 CHAPTER 30 THE KINGDOM OF GREATNESS, THE PILGREM, A DREAM Ever a man like Hurswood would be in Chicago, it is very evident that he would be but an inconspicuous drop in an ocean like New York. In Chicago, whose populations still ranged about 500,000, millionaires were not numerous. The rich had not become so conspicuously rich as to drown all moderate incomes in obscurity. The attention of the inhabitants was not so distracted by local celebrities in the dramatic, artistic, social, and religious fields as to shut the well-positioned man from view. In Chicago the two roads to distinction were politics and trade. In New York the roads were any one of a half hundred, and each had been diligently pursued by hundreds so that celebrities were numerous. The sea was already full of whales, a common fish must needs disappear wholly from view, remain unseen. In other words, Hurswood was nothing. There is a more subtle result of such a situation as this, which, though not always taken into account, produces tragedies of the world. The great create an atmosphere which reacts badly upon the small. This atmosphere is easily and quickly felt. Look among the magnificent residences, the splendid ecipages, the gilded shops, restaurants, resorts of all kind. Scent the flowers, the silks, the wines, drink of the laughter springing from the soul of luxurious content, of the glances which gleam like faint light from defiant spears. Feel the quality of the smiles which cut like glistening swords and of strides born of place, and you shall know of what is the atmosphere of the high and mighty. Little use to argue that of such is not the kingdom of greatness, but so long as the world is attracted by this, and the human heart views this as the one desirable realm which it must attain, so long to the heart will this remain the realm of greatness. So long also will the atmosphere of this realm work its desperate results in the soul of man. It is like a chemical reagent. One day of it, like one drop of the other, will so affect and discolor the views, the aims, the desire of the mind that it will thereafter remain forever died. A day of it to the untried mind is like opium to the untried body. A craving is set up which, if gratified, shall eternally result in dreams and death, I, dreams unfulfilled, gnawing, luring, idle phantoms which beckon and lead, beckon and lead, until death and dissolution dissolve their power and restore us blind to nature's heart. A man of Hurswit's age and temperament is not subject to the illusions and burning desires of youth, but neither has he the strength of hope which gushes as a fountain in the heart of youth. Such an atmosphere could not incite in him the cravings of a boy of eighteen, but in so far as they were excited the lack of hope made them proportionately bitter. He could not fail to notice the signs of affluence and luxury on every hand he had been to New York before and knew the resources of its folly. In part it was an awesome place to him, for here gathered all that he most respected on this earth—wealth, place, and fame. The majority of celebrities with whom he had tipped glasses in his day as manager hailed from this self-centered and populist spot. The most inviting stories of pleasure and luxury had been told of places and individuals here. He knew it to be true that unconsciously he was brushing elbows with fortune to live long day, that a hundred or five hundred thousand gave no one the privilege of living more than comfortably in so wealthy a place. Fashion and pomp required more ample sums, so that the poor man was nowhere. All this he realized, now quite sharply, as he faced the city, cut off from his friends, despoiled of his modest fortune and even his name, and forced to begin the battle for place and comfort all over again. He was not old, but he was not so dull, but that he could feel he soon would be. Of a sudden, then, this show of fine clothes, place, and power took on peculiar significance. It was emphasized by contrast with his own distressed state. And it was distressing. He soon found that freedom from fear of arrest was not the sine qua non of his existence. The danger dissolved, the next necessity became the grievous thing. The paltry sum of thirteen hundred and some odd dollars set against the need of rent, clothing, food, and pleasure for years to come was a spectacle little calculated to induce peace of mind in one who had been accustomed to spend five times that sum in the course of a year. He thought upon this subject rather actively the first few days he was in New York and decided that he must act quickly. As a consequence, he consulted the business opportunities advertised in the morning papers and began investigations on his own account. That was not before he had become settled, however. Carrie and he went looking for a flat as arranged and found one in seventy-eighth Street near Amsterdam Avenue. It was a five-story building and their flat was on the third floor. Owing to the fact that the street was not yet built up solidly, it was possible to see east to the green tops of the trees in Central Park and west to the broad waters of the Hudson, a glimpse of which was to be had out of the west windows. For the privilege of six rooms in a bath running in a straight line, they were compelled to pay thirty-five dollars a month. An average and yet exorbitant rent for a home at the time. Carrie noticed the difference between the size of the rooms here and in Chicago and mentioned it. You'll not find anything better, dear, said Hearstwood, unless you go into one of the old-fashioned houses and then you won't have any of these conveniences. Carrie picked out the new abode because of its newness and bright woodwork. It was one of the very new ones supplied with steam heat, which was a great advantage. The stationary range, hot and cold water, dumb wader, speaking tubes, and call bell for the janitor pleased her very much. She had enough of the instincts of a housewife to take great satisfaction in these things. Hearstwood made arrangement with one of the installment houses where they furnished the flat complete and accepted $50 down and $10 a month. He then had a little plate bearing the name G.W. Wheeler made, which he placed on his letterbox in the hall. It sounded exceedingly odd to Carrie to be called Mrs. Wheeler by the janitor, but in time she became used to it and looked upon the name as her own. These house details settled. Hearstwood visited some of the advertised opportunities to purchase an interest in some flourishing downtown bar. After the palatial resort in Adams Street, he could not stomach the commonplace saloons which he found advertised. He lost a number of days looking up these and finding them disagreeable. He did, however, gain considerable knowledge by talking, for he discovered the influence of Tammany Hall and the value of standing in with the police. The most profitable and flourishing places he found to be those which conducted anything but a legitimate business, such as that controlled by Fitzgerald and Moy. Elegant back rooms and private drinking booths on the second floor were usually adjuncts of a very profitable place. He saw by portly keepers whose shirt fronts shown with large diamonds and whose clothes were properly cut that the liquor business here, as elsewhere, yielded the same gold and profit. At last he found an individual who had a resort in Warren Street, which seemed an excellent venture. It was fairly well-appearing and susceptible of improvement. The owner claimed the business to be excellent, and it certainly looked so. We deal with a very good class of people, he told Hirstwood. Merchants, salesmen, and professionals, it's a well-dressed class, no bums, we don't allow them in the place. Hirstwood listened to the cash register ring and watched the trade for a while. It's profitable enough for two, is it? He asked. You can see for yourself if you're any judge of the liquor trade, said the owner. This is only one of two places I have. The other is down in Nassau Street. I can't tend them both alone. If I had someone who knew the business thoroughly, I wouldn't mind sharing with him in this one and let him manage the other. I've had experience enough, said Hirstwood Blanley. But he felt a little diffident about referring to Fitzgerald and Moye. Well, you can suit yourself, Mr. Wheeler, said the proprietor. He only offered a third interest in the stock, fixtures, and goodwill, and this in return for $1,000 in managerial ability on the part of the one who should come in. There was no property involved because the owner of the saloon merely rented from an estate. The offer was genuine enough, but it was a question that Hirstwood whether a third interest in that locality could be made to yield $150 a month, which he figured he must have in order to meet the ordinary family expenses and be comfortable. It was not the time, however, after many failures to find what he wanted to hesitate. It looked as though a third would pay $100 a month now. By judicious management and improvement it might be made to pay more. Accordingly he agreed to enter into partnership and made over his $1,000, preparing to enter the next day. His first inclination was to be elated, and he confided to carry that he thought he had made an excellent arrangement. Time, however, introduced food for reflection. He found his partner to be very disagreeable. Frequently he was the worse for liquor which made him surly. This was the last thing which Hirstwood was used to in business. Besides, the business varied. It was nothing like the class of patronage which he had enjoyed in Chicago. He found that it would take a long time to make friends. These people hurried in and out without seeking the pleasures of friendship. It was no gathering or lounging place. Whole days and weeks passed without one such hearty greeting as he had been want to enjoy every day in Chicago. For another thing Hirstwood missed celebrities, those well-dressed, elite individuals who lend grace to the average bars and bring news from far-off and exclusive circles. He did not see one such in a month. Evenings, when still at his post, he would occasionally read in the evening papers incidents concerning celebrities he knew, whom he had drunk of glass with many a time. They would visit a bar like Fitzgerald and Moyes in Chicago or the Hoffman House uptown, but he knew that he would never see them down here. Again, the business did not pay as well as he thought. It increased a little, but he found he would have to watch his household expenses, which was humiliating. At the very beginning it was a delight to come home late at night as he did and find Carrie. He managed to run up and take dinner with her between six and seven, and to remain home until nine o'clock in the morning. But the novelty of this waned after a time, and he began to feel the drag of his duties. The first month had scarcely passed before Carrie said, in a very natural way, I think I'll go down this week and buy a dress. What kind? said Hurswood. Oh, something for streetwear. All right, he said smiling, although he noted mentally that it would be more agreeable to his finances if she didn't. Nothing was said about it the next day, but the following morning he asked, have you done anything about your dress? Not yet, said Carrie. He paused a few moments, as if in thought. And then he said, would you mind putting it off a few days? No, replied Carrie, who did not catch the drift of his remarks. She had never thought of him in connection with money troubles before. Why? Well, I'll tell you, said Hurswood. This investment of mine is taking a lot of money just now. I expect to get it all back shortly, but just at present I'm running close. Oh, answered Carrie. Why, certainly, dear, why didn't you tell me before? It wasn't necessary, said Hurswood. For all her acquiescence there was something about the way Hurswood spoke, which reminded Carrie of Druitt and his little deal which he was always about to put through. It was only the thought of a second, but it was a beginning. It was something new in her thinking of Hurswood. Other things followed from time to time, little things of the same sort, which in their cumulative effect were eventually equal to a full revelation. Carrie was not dull, by any means. Two persons cannot long dwell together without coming to an understanding of one another. The mental difficulties of an individual reveal themselves whether he voluntarily confesses them or not. Trouble gets in the air and contributes gloom, which speaks for itself. Hurswood dressed as nicely as usual, but they were the same clothes he had in Canada. Carrie noticed that he did not install a large wardrobe, though his own was anything but large. She noticed also that he did not suggest many amusements, said nothing about the food, seemed concerned about his business. This was not the easy Hurswood of Chicago, not the liberal opulent Hurswood she had known. The change was too obvious to escape detection. In time she began to feel that a change had come about and that she was not in his confidence. He was evidently secretive and kept his own counsel. She found herself asking him questions about little things. This is a disagreeable state to a woman. Great love makes it seem reasonable, sometimes plausible, but never satisfactory. Where great love is not, a more definite and less satisfactory conclusion is reached. As for Hurswood, he was making a great fight against the difficulties of a changed condition. He was too shrewd not to realize the tremendous mistake he had made and appreciate that he had done well in getting where he was. And yet he could not help contrasting his present state with his former, hour after hour and day after day. Besides, he had the disagreeable fear of meeting old friends ever since one such encounter which he made shortly after his arrival in the city. It was in broadway that he saw a man approaching him who he knew. There was no time for simulating non-recognition. The exchange of glances had been too sharp, the knowledge of each other too apparent, so the friend, a buyer for one of the Chicago wholesale houses, felt perforce the necessity of stopping. How are you, he said, extending his hand with an evident mixture of feeling and a lack of plausible interest? Very well, said Hurswood, equally embarrassed. How is it with you? I'm all right. I'm down here doing a little buying. Are you located here now? Yes, said Hurswood. I have a place down in Warren Street. Is that so? said the friend. Glad to hear it. I'll come down and see you. Do, said Hurswood. So long, said the other man, smiling affably and going on. He never asked for my number, thought Hurswood. He wouldn't think of coming. He wiped his forehead, which had grown damp, and hoped sincerely that he would meet no one else. These things told upon his good nature such as it was. His one hope was that things would change for the better in a money way. He had Carrie. His furniture was being paid for. He was maintaining his position. As for Carrie, the amusements he could give her would have to do for the present. He could probably keep up his pretensions sufficiently long without exposure to make good, and then all would be well. He failed therein to take account of the frailties of human nature. The difficulties of matrimonial life. Carrie was young. With him and with her, varying mental states were common. Any moment the extremes of feeling might be anti-polarized at the dinner table. This often happens in the best regulated families. Little things brought out on such occasions need great love to obliterate them afterward. Where that is not, both parties count two and two and make a problem for a while. End of chapter 30. Recording by Bob Sage. Chapter 31 of Sister Carrie. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Roger Maline. Sister Carrie by Theodore Dreiser. Chapter 31. A Pet of Good Fortune. Broadway, Flants its Joy. The effect of the city and its own situation on Hearstwood was paralleled in the case of Carrie, who accepted the things Fortune provided with the most genial good nature. New York, despite her first expression of disapproval, soon interested her exceedingly. Its clear atmosphere, more populous thoroughfares, and peculiar indifference struck her forcibly. She had never seen such a little flat as hers, and yet it soon enlisted her affection. The new furniture made an excellent showing. The sideboard, which Hearstwood himself arranged, gleamed brightly. The furniture for each room was appropriate, and in the so-called parlor, or front room, was installed a piano, because Carrie said she would like to learn to play. She kept a servant, and developed rapidly in household tactics and information. For the first time in her life, she felt settled, and somewhat justified in the eyes of society, as she conceived of it. Her thoughts were merry and innocent enough. For a long while, she conserved herself over the arrangement of New York flats, and wondered at ten families living in one building, and all remaining strange and indifferent to each other. She also marveled at the whistles of the hundreds of vessels in the harbor. The long, low cries of the sound steamers and ferry boats when fog was on. The mere fact that these things spoke from the sea made them wonderful. She looked much at what she could see of the Hudson from her west windows, and of the great city building up rapidly on either hand. It was much to ponder over, and suffice to entertain her for more than a year without becoming stale. For another thing, Hurstwood was exceedingly interesting in his affection for her. Troubled as he was, he never exposed his difficulties to her. He carried himself with the same self-important air, took his new state with easy familiarity, and rejoiced in Carrie's proclivities and successes. Each evening he arrived promptly to dinner and found the little dining-room a most inviting spectacle. In a way, the smallness of the room added to its luxury. It looked full and replete. The white-covered table was arrayed with pretty dishes, and lighted with a four-armed candelabra, each light of which was topped with a red shade. Between Carrie and the girl, the steaks and chops came out all right, and canned goods did the rest for a while. Carrie studied the art of making biscuit, and soon reached the stage where she could show a plate of light-palatable morsels for her labor. In this manner, the second, third, and fourth months passed. Winter came, and with it, a feeling that indoors was best, so that the attending of theaters was not much talked of. Hurstwood made great efforts to meet all expenditures without a show of feeling one way or the other. He pretended that he was reinvesting his money in strengthening the business for greater ends in the future. He contented himself with the very moderate allowance of personal apparel, and rarely suggested anything for Carrie. Thus, the first winter passed. In the second year, the business which Hurstwood managed did increase somewhat. He got out of it regularly, the $150 per month which he had anticipated. Unfortunately, by this time, Carrie had reached certain conclusions, and he had scraped up a few acquaintances. Being of a passive and receptive rather than an active and aggressive nature, Carrie accepted the situation. Her state seemed satisfactory enough. Once in a while, they would go to a theater together, occasionally in season, to the beaches and different points about the city, but they picked up no acquaintances. Hurstwood naturally abandoned his show of fine manners with her and modified his attitude to one of easy familiarity. There were no misunderstandings, no