 They're depraved affair. Destroyed everyone. Now, it's my turn." The most disturbing cheating revenge story on Reddit. Imagine discovering the unspeakable. Your wife, the one you trusted most, having an affair with her own, blood relative. As the eerie truth comes out, so does an email with the title. Yummy. Warping OP into realizing that his marriage was nothing but a facade, a cover-up for an incestuous affair lasting over a decade. Add in multiple divorces, destructive pictures, gut-wrenching confessions and more affairs. She didn't only cheat around, but she found out. And so will you. Find out why. OP didn't give her a name. Before we start, be sure to thermo-nuke the like button into radiating pieces. Are you ready for the fallout? Cuz towards the ending is why. This starts with a warning. Warning. This cheating revenge story will be upsetting to cheaters and the faint of heart. Alright, it's a rough one, so bear with me. This situation happened about two weeks ago and I've gone from fully trusting her to deeply doubting her. My wife and I met when I was 19 and we fell in love quite quickly. She had a four-month-old child from a previous relationship that father hasn't been in the picture since I've known her. Ever since I was a kid, I wanted to be a father, but I have a genetic bone disorder I don't wish to pass on, so adoption was just great with me. Anyhow, we've been just like your normal family every day since then. We got married last year. She was never super close with her family, but she did have a pair of cousins she was always kind of close to and I had lots of fun getting to know them and they seemed like decent people. She did mention that one of them, Max will call him, had tried to kiss her when they were like 12 and 13, but she ran off. I asked her if she ever told anyone and she said she chalked it up to him being a stupid kid. We see him on Christmas every year and he seems like a normal dude. I actually liked him as her family is a bunch of stuffed shirts and he's down to earth. Recently, they've reconnected and gone to a few family functions. We own one car and since I needed it for work, he picked her up and drove her to these things. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary about this. They are cousins after all. Her behavior really didn't make any obvious changes however randomly. As I was watching TV one night, she came in and mentioned that I had friended a girl from my place of work. I accepted a friend request. We're a pretty open couple and things don't usually offend us. For instance, she'll remark on an attractive guy and make some sort of lewd remark and I think nothing of telling her this woman was the new office eye candy. She didn't accuse me of cheating but it felt like she was about to, which has never happened before. The reason I mention this is because I've read cheaters accuse their partner as a projection or something. Anyway, these family outings were legit. The whole family posts pics on them on Facebook and the wife sends pics from the outings. There were two of these events and each time my wife came home, she was acting like a robot. Intimacy seemed normal if not quieter than usual but as she suffers from depression, she often gets cold every so often and when I asked her if she was doing all right, she chalked it up to that. Well, two weeks ago she leaves for work and as it was my day off, I putted around the house, dropped the boy off at school and came home to check my email. I saw that I had received a DM from her cousin. He and I had recently discussed going out to see a farm team baseball game and I thought he was getting back to me. A message reads, I'd like to see you on your knees. I was confused as hell until I realized that my wife was still signed in and it was her he was talking to. I wanted to end him. I instantly rushed and read through their chat log and it's filled with him creeping on her and while she is saying things like, but I married. No, I married. These read like very thin nose, like she's saying no because she has to, not because she wants to. I'm disgusted and absolutely flawed about it, but since none of them mention anything happening yet and she is denying him albeit kindly, I can't exactly say she's cheating. Well, when she gets home and our son is put to bed, I confront her over the situation she instantly breaks down into hysterics and tears saying things like, I didn't do anything. I didn't know how to tell you. I was just hoping he stopped. Now she and I both suffered childhood abuse from family friends. We've both went to years of therapy for it. For that reason, we have very good communication skills when it comes to comfort and boundaries and how to express ourselves about unwanted advances. I love her and I wanted to believe her and that he was just being a creep. But the way she didn't tell me enacted seemingly normal leads me to believe something else was going on. I told her that I believed her and asked her if I could message him to tell him to back off and how disgusted I am that they are cousins or if she would prefer to tell him and handle it herself. She first expressed that she would tell him that I knew and not to call her, but her resolve cracked as she was confident this would just stop. I was furious about that but didn't express it and told her that knowing she wasn't going to, so I was going to give him my peace of mind. This is my wife. If she's being harassed, I will end it. And if she's not being harassed, she's cheating on me. So I messaged him. He saw it but made no reply. The wife says I should have let her handle the situation and I told her there was no way I was going to keep quiet in the face of this. She seemed to understand and expressed in the end that I was probably right to confront him because she didn't know how. All seemed to return to normal, but three days later I come home and she's crying her eyes out. I ask her what's wrong and she said, It's Max. You should have let me handle it. I messaged him yesterday and he won't talk to me. We had the conversation again about me not sitting idly by when somebody is harassing my wife. She gave me a look. It wasn't much and it was only for a second, but it gave me the impression that she didn't consider it harassment. We end the discussion in agreement that I handled it how any man would have handled it. Two days later, I'm coming to bed late, like 2 AM as I was finishing up some work. I hear her on the phone with somebody kind of chuckling. This is not normal. Told me it was her mom and had something to do with our kid's birthday, which I didn't buy. But at this point, I've begun playing stupid so I can observe the situation from a place where she feels comfortable. The next day she's crying again. And at this point, I've really had it. She's been unstable for two weeks now. When I ask her if this is about Max again, she says she tried to call and apologize for not handling the situation herself and that he still isn't talking to her. I admit it. I snapped. I told her that either he was abusing her or she was cheating on me and I caught On the couch tonight, obviously, I wanted to believe her, but I'm not a moron. I'm essentially laying here with my finger on the button, waiting for some solid truth. Because if this is what it's feeling more and more like, I'm about to go 95,000 megaton nuclear on both of them. Sorry for the length. I just don't know what I can do from here on out. Thanks for all the input. She goes to work in six hours. I will apologize for my outburst and ask her to sit down with me and talk tonight. It's Sunday and our son typically stays the night with my parents every other Sunday. I'm not proud of it, but I feel it's in my best interest to do a snooping. If I find nothing, we will discuss what happened when it started, what I can do to help her and what we ought to do moving forward. I love her and the idea that she is being harassed by somebody who is supposed to love her breaks my heart. However, if I do find something sorted or learn that she was complicit in any way, I am done with the relationship that instance. I don't believe in marriage counseling in instances of infidelity. And even if I did cheating with someone who shares her blood, there is no way I could look at her the same again. Will update. I didn't sleep at all last night. And when she woke up, I made breakfast. I told her I shouldn't have blown up and that we should probably sit down tonight and talk about things. She agreed like she wasn't even upset to begin with and said she knew she had probably been acting badly. I told her that the sort of harassment she was dealing with was infinitely more difficult because he is a member of the family. She just seemed to agree with me. I wasn't going to snoop, but so many people on here told me I ought to and not wanting to be accused of not taking the advice I asked for, I decided to go through with it and check her emails. With the way she was acting this morning, I had fewer reasons to be suspicious. But at this point, what the heck and did just that? The level of disgust, hatred, and anger, I feel, cannot be expressed right. And there will be a divorce. There was one email entitled Yummy. And upon opening it, I found a picture of her cousin with his frosting on his face. The back and forth are him describing to her his encounters with random gay men. They make reference to past encounters they've had together, complete with one picture of a Strap toy captioned, I still have our old friend. It's not even the worst. Then I read some absolutely disgusting filth talk between them, where she is behaving in a very dominating way and insulting his size. Looking at the dates, I realized that this was from a year ago. As I continue to read, I'm able to figure out, at least from how it reads, that they used to hook up frequently, but stopped after we got married. We were together for several years before we got married. Later, she starts using the I'm married excuse, but it's reading like that's just a kink of his. To be told he can't touch her anymore, which he probably does. I'm raising her fucking kid, and she does this to me. I've wasted the last six years changing my work schedule and not taking better paying jobs because I need hours where I'm able to watch him. I went outside and sat on the front porch, called my brother over. After explaining to him the entire situation, I asked him to take my gun from me for the time being. I'm not