 Sensing that the stakes are high, Raiu begins to yell. Hey there lovers and friends, welcome. Raiu Brady and Jared Brady. Yeah. Let the baby gods be with us on this one. You gonna chillax? She's doing alright so far. Good job. Alright, let's dive into this. So today we're gonna do an update on what it's like to have a child. I don't know what's so funny and so now Jared's looking nervous. Why? I'm just, I'm just here. Wait. Good timing. Did you bring your bag out here? No, you didn't. Okay. Okay, well she just threw up on me and she's not happy. So I'm gonna go get a cloth. But in the meantime, check out the sponsor of this video, Squarespace. Squarespace. Squarespace. Kiss daddy. No. What's going on everybody? I am popping in to let you know that this video is sponsored by Squarespace. From websites to online stores to marketing tools and analytics, Squarespace is the all-in-one platform to build a powerful, beautiful online presence today and run that business you've been wanting to start. So if you haven't checked them out, go over to Squarespace.com slash Shambudi and start playing around for free. And when you're ready to launch, just go to Squarespace.com slash Shambudi and give that business a shot. Now back to the video. With her being six months, do you think that, because everyone says once your baby hits six months, it's gonna be the dream stage. Do you think that is true? Does that ring true at all? What do y'all think? What y'all think watching this baby? Does this look like the dream baby? Yeah, it's pretty bomb. Yeah. It's pretty fire. I like, because now she's into wrestling. Yeah. So I get to wrestle with her now. So I'm kind of excited about that stage. Is there any stages that you're excited to get to? All of them. For this point, moving forward, I'm excited to get to teen years. I'm excited for all of them. I think the hardest part for me, I was never a baby person. So when she was a newborn, I'm really proud of myself because I don't traditionally have a lot of patience and I feel like I grew a lot in that area in a short amount of time with her. You have to. Just have a moment instinct. You got, you have to. I mean, I can't throw out the window. Although there were some days that were worse. I don't think we hit that dream stage yet. That everyone's subscribed. I think once she starts being able to talk, that's when it's really gonna be fun for me. Okay, she only wants mom. With her characteristics or the things that you think her personality's gonna be. What's a pro and a con in here? She's very disagreeable. Yeah. So that's both a pro and a con. Something that she's got like an inventor's mindset and she's independent and she's exploratory. It's interesting too, because I'm even viewing in her, like her attachment style start to take place where she's very exploratory and she wants to try new things, but she'll try it and then like look back at me to see if I'm approving of it. And then once she sees that I'm a cool with it, she'll like go off. So I like that, but you know, I saw somebody put Bart Kwan said that like, his kid was like constantly trying to commit suicide for the first two years. Yeah. And I feel like with her a little bit, where you're like, you just, well whatever dangerous thing is possible, you will try it. And that scares me a little bit. And she's very confident, but I hope that confidence is in turns like sassiness. Yeah. When I think of Ryu, like I think at the beginning of Jackass. Like I just hear her been like, hi, I'm Ryu. And today is another episode of Jackass that she jumps off a couch or something. Like she just has no concept of consequence right now. So on one hand, I think that the confidence and the eagerness to get out there is a good thing. But I think without it being shaped and molded, it can really lead to some crazy stuff. So I'm excited about that though. I didn't want a passive observant baby. Yeah. I wanted a baby that was in the mix, ready to go and it has its own personality instead of just coming. I'm definitely going to get phone calls. Oh, for sure. Like, Ryu gathered all the kids up. Yeah. Has she affected our relationship from your perspective? Yes. It's kind of tough to say because pregnancy already did a lot of the changing. So I think like obviously the biggest one I think to me is our sex life. Do you think that it's only going to get worse from here? As she gets older? I kind of think the opposite. Yeah. Yes. How dare you? I'm right here. How you think you got here? You should be grateful. I think that it's a catch-towin' too because yes, she'll be able to entertain herself and there'll be more alone time between us. But at the same time, she's going to be older so she's going to be a little bit smarter. You know what I mean? So she's going to, you know, I have this deep fear of her just like popping in the room, you know? Because I don't think you're going to be the parent that establishes knocking on doors first. Oh. Is that something that you will prioritize? If it's important to you, I never thought about it before. Yeah, I like have grown up in a strict rule like that and I kind of like that. Yeah. I would never enter her room that way either. If she's, you know, and obviously she's a baby, I can't like knock on my door. Okay, that makes sense because this really bothers you about me. That's mommy's mic. You can't eat it. Stop it. All right, let me ask you an honest question about parental competitiveness. Do you feel that at all? Not yet. I'm sure I could later in the future, but not yet. Everybody kind of warned me that Ry was going to be attached to the mom until she starts getting, you know, older. Yeah. So I kind of went into this thing kind of knowing that I was going to be secondary in her idea of parents, you know? So I don't really feel any competitiveness yet. I hope I don't feel it ever, to be honest. Yeah. What about you? It's easy for me to say that I don't because I acknowledge that I'm her number one. But I'm her number one again because like I said this to Kray the day because I was, he was holding her and then I walked up and she was like jumping out of his arms and he was like, wow, you don't wanna be around me at all. And