 This is a new series called Dine and Dish, where we make a meal and have an intimate conversation with some of our favorite people. Today, we are making vegan bourbon mushrooms and rice with our homies Jade and Devin. Now Jade and Devin are not just married, they're also musical and business partners. Their project, All Blue, has well over a million plays and is now streaming on every single platform. So we've had a ton of conversations with Jade and Devin in the past about marriage, so we were super excited to hear what they thought of Jada Pinkett Smith and Will Smith's Red Table Talk. Now in the comments section, the question I want you all to answer is, is marriage the ultimate goal for a relationship? Well, literally every person on my Twitter feed, it was like, yo, that's goals right there, yo, yo, yo, Will and Jada did this. And I was like, oh, so maybe I should check this out. And then when you brought it up, I was like, yeah, let's watch it. Let's take it to the world. On top of being obsessed with her, like I think their relationship's always kind of been intriguing to a lot of people because there's always, yeah, there's always been so much speculation and for them to finally, you know, address a lot of that is kind of dope. Well, were you guys watching, like, let me learn or like, let's figure it out. Let's see what they're actually gonna say. I think a little bit of both. Yeah. Yeah, cause I mean, they have so many unorthodox ways about them like over the years and so much speculation that it's like, what's really going on behind it. The only thing they did say is that they're not swingers. That's so specific though. That was a way to kind of get it. Cause yeah, that's a different lifestyle. He said that is a very specific lifestyle. He didn't say we haven't experimented with other people sexually, which is their business. But yeah, they, he only said we do not swing. I was surprised people received it so well because it was a lot of like between the lines, real shit, but there's a lot of real shit that I did see some people, some of that one response video of a dude who was like, this is not my marriage. This is not my ideal relationship. And some people did feel that way. I expect there to be more. That's the problem. We're all trying to have a one size fits all standard. Why don't you need to comment on somebody else's choice? It's like whatever it says. And you said like how many people do we know that's had a successful marriage in a traditional context? Like, so obviously there's something wrong. Like we were talking about this just yesterday. Like if someone told me there was a 50% chance that your money, you would lose your money if you invested in something, I would like kind of try to figure out a way to make it work for me. I wouldn't do it the way everyone else was doing it who were failing at a 50% rate. What is your guys' relationship? How do you define the language around it? As far as life partnership versus marriage? Yeah. Life partnership? Yeah, for sure. For sure. Yeah. You're like the one for marriage. I kind of established that pretty early. Yeah. We didn't want to put all like the baggage in the wait on marriage. Yeah. I think that's really unhealthy. It's like, okay, now we're going to get this like approved by the government. It's like, so it really holds on my weight in my eyes. It's like more so making sure that we protect ourselves and understand that people understand that we're serious about our commitment to each other. I don't think having a doctorate makes you a doctor. It's the years that you put in, the passion that you have for medicine and those letters communicate to people, this is what I am. Yeah. But like that's not what makes you incredible at your job. Exactly. That's amazing. Yeah, cause it's like, it's a way of like, when you say, when I say to someone like, oh, this is my fiance, this is my wife. You know, people are already like, they put a little respect on that, you know what I mean? Like, oh, respect on that. They can say, but we're doing shows or something. I'm like giving up for my husband. Like instantly they turn into these weird like, oh, now I'm really into him. Like it's super weird. Do you guys think that marriage is something couples should aspire to? Is it hashtag goals? I don't think marriage is hashtag goals. I think we, it's, because of society, we put so much weight on marriage and we totally forget ourselves. I see so many people do that. They're looking for someone else to like be the foundation of their happiness or to complete them and without figuring their shit out. So, yeah, I think connection, true connection without jealousy, without all these negative emotions is goals, honestly, yeah. What about you? Wait, what about you? No, I agree, I agree. I think when you put that title on it, it seems like the job is done or something. And I think that's the problem. What I liked about the Will and Jada thing is they show that it's an ever-changing thing. And a lot of people don't wanna adjust when life changes. That is what I think creates the conflict because then it's like, you're not loving me the way that I want you to, so this doesn't work. And I actually, I tweeted this the other night. But now I was saying that a lot of people want unconditional love, but they really don't understand what that shit means. Like unconditional love, like do you really know what that means? That's what Will is saying. There is nothing that Jada can do that is gonna make me not love. I feel uncomfortable with the term unconditional love. Maybe that's just my super logical brain being like, everything has conditions and conditions are healthy because it should never be a given. Like, I don't even like the concept of loyalty for that reason, because loyalty says that I will stick by you no matter what. But I only have one life to live. You know what I mean? But how good does loyalty feel? I don't think that, I think choice feels better to me. I wouldn't want someone to stick by me just because I was there first. I want you to choose me because I'm the best option because I make sense, because I'm adding value to your life. And so the notion that, well, I'm loyal to you versus nah, like I fuck with you. That's more what I find as a feeling of love. I feel like choice feels like love and unconditional love to me just seems like an unrealistic expectation. Because if you killed my mom, you probably wouldn't like it no more. We'll be honest with you. Yeah, I love you. I mean, I think marriage is, it's definitely goals. I think that if we redefine what marriage is, then it could be really what everyone is striving to be. I think most people, when they hear marriage, they just think of the title. And marriage is so much more than the title. I think it's a certain devotion that you have to each other. It's symbolic. It's like, we're like partners and to the world and to the government standards, this is how I'm gonna show that. I hate that it's a method of quantifying the value of a relationship. And I almost hate participating in that, in us. Yeah, but it helps though. It does help, but I hate the fact because I know some 17 year olds who are in a healthy relationship that battles what some of my aunts and uncles have been married for 40 years have. Like the mutuality, the respect that they have for each other, to me, that is a better example of love. But like marriage is the benchmark of love. Like every time that a couple is like, we've been married for 50 years. Everyone's like, oh. But are they happy? Versus the couple who was happily married for 10 years and they decided to split amicably. We don't applaud. It's like, if it ends, then it couldn't have been happy for that moment. Yeah, I feel you. So it's like, yeah, I feel torn about a lot of it. And I feel torn to participate in it in some capacity, but. But you have to. I have to. You have to. I'm glad to, because I would have chosen you regardless. No, I'm not saying you have to get married. No. I'm just saying that you have to participate. No, I'm just saying that you have to participate because it does age you. It does age you in a business world. Yeah. Being married is going to help you. It's going to help you describe a relationship. And I don't think that selfish or like shallow at all. Like we do anything for, we do things that we don't necessarily want for anything for our jobs or our careers. Being an entrepreneur or anything. So I think it's totally healthy to use things to your advantage, to operate in this world the best way you can. And it's a business, it's a partnership. So anything else you go into business, there is some sense of expectation to make it run smoothly. I think it is, it's dope. I like being married. I love being married. Yeah. To you. What spawned the marriage question? Because you guys did it young, right? I don't know. Who's the next step? Yeah, we had moved to LA together. I think we were really happy with this career and where our lives were going. And it just made sense. I think we knew we wanted to be with each other. And we saw the beauty in our unity. Like things started to, not even to sound all super divine, but there's nothing like fun. And I'm sure you guys can relate. Like everything just seemed to blossom in a way that individually it just didn't do. We came together and he was able to balance out. Not that I'm not whole. I don't mean as a person, but I just mean their strengths to having another person to help enhance everything that you do. Yeah, there's nothing, no better agreement than partnership. You can't get any more on the same page than having two minds come together. Cause when you have a third or a fourth or having many more, it's more likely for chaos. So I think that's the root of all ideas, all creation is to have that like mind between two people. Like to your point, everything in my life went up. Like in the partnership, it's somehow enhanced every single aspect of my life. And so I can't even fathom coming home and having to like download my day with someone that I haven't been going through it with. Because you know, you have somebody like, when you have a significant other that, let's say you don't work with, you still get to bounce off and lean on when you're feeling down, but there's a certain level of like understanding. Like I'm in there with her, I'm in there with you, you know, when it comes to like your videos, your ideas, their birth, where we birth them together, we move them together, we shoot them together, we edit them together. So it's like, when you're feeling