 section 40 of the junior classics volume 6 old-fashioned tales this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org recording by phone the junior classics volume 6 old-fashioned tales Alice in Wonderland who stole the Tarts by Lewis Carroll the King and Queen of Hearts were seated on their throne when they arrived with a great crowd assembled about them all sorts of little birds and beasts as well as the whole pack of cards the nave was standing before them in chains with a soldier on each side to guard him and near the King was the white rabbit with a trumpet in one hand and a scroll of parchment in the other in the very middle of the court was a table with a large dish of Tarts upon it they looked so good that it made Alice quite hungry to look at them I wish they'd get the trial done she thought and hand round the refreshments but there seemed to be no chance of this so she began looking at everything about her to pass away the time Alice had never been in the court of justice before but she had read about them in books and she was quite pleased to find that she knew the name of nearly everything there that's the judge she said to herself because of his great wig the judge by the way was the king and as he wore his crown over the wig he did not look at all comfortable and it was certainly not becoming and that's the jury box thought Alice and those 12 creatures she was obliged to say creatures you see because some of them were animals and some were birds I suppose they are the jurors she said this last word two or three times over to herself being rather proud of it for she thought and rightly to the very few little girls of her age knew the meaning of it at all however jury men would have done just as well the 12 jurors were all writing very busily on sleets what are they doing Alice whispered to the Griffin they can't have anything to put down yet before the trials begun they're putting down their names the Griffin whispered in reply for fear they should forget them before the end of the trial stupid things Alice began in a loud indignant voice but she stopped herself hastily for the white rabbit cried out silence in the court and the king put on his spectacles and looked anxiously round to make out who was talking Alice could see as well as if she were looking over their shoulders that all the jurors were writing down stupid things on their slates and she could even make out that one of them didn't know how to spell stupid and that he had to ask his neighbor to tell him a nice muddle their slates will be in before the trials over thought Alice one of the jurors had a pencil that squeaked this of course Alice could not stand and she went round to court and got behind him and very soon found an opportunity of taking it away she did it so quickly that the poor little juror it was Bill the lizard could not make out at all what had become of it so after hunting all about for it he was obliged to write with one finger for the rest of the day and this was a very little use as it left no mark on the slate Harold read the accusation said the king on this the white rabbit blew three blasts on the trumpet and then and rolled the parchment scroll and read as follows the Queen of Hearts she made some charts all on a summer day the nave of hearts he stole those charts and took them quite away consider your verdict the King said to the jury not yet not yet the rabbit hastily interrupted there's a great deal to come before that go the first witness said the King and the white rabbit blew three blasts on the trumpet and called out first witness the first witness was the Hatter he came in with a teacup in one hand and a piece of bread and butter in the other I beg pardon your Majesty he began for bringing these in but I hadn't quite finished my tea when I was sent for you ought to have finished said the King when did you begin the Hatter looked at the March hair who had followed him into the court arm in arm with a door mouse 14th of March I think it was he said 15 said the March hair 16th set the door mouse right down the King said to the jury and the jury eagerly wrote down all three dates on their slates and then added them up and reduced the answer to shillings and pens take off your hat the King said to the Hatter it isn't mine said the Hatter stolen the King exclaimed turning to the jury who instantly made a memorandum of the fact I keep them to sell the Hatter added as an explanation I've none of my own I'm a Hatter here the Queen put on her spectacles and began staring hard at the Hatter who turned pale and fidgeted give your evidence said the King and don't be nervous or I'll have you executed on the spot this did not seem to encourage the witness at all he kept shifting from one foot to the other looking uneasily at the Queen and in his confusion he bit a large piece out of his teacup instead of the bread and butter just at this moment Alice felt a very curious sensation which puzzled her a good deal until she made out what it was she was beginning to grow larger again and she thought at first she would get up and leave the court but on second thoughts she decided to remain where she was as long as there was room for her I wish you wouldn't squeeze so said the Dormouse who was sitting next to her I can hardly breathe I