a violent person. I never have been, but in the state I'm in now, I'm fluctuating between wanting to delete him or erasing myself. I'm not going to, but I feel like I'm headed for a breakdown, and I can't trust I'll behave rationally. After this, I'm packing up my clothes and checking into a hotel. These conversations have all been printed. I've sent copies to myself, and when I have time, I'm digging for more dirt. Bought a pack of cigarettes, stopped smoking four years ago, and enjoyed. I have to make an appointment at some STD clinic because according to these vile back and forth, a part of his thing is having unprotected encounters with these men. My soon-to-be ex-wife has a device and as such, I've never once in all these years worn protection with her. So now I apparently have months of biting my fucking nails to look forward to as I understand AIDS tests take months. Or will it take less time before a mushroom grows? I know his work schedule roughly because I used to work for the same company he does. So maybe before checking in and composing myself, I'm just going to drive down to see his wife with evidence in hand. There's no fixing this. There's no therapy, no hope, nothing positive, and I don't care to even entertain an apology. I'm divorcing the whole, and she will get nothing. I hate life right now. I don't feel depressed or sad. I haven't cried. I just have this hot ball of rage in my chest that the cigarettes only briefly cool. I can't be near her or him. I know I said I'm not violent, but man, I really want to implode my fists on them. My stepson is not a product of DNA being mixed up. He and his biofather look exactly alike, and he had to take a paternity test to establish child support. When it was established, he was the father. He vanished and has only been heard from once in the last four years. The last couple of days have been a regular roller coaster for me. I went to a lawyer initially, and after that I went straight to Max's home, where I spoke with his wife. She was broken-hearted as one might expect and disgusted, not only because of the cheating, but actually disgusted over the fact they share DNA. We sat down for a bit, and I told her also that he was bragging to my wife about how he was having unprotected encounters with random internet men, and that there were pictures of him that he was sending my wife that can't even be described here in words. She insisted on seeing them despite my advice not to, so she did. She was utterly broken. He was from both sides and was always found to be chatting up random guys. She said she allowed him to go out every so often and see a man if he felt he had to get it out of his system as she put it. She was under the impression that he hadn't done this in well over a year. When this was over, I stayed the night in a hotel where I still am and talked with my mother, brother, and father. My mother-in-law called me, begging me to come and talk about this, that I must have made some mistake. It's all voicemail and I never picked it up. Wife tried calling me a dozen or so times, but I didn't answer. She sent no texts. I assume she knows I've been documenting things and doesn't want to give me any more ammo. It's what I would do in her place. At the end of the day, I called her and kept it brief, saying I would talk to her the next day. When I eventually came home, she was a warbling mess. She tried to hug me and I told her that's over. She insisted she never cheated on me that I must have took something the wrong way and that Max's wife must be spreading these rumors because they hate each other. It is at this point that I realize that my wife thinks I heard about this from someone else. She doesn't know I discovered their affair myself. It's then that I show her the papers I have of the pictures of him with his glazed face. The screenshot titled, Yummy, with the picture of a huge thing titled Our Old Friend. Her speaking to him as if she is some dominatrix type, saying how he has a small one and real power play type stuff. At points, she was telling him to send her pics of himself after these men were done with him. Real stomach churning crap. I'm not a prude either. I engage in a lot of adventurous stuff, so it's not like she's dealing with an uptight hubby who isn't open and went out for those reasons. So anyway, as soon as she realizes that it was me who discovered this and told Max's wife, she goes from being weepy and sad to explosively angry with complete hysterics. You should have talked to me first. She's all over everything, telling everyone. She started a campaign of going after me all over Facebook. This is going to ruin me. You knew she would do this. I told him to stop texting me like that. At that last statement, I absolutely exploded. I told her that I just got done reading a year's worth texts and emails, and not once did she ever tell him to stop. I called her a degenerate, said that we both probably have aids now and she crumpled in on herself. Couldn't respond, just crying hard. I dropped on her that we were getting divorced. I then called her father and told him to come to my house because she really shouldn't be alone in that state. I returned to my hotel room and saw that Max's wife had been texting me. She had done some intense digging on her own and found discussions about encounters they had from 2010 on freaking MySpace. She told me early on in our relationship that he once tried to kiss her at 13 while they were actually full-blown active at 16 or 15, or during a time where MySpace was still widely being used. I'll admit it. Seeing it went on that far back was what finally broke me. I'm not big on emotional displays, but I broke down crying in front of his wife. She cried too. When that was over, I took her to the lawyer I'm seeing and now one of his partners will be handling her divorce. Through this ordeal, Max has been panicking and crying, trying to find out where his wife is. He's trying to talk to me, still after all this evidence trying to ensure this is all some big misunderstanding. It turns out that Max and ex-wife live in a house owned by Max's parents, and they have come down hard against their son, telling him he cannot stay there anymore and apologizing to their daughter-in-law and saying she's welcome to stay with their grandchild in that house for as long as she wants. He's basically disowned. Max's father even got it in his head somehow that Max was abusing my wife as a teenager, and that is why she is doing what she is doing today. She is his favorite niece, basically a second daughter, so Max in effect is on the lamb because his old man wants him gone and forgotten about. My father unprompted and wanting to help me assured me he'd pay my hotel for the week. Today I told my boss point blank no filter exactly what's happened and that I am taking two weeks to sort my life out. He remarked about how shitty his divorce was and told me to take whatever time I needed bottle fed and that he'll just tell everyone on the floor I've got a sick parent or something which was sweet of him. Now I'm lying down in my hotel room missing a step son I'll probably never see again. I raised him for six years, changed his diapers, bottle fed him at 3 a.m, took time out of work when he was sick, waited on him hand and foot after a nasty fall that broke his arm so his mother could sleep because she was working in the morning. The rest of this world could burn away to ash and I wouldn't blink or care but the thought of never seeing him again rips away at me like nothing else. I need therapy. Gonna take a hell of a lot of talking to get through this. I'm not a risk to myself so no worries there. I'm an atheist so this is the only life I got. Talking to my lawyer on the phone later and we'll be meeting up with Max's future ex-wife again because apparently there's more I don't know. Got a doctor's appointment tomorrow and then six damn months of waiting for results. Thanks for the support everyone if more develops I'll do another update. A few weeks back I found texts of a questionable nature on my wife's DMs from her cousin. She claimed this just happened and she wished he would stop. I messaged him never to speak to her again under the pretense that this had been an unwanted advance. Turns out it wasn't. Turns out they've been sexually involved since they were 14 or 15. Divorce is definitely happening so first of all I'd like to say thank you for the gold and the support from this community. I think I got the advice and input I was looking for and at this point I'm just doing another update so I can sort out my thoughts in a semi-public way. So random strangers can call me out on my crap. I do listen and I do take what everyone said to heart or at the very least into consideration. Well a bunch has happened since a day or two days since my last update. First the good news I got my HIV rapid test and it came back negative. Thought it would take days or months but literally learned in the same visit. I'm going to get tested again obviously in the next few months and for now I'm going to live my life as if I do have it just to be extra careful. Max's wife who I'll be calling Sherry from now on accompanied me for support. Her own appointment is in two days. Well I had the first long sit down with the soon to be ex-wife. We had an understandably explosive sit down earlier in the week and we've talked sparsely in between. I left this out but I've been calling her during my son's bedtime to say goodnight to him. At the moment he's under the impression that I'm just working a lot planning on telling him the truth in the following days or the truth that's good enough for a six year old. Reconciliation was never on the table. She knew this and didn't try to push it which I was thankful for. Her reasons shouldn't concern me they can't benefit me in any way but giving myself into emotions for the moment I asked her to be truthful and tell me how long it's been going on and why or if I did something that would push her to this. She looks like she's been crying on and off but she was fairly calm while talking with me about it and by how candid she was I can tell it's probably the truth. She looked somewhat relieved to be talking about it in a weird and messed up way. Long story short she's the instigator she didn't say as much but she's in love with him and they aren't together because obviously. Let me emphasize because they share the same blood. I'm learning now that I'm basically