apparent differences of opinion. In fact, without money or visiting friends, he led a life which could neither arouse jealousy nor comment. Carrie rather sympathized with his efforts and thought nothing upon her lack of entertainment such as she had enjoyed in Chicago. New York, as a corporate entity, and her flat, temporarily seemed sufficient. However, as Hurstwood's business increased, he, as stated, began to pick up acquaintances. He also began to allow himself more clothes. He convinced himself that his home life was very precious to him, but allowed that he could occasionally stay away from dinner. The first time he did this, he sent a message saying that he would be detained. Carrie ate alone and wished that it might not happen again. The second time, also, he sent word, but at the last moment. The third time, he forgot entirely and explained afterwards. These events were months apart each. Where were you, George? Asked Carrie after the first absence. Tied up at the office, he said genially. There were some accounts I had to straighten. I'm sorry you couldn't get home, she said kindly. I was fixin' to have such a nice dinner. The second time, he gave a similar excuse, but the third time, the feeling about it in Carrie's mind was a little bit out of the ordinary. I couldn't get home, he said, when he came home later in the evening. I was so busy. Couldn't you have sent me word, asked Carrie? I meant to, he said, but you know, I forgot about it until it was too late to do any good. And I had such a good dinner, said Carrie. Now, it so happened that from his observations of Carrie, he began to imagine that she was of the thoroughly domestic type of mind. He really thought, after a year, that her chief expression in life was finding its natural channel in household duties. Notwithstanding the fact that he had observed her act in Chicago, and that during the past year he had only seen her limited in her relations to her flat and him by conditions which he made, and that she had not gained any friends or associates, he drew this peculiar conclusion. With it came a feeling of satisfaction in having a wife who could thus be content, and this satisfaction worked its natural result. That is, since he imagined he saw her satisfied, he felt called upon to give only that which contributed to such satisfaction. He supplied the furniture, the decorations, the food, and the necessary clothing. Thoughts of entertaining her, or leading her out into the shine and show of life, grew less and less. He felt attracted to the outer world, but did not think she would care to go along. Once he went to the theater alone. Another time he joined a couple of his new friends at an evening game of poker. Since his money feathers were beginning to grow again, he felt like sprucing about. All this, however, in a much less imposing way than had been his want in Chicago. He avoided the gay places where he would be apt to meet those who had known him. Now, Cary began to feel this in various sensory ways. She was not the kind to be seriously disturbed by his actions. Not loving him greatly, she could not be jealous in a disturbing way. In fact, she was not jealous at all. Hurstwood was pleased with her placid manner when he should have duly considered it. When he did not come home, it did not seem anything like a terrible thing to her. She gave him credit for having the usual allurements of men, people to talk to, places to stop, friends to consult with. She was perfectly willing that he should enjoy himself in this way, but she did not care to be neglected herself. Her state still seemed fairly reasonable, however. All she did observe was that Hurstwood was somewhat different. Sometime in the second year of their residence in 78th Street, the flat across the hall from Cary became vacant, and into it moved a very handsome young woman and her husband, with both of whom Cary afterwards became acquainted. This was brought about solely by the arrangement of the flat, which were united in one place, as it were, by the dumbwaiter. This useful elevator, by which fuel, groceries, and the like were sent up from the basement, and garbage and waste were sent down, was used by both residents on one floor, that is, a small door opened into it from each flat. If the occupants of both flats answered to the whistle of the janitor at the same time, they would stand face to face when they opened the dumbwaiter doors. One morning, when Cary went to remove her paper, the newcomer, a handsome brunette of perhaps 23 years of age, was there for a like purpose. She was in a night robe and dressing gown, with her hair very much tousled, but she looked so pretty and good-natured that Cary instantly conceived a liking for her. The newcomer did no more than smile shame-facedly, but it was sufficient. Cary felt that she would like to know her, and a similar feeling stirred in the mind of the other, who admired Cary's innocent face. That's a real pretty woman who has moved in next door, said Cary to Hearstwood at the breakfast table. Who are they? asked Hearstwood. I don't know, said Cary. The name on the bell is Vance. Someone over there plays beautifully. I guess it must be she. Well, you never can tell what sort of people you're living next to in this town, can you? said Hearstwood, expressing the customary New York opinion about neighbors. Just think, said Cary. I've been in this house with nine other families for over a year, and I don't know a soul. These people have been here over a month, and I haven't seen anyone before this morning. It's just as well, said Hearstwood. You never know who you're gonna get in with. Some of these people are pretty bad company. I expect so, said Cary agreeably. The conversation turned to other things, and Cary thought no more upon the subject until a day or two later, when, going out to market, she encountered Mrs. Vance coming in. The latter recognized her and nodded, for which Cary returned a smile. This settled the probability of acquaintanceship. If there had been no faint recognition in this occasion, there would have been no future association. Cary saw no more of Mrs. Vance for several weeks, but she heard her play through the thin walls which divided the front rooms of the flats, and was pleased by the merry selection of pieces and the brilliance of their rendition. She could play only moderately herself, and such variety as Mrs. Vance exercised bordered, for Cary, upon the verge of great art. Everything she had seen and heard thus far, the mirrored scraps and shadows, indicated that these people were, in a measure, refined and in comfortable circumstances. So Cary was ready for any extension of the friendships which might follow. One day, Cary's bell rang, and the servant, who was in the kitchen, pressed the button which caused the front door of the general entrance on the ground floor to be electrically unlatched. When Cary waited at her own door on the third floor to see who it might be coming up to call on her, Mrs. Vance appeared. I hope you'll excuse me, she said. I went out a while ago and forgot my outside key, so I thought I'd ring your bell. This was a common trick of other residents of the building whenever they'd forgotten their outside keys. They did not apologize for it, however. Certainly, said Cary, I'm glad you did. I do the same thing sometimes. Isn't it just delightful weather? Said Mrs. Vance, pausing for a moment. Thus, after a few more preliminaries, this visiting acquaintance was well-launched, and in the young Mrs. Vance, Cary found an agreeable companion. On several occasions, Cary visited her and was visited. Both flats were good to look upon, though that of the vances tended somewhat more to the luxurious. I want you to come over this evening and meet my husband, said Mrs. Vance, not long after their intimacy began. He wants to meet you. You play cards, don't you? A little, said Cary. Well, we'll have a game of cards. If your husband comes home, bring him over. He's not coming to dinner tonight, said Cary. Well, when he does come, we'll call him in. Cary acquiesced, and that evening met the portly Vance, an individual a few years younger than Hearstwood, and who owed his seemingly comfortable matrimonial state much more to his money than to his good looks. He thought well of Cary upon the first glance, and laid himself out to be genial, teaching her a new game of cards and talking to her about New York and its pleasures. Mrs. Vance played some upon the piano, and at last Hearstwood came. I am very glad to meet you, he said to Mrs. Vance when Cary introduced him, showing much of the old grace which had captivated Cary. Did you think your wife had run away? Said Mr. Vance, extending his hand upon introduction. I didn't know, but what she might have found a better husband, said Hearstwood. He now turned his attention to Mrs. Vance, and in a flash, Cary saw again what she for some time had subconsciously missed in Hearstwood, the adroitness and flattery of which he was capable. She also saw that she was not well-dressed, not nearly as well-dressed as Mrs. Vance. These were not vague ideas any longer. Her situation was cleared up for her. She felt that her life was becoming stale, and therein she felt caused for gloom. The old, helpful, urging melancholy was restored. The desirous Cary was whispered to concerning her possibilities. There were no immediate results to this awakening for Cary had little power of initiative, but nevertheless she seemed ever capable of getting herself into the tide of change where she would be easily born along. Hearstwood noticed nothing. He had been unconscious of the marked contrast which Cary had observed. He did not even detect the shade of melancholy which settled in her eyes. Worst of all, she now began to feel the loneliness of the flat and seek the company of Mrs. Vance, who liked her