 Colgate dental cream to clean your breath while you clean your teeth and help stop tooth decay and Luster cream shampoo for soft glamorous Corressible hair bring you our miss Brooke starring Eve Arden It's time once again for another comedy episode of our miss Brooks under the direction of Al Lewis Well, this is National Pickle Week and among others who celebrated the occasion was our miss Brooks who teaches English at Madison High School I celebrated National Pickle Week. All right by getting myself into the prettiest pickle. You've ever seen It all started innocently enough when my landlady and I sat down to breakfast last Thursday morning There's your cereal Connie Now tell me dear have you made any plans for your vacation next month? Nothing definite, Mrs. Davis Perhaps it's just as well not to plan too far in advance. Who knows what summer may bring you might even elope Have you ever thought of that Connie many times Mrs. Davis? I do it in a minute too if it weren't for a stubborn little streak in me Which keeps insisting that it's no fun to elope by yourself. I Didn't mean by yourself Connie. What's wrong with mr. Boynton for submitting the outstanding question of the week We are sending Mrs. Margaret Davis a lifetime supply of Dutch boy paint. I Wish I knew what was wrong with mr. Boynton. All he talks about lately is his impending vacation in South America South America what a wonderful idea and it simplifies everything it does of course if mr. Boynton is going to South America That's where you have to go the thought has occurred to me Mrs. Davis, but there's one thing that stands in the way transportation transportation. Yes, one of my water wings has a blowout Don't be discouraged by your present financial state Connie I'll go make some tea and read your tea leaves in a little while Maybe there'll be some good news in your cup. Why at this very moment lady luck may be camping on your doorstep Well, don't sit there lady come on in Thank you most generous and observant pupil sit down Walter and have some toast and jelly What kind of a plant is that you're holding? It's a rare black orchid mr. Brooks here an orchid must have cost you quite a bit of Money, Walter. Pish-tush the blossom cost me nothing Besides, this is no time to concern ourselves with petty monetary considerations I'm going to be rich mr. Brooks wealthy beyond all dreams of avarice the fabulous treasures of the universe are within my grasp Say buddy, could you spare a round-trip ticket to South America? I'm serious mr. Brooks I've discovered uranium uranium where on my shoe Who's your boot black It's no joke mr. Brooks. I made the discovery in the chem lab. We got a brand new Geiger counter and it's By the way, have you ever used a Geiger counter? I haven't had to Walter very few of my pupils are named Geiger I'm afraid you don't understand a Geiger counter is an instrument that measures the number and intensity of emanations from radioactive substances sounds terribly talented But how did you get mixed up with it? Well, I climbed on a desk to fix a light bulb and my shoe got near the Geiger counter You should have heard it it almost blew its top that means uranium's on my shoe now the way I figure it all I've got to do is retrace my steps of the past few days Wouldn't it be easier to just start mining your shoe? Please miss Brooks. No, you've got to help me You see the counter is schooled property and can't be removed from the building without mr. Conklin's permission But if a teacher were to ask him not me walter I'd like to assist you in this project But now is the wrong time Tuesday I knocked a bowl of soup into his lap in the cafeteria and last week. I dropped a typewriter on his foot Oh Say it's almost 8 15. I better park this orchid in the icebox and get ready to leave Have a glass of milk. Walter. I'll just be a minute. Okay, miss Brooks. Oh It's you Connie the tea is almost ready. I'm afraid I won't have time for the reading Mrs. Davis I just want to put this in the icebox. My what a lovely stalk of asparagus Don't let walter den here you say that this happens to be a black orchid Oh But you shouldn't put that in the icebox Connie. It won't do anybody any good there Why don't you take it down to school with you and give it to mr. Conklin mr. Conklin? Yes, you told me yourself. You've been naughty lately Maybe this little gift would make up for your recent habit of dropping things on him say it might at that Although I wouldn't want walter to find out that I gave away his present Walter wouldn't mind besides he won't know anything about it I'll just put the flour into this box that the clean laundry came in tie it with this red ribbon and Presto, you've