 It's very dark because it's only half past five in the morning and I'm awake. I know but it's maths exam day So I've got up. I've got up early. I don't have to be there till 10, but I'm probably gonna get there about half seven because I Don't know just need to be there so early. I need to find where my room is because I'm in room SCT 012 Which I think might be in the new side of the building And we've only ever been in the new side of the building in one room, which is number nine. So I'm guessing It's next to that So anyway, I forget they're for half seven. I've got all that time to figure it out Just nervous even though I'm excited for it because it's one thing out the way It's one step closer to being qualified and I've got faith and confidence that I'm gonna pass it I'm so nervous still Like I'll see you all later Just arrived at uni. It's 20 past seven. I'm two hours early. This is crazy. So I'm at uni. Here it is And I'm gonna just go and do some work and take my mind off the exam and Hopefully it's gonna be right So I was panicking because I didn't know where this room was because it's in the new building And we've only ever had one room in this building before but I found it That's where we're gonna be doing our exam And I've remembered my ID this time remember on my last poster presentation, I forgot my ID I've got my ID this time. I'm really excited now 20 to 6 now actually because I've done my face over here. So just need to get dressed for uni I just wanted to update you about the maths exam yesterday because I didn't have a chance yesterday I was so busy after Um, well as you seen from the videos. So the maths exam In the morning as you saw I was so nervous Even though I was confident and I thought do you know what I can do this because I've been doing the practice tests online And I've been I had 10 out of 10 on the practice test the night before So I felt confident I felt ready But it doesn't take away those nerves and you're always gonna be nervous when you go into an exam If you're watching this and you haven't done an exam at university, you're just going into university It's never I came I'm not gonna lie even though, you know And you feel prepared You're so nervous and there's such an atmosphere in the room and you're going and everyone's feeling nervous And everyone's sat there everyone's quiet everyone's talking absolute nonsense because they're so nervous And it was just anyway So afterwards I felt amazing I during the exam I sat down. I was so nervous that The first I read the first question I was panicking And I was like, oh my god. What's this question? I haven't done a question like this Why is it like this? Um, and it's only because I was so nervous and panicking That I was just reading it wrong and I just had to take myself away from the screen I just looked away took a deep breath said, you know what calm down because you're gonna make stupid mistakes Like you did last year on the maths exam just calm down And I just took some deep breaths and then I looked at it again and I was like, okay I know how to do this question now And then it was fine seven minutes is all it took me to do that drugs calculation exam There was 10 questions you get 30 minutes. I did it in seven. So then I come to the end and I was like, oh, I'm at the end What do I do now? Check my answers So I checked all of my answers about four times I was just going through and through checking it again checking it again and I think As long as I haven't been nervous and I haven't read anything wrong. I think I might have got them all right but I'm worried that I've made stupid mistakes because I haven't read a question right because I've been nervous Or I've put in millilitres and seven milligrams or do you know what? I mean something so small that I haven't picked up on because I've been nervous But I think looking at it. I've got 10 out of 10 But we've got to wait four weeks for the results now and it's going to be it's always the worst is waiting for your exam results So fingers crossed everybody for me. I've got a pass at least I need to get eight out of 10 to pass. I haven't told you that I need to get eight out 10 to pass And the next year for the next one we have to get nine out of 10 to pass So but just to reassure everybody out there these exams They aren't that bad And you'll get practice ones to do online before you do your exam and those practice ones are exactly like the exam So you don't have anything to worry about. You're well prepared at university. They will give it to you on a plate Okay, not give it to you on a plate But the the practice tests are exactly the same as the exam tests So there's no hidden surprises. You know what you're getting yourself into As long as you know the equation to work out drugs calculations, you're going to be fine And I might actually do a video. I'll do a video not this week. Maybe next week or Actually, no, I'll do one next week for you. Um I'll do one on just drug calculations maybe and just the way that I do it And It is going to be just simple layman's terms because that's how I understand things So maybe I'm hoping it's going to help someone And maybe I can just talk you through