 Hey guys, it's Monica. I'm so sorry. I have been missing an action and it's like Try as I might it's like One thing after another It seems to me anyway, so I Really had all good intentions. I was gonna shoot a video over the weekend. I never I never did that I have a couple of videos in edit mode. I never had time to do that. I Just have been like it's been a crazy time frame right now and I think you know, my mother's going through some health issues and so I've been taking her for iron infusions and Even though they're they're an hour each there's five of them right and this spread out over a week and a half and Even though they're an hour and each they take like about three hours easy To do, you know by the time I get down there get my mother go over there get settled in She has the infusion then we you know, we go to leave and then we get back It's like it's almost it it feels sometimes like it's a half a day So I've been taking her out to lunch in the morning once we've been going out to lunch I took her shopping twice So she was able to do some groceries and stuff like that and she did really well. So that's good I'm very optimistic that this is going to help her because she's super anemic right now and And so that's just been really Very very time-consuming that on top of working full-time as you can imagine right the time constraints are very difficult when you When you have a full-time job and you are trying to you know Maintain your sanity your your life your home and all of that but So no excuse other than life gets in the way and I also struggle with the fact that Makeup is makeup and real life is real life and sometimes, you know, you make that decision I look at some of the makeup and I'm like on it's boring or the skin care after a while and And I struggle with being like super boring like who's gonna care about what lipstick I'm wearing or not, you know a type of thing and in reality when this and I know my channel is not Really that way but in reality, there's there's so many more deeper things to have conversations about You know struggling about taking care of your elderly parents Being in retirement age and still having to work full-time and now of course with the economy the way it is It's it's scary it because I had thought, you know, perhaps next year on my birthday I could work more part-time hours But with the economy, it's it's super frightening I mean, I don't know what it's like in your neck of the woods, but you know where I am our electric Company starting in August is doubling our fees for our electricity and gas prices of sky-high and food prices So, you know, we're thinking about economy but still living, you know I still have to drive to work at times and I still have to drive down to my mother's and There's still things that require getting in the car and driving somewhere That requires gas. So And you still have to have that balance and so sometimes I struggle with that balance of being a good daughter a good a good mom a good wife a good employee and Relaxing and having fun for myself. So I struggle with that balance sometimes. So that said this past weekend You guys all know it was father's day, right? And so jay went golfing saturday sunday morning He went golfing. He does this every sunday that he can And as long as we're, you know, able to do it and he can afford it and you know, we can afford it and all that It's a great relaxation for him so he did his golf on sunday and We ended up later in the day. We had been hard We weren't really too sure what the heck we wanted to do, right? So we had been hard And later in the day, we ended up going to the sand castles the The Hampton beach. I think it's the 21st or 22nd annual sand sculpture classic contest And so we went up there and and we made we I'm not a big fan of going up on sunday especially for this day because there's usually heavy heavy traffic And officially they've already done the judging and all that stuff. So there's tons of more people looking at the sand castles so but it was it was cold out and it was Overcast so we said, okay. Heck. Why not? So we did we went to Hampton beach. It was beautiful I'm gonna superimpose some some clips when I edit this so you can see You know, maybe just a couple of minutes of me and not me But of us walking around looking at the sand castles and and there was a number of people there, but it wasn't super crowded So hope you enjoyed that Yeah I know I kind of like that one Yeah It's really cool Oh Governor's choice Superhero slaying the dragon Details amazing Oh And then saturday, I forgot to mention saturday we did the most awesome bike ride so friday my mother had her second infusion and And that seemed to go really well and I talked to her saturday and you know, everything was fine. So Jay and I took our bikes We took our e-bikes and we went down to Salem where my mother lives and we went into Derry into the Derry the town of Derry in the town of windham in the town of Salem have interconnecting Bike trails off-road You do have some road crossings, but most of them off-road very scenic very nice places So we actually did that and and then we ended up going all the way down to this place called tuscan village, which is sort of a Live play and work community where they have condos and they have stores and you know And they have growth grocery restaurants and all that stuff and outdoor entertainment So we went there and we sat down and Jay ended up having a beer and popcorn But we sat outside and we vetched out and then we rode back to our car It was about 20 to 23 miles we did that day Which was really the first long ride for me this this season in one in one stretch So that was really that was really good and So that was our saturday. So instead of me filming saturday morning. I chose to do Wife, you know go out with Jay You know just take some downtime and do something that I really enjoyed because there's like a crazy crazy week And and then of course sunday the sandcastle is really awesome. So we've also been working on Some of you know that my dad Had a machine shop and he had it in the barn attached to our house So Jay and I live in a very small modest home It's actually a sears and robux catalog home that was I think the farmer owner purchased it in 1924 Something like that came off a train track train wreck. It was in a train wreck and he got a great deal on it. Anyways, so So you know over the years it's been modified We've had additions and all that stuff one of the things that it has is a big barn And the barn was converted to a machine shop where my dad ran his machine shop for 50 years And Jay and I never wanted to go in there and take anything out after my dad retired He kept saying come up and it just never happened. I know some of you know the whole story. So Long very long story shot We had started to tackle this project last year and it's been astronomical and this year full force so We've both been out there working our buns off, you know Cleaning the getting rid of stuff moving work benches Barrels and barrels and barrels of metal and stuff like that. So we've got it to the point where it is Other than three work benches that we decided we were going to keep their rough shape But we you know, it's going to be it's going to be a garage. It's not going to be living space so And we decided we're going to keep those we had the whole place emptied out