 We interrupt this broadcast to warn people to be on the lookout for the notorious hitman, Nicholas Stein. He was last seen at the parking lot outside of the Walmart on 20th 30th Street, where he killed three middle-aged men. Some details about Stein's appearance include his height being around 5'7", his outfit being all black, clothing that's covered in blood, and his weapon of choice being a knife. Thank you for calling BoxAndThink.com's customer service link. My name is Lance, and what can I do for you this evening? Hey Lance, it's Nick. Oh hi Nick. Call me to make another return? Yes, I'd like to make a return. Let me guess, are you returning the knife? Yeah, I have to clear all the evidence as soon as possible. Oh Nick, you killed me with these jokes. Yep, you know me. Nick the jokester. Hey Nick. What are the price tags for these things? Nick. What is it? Can I ask you something? Make you quick. So you and I have been friends for a while? I wouldn't say friends, but continue. And I know you're a very busy butcher, but I was wondering if maybe you and I could hang out sometime? You, you're available Thursday? No. Uh, how about Friday? Not this Friday, not next Friday, and not ever. Why not? You've been calling me to make returns for almost a year. I think it's time that we meet in person. Lance, I live a dangerous, meaningless life. A life that you do not want to get involved with. Look, I have other things to do than just return some knives. But Nick, you don't understand. Understand what? That because I make a lot of returns to this website, that means we're automatically friends? Do you think I actually mean something to you? But it's more than just that. No there isn't, face it Lance. We're not friends, we never were, and we never will be. I don't need you or your compliments, so will you stop wasting my time and make my return? I understand. I'm sorry for wasting your time. Thank you, I was wondering if... With your hands! What was that? Nothing, just my neighbors being loud. Come out, before we force ourselves in! I have to hide. Are you okay Nick? My loud neighbor just broke into my house. Oh no, should I call the police? No, no, it's fine. He does this all the time when he's drunk. He'll probably leave in a minute or two. But now I have some time to spare. So, I guess you can tell me what you were going to say. Really? Oh thank you Nick. What I was going to say is that I wanted to thank you for having an impact on my life. In what way? Oh, before you first called me, I was in a rough place in my life. Just a couple months after I graduated high school, my parents died in a horrific car accident. No one wanted to be my friend, and I had no other siblings for contact with anyone else in my family. I was on my own. I had to get this dead-end job just for myself during freshman year of college. I ended up getting kicked out for flunking most of my classes. With failing college and having no friends or family by my side, life was pretty grim for me. That was until the day you called. You were the first person I ever had a conversation with after my parents died. With your constant turns and calling my car with a steamer service line, I finally had someone to talk to. Someone that I considered a friend. Do you really mean that? Yes Nick, I'm so grateful that you came to my life. You're the greatest and only friend I ever had. Wow. I really mean something to someone. I'm important. My life isn't meaningless. You're free to go. By the name of Lance Miller. In fact, he fully paid the $75,000 bill amount. There's some forms you have to sign and you'll be ready to re-enter society. That's what it is. Lance. The one and only. I can't believe it. How'd you do it? Well, while you're incarcerated, I found out I had a grandmother. And she lent me $75,000. So, I decided to use that to bail you out. Wow, you didn't have to. That's what friends are for. They help each other out through tough times. Well, now since I'm out of prison, do you maybe want to hang out? No, you know me so well.