well, if you got a Cisco phone, it's nine, 911. If you have a real number, it's 912. All right. So Jeff, before Rich gives his three mental and physical, I'm gonna toss this question to you because we aren't the seals on the slot or anything. So we're just average dudes answering average questions. How much does giving my buddy crap in front of his wife or girlfriend family, even in a joking manner, cut down respect for that man in his family's eyes? I would say it depends on the relationship that you have with that family. But just in general, like if you don't have, you know, like for example, you know, I don't know your wife, you don't know my wife. Now I'll bust your balls all day long. But if I'm in front of your family, I'm not gonna bust your balls because in your eyes, in their eyes, you're fucking Superman, or at least you should be. And if you've got some guy, just random dude that your family's never met, busting your balls and you're just taking it, you know, granted, there's gonna be some, like ribbon and ball busting between guys in general. But if you're going just always knocking and you're not busting back, then yeah, it's gonna make you look like a little bitch in front of your family, even subconsciously. I mean, like, you know, your wife is gonna think, well, if I hell, if I joke with him like that and I go too far, he actually says something to me, but he never busted this guy's balls back. And so it does take away a little bit of the credibility, at least subconsciously in your family's eyes. So while it can be done, as long as he's reciprocating, busting your balls back, you know, and then it just shows a healthy male dynamic of, you know, we're just fucking with each other rather than you harping on the guy and him taking it. That's a great answer. You know, I was thinking along the same lines, you know, you'll know when you cross the line, if the guy's always trying to change the subject or he's not like talking shit back, you cross the line. Now he's defensive, now he's upset. And you know, when you leave, he's gonna pitch to fucking everybody about you. So if nobody's laughing, stop. Yeah. All right, Rich, three pieces of advice for the men who are tuned in or are going to be watching this, mentally and physically to prepare themselves and their family for the shit hitting the proverbial fan. Yeah, definitely. So real quick, before I do that, just to add on to what you're saying, I would also ask, why would someone who's supposed to be my friend feel inclined to try to de-edify me in front of my wife or kids, right? What is, is that something a true friend would do? If I'm ever around someone who's my friend and their kids are around, I would edify them, not de-edify them. If you wanna joke and have fun, there's jokes that you can do that you can have fun and banter without the joke being a personal attack against the father or the husband, right? So you can still have jokes, but why do they, like, I would just ask you, why are, what is your motive, why are you trying to build yourself up by breaking me down in front of my wife or my kids? Because now you put me in a situation where I have to retaliate, right, to defend myself, to keep my honor in front of them, right? And that's just a really bad situation. It's not a good dynamic for your friendship or for your marriage or your being a parent, which goes back to before when you're talking about, how do I have them take me seriously when I've never been in a fight in front of them in one of these situations? Well, those people who are right there, those dynamics that you're seeing right there with your friends in front of them, like, that's a big indicator of whether they'll trust you in a real situation or not, you know, going back to the philosophy of how do you destroy a tank, you destroy it from the inside, you know what I mean? You don't throw a grenade at the outside of the tank, throw the grenade on the inside of the tank. So just something to consider. But going into what are the things from mentality to physically for preparing ourselves to protect our family, I would say, going right into this, parlaying from that, is the first thing I would say is, earn your own respect, right? If you want your kids to respect you, if you want your wife to respect you, your friends respect you, first things foremost, you need to respect yourself. So putting in that, putting in the discipline, taking, you know, not taking yourself too seriously, but taking yourself seriously enough that you prescribe to a discipline, routine, right? That gets results and people look up to it and they see that you are consistent. You do what you say and you say what you do, you know what I mean? Like you follow up on what you start as far as physically goes. A good physical physique is important. Men, the first thing they do when they look at each other, right, is they eyeball each other up and they go, could I kick that guy's ass or not? And, you know, obviously me being a skinny dude, like, you know, there's a lot of guys who will look at me and go, that dude's a seal, I think I could take him. You know what I mean? And I understand that, but guys do that, right? That's one of the first things to do. So being physically fit is important, right? But going into if we are from my personal, like from my training standpoint, as far as fitness goes, I go, what makes me the most capable? My body's going to form up whatever way it's going to be. I'm training to be more athletic, have more endurance, be more capable for fighting, right? And all of my training routines are geared toward, I want to be able to fight. And how my body develops and whether you think it looks good or not is a byproduct of my training. I don't go, my focus is just looking good, right? But I can't run, I can't swim. I have shitty range of motion and all this kind of stuff. But I look really good with my shirt off, you know what I mean? So being capable, taking priority over just the physical looks of it, you know what I mean? And then going into actually following through and taking the time to go do some self-defense training, go to the shooting range. And that could be a great time for you to bond with your family. It could be a great time for you to do something fun with your spouse or your girlfriend or whatever. And if you go get an instructor or something like that, that could be a great opportunity to where you don't have to essentially be