can't help it said Alice very meekly I'm growing you've no right to grow here said the Dormouse don't talk nonsense said Alice more boldly you know you're growing too yes but I grow at a reasonable base said the Dormouse not in that ridiculous fashion and he got up very subtly and crossed over to the other side of the court all this time the Queen had never left off staring at the Hatter and just as the Dormouse crossed the court she said to one of the officers of the court bring me the list of the singers in the last concert on which the wretched Hatter trembled so that he shook off both his shoes give your evidence the king repeated angrily or I'll have you executed whether you're nervous or not I'm a poor man your majesty the Hatter began in a trembling voice and I hadn't begun my tea not above a week or so and what would the bread and butter getting so thin and the twinkling of the tea the twinkling of what said the King it began with the tea the Hatter replied of course twinkling begins with a tea said the King sharply do you take me for a dance go on I'm a poor man the Hatter went on and most things twinkled after that only the March Hare said I didn't the March Hare interrupted in a great hurry you didn't said the Hatter I deny it said the March Hare he denies it said the King leave out that part well at any rate the Dormouse said the Hatter went on looking anxiously round to see if he would deny it too but the Dormouse denied nothing being fast asleep after that continued the Hatter I cut some more bread and butter but what did the Dormouse say one of the Jerry asked that I can't remember said the Hatter you must remember remark to King or I'll have you execute it the miserable Hatter dropped his teacup and bread and butter and went down on one knee I'm a poor man your majesty he began you're a very poor speaker said the King here one of the guinea pigs cheered and was immediately suppressed by the officers of the court as that is rather a hard word I will just explain to you how it was done they had a large canvas bag which tied up at the mouth with strings into this they slipped the guinea pig head first and then sat upon it I'm glad I've seen that done thought us I've so often read in the newspapers at the end of trials there was some attempt at applause which was immediately suppressed by the officers of the court and they never understood what it meant till now if that's all you know about it you may stand down continued the King I can't go no lower said the Hatter I'm on the floor as it is then you may sit down the King replied here the other guinea pig cheered and was suppressed come that finishes the guinea pigs thought Alice now we shall go on better I'd rather finish my tea said the Hatter with an anxious look at the Queen who was reading the list of singers you may go said the King and the Hatter hurriedly left the court without even waiting to put his shoes on and just take his head off outside the Queen added to one of the officers but the Hatter was out of sight before the officer could get to the door call the next witness said the King the next witness was the Duchess's cook she carried the pepper box in her hand and Alice guessed who it was even before she got into the court by the way the people near the door began sneezing all at once give your evidence said the King shant said the cook the King looked anxiously at the white rabbit who said in a low voice your Majesty must cross-examine this witness well if I must I must the King said with a melancholy air and after folding his arms and frowning at the cook till his eyes were nearly out of sight he said in a deep voice what are tarts made of pepper mostly said the cook treacle said the sleepy voice behind her color that door mouse the Queen freaked out behead that door mouse turn that door mouse out of court suppress him pinch him off with his whiskers for some minutes the whole court was in confusion getting the door mouse turned out and by the time they had settled down again the cook had disappeared never mind said the King with an air of great relief called a next witness and he added in an undertone to the Queen really my dear you must cross-examine the next witness it quite makes my forehead ache Alice watched a white rabbit as he fumbled over the list feeling very curious to see what the next witness would be like for they haven't got much evidence yet she said to herself imagine her surprise when the white rabbit read out at the top of his shrill little voice the name Alice end of section 40 recording by phone section 41 of the junior classics volume six old-fashioned tales this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org recording by phone the junior classics volume six old-fashioned tales Alice in Wonderland Alice's evidence by Lewis Carroll here cried Alice quite forgetting in the flurry of the moment how large she had grown in the last few minutes and she jumped up in such a hurry that she tipped over the jury box with the edge of her skirt upsetting all the jury men onto the heads of the crowd below and there they lay sprawling about reminding her very much of a globe of goldfish she had accidentally upset the week before oh i beg your pardon she exclaimed in a tone of great dismay and began picking them up again as quickly as