the equivalent of one of those sham wives that gay men would marry so they could seem normal. That's pretty crushing. She insists she loved and loves me still but I don't believe it nor does it matter. My life for the past six years was a lie probably just a cover for this crap. I don't know if I even know what real love romantic love looks like and that's got me more than a little twinge up. She looked hurt seeing me hurt but I don't know if it was real not that it matters anyway. The important thing we discussed was my stepson and what we will do moving forward. Before I could say anything she told me she wouldn't oppose something like weekend custody and would sign that in the divorce. Now she acts different. Now we're talking about the kid. I think she's extremely remorseful about how this affects him. A lot of telling me that I am his father, his only dad and taking me away from him would be so damaging. We're going to tell him the bad news in a few days. Tomorrow I'll be taking him to the zoo. I was thinking of telling him after that but he loves this zoo and I really don't want him thinking of his parents divorce every time he sees it. It's tearing me up having to think of a way best to scar my child for life. I'm thinking about how to make it positive like telling him how in my new apartment he'll have a new room and he can paint it how he wants and help me get stuff for it. Make him feel like he and I are a team in a way to make this nightmare fun. We aren't wealthy so basically we're just going to keep what we have in our already separate accounts, divide up the remainder of our utility bills in a fair way and just get the divorce. We discussed meeting at the courthouse and having me file divorce right in front of her so she can be served that minute. I wanted over as fast as possible and seeing as she's giving me the only thing I want, refusing the idea of me paying child support as she says. You didn't make him and you didn't do this to him. As much as I hate her right now, I'm surprised that she offers this. Maybe she just wants weekends off to ride her cousin carefree, but honestly, as long as I get to remain a dad in this kid's life, I might as well have won today. In other related news, yesterday or two days ago, whenever I post this, I went to visit Sherry, Max's soon to be ex, to see how she's holding up. When I arrived, Max's parents were there and were surprised to see me. I got a hug from my wife's aunt and she was crying and apologizing so much. It almost made me cry. She was under the impression that I was never going to see my son again, which really upset her because, and I didn't know this, but she used to love watching me play with my son at family gatherings. Basically, they are going to continue to allow Sherry and the baby to stay in their second home for as long as they like. Under the circumstances, Max will not be allowed there anymore and is basically disowned at this point. I'm not sure this was mentioned before, but the family seems to have gotten the idea that Max groomed my wife and that this is some kind of abuse or Stockholm syndrome. Call me an opportunistic prick, but for the sake of my son's stability, I will do nothing to correct them. If letting them believe this allows my wife to live at home with her folks and not having them fight over this in front of my boy, I'll allow it. Sherry is a mess, as one would expect. She has moments of being okay, followed by tears, followed by anger. The more she talks about subjects not related to this, the calmer she gets. Her family is going to be paying for her to see a therapist and her brother is coming to the state for a week to be with her and her mom is basically moving in with her for a month after that to try and help her cope. I got to feed her daughter today, such a cute kid and melted away my anxiety for a little while. Last night, my friends and I went to the movies and I asked her if she'd like to come along. I'm glad she came along, but I've also realized that I either need to put some distance between Sherry and I or I need to talk with her about what I think is happening. Nothing has been said, really, but she's casually touching me, which is something we never did prior to this. I had a tension headache, mentioned a knot in my neck and unprompted. She started rubbing my shoulders. Also unprompted during my test when the doctor left the room, she held my hand. It's probably all just me overthinking things due to my rejection, loneliness and wanting to feel accepted. But I am. I'm infatuated with her. Whenever I'm not obsessing over all the terrible things going on in my life, I find myself thinking of her in a romantic light and while it's probably not healthy, feeling anything positive is preferable to feeling nothing but misery and doubt. Again, maybe I'm reading too much into this and I'm mistaking her emotional support as something more than it is because my mind is twisted now. But she's acting toward me now, how past girlfriends and even the ex-wife did before I officially started seeing them. I mentioned it in the comments that I was trying to lighten the mood with my dark humor and said something like, I can't even go out and get a revenge lay without the possibility of hurting someone. Referencing my HIV fears and her response was to bring up the fact that if I am infected by default, she is most likely infected too. And that since our partners were sleeping together in a gross way, it's like she and I already did it. There were a few moments after that and a look which I took to be an invitation, but I changed the subject. I should be thinking about more important things, but I'm getting distracted by this. Part of me, the smarter part, knows that a foundation like this is horrible and acting on it might spell disaster for our upcoming divorces. On the other hand, I do have a real mental and physical attraction to this woman, one I'm 80% sure is mutual. I fear that not acting on it will make her think I'm not open to this at any point and she'll move on and I'll lose another person who makes me happy. If anybody has an answer for this, please help me. But huge digression aside, I still feel like I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown, but the divorce seems to be going in a favorable way for me. I will still be a dad. Oh, and where is Max in all of this? Nobody really knows, but he was couch-surfing the first two nights with friends out of state. He's called Sherry like three times since she went nuclear, but that's it. This update was exceedingly long, as a lot has happened. I'm getting out all of my thoughts and well, there are a ton. These were the bullet points, for the ones that are willing to help me. I will get weekend custody. My marriage was a sham cover for an incest affair. The HIV test results are in. Test is negative. Working together with the ex-wife for a quick divorce, neither of us are wealthy, so all we have to divide is two checking accounts and utility bills. We're in agreement on the terms. Falling for the other survivor, but not acting on those feelings, because apparently I'm stupid enough to catch feelings in a time like this, but not stupid enough to ruin myself any further by pursuing her. Thank you. Well, today's the day we've decided to tell my son about what's happening moving forward. This is not a talk that either of us are looking forward to, but it is inevitable. I spent a little time on the phone with my future ex-wife last night, and her tone changed, something I wasn't expecting. At first, she seemed resigned to divorce and didn't fight me on it. But on the phone, she was in tears at points, trying to explain away this relationship with her cousin. She's changing her tune now, saying that nothing physical happened between them during the years she and I were together, only random, dirty texts. The storm is coming. I can taste it in the air. Because now she says she ought to have my car, because I work 20 minutes from where we currently live and she works an hour away. Saying it's needed, because if she has our son all the time, she's going to need something to get to work. Honestly, this old rust bucket doesn't have but two good years left in it, so I'm contemplating just forking it over and getting a new car, as I'm going to need a new one anyway. But I also fear that if I start bowing to stuff like this now, it's going to be my entire life she will parasite of me. Through this, I come to realize that I really don't feel like leaving my apartment. She announced that she was moving in with her folks, so I think I might just wait until she's gone, which will be in a week or so, and then just talk to my landlord. Due to COVID, he's had trouble filling some of his units, so he might welcome me sticking around. I had breakfast with my dad. He approached the topic lightly, but he's essentially telling me, I ought to hold off on writing anything out. That would obligate me to stay in my stepson's life. He's not dismissing my stepson. He always makes time to see him and spoils the world out of him on Christmas and birthdays, even stops by with random toys. My point being, he's a proud grandpa. His reasoning was that I should wait to see how my wife behaves, and if that seems conducive to what I want in my life. Told me that I passed on my chance to go to school to become a family man, and that nobody in the family would hold it against me if I decided I didn't want to be a father anymore. While they all love my son, they don't want to watch me fall on your sword because you feel will judge you, and you tie yourself to that crazy family for life. More or less, they'll support me no matter what I do. Maybe after I consult my therapist, who I start seeing in three weeks, I'll feel differently, but at the moment I'm adamant about remaining a father. After that, I took Sherry out to meet with Max. I didn't go along with her, had I, he might have a few less teeth than I'd have charges on me. So I basically just hung out in the sonic drive-thru listening to music, buying a new drink a couple of times to justify my being there, and waiting for her to text me to be picked up. When that was over, she was a bit worse off from the experience. He's blaming her for the fact that things didn't end years ago. He claimed that the guys he said to be having crazy hookups with were made up, and part of some dirty story thing he and my future ex did together. Assuming he's being truthful, there was just one guy who