 You know, at the moment for me, like, I started vaping, like, three or four years ago. It's not something that I've talked about on the podcast before. I'm trying at the moment to kind of kick my nicotine dependency, which is obviously like very, very difficult when you have such like an anxiety prone brain, you know, coming off that substance. It's tough. And so I have experience with that side of things. Like, I've got a very big history of it within my family. And so I'm very, I suppose I'm quite cautious and careful around things, which some degree it's been bad for me socially in terms of making friends, but, you know, to also, you know, quite protective, I think, to come through university with that kind of mindset. Yeah, I think that takes a lot of discipline and self restraint, especially when you're in that influential age. We're talking about teenage and adolescent years up to young adulthood, where there is a lot of peer pressure when there is a lot of experimentation going on behind the scenes. And for those of us who have had family members who are, who have a history of addiction, we are then predisposed to being, to having increasing likelihood to them become addicted to something as well. So it is important to pay attention to behavior, you know, because oftentimes if we're looking back on a timeline and someone's in active addiction or in recovery, they can point out how when they were adolescents or young adults and they were drinking or smoking, how they were the one in the friend group who always had a problem kind of turning off the switch when certain people could hit a certain threshold and say, okay, I'm at my limit. Oftentimes they're going to be the people who are like, no, I'll do another one. No, I'll have another one. No, I'll have another one. And yeah, it just starts to snowball so quickly when you don't have the coping skills to manage what's going on or even the understanding of the behind the scenes in terms of what's happening to the brain and the body. And it's quite interesting, sort of, my experience with nicotine because I have come off it once. It was very, very tough. I came up called Turkey for like a couple of weeks. It was not very fun. And, you know, at the start, it's something that I've seen in a lot of other people who have started to like or wanted to experiment with nicotine. They kind of have this idea that they're going to be the different one. They're going to be able to have it and they're just going to be able to kick it. And it's not going to be an issue for them. They say, oh, I'll have some at the end of the day. And then it's going to be a nice treat that I'm just going to have. Eventually, after a while, they start bringing it to work and they start having it in their breaks. And then they have it, oh, I'm feeling it sluggish this morning. I'm going to have it in the morning as well. And then they just find that they just can't stop like puffing on this vape device. This is a bit crazy. And it's something that not a lot of people I've heard talk about in terms of like the tolerance of it as well because when you start, it feels really nice and it feels really good. It doesn't take long to get to a point where you're literally just like satisfying this negative edge that's building up in the back of your back of your head. It's almost like a different form of being thirsty or hungry. You just have this like craving for some some nicotine. It doesn't necessarily make you feel good. It kind of might give you a buzz like after like a tiny bit of a buzz like after a, you know, you've been to sleep and you've woken up and your tolerance has gone down a little bit, but it's very much like not exciting, not fun. It's pretty boring. It's annoying. And you have to pay and it comes out of your bank account. And it's just like another one of those kind of expenses. And it starts off as kind of a fun, curious thing and just turns into like a very sort of negative habit, like so what you're describing, right? Like I mean, one, I want to notate that nicotine and caffeine are two of the hardest things to stop once you start because of how addicting both of those substances are. So coffee drinkers, tea drinkers, whether you're smoking a vape, cigarette, you know, cigar, etc. These things are very hard and they're designed to be hard. And a lot of people have a lot of shame around saying like, I just can't stop even though I'm not enjoying this anymore. So one thing to particularly notate is the fact that you're saying, I don't enjoy this, right? Like it's causing all this negative reaction and I can't stop it. That's what addiction is. Like that is the textbook definition of addiction. And I think that's what's so hard for people who have not experienced that to understand because from the outside looking in, it's like, just stop, like this is no damaging. And you know, I'm happy to dive into this portion of my life. And I don't know if you want to go there, but I talked to you on our before the podcast that I had a gambling addiction for a very long time in my life. And that's what everyone would say from the outside looking in family members, friends, etc. Just stop, like this is destroying you. This can't you see how damaging this is. And the person who is experiencing active addiction knows how damaging it is. And that is the torturous experience of saying, it is destroying me and I cannot control it. I cannot stop the behavior. Yes. And it's a bit of an, it's an interesting one, isn't it? Because like, I sometimes have this experience, even like when I'm having meltdowns that I feel like I can not do this. I'm not, I'm not, you know, I could just not do it. But like, from my understanding of like, motivation, you know, we talk a lot about you got to be motivated to do stuff and motivation can be good. But it's, it's a very like fleeting feeling. You know, you could, so there might be some crazy people out there who just feel motivated 24 seven, which is really cool props to you. I don't think everybody kind of experiences life that way. Like, even with things like going to the gym, it's like, I'm not motivated to go to the gym. I'm just doing it because it's like, I've managed to get it into my routine to some degree. And I feel bad if I don't go. So yeah, go on. Well, I was just saying that yeah, that's your spot on. And we're talking about reinforcement behavior, right? So like, when you first take a, you first smoke your vape or anything in general, it sends that little dopamine hit to your brain. And it's exciting, or it feels good temporarily, but then that feels and wears off very quickly. And then you have to try to recapture that and recapture that. And it's almost like playing a slot machine and pulling the lever over and over and over, because you're looking for that positive reinforcement behavior, you were looking and chasing that feeling again and again and again. And then it just becomes insurmountable to obtain and it just gets more and more increasingly difficult. Sure. Yeah. And it's a very, it's a very strange experience being like, because I think, am I right in thinking like, because my idea of like dependency and addiction was that like, I am like dependent on my medications that I take my SSRIs, my anti-anxiety meds. I don't feel necessarily like, like that dependency for me feels more of like a state of mind rather than like a compelling thing. Whereas like an addiction in my head is like, I, you know, as you were saying, like this kind of cycle, this thing is not actually helping me at all. And I'm just continuing to do it. I don't know. I'm not sure exactly the terminology, like the differences between the two words. Yeah. And I think that's quite common. So, you know, I think when we're talking dependency, tolerance and addiction, those are the words that get thrown around a lot. And we all start somewhere, right? So, when I started gambling, it was just like going to the casino, I had, I had $50. Okay. The next time you're figuring out ways to bring more money, it's harder to step away from you lose money, you overdraw your bank account, you ask friends for money, it starts to build. That's where the dependency comes in, where it feels like my body and my brain are telling me, I need to do this, like I have to do this and I have to incorporate it into my schedule. I have to do it to feel good. Then all of a sudden, once it becomes an addiction, you cross that line, the dependency to addiction line is this very fine line. Once you cross over that dependency threshold and an active addiction takes over, that's where the control goes out the window. And that's where the rational decision making and impulse control goes out the window. And that's when you start to do things that are quite shameful to do. That's where you start to see criminal behavior. That's where you start to see manipulation. That's where you start to see a lot of sense of self completely shift in terms of personality. And it's a very fine line. And once you cross it, I mean, at least research would say you can't really go back. You can't go from active gambling addiction to then saying like you mentioned before in uni, like, oh, I'll just go like once in a while to the casino. And like, I'll only bring $100. I won't bring my debit card. You start setting all these rules for yourself. But in reality, it's like a chain reaction. You go once and you're like, okay, that was really exciting. I might want to do it more and more and more. And then all of a sudden you're back to where you started. And it's very quick for that to happen. It's in the blink of an eye. And it's just so, so, so, so damaging.