 The Jack Benny program quality of product is essential to continuing success Lucky strike means fine tobacco so round so firm so fully packed so free and easy on the draw LSMFT LSMFT of course you said it lucky strike means fine tobacco so round so firm so fully packed So free and easy on the draw Year after year at market after market independent tobacco experts present at the auctions can see the makers of lucky strike Consistently select and buy the finer the lighter the naturally milder lucky strike tobacco ripe rich tobacco Fine lucky strike tobacco that means real deep down smoking enjoyment for you profit by the experience of tobacco experts Remember in a cigarette. It's the tobacco that counts. So smoke that smoke of fine tobacco lucky strike Benny with Mary Livingston Phil Harris Rochester Larry Stevens and yours truly Don Wilson Ladies and gentlemen since this is our first program of the new year I'd like to bring you a man who has made two important resolutions The first resolution was to give every member of his cast a raise the second resolution was to forget the first one And here he is Jack Benny Thank you. Thank you. Hello again. This is Jack Benny talking and Don Don I thought that was a very Unfunny introduction. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I happen to think it was very funny Well, I don't care what you think You know, you may not know this down, but you can get brand new shiny 1946 announcers without waiting for Detroit to make up its mind You know, I wouldn't mind having a thin announcer for a change I'm getting pretty sick of looking at a pot that big without flowers in it Hello, Mary. Hello, Jack. Happy new year Don. Well, same to you, Mary. Hey, what about me? Aren't you gonna thank me for the swell time I showed you New Year's Eve at that night club? Yeah, but next time let's not go home at 11 30 Now Mary, you know very well that we didn't get home till daybreak boy was I rare and You should have seen him Don Jack drank one bottle of Coca-Cola jumped up on the chandelier beat his chest and yell look at me I'm Tarzan Yes, sir, and he fooled everybody if he hadn't opened his shirt Up at Tarzan yell I gave that wasn't a Tarzan yell you sat on a hot light bulb Then he drank another bottle of Coca-Cola without a chaser yet I can have a little fun candy. Anyway, I was the life of the party. You were nothing but a big showoff I was not a show off. Then why did you ask the waiter to throw you out? Mary, you know very well. We had a marvelous dime. We danced all evening. Okay. I had a marvelous time You're darn to say very is Jack a good dancer. I don't know. It's the first time I ever did the minuet Stop. Well, you've done the minuet before. Yeah, but not while the band was playing cow-cow boogie All right, now New Year's Eve you got to let yourself go Jack what'd you do at the stroke of 12? What did he do? He said happy new year took an aspirin and passed out Well, I wasn't out long sister And Don when I came to I went around and kissed every woman in the place. You did. Yeah, Mary was so jealous She tried to stop me. I wasn't jealous. I was only trying to tell you the place was closed Those women were mopping up I was wondering why they why they all wore upsweep hairdo Anyway, let's forget about me. How about you Don? Did you have a good time New Year's Eve? I sure did Jack at the stroke of 12 I crawled out of the fireplace and filled all the stockings with toys Phil the stockings with toys a New Year's Eve Don you you were seven days late. I know I was stuck in the chimney You're gonna fall it down and hurt yourself. Yes, but I was lucky enough to catch the flu You what I was in the chimney, but I was lucky enough to catch the flu Arrangement with Abbott and Costello we leave them alone and they leave us Same to you Jack Jack While Larry what's come over you? You've always called me mr. Benny. Well, don't you remember on New Year's Eve You said I could stop calling you mr. Benny and call you Jack When did I tell you that right after your second coke? You mean before the aspirin tab? Well, Larry, I still like the idea of you calling me mr. Benny I mean it adds a little dignity to the program and shows you have respect for me Do you want me to call you mr. Benny too? No, that won't be necessary Mary. Gee, I can call him Jack And now folks wait a little girls with a may company here about this wait a minute don't get smart miss Livingston Oh do call me Mary Larry let's have your song now Mary you behave yourself Well, why don't you buy one mr. Benny it only cost 75 cents Well, I thought about buying one kid But you see I just wanted your song and the record has something else on the other side You see so I I didn't feel like paying for both sides Maybe they'll slice it for you Phil what's that