is his secret boyfriend, I guess, and he made up the rest as part of this dirty story thing. Sounds like bullcrap. But honestly, for some reason, it could be true too. Sherry was quite devastated, mostly by the fact that he looked like he hadn't slept in days, didn't acknowledge his daughter and hadn't said anything about her until she forced the subject. She was really upset. So obviously, and I brought her home, but she did a fine job keeping it together for the baby. I really didn't want to leave her in that state, so I hung around and helped throw a dinner together, showed her how to make ghetto garlic bread and made pasta. I found out she sings a French language song to her daughter, and I was a little smitten with that. However, I also noticed when looking in on this, that Sherry actually has some of my son's hand-me-down baby furniture, which really brought home just how absolutely messed up this situation really is. When I went to leave, we gave a parting hug that went on for a few minutes, no words, got a kiss on the cheek, and I kind of rode that high for the rest of the night. The enormity of my life right now, I can't even fully grasp. I didn't think it was possible to be filled with such hate and anger, while also feeling that fluffy. Hey, I'm one of those people that found your story on YouTube, came here as some people say there's an update. I read everything and created an account because I got so much to comment, but I'll bite my tongue and only talk about few fears if that's okay with you. Thank you for coming to comment. The well wishes and support mean a lot. I'll respond to each of your concerns. I'm pro you and Sherry, and I just hope that now that you guys talked about how you guys feel to take things slowly. There's a chance one of you might not get over what happened as fast as the other. There's a possibility her family would want her to move back to their state. You get the idea. Keep enjoying your interactions, but both of you, be careful. Sherry and I have done a great deal of talking about this, especially about the stuff about her moving back to her home state. I said that she ought to consider that and that I shouldn't even be a factor in that decision. She'll likely stay because there are more job opportunities here. Plus with Max being here, it might be difficult for her to leave. She knows I'll support whatever she thinks is best for her and the child. She's also taking this a lot harder than me because unlike my ex, Max really isn't keeping in contact and is vanishing for days at a time while binge drinking. She wants a divorce, but wants him healthy for her baby. When your ex finds out about you two, she might retaliate with not allowing you to see your son, but hopefully it passes since her mom will talk sense into her. In a way, being friendly and polite with her mom as you have been will help you in the long run. Sherry and I are keeping quiet about what we have going on for the time being. We aren't sleeping together and we're not going to come out with our relationship until after both divorces. My biggest fear is when Max finds out. He will try to come for you. I know you might want that too, but think of your medical condition. This is basically the reason I created this account. Maybe I missed it, but I haven't seen anyone talking about the safety of your bones if a fight ensues. Max could not beat me up, nor would he try. I used to break a few bones a year as a kid, but into my 20s I've only broken four, three of which were in a single fall. Max is a short out of shape guy and me, while I'm not in the best shape of my life, I'm larger than him. And because of my bone problem, I've learned some basic self-defense just in case. All that said, the man is a weasel and has been hiding from his father, a 65 year old man all week. I'm really not afraid of him. It's okay to tell some close family members and friends the full spectrum of what happened, so they know how to help you more emotionally. My mom and dad know the whole story. My dad shivers at the thought and my mother has forbid my future ex-wife from coming near their home for any reason. My younger brother knows too and gave the token sweet home Alabama comment on Reddit. Have you talked to the landlord yet? Make sure your landlord knows you want to keep the apartment, but maybe don't tell your ex yet, so she cleans it till she's gone. But seriously, I don't want her to say, I kept the car because he kept the apartment. She's leaving anyway, so you are going back after. You're not kicking her out. These type of people like to control the narrative when talking to mutual friends, but I know that's the least of your issues now. I told my landlord that I'd like to stay and the future ex-wife knows I'm staying. She'll basically have to clean the place out anyway, and she owns way more stuff than I do. I'd leave better responses, but I caught this while getting ready to sleep. Thank you for your concerns. I've sort of entered the fleeing stage personally. I don't know whether it's the selfish brain talking or the rational one, but I'm beginning to have doubts about remaining a father. I want to be a good man. I want to believe I have the strength and resolve to raise another man's child. I mean, I did have that resolve before. This betrayal, though, it has warped parts of me and changed me a lot in such a short time. I'm becoming unable to wear a positive face about this. I've said it before, I'm well aware of my own genetic problems, and because of this, I've always made it a point even during my hormonal rampage teenage years to not have a child. I was responsible, careful, and thoughtful. I was never reckless. My cheating future ex-wife, on the other hand, was apparently wild, took no precautions, and as a result, had a child. So at times, it feels like I'm going to spend my life tied down, tied to one spot because of someone else's reckless behavior. I had no problem signing on to be a dad, as you've heard, I'm quite proud and happy with the time I've been in my stepson's life. Let's be honest with ourselves for a minute. We all know what's coming next. The soon-to-be ex is probably going to use him and my love of him to twist my arm and bend me to whatever she wants me to do. I'll never be able to move where I want to live. I'll never be able to live my life as I want to live it. This horrible woman will have me on strings and I will be dancing to whatever tune she wants me to. If he had been my biological son, I would fight for sole custody of him and throw my entire weight into ruining her character. But as he is not my son, there's no way I'll have these rights. Perhaps this is a passing feeling. Perhaps I'll feel differently tomorrow, but I'm just venting raw at the moment. Honestly, if there was a chance I could get full custody, I'd probably take it. This is the worst conversation I've ever had playing out in my head over and over again. In the process of writing this, I've gone back and forth between wanting to run and hating myself over that thought. In this complete nightmare, Sherry has been my constant partner. We have decided, against the wills of some of the commenters and even against our own logic, that we are now a couple. We will not be acting outwardly, we're going to keep everything quiet until we're sure it's working. We're both adults and we both live alone, so it shouldn't be some crazy jumble to keep it secret. Ironically, we're behaving as though we're committing an affair ourselves. I've discussed the troubles over being a divorce stepdad and she's offered me her take on it. She told me that if it were her in my position, she would do all she could to get as far away from this crazy family as possible because I have the option to. She lamented the fact that no matter what happens, because of Max, she'll be stuck around both he and my soon-to-be ex probably for the rest of her life. Her suggestion to me is pretty much the conclusion I've come to. My decision is not to make any more rash decisions until after I talk with my therapist, two weeks from now. I went back to my apartment today and was surprised to find just how much stuff my ex has already moved out of there. Yes, you might have noticed. I'm not helping her move out. A little depressing, seeing it looking that empty, but it was also kind of a relief to know that she is leaving without a fight. The boy is with his grandparents now, so the ex and I were alone and decided to have a cup of coffee and a chat before talking about how we're going to divide up some of the more mutually owned things. Things were pretty polite, all things considered, for Sherry's sake. I figured I'd ask if Max had been in contact with her because he's been a ghost for the last three days, and he really didn't leave Sherry anything for diapers or food. Max's folks are helping her, and I will where I can. Anyway, she shows me her phone and she's got four missed calls from him and texts wanting to talk. Says that she tried to talk him into chilling out and facing the family because he'll have to eventually anyway and from the sounds of it. He's probably going to run, never to be seen again. The soon to be ex then asks how Sherry is holding up and that she hears from her aunt that I've been around her a lot. Not that I need to, but I explain how we're trying to support each other since we're going through it together and that Sherry is obviously pretty beat up from all this. In the middle of this she freezes and just point blank says, Whatever you're doing with her is none of my business, but I'm not stupid. The weirdness of being indirectly accused of an affair by the woman who cheated on me is pretty rich. I wanted to tell her off, but at the risk of this causing issues with the divorce, my only response to it was to redirect the conversation back to dividing our stuff up. Down a big television, but she also took these ugly couches. Thank God I didn't want to be the one dragging them to the curb. Thanks for the support folks, but that's pretty much all that's going on with me. A lot of internal arguments, doubt and division, but at the end of the day, for now, I've got a sweetheart keeping me propped up while I'm not propping her up. Get out your reading glasses. It's going to be a tough one. It's been nearly three weeks since my D-Day and more than a month since my life began to radically change. I never really discussed what sort of order my marriage was in in any of the previous posts, but as