 Craft presents the Great Gilder Sleeve Craft Cheese Company makers of Far-K Marjorn and a complete line of famous quality food products presents Harold Perry is the Great Gilder Sleeve Craft brings you the Great Gilder Sleeve every week at this time written by John Whedon and Sam Moore music by Claude Sweet Here from a great Gilder Sleeve in just a moment You know if yours is a family of average size you probably consume 6 or more loaves of bread a week That adds up to a lot of slices and to make it add up to a lot of good eating enjoyment too, spread your bread, toast or sandwiches with delicious nourishing parquet margarine made by Kraft. Parquet's fresh, delicate flavor really satisfies, makes bread rolls, pancakes, and waffles taste so good you'll want to eat more. And as for good nutrition, listen to this. Parquet is actually one of the best energy foods you can eat and contains dependable amounts of vitamin A. Kraft you see adds vitamin A to parquet so that every pound contains 9,000 units and there's never any less summer or winter. So for flavor that really satisfies for energy and vitamin A be sure to get parquet, P-A-R-K-A-Y, parquet margarine made by Kraft. Yes, Kraft makes parquet and the Great Gilder Sleeve. After weeks of correspondence with his old friend Piper McGee and Westful Bista, a model of McGee's plastic mousetrap has arrived by special delivery. With margarine Lee Roy at his heels, Gilder Sleeve bears it triumphantly out of the kitchen. Well, Bertie, there it is, the world's first plastic mousetrap. Looks good, huh, Bertie? Yeah, it looks good, but it sure don't look like a mousetrap. Well, this is no ordinary mousetrap, Bertie. Look, I'll show you how it works. Mr. Mouse walks in here, walks along this little path in here, turns through here, and bingo, he falls through here. If you don't get lost first. Okay, Mr. Gilder Sleeve, if you say so, it's a mousetrap. What you gonna use for bait? Bait? Well, haven't we... Not a thing, Mr. Gilder Sleeve. I don't think there's a thing in the house that would really appetize a mouse. There must be something. How about bacon? The points are off it. The points are off of it, but there ain't no bacon. Too good for him anyway. Now let's think now. What would I like if I were a mouse? A piece of pie and a glass of milk. You don't need to provide a chaser, Leroy. Pie isn't a bad idea, though. Apple pie? How about a piece of apple? Mice love apples. We ain't got any apples, even, Miss Marge. Well, now let's be scientific. What have the mice been getting into, Bertie? Pancake flour, but you can't bait a trap with pancake flour. You could make them a pancake. You could mess it. All right, Leroy. I guess we'll have to get something tomorrow. Count found it. This is very annoying, Bertie. Brand new mouse trap and invention is going to make us millions of dollars and nothing to bait it with. Well, those are the breaks, kid. You go to bed, Leroy. What? Go to bed. We'll just leave the trap here by the pancake flour, Bertie. Who knows? Maybe Mousey will walk into it. Have you finished your breakfast? Holy cow, I had eleven pancakes later. Just a minute. You two, Marjorie. I want to hold a family conference. About what? Well, I'm going to have to ask you children for a little cooperation. Bertie, you too. You see, all the money's going out these days and none of it's coming in. Yeah, how about that, Unk? When are you going to get off the dime? I don't understand that expression, Leroy, and I don't think I like it either. Well, aren't you ever going to get a job? You'll be quiet a minute. I know just the job, Uncle Mort. Hogan Brothers need a floor walker. Floor walker? They have a sign in the window. Yeah, I guess that's the easiest job there is, Unk. Why don't you grab it? A man doesn't step out of a career in the public service to become a floor walker. I'm not looking for a job anyway. I'm really asking you people to hold down on expenses. McGee and I are going to need every cent we can scrape together to get into production. Uncle Mort, I've been thinking, why don't you be a diplomat? Diplomat? Yeah, it'll be wonderful to travel around in foreign countries and go to state dinners and formal balls. Don't you think so? Yes, it would. Of course, that's not all there is to it, my dear. Say, I wonder how you get into that. Have to have a fool, I suppose. Well, you must know somebody in Washington, don't you? Well, I went to college with, has