one of my New Year's resolutions respect for the boss. I made it on New Year's Eve Well, that's a nice resolution. They told me I made it and I'm gonna keep You keep going to parties, but you never know what happens You can't even remember if you've had a good time Jackson when I get up the next morning brush my teeth and the bristles fall Out of the toothbrush. I know I knew Jackson's you have fun New Year's Eve. Yes, Phil. I went over to the that's all Jackson If you can remember you didn't have fun Phil as long as you're making resolutions. You could have made another one during this new year Why don't you learn something about music? You mean I should be like stikowski? No Phil no All I ask is All I ask is when you look at your music stand and see a piece of paper that has lines across it and little black dots all over it Don't turn to your boys and say there's a spy around here. This stuff is in cold Little as they know it embarrass Alright Jackson. Alright, that'll be another one of my resolutions. I'll speak of resolutions Jack I made a resolution that during 1946 I'm going to find new ways to tell people about lucky strike cigarettes You are kiddo. Yeah Instead of saying LSMFT stands for lucky strike means fine tobacco. I'm going to say it backwards. What I'm going to say TFMSL stands for tobacco fine means strike lucky Don isn't that a bit redic? At least it's different Remember how I always used to say lucky strikes are so round so firm so fully packed so free and easy on the draw Uh-huh. Well, listen to it this way draw the uneasy and free soul packed fully soul firm soul round soul Well mouth my shot So round so rinse. Oh happy little walk now. How are you? I forget about doing the commercial backwards Just do it the regular way. Well, okay now ladies and gentlemen We will have a number by Phil Harrison as Orkster who will play it not backwards not forwards, but in their usual manner They'll start in the middle and blast both ways Fred Allen, huh? Well, what did the dead end of Allen's alley have to say? Languages mama steps on Papa's barefoot with her track shoes on Well, Mary Allen didn't have to use that kind of language even if he was talking about me wasn't his fault Jack He was reading one of those contest letters. Well, he's just jealous because more people hate me than him What about the contest Jack have the winners been picked yet not yet done the judges are reading the letters as fast as they Can but on Sunday January 27 three weeks from tonight We'll announce the winners three weeks from tonight. It won't be very long until I'll be paying off the price Hey Jackson as long as you're paying off. How about that little better one from me on the Rose Bowl game, Phil? I didn't see the game. So the bets off. How do I know that USC lost, huh? Are you kidding the score was printed in every newspaper in the country? So what last Wednesday? I picked up the newspaper on my front lawn and it said no rain today Paper was so wet I could hardly read So don't be too sure about USC losing Jackson are you crazy 90,000 people were at that game? And so Alabama win. I don't care of a hundred thousand people. So I'm not taking the word of a lot of strangers Rumors get started. That's when to Europe last summer. He wanted to make sure the war was over Yeah, he hasn't been to Japan yet. So he's still got his house blacked out Mary, let's drop the whole Hello As you know, I'm on the air, what did you call for it's about Nottingham, UNC What's the matter now once three off the grand piano cut it up into little pieces and burn it Yeah, it didn't fit in the fireplace. Oh, but the ham damaged my grand piano damaged it Boss, you know in front where it says Steinway and sons. Yes. Well, why didn't you stop them stopping smart? And he wouldn't listen to me For my grand piano, which rune I told you I saved the keyboard the keyboard. Why would you just save that? Boss, you know how I feel about ivory. I don't know. Well, Russia did anything else happen Now I didn't watch them. They climbed up a ladder Stuck a hole down the chimney and turn it could hold so much water till I opened the front door We might as well water the garden while we've got What always happens when I leave the house come on Phil, let's have a band to see the game Jack you said you went to the Rose Bowl. How come he didn't see the game? He wouldn't be interested tickets for the game and he told Phil and me in at 130 130 I got to the bowl Jack wasn't there yet, so we waited and waited you should have seen the crowd down There were thousands and Libby we got to wait for Jackson. He's got the tickets. Why didn't he come with us? Well, you know how romantic Jack is he's bringing his girlfriend Gladys a bisco to the game Yeah, she's a pretty cute kid when she's all dressed up You