exceedingly. Let's go to the matinee this afternoon, said Mrs. Vance, who had stepped across into Cary's flat one morning, still arrayed in a soft pink dressing gown which she had donned upon rising. Hearstwood and Vance had gone their separate ways nearly an hour before. All right, said Cary, noticing the air of the petted and well-groomed woman in Mrs. Vance's general appearance. She looked as though she was dearly loved and her every wish gratified. What shall we see? Oh, I do want to see Nat Goodwin, said Mrs. Vance. I do think he is the jolliest actor. The papers say this is such a good play. What time will we have to start? asked Cary. Let's go at one and walk down Broadway from 34th Street, said Mrs. Vance. It's such an interesting walk. He's at the Madison Square. I'll be glad to go, said Cary. How much will we have to pay for seats? Not more than a dollar, said Mrs. Vance. The latter departed, and at one o'clock reappeared, stunningly arrayed in a dark blue walking dress with a knobby hat to match. Cary had gotten herself up charmingly enough, but this woman pained her by contrast. She seemed to have so many dainty little things which Cary had not. There were trinkets of gold and elegant green leather purse to set with her initials, a fancy handkerchief exceedingly rich in design, and the like. Cary felt that she needed more and better clothes to compare with this woman, and that anyone looking at the two would pick Mrs. Vance for her raiment alone. It was a trying, though rather unjust thought, for Cary had now developed an equally pleasing figure and had grown in comeliness until it was thoroughly attractive type of her color of beauty. There was some difference in the clothing of the two, both of quality and age, but this difference was not especially noticeable. It served, however, to augment Cary's dissatisfaction with her state. The walk down Broadway, then as now, was one of the remarkable features of the city. There gathered, before the matinee and afterwards, not only all the pretty women who loved a showy parade, but the men who loved to gaze upon and admire them. It was a very imposing procession of pretty faces and fine clothes. Women appeared in their very best hats, shoes, and gloves, and walked arm in arm on their way to the fine shops or theaters strung along from 14th to 34th streets. Equally, the men paraded with the very latest they could afford. A tailor might have secured hints on suit measurements, a shoemaker on proper lasts and colors, a hatter on hats. It was literally true that if a lover of fine clothes secured a new suit, it was sure to have its first airing on Broadway. So true and well understood was this fact that several years later a popular song detailing this and other facts concerning the afternoon parade on matinee days and entitled, What Right Has He On Broadway was Published and had quite a vogue about the music halls of the city. In all her stay in the city, Carrie had never heard of this showy parade, had never even been on Broadway when it was taking place. On the other hand, it was a familiar thing to Mrs. Vance, who not only knew of it as an entity, but had often been in it, going purposely to see and be seen, to create a stir with her beauty and to spell any tendency to fall short in dressiness by contrasting herself with the beauty and fashion of the town. Carrie stepped along easily enough after they got out of the car at 34th street, but soon fixed her eyes upon the lovely company which swarmed by and with them as they proceeded. She noticed suddenly that Mrs. Vance's manner had rather stiffened under the gaze of handsome men and elegantly dressed ladies, whose glances were not modified by any rules of propriety. To stare seemed the proper and natural thing. Carrie found herself stared at and ogled. Men in flawless top coats, high hats, and silver-headed walking sticks, elbowed near and looked too often into conscious eyes. Ladies rustled by in dresses of stiff cloth, shedding affected smiles and perfume. Carrie noticed among them the sprinkling of goodness and the heavy percentage of vice. The rused and powdered cheeks and lips, the scented hair, the large, misty and languorous eye were common enough. With a start she awoke to find that she was in fashion's crowd, on parade in a show place and such a show place. Jewelers' windows gleamed along the path with remarkable frequency. Florist shops, furriers, haberdasher's, confectioners, all followed in rapid succession. The street was full of coaches. Pompous doormen in immense coats, shiny brass belts and buttons, weighted in front of expensive sales rooms. Coachmen in tan boots, white tails and blue jackets, weighted obsequiously for the mistresses of carriages who were shopping inside. The whole street bore the flavor of riches and show, and Carrie felt that she was not of it. She could not, for the life of her, assume the attitude and smartness of Mrs. Vance, who, in her beauty, was all assurance. She could only imagine that it must be evident to many that she was the less handsomely dressed of the two. It cut her to the quick, and she resolved that she would not come here again until she looked better. At the same time, she longed to feel the delight of parading here as an equal. Then she would be happy. End of chapter 31, recording by Roger Malim. Chapter 32 of Sister Carrie. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Roger Malim. Sister Carrie by Theodore Dreiser. Chapter 32, The Feast of Bel Shazar, a seer to translate. Such feelings as were generated in Carrie by this walk put her in an exceedingly receptive mood for the pathos which followed in the play. The actor whom they had gone to see had achieved his popularity by presenting a mellow type of comedy in which sufficient sorrow was introduced to lend contrast and relief to humor. For Carrie, as we well know, the stage had a great attraction. She had never forgotten her one histrionic achievement in Chicago. It dwelt in her mind and occupied her consciousness during many long afternoons in which her rocking chair and her latest novel contributed the only pleasures of her state. Never could she witness a play without having her own ability vividly brought to consciousness. Some scenes made her long to be a part of them to give expression to the feelings which she, in the place of the character represented, would feel. Almost invariably, she would carry the vivid imaginations away with her and brood over them the next day alone. She lived as much in these things as in the realities which made up her daily life. It was not often that she came to the play stirred to her heart's core by actualities. Today, a low song of longing had been set singing in her heart by the finery, the merriment, the beauty she had seen. Oh, these women who had passed her by hundreds and hundreds strong, who were they? Wents came the rich, elegant dresses, the astonishingly colored buttons, the knickknacks of silver and gold. Where were these lovely creatures housed? Amid what elegancies of carved furniture, decorated walls, elaborate tapestries, did they move? Where were their rich apartments loaded with all that money could provide? In what stables champed these sleek, nervous horses and rested the gorgeous carriages? Where lounge the richly groomed footmen? Oh, the mansions, the lights, the perfume, the loaded boudoirs and tables. New York must be filled with such bowers or the beautiful, insolent, supercilious creatures could not be. Some hothouses held them. It ached her to know that she was not one of them. That alas, she had dreamed a dream and it had not come true. She wondered at her own solitude these two years past, her indifference to the fact that she had never achieved what she had expected. The play was one of those drawing room concoctions in which charmingly overdressed ladies and gentlemen suffer the pangs of love and jealousy amid gilded surroundings. Such bommos are ever enticing to those who have all their days long for such material surroundings and have never had them gratified. They have the charm of showing suffering under ideal conditions. Who would not grieve upon a gilded chair? Who would not suffer amid perfume tapestries, cushioned furniture and liveried servants? Grief under such circumstances becomes an enticing thing. Carrie longed to be of it. She wanted to take her sufferings, whatever they were in such a world, or failing that at least to simulate them under such charming conditions upon the stage. So affected was her mind by what she had seen that the play now seemed an extraordinarily beautiful thing. She was soon lost in the world it represented and wished that she might never return. Between the acts she studied the galaxy of matinee attendance in front rows and boxes and conceived a new idea of the possibilities of New York. She was sure she had not seen at all that the city was one whorl of pleasure and delight. Going out, the same Broadway taught her a sharper lesson. The scene she had witnessed coming down was now augmented and at its height. Such a crush of finery and folly she had never seen. It clinched her convictions concerning her state. She had not lived, could not lay claim to having lived until something of this had come into her own life. Women were spending money like water. She could see that in every elegant shop she passed. Flowers, candy, jewelry seemed the principal things in which the elegant dames were interested. And she had scarcely enough pinned money to indulge in such outings as this a few times a month. That night, the pretty little flat seemed a commonplace thing. It was not what the rest of the world was enjoying. She saw the servant working at dinner with an indifferent eye. In her mind were running scenes of the play. Particularly, she remembered one beautiful actress, the sweetheart, who had been wooed and won. The grace of this woman had won Carrie's heart. Her dresses had been all that art could suggest. Her sufferings had been so real. The anguish which she had portrayed Carrie could feel. It was done as she was sure she could do it. There were places in which she could even do better. Hence, she repeated the lines to herself. Oh, if she could only have such a part, how broad would her life be? She too could act appealingly. When Hearstwood came, Carrie was moody. She was sitting, rocking, and thinking, and did not care to have her enticing imaginations broken in upon. So she said little, or nothing. What's the matter, Carrie? Said Hearstwood after a time, noticing her quiet, almost moody state. Nothing, said Carrie. I don't feel very well tonight. Not sick, are you? He asked, approaching very close. Oh no, she said almost pettishly. I just don't feel very good. That's too bad, he said, stepping away and adjusting his vest after his slight bending over. I was thinking we might go to a show tonight. I don't want to go, said Carrie, annoyed that her fine visions should have thus been broken into and driven out of her mind. I've been to the matinee this afternoon. All you have, said Hearstwood. What was it? A gold mine. How was it? Pretty good, said Carrie. And you don't want to go again tonight? I don't think I do, she said. Nevertheless, wakened out of her melancholia and called to the dinner table, she changed her mind. A little food in the stomach does wonders. She went again, and in so doing, temporarily recovered her equanimity. The great awakening blow had, however, been delivered. As often as she might recover from these discontented thoughts now, they would occur again. Time and repetition, ah, the wonder of it. The dropping water and the solid stone, how utterly it yields at last. Not long after this matinee experience, perhaps a month, Mrs. Vance invited Carrie to an evening at the theater with them. She heard Carrie say that Hearstwood was not coming home to dinner. Why don't you come with us? Don't get dinner for yourself. We're going down to Sherry's for dinner, and then over to the Lyceum. Come along with us. I think I will, answered Carrie. She began to dress at three o'clock for her departure at half past five for the noted dining room, which was then crowding Delmonico's for position in society. In this dressing, Carrie showed the influence of her association with the dashing Mrs. Vance. She had constantly had her attention called by the latter to novelties in everything which pertains to a woman's apparel. Are you gonna get such and such a hat, or have you seen the new gloves with the oval pearl buttons? Were but sample phrases out of a large selection. The next time you get a pair of shoes, dearie, said Mrs. Vance, get button, with thick soles and patent leather tips. They're all their age this fall. I will, said Carrie. Oh, dear, have you seen the new shirt-waists at Altman's? They have some of the loveliest patterns. I saw one there that I know would look stunning on you. I said so when I saw it. Carrie listened to these things with considerable interest, for they were suggested with more friendliness than is usually common between pretty women. Mrs. Vance liked Carrie's stable good nature so well that she really took pleasure in suggesting to her the latest things. Why don't you get yourself one of those nice surge skirts they're selling at Lord and Taylor's, she said one day. They're the circular style and they're gonna be worn from now on. A dark blue one would look so nice on you. Carrie listened with eager ears. These things never came up between her and Hearstwood. Nevertheless, she began to suggest one thing and another which Hearstwood agreed to without any expression of opinion. He noticed the new tendency on Carrie's part and finally, hearing much of Mrs. Vance and her delightful ways, suspected whence the change came. He was not inclined to offer the slightest objection so soon but he felt that Carrie's wants were expanding. This did not appeal to him exactly but he cared for her in his own way and so the thing stood. Still, there was something in the details of the transaction which caused Carrie to feel that her requests were not a delight to him. He did not enthuse over the purchases. This led her to believe that neglect was creeping in and so another small wedge was entered. Nevertheless, one of the results of Mrs. Vance's suggestions was the fact that on this occasion Carrie was dressed somewhat to her own satisfaction. She had on her best but there was comfort in the thought that if she must confine her to a best, it was neat and fitting. She looked to the well-groomed woman of 21 and Mrs. Vance praised her which brought color to her plump cheeks and a noticeable brightness into her large eyes. It was threatening rain and Mr. Vance at his wife's request had called a coach. Your husband isn't coming, suggested Mr. Vance as he met Carrie in his little parlor. No, he said he wouldn't be home for dinner. Better leave a little note for him, telling him where we are, he might turn up. I will, said Carrie, who had not thought of it before. Tell him we'll be at Sherry's until eight o'clock. He knows, though, I guess. Carrie crossed the hall with rustling skirts and scrawled the note gloves on. When she returned, a newcomer was in the Vance flat. Mrs. Wheeler, let me introduce Mr. Ames, a cousin of mine, said Mrs. Vance. He's going along with us, aren't you, Bob? I'm very glad to meet you, said Ames, bowing politely to Carrie. The latter caught in a glance the dimensions of a very stalwart figure. She also noticed that he was smooth-shaven, good-looking, and young, but nothing more. Mr. Ames is just down in New York for a few days, put in Vance, and we're trying to show him around a little. Oh, are you, said Carrie, taking another glance at the newcomer? Yes, I am just on here from Indianapolis for a week or so, said young Ames, seating himself on the edge of a chair to wait while Mrs. Vance completed the last touches of her toilet. I guess you find New York quite a thing to see, don't you, said Carrie, venturing something to avoid a possible deadly silence? It is rather a large to get around in a week, answered Ames pleasantly. He was an exceedingly genial soul, this young man, and wholly free of affectation. It seemed to Carrie he was as yet only overcoming the last traces of the bashfulness of youth. He did not seem apt at conversation, but he had had the merit of being well-dressed and wholly courageous. Carrie felt as if it were not going to be hard to talk to him. Well, I guess we're ready now. The coach is outside. Come on, people, said Mrs. Vance, coming in smiling. Bob, you'll have to look after Mrs. Wheeler. I'll try to, said Bob, smiling, and edging closer to Carrie. You won't need much watching, though, will you? He volunteered in a sort of ingratiating and help me out kind of way. Not very, I hope, said Carrie. They descended the stairs, Mrs. Vance offering suggestions, and climbed into the open coach. All right, said Vance, slamming the coach door, and the conveyance rolled away. What is it we're going to see? asked Ames. So thern, said Vance, in Lord Chumley. Oh, he is so good, said Mrs. Vance. He's just the funniest man. I noticed the papers praise it, said Ames. I haven't any doubt, put in Vance, but we'll all enjoy it very much. Ames had taken a seat beside Carrie, and accordingly he felt at his bounden duty to pay her some attention. He was interested to find her so young a wife, and so pretty, though it was only a respectful interest. There was nothing of the dashing ladies' man about him. He had respect for the married state, and thought only of some pretty marriageable girls in Indianapolis. Are you a born New Yorker? asked Ames of Carrie. Oh no, I've only been here two years. Oh well, you've had time to see a great deal of it anyhow. I don't seem to have, answered Carrie. It's about as strange to me as when I first came here. You're not from the West, are you? Yes, I'm from Wisconsin, she answered. Well, it does seem as if most people in this town haven't been here so very long. I hear of lots of Indiana people in my line who are here. What is your line? asked Carrie. I'm connected with an electrical company, said the youth. Carrie followed up this desultory conversation with occasional interruptions from the Vances. Several times it became general and partially humorous, and in that manner the restaurant was reached. Carrie had noticed the appearance of gaiety and pleasure-seeking in the streets, which they were following. Coaches were numerous, pedestrians many, and in 59th Street, the streetcars were crowded. At 59th Street and Fifth Avenue, a blaze of lights from several new hotels which bordered the Plaza Square gave a suggestion of sumptuous hotel life. Fifth Avenue, the home of the wealthy, was noticeably crowded with carriages and gentlemen in evening dress. At Sherry's, an imposing doorman opened the coach door and helped them out. Young Ames held Carrie's elbow as he helped her up the steps. They entered the lobby, already swarming with patrons, and then, after divesting themselves of their wraps, went into a sumptuous dining room. In all Carrie's experience, she had never seen anything like this. In the whole time she had been in New York, Hurstwood's modified state had not permitted his bringing her to such a place. There was an almost indescribable atmosphere about it which convinced the newcomer that this was the proper thing. Here was the place where the matter of expense limited the patrons to the moneyed or pleasure-loving class. Carrie had read of it often in the morning and evening world. She had seen notices of dances, parties, balls, and suppers at Sherry's. The Mrs. So-and-So would give a party on Wednesday evening at Sherry's. Young Mr. So-and-So would entertain a party of friends at a private