it is relevant to today's therapeutic typing session, I'll get into that just a little as I go on. If this is the first of my posts, you are reading the TLDR is as follows. I accidentally discovered through DMs that my soon-to-be ex-wife was engaged in a affair with her blood-sharing relative cousin, Max. I informed Max's wife of the troubles, and she went nuclear, exposing both partners. Through all this, Max's wife and I have begun casually dating as it turns out we're quite attracted to each other. I filed for divorce yesterday, went down to the courthouse and spoke with the bailiff or sheriff, the person on the other side of the counter and filled out the needed paperwork, my soon-to-be ex and I in an effort to end this quickly have decided against lawyers and have agreed on who gets what with no mediation needed. Well, we tried to go to the courthouse today and have her served immediately after I turned in the paperwork. We were trying to avoid the authorities coming to her home or place of work to serve her. I'm usually pretty level-headed about things. Soon-to-be ex is also calm and collected, which is not at all how she normally is. She seems almost as eager as me to get it done. Turns out she can't be served in the way we wanted to save time, and so I had to drive her home to her folks. I asked her how things were going despite all this, her facade breaks a little, and through some tears she tells me she's doing fine with me gone, and only really feels bad when my stepson starts asking for me or gets sad that I'm not around. She comes clean that she's actually been unhappy being married to me since before we had even got married. She didn't resent me or hate me, she just wasn't in love with me anymore. Our bedroom life wasn't the best, we're both very active and sexual people, but we stopped being on the same page a while ago, and we both knew that. I like to pursue, I hate to be chased, she loves to pursue and hates to be chased, something was bound to break, and we had several talks in our marriage about this. For a while we switched up our roles so we could both get what we wanted, but after a while it just turned into me sacrificing my desires to only have intimacy in the ways she wanted to. Some of the things she wanted me to do I never really liked and never got better at, and seemingly out of spite. The things I was good at she spurned. Meanwhile she would seldom if ever take my requests as time went on. In the middle of our relationship we had a female live-in roommate that we had a mutual attraction for and under a strict set of guidelines and rules. She became someone we frequently had encounters with for a time that put a band-aid on things. The soon to be ex and I were a good team, were good at communicating our finances and were good at parenting as we make sure to never undermine each other and always present a united front. We enjoy the same movies, were both artistically inclined, I a writer and she an illustrator, we had a million things in common that made us best friends, a good team, but the intimacy problems were always there. While this third woman was in the relationship that tension was gone and we worked perfectly together as those frustrations and needs were met by a third party. Eventually this third woman moved out and ended things with us on good terms, mostly because she wanted a boyfriend and no guy would go in for a setup like that. It was around this time that Max and Sherry moved in to Max's parents second home. For a few years they had been living in her home state until he lost his job. The soon to be ex says it was then that Max re-established contact with her. They began meeting up just as normal cousins at first, but one day she decided to vent her frustration, probably an invitation, about her intimacy life and they started having an affair. They would only meet up around family gatherings and use excuses to vanish. A few of these I'm remembering not being able to find her. We got married at this time, so I can only assume it happened at my own wedding. At this point I really don't feel like listening to this and the soon to be ex mentions that she is now seeing a therapist and she wants to treat me like her priest in confession, everything concerning their affair. I was hearing for the first time. I guess it's good that I know the truth, but seeing as it impacts my life in no way there's really no point for me to be hearing it. She also confesses about a moment when her out of state aunt died, in which she asks if I remember her crying for over a week. I do as she was destroyed by it. She says she was devastated over a call in which Cheryl happily informed her. She was pregnant. That means at one point I was actively holding my wife and comforting her as she cried over another man. I feel more betrayed now than I did when I discovered the texts. This was after a weekend where I got to spend two whole days alone with my stepson. I had such a good time and he did too, as it's the longest time we've been together since D-Day. He's sick and likes Minecraft and so I got a console version so we can play split screen. Told me he misses me, but loves seeing his grandparents every day. They spoil the heck out of him. So after this great weekend of video games and playing catch, typical dad stuff, I'm really positive about staying a dad until she drops all this new info on me. I've gotta be real. I'm finding the whole idea of having to be around this woman for the rest of my life voluntarily, something I'm not sure I'm going to be able to do. As a parent, I should be able to get over my own bull and keep a level head for the sake of the child, but circumstances being what they are, throwing in the towel becomes a more and more attractive idea. That, more than losing my wife, more than the betrayal, breaks my heart. I'm going to see him again Friday night and going to see if I can still fight through this. On the sherry front, I'll keep it fairly brief as this is already way too long. Max stopped calling or taking calls from her four days ago and it turns out he's moved in with his boyfriend. He has a boyfriend. She's going to file for divorce before the week is over and consider her next move. Her brother arrives in two days to talk with her and stay for the week. With Max's parents permission, we've changed the locks on the house because as rumor has it, Max has been using. Using what I don't know, but all the same better to be safe. I installed a new chain and a deadbolt. He's never been known to be violent, but he's never been known to vanish for days on end with the rumor being he's into narcotics now. When it comes to my relationship with sherry, we are quietly pursuing a romantic relationship. We're both equally aware that we could just be dealing with our trauma and these feelings might not be 100% real or lasting. But if I can be allowed to be vain for a moment, it's the best intimacy I've had in my life. I've never been more physically attracted to any of my previous partners and I find myself at work daydreaming about her toward the end of the work day. I don't think I've ever had such a strong want for someone before and all told she tells me it's something mutual. I've been back to work this week and both days she stopped by to bring me dinner she made and that's damn near the cutest thing anyone's ever done for me. Once again, I feel like life is beating the crap out of me at the same time. Everything is going right. This is going to be my final update as I've had two friends in my real life approach me over my original posts and I'm uncomfortable sharing this with anyone other than internet strangers. So after this is posted I'm going to spend a day or so responding to comments before signing out permanently from this account. It was supposed to be a throwaway for these reasons anyhow. The last week and a half have been an extremely depressing and stressful time. I don't know why it took so long for it to set in with me but in the days after my last update the new information that my ex gave me concerning her relationship with Max started eating me alive. I started imagining them sneaking off every time my back was turned I faced the fact that she was never truly mine that I was just some placeholder man and babysitter here so I could provide a cover for her degenerate relationship. By the end of it I came to the realization that I'm not going to continue to live my life as an extension of hers. This of course means that I will not be seeking any sort of relationship with her son after the divorce. It is the worst feeling I've ever had in my life but I can't imagine myself ever getting better ever truly living my life on my own terms if I can't get out from under her shadow. I know many of you don't want to hear me say this I never thought I'd have to but he's still young I'm still young and there will be many years to heal from this. Sherry's life has been a living nightmare for the last four days her brother had arrived earlier in the week and she was so relieved to finally see her family in all this when she introduced me as the ex-husband of Max's affair partner and that we had been supporting each other through this he pretty much figured out that we were seeing each other he took me aside like I expected any big brother might do and expressed concerns that she might be jumping into things too early I explained to him that she and I had that same conversation and are going easy because of this I told him that I respected his sister and that our relationship mostly began because I knew she had no support locally and being hurt in the same affair I thought we could relate I also told him that if they decided it was best for her to go back home I wasn't going to stand in the way her recovery should come first to her not only for herself but also for her daughter after that he and I got along as well as could be expected when things were finally looking up Sherry gets a call from the hospital and Max is in the intensive care unit he didn't leave a note so the reasons are still not solid but he ingested a dangerous amount of anti-freeze I mean obviously with all the drama and shame of having his affair discovered self-deletion isn't far-fetched but on the other hand of all the ways to do it who thinks of a method like this I mentioned before that he was rumored to be getting into the drug scene so accidental poisoning can't be ruled out either in any case Sherry is now feeling tremendously guilty