 Hello, welcome back to my channel, or welcome if you're new. I am so excited. This is my first, like, non-vlog, my first get ready with me that I'm doing in this bathroom in the new apartment. If you've already been watching me, if you compare this to what I would film in my bathroom in the old apartment, such a difference. This is so much better. The lighting, incredible. If you are new here though, hi, my name is Sam. I'm just gonna be getting ready and completely overshare and give you all the tea about my relationship because I shared a couple months ago that I got back together with my ex-boyfriend and I shared a little bit like here and there, like on my podcast and on this channel, but I never like just sat down in one format and just gave like the full details from start to finish. I feel like anytime I say anything about my boyfriend or anybody like sees a picture of us together or something, I'm always getting messages like, wait, what? How did I miss this? What's going on? Also, if anybody else is going through something similar, I know throughout the last couple years, like figuring things out with him, I was really looking for people to relate to that had been in a similar situation because it's tough. The word ex has such a negative connotation and when people hear that you're talking to your ex or getting back together with your ex, nine out of ten times, you are met with, oh my god, no, what are you doing? Like, don't do that. That's a bad idea. They're an ex for a reason, like you broke up for a reason, but sometimes that reason is not always because they were a bad person or you weren't good for each other. Sometimes it's just like, you both have things you need to work out on your own separately or it's not the right timing or whatever. Before I get started though, I do have to give a quick shout out to the sponsor of this video, dossier. If you know me in real life, you know that this is a staple for me. I'm a big fragrance person. I always need my home smelling good. I need to always smell good. I go through perfume a lot and dossier makes replicas of designer brand name fragrances, but they just give it a different name, put it in simpler packaging and you can get it for a fraction of the price. So rather than paying like $200 for a perfume, you can pay like $30. It's like, it's a no-brainer. And I have a few favorites from them. My go-to that I have been wearing, it's been like my signature scent for a couple years now is the Amberie Saffron, which is a replica of the Baccarat Rouge 540, which is very expensive, but it's like a quarter or less of the price from dossier. And it smells amazing. It lasts all day. I get compliments constantly, but what is very exciting is they recently launched their discovery set because I get messages from you guys asking like, what are your favorite scents? What do you recommend? And it's hard to say because there are so many that I love. And like fragrance is so specific to each different person. We all have different preferences and depending on how it mixes with your natural pheromones, it can smell a little different person to person. So the discovery set is so awesome because you get 10 of these smaller sized bottles. So you can try 10 different fragrances, see which one you like before you commit, or if you are someone that likes to just change up your scent all the time and you don't want to just commit to wearing the same perfume every single day, this is a great option. I think this would make a really great gift for one person or you could honestly get this and then divvy it up and like make a little gift basket and include one of these for 10 different people. I just think it's such a cool idea. And in the discovery kit, you get seven inspired fragrances and then three dossier originals. And they do have ambrose saffron in here, which like I said, is my favorite signature scent. So if you'd like to check out dossier for yourself and get the discovery set, I will have a link and a discount code in the description. And thank you so much dossier for sponsoring the portion of this video. I already put ambrose saffron on today, but I'm gonna give myself one more spritz. Why not? So I guess I'll just start at the very beginning, like how me and my boyfriend met because I really love this story. And comment down below, let me know. If you have a partner, I would love to know how you guys met because I love hearing these stories. But I was going through like a weird transitional phase in my life. I had just got out of a really long relationship where we were living together. We had been together since high school. It was like first serious relationship, first love type situation. And I ended that relationship, moved back home with my parents, enrolled myself in cosmetology school. Like it was really, I was just like starting completely fresh. And I was not focused on like getting into another relationship or meeting anybody else. So one day, like a couple months after I had moved back home, he was my brother's friend and they had went to school together, but they didn't really like hang out. They weren't close friends. When they were still in school, they reconnected a few years later after they graduated. They were working together and like had mutual friends and stuff. So after I had already like left, I was no longer living at home with my parents. They became friends. They started hanging out regularly. So I wasn't aware of this friend. I was sitting on the couch in my parents house and I was like in my pajamas and my robe, had my glasses on, hair was a mess. And I was just watching TV with my mom and this guy walks through the front door and I was like, who is that? The funny thing about it too was my mom and I at the time were binge watching the show Shaneless. And I remember saying to her, oh my god, Lip, one of the characters on the show is so hot. Like there's just something about him that is, oh my god, like I have the biggest crush on him. And my boyfriend resembles him a lot, just the way he like carries himself, the way he dresses and stuff. And so when I saw him that first time, I was like, this is insane. Like I was just sitting here talking about how I have such a crush on this guy, this character and his doppelganger like just walked through the door. But my brother is younger than me and so is my boyfriend. And so at the time I was just like, oh well, he's just like my younger brother's hot friend. I really didn't think anything of it, wasn't planning on pursuing anything, because I was just like not really wanting that at the time anyway. And also like he was younger. But I would find myself like looking forward to whenever he would come over to the house to hang out with my brother. And I remember at the time I had saw this meme that I thought was so funny. It was basically saying like, oh me at 27, I'm just hoping my soulmate will walk through the door and find me sitting on my couch. And you know years later looking back and like that is basically what happened. Like I wasn't looking for anyone. I was literally just sitting on my couch at home in my pajamas. And this man just literally like walked into my life. And the other thing that's funny about it and that I think just makes it feel so like meant to be is he had met my dad at the gym. They were both working out at the same gym and they would go around the same time and they would work out together I guess whatever. He didn't know my dad's last name. So he didn't know that my dad was my brother's dad. So he was friends with my brother. Didn't realize that like there was that connection. One day when he was at the house hanging out with my brother, he saw my dad and it was this whole moment like, wait what? What are you doing here? How do you know? Like and then you know I ended up moving home and then he met me and it just kind of felt like well if I didn't end up meeting him through my brother I might have met him through my dad. Like it would just felt like it was just meant to like he was just meant to be a part of my life you know. So anyway he would just be at the house all the time and I would just refer to him as my brother's hot friend. Didn't know anything about him. And then months later I had started dating a little bit here and there and I was seeing this guy for a little bit and he just turned out to be a total fuck boy and I went to my brother's room the one night to go like vent to him and ask for like guy advice on the situation and his friend was there and so he was getting all this advice and he was just like being so insightful and just honest with me and I don't know it was just I just loved like his maturity and his energy like that was really the first time that we really had a conversation and then anytime I would see him again at the house he would ask me updates like oh so like what's going on with that guy did you try what I suggested and like the more I would talk to him and just be around him I was like I am into him but is this weird because he's my brother's friend and like he's younger than me I don't know so then fast forward another couple months later my brother invited me to a New Year's Eve party that another mutual friend was having and that's when like the sparks started flying you know we were like drinking we got really flirty and we just ended up hanging out that whole night we had exchanged numbers or snapchats or something and then he ended up texting me like the next day and from there we were just talking non-stop and then we started seeing each other very casually he actually ended up coming to my cosmetology school because it was like the last couple months before I finished school that we started seeing each other and he came to my school and he let me get some of my last few credits done on him I like gave him a manicure I gave him a perm and a haircut like a bunch of stuff and just seeing the way that he was at my school and like with all of my friends at school and then of course after that all my teachers and friends at school were like oh god who was that guy he's so cute you guys are so great together oh my god blah blah so just the more time we would spend together like we both just really started falling for each other more and more it was like in the beginning I just wanted something like casual and innocent because I wasn't sure with our age gap he's six years younger than me by the way I always envisioned myself ending up with someone older than me for whatever reason also my brother was not happy at all with us getting together to put it lightly so I didn't think like oh this is gonna turn into anything serious but the more that we got to know each other we just are so similar at our core and it was interesting because I felt like any other time when I would first meet a guy you know there's always like that pressure you always feel a little nervous like oh I don't want to come off the wrong way or like embarrass myself or you know you want to make a good impression but with him from day one immediately maybe because he already knew my family and so it just felt comfortable I don't know but I immediately