 Colgate dental cream to clean your breath while you clean your teeth and help stop tooth decay and Luster cream shampoo for soft glamorous caressable hair bring you our miss Brooke starring Eve Arden Once again for another comedy episode of our miss Brooks under the direction of Al Lewis Well Madison High School instituted a course in automobile driving a short time ago and our miss Brooks who teaches English there was put in charge She's had over a week to get used to her additional duties, but she still isn't very happy about them And why should I be? Most of the students who enroll in the course take one lesson and then drive as if they're on the Indianapolis Speedway As a teacher, I've never minded marking my pupils, but I have a definite aversion to having them mark me Last Thursday at breakfast my landlady offered a few consoling remarks I know it's a lot of additional work Connie, but think of the satisfaction involved not just to you But to the entire profession you mean the medical profession No the teaching profession look what you're doing to help the traffic problem Well, I have eased the traffic problem a bit since I started teaching there at least ten fewer cars on the road It's not only traffic Connie your students learn courtesy to pedestrians too. Oh, you're right about that miss Davis That's one thing I absolutely insist on each of my pupils must take a half hour off to visit the hospital His particular pedestrian is in But you're doing a fine service and you should enjoy doing it I wonder how you'd enjoy teaching a student like stretch snot grass mrs. Davis Is it difficult for stretch to drive a car? It's difficult for stretch to spell car He almost got me into a real jam the other day We got into some heavy traffic and I asked him to let me have the wheel How did that get you into a jam? He took it off and handed it to I'll get used to it. I suppose. Oh, of course you will now you finish eating Connie I've got some chores to do out in the kitchen want any more of anything. No, thanks There are still some slices of French toast left over. I hate to see them wasted That's Walter Denton. They won't be wasted The latch is off. We were about to die salute you I Acknowledged what do you want with your French toast sugar or jam? Oh, didn't you hear me miss Brooks? I am the bearer of extremely tragic tidings. I'm sure they can wait until you've had a little breakfast now sit down All right, but I had one breakfast at home And then I just stopped by Harriet Conklin's house and she insists that I have another breakfast with her Oh, I see, so I'll just eat a couple of these plain I Don't try to talk while you're eating. I don't want to hear a word out of you until you're all finished. So be it It's like this miss Brooks Brooks I am the manager of the Madison High School Orchestra And as you also know, this is the weekend of the big music festival at O'Cursed We're in high school bands from all over the state compete for a silver cup go on now I'm well aware of the fact that you have your own problems miss Brooks But you've always been interested in mine in the past and it is my fond hope that you continue to be interested in them especially this one Are you interested miss Brooks? I'm so interested it frightens me Please get to the point a little more rapidly Walter Okay, the point is our beloved principal old marble head Conklin I mean mr. Conklin he insists on going on this trip and playing his tuba with the band Mr. Conklin wants to play you with a band. Yes, ma'am I've stood for many things from that man, but his tuba is just too much for me to swallow Especially after three breakfast I didn't think faculty members were eligible to play in the band Well, they're not but he thinks he can get by on a technicality You see Jason Brill the principal of Clay City High got special permission last year to do a violin solo with their band And mr. Conklin feels it anything mr. Brill can do with his violin. He can do with his tuba I'd like to hear him try flight of the bumblebee It's no laughing matter miss Brooks. He's sneaked in the band practice so often lately that they're practically ruined Unless they get to practice by themselves in ochre's our chances for winning are sub nil That's about as poor as chances can get is the band going up to ochre staff to school today Yes, ma'am, and you've got to see that they go without mr. Conklin and his 39 pounds of stale plumbing By me Walter because someone very near and dear to your