over this as unwarranted as that might be Max's parents went from universally condemning him to asking Sherry whether or not she'd consider reconciling with him she told me that she told them she'd consider it but only because she didn't want to see them hurting anymore on top of this as of writing this he's been in the ICU for five days I don't know all the technical terms but there's a concern with crystal deposits in the brain cerebral edema he had a heart attack at some point during his initial treatment and honestly nothing really looks good for him Sherry told me that even if they managed to save him the amount of brain damage he's received will impact him severely for the rest of his life I can't say I pity him I don't wish this suffering or the end on anyone but this man had a hand in ruining my marriage depriving a father of a son ruined his own marriage deprived a daughter of having a healthy father in her life I'm just here for Sherry until she decides what she's going to do with her life following this if she decides she wants to try and make it work with me I'm open for that if she wants to head back south to be with her family I fully support that too my ex you might expect her to be drawn to his hospital bed as her lover needs her that's not the case I hear she's actually seeing someone now which probably means there were multiple guys in the shadows which is a hard reality check for me apparently I have the situational awareness of a drunken toddler or maybe I had blinders on but holy hell I have no idea who I was even married to that's part of my reason for not remaining in my stepson's life I'll never get past the drama and I'd have to sit back powerlessly and watch as her poor decisions continue to make his life worse and worse I hope she smartens up that her therapist actually gets her thinking right and responsible but I have serious doubts she'll ever change if six years of marriage didn't civilize her I doubt a therapist will I still don't get what I did wrong I'm a good listener I'm a provider I clean up after myself I did my best to never make her feel unloved or unwanted I raised her kid I helped her aunts and uncles with home renovations I had a great relationship with her folks her father and I used to go out for a beer and watch the game together independent of her so it's not as if there was friction in how I dealt with her family and my family adored and accepted she and her son from day one there were intimacy issues I guess but it's not like we had a dry marriage we could have had better communication there as there were some conflicts over dominance but I thought what we had was strong enough to endure something like that turns out there was really no relationship at all just a rotting illusion I wish I had something more positive to end this on but this will be my near my last update if you're interested to know what I intend to do with my life moving forward it's basically one of two options both will take place after this event with max is over I can't imagine myself leaving sherry in the middle of all this since she has been a constant pillar of support for me this whole time option one if sherry wants to move back to her home state when this is over I'll give her a kiss goodbye and send her on her way no offense to that state but I don't see a future for me there if she wants me to go with her we will have a discussion and I might do some research on the area to see if I'm misjudging it she makes me happy she feels like how a loving partner ought to feel like I'm not going to tell her how much she means to me because I want her to be making choices that are the best for her and her daughter without me clouding her judgment if she in the course of our discussion tells me she loves me and wants to give us an honest try I'll tell her how I feel and we'll go from there I don't want to be morbid but if max doesn't pull through we're both leaving the state anyway option two if sherry and I don't continue our relationship the answer is easier I have friends and family on the west coast that I've been missing and my career has more opportunities for advancement there anyhow I could really rediscover myself on my own and make a life for myself in all honesty this is probably what I'll most likely do go surfing again stay in shape find someone that'll actually love me start a family the possibilities are endless I've mentioned this to sherry and she expressed some interest in making a move like that because she's never been out west before that would be an undertaking but if the love and willingness is there I'd be happy to date her for several months before deciding to take that step option three I forgot to mention there's also option three I could just remain here and climb the ladder at work now that there is nothing preventing me from doing that I'm currently a quality control floor supervisor in the manufacturing industry most guys who've worked here as long as me have already gone corporate and sit behind a desk and that should have been me as well but they needed a night supervisor and I couldn't take the position before because of family I could just remain here and flourish get myself a new girlfriend or if for some reason sherry stays here pursue a lasting relationship with her I'm also looking into my disorder to see if any advancements have been made maybe there's a way I could have my own children now with no fear of passing anything on I haven't looked into it in over a decade so who knows once more thank you for all the support and comments it's still the start of a lifetime journey and I'd be lying if I said I felt good about it but things must go on my friend your ex will try to get back in your life you're the only stability she has ever had and will be missing that within a year or two not saying you will get back with that toxic human being but just giving you a well meant warning if you and sherry for whatever reason decide to stay the ex will do her utmost to undermine your relationship with her just like the old song lyrics say you're gonna miss me when I'm gone good luck to you and sherry yeah no chance I ever take her back and she knows that not sure what she'd do to undermine us I'm a man I don't hurt women but I've got the distinct feelings sherry would lunge at her if given the chance three months since my d-day and my life is almost unrecognizable I know two months ago I titled my last update as my last update but I figured since there are some fairly huge developments in my walk down this crazy road I'd share it with you if this is my first post you're seeing back early July I came across some disgusting DM messages between my soon-to-be ex and her cousin max with some further snooping I discovered that they've been involved for at least 10 years which predates my relationship with her the first person I told was sherry max's wife she outed them on social media pretty heavily my ex took my stepson and moved back in with her parents and I remained in my current apartment during the first few weeks after the discovery sherry and I met up for emotional support and to exchange evidence of the affair to help each other's divorce cases it escalated to a physical relationship and currently she is my girlfriend sherry's husband vanished from the picture after being outed and though it was ultimately ruled as accidental max ingested a lethal amount of anti-freeze and as of the day after my last update he passed away things for sherry turned ugly almost instantly max's parents up until that point had sided with her on everything even allowing her to remain in their second home with her daughter max's passing turned the situation around and they began blaming her for it mainly because of how she outed him so publicly secondly the week before this happened my soon-to-be ex parents spotted sherry and I on a date looking cozy together we wanted to keep it all on the down low until the divorce but we were outed nobody on any side of this my folks or hers were thrilled with this in my last update I said that I would be unable to remain a stepfather to my ex's son but in practice for a few weeks I resolved to be a weekend father against my own misgivings I love him too much to walk away I would have been able to continue seeing him regularly but the ex decided to end that once she found out sherry and I were an item I still see him in fact I took him apple picking last weekend but it's clear she's not going to allow me to have regular weekly visits our divorce hearing is scheduled for mid-November and aside from the occasional call to check in on my stepson she and I have gone no contact I've since learned that she had two more affairs one before we were married and one during the marriage when our mutual friends heard about the impending divorce they came forward they mentioned times where they were suspicious of her behavior with these two men really glad they stayed silent about these concerns for years now I don't trust a single one of them nothing like finding out that everybody thinks you're an oblivious moron when you already think you're an oblivious moron none of that really matters and at this point as it's kind of like falling down and scraping my knee after getting shot yes it sucks but comparatively not so much I mentioned how sherry's former in-laws turned on her and because of their constant harassing phone calls and threats of eviction I offered to let her move in with me for the time being her original goal was to move back to her home state to be with her family but we're just trying to figure out the best way to do this I know some people are going to call us stupid but after living together for a week we decided on not going our separate ways and that will make a go for a real relationship absolutely nobody in our families are cheering this on as they both rightly think we went to fast and maybe we did but we're both very happy together I've also learned at this time that sherry never finished high school as she moved to be with max before she graduated he also wanted to have that traditional family outside of infidelity with DNA sharing roles so she doesn't have much experience working she's currently working on getting her GED and her family offered to pay for her to go attend some form of higher education provided she moves closer to home as it turns out there happens to be plenty of work in my field around where her family lives and with the current political bullcrap and the