 My method to orgasms, well if I was to masturbate pillows all the way and just getting on top and making sure that I get that clitoris stimulation, however if I'm with a partner I find that usually I have to be on top and that's when I get the best of the best. The best orgasm period that I've had was my then boyfriend. He was like laying down on the bed and I was sitting on him reverse cowgirl type if you will and so he was penetrating me from behind and he just like reached around and was like playing with my clit and it was totally unexpected and it really just did it for me and I just like squirted everywhere and we just kept going and it was great. By myself I find that nipple stimulation and clitoral stimulation is the best. I'll hump a pillow and that's always nice. With a partner I prefer someone who's going to get a little rough with me. I would like to lose a little bit of oxygen so choke me really really hard and that'll be an explosive experience. I orgasm from a large vibrator that can double as a back massage or anywhere massager and I put it on my clitoris and I usually stay in one position so I could feel a little bit of pain and then I would hold my breath and I would orgasm from that. I like to have clitoral orgasms when I'm with myself when it's just direct contact and this motion but I like to get creative. I also like shower heads or any hard surfaces like okay so I know so I like the bathtub ledge. I'll get a towel and I'll put it on so it's not like so hard and I'll just like straddle it and kind of just like go back and forth with that. Oh wow. Oh my god that was perfect. Oh hey there lovers and friends. 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I spoke to five different cis gender women about orgasm. Literally we talked for an hour I cut it down but that's how much we had to say but first thing is first we had to start at the beginning. What was your first orgasm? I was maybe around 10 maybe 10 or 12 or 11 one of those times and I was in a bathroom and you know the bottom part of the bathroom where the you filled the tub up I went underneath there and I mean I used to take the longest showers in the world. Water masturbation is such a really great way for women to understand the differences because I know exactly how you orgasm once you said the faucet yeah and I know people who need like I was a showerhead queen like just the singular stream or if you put me in like a hot tub alone that's going to the side. I had my first orgasm when I was like I was fairly young so I'm really relieved because it's 10 and 11 because I just remember being like I want to say maybe seven or so my dad would fill up the pool with a water hose and so I would just get the water hose and like it felt really nice like pouring water like while submerged in water and then I would put it on my clit and I would just be like wow this was really good and then I had no idea what it was but I just knew it felt really good so I told my sister who was two years older than me and I was like Ellie you really have to try this it feels so good um and she was she looked at me she goes that's not good don't do that and then I asked yes do just try it I was like you have to try it and then so like after that I was just like oh I guess I'm not supposed to do this sort of thing it's bad and um after that I didn't really masturbate or anything until I was like 18 and with tumblr I would watch like videos and just copy what they're doing and then I would just I reached climax that way it's kind of interesting to think like where we get this idea that masturbation is bad and self pleasure is bad for me I just like I grew up to say wait I grew up in like a christian household and it wasn't it's a sin to masturbate and that was like so much pent-up guilt from the age of like 11 up and I just like come to pillow that was that was my thing I just wanted to rub something yeah I don't have to get a specific type of pillow not just like yeah like a burnt pillow kind of small so that it was like I could fold it if I needed to it just had to be hard and just like yeah I don't know I just I couldn't do like the soft pillow that's crazy well my story I feel like it's like a bit of each of yours but definitely like started rubbing on stuffed animals when I was like nine ten inch like that age um nothing really came from it I would say for me um the very first time I masturbated I was about 11 12 I want to say I just researched like sexual pleasure like what is it called and then you looked at it I looked it up and um I actually grew up in the Philippines and I went to an international catholic school in the Philippines so that was like a no you know what I mean so yeah I had everything that I learned about sex was through experience and also you know from my big sister and your channel honestly were you did you do insertion did you do clitoral stimulation you know what it was um clitorial I think it's really impressive here is that we have five women who all came to orgasm on their own terms because I speak to so many women who they have a partner who's the first person to get in there that they don't ever touch explore so how do you think you found that permission yourself to say this is a part of me that I want to actually understand myself I think I've just always been curious about myself and like it really like blows my mind because I have friends who like don't masturbate at all they don't like how are you supposed to have sex with another person give yourself to another person if you don't even know that anything about yourself like some of my friends they don't even like look at their vaginas in a hand when they're like they have a shame of like they don't want to look at it it's scary they don't want to touch themselves it's scary and I think it's crazy to me because like you you should be like self love like an orgasm is the best thing you can give yourself so we cover the groups go to orgasm then we discuss their first so naturally I wanted to hear about their best I think my best my best one I was with my ex and he had me bent over a chair and there was a belt around my neck and he was holding the belt while he was behind me the combination of sex and pain together makes it just explosive for me but that was one of the really good ones wait I want to back out yes for me not for you but you said you said the belt I think too my explosive orgasm probably comes from when I should not be having sex in certain places I'm a little bit exhibitionist and I like to toe the line yeah see mine would be the opposite like I like to just be as loud as I fucking can and just like you know if we not have to worry about someone gonna fucking walk in I don't know like I just hate like being worried about my surroundings but my best orgasm recently was with my ex and my most recent ex and I was on top we were at his house and I don't know like he kept telling me hold it and I like that like I like that thought of resistance but like breaking the rule kind of in my head like no motherfucker I'm still gonna do it and then um yeah and then we ended up like coming at the same time so I think that was like one of my most beautiful experiences so I think like the mind is so power is like so much more powerful like sometimes putting yourself in a situation that won't like get you there or like the idea of something will like get you there but my most powerful orgasm was like when my ex at the time he um we were like doing it in his car and then he had like made me squirt and then like then started um penetrating me and like it was so powerful that I actually started crying I want to get to that like so intense that I was just like just like sobbing and like I think also the idea of him like talking dirty to me was like also like oh my god like in my head like oh my god this is so hot like it's gonna happen and it was just yeah what's an unexpected way that you have experienced pleasure that you were like that was fascinating I went I was going down on this girl I was pleasuring her you know her out and I came from that it was amazing and just out of like I didn't know that could happen and then it started happening more often or than um than not where I would be pleasure with somebody else and I would come from that I agree so yeah we kind of touched on it earlier but like nipple play it's something my ex boyfriend and I did like well you know he gave some attention to the titties every now and then but like this one time I don't know what the difference was but it just like did it for me and yeah same with me I was not expecting to do that I'm in the power play mode with you I like to like for me it turns me on when like I know it's just a good feeling when like you just hear that underneath your breath yeah I just loved the power thing of like I just made you feel like that yeah I'm sucking your dick and you just your soul belongs to me orgasm is defined as a climax of sexual excitement that is characterized by pleasure I personally describe it as a series of rapid contractions that result in involuntary bodily functions followed by a wave of euphoria now I've heard a lot of different definitions and I've heard a lot of different ways people can get to that so-called wave of euphoria and so I asked the group what are some unique ways that they have found themselves in orgasmic bliss orgasm with anal oh wait yeah I don't want to try it I've never tried anal okay so it was when you first started when you first do it I used a lot of coconut oil I prepared well I didn't do I didn't do the little whole thing that people do but nothing happened nothing happened afterwards but I did use a lot of coconut oil thing was still painful but what helped was my partner would like say breathe relax and then before I knew what it was in and I've done it like a couple three times both times I had to get like talked into it but yeah I was able to say huh okay so when you when you do anal you have to clean everything out so you use yeah you can use like a douche in those things douchees in a month and you just squeeze it in there or if you're doing like fist dinner stuff you want to get in there with a hose because it goes further but if you're doing like a regular anal animal it's fine but yeah it's it was amazing like the anal plus the clitoria stimulation or like internal girl yeah I heard about like you stick a butt plug up there and then like someone's fucking you like that's supposed to be just a prime orgasm it didn't do anything for me I did that before but the anal with the combination of you know tutorials have you tried meats no I have I hope with the butt plugs though yeah beats it beats incredible because it's the con it's the pulling yeah um orgasm from just nipple play alone so I had my nipples pierced for a really long time and then I unpierced them but they stayed stimulated like just stayed extra sensitive so now they're just like all the time just I can put a bra on be like orgasm while you sleep like oh yeah I've been waking up back yeah and then you know when you go to the bathroom like right when you wake