heart has the interest of the band very near and dear to his heart You mean none other Since when is mr. Boynton so interested in music? Well since he bet mr. DeWitt my history teacher that Madison would win the band contest, but mr. Boynton doesn't bet He's opposed to gambling. He won't take a chance on anything more as the pity Just a new hat mr. Boynton doesn't wear hats walder the hat isn't for him It's for you. He wants you to have it for Christmas Of course, I just happen to be eavesdropping at the proper time. This is all a big surprise Yes, it is wasn't it See the band win the contest to walder had or no hat mr. Boynton or no mr. Boynton Let's not go overboard But what I'm trying to say walder is this how can we keep mr. Conklin from playing an ochre's with the band? There's only one way miss Brooks by sabotaging his tuba. That's a very hard instrument to replace After all tubas don't grow on trees. It's a good thing. They don't Isaac Newton had been hit by a tuba instead of an apple. We wouldn't have any gravity today Brooks going into daddy's office. Yes, Harriet. What kind of a mood is he in very good for daddy? Practicing on his tuba. I just came out of his office with that wind behind you. I'll bet you came out faster than you went in Daddy got a new teacher last week. He's really working at it this time Who's he taking lessons from Jack Benny as close as I can recall his teacher's name is pandarvis team Marley bone That's close enough Brooks I know that daddy wants to play with our band in the contest But confidentially I don't think he'll help their chances any so if you can think of any way I've been all through this with walter dentin Harriet now if you'll excuse me I have a very important date a date. Yes with 39 pounds of stale plumbing Let me know how you come out stick around you might have to catch me I Know you're practicing. Mr. Conklin, and I don't like to disturb you. That's very considerate miss Brooks. Good day But I couldn't help stopping by to wish you luck with the band contest well Thank You miss Brooks. What selection have you chosen for your solo? I thought I'd try something a little out of the ordinary for my particular instrument The flight of the bumblebee You think that would be effective. Oh, yes, sir. That should really knock him deaf a day Mr. Conklin if I keep very quiet, would you mind letting me stand here and listen to you practice There's time before my class begins I didn't know you were so interested in music miss Brooks. Oh, yes, indeed and the tuba is my favorite instrument Really since when since I first heard you play one I'll never forget that day. Mr. Conklin. It was about six weeks ago I passed by the music room and you were playing the beautiful blue danube How can you remember so clearly the rest of the band was playing kiss me again That is they soon realized their mistake and you all played beautifully together So much so mr. Conklin that lately I've been thinking of taking up the tuba again Uh again? Yes, sir. I took several lessons on it when I was a little girl But isn't a tuba an awfully heavy instrument for a little girl? That's what my mother thought So I took the lessons on a piccolo I never did get anywhere though. I guess there just wasn't any incentive But now that I have a virtuoso right in the same school Well, would you give me a few pointers mr. Conklin? Well miss Brooks, I I'll have a friend who played the tuba with the fill harmonic. I could ask him I suppose but I figure why take lead when you can get platinum Oh, you're so right What would you like to know my dear? Well, I'm afraid we'll have to start with the fundamentals. It's been months since I was a little girl The tuba maestro Here I'll show you just take it in your left arm like this not quite hold it more as if it were a baby There have you got it? Have you got a firm grip on it? No, sir Oh dear, I've ruined your wonderful tuba. Let's see it. Let's see. Oh, thank goodness. There's no damage done. None whatsoever I guess I was pressing Please mr. Conklin could I take another crack at it? I mean Would you show me the proper way to hold it? I've told you miss Brooks hold it like you would a baby like this Yes, yes only not so high and you've got to have such a much firmer much. Okay careful miss Brooks If that's how you'd hold a baby, it's a good thing. You're not a nurse Is your beautiful tuba ruined this time? Yes, miss Brooks. It is there's a big crack in the bell and the mouthpiece is jammed into