 Hey everybody, it's Jo. So today we're gonna do a follow-up video to yesterday's video in which I talked to my husband about his reaction to my amputation and learning that I was gonna have an amputation. Family reactions can be pretty challenging and I got a question about this and it really got me thinking and so I thought maybe I'll interview another family member. So my dad's coming over today. We're gonna have some lunch and then I'm gonna ask him some questions about that. Telling your family and and people who are close to you, whether that be a partner or a good friend is hard, can be can be really difficult. Some people are on board a hundred percent support you no matter what and some people aren't and this is specifically related to elective amputations, you know, where maybe there are other options that aren't good and you're choosing this one. I was talking to my mom last night one thing that she said because she did have a difficult time adjusting she was amazing to me and she was so supportive, but she said make sure that you give people time and I think that that is very wise advice. Because initial reactions to the news were not fantastic. People tended to get very emotional. Understandably so. Ooh, I think that's my dad right now. I'm gonna continue this after we have lunch with dad. So I have my dad here with me. Hello. And I wanted to, like I said, introduce you guys to him and give him a chance to kind of share his experience of having his daughter have an amputation. Dad, why don't you share your experience with the world? Can I actually go back a little further first? Yeah, absolutely. The first time that I got involved where it was not good was when Julie came home and shared with me that you were gonna have to have an ankle fusion. And I was just angry at the medical field that you can't do something as simple as putting cartilage back in there. Yeah. And then as the years went on and all the pain and everything and then finally you came to me at one point and well actually over the last year or so you've been hinting toward I just want to cut off. I just want to cut off. Just cut it off. Yeah, no way. No way. No, I do. You know, yeah. You kind of helped me warm up to the idea. And so when you went up to see the surgeon, I was glad that I could go because I wanted to really understand what is this all about and is that really an option that makes sense? And I'll interject real quick for everyone watching. I did bring my family with me to the appointments because I feel like that would help them understand really what was going on medically. So they could ask questions as well. So that might be an option if your family's having a hard time adjusting to it. And so the surgeon was I don't want to say politically correct, but I think he was very cautious in how to advise because cutting the foot off, that is a one-way street, an ankle replacement, you can still do the amputation if that doesn't work. And so he kept saying either option is a good option. And so on the way home, Jordan asked me, so what do you think dad? I just advised her, you know, you can always do the amputation. You can't put it back on if that doesn't work. Yeah. And she listened and I felt pretty good the next day when she was saying, no, I'm going to do the ankle replacement. And then came the phone call after she had met with Helena, I think. Yeah. Let me pause here real quick. Who he is talking about is a fellow below the knee amputee who was so kind to meet with me in person and talk about what it's like to actually be a below the knee amputee and what her story was. And she was very open and honest with me and talked me through the process. And it was through that conversation. It's not that it changed my mind. It's not that, you know, she made me decide I want to have my leg chopped off. It was that in that conversation, I really realized that that is what I wanted all along. And that by scheduling the replacement initially, I was just trying to make other people happy. And this is what I really wanted and her conversation and her sharing her story and seeing her and, you know, her living her life wonderfully without a leg helped me see I could do this too. So that is who he's referring to by this person. And she said, dad, do you think I'm nuts if I if I change my mind? And I listened and I listened and I was definitely uncomfortable with it. But I felt she I felt Jordan, I felt you, I guess you're here, had done a lot of research and she really knew herself. And though I knew it was a really impossible decision for her, if it was impossible for her, who am I not to encourage and come alongside her? So it took me a little bit. But the day before surgery, I said, you know, you're doing, you're doing the right thing. It was a it was a journey. My wife and I talked about it a lot. And I've been excited because I can, I can see the excitement in Jordan, the expectation of what life's going to be after all this pain and that pain will end or subside substantially. And most people know that that is what happens in this particular direction. And she'll be able to maybe go jogging with me. You and the puppies. Yes. I wish my dad could hear the internet giving him a round of applause because that was awesome. Thank you, dad. If there is one thing that this whole process has made me even more aware of it's that I have truly such an amazing support of family because this was not easy for them to get on the same page with me. I'd like to share just a couple more pieces of advice when it comes to talking to your family. I think the biggest thing that I had to come terms with was the fact that even though sometimes my family was fighting me on the decision that I was making, it wasn't because they didn't care about me. It was because they did care about me. They didn't want me to go through such a life changing, painful, difficult thing if there was any other way. And it took me a while to clearly communicate to them, listen, I would not make this decision if there was any other option. I don't want to live my life without a limb. Like that was never in the cards for me. That was never something I wanted to do. And so the fact that I am choosing to do this should really tell everyone something about the amount of pain I'm in, the amount of frustration there is in my life because of this issue and because of all the surgeries I'm going through over and over again. If your family is not initially supportive of your decision, it may be because they do care and give them space, give them time, have those conversations with them. And even if you're comfortable with it and your dynamic works okay, maybe invite them to doctor's appointments, that was kind of a game changer for me. Kind of hearing the conversation and gaining a larger understanding and knowing that my surgeon was on the same page and was supportive of whatever decision I made, but that he was ready to amputate. And knowing that I wasn't crazy for considering this was helpful. So if you can bring your family to doctor's appointments, that might be a helpful thing. Another thing that I think could be really helpful is sharing what life actually looks like with whatever kind of amputation that you are facing. If you can talk with people like I was able to or share those people or those resources with your family if they're willing to talk to them or videos or support groups and show them that this is not the end of the world, that this is not the end of your life. Because my experience was that when I talked to a number of people, you know, outside of my family, like just in general, oftentimes the reaction was like, you can't do this. Like you'll ruin your life. This is the end of everything. Where to me, it was a beginning and I wanted to show people that like, hey, people live beautiful lives, amazing lives, fulfilling lives with this kind of amputation that I was facing, you know, you make it what you want it to be. And so if you can show your family examples of people who are doing that, I think that could be a positive thing for them and for you as well. I hope some of that was helpful. That's it for me today, guys. If you have video requests, leave them for me in the comment section. And if I can, I will absolutely do them or answer your questions, you know, directly. This video came off of a request and I was more than happy to do it. So I will look forward to your comments and I will see you soon. Take care of yourselves. Have a thin, breaking, tastic day and I will talk to you soon. Bye.