got a peace offering for your principal. Thanks, Mrs. Davis I'm sure nothing could make him happier unless I was tied up in the box Gosh miss Brooks. I wish you'd reconsider my proposition about that Geiger counter If you'll just get his permission to use it, I'll make you a 50-50 partner and whatever we find It's a more than liberal offer walter, but I'm afraid I can't take advantage of it right now I'm trying to figure a good method of stowing away to South America Well, all right miss Brooks, but I hate the thought of passing up a passable bonus of $10,000 offered for discoveries of uranium I know walter and I can't say that it's altogether impossible, but as far as the immediate futures concerned Did you say $10,000? And if it's a big field we might even get ten times that much open the throttle Casey and point me at mr. Conklin's office I've finished straightening up your office. Thanks Harriet run along child. Isn't there anything else I can do you can leave me alone? I'll get to your first class daddy. You're irritated this morning Harriet. You're another Ellery Queen It so happens that some bandal broke into my garden trampled my flowerbeds and stole a rare black orchid I just found out about it myself I've been nursing that plant along for seven years I was planning to give that orchid to your dear mother. It's her birthday today. You know, yes I know now. I'll probably have to buy a present for the old. It's a hard gift If I ever get my hand on the scoundrel who'd enter Good morning, mr. Conklin. Oh, it's you. Hi, miss Brooks. Hello Harriet I was just leaving the office miss Brooks trying to cheer daddy up a bit. Well, you he's rather low this morning I'll see you at lunch daddy. Bye. Bye Well, mr. Conklin, isn't this a bright and cheerful morning be brief miss Brooks What brings you to my office? I just came in to leave this little gift gift. Yes, sir May I put it on your desk? If you think you can do so without knocking the typewriter off on my foot again What else mr. Conklin? I should like your permission to borrow the Geiger counter from the chem lab Geiger counter I believe that's what it's called. It's used to indicate the presence of uranium Miss Brooks, are you planning to pelt me with an abomb? Certainly not mr. Conklin. I couldn't even lift an abomb But I've heard that there's quite a reward for discovering new uranium deposits and I thought I'd kindly leave the premises but mr. Conklin I I am in no mood to discuss this nonsensical project at this moment I've had a most difficult morning nay a shocking morning. What happened mr. Conklin? I don't know how versed you are in things botanical miss Brooks. Oh, I'm pretty versed Several years ago I purchased a rare plant for the first few years it failed to bloom I tried everything finally I ceased to rely on the hit or miss methods of plant propagation employed by a bunch of buzzing bees and I pollinated that plant personally Do you realize what that entailed? Of course you had to smear your feet with honey and jump from pedal to pedal No miss Brooks, but there are other backbreaking procedures which I pursued faithfully for seven Long years until finally my efforts bore fruit you became the father of a lemon tree Wrong again an orchid plant a black orchid plant Just yesterday it started to bloom and I said to myself You're a lucky man Osgood tomorrow this lovely flower will blossom just in time for your wife Martha's birthday And then do you know what happened this morning? Yes. I mean no Some van will stall it Well, I guess I better be running a lot Miss Brooks, where are you taking that box? I thought you said it was a gift Oh, it is a gift mr. Conklin, but not for you. That is not actually it's for mrs. Conklin her birthday You know just a little remembrance. Well, you can leave it here. I'll take it to her after school I'd like to see what it is before Oh, no, I I'd rather you didn't see it mr. Conklin. That is well, it's uh underwear That's all right. We share a dresser, you know Now put it down and get your classroom, but miss this miss Oh Uh one thing before you go if you should happen to hear any of the students or faculty for that matter Discussing a black orchid. Would you please make a confidential note of the party's name? Confidential. I won't even read it to myself Now in this book starring Eve Arden will continue in just a moment, but first here is mern smith Now tests published in authoritative dental literature show that when teeth are brushed right after eating Colgate natto cream stops tooth decay best two years research at five leading universities Hundreds of case histories shows that when used as directed colgate natto cream stops tooth