 Hi, this is Helena Hart from commitmentconnection.com and in this video I'm going to be talking about what to do when a man doesn't text back. This is something I get asked about all the time from women, so hopefully this will be helpful for you. If this is something you're experiencing in your own love life. But before I get started, if this is your first time to our channel, be sure to click the button to subscribe to get all of our videos on how to attract the man and the relationship you've always wanted. So let's get started. First, I want to give you some reasons why a man might not be texting back. I know it can be really confusing, especially if you're in this flow where you've been texting back and forth kind of quickly and then he drops off. It can be easy to want to go up in your head and start analyzing what happened or if you said something wrong and it's really not helpful to do that. So let me give you a couple reasons why a man might not text back and hopefully this will help you realize that a lot of times it has nothing to do with you and taking it personally or trying to figure out what the next step to do from there is actually doesn't help the situation at all. So it could just be that he's busy. He's simply busy. Men tend to be single focused and if they're focused on texting you, they're texting you. But if they're working or if they get busy with something else, they don't multitask the same way that we women, you know, we can have a bunch of things going on all at once and it's easy for us to multitask, but men's brains just aren't wired that way. The way the hemispheres of the brain interact with each other are completely different in men. They tend to be more single focused where we can kind of look at everything as a whole and multitask. So he could just be busy with something else. He could be focused elsewhere and oftentimes it has nothing to do with you and it certainly doesn't mean that you did anything wrong. So you don't want to start beating yourself up or second-guessing yourself. That definitely won't help you. So the next reason is that he just he's not a texture. He doesn't like texting. Maybe he doesn't check his text messages very often or something like that. It could be that he's not interested. That's definitely the case sometimes. He's just not that into you or excited about texting you. So it's just not in the forefront of his mind to get back to you immediately. It could be that he thinks you're acting needy and it's just too much for him. If you're over texting, I know I had a friend a long time ago who would over text her man and just text him multiple text messages and long paragraphs when he wasn't texting back and it just pushed him away. Sometimes he'd even block her because he just couldn't handle the onslaught of angry text messages when she got into that mode. And I know there's a lot of women out there who are at that place. The less a man responds, the more it makes us want to lean forward and latch on and figure out what's going on with him. And that definitely doesn't work. I'm going to give you some reasons why a little later in this video. So if this is a pattern where when you don't hear back from him, you lean forward and text him multiple times or long paragraphs, it could just be too much for him. And when men get flooded with our energy like that, sometimes it just causes them to want to shut down and not deal with us. I've certainly been there myself. Maybe you can relate to that. Maybe you've experienced that with men. The next reason is that he's not near his phone. He just doesn't have his phone with it. Maybe he's in the shower or working out or sleeping or something like that. So again, a lot of these times these reasons have nothing to do with you. Or if you don't know the man very well, if you're not dating him yet, he could be with another girl. You know, if he is someone that you just met, you know, when you were out or something and you don't know his situation. If he's on a date with someone else or if he's with even his friends or maybe another girl that he's interested in, he's probably not going to be focused on texting you back. So, you know, that's for more if you don't really know the man that well yet. So those are some reasons why he's not texting back. A lot of them have nothing to do with you. So the worst thing you can do is panic or freak out or keep texting him and trying to get a response. That definitely doesn't work. Some other things that don't work when a man's not texting back is shaming him or condemning him. And I know it can be easy to want to do this, like telling him all the reasons why he's being a terrible boyfriend or husband right now. Or all the reasons why he should text you, you know, telling him he's being disrespectful or hurting you. When a man's at that place where his energy is not coming towards you, one of the worst things you can do is like shame him or try to condemn him or tell him what he should be doing. And I know, you know, I don't want you to think that I'm just saying to accept any behavior from a man because that's definitely not the case. So it's not about accepting, you know, behavior that doesn't feel good to you. That's not what I'm saying. It's about, you know, when a man is taking some space, the best thing you can do is pull your energy and attention off of him completely and put it on yourself and your own life where it belongs. And when you do that, you're really creating that space for the man to come back towards you. Now, when a man does come back towards you, it's all about what you do from that point that makes him want to keep pursuing you, keep coming towards you or cause him to want to back off again and stay there a lot of time. So when a man does show back up, and he will absolutely, once you create that space, even energetically by not obsessing about him, not worrying about if you did something wrong or wondering what the next steps are, how do I get him to text me back? All of that is like masculine energy behavior and mentalities. So you want to, you know, get into your feminine energy, lean back into yourself and your own feelings and basically take your energy off of him completely. If you've ever had the experience where when you kind of truly forget about a man for a minute, that's when he calls or that's when he texts you. I know every woman I've ever talked to has experienced that, myself included. So what you're doing is creating that space for him to come towards you. And then when he does come towards you, what you want to do is, you know, show acknowledgement, like reinforce the fact that he initiated contact or that he got back to you saying something like, oh, it feels great to hear from you. You know, not where have you been? Why did it take you so long to text me back? And it's not that you are accepting or rewarding his negative behavior. That's not it at all. It's, you know, using positive reinforcement to basically like acknowledge and appreciate his effort when he does come towards you. So this is the space and softness combination. I talk about this a lot in some of my videos and it works wonders for really any interaction you have with a man creating space is leaning back, taking your focus off of any man whose energy is not coming towards you. And that's what creates that space for him to want to pursue you and get back in contact. Then when he does show up, for the most part, you want to be warm and open and receptive to him, especially if this is a man you don't know very well yet. You know, in that case, he doesn't really owe you anything. It's okay if it takes him a couple hours or a day or two to get back to you. If this is like your husband or someone you've been with for years and it's kind of a pattern, of course it's fine to talk about it, but you want to do it in a way that doesn't shame him or condemn him or makes him feel like he can't do anything right because that can cause a lot of damage in the relationship. So if this is like a pattern in your long-term relationship, you could say something like, you know, I felt a little worried when I was expecting to hear back from you and I didn't. See how that's just keeping it all about yourself and your own experience? Or I felt a little disappointed when I was expecting a text or a phone call and I didn't get one. You're not even really referring to his behavior at all or making him wrong. You're just expressing your feelings. Then hopefully if he's a good masculine energy man who really cares about your feelings and wants you to feel good, the two of you can work it out. You know, you can really say, how can we work this out so this doesn't keep happening? But if this is like a brand new man or someone you just started dating, what you want to do is just kind of watch him a little more dispassionately and see what he does on his own. Is this a man who prioritizes you and wants to make sure that he gets in your schedule and in your life so that he can, you know, pursue a relationship with you? If not, no amount of shaming him or telling him what he should be doing is going to inspire him to want to step up and keep getting back in contact with you or inspire him to pursue you for a real relationship. So that's what I have for today on what to do when he doesn't text back. I would really stay with that space and softness combination. Lean back, take your energy off of any man who's not coming towards you right now. Put that energy and attention on yourself and your own life where it belongs. Then when he shows up, it's like a nice surprise. It's not this angry sort of disappointed energy that makes a man feel like he can't do anything right for the most part. In general, there's always exceptions to the rule, but in general, the space and softness combination will be really helpful for you in situations like that. So I would love to hear how this goes for you. Feel free to type in your comments or questions in the comment section. And I will see you next time. Thanks for watching. And if you'd like to discover exactly what to say and do to get the man and relationship you've always wanted, click the button on the right side of this video to visit our website. And I will talk to you soon.