heavy, I can understand that heaviness because I've been working with it. You know what I mean? And it's like, there's a different level of leaning cause we're leaning on each other now. It's not like you coming home and being like, man, so this happened today, boom and just throwing it on me. It's like, no, we did it together. Versus singing it'd be real to the, to your point. I mean, I don't know, I've been great working with, regardless with anybody that I work with, you know what I mean? Everywhere I work, I shine, but you know, this, this situation definitely like showed me like, I can work with a partner cause I didn't think I could do that with a significant other, ever. And I've had an easy person to work with. Hell no. Yeah. You saw how many times she got up and moved with that. Yeah, go for it, yeah. And smile. Kevin, give me a favor. Can you take a conversation with like a person here? Like a smile, like laugh, just need a, like, whoever's, we're not even going to be done. But we're supposed to be done, but that's, that's Jadae's, but I made it. Can you pick it up? Or can Jadae pick it up? What? Just pick it up. Do you guys, are you guys committed to life? Like how Will and Jadae were like, we're, we're in this for life. Like we made a decision. Are you guys at that place? I mean, that's definitely the goal, but I think we also understand that the only healthy way to take anything is day to day. You know what I mean? But with an understanding, right? You know. That's our goal, but. But like you said, if he kills my mom, it may be a little weird for us for a day. But as long as our, the core of who we are doesn't like completely change in terms of our morals or like respect or, you know, loving people that treat people, you know, right? Yeah, within reason. So realistic forever, you know. I think I'm in, I think I'm put all my chips in, you know? I think I'm in, I think also, I'm also, you know, every day is a new day. Yeah. And so, you know, if you were to go and kill my mom. Why is that the thing for all of this? It's a wrap. Oh, it's a wrap. I thought you meant like you were shrugging like. No, no. What did she say? She can't be really negative. No, it's a wrap. I'm just saying, I'm saying, I'm saying that like every day is a new day. So right now, I choose you. Yeah. And right now, you know, I'm in this for life. And that's just what it is. And if there's anything that we go through, you work through it. And from that perspective, that I've chose you as a life partner. I will say like, we got into this argument maybe like a month ago. And you went to like, I'm not sure if you're gonna want to marry me. I don't know if you want to be, God, that's it. It's imitation of him. So like, there you go. Like, who are you? Yeah, I don't know. We are minimum two years away from this conversation. At this place, based on what we've built, you have built a two to five year cushion of like, if you are a dick from now till 2021, like, you're good. In 2021, I'm gonna be like, okay, this phase is lasting a real long time. Let's reevaluate. So you've built up a lot of like equity in the company. You've built up a lot of loyalty. Is it a lifetime's worth? I don't know what that looks like yet. So do we all agree that it's kind of a little unhealthy? Yeah. Yeah. A little unhealthy to promise forever. Yeah. And I think, but I think that we're all kind of saying the same thing. Yeah. It's like, I think that's what we all want. That's our goals. Right. But we understand that. Amen. It happens. Right. And if I'm not happy, like, this can't continue. But that's the thing, like if you go into a marriage in a traditional sense and say forever, people have that, oh, well, I can kind of do whatever and I can let myself go. And then it creates that environment for things to go south. But when you're honest, it creates a sense of, let me keep myself together because I understand that this is disposable. If, you know what I mean? It just helps you keep yourself together, just really recognizing what everyone kind of knows because you can go into it saying forever and 50% of those people still don't do that. So. Yeah. So it's just like our intent is to go as far as this can go. And that's just what it is. And I don't think marriage defines that. And I don't want anybody out there that's thinking about marriage defining their relationship to think that that's what the goals are. And then there's so many more things that you need to wrap up before you just think of marriage. Marriage is a layer. Yeah. It's just a part of it, you know? It's like, cool, yeah. I'm good here with this foundation where it's just put the metal on. The metal on, yeah. The gold metal. You know what marriage is? Marriage is the WWE belt. Like you get it, but they can take that shit away. You know what I mean? It's not an Olympic medal where it's like yours forever. You gotta keep earning that belt. Yeah, you gotta keep going in and earning that belt. Your nest? And don't you forget it. Cheers to that. Yes. It's bad luck for you to cheer, Shani. So you get out of here. Now you can tell they're plastic cups, but it's sad. They didn't even add like post-production cups. Exactly, exactly. I put in some dings in there. Yeah, I used to think about you when I had no one to talk to.