increasing crime rate it's probably better to move out of the city anyway houses are also cheaper there and the idea of owning my own home is pretty tempting so I'll most likely head out that way myself when she does sherry and I are very close and have really taken well to living together we've both been in therapy over this and there's been a few times we've even gone with each other to the other's appointment we are both learning together what a relationship ought to be I've only had two long-term relationships in my life and from my ex-wife I just accepted it as normal that we were pretty distant from each other there was no lack of sexual intimacy between us but I've realized just how much the ex and I were living in two separate worlds under the same roof sherry experienced similar feelings with max she texts and calls me frequently for no reason we talk about our days sit down to have dinner together she also cooks a lot which has sparked an interest for me so over the last few weeks we've been finding interesting things to make together and it's fun a shared interest and activity six years with my ex and I can't remember what our thing was or if we really had anything I've kept it together pretty reasonably all things considered but when I had a moment alone I shed some tears over the fact that the last six years of my life were completely meaningless and I've got nothing to show for it the feeling passed pretty quickly sherry has her bad days the therapy has really kept her afloat because in the week following max's passing I was very worried about her state I'm making sure to make time for myself to heal but helping her keep it together was really detrimental in keeping me moving forward whenever she isn't feeling down we're connected at the hip we go to bed at the same time together and get up together share the shower sometimes a lot of things I didn't know I needed in my life plus I get to do some parenting stuff such as feeding and putting her daughter down for sleep which has made it so that my dad instincts are still fed the ex has of course learned of the relationship and that's gone about as well as you might expect she too blames sherry for what max did to himself she seems to think everything would have been better if we kept things between ourselves in the breakup rather than sherry blowing up facebook with the news she says she would have never left our apartment if she knew that sherry was going to move in before going on a tirade of how sexually inadequate I apparently am before I had to hang up on her november and my divorce can't come fast enough last paragraph I swear but I started writing this a couple of days ago and as of this morning sherry took two pregnancy tests and both came back positive so this is a curveball I hadn't been expecting as everyone who's read my other posts knows I'm terrified of passing on my bone disorder we spent the day talking about it she has gotten her period after she separated from max so that's not a possibility so it must have been me getting careless still need a doctor's appointment to confirm which is set up and we've been googling about my condition all day the good news we can find out as early as the 14th week if the child has a severe or moderate case this year keeps piling on if the child is healthy I'll be happy no matter what neither her or I a big on the idea of terminating a pregnancy unless of course they see a severe case which in many cases means death at birth so many worries we've chosen to be happy with this until we see what's up at week 14 I'm in love with her she's in love with me and we're spiraling headlong into I don't freaking know what but I'm afraid hopeful but so afraid I've been praying on it and to who I don't know as I'm an atheist a year ago today was the day I made the most life-changing discovery I'd ever made in my life but I didn't know it at the time I had just sat down to check socials and saw I had a message and realized after I clicked it that it was my then wife's account that was active inside there were messages of an intimate nature from her cousin max that got the ball rolling and within three weeks of this message max's then wife sherry and I collected evidence of their incest affair stretching back to the days of my space and through the trauma she and I began supporting each other and then dating a year later she is the mother of my first born child this affair has changed the lives of so many people involved and surrounding it max my ex-cousin and a fair partner ingested a lethal amount of antifreeze though it is highly probable that this was a deliberate we were told by the doctors that treated him that he had ingested just enough to have this effect sort of suggesting that he was trying as a cry for help sherry had been living on a property owned by max's parents and they had taken her side when the affair was made public but took back their support when he passed fearing they'd evict her or worse she and her daughter moved into my apartment max's passing made it so that my ex is now openly hated and despised by her family for her role in the affair they'd been blaming him for it and acting as though max was a predator that had been grooming her or using her until he passed and then the blame got shifted to her she's no longer welcome at family gatherings and the only people she speaks to is her own parents and i think the only reason they haven't disowned her is because of my former stepson my ex-wife had been letting me continue to see my stepson after we split my relationship with sherry was outed around the time of max's passing and this ultimately led to her fighting me over it it still baffles my mind that even after i caught her in 10-year long affair she had the audacity to act as though seeing another woman was some sort of a crime worth taking away the son i had raised since he was only a few months old ultimately though i decided on my own to walk away from the entire situation as i felt like our constant fighting and my lack of legal authority over him would lead him to be even more unhappy and traumatized than if i just left those of you following me or reading the comments of other posts will know that sherry and i have relocated to her home state where i've started a new job and we're currently renting a home we are also both in therapy individual and we're being counseled together we both understand that a lot can go wrong with relationships that formed the way ours did and we both want to work on communication and growing with one another so we can better navigate the tough times when they come we're both survivors of infidelity the story of how we fell in love can never be a cute story to tell the kids one thing i learned about my marriage through therapy is just how much my own parents terrible marriage has affected me my dad is a good guy a loving father and my mother is a wonderful woman but their relationship is a mess my ex-wife and i never really fought or got into huge fights now kid living in a home with a loveless marriage i always knew when things were bad the loud arguments and the yelling and what have you when things were quiet things were good it wasn't happy it wasn't healthy but it wasn't outright conflict so i associated it with good and healthy my ex-wife in all likelihood never loved me and i've come to realize that just because we didn't fight and there was no outward conflicts this by no means meant things were happy it's just that my only point of reference for goodness in a marriage was quiet and i had quiet i'll speak for sherry a little as she's given me that permission to share but she had been made to feel completely dependent upon max for everything they met online dated long distance and he convinced her to move in with him even if doing so meant she'd be dropping out of school he also wanted to be one of those man of the house types so he didn't allow her to work no work no school pretty much meant no friends outside of max and my ex's family even worse a year into it he revealed to her that he also was into men and informed her he'd see men every so often and not knowing how to handle it she just surrendered to that situation she is now working on a means to get her gd so she can find a job should she choose to i'm more than happy to provide for the mother of my child but after not having a say in her own life for so long she needs to be free to decide what she wants to do with it last i heard about my ex is that she got into an altercation at a parking meter with a traffic cop or something and the incident lead to her arrest and discovery of a whole host of prescription medication at first i was told that she stole it from someone but it turns out she's been doctor shopping she ended up doing some token three weeks of jail time and her parents are currently fighting to have custody of my stepson life got difficult for her real quick i could write all day about this but i'm going to end it here and answer questions if anybody wants to get more specific but i think that just about does it thank you for all the support everyone you internet folks really helped talk me through all this even though you met her in such bad circumstances you too trying to build a good family there happy to hear the update i think in your previous post you said you have some genetic condition and afraid about that may be transferred to your child hope everything is okay regarding that this post would have been eight pages longer had i included that my son is happy and healthy we had tests done during the pregnancy to check for the condition and everything checked out glad to see things are going well for you hopefully things continue with the two of you if i may ask and if it's too personal i understand it's a good thing she is getting some independence but does that create any worry on your part not really it's one of the things we discussed in our joint therapy sessions a big fear i had was that she was simply exchanging one ruler for another and i wanted to make it clear that i love her and i'd like to help be a part of making her life what she wants it to be she's always wanted to be a mother and the idea of being a stay at home mom wasn't totally out of line with the sort of life she saw herself living but she never felt like she had a choice in it with how max was and she always hated leaving school another big reason of her going and getting the g ed was because all this obviously scarred her that she'd be a