just felt like I could completely be myself and like let my walls down it could even also be the age gap thing because I was the older one maybe I didn't feel like I had to impress him I don't know but there was just from day one like this comfortable feeling of like we're just on the same wavelength you get me I don't have to filter myself in any way that was just so refreshing there was a lot of emotions that I experienced and I was like I've never felt this way before and I didn't even think that it was really actually possible to feel this way about somebody and just things he would do for me that I was so not used to like he would just be so sweet and consider it and like on his way home from class he would stop at my job and bring me a coffee without me even having to ask and I will never forget I stayed the night at his house one time and it was in the winter he literally got up early so he could go clean the snow off my car and heat it up for me as I was getting ready I didn't ask he didn't tell me he was gonna go do it like he would just do it like just sweet thoughtful things like that that I was not used to at all because in my previous relationship that would be stuff that I would ask for and I would just get met with like can you just do it yourself do I have to like shit like that it's like come on can you show me you love me and do something nice for me for once and like without me having to ask to you know so it was just a big change for me and I was head over heels like completely infatuated with this man and I really was convinced like we are soulmates we are going to get married like this is it for me this is my person I cannot believe that we found each other and that he exists like he is my perfect person oh my god I've never been so happy amazing and then I don't know life just happens he was in college at the time and just trying to figure things out he wasn't super committed to a specific major he changed his major a few times I was just trying to figure out like what he wanted to do career wise which I can personally relate to but it was just a little bit frustrating because due to our age difference I was at a point where I was like okay I was like starting to get established with being a hairdresser and like YouTube was doing well for me so I felt like okay I'm getting established in my career but you like don't even know what you want to do as your career like you're still totally lost and I was trying to be supportive but I think I was just getting like impatient and kind of frustrated at times because I don't know I was just at a point where I was ready to like start settling down and he just wasn't there yet and I think I probably put unnecessary pressure on him that wasn't very helpful and then the pandemic happened he just got to a point where he was very depressed and I mean I can't even imagine like the pressure of that of because like I said I've been there I also struggled and like changed career paths and had my moments where I felt very lost and just didn't know what I wanted to do with my life so I get it but I can't imagine going through that and then also being with a partner that's like pressuring you to figure it out and then also going through a pandemic and you know all of the changes that were coming along with that and you know he had like family pressure and stuff too so I don't know I I've done a lot of self-reflection and self-work during the time that we were broken up and I definitely because at the time I think I was just immature too and you know I just was convinced that I'm never the problem it's always everybody else but now looking back I can understand where I contributed to like the problems that we ended up having in our relationship I don't know it was just kind of a tough time and then we had moved in together I think at that point there was already a lot of like resentment from both of us and we were just fighting a lot and he was just really depressed and struggling to find motivation and I felt like I was the one pulling all of the weight rather than being supportive like I should have been being more understanding I think I was just like making things worse by being kind of mean you know like we both are to blame for sure but it just it just got to a point where I felt like okay we really need a reset here because like I love you so much and I think that we are so good together and so compatible in so many ways but like we cannot continue with things the way that they are and like I don't see us getting out of this because like we would have a couple of good days but then something would happen that would like trigger an argument and then like all the resentment would come out and it's like all this stuff was just kind of built up and it was like okay this is not healthy and I just at the time wasn't really happy with my life in general like I just wasn't happy with where we were living like I was just so sick of being in that town because the time we were living in was the same town where I grew up most of my life and went to high school and all that and I had left a few times but kept coming back and I never wanted to settle there and it got to a point where I just felt like I'm going to get stuck here if I don't leave soon I am going to get stuck here and I can't keep doing this like this cycle of like me saying here I'm not happy waiting for someone else to like finally figure out what they want to do with their life so that we can then move on I felt like I was putting my life on hold waiting for someone else I kind of felt that