a job in the Department of Agriculture. I wonder if he knows how. It can't be a diplomat unless you can talk all kinds of languages. Well? Probably Bufran, say, Elkmore. No, but I bet I could pick it up in a hurry. Bertie, how'd you like to live in France? Roulet-Bou? Oui, oui, Mr. Gale Sleeves. Bon coup. I tried to learn a little French in the last one. You passed it along. I'd like to hear Bertie hobnobbing with a French chef. Mademoiselle, should the filet-a-so be cooked commissie or commissar? Say, you're pretty good, too, Elk. Oh, French. Well, we'll put you in a French school, E. Roy. You'll be talking like a name. Jeepers, would Piggy Banks be surprised? Let's do it, Uncle. Well, I might look into it. See who that is, will you, my boy? That's probably Piggy. Can I go now if it's Piggy? We'll see. See who's at the door, will you, Bertie? Okay. I was talking to someone at this end. Yes, I'd be very glad to see you. This morning would be fine. Oh, no, thank you, Miss. Goodbye. He's right in here, Judge. Thank you, Bertie. Well, good morning, all. Judge, golf nickers. I haven't seen a pair in years. Crime any. Get him. Nothing so extraordinary about golf nickers. I thought I was getting a little chilly, and they might feel nice later on in the afternoon. Come on, guilty. We need you to fill out the fumbling forces. Sorry, Judge, but I'm being interviewed by the press in a few moments. Well, for goodness' sake, about what? About my plans for the future and so on. Uncle Mort is thinking of going back to work. Don't misquote me, my dear. Well, about time. We were just discussing the possibility of a diplomatic career, Judge. You? A diplomat? Why not? Well, what's so funny? You? You a diplomat? I'm sorry, guilty, but I think that's the funniest thing I've ever heard. I don't see anything funny about it. I'd love it. Same here. Well, it would be fine for you children, but... No, I'll see you here, Hooker. I'm sorry, guilty. I'm terribly sorry, but the diplomatic career is not for you. Why? Well, in the first place, you have to be a millionaire, and in the second place, you are the most undiplomatic man I ever met. How would you like to punch in the nose, you old goat? Why, George, you'd get one if you weren't such an old, old goat. Well, there's a fair sample of your diplomacy. The punch in the nose isn't being used this season at Dumbarton Oaks. If you were there, it would be. I'll look at it reasonably, guilty. You know a diplomat's salary is nothing. He has to entertain out of his own pocket all these state dinners and margarities you pay for. He never thought of that. Nobody but a millionaire can afford to take the job. Yeah, you're right. I'd forgotten that. I'm glad you dropped in before I wrote to Washington. Yeah, I'll have the job practically sewed up. Yes. Well, why don't you stop fooling around and get busy and find yourself a permanent connection that'll keep your family from war? Listen, Hooker, I don't want any permanent connection. In a few weeks, McGee and I will be in production with our mousetrap. Mousetrap? Yes. And this mousetrap is gonna be bigger than you or me. Oh, hell. Why don't you go out the war plant and see Nelson Humstone? I can fix it up. Now, what do I want to see him for? Humstone is a big man. He was a big man you wouldn't know him. Why should I go out there with my hat in my hand? You know, guilty, I believe you're afraid you get a job. Nothing of the kind. Then why don't you let me fix it up with Humstone? Why are you so anxious for me to see Humstone, judge? Are you getting a commission on this? That's a nice thing to say to a friend. Yes, yes. Oh, must be the lady from the indicator. If you excuse me, judge. Don't worry, I'm leaving. Sorehead, you're just jealous because she isn't interviewing you. It so happens, my friend, that she interviewed me three months ago. When she comes to see you, she's getting pretty near the bottom of the barrel. Why? Go on, get out of here, get out of here. Honestly, that's all very interesting about your early life, but I want to know about your plans for the future. I understand you're thinking of going into manufacturing. Thinking of it. I'm certainly going into manufacturing. Going to manufacture a plastic mousetrap. Revolutionary. Oh, yes, plastic. Oh, but it's not an ordinary plastic. My partner, Mr. Fibber McGee of Whistel Vista, he invented the trap. He's worked out an entirely new plastic. It's cheaper than soy