 Him and I would have gotten to some sort of you know penis-measuring competition who's got the bigger one Girls always get turned off. Oh god guys here. They go with their stupid guy like challenging thing girls Would have got turned off. They would have gone and done their own thing. Maybe him and I would have been friends Maybe not I don't know But you know as long as I was playing his game. I was never gonna win So luckily I did not give in to my second impulse So what did I do? Instead and again, I like to tell this story because I really think it highlights Some of the most common mistakes what I often refer to is taking the feminine role in conversation and It really helps highlight the luckily the course of action. I chose to take instead I think really highlights more the masculine role. So what did I do in that situation? I Realized because I've been in his position before I've I can relate to him per like perfectly What does he want? He wants that validation and so I was gonna give it to him So what I started to do I became his biggest cheerleader. I became his biggest cheerleader I started, you know anytime you tell a story. No way. That's awesome. Shut up. I did something like that It wasn't nearly as cool. What was that like that must have been incredible? That's really amazing dude, and that's sweet. What was that like, you know, tell me more about that part Did you do this or did you do that? crazy That's sweet. I wasn't holding myself out of the conversation Right, I wasn't slinking back into my corner, and I wasn't trying to one-up him I was very much a part of that conversation. I became as active a member of that conversation as anybody else there right But it was all I let him keep his stage. I let him keep the the spotlight So this is what I really think if anything the masculine role in a conversation is It's certainly not feeling sorry for yourself making excuses holding yourself back. Woe is me victim victim victim Right and it's certainly not trying to steal the center of attention. I really consider that to be the woman's role more More on that in a second But what's the masculine role in a conversation? It's really really simple It's to set the framework to set the stage Ie the stage to which they can start talking more to get them talking and then it's to provide validation It's to provide your own source of I like this. I think this is good. That's awesome We need more of that and not so much of that Right do I want to be the jester in that situation or do I want to be the king and so I like to say Those are really they really do a great job at highlighting both the biggest mistakes that I see guys make when I'm working with them in Conversation and also highlights what they should be doing instead biggest mistakes I see in conversation really really simple number one Well physical number one is definitely physical body language. We can talk about that way more You know in the Q&A session anything. This is all about conversation right now number one physical leave that off the table But in conversation wise the the next two biggest things that people screw up in conversations Not doing anything holding themselves out of the conversation because they're just feeling sorry for themselves making excuses Either not approaching or just kind of like, you know in the group letting everybody else talk feeling like oh I'm just left out of the group number one and number two Trying to make themselves a center of attention Trying to look at me look how funny look how Charismatic look how interesting I am And like I said, this is my biggest mistake whenever things don't go well with me with a girl and it happens Whenever it happens though, it's only one reason because I'm making it all about myself I'm not making it about her Right as interesting as I can be as funny as I can be as well as I can hold a spotlight so to speak I can't even come close to touching a woman when she's fully lit up when she's just completely on Like I can't even be half as magnetic as she can Sometimes I think I can be and I wish I could be sometimes I have that tendency to want that a little too much But I still really consider that the feminine role That's what she was born for the feminine was the flower the feminine is the the spotlight And so the second biggest mistake I see is when guys try to take that away from her and make it about them Instead of making it about her one of my One of my one of my assistant coaches she coined the term It's much better to be interested than to be interesting Because that's really your two big goals in a conversation Not to try to impress her without how funny or how whatever you are it doesn't work Consistency will always falter What are your two jobs in a conversation woman one get her talking as much as possible? to Make her feel good about it when she does That's it. That's all you have to do the most common line I use to open up a conversation or I have my guys just to open up a conversation. Hey, how's it going? It's not your job to try to be funny or interesting and win them over It's not your job to say the right thing. It's just your job to start the conversation It's your job to just get it going and then see what she has to offer We'll talk a little bit more about how you make that happen specifically. Don't worry But I want to emphasize first and foremost That if you go in there, it's trying to impress her. It's always gonna fall flat So the goal is of course to get her talking. How do you do that? How do you get a woman talking? several ways first simple You ask them a question You guys all know this one right nothing mind-blowing you ask a question And then they respond in some way shape or form You know, I like this. I don't like that The problem with questions though, it's too easy once again You guys all know them and the biggest problem with questions is we end up over using them, right? It just becomes how many times you fall into interview mode Doing all the talking. Oh, cool. What do you think about that? Great great great. So what do you think about this? So have you been there question after question and she's just answering Right and it feels like you're the one doing all the work once again If you ever feel like you're doing too much work in the conversation and you're not getting as much back in return It's because you're doing too much work in the conversation You're trying to do both the female role and the masculine role I can't do that and be successful ever. You're trying to give the foundation and and give her the validation But you're also trying to be the center of attention to and so yes When you're trying to take on both those roles in the conversation You're always going to be doing way too much work and you're never going to get anything back in return Right So that's why you can't just keep battering with questions over and over again because eventually well It's going to fizzle out. So how else do you get them talking other than the simple question? I think this is important and of course physical always matters Nothing's going to get a girl talking more than solid dominant eye contact holds them in a place Facial expression that says hey everything's all right. Nothing to worry about everything's cool physical dominance Something I teach you know touching them moving in close using your body using the space between you to turn her on and to trigger her The physical stuff will always get her talking and getting her excited more than anything with your words ever can So that's why I usually really focus and really harp on that stuff But in terms of just Conversationally, how do you get her talking of course? There's the questions those run out too much So the next thing how do you not fall into that question interview pattern? Sometimes it just happens sometimes she contributes back to the conversation and it just flows right?