 When is suicide the only option? Never. Suicide is never the only option. No matter how dark, no matter how bleak, no matter how far, no matter how frustrating, no matter how much it seems that the future will never be good. Suicide will never, ever be the only option. Suicide is rarely discussed but unfortunately in today's world news of people commuting suicide is a regular occurrence. My experience with suicide is one I want to share with you today. Have I ever contemplated suicide? No. Have I ever had a close encounter? Yes. I was having a conversation with a dear friend and we discussed the struggle with suicidal thoughts. My friend mentioned that he was having dark thoughts and dark moments and things were just not going the way expected. And sometimes in 2019, as he was driving on Todd Mainland Bridge, a thought came to him that driving straight into the lagoon would end the hot, the struggle and the pain. But the thoughts of his family, his children and people that loved him came to mind and decided that he would keep fighting this battle knowing that the future will be bright. Today he is in a better part and things are gradually falling in place. We sat down and had a long conversation about this thing called suicide and how it can creep in on people, even people that we see as strong and courageous. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. When the thoughts drag you in, socks you in, you lose focus of how good the past was, how the future is just around the corner. The thoughts drag you down and make you lose focus of the door handle, the door that opens to the light. Forget that all you have to do is stretch further. The thoughts keep you in your present state of mind, the present state of mind that is difficult and dark. Forgetting that is only a phase, it will surely pass. If only we can find strength, close our eyes and reach a little further. Grab hold of the door handle and pull it down, open the door and behold the light. Doing the dark thoughts of suicide, one must remember one's loved ones. You must remember that nothing is permanent in this world so nothing bad lasts forever and nothing good also lasts forever. Obstacles are part of the journey. We must look out for them. We must remember that this is something that can creep up on anyone and distract you from your focus. Suicide also hurts those we love the most. Years after a loved one has committed suicide, the family left behind finds it difficult to heal and there is always no closure for them. If anyone is going through this process, I will advise that you reach out to someone that you love or someone you can talk to. A professional can even help you. Please know that you are not alone and you can reach the Lego State Suicide Helpline. Remember, suicide is never the only option. I take conversations around suicide very personally and that's because I almost committed suicide in 2013 and usually when I talk about it, I am invited to speak about suicide. I like to dwell on the solution. I want to point out two things that I feel can help somebody escape suicide thoughts. The first thing there is that the person should have a great vision. Let me talk about this. Why do most people commit suicide? Because they are so caught up in the present frustration that they cannot see a future. So they don't see a future playing out for them so they say, nothing is there for me, so let me just die. But this is what vision does for you. Vision keeps your focus in the future. So for instance, I want to have a vision of becoming Nigeria's president. You mean? Of becoming Nigeria's president and I believe that God has called me to transform Nigeria. That is the vision. When I pass through economic frustration or maybe I'm heartbroken or I'm jobless, my much joblessness being broke or being heartbroken to the vision or the grand vision of becoming a president, I will see that that present frustration is not enough to jeopardize the future I have. So that is the first thing. The second thing is for people to cultivate a selfless thought pattern. Most people who commit suicide are very selfish in their thought pattern. It's about them. Me, me. I'm broken. I don't have this. When you think about other people, family, friends, protigies, mentors and other tendency to commit suicide below. And I think adding to your solutions, I'm looking at one thing that listen, every human being needs we draw strength from two ways. One is internal strength and the one is from the outside. Now the internal strength to me comes in two ways. There's a personal one that comes from experience like the vision you have and everything and the second one is the spiritual. Spiritual in the sense that you are, a lot of people will not even contemplate suicide because they feel how can you take a life? It's impossible. So their brain is shut down against it. Now that's from the inside, from the outside as a family. We were not created to live alone. Whether you are married or not, you are created to be in a society, have a group of people, not gossip friends, but group of people that you can rely on. There were times in my life where I got so broke. But one thing, I always look when I say, one thing that helped me on was that if anything happened, pata pata, no fihola, I'll just go back home. I'll wait for you. That's what's because anything, I'll just go back home, go to my parents. If I stay there three years, I know I'll bounce back. If we shall lie the same way, we shall lie the same way. I found that so funny. But I think that this topic is probably more suited for my son who is a mental health practitioner. But I think for my little experience, I've had loved ones, cousins, relatives who have taken their life from suicide. So it's an area that really it's very deep. I mean, I always say that when I even look at the methods that they used to commit suicide, somebody hangs themselves and I'm thinking that person must be so brave. It's just supposed to show you that sometimes the people are just at the end of the road and the only thing they want to do is go out in like a blaze of smoke really for somebody to do those kinds of things. But also I think the health when there's a lot of family support, like Kairi said that he can actually go back home. So basically Kairi is not at the end of the road yet. But you said something and you mentioned that. They don't even they don't see any option. And it's something because they've been conditioned as well. Okay. But you mentioned that you have family close family that have gone out to suicide. And I want to ask because I don't have somebody so close that has actually gone out like that. What is the healing process like after that? For the people left behind after the process? How do they find closure? How do they heal and move on? It's the most difficult. I think this is one of the things that should be sold to people who are suffering from depression. The people you live behind. Because I remember an episode that happened to me a few years ago a cousin of mine lost a daughter through suicide. And I remember going through the entire ceremony and the funeral and I know how mum was really struggling for answers. Really struggling to say why. The pain that it leaves behind I think survivors of suicide victims should be made to talk a bit more more about the pain. Especially in a Nigerian society where people always kind of push everything to the back. Honestly, we really need to talk about suicide more. And of course I think we're still going to look at this topic and we're probably going to look at it from another angle. Maybe the people left behind after suicide. I think that's something we really should consider. It is. It's important. We'll continue to discuss suicide at least at another date. Social media feedback. Estim viewer, your contributions are integral to this program. Please keep sharing your thoughts on everything we discuss here. On the previous advocacy on the need for boys learning to cook. Otolonewi says you are right. Boy needs to cook. Not only women. I myself also cook even more than my wife. I love cooking and it started from when my mother was alive. Beautiful. Emu Owobete says I love the atmosphere of patriotism in today's show. It only depicts the strong desire to continue fighting for a better Nigeria. Follow us on our social media platforms. On Facebook plus TV Africa. Hashtag the advocate NG or on Twitter and Instagram at plus TV Africa. Hashtag the advocate NG. To catch up with previous broadcasts go to plus TV Africa.com forward slash the advocate NG. Shalakuti is up next after the break.