and we had a concrete person Had some estimates and concrete and I didn't realize how expensive that would be but we had a concrete person come and pour concrete yesterday So we got that done Now it's drying and we have to replace two windows and two doors A door and probably the the front door out in the shop and then we'll be able to You know be able to put stuff in there like all the stuff that people normally have in their garage we have in our basement And so we'll be able to utilize that as storage space, which will then allow us to really declutter the house Which we've been doing for the last few years and finish the attic that we started because we never finished that So that would be the project. Um, I'd love to sell the house You know, I'd love I would love to sell the house and live in the motor home full time A motor home is old. It only has one slide. It's small has a lot of drawbacks in that sense, but Man, I would if I could convince Jay to sell the house and Let's just go live in a motor home and I would do it but He's not with me on that at this point in time. And I think you know, you you got to both be in the same Um in the same, you know on the same page when it comes to that So I'm I'm right now sitting in the car. I'm getting ready to go And I just thought I would try to shoot this video really quick I was going to do a covlog and I just I just got too nervous up driving and shooting So I'm still sitting out turn this around so you can see where I'm at So, yeah, so if you look out you can see My house you can see, uh, you know, it's just hip roof Very small old home and then I've got the big barn and I've got my motor home right there So, you know, that's what I'm kind of like looking at, you know, and I'm going to get ready to um To rock and roll Yeah, I get ready to rock and roll right Rock and roll to work is what I'm going to get ready to do. So I've got I've got um A couple of things this morning that I'm going to work on a presentation for Friday And I also have a class this afternoon. My most surgery is tomorrow morning at 7 30. I go in And I don't I don't know how it's You know, I don't know how it's going to work. I don't know Anything about it yet, of course, they have to keep going until they have the clear margin So I've been pretty stressed out. I got a new cbd product Which I'll enclose this picture on um, I got it from octally and um I I can't really do a full review on it yet because I I don't know but it's it's sort of more of a relaxation Gummies, I do like gummies. So I've been I've been I've been trying it and I've been researching some of the ingredients in it But um, yeah, this was sent to me complimentary, you know from the company bio octally network I'll leave all the information below but it's definitely Relaxes me. I think I'm going to take it tomorrow morning before my surgery So anyways, you know, here it is a video of nothing right just me jabbering um Yeah, so when I you know when I get in hopefully I can get my presentation done on friday The thing i'm super worried about about my most surgery is the location I probably will not be able to wear glasses, right? So I I I'm like thinking I'm gonna I have a class to teach friday on zoom which I may postpone it only because I don't know The doctor has prepared me for being quite swollen So Some people even get black eyes So how swollen I am but they've all said I'm not going to be able to wear my glasses and I don't have contact So I don't even know if I'm going to be able to see and my mother has her fourth treatment Tomorrow afternoon as well and I had planned on taking her her treatment is at 230 And then I'm thinking now jake's the backup, but she would prefer that I took it My sister's out of town so she can't take her so my mother would prefer that I do it But jay's the backup and I said to my mom I said I don't know how I'm how long it's going to be In the morning how I'm going to feel and I do know number one I'm probably not going to be able to see that well. So Anyways, whether I take my mother tomorrow or not. I don't know but Oh my gosh Yeah, so That's tomorrow everything on wednesday, you know, I'm like holy mackerel. I didn't want to have to do that and and This late in the season, you know, but where it's canceled from june 1st I didn't have any choice really to take to do it. I wanted to get it done And then we have of course july 4th of july coming up. We're going camping and Keep your fingers crossed The price of diesel is crazy and I think I mentioned after our memorial day camp out that we did That's the only time we've been out so far this year is memorial day We made a decision that we were going to top off our diesel fuel after every trip So that it wouldn't be like all of a sudden we're filling it 50 gallons, you know, or 100 gallons or whatever I don't even know how many gallons it takes So, you know, we've got a full thing of fuel, but we have We have 4th of july coming up and then we have bar harbor, which is the august trip. So Yeah And it's diesel fuel so it's worse than gasoline Anyways Yeah, so that's really that's really all about me right now is that's real my update Really a lot about nothing. I'm really worried about my mose and I'm worried about how that whole day is going to proceed How I'm going to look on the 25th my sister's having a birthday party Which I probably am not going to go to for her granddaughter And I also have my mother-in-law coming up, but she's not going to come to new ham sure She's going to arrive in massachusetts on the 25th, but she won't come up to new ham sure until the 8th so By that time, hopefully I won't be as swollen Oh my gosh, I don't know guys, you know, how do you juggle it all? Do you ever get to the point where you just feel like You can't juggle it all or you feel like I don't know if I i'm disappointing myself Or if i'm just disappointing other people But I just feel like I'm such a big disappointment in the sense that I can't I don't I don't feel like I'm Giving everything my all I feel like I I'm depleted I don't know if that makes sense You know, I just feel like there's more I could do or should do or or I'm expected to do and I I'm just depleted I'm just depleted And I keep trying to reduce myself and You know recharge myself and I just think that right now You know a lot of a lot of everything. I know you guys are all going through it too A lot of everything just weighs us all down. You know retirement. Hello My 401k in the is in the tube is in the tank. So Anyways, I'm going to stop complaining and I'm going to probably shut this down and um Oh, my arm is shaking holding the selfie stick. I was going to put it on the dashboard I'm going to get maybe a webcam that works really good on my car. So I can do some chit chatting, but that's it. I'm just going to upload this really quick. Probably you'll see it Wednesday morning Or tonight Tuesday depending and just to give you that update. So I'm alive and well I know many of you have sent me messages. I have it totally ignored my instagram page Totally ignored it. Um really terrible I am ashamed of myself But wanted to give you that update things will get better right now. They'll improve for all of us So I'm just going to work on my attitude as much as possible and try to get into the groove So next time you see me, I'll probably have a hunker bandaid on Anyways, bye guys