know, I think Jackson's kind of stuck on that little waitress. Yeah, but he's getting indifferent now that meat rationing is over Hey, Mary Mary look here comes Jackson and Gladys now Gee Gladys, I never saw you look so nice. You sure pretty when you get all dolled up. Thanks, baby I mean it Boy, am I lucky I met you ain't it's a truth No, I've never met you if I hadn't been hungry that night Yeah, I'll never forget I was driving along looking for a place to eat and I drove right past Syros and the Trocadero and the macambo and was just fate that made me turn into Simon's drive-in And they're like a vision of loveliness you came toward me She has smelled so good. Yeah, it was chicken gum bone knife 25 cents a bowl a meal in itself. Oh, look Gladys, there's Mary and Phil Here we are kids Gladys, you know Mary, don't you? Sure. Hello, Mary. Hello Gladys. Do that's a pretty fur. Did you trap it yourself? Again Jackson is still wiggling. I meant that a slip off her shoulder ran over it accidentally Didn't you Gladys you tell him big boy. You got the lips for kids. Here's our gate. Let's go in tickets tickets Hold your own stubs, please. There you are. Oh, hello Gladys. Hello, Eddie. What's the special tonight beat soup and boil potatoes? Oh Come on Gladys forget business for a while. Okay. Here's tunnel 16 over this way Jackson Let's stick together. Say Gladys. You still work at the shamrock cafe. No, I'm back at the drive-in Speedy thought I ought to be outside where it's healthy. Yeah Darn right. What's used to being in California if you can't enjoy the sun? Yeah, but I sure wish I could get off a night shift Just save your tips That's all I do, but every time I get a little ahead you want to go to a movie or something Won't always be that way. Hey, look who's here. Hi you Gladys happy new year saying to you lefty lefty You know everybody don't you that's lefty Flanagan. What a sport He always orders alicots. Hey, where do we look? There's a hot dog stand. Let's make for the mustard. Yeah one hot dog Gladys I'm not hungry right now. You can get me one when we're inside better get one now Gladys You know city that speedy wait here, so you won't get lost Hey, mister for hot dogs, please yes People in the middle and the mustard on top just the way you like him and Why do you sell them so cheap taste him pretty tough weenies Handles they would make good to me. Give me four What kind of mustard do you want on them one time? Well, I got strong mild and Christmas night Covered with mild mustard. Thanks either kind of messy. Haven't you got some rolls to put them in with rolls? It's five cents with pickles. It's ten cents with relish. It's 15 cents and with my cabinet episode You couldn't afford it You like him in the role Take your hot dog. Yeah, you're glad is put that back in your pocket Hey, Jackson care to make a little bet on the game. Okay Phil you take Alabama. I'll take USC How about sitting someplace else? This would happen to me how much do you want to bet Jackson how much dough any amount you say brother just name Okay, 50 bucks $50. Okay. It's a bet. We must be sitting higher than I thought Can't chewing go peanuts popcorn. Hello Gladys chewing gum that is much you say Bunch of fellas. Yeah, let's try to just tell tell you something else Gladys you and I are goodbye Backbending contest now Jack will be back in just a minute. But first here is my good friend la speedy What do auctioneers buyers and warehouse men who know tobacco best say about lucky strike Well, just listen to the words of mr. Thomas Jefferson Green Independent tobacco auctioneer of Walnut Cove, North Carolina He said for many years, I've noticed that at the different markets where I've been auctioneering Lucky strike has bought tobacco that was ripe and mild So for my own cigarette naturally I picked lucky strike been smoking them for 21 years Independent tobacco experts like mr. Green surely know that it takes fine tobacco to make a fine cigarette and lucky strike means Fine tobacco. Yes lucky strike means fine tobacco. So smoke that smoke of fine tobacco lucky strike So round so firm so fully packed so free and easy on the draw the famous tobacco auctioneers heard on tonight's program I'm mr. La speed rigs of Goldsboro, North Carolina And mr. Fee Boone of Lexington, Kentucky at 49 49 American and this is Basil rise Dale speaking for lucky strike LSMFT LSMFT LSMFT a fact known the world over lucky strike means fine tobacco so round so firm so fully packed So free and easy on the draw. We should stop telling Don everything that happens to me. I'm sorry Jack I won't do it again. Okay, say Mary. How would you like to go out to dinner now and later? We'll go dancing. No, not while you're wearing Gladys's ring. Well, I can't get it off. Good night folks Podcasting company