 This happens when you discard the narcissist. There are reasons why a person would decide to discard the narcissist. There are certain things that happen which then lead to you discarding them. It gets to a point where you realize that if you don't do something about it, nothing is going to change. This is one of the main reasons why a person would discard the narcissist because of everything they've seen them do. You're having the same arguments every day. You've been on this never-ending emotional rollercoaster until you finally accept that you need to take action. You have to do something about it when a person decides to discard the narcissist. It's usually because they're fed up of being exploited. They're fed up of being taken advantage of. They don't want to do that anymore and they understand that they have to do something about it. So when you get to that point you just remove them from your life. You cut them off, but they don't expect this to happen. They're expecting you to remain lacking judgment and understanding of what they're trying to do. They don't actually believe that you're going to leave, but at some point you realize that it's the only way that this is going to end. Because although the narcissist may always have something to complain about they have no intentions of leaving you because they've trained you to focus on their feelings and needs. Where it's become difficult for you to focus on anything outside of them which has then kept you under their control. But when you finally clear your mind and you're able to think clearly you realize that you need to leave. But the narcissist doesn't think you're going anywhere and that's why it's such a shock to them when you do leave. Because they felt like they had complete control over you. They felt like they had you under their command. They're not even thinking that you're going to leave. So when you do leave, it causes them to panic. They might try to steal your money or possessions to make it difficult for you to leave. Or they may call the police and make false accusations against you. Or they may just return to the love bombing. They may try to manipulate you in that way again. To lure you back in. To make you question your decision to leave them. To make you think that maybe they're not so bad after all. And they will do that by showing you the false character that they show to you in the love bombing phase. But if you don't fall for it and you continue with your decision to leave them, that's when they will really panic. They will become very abusive. They will insult you. They will call you all sorts of names. They will say and do whatever they think will hurt you the most. They will bring up anything that you confided in them. They will use it against you. They will do anything to hurt you. So that it makes you want it to stop. They want you to feel like the only way you can move the threat is by returning to them. As though that's the only way that this pressure will go away. And many people do return to the narcissist. Because it takes so much strength and courage to get out of there in the first place. That you haven't got much energy left to deal with what comes after that. You haven't got the energy to deal with all the insults. But if you still decide to keep it moving that is when they will make false and damaging statements about you. To anyone who will listen. And they're hoping that this will somehow get back to you. They're hoping that you will feel responsible for all the chaos and drama that they're trying to cause. They're doing this because they're in panic mode. They're losing their source of supply. If you go no contact after you leave they will really try to destroy you. They will do whatever it takes to bring you down. But if all of their efforts fail it means that you have left them without a primary source of supply. Which means that they have to find someone else to replace you. Even though they may not want to do that they may not have enough time to evaluate whether or not they have a suitable target for that position. Which is why they prefer to be in control of the discard. They want to be the ones to discard you when they're ready. When you've discarded the narcissist you've messed up all of their plans. And that is why they go into panic mode. Because they've lost control of you when they needed to have everything play out in the way that they wanted. But once the narcissist finally accepts that you've moved on they have no choice but to replace you and they will triangulate you with this new person in an attempt to pull you back in. They will bring up all of these situations at events that have occurred. Even though you may have been gone for just a few days and this should tell you that they just can't hack it on their own. They don't have the qualities needed to do a certain task or cover the situation which is why they targeted you in the first place. They were just using you the entire time that they were with you but they managed to convince you to think that you were the one who needed them. Yet when you leave they will take all of these difficulties that they're dealing with and use it as though it's something that you have caused. They will use it so that they can play the victim to make you feel like you have abandoned them without any help or support. But if that doesn't work they will be forced to move someone else in and it will be out of desperation. They have to find someone else to replace you because they didn't expect you to leave. It was a shock to them but even though they may find someone else this new person doesn't have to be romantically involved with them. It could just be a friend or family member that they are using to replace you. To meet their financial or emotional needs this new person will be employed to do everything that you are doing for them. Once they know that you're not coming back they have to do this. They have to do this. There's no way that they can just move on on their own. They have to get someone else because you managed to escape. You got off the plantation. So they move forward with this new source of supply where the cycle starts all over again. They love bomb this new source. They devalue them until finally the new source gets fed up and leaves or the narcissist discards them. They've done this to people before you and they will do it to other people after you leave. You're not the first and you're not going to be the last. You're just a part of the cycle and the cycle never ends. Thank you for watching. I hope this video resonates with you. Please like, comment share and subscribe. If you would like to donate my PayPal link is in the video description. Coaching queries You can email me at CoachingAtNarxSurvivor.co.uk Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon.