 When the narcissist realises they played themselves The narcissist had a good thing with you Their life was very convenient It fitted in well with their needs activities and plans It involved little trouble and effort and initially they were quite happy with the situation That's why they targeted you in the first place Because you had everything they wanted You were what they were looking for Narcissists typically look for superficial things They want people who are attractive People who have money power or success People who everyone else desires and wants and when they were with you They felt like they had that But as time went by They started to compare themselves to you They started to feel inferior to you Which made them very competitive It made them challenge you It made them desire to be more successful than you and this led them to turn against you It led them to devalue and degrade you They may even have tried to sabotage your success They may have tried to ruin your reputation because they felt like you were better than them They felt like you were stealing the spotlight away from them Your happiness and success made them feel very uncomfortable But in any relationship There are going to be arguments and disagreements That's when you work together to resolve it But narcissists are more focused on dodging their shame They can't deal with feeling like they made a fault or mistake So they tried to shift the blame onto you They tried to make you believe that you were the problem And they may have even smeared your name to everyone around you To get them to see you in the same way Even though the narcissists may have been the cause of the problem They cannot entertain that idea for long periods of time There is a small window where they do reflect And feel like they did something wrong But this doesn't last for long Because they can't deal with the shame Instead it triggers a narcissistic injury It makes them feel like you are attacking them So naturally They are going to do whatever it takes to defend themselves They are going to do whatever it takes to survive It makes them feel like they are in a fight for their lives Which is why they go to such extreme lengths Desperate people do desperate things So they react with narcissistic rage They try to intimidate you They try to make you feel like something is wrong with you When deep down They knew all along that they were the cause of the problem That's what caused the narcissistic injury Because they knew that they were at fault They are not going to entertain that idea for long periods of time They have weak fragile egos And they will do whatever it takes to protect them To protect their inflated sense of self-importance This leads the narcissists to do whatever it takes to destroy you By pointing out the problems or issues They feel like you have attacked them So now they want to disarm you They want to deprive you of the power to hurt them And they also want to punish you They want to get revenge They will do this by targeting your self-worth and self-esteem By making you feel like something is wrong with you And they will then try to get everyone else to see you in the same way They will start a smear campaign against you Because they want everyone to see you as this horrible person They want everyone to see you as someone who hurt or neglected them Because narcissists have a dualistic mentality They see things in black or white Where someone is either good or bad, right or wrong And for them to be right, you have to be wrong Which is why they will go to the ends of the earth To betray you as this person who didn't treat them right Because then it saves their reputation It allows them to play the victim role Which then gives them more attention It gives them more supply And then they can just sit back And watch everyone gas like you into thinking that you were the problem But this is where the narcissist plays themselves Because by doing this They've made it impossible for them to come back to you A narcissist will often leave when they used up everything you have to offer But when you get back on your feet And you become happy and healthier again That is when they want to return They want to partake in everything you have to offer But if they've started a smear campaign against you They've just shot themselves in the foot Because now they can't return to you Without looking like they're the ones who are at fault They said all of these things about you They made you look like a bad person So if they were to return to you It would either look like they were lying Or they would just look like fools Because if you're really as bad as they said you were There should be no reason for them to return to you There should be no reason for them to want to be around you So their only option is to stay away They can't run the risk of damaging their image of reputation They care a lot about what people think of them They will think of them They want to be seen as good people They want to be seen as someone who got taken advantage of They don't want to look foolish or naive They don't want to look like they were the problem So by doing all of this They've played themselves They've shot themselves in the foot Because now they can't return to you And if you've moved on and become happy and healthier If you've moved on and become more successful There is a moment where the narcissist does realise what they've done There is a small window Where they realise that they've just made a big mistake That's why they get so angry Because that brief moment of introspection Has triggered a narcissistic injury They realise that they made the wrong decision And although they may try to fight against it In the back of their minds it's still there They are shame based people Doing everything they can to avoid reflecting on their shame But they are also very obsessive people They can't let things go They will stalk your social media They will hear about you from other people And every time they see Or hear that you have moved on And you've become happier and successful without them It eats away at them It reminds them That they've just made the biggest mistake of their lives It's like they had the winning lottery ticket They could have won the jackpot But they just threw it in the trash And now all they can do is what you live your life While it eats away at them While it causes injury after injury Because they really can't take it They never thought that you would be able to move on without them They never thought that you would become happier and healthier They never thought that you would become successful If they had any idea that this was going to happen They would never have left you They would never have said all the horrible things about you They would never have smeared your name But of course A narcissist cannot reflect on this for long periods of time They have to fight against it They have to push it away So instead All you see is this closed off bit of person Who belittles you and validates your success You see this person who acts like there's so much better off without you When really That is nothing more than a coping mechanism And a defence mechanism for how they really feel Because deep down they know they played themselves They know they shot themselves in the foot And now they know there's nothing they can do about it They know that even if they did entertain those ideas It wouldn't solve anything So they remain in that state of being prideful and arrogant They act as though there's so much greater than what they actually are They act like they don't need you But that's really all it is It's just an act It doesn't change reality And the reality is That their life now sucks without you And every time they hear about you Every time they see you on social media It brings back those thoughts of how they screwed up Of how they threw their lives in the trash Which is something that they will forever deny But somewhere in their minds That idea does exist Which is why they're so angry Which is why they're so bitter and resentful towards you But rather than accepting their mistake They use projection and blame shifting They try to make you feel like you play them Rather than accepting that they play themselves Because they have to dodge the shame They have to feel like they made the right decision Their disorder is designed to block and deny the very things that they need the most It does this to protect them To keep them safe from danger or harm It's about survival But it only leaves them miserable in the end Thank you for watching I hope this video resonates with you Please like, comment, share and subscribe If you would like to donate My PayPal link is in the video description Coaching Inquiries You can email me at coaching.narc-survivor.uk Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon