 The Jack Benny program. Lucky Strike means fine tobacco. So round. So firm. So Fully-Packed. So free and easy on the draw. LS. MFT. LS MFT. LS MFT. Of course! Right you are. Lucky Strike means fine tobacco. So round. So firm. So Fully-Packed. So free and easy on the draw. Draw. For real deep down smoking enjoyment, you want a cigarette made of fine tobacco. For certainly, it takes fine tobacco to make a fine cigarette. And lucky strike means fine tobacco. Yes, first, last, and always. Lucky strike means fine tobacco. So round, so firm, so fully packed, so free and easy on the draw. At forty, a-a-a-a-a-de-de-de-de-de-de-de. So for real deep down smoking enjoyment smoke that smoke of fine tobacco lucky strike lucky strike program starring Jack Benny with Mary Livingston Phil Harris Rochester Larry Stephens and your truly Don Wilson ladies and gentlemen last Thursday was Thanksgiving. So let's turn back the clock and show you how Jack Benny and his gang spent the day. Our scene opens in Jack's home in Beverly Hills and at the moment Rochester is straightening up the house. Night and day Thanksgiving comes and goes but I've never done. Rochester. I'm working all the time. I'm nothing but a one man assembly line. Night and day. Rochester. You're always singing, always singing. Well I'm happy, boss. Here it is Thanksgiving and I'm glad I wasn't born a turkey. Oh, you wouldn't like that, huh? No, I couldn't stand being in an oven all undressed and people peeping in and out. Rochester, stop being so silly. You know I'm going to Miss Livingston's house for a Thanksgiving party so help me get dressed. Okay, boss, but if I were you I'd change my mind about wearing that old tuxedo. Why? What'd you do to it? Oh, it's nothing I did, boss, but when I went to get it the closet was full of moths. Moths? Oh my goodness, were they eating my tuxedo? Eating it? They didn't even look up when I came in. Well maybe it won't show. What part did they eat? Well, put it geographically, the South ain't solid anymore. Oh, it can't be that bad. Now go get my dress shoes. I ain't going back in that closet again. They warned me. Warned you? Those moths are tough. What? Like a bazooka and squirt ink in my face. Squirt an ink in your face? You'll have to take my word for it, boss. Rochester, why is it that every time I get dressed I have to go through all of... Come in! Remember me. I'm William and Peabody at the insurance salesman. Oh, hello. Hello, Herman. I just dropped by to wish you happy Thanksgiving. Well, thanks. Thanks, Herman. Come on in. I'd like to, but this leash won't reach any farther. Oh, you've got your dog with you? Oh, my turkey. I'm taking it out for a walk. Herman, you're taking your turkey out for a walk on Thanksgiving? It was his last request. On the way over here, I put the turkey on a penny weighing machine and a little card came out. What did it say? It said, you weigh 32 pounds, have good character, make friends easily, but you have a tendency to lose your head. Now, wait a minute, Herman. Have you been celebrating Thanksgiving? Uh-huh. I thought so. Well, goodbye, Herman. Have a nice dinner. Goodbye, Mr. Benny. Come on, Dolores. A peculiar sort of a fella. Here, Rochester, before I put my coat on, you better fix my bow tie. Yes, sir. Lift your chin up a little. Someday I'm going to learn how to tie a bow myself, and I won't... Rochester, don't just stand there holding it. Tie it. I'm waiting for your Adam's apple to clear the runway. Rochester, this is no time for jokes, so hurry up with my bow tie. Yes, sir. Wait a minute. Tie it below my Adam's apple. But boss, last time you went to a party, I tied it above your Adam's apple. I know. Every time I swallowed, I pulled my shirt tail out. So this time, tie it... There's the phone. I'll get it. Mr. Benny. Rochester, just answer the phone and don't... Hello, Rochester. This is Miss Livingston. Is Mr. Benny there? Yes, Miss Livingston. Just a minute. This is for you, boss. It's taking you so long. Everybody's here but you. Well, Mary, I've got a little surprise for you. I'm going to dress formal tonight. Formal? Yes. What are you going to do? Wear your black toupee? No, I'm wearing my tuxedo. Oh, Jack, that faded old