the horn It'll take a week to repair it. Oh, then you won't be able to play in the contest tomorrow Oh, yes, I will I can borrow a tuba from a friend of mine in ochre Fortunately, his instrument is out of your reach 450 miles from here. I'm terribly sorry, mr. Conklin Darn these short arms Brush your teeth with cold gates Cold-gate dental cream it clean your breath water toothpaste While it cleans your teeth cold-gate toothpaste cleans your breath water toothpaste while it cleans your teeth Cold-gate dental cream cleans your breath while it cleans your teeth And the cold-gate way stops tooth decay best more than two years research Showed the cold-gate way of brushing teeth right after eating helped stop more decay for more people than ever before reported in dentiferous history. Yes, the Colgate way stopped tooth decay best. Better than any other home method of oral hygiene. No other dentiferous, ammoniated or not, has proof of such results. And you should know that Colgates, while not mentioned by name, was the one and only toothpaste used in the research on tooth decay recently reported in Reader's Digest. So always follow the Colgate way to clean your breath while you clean your teeth and stop tooth decay best. Brush your teeth with Colgate Colgate dental cream and clean your breath. Water toothpaste. And the Colgate way stops tooth decay best. Well by the time I met Mr. Boynton in the cafeteria for lunch I still hadn't thought of a way to keep Mr. Conklin from playing with the band. Just before I went up to get my dessert I told Mr. Boynton of my dilemma hoping he might be able to help. As always he paid rapt attention to what I was saying then came up with a brilliant suggestion. Why not try the cherry pie today Ms. Brooks? Either you haven't been listening or I've been talking through my lima beans. What I'm trying to say Mr. Boynton is that so far Mr. Conklin is still going to perpetrate his tuba with the school band. There must be something we can do to stop him. This means quite a bit to me personally. Really? In what way Mr. Boynton? Well I'm I'm unalterably opposed to gambling as you know but in this instance I did make a small wager with Mr. DeWitt that our school would win the old curse contest. A wager? You didn't. It's just the price of a new hat. Oh what a cute idea. How much does the better amount to in cash? Oh it isn't important really just the thought behind it that counts. That's very true but just for kicks how much money is it staying? Well $2. Seems like enough. I can surely get a one propeller job for that. But to get back to Mr. Conklin Walter told me in class that the band was going up in individual cars. And Mr. Conklin's going in one of them? No, Walter's seen to it that each car is completely filled with students and instruments. There's just no room for Mr. Conklin. Well that's promising. His own car was pretty badly banged up last week wasn't it? Yes but it's in the school auto shop and should be ready today. Should it? Yes it shouldn't. You might have an idea there Mr. Boynton. Who's been working on his car most Brooks? Probably someone very competent but Stretch Snodgrass also spends a lot of time in the shop. And Stretch Snodgrass isn't the most brilliant student at school is he? No Stretch Snodgrass isn't the most brilliant student at school. Stretch Snodgrass may not be the most brilliant but he's sure loaded with charm. Well just the fellow we wanted to see pull up a chair Stretch. Yes take this chair right here. In a minute I ain't yet yet. Please Stretch I haven't eaten yet. Well you're on a diet I ain't. Gosh I can't decide what to take today. I'm in a real mental quarry. Please one marble head in school is enough. What's the reason for your quandary stretch? I can't decide whether to take the chicken alla king the lamb stew or the meatloaf. Why don't you wait till tomorrow and take the corned beef hash then you'll get all three. Say that's a swell idea. Wait till tomorrow and get all three. Boy you sure got plenty brains up there in your chromium. My chromium? You know your gray matter. I bet you've got some twisty curves in your cerebellum. I guess my saras as curvy as the next one. But Stretch what we wanted to ask you about was Mr. Conklin's car. Yes is it all ready to roll? Sure what do you want me to roll it? This boy is psychic. Now we've got to be careful. Now when Mr. Conklin lets us use his car for Madison's new driving class last week it got pretty badly banged up didn't it Stretch? But