I was like, it's not that. It's just that you can't compete with me. I'm the life source. If I smell like the food, I am the food. Like the connection is just biological. So I know it feels really nice though to get that kind of love from somebody that whenever I walk up to her, she's really like drops everything and I'm super hyped to be around you. So I hope I don't get addicted to that feeling. Because like you said even, you're like, there's gonna be a time that she's gonna wanna be around us, period. Like she wants to be around friends and I grew up in a household where the parental competitiveness was at an all-time high. And I did not enjoy that experience at all. So I wanna be really, really cautious of not repeating that cycle. And you actually grew up in the same kind of dynamic too. Yeah. Well, you know, both of my parents were together when they were raising me. So of course there was a natural like, what's I be like living that better, you know? Yeah. So I don't know if we'll battle that. I hope not. I have to manage that part of myself and then work not to make a comment while I'm gonna make that comment right now but I'm making it because you asked. So sometimes like, you're so affectionate with her and this is obviously a point in our relationship where I've had to really be on you about more affection. And so like earlier today you were giving her like a ton of like tiny little kisses and I was like, have I been kissed today? Which I know that they're very different forms of affection and I even told you that like hugs and kisses for Ryu are good for her brain. They actually help to expand her brain capacity. So I'm happy to see you do that. So it's not like do that less with Ryu. It's like. It expands your brain too. Expands my brain too. But you actually, you really have been stepping it up in this area and I do see your efforts and so it could just be, it's pretty senseless jealousy. If anything, it's kind of like, it's a craving and just as soon as that craving comes on, I manage it and then I move on and I'm just as happy and connected and cool with it. So I'm not telling you this to make a note. I'm just telling you this to answer the question. Yeah, no, I understand. On the flip side, do you have ever experienced? No. No, I don't. Like I was saying earlier in the video, I kind of came into this kind of being aware that you were going to be number one and so I never, I don't know, I guess I kind of managed my expectations with that. And I know that me and her would develop a different relationship as she gets older. So I think I can get jealous as she gets older and she doesn't come to me for things and she only goes to you and things like that. I can see myself being worked up over. But right now, why she's just like, I don't even think she's fully aware of what's going on or who I am. Do you think she knows who you are? Yeah, for sure. She knows who I am, she knows who you are. Or does she think she just knows of you as like a thing? I don't know. Cause I think she has a concept of self now because she gets delighted when she's in the mirror. So I think that she started to put things together a lot more. But to be honest with you, when I was pregnant, I read the baby development thing week by week because I was just so excited. And then now that she's here, I'm just so consumed in the present that I don't really think about like what anything is. I'm just happy to be along for the ride. It's interesting how much our parenting styles fall along the gender stereotypes. Like where you take on a disciplinary role with her and in my mind, I'm like, she doesn't have comprehension. Why are we lecturing her? Like why are we, it was hilarious too because when she was like a newborn, you'd be trying to like reason with her. And I'm like, this makes no sense. Like she can't hear you, but I get, it's building habits. So that that's how you manage her when she's in a state of duress and of distress. So I personally, I'm just like, I also have a very big like just let her have it mentality. Like if she wants to play with the mic, let her play with the mic. If she wants to rip, let her do it. But not that. See, I'm just like, let her do it. She's gonna rip your earring out. So be it. No, not that. I like that though. I kind of appreciate the fact that we are different. I always knew it's funny because with my niece and nephew, I was like that with them. It's very like, what's the worst that can happen? And sometimes that was bad stuff. Just because I'm like, you'll learn, you'll explore. And I knew that I needed a parent on the other side who was more structured and a bit more mindful of like germs and safety. And I wouldn't expect that I would have gotten that in you. Yeah. Really? You're not a strict person. No, I don't think I'm strict on her though. Maybe I am, but I don't feel strict. I don't know. I feel like if people watch like, or people will say like, it's funny to see Jared in dad mode. Like there's just a very specific dad mode that you have. So that's what I mean. You go into dad mode. I don't necessarily know if I have like mom mode. Yeah. Activated yet. That's actually something that I will say that I'm kind of concerned about. I acknowledge that I want her to like me. And I grew up with my dad really saying how much he, in essence, didn't want us to like him because he had the motto of I'm not your friend, I'm your parent. And if you like me, I didn't do my job. So I just grew up with that mindset that like you're not supposed to be friends with your parent because if you are, then your parent is not doing a good job of like scaffolding you and raising you and teaching you the hard lessons. So with her, because it's so important for her to like me and I felt that importance really early on, I hope that doesn't dissuade me from being an impactful parent, you know? Yeah. Well, if it does, then I'll be the one to step in. What are some of your fears about the kind of parent that you do and don't want to be? Well, I don't want to be, I don't want to love her through fear. So when you say I'm strict, I kind of get like tense because that's how my dad was. That don't want to be that at all. I definitely