thing. It's so green and splotchy. It is not. It is, too. The last time you wore it, you looked like a Jack sniper. I'm going to wear it anyway, and I'll be over in a few minutes. Okay, goodbye. Goodbye. Oh, Jack. Yeah? I hate to ask you this, but, well, I've worked hard making this dinner for the whole gang, so I thought maybe you'd stop over at the florist and bring me some flowers. Okay, Mary. I'll bring you a half a dozen roses. Only a half a dozen? But, Jack, they don't cost much. Well, no, the roses alone don't, Mary, but you're going to the expense of the entire dinner. Why should you spend any more? After all, you're doing enough. Jack, I meant for you to buy the roses. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Well, Mary, you didn't have to beat around the bush. Why didn't you come right out and say so? Of course I'll bring them. Goodbye. Goodbye. Of all the cheap guys I ever... What did you say, Mary? This isn't Mary. This is the operator. Well, you're not supposed to be listening in. Smart alec operator. Oh, say, Roxas, I think it would be a good idea if you came along with me. Miss Livingston might need some more help. I'd like you, but you know every Thanksgiving I go to a party on Central Avenue. Oh, yes, that's right. We fill up on plum pudding and brandy sauce. Say, that sounds good. Plum pudding and brandy sauce. Yes, sir. And this year is going to be better than ever. Why? We couldn't get any plum pudding. Oh, well, you go right ahead, Rochester, and have a good time. I've had me running along, too. How do I look? Am I okay? You look neat, boss, but do you have to wear all those elf sleeves at the same time? Certainly, Rochester. I belong to eight different lodges. Anyway, what's wrong with it? Nothing, but you've got the only best in town that smiles at you. Well, you know me. I always like to put up a happy front. So long, Rochester. So long, Miss. Well, wasn't it, Mary? Phil, I don't mind your band being here, but your boys have got a lot of nerve. Pretty one of my best dishes on the piano for an ashtray. That ain't no ashtray. That's for tips. Kill, Miss Livingston. Now, take it easy, fellas. We'll eat as soon as Jack gets here. Meanwhile, let's have some fun. Okay, let's have some more music. Hit it, George. Hey, wait a minute, Phil. Can I play the drums? Sure. Go ahead. Beat it out, Don. Come on, George. Hit it out there. Play it, Don. Oh, yes! Drop in the kitchen and see how my new maid is doing. Okay, Mary. Hurry back, huh? I will. Mr. Benny gets here. We'll have dinner. Yes, ma'am. I'll put the turkey on the serving tray, and you go in the dining room and set the table. Oh, I've already done that, Miss Livingston, and I hope you like it. I put the butter right in the center, and around it I put the salt shakers. You put the salt shakers around the butter? And around the salt shakers, I put the pepper shakers. And around the pepper shakers, I put the cream pitches. And around the cream pitches, I put the sugar bowls. Well, Pauline, why did you do all that? Well, we can't stop them from using the butter, but I figured we can slow them down a little. I love you, Pauline, but I'll rearrange the table letter later. Yes, ma'am. Right now, you better help me. I've been having trouble with the cranberry sauce. What's the matter? Can't you get the berries to cram? Cranberries? You mashed them. Gee, I'm sorry, Miss Livingston. I don't know much about cooking, but if I did, it would probably help me to get a boyfriend who's interested in marriage. Like my girlfriend, who wanted to get married, so she went to school to learn how to cook. Then after she learned how to cook, she met the cutest fella, and they were married. And after they were married, she found out he was a chef, so he doesn't make any difference, does he? Yes, it doesn't. Anyway, let's... Oh, say, Mary, I just thought about something. Just a minute, Phil, I'm talking to my maid. Well, get a load of them legs. Phil! I'm looking at the turkey. Livy, when the food's already, let me know and I'll help you serve it. Thanks, but it won't be necessary, Phil. I've hired a butler for the day. Okay. I'd sure love to see that turkey in a bathing suit. Phil, get out of here. Say, he's