she could for the accident of the goldfish kept running in her head and she had a vague sort of idea that they must be collected at once and put back into the jury box or they would die the trial cannot proceed said the king in a very grave voice until all the jury men are back in their proper places all he repeated with great emphasis looking hard at alice as he said so alice looked at the jury box and saw that in her haste she had put the lizard in head downward and the poor little thing was waving its tail about in a melancholy way being quite unable to move she soon got it out again and put it right not that it signifies much she said to herself i should think it would be quite as much use in the trial one way up as another as soon as the jury had a little recovered from the shock of being upset and their slates and pencils have been found and handed back to them they set to work very diligently to write out a history of the accident all except the lizard who seemed too much overcome to do anything but sit with its mouth open gazing up into the roof of the court what do you know about this business the king said to alice nothing said alice nothing whatever persisted the king nothing whatever said alice that's very important the king said turning to the jury they were just beginning to write this down on their slates when the white rabbit interrupted unimportant your majesty means of course he said in a very respectful tone but frowning and making faces at him as he spoke unimportant of course i meant the king hastily said and went on to himself in an undertone important unimportant unimportant important as if he were trying which words sounded best some of the jury wrote it down important and some unimportant alice could see this as she was near enough to look over their slates but it doesn't matter a bit she thought to herself at this moment the king who had been for some time busily writing in his notebook called out silence and read out from his book rule 42 all persons more than a mile high to leave the court everybody looked at alice i'm not a mile high said alice you are said the king nearly two miles high added the queen well i shan't go at any rate said alice besides that's not a regular rule you invented it just now it's the oldest rule in the book said the king then it ought to be number one said alice the king turned pale and shot his notebook hastily consider your verdict he said to the jury in a low trembling voice there's more evidence to come yet please your majesty said the white rabbit jumping up in a great hurry this paper has just been picked up what's in it said the queen i haven't opened it yet said the white rabbit but it seems to be a letter written by the prisoner to to somebody it must have been that said the king unless it was written to nobody which isn't usual you know who is it directed to said one of the jury men it isn't directed at all said the white rabbit in fact there's nothing written on the outside he unfolded the paper as he spoke and added it isn't a letter after all it's a set of verses are they in the prisoner's handwriting asked another of the jury men no they're not said the white rabbit and that's the queerest thing about it the jury all looked puzzled he must have imitated somebody else's hand said the king the jury all brightened up again please your majesty said the nave i didn't write it and they can't prove that i did there's no name signed at the end if you didn't sign it said the king that only makes the matter worse you must have meant some mischief or else you'd have signed your name like an honest man there was a general clapping of hands at this it was the first really clever thing the king had said that day that proves his guilt of course said the queen so off with it doesn't prove anything of the sword said alice why you don't even know what they were about read them said the king the white rabbit put on his spectacles where shall i begin please your majesty he asked begin at the beginning the king said very gravely and go on till you come to the end then stop there was dead silence in the court while the white rabbit read out these verses they told me you had been to her and mentioned me to him she gave me a good character but said i could not swim he sent them word i had not gone we know it to be true if she should push the matter on what would become of you i gave her one they gave him two you gave us three or more they all returned from him to you though they were mine before if i or she should chance to be involved in this affair he trusts to you to set them free exactly as we were my notion was that you had been before she had this fit an obstacle that came between him ourselves and it don't let him know she liked them best for this must ever be a secret kept from all the rest between yourself and me that's the most important piece of evidence we've heard yet said the king rubbing his hands so now let the jury if any one of them can explain it said alice she had grown so large in the last few minutes that she wasn't a bit afraid of interrupting him i'll give him sixpence i don't believe there's an atom of meaning in it the jury all wrote down on their slates she doesn't believe there's an atom of meaning in it but none of them attempted to explain the paper if