bean plastic made out of soybeans and rhubarb. Why is that cheaper? Cheaper? Well, because nobody likes rhubarb. Well, that should be a nice little business. It won't be a little very long, Miss. Mousetraps is just the first step. Plant number one. It'll come plastic dishes, plastic radios, alarm clocks, plastic pianos. Houses? Certainly. Stocking? Undoubtedly. By no time at all, Summerfield will be the plastic capital of the world surrounded by acres of soy beans and rhubarb. That's simply marvelous, Mr. Gildesley. You'll go down in history as Summerfield's greatest benefactor. I wouldn't be surprised. Will you be able to print all this? Oh, yes. But I ought to get back to the office now and start writing it. Oh, just one more thing. When do you think you will actually get into production? Any minute, my dear, almost any minute. Then I'd better hurry. Mr. Gildesley, that's been very interesting. Well, thank you. If you need any more figures or facts, feel perfectly free to call on me. I will. Goodbye, Mr. Gildesley. Goodbye, Miss. It's been a pleasure. Yes, that'll show this town who's a big man. I guess that'll make a few people sit up and... Hey, uh, uh, the Mousetraps! Eureka, we caught a mouse. The age of plastics has begun. Oh, no! Where's the mouse, Leroy? We'll have him stuffed and keep him as a historic souvenir. A monument. Not this mouse, honk. He ate a pastlet trap and ran away. Ate it? Oh! Slave will be with us again in just a few seconds. Time for a quick word picture of a contented man eating breakfast. Pop goes the toaster, out comes a slice of bread toasted to a tempting golden brown. An eager hand reaches for a delicious nourishing spread, reaches for parquet margarine, adds the appetizing flavor goodness of parquet to the piping hot toast. Man, oh man, there's a breakfast treat that's sure to send anybody whistling off to work. Crunchy toast spread with delicious, satisfying parquet margarine and lots of nourishment to go right along with that grand flavor enjoyment. Yes, lots of good nourishment because parquet is high in food energy value. And because every single pound of parquet margarine contains 9,000 units of vitamin A. Why not make your breakfast tomorrow a real humdinger of a meal with the help of delicious nourishing parquet? That's P-A-R-K-A-Y. Parquet margarine made by Kraft. Yes, Kraft makes parquet. Let's return now to the Great Gilder Sleeve. Despite the glowing story, the indicator is published about him. It's a Chasen Gilder Sleeve we find on Monday morning. He's come to the conclusion that he was a little hasty in brushing off Judge Hooker's offer to help him get a job at the war plant, and he set out in search of his old friend now to patch things up. Finding him shouldn't be too difficult for his daily schedule is as unvarying as a timetable. At exactly 9.17 each morning, the judge steps into Floyd Monson's barbershop for a shave. Oh, 9.30 right now. Floyd is probably down around his Adam's apple. Oh, Ron, just a minute. Yes, sorry, Lila. A little busy right now. Well, I was just going to phone you. For me, you do that, Lila. You do that. That's right, Martin. I've got to catch the judge before he leaves here. You'd care to step in with me into a barbershop. Well, and phone me later. That's a good girl. If I'm not in, leave a message. Hi, Mr. Gilder Sleeve. Hello, Floyd. Hi, Mrs. Ransom. How's it going? Good morning, judge. Morning. Fine morning. Yes, indeed. Fine morning. Hey, odd judge, fresh to the daisy. Thank you, Floyd. Seems to be getting a little colder these days, Jack. My collar and tie, please, Floyd. Hey, odd judge. Uh, Horace, if I've said I've done anything to hurt your feelings, I'm sorry. Now, about that job, I think it was a great idea you had there for me to get in touch with Humpstone. Go ahead and get in touch with him. But you know him, judge, and I don't. I thought if you could just fix it up for us to meet. My coat, please. Yes, sir. Now, seriously, Horace, I said I was sorry, didn't I? What more can I do? Hey, wait a minute. Horace, seriously. Listen, you don't have to get huffy just because I happen to do Horace. All right, go on. Go on, you stubborn old goat. I asked you, Floyd. I asked you, seriously. Judge seems a little peeved this morning. Old rooster. I didn't tell him, but his shoes untied. I hope he trips. Say, I saw that article about you in the paper there, Commissioner. Oh, yes, yes. Quite a writeup. Not given away