cute, isn't he? Yeah. Now, Pauline, you mash the potatoes while I get the ice. You've got to... Oh, there's the door. Oh, that's all right, Pauline. I'll get it. I can't give you anything but love, baby. That's the only thing... Oh, hello, Jack. Come on in. Hello, Mary. So nice. I thought I'd walk over. Isn't it a bright, sunny day? Yeah. Here, I'll take your parasol. Thanks, and help me off with my overcoat, will you? Okay. Now, hand me your hat. Here. And here's my muffler. And my gloves. Now, hold my coat while I take off my sweater, will you? Okay. There you are. Do you want a refill on your hot water bottle? You can kid if you want to, but this is the season for colds. You know, Mary, funny thing just happened is, many times I've been over here, today I walked right by your house and had to come back. I don't doubt it. Once you get all those clothes moving, it's hard to stop her. Is everybody here? Sure, they're in their living room. Let's go in. Okay. Hey, Jack, how about the flowers? They said they'd send them over. They'll probably be here pretty soon. Hi, you fellas! Hi, you Jackson! Hi, Mr. Betty. So who do you think I ran into last night? Who, well? Your old girlfriend, Gladys Savisco. Really? How is Gladys? Oh, fine, and you know, Jackson, she looks a lot better. She had an operation on her nose. Her nose? Why, her nose was straight. What did she have done? She had it moved to the middle of her face. Oh, we're waiting. How about singing us a song? Yeah, come on, Larry. How about it? Sure, kid. Go ahead, will ya? Okay. Oh, there's the door. I'll get it, Mary. Hold the song till I come back. Will ya, kid? Yum-pum-pum-pum. Tee-dum-tum-tum-tum. Tee-dum-tum-tum. Sweet Georgia Brown. Yum-pum-tum-tum. Tee-dum-tum-tum. Tee-dum-tum-tum-tum. Tee-dum-tum-tum. Tee-dum-tum-tum. Sweet Georgia Brown. Yum-pum-tum-tum. Tee-dum-tum-tum. Tee-dum-tum-tum. Tee-dum-tum-tum. Yes? How do you do? Is this Miss Livingston's residence? Yes, yes, it is. Well, Miss Livingston is expecting me for Thanksgiving dinner. Oh, oh, well, come right in. You got here just in time. The fun's just starting. Oh, nice. Now, let me take your hat. Thank you. Your coat? Thank you. Now, follow me. Hey, kids! Oh, pardon me. Pardon me. I didn't introduce myself. I'm Jack Benny. How do you do? I'm the new butler. Hey, kids! What? Yes. Are you the downstairs man? Yes, dear. If you're the butler, the kitchen's right through that door. Thank you, sir. Hmm. Is that at the door? Nobody. Well, who's H- Well, who's H- Well, who's H- Well, who's H- Well, who's H- Well, who's H- Well, who's H- Well, who's H- Well, who's H- Well, who's H- Well, who's H- Well, who's H- Well, who's H- Well, who's H- Well, who's H- Well, who's H- Well, who's H- Well, who's H- Well, who's H- Well, who's H- Well, who's H- Well, who's H- Well, who's H- Hey, get your hands out of there, Jackson. That's for the boys! Cards and everything. How did Phil know where to sit down? He can't read. I put his picture on the plate. That's the fault, Jackson. You've got people thinking I can't read. Oh, yeah? Well, let me see you write your name. Don't change the subject. I'm talking about re- OK, OK. Boy, get the size of it. You know jack that's a bigger one than we had at your house last Thanksgiving. Oh, I don't know my turkey was pretty big Go on. I've seen more meat on Sinatra You want white meat or dark meat white meat, please don. I'll have some dark meat. Hey, Mary. Did you stuff this turkey yourself? Yes, why well, it's so round so firm so fully packed You're so sponsored anus and you haven't had a drink all day Doesn't apply to turkeys that's lucky strike cigarette. I know I know hey kids pass the sauce the sauce Yes, with men who know Tabasco best. I'll take it two-to-one Children you're making progress Brother now fail thing is with men who know the back of best. It's lucky to the one Don Phil's only kidding Can't you see we've got lucky strike cigarettes on the table. Well, then let's hurry up with the dinner and get Adam All right. All right. Oh Miss Livingston. Shall I serve the hot biscuits now? Yes, Carl? Very well, madam there Closer to the table. I've been watching these people eat and I don't want to get any on me