now that it's all fixed it could be used to give one more lesson couldn't it? And what better pupil could we have to take the lesson than Stretch? I'll meet you out front in ten minutes. Not so fast Miss Brooks first I gotta eat. Of course you do and I want you to eat a nice leisurely meal Stretch but there's one thing I want to tell you before you bolt down a sandwich. When you go to the garage to get the car be sure and back it out carefully. Okay Miss Brooks I'll see you in front of the school in about ten minutes. Now be sure and back it out of the garage Stretch. I will. Well Miss Brooks if you're meeting Stretch in ten minutes you better get your dessert. Oh there's no hurry Mr. Boyden. I don't think I'll have to give Stretch a lesson if he obeys instructions. What do you mean? You heard me tell him to back the car out of the garage didn't you? Yes. Well after the accident the other day I backed it in. Miss Brooks, Mr. Boyden I don't like to disturb your lunch but I got to talk to you. We're all finished Walter what is it? Well I just came from the school garage. Mr. Conklin's been in to look at his car. How did he find it? He just scraped the back wall with a pen knife and there it was. Stretch's not grass did something horrible again. Good old Stretch. Now Mr. Conklin won't be able to drive up for the band contest. That's what you think. He's going on the 6 p.m. train. He'll be there first thing in the morning. But that'll be disastrous. If he gets to practice with the band we're sunk. Don't I know it? Miss Brooks we've got to put our heads together. You're right Mr. Boyden. Goodbye Walter. Miss Brooks you've got to concentrate on the immediate problem. Your long-range aims can wait. You've got to keep Mr. Conklin from making that train. Yes but how? Well I don't know. All I know is he says he never sleeps very well on trains so he's going home right after school and take a nap. A nap? Wait a minute I think I've got something. Come closer Mr. Boyden. Yes Miss Brooks. Still closer. Like this? Goodbye Walter. Here's the idea. If he's going to take a nap maybe we can set the clocks back in his house so that when he wakes up he'll think it's much earlier and miss the train. But is that the only train to Oakhurst today? Definitely. Oh what an idea. Miss Brooks I'd give a hundred dollars for the right to X-ray the remarkable gray matter in your cranial cavity. Why Walter what a lovely thing to say about the cerebellum in my chromium. He's asleep Walter. Daddy's fast asleep on the couch. I don't know how he can sleep with all that noise he's making. I sure hate to be your mother. I wouldn't like that arrangement either. Now you set back that clock over there and I'll take care of this one on the mantel. Okay let's see it's 10 after 5 now I'll just set it back an hour. I'll do the same with this one then we'll take care of the clocks upstairs and in the kitchen. Jack oh did you leave the front door open for miss Brooks? She's coming over to help divert your daddy's attention until train time. It's open Walter now you take the library clock and I'll go to the bedroom. This way stretch. Mr. Conklin's asleep on the couch. Good may you want me to set this clock back an hour right? Right I'll set this one back on the mantel. This sounds like an angry sea lion. I think he's waking up. I thought it was a car backfiring. I better get out of here. Mr. Conklin and me aren't on terms. Miss Brooks it's not grass. Oh don't don't get up Mr. Conklin just lie there and relax. We'll all pull up chairs and chat with you for a while. Chat with me but why? It's not grass. There's something I'd like to ask you. I thought there might be. Did you have anything to do with wrecking my car this afternoon? I'd rather not answer that question sir. Why not? Because my parents brought me up not to be no liar. Well I gotta go to football practice now. Goodbye Miss Brooks. See you soon Mr. Conklin I guess. It's just as well he left. I shouldn't upset my temperament before the band concert. By the way it must be getting toward train time. Oh no you've got loads of time Mr. Conklin. Oh what time is it? It's 3.15. See by that clock over there? 3.15. That's peculiar. What's peculiar? As I recall I didn't lie down until 3.30. Well you know how swiftly time passes when you're sleeping. It might pass swiftly but it doesn't pass backwards. Look outside it's almost dark. Oh hadn't you heard? There's an eclipse of the sun today. Hi Miss Brooks. Hello Miss Brooks. I hope you didn't wake up old marble head. What time do you have Harriet? Oh you've got plenty of time daddy. It's only 4.15. 