 Howdy! I'm Courtney Act and today we're going to open up on opening up relationships. Though it might not be for everyone it is something a lot of people are trying and with varying levels of success. Now an open relationship can be almost anything and really it's tailor made to the people who are in it but in its most basic sense it means a relationship that's different from the staunch tradition of just two people only having sexual and emotional relations with each other. Any variation from that is an open relationship as opposed to a closed relationship. Now I've been in a couple of open relationships in my time so let's go over some of the dos and don'ts. Do talk with your partner about what constitutes your open relationship and set some rules and guidelines. I call these the agreements. Do you want to know who your partner's having sex with or would you rather not know? Do you think you should be allowed to be Facebook friends with your lovers? Is going on dates with your partner's okay? Or is this like a casual sex only type of affair? Is it just one-offs or are ongoing sexual interactions okay? There's a long list of things that you need to sort out and you need to both feel happy and secure in those agreements. Those are the foundations you're building your open floor plan house on. There's no right or wrong answer it's just about what feels right for you and your partner and for that communication and being honest are key. In each of my open relationships there were completely different agreements based on what my partner and I felt comfortable with and these agreements changed over the course of the relationship as well. Do know that opening up a broken relationship won't save it. Healthy open relationships are for two or more people who know that they love each other and know that they both want something more than the traditional kind of relationship. Don't confuse opening up a healthy relationship with patching up or easing out of a broken relationship. Do make sure that you're getting tested regularly for all STIs. I mean let's face it STIs are a numbers game. The more partners either of you have the more statistical chance for being infected with something and no matter how open or understanding you are nothing makes the worst couples conversation started than a cold sore. Don't assume that your partner will just forgive breaking the agreements. Those agreements should be as strong and unwavering as the agreements to full monogamy. So don't misunderstand an open relationship for being a free-range fornication. Don't be shocked if you get jealous. A little jealousy is natural when we all get it sometimes no matter what kind of relationship we're in so look at it and acknowledge it. Even literally say I feel jealous and that's okay. Identifying that is really powerful. Talk about it with each other and move on. Do take note that when you're having sex with someone else you don't love your partner any less. Love's not like pie. More for one doesn't mean less for another. Then apply this logic in reverse when you're feeling jealous of your partner. Enjoy the fact that the person you love is having fun and sexy time with someone else. But also be aware of your actual boundaries because I know I've tried to over-rationalize a lot of my own jealousy in the past and that isn't healthy either. Open relationships are certainly not for everyone but if it's something that you and your partner are open to talk about it with each other and talk about your needs and your wants and see how you go. Are you in an open relationship or have been thinking about trying one? Tell us about it in the comments below. Bye.