the parent role, you're still a parent, but you can be working side by side with your kids and use that as a joint learning experience and build that relationship with them and that bond and that trust and let someone else lead out on something that maybe you're not totally the expert on or super proficient in and humble yourself in front of your family and be like, hey dude, I'm not the expert on this, we all need to learn this, let's go get with an expert, right? And let's go learn together. And by doing that, you can actually gain more trust and respect because they see that you're humble enough to work side by side with them. And then again, coming back into building that respect so that when you say something, they take it seriously. Very well said. And I think the combination of the two of you guys is that's the recipe, that's the playbook. It was just given to you, rewatch the video, record that, write it down. That's your playbook for being successful and having as positive an outcome as you can have or preparing yourself as best you can for worst case scenario. And to kind of wrap this one up before I go into links to that thing, let's look at what we covered today. It's not a matter of if your number is gonna be called, it's when something at some point is going to happen to you. Whether that's a storm knocking out the neighborhood and the ambulances can't get to you, they're swamped, the cops can't get to you, they're busy. You've gotta survive. So we look at this and a lot of it comes down to preparation. And let's bring it all the way to the minute. If your kid falls at the playground and scrapes their knee, do you have something to take care of that in your vehicle? Too many men will say no. That's pathetic. You're not even trying. You think you're Rambo, but you can't even be playground fucking hero. Nevermind saving the day, like a high risk situation. Be prepared. A lot of people with this storm Dorian, let's say you did smash a cat five. Let's say you did, rich, hey, rich wouldn't be on the panel because he's in Florida. But let's say it's slain Florida. Or are you ready? Do you have water, food, supplies, lights? I mean, first aid, filtration systems. If you don't have those things, then your opportunity, that one window to show your family that you can handle it when shit is the fan, you've blown it. You went from hero to zero because you didn't prepare. Don't wait for it to happen to react. Be proactive, not reactive. Be prepared ahead of time. Have yourself planned out for something as simple as the playground. Have your little medical kit to something as big as, your kid falls out and a bone gets ripped through his arm, but you can't leave because something happened and you've got to handle a serious, I remember it's called like a compound break or something like that, where you got to take care of your kid. What are you going to do? You've got to be ready. You've got to be ready for worst case scenario. And that doesn't mean you're always thinking worst case scenario, but you're ready. It's not going to be the zombies. Everybody loves to say, oh, when the zombie apocalypse hits, I got a thousand rounds of ammo. That's awesome. You don't know how to fucking shoot though. What the fuck's the point of having all that ammo? They're going to be, they're going to storm you and they're just going to take you over and you just gave them all your ammo. So it's not the ammo, it's you. You're scrounging around for food. You're scrounging around for food, cut your leg on glass. You have no idea how to apply a tourniquet. I mean something, it sounds funny, but something as small as that is what's going to fuck you up because you're not ready for that. You're too busy thinking huge, you know, thing and it's actually the small everyday opportunity that you have to do things right. So prepare yourself by planning in advance. Get yourself a small medical kit. They're at CVS, they're at Rite Aid, they're on Amazon, it's like 20 bucks and you can be a fucking hero. Trust me, I've been there. I've got all the ice packs. So if a kid takes a ball off his head, Coach Drew saves the day, you know, runs in, has it popped open. Guess what? Go get some ice cream or something kid, you know, while your eyes are all like, you got a big shiner. But guess what? I can sit there and be like, I don't know. The lead didn't arm me with anything to take care of you guys. Oh, it's your fault. You're a man. Take care of these people. Buy two first aid kits. One to keep and one to play with to figure out how to use it all. It's even better advice. Yeah. I was totally on a soapbox and I forgot I was supposed to wrap this thing up. So gentlemen, I'll be speaking. Rich will be speaking this October from the 24th to the 27th in Orlando. We'll be having the 21 convention. The link is below. Go in, enjoy it. It's a great time. You can ask the questions one on one. You can do all these things. Also, if you look below, you'll see the sponsors of the show. You got tactical soap. You've got Tate's War Room and you've got the fraternity of excellence. If you're looking to join a group where men are coming together to train these things and to do stuff like that, that's what we do in FOE. Jeff's a member. He can vouch for it. That is what we're talking about. I think we've got eight meetups this month. You know, these men coming together. And if you use the code RMG10, you'll get 10% off your membership price. Make sure you've subscribed. Make sure you hit the like button. And more importantly, than anything having to do with supporting us, support yourself. Don't just listen to a YouTube channel, but apply the information. Apply it to your life. It's awesome you tuned in. I appreciate that. It's awesome you dropped questions. That's really cool. I love the engagement. But at the end of the day, did you use the information that we gave you? Because if you didn't, you wasted our time. We know this. We live this. This is what we do. We're looking to get better at all times. But this is how we operate. Be like that. Be another father we can count on. Like if shit is the fan, you'll take care of my kid. I'll take care of yours. You know, but apply it. Don't be the guy who suffers preventable pain and preventable laws or have your family suffer it because you didn't want to act. Rich, Swift, Jeff, thank you for coming on. For everyone who tuned in, thank you for clicking, enjoying spread the knowledge.