up I'm just like what the and then I try to remember my dreams of multiple orgasms yeah are you guys preferred I can multiply orgasm it's never my preference I just prefer my one because my second is just a little bit uncomfortable a little bit sensitive so I think it's because it's clitorious so clitorious like if you come from a clitorious stimulation if you try that again it's very uncomfortable but if you come from pen it being penetrated you could have multiple because I've had eight orgasm one time I was with my ex-girlfriend at the time and I could have kept going but she was tired okay so clarification squirting orgasming like is that the same thing or like is it two different things it can be it's a type of orgasm yeah but it's not because I definitely know people who can squirt independently of sexual pleasure yeah independently of an orgasm it's just like something that they can do okay so some people it is linked directly some people doesn't happen at all I mean that's just interesting to me because you said like after your second one like you're done like I've had instances where it's like no I need like my seventh one and then I'm done so I didn't even like that's just interesting to me is that from clitorious yeah I think it's a thing too of women like we have this special pressure around like the how and the when and the where and like what happens after your orgasm where it's just like you did it yeah you know like I put a dude we're not like was it this kind of was it just squirting or just extra double boulder did you have sex or was it just like are you a hard pleasure and you liked it like my job is done yeah I feel like guys like more squirting orgasms because it's like a visual representation like oh yeah I did that yeah like and I know oftentimes I've had multiple guys that like really can't even tell if I've orgasmed or not because me um a squirting orgasm versus like clitoral orgasm or penetrative orgasm like they're all different um but I don't really like squirting orgasms it's like messy and I'm like trying to sleep in the bed and like you know I don't really want to deal with that and so but when a guy figures out that I can squirt they'll like that's what they want you know that one credit card company that asks what's in your wallet well I want to coin the phrase what's in your box not like your genital box I meant your sex toy box what toys what tools what's below the bed tucked down there behind that one pillow let me know what's in that so I have this 18 inch like double sided dildo I haven't used it on anyone yet but I just bought it it's like pink it's so super cute I have a lot of butt plugs I have a tail it's a butt plug connected with a fox tail so cute I got chokers nipple clamps um whips belts I feel like um I'll probably get at least one toy now that I'm newly single and like had that taste and I need my fix you know I have one toy that I've had since I was like 18 and it's it hasn't failed me so I'm like but I'd be down to like oh and I also have a butt plug and um I've gotten creative with like household items but um other than that I've just had that one toy because when I masturbate I generally like to just do cultural orgasms I haven't tried any toys actually so I do it I use my toys even with partners like I yeah there's a big link between the spec that there's a disproportion amount of women who don't orgasm regularly during sex and then women who aren't coming prepared to have the kind of sex that they want it's like a toy is almost like your failsafe opportunity to say like this is what's going to work why do you think that there is some stigma around women using toys well during sex it's like the guy can't get it done or at least that's supposed to be the feeling which it shouldn't be you should be able to take that toy and be like no I'm gonna make you feel this way with me and the toy but it's not always like that there's like that disconnect if I can't make you come I'm not a man if I can't make you come then like I didn't do my job right as a partner you can't really talk about physical pleasure without discussing the mental so I asked the women how much what up here played a role in what happens down there how important is the mental in your ability to orgasm very important is it 80 is it 50 100 percent I'm like this is what we're doing right now this is all we're doing then we can do whatever else we need to do yeah the goal is to squirt um whatever like that's all like all in yeah mine wasn't before it wasn't that important my mental because I was I never had a problem with orgasm and it was since I was little but like recently now now it's like mental is 100 you know I need that mental connection or that mental to orgasm or two well that's what you know that's what you might right yeah I mean it's kind of a mix of both I mean I think it's some people refer to mental as like being present in the moment yeah not having shame associated with it or just being relaxed but I also find it to be a tool of shame for women or of discouraging how they experience pleasure I've talked to so many women who are like men have said to them well it's because you're not letting go that's why you can't get there as opposed to acknowledging that some people just don't like that shit yeah do you guys think like since we're talking about mental do you guys think like certain expectations we have like let's say it's our first time you know sleeping with this partner like we build certain expectations in our heads do you think that kind of like um disappoint