Stephen Harper conquers Christmas stress with the help of his friend Rob Ford.
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'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, all the creatures were out
The house was prorogued so no work could be done
All the creatures were slacking, all except one
He stayed in his office from dawn until dusk
Brewing and stewing, absorbed in his musk
He's cooking up schemes to help out his pals
Leaving nothing but crumbs for the boys and the gals
Yet nobody knows this man is the reason
They tighten their belts every holiday season
With part time jobs paying minimum wages
They haven't been able to buy things in ages
Only a few have a clue about Stephen
The rest carry on with their ho-in' and heavin'
Meanwhile the rich are taking it easy
Tax breaks, bonuses, deals that are sleazy
Soon the man grew discouraged and tired
"If people find out, I fear I'll be fired...
I need something good that will help me unwind"
Said the man as he scratched his big ol behind
He called up his friend who he used to take fishing
"Hey buddy! I have a scratch that needs itching."
He hung up and waited and waited some more
Soon after, his friend stumbled through the front door
He huffed and he puffed and he lit up his pipe
"Here" squealed his friend "this will make things alright."
Instantly, things were exciting and clear
"To hell with the people, let's go get some beer!"
"Good idea, and what about ice cream cones?"
"I have more than enough to eat back at home."
No longer were they very sad or afraid
"Who cares what we do, as long as we're paid!"
The pair then returned to their powder collection
"Merry Christmas to all, see you fools next election!"