 No matter how bad the game is going, I won't straddle the table like Slim Pickens writing a bomb. Phone finger of death is not a real spell. I cannot start with an armor class higher than my actual age. Not permitted to die from essence loss during character creation. If I bought the book at Walmart, I don't get a discount on advantages. If I take the poison immunity advantage, that doesn't include radiation. The whole expedition to the barrier peaks? Dream sequence. Texans do not get revolvers of the racial weapon proficiency. No matter how many points I put into the skill, I can't use sword swallowing to parry. Stone giants don't have heat sinks. Even if we're facing Yon-T, my battle cry cannot be COMPRA! Note to self, lightsaber chucks. Bad idea. The expressive dance skill is not a substitute for language skills. I will stop blaming every massacre we come across on the septicons. Despite what the rules say, berserking does not improve my aim. Even if spells are use them or lose them, I will not waste meteor swarms on a goblin. I will not lay siege to Cinderella's castle. Elves do not get Viking funerals. Even if we have more ammo than fuel, I still have to cut down the tree with the chainsaw, not the heavy machine gun. If we have to add a new PC mid-campaign, he doesn't have to pass a drug test first. Can't use the Jedi mind trade to convince the stormtroopers the droids over there are the droids they were looking for. Can't start the game with 24 hours to live. The bluff skill is no substitute for actually knowing the spell. Slinges make poor thongs and vice versa. If I have two cyber arms, they have to be on different sides. My character cannot gain a level through nepotism. I will not use the D-20 system to test the validity of any Kennedy assassination theory. My character has mastery level in singing. I do not. I will not convert to L.S. Trey just so I can watch naked drought chicks get in a groove on. No matter how much he pisses me off, I will not raise the barbarians dead mother-in-law. Just because my superhero game is 18 stats and yours only have 3, doesn't mean mine is 6 times better. Monofilament does not automatically make the world a better place. Holding the hand crossbow sideways gangsta style does not add to my intimidate check. Even if I wait for the ninja to jump at me, I can't crucify him with a repeating crossbow in a single round. If at any point in his lifespan my character can clear out every single cave of chaos in one single round, he's vetoed. My druid can't summon or change it to a skunk. No seriously, it's not allowed in a real book. Kangaroo's are poor substitutes for tauntons. There is no such thing as a viking-assisted suicide. Jury summoning one is not a real spell. I cannot name my character anything that was suggested by Tom Servo. Doesn't matter who I'm just using the spot-willed. Force lightning still gets me a dark side point. Erasing the compass on the map and redrawing it in reverse does not mean the villain will start building his evil railroad backwards. Ninjas do not have a hive mind. No matter how much ammo I start with, I can't impact the total world supply. We will not gut every animal we kill to see if they have treasure inside like in video games. We can't stabilize the dying villain before we make our escape just in case he was a load-bearing villain. If my troll is the smartest character in the party, the entire party is vetoed. I will not attempt to overdose on rogue games so I can disguise myself with a wookie. I can't summon anything in MM4 just so I can take a bathroom break while the DM looks it up. If the weapon has the three-handed trait, I don't get a sidekick just for the extra hand. As a matter of fact, the high and tight buzzcut doesn't exist and exalted. I'm not automatically eliminated from the crappy module if I guess the wrong murderer like in Clue so I'll just stop making random accusations. I was not raised by a pack of feral ironclads. I will not kill the elf druid by his real and possibly long elf name and not just Lana War leaf blower. I will also not simply refer to the elf druid as that dirty, dirty hippie. There is no such thing as a dwarven battle perm. Canadian is not a real language. When I get to the custom weapons creation section, I will keep turning those pages. Even if the villain is lawful evil, slapping a cease and assist order on him isn't going to work. I will go into the villain's lair and take him out the old fashioned way, not just wait outside his favorite bar with a rifle. In a middle of black ops, I do not have time to put a banana in the exhaust port of their AV-9. Even if I think of something the demulich isn't immune to, he's immune to it. Even if my character sheet says otherwise, I can't max out the party with Delta-class cyberware immediately after character generation. Even if I can prove at least half a dozen practical uses for it, I can't have a slip-and-slide for the dungeon crawl. Even if we're playing in the New Republic era, I can't call dibs a Boba Fett's armor. If the GM's wife is in the party, I'm not allowed to hunt anything cute. I do not get to put remote detonation switches into the weapons of any PCs I build them for. I cannot have a handgun that starts out doing more damage and most people have wounds. I do not have to check before each adventure that my fellow adventurers are not doppelgangers, sylons, or pod people. Even if we're a wamprat hunting, we don't have to dye the wookie fluorescent orange. I will go take out the villain's dungeon the old fashioned way and not use magic to reroute a river into it instead. After rerouting a river through the villain's lair, I will not pan for gold whenever the river comes out. Just because the game left the rules for stun-setting grossly unbalanced doesn't mean I have to take advantage of it. Despite the name, I can't actually wear a cloaker, but I will fail the nose to cloakways over a quarter ton. Metal detectors don't automatically find sylons. When told to dress like a goth, I will make sure with no uncertainty whether they mean black clothes and eyeliner or chain mail and shield. There is no such thing as a wear saxophonist. At forty-eight straight hours, a pistol weapon doesn't convince the terrorists to spill its guts. Another forty-eight hours probably won't either. A tattooed gun is not standard equipment in a mapping kit. The cryo-kinetic is forever banned from water balloon flights. Even if the rules allow it, my sumo wrestler can't take superhuman attractiveness. There is no such thing as a brothel crawl. My IRSN will not use its powers to help fill out Wikipedia articles. My sumo wrestler can't have lap-ban surgery without affecting his martial art skills. Everybody wangchung tonight is not acceptable use of the mass suggestion spell. Tornadoes do not have hit points. Even if I take twice as long, that doesn't mean I can take forty. I cannot try and throw large blunt objects at Malkavians, cobalt or kinder or their players. Even if the game is a crappy rip-off of World of Warcraft, my character can't speak elite. Even if I roll a natural twenty, I can't jump the Grand Canyon on a stock steamroller. In the middle of a black ops, if a character dies, I will not disavow knowledge of him until after the mission is over. If the battle goes for twenty rounds, we don't have to stop and wait for the Zamboni guy to clean up the battlefield. I will not tell the rookies they can roll down their Wild Wings windows. My wizard does not need to shout out the name of what he's summoning every time he picks a creature. Anything short of Addamante in full play is not considered light armor for dwarves. In the middle of a black ops, I can't start a major corporation war just because I'm bored stiff with the current run. Even if he used intelligence of the dumb stat, I don't have to carve this end towards enemy on the barbarian's axe blade. If I'm in an assault mech, bump drafting is discouraged. After a successful black ops, before I'm paid, I will not immediately adopt a dozen children for the tax breaks.