some of the questions that you might get in a drugs calculation And the equation that you need to work out and then hopefully you'll put your mind at ease I hope and this puts your mind at ease. It's going to be amazing Like I've got no worries about drugs calculations anymore and I am honest to god. I'm the worst at maths. I'm terrible I'm really really bad at maths. I got um, I got an e for maths in my gcse's. I am awful Trust me if I can do this you can do this. So please don't be scared And as long as you just know what you're doing know the equations you're fine. Honestly, don't panic I'm just walking into uni now and it's our last day the last taught sessions of second year I'm so I don't know whether I'm excited or nervous. I can't believe it's our last taught sessions of second year How's that even gone so fast? Um, but I'll let you know how it goes later So I'm home and before I show you the next clip. I just want to update you So this morning we got to university and we were told that we were going to get our poster presentation results today Instead of tomorrow. So then we were all really nervous about this We're all really anxious and just sat waiting checking the emails Over and over until we had the official email to say the results are up and then we were sat in tgi's having a lunch because it's our last day of uni and That's it. We had the email and this is what happened Results are in Okay, just going to log on now How do we log them again? You got this here What do you got? Why is it still loading? I thought I saw 40% and then I was like what? 60 no, that's not even okay This table At least we passed I think that's a really good grade and they think yeah, that's great 60. I mean, that's a good grade, right? But you know what to me my personal goals is not meeting my personal goals So to me, I'm not happy with that grade. I in my head. I thought we were going to get at least 70% for that So when I saw the 60% grade I was just like what? and Anyway, it's not what I wanted, but do you know what it's still a pass you only need 40% to pass so I'm really grateful that I'm still on this course It's one step closer to my end goal which is qualifying because we all want to be qualified and Not only that but this is only half of a whole mark Because the poster presentation and the assignment are joined together for one whole mark at the end So this is only 50% so even though we've got 60% The assignment's going to make up a big portion of that as well. So I worked out I need to get 90% for the assignment if I want a first for this module Am I going to get 90% for this assignment? I don't think I am. That's a really high grade. I'm a last assignment I got 75% and that was a good grade and I was happy with that grade But I just I don't think I'm going to get 90% there's not a chance Yeah, so Excuse this. I'm sorry Whether I post this or not, I don't know but I think I'm going to post it because you know sometimes it's not all Completely positive and sometimes you don't meet those goals And sometimes we have to sort of take a step back and think do you know what? It's okay It's okay that I've got 60% it's okay If I don't get a first I should be so happy that I've got 60% That's An amazing result and I should be happy with that So I need to just stop beating myself up so much about it Um and just be really grateful because Do you know what for other people like my friends they got 60% and I was like, you know what that's a great result And I was telling them I'm really happy for you. It's a great result. So why aren't I taking that? Why aren't I thinking do you know what 60% is good? It's a good grade the pass marks 40% I've got 20 more percent more than I've just to pass And I should be happy with that and I need to stop beating myself up about it. I need to just get over it And fingers crossed. I'll do well in the assignment. I don't I'm just gonna write this one off I think I'm not going to get a first for this module and then I've got the exam So if I do well in the next exam, I do well in the next module I should qualify second year with a first if I get my goal But you know what realistically do your grades count when you qualify? Not really Nobody's going to look at your grades when you're going for a job offer and say, oh, this one's got a first She's better than her because it doesn't make any difference having a first doesn't make you a better nurse So I need to remember that and I need to tell myself that But I am even for a first still But you know what Saying that I feel better now. I've had my little cry I've reflected through the vlog and I feel better. It's just took a load off of my mind And this is why I do vlogs as well is because it's nice because I'm kind of reflecting Rather than writing it down. I'm just I'm speaking about it. So I feel better now. I've said that I don't want anyone sympathy. I don't want any I don't want anyone sympathy. Please don't comment. I don't want any honestly. I promise I'm just I'm venting it out and letting you know and Yeah That's all I've got to say about that So that is it last day of lectures for second year is over Tomorrow apparently we get our placement allocations, which