 Well, hello and welcome to understand men now. I'm Jonathan assay of Jonathan assay calm And I'm so excited to be shooting this short video for you today our topic the three most common male Insecurities now before we get started if this resonates with you and you feel like you'd like a personal touch in other words You'd like some help Understanding the male behavior male perspective that sort of thing check out the link below to schedule a one-on-one call with me Okay, let's just jump right in those three Right three That's six. We'll make it three our most common male insecurities You know, I'm laughing about this but I can tell you that this scares the heck out of me sharing this with you personally because This is actually me being vulnerable because I actually experience what exactly I'm sharing So what I'm about to say is very common not all men share this insecurity all men share these insecurities But the vast majority of men have insecurities and it's all centered around feeling rejected Okay, feeling rejected feeling unwanted feeling unloved that sort of thing. In fact most human beings greatest fear is I'm not good enough I'm not likeable. I'm not lovable at some deep core. This happens In fact dating Triggers the number one emotional health issue which centers around not loving oneself This is a very common thing. In fact, it's one of the reasons why I wrote the book what the heck is self-love anyway As a way to be a vaccination to the emotional chaos of not feeling good enough not feeling likable not feeling lovable So men as well as women have these insecurities and these fears But I'm going to go deeper into the specifics those three things that are the predominant ones men fear When it comes to romantic Relationships, okay, we're specifically talking about romantic relationships and the first one Happens to be in the bedroom Many men have an insecurity of whether or not we're going to perform well for you And this is especially true for men at midlife because the vast majority of men in midlife are taking the little blue pill And we have this fear of not having you know getting a hard on not having erection having you know Being able to please our woman Okay, now a lot of men are very myopic in other words, they're centered on getting themselves off But there's a part of that reason is by being only focused on oneself It's actually, you know, it's the subconscious being you know blocking That fear of not being able to perform for our partner. So a lot of men might appear selfish It's because the subconscious is suppressing this absolute fear that we may not be able to please our partner that we may not be good in bed that our Penis isn't large enough isn't strong enough. It isn't hard enough that sort of thing doesn't last enough Premature ejaculation all those things Men have these fears just like women have their own fears when it comes to sex and performance and everything else So this is a very common thing and many many many men experience this, okay All right, the second one is Centers around being a provider protector Now I want to draw attention to an absolute fact and that is The vast majority of people here in the united states and this is probably true around the world But in here in the united states 80 of the population lives paycheck to paycheck And this is especially even scary right now during a time where there's a I mean If you're watching this video during the time of the quarantine And there's significant job loss and everything else centered around what's happening in the world right now And then going back to 80 of people that paycheck to paycheck that that really triggers our Fear around can we be a provider protector? Can we be someone that that biological aspect of being a provider protector? And for a lot of men they experience shame when they're in when they're unable to be that to a partner This is one of the reasons why dating is such a complicated thing. I mean the reality is is it's expensive to date It's expensive to go through this proposition And I know a lot of you women have been conditioned that men are Chivalrous and they take the lead and you know, they pay for dates and all that sort of thing But a lot of guys are feeling fear that they have a hard enough time supporting themselves And then are they going to even be capable of supporting you? That's why a lot of men act wishy-washy and inconsistent not because they don't care about you It's because deep down we have a fear of whether or not we're going to be able to provide and protect because a lot of people aren't approaching the process as teamwork As teamwork or are we a team in this process of getting to know one another Instead of resting it all on the man's shoulders and men have there are a lot of men that have fears around this I know I personally do and I've talked to many men. I've been in so many men's groups I'm in a men's group of over 15,000 men. We've had these discussions over and over and this is a common thread Although this is more the subconscious is centered around the provider protector But this really starts to percolate because what's really going on inside of many men Is we feel shame that we're not able to do that That's one of the reasons why men could be hot and cold hot and cold hot and cold Okay, because there's a lot of fear and insecurity going on the third one Centers around body image You know, um, especially men in midlife. They're losing their hair. I mean, I'm blessed mom and dad. Thank you. Thank you They that's my mom and dad right there When they were much younger than me the thank you gave me a full head of hair I happen to be six foot two, but so many I'm I'm blessed. I'm in that two percentile Of men, but the average man is less than five foot ten You know it's five nine and a half is the average height as they age They start to ball they start to put on weight and there's a fear that we're going to be rejected based on our body And this isn't true of all men certainly men that are you know in that major category or they've built up their self confidence But the average guy has fears centered around body and it's just like a lot of you ladies do this is by the way This is so hugely common for ladies because women have been objectified so much through Advertising and through media and such and men on to some level because of Calvin Klein commercials and that sort of thing Have been objectified as well So a lot of men have fears of rejection sent around their body as well and You know with all three of these you know we're we're human beings We're riddled with insecurities and flaws and a lot of people fake it on the outside and look like they got their shit together But inside they're scared to death that they're going to be rejected This is why I'm such a huge proponent for compassion in the dating process and have compassion for guys and recognize that Most men are good guys. They're just bad daters and most of the time they're not trying to hurt you or do anything It's their fears are coming up that cause them to run away or do stupid things I mean, I've seen I know myself I've done so many stupid things because I want to grow the like me that I stick my foot in my mouth a hundred times And then I never get a second date because of it and I and I know this yet You know and by the way, I'm being a little tongue-in-cheek here, but I'm speaking for all men not just Jonathan Asley here All right. I just shared those three common insecurities I hope you found value in this. I'd like to I hope this resonates with you if it does please post a comment below I'd like to have your Share your thoughts. Tell me what you think if there's something you want to add Please post a comment below if you're brand new to my youtube channel Click the wherever the button is on which other side to subscribe and please tell your friends about my youtube channel I'm excited to shoot these videos for you and I'm and I'm happy to do any content You like just please please post a comment. Tell me what you'd like to talk about Okay, I'm going to sign off this video as I always do giving you a big gigantic job to bear hug if I have your consent Oh, thank you Wishing you a wonderful day. Thanks so much. Bye. Bye now