4.15 but Miss Brooks says it's 3.15. That's a democracy for you. Everyone's entitled to his own time. Now see here I've got to know just where I stand with that train. It's 4.15 Mr. Conklin. That's what the time is actually. Then why did you keep insisting that it was 3.15? Once I've had a taste of daylight saving I'm a very hard loser. Excuse me but the door was open so I just... Oh come in come in boy and come in. Will you please tell me what time it is? Or certainly sir it's 4.15. No it's 5.30. Well that's what makes horse races. 5.30? Then I have no minute to lose it's a half hour drive to the station from here. Fortunately I'm all packed. Hand me that for least somebody. Here you are Mr. Conklin. Oh I'm sorry sir did it catch your toes? Just a few of them Mr. Conklin. No I've got to get out of here. Boynton did you drive over here? Yes sir but my car... It's too late for me to call a cab now will you drive me? Me? Well I'd like to sir but I've got a very important engagement in two minutes it's vital sir and I... Would you like me to drive you? Miss Brooks I can only answer that query by remarking that there is nothing more useless than a dead tuber player. If you don't mind Boynton I'll borrow your car and drive myself to the station. Well I I guess that'll be all right Mr. Conklin. It's parked right in front of the house. Thank you. Goodbye everyone. Goodbye Daddy. Bye Mr. Conklin. There's one more favor I'd like to ask of you Boynton. Yes Mr. Conklin. May I borrow the keys? Here you are sir. Thank you. Mr. Boynton how could you do this to us and to yourself? Mr. Conklin will make that train to Oakhurst easily now. No he won't miss Brooks. The reason I came over here this afternoon was to borrow a few dollars. What for? For gasoline. I've just enough gas in my car to take it another eight blocks. Mr. Boynton I could kiss you. So could I. Back away children he's been spoken for. Brooks returns in just a moment but first tonight yes tonight show him how much lovelier your hair can look after a luster cream shampoo. Luster cream world's finest shampoo. No other shampoo in the world gives you K. Dumas magic blend of secret ingredients plus gentle lanolin. Better than a soap better than a liquid luster cream is a dainty cream shampoo. Leaves hair three ways lovelier. Fragrantly clean. Free of loose dandruff. Blissening with sheen. Soft. Manageable. Even in hardest water luster cream lathers instantly. So gentle luster cream is wonderful even for children's hair. Tonight? Yes tonight try luster cream shampoo. And now once again here is our Miss Brooks. Well by dinner time Mr. Conklin hadn't returned and we assumed that Mr. Boynton's car had run out of gas and Mr. Conklin had run out of time and missed the train to Oakhurst. But the next morning at breakfast the phone rang and Mrs. Davis answered. Yes just a minute. Connie it's for you. It's a message from Oakhurst. Hello this is Connie Brooks. What's the message please? Yes but what are you going to do for a non-core? This is Byrne Smith reminding you to tune in next week to another Our Miss Brooks show brought to you by Luster Cream Shampoo for soft glamorous caressable hair and cold gait dental cream to clean your breath while you clean your teeth and help stop tooth decay. Our Miss Brooks starring Eve Arden is produced by Larry Burns written by Al Lewis with music by Wilbur Hatch. Doctors prove palm olive soap can bring you a lovely a complexion in 14 days. Yes 36 leading skin specialists proved in tests on 1285 different women that palm olive soap facials using nothing but palm olive brought new complexion beauty to two women out of three. Just wash your face three times daily with palm olive soap each time for 60 seconds massaging palm olives beauty lather onto your skin then rinse and pat dry so start your palm olive facials today remember doctors prove palm olive soap can bring you a lovely a complexion in 14 days. If you like mysteries that are as full of chuckles as chills be sure to hear Mr. and Mrs. North every Tuesday over this same network. Don't miss the exciting and laughable adventures of these amateur detectives. Hear Mr. and Mrs. North every Tuesday night and be with us again next week at this same time for another comedy episode of our Miss Brooks. Bob LeMond speaking. Stay tuned now for Jack Benny. This is CBS The Columbia Broadcasting System.