I'm going to do a live video for that too I say live when it posts. It's not going to be live But I'm going to take the video just like I did with my exam results To find out what my placements at and fingers crossed for tomorrow guys Please pray for me. I want a really good placement. So I've just had the Facebook notification that are that someone's oh my god I can't even speak someone's gone into Facebook and they've put on there that our placement allocations have just been released It's quarter past eight at night and I'm trying to log in and it's been really slow And what usually happens is the allocations gets released and then the whole system crashes because everyone's going on to the allocations And this is exactly what's happening So then gone It will just sit on this page loading So it might be a while so I'll be back Still waiting come on Look how slow It's crashed because everyone's got excited and is just trying to jump on the bloody I'll get on it at some point So finally got on the page. I'm on an adult surgical ward and I don't know what type of surgery because it doesn't say so I'm gonna have to look into it and find out So I've just woke up and it's half seven a.m. And it's my day off And last night as you saw I was waiting for my results. I finally got onto my results and I'm at trauma and orthopedics, so I'm quite excited about that because I have been on an orthopedic ward before and I've been into theaters before And I really enjoyed it. It is something I enjoyed. There's gonna be a lot of wound dressings. There's gonna be drains There's gonna be a lot of observations And it's gonna be really good. I'm really excited. I'm not excited for the 4 a.m. Start. That's right I have to get up at 4 a.m. Because of where I live and the traffic and things on the motorway I need to I need to leave early for this placement So I get up at 4. I'm out the house Usually at placement by half 6 6 a.m. Ready to start at 7 So I'm not looking forward to that because it is going to be a tough and I remember last year it was tough I'm going to be so emotionally drained mentally drained. I'm going to be physically drained and It's not going to be pretty Oh, you guys haven't seen me do a ward yet because I only started vlogging in december So you've only seen me on my gpu placement, which was amazing and I really loved that placement Um, so I get to talk to you all about ward life now. That's going to be really exciting for everyone I think I'm actually excited to do that for everybody. So and I just wanted to add I'm so sorry for having a little cry yesterday because I just I watched it back. I thought I need to watch this back and just decide whether I'm going to upload it or not And I look so ungrateful and I'm so sorry to anybody watching this and thinking how ungrateful you've got 60 percent when people are failing They've got 40 percent 50 percent And you should be happy with 60 percent and you're right. I'm fully say you're right I feel ashamed for getting upset because I've got 60 percent And I am chuffed. I'm happy that I've got 60 percent and it is a cheat a still an achievement to me So I just wanted to say that I'm really sorry that I got emotional over it and I am so grateful And you're right people do fail never to become a nurse and I'm so grateful to still be here I'm going to put it up because it's always nice to show a thing that not everything is positive Um, and not everything is happy go lucky You do get those stressful moments and you are going to have a little mini meltdown at some point through nursing Um, but you know what that's very rare and the positives and the benefits clearly outweigh the downs and Because it's very rare that I've had any problems on this course. So Just be mindful of that and when you see negative comments from people and saying how stressed they are and ask them about the good things Ask them. Okay. So what's going right and why are you still here if it's that bad? Because you know what it's not that bad They will be having a bad day. They'll vent about it because that's what we do We are the uk. We are english no offense to anybody. This is just my opinion But we moan we're a nation of moaners Which is why I wanted to create a nurse positivity around nursing because I love nursing and I'm happy in nursing But I just wanted to show the that we do all have mental breakdowns We do all have a cry. I'm the most positive person and I will have a cry every now and then But do you know what it's worth it and I would do this a hundred times over if I could Yeah, so anyway, that's it from me. All of you have a great weekend. It's going to be a beautiful one. I think And I'm not stressed anymore and Don't forget if you haven't watched our Collaboration episodes go back and have a look at it. I'll put the link below And tomorrow for you guys is going to be sunday. So tomorrow at 6 p.m We've got our last final episode of this collaboration and we're going to be talking about What all about nurses and paramedics and how we should collaborate together and how to work effectively and things like that So it's going to be a really good one. I think so tune in for that and I'll see you next week