way in my first serious relationship too and I was like I don't want to do this again like I need to stop I need to stop waiting for other people like I need to live my life for me you know and he needs to figure this stuff out on his own without me there breathing down his neck pressuring him because also like I don't want him to jump the gun and decide something just because I'm pressuring him and then not be happy and resent me later on and feel like he was only doing something for me because of me and I felt like by me staying there like I was resenting him because I felt like he was the only person keeping me there at that time so I moved to North Carolina this by the way Pennsylvania is where I was living where I am from originally so I moved to North Carolina by myself me and my dog and we decided that we were gonna just break up at that point but I think that we both kind of knew and were hoping that we would find our way back to each other at some point but there was no like promise or guarantee like that wasn't something that we were specifically planning on it was just kind of like well this is where we're at now we just need we need space for each other to figure things out and we can reevaluate at a later point and you know like I felt like I wasn't shutting the door completely I was I was closing it but like keeping it a little cracked and it was really rough because I missed him a lot but I also knew that like where he was at and the way we both were in that moment like we couldn't work it out like it just was not the right time so it was kind of bittersweet but I also I was excited I was okay I'm moving to a new place I can meet new people I'm gonna start dating I'm gonna see what's out there and like I'm just gonna let the universe take control and if I'm meant to meet someone else and be with someone else great if he is my person and I'm meant to end up with him great so I dated I got you know I downloaded all the dating apps I put myself out there and I met some guys that were really nice it just I just didn't feel right and then I met some guys that were just like it was very bad and I just felt like every time I would have a conversation with another male whether it was like a romantic flirtatious conversation or just completely platonic and casual like it just constantly made me think about my ex and I was comparing everything to him and it was just making me realize and I had wrote down a list because my therapist suggested write down a list of qualities that you're looking for in an ideal partner have like your deal breakers you're nice to have so I did that and I would go on these dates and I look okay some of these guys were like checking off all the boxes on paper I looked great on paper but I just wasn't into it like there was just not that chemistry there was not that feeling of like you get me and it just made me realize the connection I have with my at the time ex was so special and so hard to find it just made me miss him so much though like he would get this joke right now like this guy is looking at me like I'm nuts but meanwhile my ex would be like on the floor dying right now we kept in contact we were broken up for about two years almost two full years and throughout that time we still stayed in contact anytime I would go up to Pennsylvania to visit my family I would see him and every time it was kind of like oh okay maybe we'll get back together like maybe maybe things will work out but each time it was like okay we're not there yet we're not ready yet there's we still there's still work that needs to be done and uh I don't know so he saw other people I saw other people we just kind of we stayed in contact and we still like knew what was going on with each other's lives we still stayed friends but we weren't like you know talking every day or anything and we're just doing our own separate things living our own separate lives and he started going to therapy I was doing therapy a little bit here and there and talking it all out with friends and really starting to like pay more attention to how I treat people in my life and then eventually over time things just got better and we had a lot of talks like really long heavy conversations emotionally heavy conversations and we worked through all of the stuff from our past I finally felt like we were at a good point and he before I had moved away he had changed his major and the entire time that we were broken up he stuck to that and ended up discovering that like that is really what he's passionate about and he went from not really putting in a lot of effort to school like not being super motivated or passionate to finding what he really loves and he made the dean's list was getting amazing grades and I could just see like such a change in his overall like attitude and I definitely had an overall change in my attitude as well and it was just so good it's like we needed that time to be a part to work on ourselves as individuals and become our best versions of ourselves he's calling me right now we have such strong chemistry in so many ways like we like all the same things but then we are different in certain aspects where we kind of like balance each other out and kind of bring out the best in each other I think like the age difference just kind of threw things off a little bit and just like the point where we were both at in our lives I don't think that I was mature enough to be a good partner when we were dating and I mean they're still to this day like there's still stuff that like I'll say or I'll do and then we have