want to let her know like that I'm there for her and I have her best interest so I'm not going to let her get hurt. So I should probably adopt a little bit of your style of parenting. You have that, you're very playful. You're very playful, you're very nurturing, you're very light with her. You guys again have this like unique bond but I also think that you do know when to switch into dad mode. So I wouldn't say that I made that note for you to like start to monitor yourself. I mean it's up to you though because at the end of the day, I also want to uplift the fact that your relationship with Ryu is something that I don't want to have a big hand in because it's your own to create. Just like I told you at the wedding, I said to you, I acknowledge your relationship with your grandma, with your mom, with your dad, with your brothers and I want to do whatever possible to give you space to allow those relationships to grow. So I know that my role in supporting your tribal communities or your outside connections is not for me to manage it and tell you how to do it but for me to give you the space so that the two of you can intuitively figure out what's right for you. So with her, I also want to be mindful that I'm not like trying to tell you what being a dad to Ryu is supposed to look like. Because I think that the two of you will figure that out based on your own interactions and energy. No, yeah. And it's a learning process. She's only six months old. We got time. We got time to figure it out and get advice from friends and family who've already done it. You know what I think is interesting though is like as much as people watch this video, it might be rolling their eyes, like the baby's six months old. I think it's really interesting to have had these conversations throughout and even to reflect on what we said before she was born and how I feel now. Now we'll say like one thing, like before she was born we did a video about swearing. And I find now that she's born and she's about to be a communicator in this world, I don't really want to swear around her. Because she's a sponge right now. She's a sponge and she's already aggressive. She's got an attitude. Yeah, so I'm like, I don't want to give you those tools because swearing is a powerful word when you have 20 other words that you could say instead. So when you've got a big Rolodex vocabulary, then a swear word might just feel like the best out of all those words. But if you don't, it's just the most convenient thing and you might end up overusing it and then it loses its power and anything becomes something that makes people look at her like she's low, you know low value system or low character. Yeah. And that's the thing is like, you know, swearing as children, it actually reflects back negatively on us too. Yeah. So yeah, she's not allowed to do the good work. Yeah. And I think even like I thought about it today because we early on had her in Insta stories and like some of the stories like with having explicit lyrics. And then my dad wrote like enough with having the baby in songs that have swearing. And I was like, oh my gosh, grow up, you know, oh my God, boomer. But then now I find myself also having that filter. Like I wish that you had clean versions of your songs. Yeah. Cause it's just like, yeah, maybe I don't, maybe I don't need her being represented by like that kind of language. Even though it represents me and I feel comfortable with it. Me, you're an adult. I'm an adult and I have the power of choice. And again, like I think it's indisputable that I could have used another word. I just like this one with her. It just might look like you have low discipline and you don't have another word that you even are capable of drawing upon. And I don't want people to think that. What has been the most surprising thing or change that you've seen in yourself or your relationships with other people? Since having a child, I've noticed that I am a little bit more opinionated. I found myself before her kind of being passive or letting people kind of like, if they rub me the wrong way, not really checking them in the moment. But I found myself a little bit, and I don't know if it has something to do with hormones or something, but I found myself a little bit more harsh, a little bit more sharp edged when it comes to my communication style. And I also found myself in a place where I'm a little more confident. Ooh. Yeah, it's interesting. I started noticing the change as you were pregnant. And then now that she's here, it's like full blown. Kind of like the attitude that's like, I don't need you for anything, you know? And I have my family, I have my situation. And so it is affected the way that I approach any relationship. That's really good. I think as Jared is starting a new album right now, I would love to see how that energy manifests in your music. A place that traditionally you do have so much fear and need in. Now that you can let go of that and just do it just for the sake of doing it, the way that you want to without fear of needing it to be liked by anybody, I think that that's a really powerful place to be. You know what I find myself doing a lot more? I'm a lot more protective of my joy. Especially when it comes to outside people. I have another life that depends on me to walk into a room and be like, but like she expects and needs joy out of me. So if I am doing things or I'm communicating with people that are messing with my joy, I'm just like, I can't. Not even that I don't want to because a part of my inner self torture or whatever it is my inner sadist may want to engage in negativity. But for the sake of Ryu, I know that I can't. And I also hope that I do that for you too. Yeah, no, definitely. All right, we started this video with a headband and two socks and now here we are. We made it though. Shout out to Ryu. We're gonna get to the high fives later on a couple of months on the line for being here. Shout out to my life partner for just being everything I could ever ask for and more. We had this conversation last night just about, I'm just, and why don't we talk about Squarespace? What's there left to say? 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