luncheon on the 16th at Sherry's. The common run of conventional, perfunctory notices of the doings of society, which she could scarcely refrain from scanning each day, had given her a distinct idea of the gorgeousness and luxury of this wonderful temple of gastronomy. Now, at last, she was really in it. She had come up the imposing steps guarded by the large and portly doorman. She had seen the lobby guarded by another large and portly gentleman and had been weighted upon by uniformed youths who took care of canes, overcoats, and the like. Here was the splendid dining chamber, all decorated and aglow, with a wealthy eight. Ah, how fortunate was Mrs. Vance, young, beautiful, and well-off, at least sufficiently so to come here and a coach. What a wonderful thing it was to be rich. Vance led the way through lanes of shining tables at which were seated parties of two, three, four, five, or six. The air of assurance and dignity about it all was exceedingly noticeable to the Navitate. In Candescent Lights, the reflection of their glow in polished glasses and the shine of guilt upon the walls combined into one tone of light, which requires minutes of complacent observation to separate and take particular note of. The white shirt fronts of the gentleman, the bright costumes of the ladies, diamonds, jewels, fine feathers, all were exceedingly noticeable. Carrie walked with an air equal to that of Mrs. Vance and accepted the seat which the head waiter provided for her. She was keenly aware of all the little things that were done, the little genuflections and attentions of the waiters and head waiter, which Americans pay for. The air with which the latter pulled out each chair and the wave of the hand with which he motioned them to be seated were worth several dollars in themselves. Once seated, there began that exhibition of showy, wasteful, and unwholesome gastronomy as practiced by wealthy Americans, which is the wonder and astonishment of true culture and dignity the world over. The large bill of fare held an array of dishes sufficient to feed an army, sidelined with prices which made reasonable expenditure a ridiculous impossibility, an order of soup at 50 cents or a dollar with a dozen kinds to choose from, oysters in 40 styles and at 60 cents the half dozen, entrees, fish and meats at prices which would house one overnight in an average hotel, $1.50 and $2 seemed to be the most common figures upon this most tastefully printed bill of fare. Carrie noticed this and in scanning it, the price of spring chicken carried her back to that other bill of fare and far different occasion when for the first time she sat with Jeway in a good restaurant in Chicago. It was only momentary, a sad note, as out of an old song and then it was gone. But in that flash was seen the other Carrie, poor, hungry, drifting at her wit's ends and all Chicago a cold and closed world from which she only wandered because she could not find work. On the walls were designs in color, square spots of robin's egg blue set in ornate frames of gilt whose corners were elaborate moldings of fruit and flowers with fat cupids hovering in angelic comfort. On the ceilings were colored traceries with more gilt leading to a center where spread a cluster of lights, incandescent globes mingled with glittering prisms and stucco tendrils of gilt. The floor was of a reddish hue, waxed and polished and in every direction were mirrors, tall, brilliant, bevel edged mirrors, reflecting and re-reflecting forms, faces and candelabra, a score and a hundred times. The tables were not so remarkable in themselves and yet the imprint of sherry upon the napery, the name of Tiffany upon the silverware, the name of Haviland upon the china. And overall the glow of the small red candelabras and the reflected tints of the walls and garments and faces made them seem remarkable. Each waiter added an air of exclusiveness and elegance by the manner in which he bowed, scraped, touched and trifled with things. The exclusively personal attention which he devoted to each one, standing half bent, ear to one side, elbows a kimbo saying, soup, green turtle, yes. One portion, yes. Oysters, certainly. Half dozen, yes. Asparagus, olives, yes. It would be the same with each one, only Vance essayed to order for all, inviting counsel and suggestions. Carrie studied the company with open eyes. So this was high life in New York. It was so that the rich spent their days and evenings. Her poor little mind could not rise above applying each scene to all society. Every fine lady must be in the crowd on Broadway in the afternoon, in the theater at the matinee, in the coaches and dining halls at night. It must be glow and shine everywhere, with coaches waiting and footmen attending, and she was out of it. In too long years, she had never even been in a place such as this. Vance was in his element here, as Hurstwood would have been in former days. He ordered freely of soup, oysters, roast meats and side dishes, and had several bottles of wine brought, which were set down beside the table in a wicker basket. Ames was looking away rather abstractedly at the crowd, and showed an interesting profile to Carrie. His forehead was high, his nose rather large and strong, his chin moderately pleasing. He had a good, wide, well-shaped mouth, and his dark brown hair was parted slightly on one side. He seemed to have the least touch of boyishness to Carrie, and yet he was a man full grown. Do you know, he said, turning back to Carrie after his reflection, I sometimes think it is a shame for people to spend so much money this way. Carrie looked at him a moment with the faintest touch of surprise at his seriousness. He seemed to be thinking about something over which she had never pondered. Do you, she answered, interestingly. Yes, he said. They pay so much more than these things are worth, they put on so much show. I don't know why people shouldn't spend when they have it, said Mrs. Vance. It doesn't do any harm, said Vance, who was still studying the Bill of Fair, though he had ordered. Ames was looking away again, and Carrie was again looking at his forehead. To her, he seemed to be thinking about strange things. As he studied the crowd, his eye was mild. Look at that woman's dress over there, he said, again turning to Carrie and nodding in a direction. Where? said Carrie, following his eyes. Over there in the corner, way over. Do you see that brooch? Isn't it large? said Carrie. One of the largest clusters of jewels I have ever seen, said Ames. It is, isn't it? said Carrie. She felt as if she would like to be agreeable to this young man, and also there came with it, or perhaps preceded it, the slightest shade of a feeling that he was better educated than she was, that his mind was better. He seemed to look it, and the saving grace in Carrie was that she could understand that people could be wiser. She had seen a number of people in her life who reminded her of what she had vaguely come to think of as scholars. This strong young man beside her with his clear natural look seemed to get a hold of things which she did not quite understand, but approved of. It was fine to be so as a man, she thought. The conversation changed to a book that was having its vogue at the time, Molding a Maiden by Albert Ross. Mrs. Vance had read it. Vance had seen it discussed in some of the papers. A man can make quite a strike writing a book, said Vance. I noticed this fellow Ross has very much talked about. He was looking at Carrie as he spoke. I hadn't heard of him, said Carrie, honestly. Oh, I have, said Mrs. Vance. He's written lots of things. This last story is pretty good. He doesn't amount to much, said Ames. Carrie turned her eyes toward him as to an oracle. His stuff is nearly as bad as Dora Thorne, concluded Ames. Carrie felt this as a personal reproof. She read Dora Thorne or had a great deal in the past. It seemed only fair to her, but she supposed the people thought it very fine. Now, this clear-eyed, fine-headed youth who looked something like a student to her made fun of it. It was poor to him, not worth reading. She looked down, and for the first time felt the pain of not understanding. Yet there was nothing sarcastic or supercilious in the way Ames spoke. He had very little of that in him. Carrie felt that it was just kindly thought of a high order, the right thing to think, and wondered what else was right, according to him. He seemed to notice that she listened and rather sympathized with him, and from now on he talked mostly to her. As the waiter bowed and scraped about, felt the dishes to see if they were hot enough, brought spoons and forks, and did all those little attentive things calculated to impress the luxury of the situation upon the diner, Ames also leaned slightly to one side and told her of Indianapolis in an intelligent way. He really had a very bright mind, which was finding its chief development in electrical knowledge. His sympathies for other forms of information, however, and for types of people were quick and warm. The red glow on his head gave it a sandy tinge and put a bright glint in his eye. Carrie noticed all these things as he leaned toward her and felt exceedingly young. This man was far ahead of her. He seemed wiser than Hearstwood, saner and brighter than Dreway. He seemed innocent and clean, and she thought that he was exceedingly pleasant. She noticed also that his interest in her was a far-off one. She was not in his life, nor any of the things that touched his life. And yet now, as he spoke of these things, they appealed to her. I shouldn't care to be rich, he told her, as the dinner proceeded and the supply of food warmed up his sympathies. Not rich enough to spend my money this way. Oh, wouldn't you? Said Carrie. The to her new attitude forcing itself distinctly upon her for the first time. No, he said, what good would