conversations and I'm like why did I do that like that was just immature and dumb and stupid like I don't know but one thing that I really love about him too that I think is like so special and invaluable is he's always been such a good communicator and so open to like talking things out like if something upsets him he will communicate with me rather than just like getting mad and starting a fight or if I'm upset and I approach him about something like he's always willing to talk things through yeah so things we're working out we were at a point where we were talking every single day and we were talking about the possibility of getting back together or working on getting back together that's what we both wanted but you know it was a little nerve-wracking because I didn't know it's hard when you're not able to be together in person because I feel you can talk on the phone and things can seem fine but then when you're like actually together in person every day living together like doing life together that's when you face obstacles and then he came to visit me at the end of summer it was kind of like a test run to see like okay are we really there like did we really complete the work that we needed to do like are we at a point where we can get back together and it was a really good trip he was here for like two weeks I think and then a month or two later I went up to Pennsylvania and I stayed with him for about a week that's what I was a little worried about was like well being back in the house where we lived where our breakup happened where you had like there's just a lot of triggering things in that location and just like that town in general it's like being down here and going to the beach and doing all the stuff it's like we're kind of on vacation so it's easy to like be in La La Land kind of but me going up there was really like the true final test and it was just so good and it was such a relief because it was like finally all of like the good things all of the love that we have for each other is there like the resentment is gone like we worked through all of that so we've seen each other a couple more times since all of that and we decided a couple months ago to officially get back together and we're long distance right now which sucks but it's temporary he is finishing up he has his last like semester and a half of school then the plan is for him to move down here I'm very happy with where we're at in our relationship we've talked about the future and our plans and what we want and we're both completely on the same page and we've talked about everything like all of the possibilities and like well what if this happens what if that happens just to make sure that we both truly want the same things like I said I just left it up to fate and to the universe I didn't want to force anything one way or the other and this is just how things naturally worked out and I know people were asking if he is going to move into this apartment with me I don't know that's to be determined because who knows in a year from now if the rent goes up a lot like I don't know if I'm going to stay here for longer than this year and he's not going to be done with school till December so by the time he's down in school and moves down here the lease on this apartment is going to be up soon so I might stay here and he might live here with me we might move out and get a different place together I'm not really sure so that's why moving into this apartment if you've been watching my moving vlogs every step of the way like I've been on FaceTime with him getting his input but I'm kind of making it my place for now and then we'll just see once he comes down here what ends up happening what adjustments we need to make whatever but that is the story with that I obviously don't want to encourage anyone to get back into a relationship that's unhealthy or you know get back with a toxic partner because I truly think that sometimes when a relationship ends you miss your ex sometimes and you only focus on the good things you only remember the good times you forget about the problems you had and there's that comfort in that person that you were with especially if it was for a long time so you know it's easy to have feelings if you're like oh I want to get back with them and but sometimes that's not what's for the best if that's the case for you I don't want you to like look at my story and be like oh well she got back with her ex I'm gonna do the same but if it's a situation of like just bad timing or you know and you're both doing the work and there's effort from both sides to make the relationship work and it just feels like it's the right thing and like it's what's meant to be then I say go for it like relationships do require work because like for human beings like any even our friendships it requires effort and sometimes you'll have bumps along the way but that doesn't always necessarily mean that it's not the right thing sometimes it's right person wrong timing so yeah that is the tea about my boyfriend and our situation so let me know if you could relate to that at all and if you are just looking for someone to talk to you're kind of like struggling in a similar situation trying to figure out what you should do feel free to reach out to me or you know leave a comment and kind of get a community everybody can kind of weigh in with their experiences I hope that you guys enjoyed this video don't forget to check the link and discount code in the description for dossier I appreciate you watching and I'll see you really soon in my next video bye