decay best Yes exhaustive tests show the colgate way best to prevent decay Better than any other home method of oral hygiene known today based on both clinical and x-ray examinations The colgate way stopped more decay for more people than ever before reported in all denifers history Even more important. There were no new cavities Whatever for more than one out of three who used colgate dental cream as directed think of it Not even one new cavity in two full years No other dentifers paste or powder ammoniated or not No other dentifers has proof of such results The best results ever reported for a dentifress of any type So always use colgate to clean your breath while you clean your teeth and remember when you follow the colgate way Colgate dental cream stops tooth decay best Well, my morning classes passed without any undue noise from the principal's office So I assumed that mr. Conklin hadn't found time to open the box containing his own black orchid So thoughtfully provided for me by walter denton when lunch period arrived I hurried to the biology laboratory to let mr. Boynton in on the ground floor of my predicament Busy mr. Boynton. Not at all mr. Brooks. Come on in before we go to lunch. There's something I'd like to talk to you about It's really silly. I guess but I was rather embarrassed this morning embarrassed It all started when walter denton came to pick me up and told me some ridiculous story about finding uranium on his shoes Oh, that isn't completely ridiculous mr. Brooks as a matter of fact It was more or less confirmed in the chem lab by the reaction of the geiger counter You mean that walter did actually step into uranium? Well, not necessarily. It could be some similar radioactive substance You realize of course that the geiger counter is an extremely sensitive instrument It'll even pick up emanations from your radium dial wristwatch all the way from fishers pawn shop It's a wonderful invention and while walter's shoe may not necessarily indicate the presence of any large field nearby It's still a rather provocative incident. I'll say it is half of ten thousand dollars is very provocative If one were to discover some uranium one would never miss the money it cost for a summer vacation would one Well, I should think not I'm going to south america myself South america That's funny. I'm going to spend my vacation down there. You too What a coincidence When are you leaving the day school ends june 23rd? You too What boat are you taking the ss brazil you too? What cabin will you be? Oh, no It just meant that if we're going to be in brazil at the same time it ought to make it very pleasant for both of us They say the nights down there are very conducive to romance Yes, I've heard something of that effect in fact on most june nights in brazil The stars seem to be so low in the sky that you can reach out and touch each other Please mr. Brooks. I I I don't like to change the subject but not much you don't That's all right. Mr. Boynton brazil can wait. What is it you wanted to say? Well, I'd like to show you just how the geiger counter reacts Mr. Keller has a tiny sample of uranium in the chem lab. It's usually under lock and key though and Hi, mr. Brooks. Mr. Boynton. Oh, hello. I just dropped by to take another look at the geiger counter Eh, did you tell mr. Boynton about the swell black orchard? I gave you mr. Brooks I was just about to Walter gave me a fine black orchid this morning, mr. Boynton a black orchid Say that mighty rare must have been cultivated for about seven years most likely in a hot house This one is hotter than that Walter I don't usually give away presents But I think you ought to know that in trying to get on mr. Conklin's good side I gave him the black orchid you gave mr. Conklin I better get a glass of milk. I don't feel so good Just a minute young man. Why did you steal that flower for mr. Conklin's garden? It wasn't really stealing. I was only getting even every time mr. Conklin passes our house He strolls through the gate and gloms a rose for himself Well rose glomming isn't orchid glomming Besides, why did you have to make me the fence the fence receiver of stolen good? I've been reading a lot of Chaucer lately I'm sorry about the whole thing mr. Brooks, but tell me what did mr. Conklin say when he saw his own orchid Luckily for both of us. He hasn't opened the box yet. Well, and maybe if someone could get into his office you too That's just what I was thinking you too I just saw Harriet in the hall of course she doesn't know about what I did but she told me your dad went shopping Then maybe we can remove the plant before he comes back exactly and I've got a scheme that'll make it impossible