any stock in that mousetrap company yours, are you? Not given away any samples. No, we haven't exactly got it organized yet, Floyd. You might say it's pending. Uh-huh. Well, it come in here and sold me some oil stock back around 1928. That's pending, too. Well, this is different. Say, Floyd. Uh-huh. You don't happen to know this fellow Nelson Humpstone, do you, the manager of the factory? Nelson Humpstone? Yeah, I know him. You do? Oh, that's fine. Well, I say I know him. He comes in here for haircuts. He does? The next time he comes in, Floyd, I wonder if you've got... Well, I say he comes in for haircuts. He came in once. Oh. Did you get a chance to talk with him? Yeah, I talked with him. What kind of a man is he, Floyd? Nice fellow. What do you two talk about? Well, I say I talked with him. I did most of the talking. Yeah, I can imagine. Yeah, I remember it like it was yesterday. He's a fellow comes in, he don't say much, sits down in the chair, remarks he'd like a shave. So, okay, I start in. First, I mention it's a nice day out. Never mind what you said, what did he say? Didn't commit himself much one way or the other. So, then I ask him who's gonna win the election. That usually gets him if the weather does. What'd he say? Said he hadn't made up his mind. And with that, he shuts his eyes like he was going to sleep. So, I says to myself, okay, if you don't want to talk, okay. I'm not one of these barbers that runs off at the mouth all the time. You know what I mean? Yeah, I know what you mean. If a man, if a man don't want to talk, that's all right with me. I can take a hint. Sometimes I don't want to talk myself. Sometimes I'll be quiet for whole minutes at a time. Just thinking. The wife says to me at night sometimes, Floyd, for goodness sake, she says, why don't you stop thrashing around and go to sleep? Just thinking. Getting back to Humpstone, Floyd. Oh, yeah. So, he's laying there with his eyes closed and I'm shaving him. Well, I might have never heard another peep out of him. Only the razor slipped. You caught yourself a barber? Well, your razor would have slipped too. It would? What do you mean? Well, I'm looking out the window and I happen to see one of the Bagley sisters waltzing by. So, I waved to her with my razor. Just being friendly. You know what I mean? And who comes along right behind her but the wife? Boy, I got back to work so fast. No wonder I nicked him. Well, what did he do? Ball you out? No, it's funny thing. He just opens one eye and says, watch it. Gave me a quarter, too, when he left. But you know he's never come back? Funny fellow, Humpstone. Hard to figure out. Yeah, well, I can see you aren't going to be much help to me, Floyd. Oh, sorry, Commissioner. Uh, you don't know anybody else who knows him. Might try Peavey. How would Peavey know him? Well, I'll tell you. I always seem to be out of court class to hear somehow. So, when I run into a little bad luck with a customer, I usually send him along to the drugstore and Peavey patches them up. So, wonder he has time for anything else? Yeah, well, I drew blood with Humpstone there. So, who knows? Maybe him and Peavey struck up an acquaintance. I'll try him, Floyd. Goodbye. Come on, Commissioner. You seeing if the Jolly Boys Club tomorrow night? That depends, Floyd. Depends on how jolly I feel. That's reading a little item about you and paper here. Very complimentary. Yes, I know, I know. Peavey, you don't happen to know this Nelson Humpstone, do you? Nelson Humpstone? Yeah. Manager out to war plant? Yeah. That plant used to be the old tech factory before they took it over. Yeah, that's the one. A large man a little taller than you. Yeah, do you know him? No, Mr. Gillison. I've seen him around. But Floyd said he'd been in here. He said he sent him in here one day with a cut on his chin. Well, so many come in here with cuts on their chin, Mr. Gillison, which is a little hard to remember. Why are you so interested in Mr. Humpstone? I'm very anxious to contact in regard to a business matter. No, a business matter. Yes, a very important one. Important. Has to do with employment. Employment. And post-war? Right now. You must know, Peavey, I've got to get a job. You don't, Peavey. I don't understand. It says in the paper there about your plans for the future. Bologna, Peavey, all bologna. What about Mr. McGee in his... Put not your trust in McGee. That was my mistake. Five whole weeks waiting around and what have I got to show for it? Frankly, I don't know what I'm gonna do, Peavey. Well, if fifty dollars would help to tide you over, I... Thanks, Peavey. I'm not hard up. Not yet. Just worry, that's all. But you're a real friend. I'll remember this. That's all right, Mr. Gillison. Speaking of friends, I'll go with Mrs. Rancher. Let her go. I have no time for dames now. My problem is to get in touch with Nelson Humpstone. Hmm, looks as if he's coming in. Oh, good morning, Mr. Rancher. Hello, Mr. Peavey. Throckmorton, you've been avoiding me. Now, Leela, not at all. I'm a little busy today, that's all. You don't deserve it, Throckmorton, but I've been trying to invite you to dinner this evening. Oh, that's very nice, Leela. But I don't know about this evening. You see... Throckmorton, I simply refuse to take no finance. A friend of mine wants to meet you, Nelson Humpstone. Well, that's very good. Nelson, Nelson, Nelson, Nelson Humpstone. Yes. Leela, is Nelson Humpstone a friend of yours? Well, I only met him last weekend at the country club, but we got along famously, if I do say so. And Nelson Humpstone wants to meet me? He called me up specially this morning before I was hardly awake. Peavey, it's a small world. You took the words right out of my mouth. Well, I told him I'd try to have you both to dinner this evening, Throckmorton. Do you think he could make it? Leela, I think that could be arranged. Organization and know-how, they said it couldn't be done. Humpstone, they said it can't be done. Well, sir, I... Excuse me, a birdie? I'm afraid Mr. Humpstone's glass is empty. Yeah, ma'am. Oh, forgive me, Mr. Humpstone, continue. You're sure this is not boring. Oh, grace is not at all. I think it's fascinating. Ah, fascinating. Well, sir, you won't believe this, but as of August 1st, we were turning them out at the rate of 90,000 a day. That's over 600,000 per week. Say, that's nothing. At the time I resigned from the water department, do you know how many gallons we were pumping? 800,000 per week? No, per month. What do you think of that in quartz, brother? That's a lot of water. Excuse me, Mr. Gilthier, but how about another little piece of peach shortcake, huh? I've got just one slice left. No birdie, that's for the guest of honor, Mr. Humpstone. Oh, I could. Oh, but I insist. No, really. Oh, Mr. Humpstone, please. I really shouldn't. Pretty please. Well, I'll take it as a personal insult, if you don't. That's an old Southern recipe I land in Savannah. Yeah, what's the matter, birdie? That ain't no Southern recipe. I got that recipe off the flyer day. Birdie is such a jewel. Mr. Gildersleeve was kind enough to lend it to me for the evening. I hope he'll be kind enough to take a with him when he goes. Well, whatever the recipe came from, the shortcake is delicious. In fact, the whole dinner has been delicious. Thanks. I mean, yes, it has, Leela. It's such a relief to get away from restaurants and enjoy a good home-cooked meal for a change. Oh, you're not married, then. No, I never seem to have found the time somehow. Hmm, how it goes. I should have invited another girl this evening for throckmorton, but well, I decided I'd just keep you two men all to myself. Wasn't I wicked? Have a cigar, Mr. Humstead. Oh, no, try one of mine. No, no, have one of these. They're two for 35. These are imported. I like to know what you think of them. Uh-huh, well, in that case, fair exchange is no robbery, I guess. You don't mind, Mrs. Ransom. Not at all, gracious. I love the smell of cigars. Oh, have one, Leela. Oh, throckmorton, you're outrageous. I am. Well, now, if you'll excuse me, I know you men have things you want to talk over, so I'll just leave you alone with your cigars. Oh, don't get out. Oh, I'm such a... Oh, allow me. Oh, thank you, gracious. It's so long since anybody's pulled out my chair for me. Now, don't you talk about... Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Charming woman, charling. Well, Mr. Gildesleeve? Well, Mr. Huffstone? It's been a real pleasure meeting you this evening, something I've been looking forward to. Well, I think I can safely say that the feeling is mutual, Mr. Huffstone. Yes, sir. I, um, I understand you're resigned from the water department here to go into private industry. Oh, yes, yes, I've had numerous offers, which I am considering at the moment. I haven't decided on any yet. I believe I read something in the paper about your planning to form a company and go into production shortly on some, uh, household article. Uh, mousetrap, was it? Oh, yes, that. Well, there's still a few bugs in that. We'll have to get ironed out. Have to change the formula, I'm afraid. That'll make it so tasty. And that's more in the nature of a hobby with me anyway, though. That is to say, it wouldn't prevent my working at something else. Oh, I see. Yes. I foresee a great, big future for the post-war industry, Mr. Huffstone. A big future. I have great faith in it. Oh, I quite agree. As a matter of fact, that's something I'd like to talk with you about. Please feel perfectly free to do so. Oh, thank you. You're with the International Bolton Screw, are you not? Well, the factory here is a subsidiary. Yes, I understand. Very fine organization. International Bolton Screw from what I hear. Yes, quite an outfit, I.B.S. Quite an outfit. Large. Very. Must take a lot of men to run it. Yes, it does. Uh, I was thinking, Mr. Huffstone, you'll be expanding after the war. You'll be taking on more men for peacetime production. And it's not too early now to start planning ahead. Oh, but there you're wrong, Mr. Gildesleeve. The company's already cutting down. Cutting down? Yes. You see, this factory was only open to take care of government contracts. Now that the contracts are being terminated, unfortunately... Uh, yes, there's not much use in my asking you for a job, Ben. Asking me for what? I was going to ask you for what. Why you foreflusher? You got me over here to dinner just so that you could ask me... Now, just a minute, just a minute. Didn't you do the same? What? Uh, uh, yeah. Uh, yes, I did. Confounded Huffstone, do you realize there's another income tax installment due December 15th? Do I realize it? I'm a month overdue on the last one. And with prices, what they are? You know I paid a grocery bill of $97 last month? $97. I can well believe it. I wish you could see my hotel bill and my car falling to pieces. You gotta have my brakes relined. Tell you, Huffstone, I don't know what this country is coming to. Quiet. Here comes our hostess. Oh, yeah. I suppose you've settled the fate of the world, you two. Won't you join me in the pond? Oh, by all means. After you, Mr. Huffstone. Oh, no, after you, Mr. Gildersleeve. Thank you. Yes, as I was saying, Mr. Huffstone, my faith in the future of post-war industry in this country remains unwavering. Exactly my opinion, Mr. Gildersleeve. We see eye to eye. Yes, sir. I believe we face a future that'll be measured, not in thousands, not in millions, but in billions. Let me know if you hear of anything, Humpy. I'll do that, Gildersleeve. Yes, sir. They're great days ahead. Well, Pee-Vee, that's the way it is. McGee turned out to be a faker, and Humpstone was a fraud. Well, you know what they say, Mr. Gildersleeve, the best-made plans of mys and men gang after gle. Yeah, yeah, that's right. Well, it's all water over the dam now anyway. Just have to get out and find work, I guess. That's the main thing, anyway, to be working. They say it's work that makes the world go round. Honest toil, nothing to be shamed up. Work. Yeah, I guess that's the most important thing in a man's life. He's work. That's right. Yes, sir, work. By George, how I hate it. Good night, Pee-Vee. Good night, everybody. It's the Wackenburg Lodge, Sweden. This is Ken Carpenter speaking for the Calf Seas Company, makers of Parquet Margarine, and a complete line of famous quality food products. Staff advise you to listen again next week for the further adventures of the great Gildersleeve. Christmas in the air these brisk autumn days is your cue to add more zest, more flavor sparkle to foods. Yes, appetites are sharper, so now's the time to zip up food flavors with craft-prepared mustards. One popular variety you'll surely want to try is tangy golden craft salad mustard, the mustard that's so mild yet so downright appetizing, blended into cooked foods or added to tempting sandwich spreads, lively salad dressings, and delicious fillings for deviled eggs. If you're baking a ham, be sure to mix craft salad mustard in with your brown sugar coating to seal in the ham's savory juices and to add an extra flavor tang. Also, be sure to stock up tomorrow on that other popular favorite, the sharper craft mustard with nippy horseradish added. Your dealer has both delicious varieties. Both are sure to please. So remember to buy nippy craft horseradish mustard and tangy golden craft salad mustard.