it do? A man doesn't need this sort of thing to be happy. Carrie thought of this doubtfully, but coming from him, it had weight with her. He probably could be happy, she thought to herself, all alone. He's so strong. Mr. and Mrs. Vance kept up a running fire of interruptions, and these impressive things by Ames came at odd moments. They were sufficient, however, for the atmosphere that went with this youth impressed itself upon Carrie without words. There was something in him or the world he moved in, which appealed to her. He reminded her of scenes she had seen on the stage, the sorrows and sacrifices that always went with, she knew not what. He had taken away some of the bitterness of the contrast between this life and her life, and all by a certain common difference which concerned only him. As they went out, he took her arm and helped her into the coach, and then they were off again, and so to the show. During the act, Carrie found herself listening to him very attentively. He mentioned things in the play which she most approved of, things which swayed her deeply. Don't you think it rather fine to be an actor? She asked once. Yes, I do, he said, to be a good one. I think the theater's a great thing. Just this little approval set Carrie's heart bounding. Ah, if she could only be an actress, a good one. This man was wise, he knew, and he approved of it. If she were a fine actress, such men as he would approve of her. She felt that he was good to speak as he had, although it did not concern her at all. She did not know why she felt this way. At the close of the show, it suddenly developed that he was not going back with him. Oh, aren't you? Said Carrie with an unwarrantable feeling. Oh, no, he said, I'm stopping right around here in 33rd Street. Carrie could not say anything else, but somehow this development shocked her. She had been regretting the wane of a pleasant evening, but she had thought there was half hour more. Oh, the half hours, the minutes of the world, what miseries and griefs are crowded into them. She said goodbye with feigned indifference. What matter could it make? Still, the coach seemed lorn. When she went into her own flat, she had this to think about. She did not know whether she would ever see this man anymore. What difference could it make? Hurstwood had returned and was already in bed. His clothes were scattered loosely about. Carrie came to the door and saw him, then retreated. She did not want to go in yet a while. She wanted to think it was disagreeable to her. Back in the dining room, she sat in her chair and rocked. Her little hands were folded tightly as she thought. Through a fog of longing and conflicting desires she was beginning to see. Oh, ye legions of hope and pity, of sorrow and pain. She was rocking and beginning to see. End of Chapter 32 Recording by Roger Maline Chapter 33 of Sister Carrie This is a library of the book. It is the library of Sister Carrie. This is a library of the book. All library of the book are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit library of the book. Recording by Roger Maline Sister Carrie by Theodore Dreiser Chapter 33 Without the Wall City The Slope of the Years This was nothing. Results from such things are usually long and growing. Morning brings a change of feeling. The existent condition invariably pleads for itself. It is only at odd moments that we get glimpses of the misery of things. The heart understands when it is confronted with contrasts. Take them away, and the aches subside. Mary went on, leading much this same life, for six months thereafter, or more. She did not see Ames any more. He called once upon the vances, but she only heard about it through the young wife. Then he went west, and there was a gradual subsidence of whatever personal attraction had existed. The mental effect of the thing had not gone, however, and never would entirely. She had an ideal to contrast men by, particularly men close to her. During all this time, a period rapidly approaching three years, Hearstwood had been moving along in an even path. There was no apparent slope downward, and distinctly none upward, so far as the casual observer might have seen. But psychologically there was a change, which was marked enough to suggest the future varied distinctly indeed. This was in the mere matter of the halt his career had received when he departed from Chicago. A man's fortune or material progress is very much the same as his bodily growth. Either he is growing stronger, healthier, wiser as the youth approaching manhood, or he is growing weaker, older, less incisive mentally as the man approaching old age. There are no other states. Frequently there is a period between the cessation of youthful accretion and the setting in, in the case of the middle-aged man of the tendency toward decay when two processes are almost perfectly balanced and there is little doing in either direction. Given time enough, however, the balance has become a sagging to the graveside. Slowly at first, then with a modest momentum, and at last the graveward process is in full swing. So it is, frequently, with man's fortune. If its process of accretion is never halted, if the balancing stage is never reached, there will be no toppling. Rich men are, frequently in these days, saved from this disillusion of their fortune by their ability to hire younger brains. These younger brains look upon the interests of the fortune as their own, and so steady and direct its progress. If each individual were left absolutely to the care of his own interests, and were given time enough in which to grow exceedingly old, his fortune would pass as a strength and will. He and his would be utterly dissolved and scattered under the four winds of the heavens. But now see we're in the parallel changes. A fortune, like a man, is an organism which draws to itself other minds and other strength than that inherent in the founder. Beside the young minds drawn to it by salaries, it becomes allied with young forces, which make for its existence even when the strength and wisdom of the founder are fading. It may be conserved by the growth of a community or of a state. It may be involved in providing something for which there is a growing demand. This removes it at once beyond the special care of the founder. It needs not so much foresight now as direction. The man wanes, the need continues or grows, and the fortune, fallen into whose hands it may, continues. Hence some men never recognize the turning in the tide of their abilities. It is only in chance cases were a fortune or a state of success is rested from them that the lack of ability to do as they did formally becomes apparent. Hurstwood, set down under new conditions, was in a position to see that he was no longer young. If he did not, it was due wholly to the fact that his state was so well balanced that an absolute change for the worse did not show. Not trained to reason or introspect himself, he could not analyze the change that was taking place in his mind and hence his body. But he felt the depression of it. Constant comparison between his old state and his new showed a balance for the worse, which produced a constant state of gloom or at least depression. Now it has been shown experimentally that a constantly subdued frame of mind produces certain poisons in the blood called catastates. Just as virtuous feelings of pleasure and delight produce helpful chemicals called anastates. The poisons generated by remorse in vain against the system and eventually produce marked physical deterioration. To these Hurstwood was subject. In the course of time it told upon his temper. His eye no longer possessed that buoyant searching shrewdness which had characterized it in Adam Street. His step was not as sharp and firm. He was given to thinking, thinking, thinking. The new friends he made were not celebrities. They were of a cheaper, a slightly more sensual and cruder grade. He could not possibly take the pleasure in this company that he had in that of those fine frequenters in the Chicago Resort. He was left to brood. Slowly, exceedingly slowly, his desire to greet, conciliate, and make at home these people who visited the Warren Street Place past from him. More and more slowly the significance of the realm he had left began to be clear. It did not seem so wonderful to be in it when he was in it. It had seemed very easy for anyone to get up there and have ample raiment and money to spend, but now that he was out of it, how far off it became. He began to see as once he's a city with a wall about it. Men were posted at the gates. You could not get in. Those inside did not care to come out to see who you were. They were so merry inside that all those outside were forgotten, and he was on the outside. Each day he could read in the evening papers of the doings within this walled city. In the notices of passengers for Europe he read the names of eminent frequenters of his old resort. In the theatrical column appeared, from time to time, announcements of the latest successes of men he had known. He knew that they were at their old gayities. Pullmans were hauling them to and fro about the land. Papers were greeting them with interesting mentions. The elegant lobbies of hotels and the glow of polished dining-rooms were keeping them close within the walled city. Men whom he had known, men whom he had tipped glasses with, rich men, and he was forgotten. Who is Mr. Wheeler? What was the Warren Street Resort? Bah. If one thinks that such thoughts do not come to so common a type of mind that such feelings require a higher mental development, I would urge for their consideration the fact that it is the higher mental development that does away with such thoughts. It is the higher mental development which induces philosophy and that fortitude which refuses to dwell upon such things refuses to be made