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Published on Nov 1, 2013
Rob Ford loves crack like fat kids love cake... so I guess we can assume Rob Ford also loves cake. He is simply the most entertaining mayor since Joe Quimby. But, unfortunately for the people of Toronto, Rob Ford isn't only the butt of innumeral jokes (and WHAT A BUTT!) but also the real life mayor the biggest city in Canada. Makes it kind of awkward when the Toronto police have a press conference to say they recovered a video of Rob Ford from the hard drive of a drug dealer, where the mayor can clearly be seen smoking crack.
It turns out that ever since this whole hullabaloo over the mayor's crack habit started, the police have been keeping tabs on him. They followed him in his car, they took pictures of him from telephone poles, they pulled his phone records, they even followed him in propeller planes. Of course, when you're following somebody the size of Rob Ford, you don't want to fly too close, lest he swat you out of the sky or possibly drop the damsel in distress. The police have ammassed a mountain of evidence, but they say all they could convict him of is hanging out with shady people and accepting lots of packages from them in parking lots behind warehouses. The police were never able to penetrate Rob Ford's inner circle and turn anyone into a stool pigeon. So, until further notice, Rob Ford is still the mayor, and he intends to run in the upcoming citywide election, which he says will be a "bloodbath". I'd tend to believe him.
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