single mom high school dropout and would like to at least not be so helpless should something happen to us in our relationship or if i pass away for months i've read my boyfriend's posts and updates hello strangers my name is not sherry but a lot of people on reddit would know me by that name for a year my boyfriend has been posting and updating about his ex-wife's affair with my ex-husband and a lot of the comments i have read have been the sweetest most helpful advice i've ever heard he did not want to show me what he was posting but after he found out i watched reddit videos on youtube he showed me his profile and i have been reading them and giving input on them too as he writes my ex-husband the one that is called max in these posts we met online when i was still in school i was 16 and he was 18 but we grew close pretty quick and started a long distance relationship he visited me once in my home state for a week where we decided we were going to move in together my father never liked max from the start i think my first red flag was when he came over to meet my parents for the first time while he was wearing pajama pants for the rest of the relationship they never called him my boyfriend or fiance just pajama boy we both loved anime and i am an introvert so for a while he and like two of my friends were really the only people i talked to i never thought he was a bad person i always thought he was like me and just awkward and not used to crowds or social situations he was always mailing me dvds figures and clothes i liked when he wasn't around and in the beginning he really did a lot to make me feel like he loved me in my senior year of high school he convinced me that we had to live together and be together he did not threaten to break up with me but he did start saying things like this was the prime of his life and that he could be dating and sleeping around but didn't because of me i told him i wanted to finish out the year and told him this and for a day or so he talked like he was okay with it only to start guilt tripping me about the life i was keeping him from living my home life was not ideal and being a stupid kid i gave in stopped going to school and took a bus up to be with him things changed almost the instant i got there he wasn't abusive he did not hurt me or insult me but it seemed to me at the time that he had lost all interest in me we would be together but not often and where once he seemed outgoing he now never wanted to leave his parents house for any reason we were still friends but for two years of our relationship all we really did was play video games from the time we got up in the morning until the time we went to bed he also started gaining weight from all the delivery food he ordered literally every day just to get out of the house i got a job at a pet store where i made my first friends in that state the whole time we were together he worked in an office warehouse for a drugstore chain so my life before pet store was waking up seeing him leave for work having awkward conversations with his siblings and parents until he came home and then video games honestly i started thinking about leaving him a year into this i felt he worked really hard to get me but once he had me he stopped trying or caring it wasn't long after this that he revealed to me that he was into the other side no big deal i am too but he started what i can only describe as passive guilting me he'd talk about being attracted to men and how that was a part of his life he could never explore now we started arguing over it and eventually i said something stupid like go get it out of your system i didn't know this would become a common thing through his phone i accidentally discovered that he had met up with a man i confronted him over it we fought he apologized and he promised he would never do it again truthfully i wanted to move back home but when this all happened i didn't have the best relationship with my parents and i thought moving home might be worse this happened twice more and i forgave him two more times or at least i said i did i started saving up money from my job and planned to leave him and get my own place but before i could do i discovered i was pregnant instantly his interest came back and he was extremely nice to me again i threatened to leave if he cheated again and i told him that we had to change and couldn't keep living at his parents because i was ashamed of being our age and still doing that and to still do that with a child would make me feel worse to his credit he did change and start cleaning up it was decided that we would move into his parents second home and begin renting from them as the and it was during our move that i met his cousin who i will call jenny op's ex-wife i really liked her at first as we were into the same kind of music and anime and had the same sense of style she also had a little boy and started to give me advice when we were moving into our home she and op i'll call him john from now on brought over a lot of their son's baby furniture and even a crib and so forth and i was very thankful but then he started hanging out with jenny a lot she got him concert tickets for his birthday for two people and of course she took him out he got a weekend job at a halloween carnival and she was always posting pics of herself there with him and his co-workers she started to seem a little needy and close to him but they were cousins so i didn't think anything was wrong with it or if i did i called myself crazy for thinking that he also started wearing kilts around this time it was weird but he is scottish so i figured he was awkwardly embracing his heritage then they went from the flannel and tartan whatever designs to wearing one made of denim that just looked like a skirt jenny started coming around a lot more the more pregnant i got and i noticed that whenever she was going to be around or they were going somewhere he'd be in kilts they would claim to go to movies together or to hang out with mutual friends i was very suspicious but attributed it to hormones after my daughter was born jenny disappeared overnight though they would talk on the phone a lot i tried to snoop once or twice on his phone but there was nothing and he was working hard and behaving like a good father so all the weirdness just vanished over time a few months later jenny started coming around again she was coming by almost every day asking him to help with something because john was at work i remember once while they were both present i said fine go date your cousin again i would find out later that it was during this time that john had discovered that max was sending jenny dirty texts but she told him she'd deal with it then one afternoon as i was getting lunch ready for my daughter i get a knock at the door and it's john he looks very composed but he gets four or five words into explaining to me what he discovered before he gets choked up and teary all of my suspicions were true max was cheating on me with his cousin i went ballistic and exposed them on every social media platform i have i saw max three times after this moment because he ran away the first was him pulling away from our house after he snuck in to collect his things the second was meeting him in a parking lot because he wanted to talk in person and the third was seeing him in the hospital after he poisoned himself this is already very long and i plan to continue writing as a therapeutic release but i'm glad i've got at least this off my chest i watched the story very interesting to find out the story from the other angle thank you for sharing your side i have followed john's version of the story first of all congratulations on your baby actually happy for you guys you guys are healing together in a drastic way i know that max was cheating on you with other men before this cousin fiasco but thought that you were happily married but this guy is another level of a crap storm we shouldn't talk ill of the dead but i think he deserved it never expected to be this bad even before this shit show started you were in such a low place anyway take care of the baby and elder daughter i always tried to make it look to everyone outside that we were happy and got along but i was embarrassed so embarrassed of what he had turned into he didn't forbid me from having friends but what few friends i did have he talked so much garbage about that i stopped hanging out with them because i didn't want to deal with his long-winded speeches about them when john told me max was cheating and with who it was like the straw that broke my back i'm not happy that he's gone even though he did everything he did it still hurts to see what happened to my old friend our daughter will probably not remember much about him and for that i am thankful that's a good thing your daughter never remembering him it's best that you moved away from your in-laws she has a father now that's all she needs i got teary reading that she really does have a good dad now i knew i was in love with him three weeks after he gave me the bad news i was having a bad day very weepy and very hard to keep it together john told me to take a nap and that if my daughter fussed he would handle it i woke up an hour later to him chopping up strawberries for her to eat i got the warm and fuzzies and they haven't gone away and so we come to the end of this crazy story op is an honest man brutalized by the disturbing affair of his cheating wife yet willing to step up to the plate to take care of the stepchild but he chose not to in the end do you consider his recurring doubts a sign of weakness or his last resolve a sign of strength i think we shouldn't be harsh on op as 99 percent of us will never endure such a depraved form of betrayal imagine being the kid growing up having to explain what his mother did with her own cousin this story is brutal on another level multiple affairs exposed families blame shifting all the while having to face his own struggles with his disease what would you advice op thank you for staying till the end with me i cover these while always keeping your experience in mind as you might have noticed already i'm not fast in the uploading frequency but i want to put my soul into creating these episodes for you let me know what you think your engagement with these stories provide valuable insights for others i'll peek in the comment section that's my promise to you before you go be sure to thermo nuke the like button into radiating pieces