for old marble head Mr. Conklin To incriminate any of us Are you with me? What's the layout Louis? I snipped the orchid off at the bottom it's still got a long stem see now as soon as it gets dark We can sneak back into his garden stick the stem in the ground and when he sees it tomorrow He'll think something was wrong with his eyes this morning And then when he snips it off he won't know it has no roots Walter you're a genius But mr. Conklin's bound to find out it has no roots when another orchid fails to grow Maybe so but in seven years we can cook up a dilly of an alibi I'll keep a watch here at the door miss Brooks. All right, mr. Boynton now hurry walter We've got to get that box off mr. Conklin's desk before he gets back. Okay, miss Brooks There I've got it. He's coming down the hall. We better get out of here It's too late. He'll see us quick. Get rid of the box. What box the one you're holding walter Here you are mr. Boynton. All right. Yeah, I don't want this Here miss Brooks. Here's a nice orchid for you for me. How sweet of you miss. What am I saying? Here you take this walter. I'm allergic keep it Quick quick miss Brooks toss it out the window the window. Where is it? Oh right here open. Thank goodness There you go. Hello. What's everybody doing in miss Brooks? May I inquire what it was you just threw out of my window? Who me? That is your name, isn't it Brooks? Or do you shot put under a nom de plume? Well, I do remember tossing something out, but it it was just a little bug a bug. Yes, sir That's just what it was. Mr. Conklin a bug. We all saw it didn't we mr. Boynton? Oh, yes. Yes, it was a bug mr. Conklin in my office. What sort of a bug was it a beetle a ball we've three of them were building a nest A nest? Well a hut or whatever it is they live in Well, we will live in cotton balls. You must get awfully tired of watching football games, don't you? Pre-doing in my office. Well, sir, we just came in to wish your wife a happy birthday You came in to wish my wife a happy birthday. Yes, sir. Happy birthday to her. Happy birthday All quiet! And I might as well tell the truth. I wanted to give Mrs. Conklin her present myself That's why we entered your office, but then when I heard you coming I became nervous and tossed it out the window Oh, well, that's easily remedied. We'll just work out and pick it up now But if there's nothing in it, but underwear, I he's not in front of mr. Boynton You see that was a little fib too mr. Conklin it it isn't underwear. It's something for the house You see I wanted you to be surprised, too That's right. That's what mr. Brooks told us. Yes, sir. She wants you to be surprised, too Oh, oh, well, that's different something for the house, huh? Mrs. Conklin's been talking about new curtains for the dinette. Could this be curtains? It could be for us Please mr. Conklin if you'll just hand it over I'll be eternally in your debt you are now But if it pleases you to surprise us then take it but whatever you do don't come over too early I'm not going to give mrs. Conklin my gift until after dinner. Oh, that's perfect. You'll be good and busy inside That is goodbye now The cafeteria is about to close daddy aren't you going to have lunch? I had to bite downtown Harriet when I bought your mother her birthday present Oh, what did you get her daddy a radium dial table model clock so she can see what time of night it is without waking me I took it home before I returned to school $15 I paid for that clock. She'd better like it I hope you hid it someplace where she won't find it in advance. You know how inquisitive mother is about her presents I'm well aware of your mother's little idiosyncrasy Harriet. I hid it. All right I buried it in the little sunken toolbox out in our garden This is one present nobody could find without a geiger counter Get off that driveway walter Here's the gate to the backyard Now show us about where you got the orchid walter and I'll dig a little hole for it and put it back All right your mr. Boyden. It's over this way Bring the box. What's that box you're carrying walter this? Oh, this is the geiger counter I figured if we get away with this flower deal we can get away with borrowing the counter for one evening Oh, great. Now. I'm the co-owner of a hot geiger counter I wonder how to hatch. He is in the summertime. I'm Oh, don't worry miss brooks. We'll be through with this job in a jiffy and then we can do a little prospecting Oh, uh, stop right here mr. Boyden. I think this is pretty close to where I got the flower. All right walter Please mr. Boyden has nothing to get so excited about That wasn't me No It's a geiger counter This is where I must have stepped Miss brooks were