to suffer by their consideration. The common type of mind is exceedingly keen on all matters which relate to its physical welfare, exceedingly keen. It is the unintellectual miser who sweats blood at the loss of a hundred dollars. It is the epictetus who smiles when the last vestige of physical welfare is removed. The time came, in the third year, when this thinking began to produce results in the Warren Street place. The tide of patronage dropped a little below what it had been, at its best, since he had been there. This irritated and worried him. There came a night when he confessed to Kerry that the business was not doing as well this month as it had the month before. This was in lieu of certain suggestions she had made concerning little things she wanted to buy. She had not failed to notice that he did not seem to consult her about buying clothes for himself. For the first time it struck her as a ruse, or that he said it so that she would not think of asking for things. Her reply was mild enough, but her thoughts were rebellious. He was not looking after her at all. She was depending for her enjoyment upon the vances. And now the latter announced that they were going away. It was approaching spring and they were going north. Oh, yes, said Mrs. Vance to Kerry. We think we might as well give up the flat and store our things. We'll be gone for the summer, and it would be a useless expense. I think we'll settle a little farther downtown when we come back. Kerry heard this with genuine sorrow. She had enjoyed Mrs. Vance's companionship so much, there was no one else in the house whom she knew. Again, she would be all alone. Hurstwood's gloom over the slight decrease in profits and the departure of the vances came together. So Kerry had loneliness and this mood of her husband to enjoy at the same time. It was a grievous thing. She became restless and dissatisfied, not exactly as she thought with Hurstwood, but with life. What was it? A very dull round indeed. What did she have? Nothing but this narrow little flat. The vances could travel and they could do the things worth doing, and here she was. For what was she made anyhow? More thought followed and then tears. Tears seemed justified in the only relief in the world. For another period the state continued, the twain leading a rather monotonous life, and then there was a slight change for the worse. One evening, Hurstwood, after thinking about a way to modify Kerry's desire for clothes and the general strain upon his ability to provide, said, I don't think I'll ever be able to do much with Shaughnessy. What's the matter? said Kerry. Oh, he's a slow, greedy mick. He won't agree to anything to improve the place, and it won't ever pay without it. Can't you make him? No, I've tried. The only thing I can see, if I want to improve, is to get hold of a place of my own. Why don't you? said Kerry. Well, all I have is tied up in there just now. If I had a chance to save a while, I think I could open a place that would give us plenty of money. Can't we save? said Kerry. We might try it, he suggested. I've been thinking that if we'd take a smaller flat downtown and live economically for a year, I would have enough with what I've invested to open a good place. Then we could arrange to live as you want to. It would suit me all right, said Kerry, who nevertheless felt badly to think it had come to this. Talk of a smaller flat sounded like poverty. There are lots of nice little flats down around Sixth Avenue, below 14th Street. We might get one down there. I'll look at them if you say so, said Kerry. I think I could break away from this fellow inside of a year, said Hurstwood. Nothing will ever come of this arrangement as it's going on now. I'll look around, said Kerry, observing that the proposed change seemed to be a serious thing with him. The upshot of this was that the change was eventually affected. Not without great gloom in the part of Kerry. It really affected her more seriously than anything that had yet happened. She began to look upon Hurstwood wholly as a man and not as a lover or husband. She felt thoroughly bound to him as a wife, and that her lot was cast with his, whatever it might be. But she began to see that he was gloomy and taciturn, not a young, strong and buoyant man. He looked a little bit old to her about the eyes and mouth now, and there were other things which placed him in his true rank so far as her estimation was concerned. She began to feel that she had made a mistake. Incidentally, she also began to recall the fact that he had practically forced her to flee with him. The new flat was located on 13th Street, a half block west of Sixth Avenue, and contained only four rooms. The new neighborhood did not appeal to Kerry as much. There were no trees here, no west view of the river. The street was solidly built up. There were twelve families here, respectable enough, but nothing like the vances. Richer people required more space. Being left alone in this little place, Kerry did without a girl. She made it charming enough, but could not make it delighter. Hurstwood was not inwardly pleased to think that they should have to modify their state, but he argued that he could do nothing. He must put the best face on it, and let it go at that. He tried to show Kerry that there was no cause for financial alarm, but only congratulation over the chance that he would have at the end of the year by taking her rather more frequently to the theater and by providing a liberal table. This was for the time only. He was getting in the frame of mind where he wanted principally to be alone and to be allowed to think. The disease of brooding was beginning to claim him as a victim. Only the newspapers and his own thoughts were worthwhile. The delight of love had again slipped away. It was case of live now, making the best you can out of a very common place, station, and life. The road downward has but few landings and level places. The very state of his mind, super-induced by his condition, caused the breach to widen between him and his partner. At last that individual began to wish that Hurstwood was out of it. It so happened, however, that a real estate deal on the part of the owner of the land arranged things even more effectually than ill-will could have schemed. Did you see that? said Shaughnessy one morning to Hurstwood, pointing to the real estate column in a copy of the Herald, which he held. No, what is it? said Hurstwood, looking down the item of news. The man who owns this ground has sold it. You don't say so, said Hurstwood. He looked, and there was the notice. Mr. August Veal had yesterday registered the transfer of the lot, twenty-five by seventy-five feet at the corner of Warren and Hudson Street to J. F. Slosson for the sum of fifty-seven thousand dollars. Our lease expires when? asked Hurstwood, thinking. Next February, isn't it? That's right, said Shaughnessy. It doesn't say what the new man's going to do with it, remarked Hurstwood, looking back to the paper. We'll hear, I guess, soon enough, said Shaughnessy. Sure enough, it did develop. Mr. Slosson owned the property adjoining and was going to put up a modern office building. The present one was to be torn down. It would take probably a year and a half to complete the other one. All these things developed by degrees, and Hurstwood began to ponder over what would become of the saloon. One day he spoke about it to his partner. Do you think it'd be worthwhile to open up somewhere else in the neighborhood? What would be the use? said Shaughnessy. We couldn't get another corner around here. It wouldn't pay anywhere else, do you think? I wouldn't try it, said the other. The approaching change now took on a most serious aspect to Mr. Hurstwood. Disillusion meant the loss of his thousand dollars, and he could not save another thousand in the time. He understood that Shaughnessy was merely tired of the arrangement, and would probably lease the new corner one completed alone. He began to worry about the necessity of a new connection, and to see impending serious financial straits unless something turned up. This left him in no mood to enjoy his flat, or carry, and consequently the depression invaded that quarter. Meanwhile, he took such time as he could to look about, but opportunities were not numerous. The more he had not the same impressive personality which he had when he first came to New York. Bad thoughts had put a shade into his eyes, which did not impress others favorably. Neither had he thirteen hundred dollars in hand to talk with. About a month later, finding that he had not made any progress, Shaughnessy reported definitely that Slosson would not extend the lease. I guess this thing's got to come to an end, he said, affecting an error of concern. Well, if it has, it has, answered Hurstwood grimly. He would not give the other a key to his opinions, whatever they were. He should not have the satisfaction. A day or two later he saw that he must say something to carry. You know, he said, I think I'm going to get the worst of my deal down here. How is that? asked Carry in astonishment. Well, the man who owns the ground has sold it, and the new owner won't release it to us. The business may come to an end. Can't you start somewhere else? There doesn't seem to be any place. Shaughnessy doesn't want to. Do you lose what you put in? Yes, said Hurstwood, whose face was a study. Oh, isn't that too bad? said Carry. It's a trick, said Hurstwood. That's all. They'll start another place there, all right. Carry looked at him and gathered from his hold demeanor what it meant. It was serious. Very serious. Do you think you can get something else? She ventured timidly. Hurstwood thought a while. It was all up with the bluff about money and investment. She could see now that he was broke. I don't know, he said solemnly. I can try. End of chapter 33.