us at some point I think what ruins my expectations oftentimes is like sexting that person prior to like having intercourse with them like he's like oh I'm gonna eat you for hours and like I'm gonna do this and this and this and when it gets down to it he just like puts it straight in it's like super upsetting but um I think that like it's more fun when you just like have those expectations for yourself like when you're just like oh I know I'm gonna be good at this yeah I'm just gonna focus on like myself my own energy with this person and like kind of like helps I think a big mental thing that I used to have is my own internal clock of like I'm taking too long so I was able to feel the guilt that I'm taking too long or they're not getting what they want fast enough and so I would speed up the things that I enjoy to try to like get to what they like once I stopped doing that things got better so a lot of it was the own guilt I was putting on myself yeah I had a partner who would literally tell me like did you come yet or he said oh my hand's getting tired I was just like you just put so much pressure on me to orgasm rather than just enjoying the experience of like making something pleasurable for a person and I think that's just like that kind of like completely turns me off from like that mindset of like having to orgasm and again with with the mindset like I I when I masturbate I tend to like go back and forth from like using porn and just using my imagination because sometimes like if I'm just like focusing on orgasming myself without watching porn or anything it makes it a lot easier to orgasm okay this is like taboo people are gonna see this hello but I like to watch let's be sorry directs canada came out with a stat that said that only 26 percent of women in heterosexual relationships achieve orgasm regularly but after watching this video it might seem like people are just orgasming every single time the wind blows and of course that couldn't be further from the truth for a lot of people many people that I've spoken to have a very difficult time achieving orgasm with a partner and even sometimes alone so I wanted to ask this group who seems to know something really special that a lot of us yet haven't found for ourselves what advice they would give to someone who's having a difficult time clearing their own path to pleasurable bliss I would say get to know your body first before you give that power to someone else because you know it's so important to know what we like and then um be comfortable enough to tell our partner partners like what works for us and what doesn't and you know same thing with them like if ever you have a partner ask them what they like like as well and research everything like I research everything so yeah so I would say that orgasm is in the entire goal you know when you with your partner just being with them enjoying whatever it is you guys are doing should be the main focus because not everyone will orgasm you could try years I have a friend that she's almost 30 and she's never orgasmed you know but she enjoys sex she enjoys being with her partner you know that's not always the goal and they may not never happen for you but doesn't mean there's nothing wrong with you it just may mean that's just not what your body could do at that time and it feels good regardless if you're coming or not I think that um just keep learning about yourself and like you know keep educating yourself like you said sometimes I've been I would watch like videos that I even think I would be into that and I it helps arouse me and like just keep exploring and educating and learning more about what you like I mean I've actually had an orgasm from a psychic class that I did which like I had no I wasn't even trying and that happened so just like just be aware and like not to stop putting so much pressure I say let it happen so I have a friend who she would get to like right at the edge of orgasm me and it would just be such an intense feeling she didn't want it anymore so she would stop so if you feel that just go with it it's it's it's supposed to be kind of an intense feeling it's going to be an intense feeling but it's not going to be an intensely bad feeling necessarily unless you know you've got a little bit of trauma and other things factors that go into that but just let yourself experience that don't try to stop it don't try and to control it yeah don't try to control it you have to let go of that control that's a lot that's pretty scary for a lot of people one more thing if you're blindfolded and with earplugs you can't see or hear what you're doing and that would take away all the stress just saying and that is the end of the video I want to say a big shout out to the women who took part those who want to include their socials you can find them in the info box below and while we're talking about what's down there I got a shout out our sponsor one more time lovers please go and check out their store specifically the private label which is incredible chic and really really fun and surprising but all in all you can go down there to find your needs to whatever your specific sexual fantasies or desires are they probably have the tool that is best priced and best suited for you in the info box I want to continue this discussion of course please let me know what is your go-to way to orgasm and if you didn't hear in this video more reason to write it down below but also I would love to know what's surprising sex toy recommendation would you make that has really done wonders for you