Man with the carving knife scares me to death Why is aren't fooling me a bit? Tuxedo is better than yours Food not to antagonize the guest. Yes, madam. Hey Jack. Now about making a speech. Come on Come on make a speech for me something. This is the first time. We've all had dinner together in a long time Okay Well kids It sure nice for all of us to be gathered here on Thanksgiving. I Know that during the year we've had our little differences and a few arguments But this is a day to forget all that and cement our friendship so that it's stronger than ever here Thank you And now just forget our little differences, but Jack we've never had any real argument of course not Jackson Oh, I was just thinking about little things like last week when Don and I had that argument about what naval hero said Don't give up the ship now Don found out he was wrong, and I'm not gonna rub it in it's all over So if we'll just wait a minute Jack. I wasn't wrong So if we'll just it was Captain James Lawrence who said don't give up the ship No, no, no don it was John Paul Jones. So if I still insist you're wrong Captain James Lawrence don't listen. You can argue till you're blue in the face It was John Paul Jones, and I'm going to prove it Jack put down that carving knife Oh, pardon me Beast say Jackson wasn't he on our program about five weeks ago. That was John Charles Tom I word for it. I know what I'm talking about. So do I it was Captain James Lawrence It was John Paul Jones. Oh for heaven's sake cut it out Carl serve the dessert. Will you please I will if those two gentlemen don't get off the table Oh, that's white meat. That's my leg Think it's awful for you to come here on Thanksgiving Accept Mary's hospitality and start a big argument like this I didn't start the argument you did and any schoolboy knows that Captain James Lawrence said don't give up the ship Well, every schoolboy knows that it was John Paul Jones, and you're just being stubborn about it That's all for goodness sake finish the speech you started. I'll do it if everybody else shut up Now as I was saying Thanksgiving Day in a spirit of friendship a word that in itself represents that binding tie between all people Let's try friends. Let's try to keep the feeling that is so prevalent on this day throughout the entire year So whenever you feel this courage, just think of those famous words of John Paul Jones We'll be back in just a minute but first here are my good friends la speed riggs and Kenneth Del Mar Bumble If you were present at the auctions Down South you could see lucky strike Consistently select and by the finer the lighter the naturally milder lucky strike tobacco Yes lucky strike means fine tobacco. And in a cigarette. It's the tobacco that counts Remember that the next time you buy cigarettes lucky strike means fine tobacco So round so firm so fully packed So free and easy on the draw The famous tobacco auctioneers are on tonight's programmer, Mr. L.A. Speedrigs of Goldsboro, North Carolina. And Mr. F.E. Boone of Lexington, Kentucky. And this is Basil Riesdale speaking for Lucky Strike. L.S. M.F.T. L.S. M.F.T. L.S. M.F.T. A friendly suggestion for your own greater enjoyment. Smoke that smoke of fine tobacco, Lucky Strike. So round, so firm, so fully packed, so free and easy on the draw. Hey, Mary. Mary, I enjoy your Thanksgiving dinner very much, but I wish Don wouldn't be so stubborn. After all, when a man's wrong, why doesn't he give in? But Jack Don is right. It wasn't John Paul Jones. It was Captain James Lawrence who said, don't give up the ship. Mary, Captain James Lawrence said, I do not choose to run. He did not. Then who said it? What a Crosby's horse. Off right. Well, I'm not going to argue. I got to go over to Joey Brown's program and congratulate him on his 44th anniversary. I don't have to. I want to go. I mean, there's the door. I can't give you anything but love, baby. Flowers for Miss Livingston. Flowers? Oh, yes, Mary. Don't you remember I stopped off at the florist? Oh, yes. Well, boy, what took you so long? Why didn't you bring the flowers sooner? I couldn't. Mr. Benny only ordered the seeds. I wanted them to be nice and fresh. 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