 Hi, I'm Matthew coast head dating coach and founder at commitment connection calm and today We're gonna talk about what to talk about with a guy And so if you're struggling to figure out what you should be talking about with a guy Or what you talk about doesn't seem to connect with him then this is for you So let's first talk about what doesn't work So one of the things that a lot of women will come to me with is they'll say Matt I really don't want to have to learn about guy topics like sports and you know, whatever whatever guy topics I miss a big one's usually sports and the truth is that you don't need to learn about guy topics that guy taught I mean that can be a plus if a woman knows about guy topics, but for most guys They don't they aren't they're not gonna be attracted to you even if you can talk about guy topics I mean it might be an addition, but it's not it's not what he's attracted to you for that's So don't worry about that one. Don't don't focus on that the second one is talking like a guy and so a Lot of times women will see guys kind of busting on each other and they'll be like Oh, yeah Maybe I should mimic those behaviors and they start busting on guys and that actually can be really unattractive If you only do it if you do it just once in a while it can be kind of cute But if you do it all the time It can be incredibly unattractive to a guy because it's it's kind of a masculine thing to do and next thing, you know you'll just end up in the friend zone and That's not what we want here so And then the next one to not do is relying on commonalities and commonalities can be a good thing It can be a positive addition to Your conversation and it can add things to a conversation and it's good to know about a whole lot of different things But it's not Again, it's it's kind of one of those friend things, you know, you you make friends with people you build rapport with people you You create a friendship around commonalities, but you don't create attraction a guy doesn't become attracted to you because of commonalities So watch out for that and then the last one that you shouldn't do is having expectations now This is a huge one for a lot of women who? They'll like share their feelings with the guy and they're like expecting the guy to do something like when they're done And then the guy doesn't do it because he's like, oh, okay, you know And then they're like well How do I get him to respond the way that I want him to and and trying to get a guy to respond? The way that you want him to respond when you tell him something is a really I mean Especially if you get upset or you're like, you know like why didn't you say what I want you to say, you know It's so unbelievably unattractive to a guy when you do that. It's I mean, it's like massively repulsive. So just please for For everyone's sake just stop doing it So what does work? So what does work is I have three things here and the first one is telling stories telling stories can be a really powerful way to connect with someone and Usually when you start telling a story about something what will happen is that person will like kind of lean back Mentally and just kind of listen to you and and you can take them through different emotions you can Do all kinds of different things and emotions are what? Connects with a guy's heart and eventually and ultimately captures as hard if that's what you want to do So telling stories can be really really powerful And so the things that you want to tell the stories about are one your values, right? So you know Talking about other people are telling stories about other people or famous people a lot of times can pull out These values that you have or that you're interested in or telling stories about things that you've done in the past can convey your values about You know different things in your life and what's important to you and that can be really really attractive and powerful Another one is about things that you've done that are exciting Which can be really really attractive as well, right because It's it's Imagine meeting a guy and you know, would you rather meet a guy who had a lot of interesting things going on or a guy who? You know was just sitting around and not doing anything with his life You know, and it's the same way with men They you know They when a guy meets you if you have a lot of interesting things going on if you've done interesting things that that can be very very attractive to him And the last way to tell stories is talking about things that you've done that were feminine, right? so things that are nurturing or Things that are caring and this can be incredibly powerful and a lot of times guys won't look at women Consciously and think oh, I want her to be this way or that way and he may not pay attention consciously to your story But subconsciously deep inside his mind He's paying attention to it and if you're conveying These different traits and purse these personality traits that show that you're a feminine woman He'll start connecting to that and seeing you as somebody that is potentially relationship material So the second thing that you want to talk about is things that he's passionate about a lot of times Women will be like I can't get a get them to open up and talk Well, if you talk to a guy about his passions and just let him talk about it You don't have to know anything about his passions. Just let him babble on about it He most guys can talk about that kind of stuff forever You know most people can talk about their passions forever So just figure out what his passion is and just let him talk about it and just ask him questions and be curious and allow him to keep talking and a lot of times That that can be incredibly attractive to him So and the last thing the last thing that you want to talk about is fun and exciting things that you're going to do in The future and this goes back to what we're talking about before about having an attractive lifestyle Having an attractive lifestyle is very very important and sometimes I get women who are like well I don't want to you know start living this cool life until I find this guy that way We can go live it together and and I'm just gonna go ahead and tell you that it's gonna be a lot more attractive to a guy who wants to do those things if He meets you and you're already planning and doing those things Then he's gonna be like wow, that's she's really cool She's doing all these things that I want to do whereas if you're like, oh, well I don't really do anything, but these are things that I want to do, you know It you know there there's a part for a lot of guys Who will look at that and be like well, I'm not sure if she's really congruent with that I'm not sure if she's really being honest with me You know, maybe she's just saying that because she doesn't do any of those things She's not living that kind of a lifestyle and so it can be really really attractive if You are talking about things that you are going to be doing that are fun and exciting because you do have an awesome lifestyle So that's it for today If you want more information on how to attract a quality man into a committed lasting relationship Make sure you go to my website at commitment connection calm and take my quiz I'm Matthew coast and I'll speak with you again soon