 But there are moments how close my daughter cried, seriously, because my real mom would call me and she wouldn't want to hear anything done. Give it, what are you waiting for? Doris is like, what is it? You know and when this is not a pleasant news to talk about but then unfortunately I have a first cousin who have only one child. Unfortunately she lost the child. When she lost that child it became a topic like I was a family topic. Everybody calls me and use that as an advice why I should add more kids to mine. And I wasn't in a position to explain what I was going through either. So I always take it to cry. I cry my head off in my room, I come out looking like there is no problem. I go to Facebook and fool social media and fool my pains away. Yes basically I will be fooling with friends in buses and laughing or as if I am aimless, no. The pain was too much to bear. So that was the only thing that was sustaining me at the point. There are points I am on Facebook fooling. I am in the hospital bed like after miscarriage. I am covering the hospital bed but I can't put that in the social media. So you wouldn't know where I was at that particular moment.