rich South America take me away Mr. Boyden digs some more Wait a minute. I've uncovered some sort of a toolbox. What's this package? In it. Listen It's ticking It must be a time bomb A time bomb, but who would want to blow up mr. Conklin? Who wouldn't? I mean if there's uranium around here this bomb could have been planted by someone who didn't want any of us to get it That's right, or it could have been placed by some crackpot who wants to see our civilization survive Listen It's ticking louder quick. Give it to me. Here's a full watering can. This should stop it There it stopped you've done it miss brutes. Oh, you certainly have miss brooks I don't know what it is. She's done, but I'll bet I'm against it Mr. Conklin. Oh, this is one time you won't be mad at us. Miss brooks just stopped the ticking Well, she certainly did sir. She threw the whole box right into the watering can you see? It isn't making a sound Indeed it isn't But then after they're submerged in water for a while very few $15 table model clocks are capable of making any sound $15 table clock Yes, miss brooks Contained in this soggy gift wrap box is my right birthday present Well, is there any message you'd like to convey? All together gang happy birthday to you Happy birthday to you There's our miss brooks returns in just a moment, but first dream girl dream girl beautiful luster cream Tonight yes tonight show him how much lovelier your hair can look after a luster cream shampoo Luster cream world's finest shampoo No other shampoo in the world gives you k-doomits magic blend of secret ingredients plus gentle lanolin Better than a soap better than a liquid luster cream is a dainty cream shampoo Leaves hair three ways lovelier Fragrantly clean free of loose dandruff glistening with sheen soft manageable Even in hardest water luster cream lathers instantly No special rinse needed after a luster cream shampoo So gentle luster cream is wonderful even for children's hair Tonight yes tonight try luster cream shampoo Dream girl dream girl beautiful luster cream girl You owe your crowning glory to A luster cream shampoo And now once again here is our miss brooks Well when we showed mr. Conklin that his black orchid was still intact and I promised to reimburse him for the ruin clock He calmed down a bit and his complexion returned to its normal color purple After he had dismissed us I slunk back to my room and fell into a nice peaceful stupor plumber However, I awoke in the morning with a very disquieting thought The fact remained that somewhere somehow walter dentin had stepped in uranium Mr. Keller the chemistry teacher had verified that so when walter arrived to pick me up I hastened to reaffirm our partnership We are still partners aren't we walter how you bet miss brooks mr. Conklin didn't see the geiger counter at all Good now today. Let's get a hold of a sample of uranium so we'll know what we're looking for At first you'll have to give me five dollars miss brooks Five dollars we're partners aren't we you put in five and I'll put in five mr. Keller just called to tell me That's what a sample costs. Well, why should we have to buy it? Couldn't we borrow it? Hey, look miss brooks remember I told you how I got up on the table in school to fix the light bulb Yes, but what does that got to do with the uranium sample in the chem lab? That's the uranium I stepped in what sure. That's why we got to put in five dollars each to buy the school a new sample Now I've got to go to south america if only to send you a tizzi fly Actually Our miss brooks starring eve arden is produced by larry burns written by al lewis lester white and joe quillen With the music of wilbur hatch under the direction of morris carlton Mr. Boynton is played by jeff chandler mr. Conklin by gale gordon others and tonight's cast were jane morgan dick crana and gloria mcmillan For a beauty bath that brings you glamour from head to toe get bath size palm olive soap Yes, ladies for velvet smooth beauty lather that caresses your skin Leaves your whole body glowing with a warm blush of fragrant loveliness Enjoy a beauty bath with bath size palm olive It's perfect for your tub or shower Just the gentlest massage over your body create the glorious lather that leaves your skin Delightful yes for the most luxurious bath you've ever had get big bath size palm olive soap Our mystery liberally sprinkled with labs listen to mr. And mrs. North the exciting fun fact adventures of an amateur detective And his beautiful wife tune in tuesday evening over most of these same stations And be with us again next week at the same time for another comedy episode of our miss brooks bobleman speaking This is cbs the columbia broadcast