there's no meaning in it said the king that saves the world of trouble you know as we needn't try to find any and yet i don't know he went on spreading out the verses on his knee and looking at them with one eye i seem to see some meaning in them after all said i could not swim you can't swim can you he added turning to the nave the nave shook his head sadly do i look like it he said which he certainly did not being made entirely of cardboard all right so far said the king and he went on muttering over the verses to himself we know it to be true that's the jury of course if she should push the matter on that must be the queen what would become of you what indeed i gave her one they gave him two why that must be what he did with the tarts you know but it goes on they all returned from him to you said alice why there they are said the king triumphantly pointing to the tarts on the table nothing can be clearer than that then again before she had this fit he never had fits my dear i think he said to the queen never said the queen furiously throwing an ink stand at the lizard as she spoke the unfortunate little bill had left off writing on his slate with one finger as he found it made no mark but he now hastily began again using the ink that was trickling down his face as long as it lasted then the words don't fit you said the king looking round the court with a smile there was a dead silence it's a pun the king added in an angry tone and everybody laughed let the jury consider their verdict the king said for about the 20th time that day no no said the queen sentence first verdict afterward stuff and nonsense said alice loudly the idea of having the sentence first hold your tongue said the queen turning purple i won't said alice off with her head the queen shouted at the top of her voice nobody moved who cares for you said alice she had grown to her full size by this time you're nothing but a pack of cards at this the whole pack rose up into the air and came flying down upon her she gave a little scream half a fright and half of anger and tried to beat them off and found herself lying on the bank with her head in the lap of her sister who was gently brushing away some dead leaves that had fluttered down from the trees upon her face wake up alice dear said her sister why what a long sleep you've had oh i've had such a curious dream said alice and she told her sister as well she could remember them all these strange adventures of hers that you have just been reading about and when she had finished her sister kissed her and said it was a curious dream dear certainly but now run into your tea it's getting late so alice got up and ran off thinking while she ran as well she might what a wonderful dream it had been but her sister sat still just as she left her leaning her head on her hand watching the setting sun and thinking of little alice and all her wonderful adventures till she too began dreaming after a fashion and this was her dream first she dreamed about little alice herself once again the tiny hands were clasped upon her knee and the bright eager eyes were looking into hers she could hear the very tones of her voice and see that queer little toss of her head to keep back the wondering hair that would always get into her eyes and still as she listened or seemed to listen the whole place around her became alive with the strange creatures of her little sister's dream the long grass rustled at her feet as the white rabbit hurried by the frightened mouse splashed his way through the neighboring pool she could hear the rattle of the teacups as the march hair and his friends shared their never-ending meal and the shrill voice of the queen ordering off her unfortunate guests to execution once more the pig baby was sneezing on the duchess's knee while plates and dishes crashed around it once more the shriek of the griffin the squeaking of the lizard's slate pencil and the choking of the suppressed guinea pigs filled the air mixed up with the distant sob of the miserable mock turtle so she sat on with closed eyes and half believed herself in wonderland though she knew she had but to open them again and all would change to dull reality the grass would be only rustling in the wind and the pool rippling to the waving of the reeds the rustling teacups would change to tinkling sheep bells and the queen's shrill cries to the voice of the shepherd boy and the sneeze of the baby the shriek of the griffin and all the other queer noises would change she knew to the confused clamour of the busy farm yard while the lowing of the cattle in the distance would take the place of the mock turtle's heavy solves lastly she pictured to herself how this same little sister of hers would in the after-time be herself a grown woman and how she would keep through all her riper years the simple and loving heart of her childhood and how she would gather about her other little children and make their eyes bright and eager with many strange tale perhaps even with the dream of wonderland of long ago and how she would feel with all their simple sorrows and find a pleasure in all their simple joys remembering her own child life and the happy summer days end of section 41 recording by phone end of the junior classics volume six old-fashioned tales compiled by william patton