 Oh, what's going on you lot? Welcome back with another video. I'm Lydia, I'm 22, I make mental health videos here in Europe. Today's video, what going to my first ever psychiatrist appointment was like. To anyone who isn't new to my channel, I have been experiencing mental health issues since I was around 12 years old, which you know, is a considerable amount of time. So yeah, today is about my first ever psychiatrist appointment. My first psychiatrist appointment occurred when I was around 13 years old. I was diagnosed with anxiety and bipolar disorder. A two-day analysis that I still have to this day, this video, is to share how I felt when supporting what happened in the appointment. When you first go to see a psychiatrist, I know I'm not alone when I say this. Everyone always thinks it's going to mean you're going to get hospitalised or sectioned or forced into hospital. And before we even start, I want to just say that that's not how this works. That is not how the mental health system works at all. I was literally like, oh my God, I'm going to end up in hospital. I was terrified, I didn't want to go. I rearranged it twice. I was petrified. But I was also experiencing a lot. Now, I've been through lots of kid, and I have spoke with this briefly, but my childhood is not something I talk about very often because it isn't. I was 13-ish when I went to CAMHS, with children analysis and mental health services. And if you are interested in hearing more about CAMHS, I do have a separate video on that also. I wish I would link up there. My first psychiatrist appointment. How did it happen? Where did it come from? I had been taking the aiming on a few occasions, experiencing psychosis along with panic attacks which led to seizures. And recently that was linked to me being stressed and is also part of the PTSD experience, which is a whole video in itself. I remember getting the letter when I was, well, fearful. I was afraid. I didn't know much about mental health services. All I knew is what I'd seen in documentaries and the documentaries I'd watched. What about kids on inpatient wards and health? Is it something I'm passionate about and both live and live with? I went to my first appointment. It was in school, and it was kind of an odd feeling. So I walked into this school that I didn't go to. And I had to turn left to the NHS. And then CAMHS, where it was underneath a school. And yeah, it wasn't... It was a very odd placement. So I checked in. I went and sat in the chair. And I saw parents with their kids. And I said this a lot. My mom hasn't stood by me in my mental health. She's never given a monkey, to be honest. When I ended up sectioned, she was like, well, you let me do it in hospital. You know, she's gonna kill yourself. You'd have done it. My first psychiatrist appointment ended with me being prescribed lithium on a very low dose. Because, like I said, I was very young. I started on that, and I did not react well to it. I got very dehydrated, no matter how much I drank. I just ended up dehydrated, and I'm not taking off that very quickly. Literally a few weeks after that, it actually did end up getting hospitalised. But I did try. It didn't respond well to me. It made me really dehydrated, and I just can't take it. When I was in hospital after that, I was starting on defecate. Which I did mention in my Bohola story. And again, like, blah blah blah. Disappointment was so draining. My anxiety was horrific. Like, I was literally rocking backwards and forwards in the entire appointment. I got the gossip. So, I found that I was just gonna come later, I was looking for. So, this was the letter that put me in referral to the first consultant. And this was from my Cams practitioner, apparently. Pretty sure that she was a support worker. I become quite concerned about Lydia because she has become increasingly paranoid. Lydia was able to identify that she was more paranoid when home alone which she stated has triggered panic attacks on several occasions. Lydia discussed that she finds it hard to cope with these thoughts. Lydia stated that this has decreased. The amount of sleep she has had due to her persistent thoughts or something will happen to her. She's also been advised that should these thoughts occur on another occasion, she is to let somebody who can help her. Previously, myself and Lydia had had conversations about her weight loss. Previously, Lydia had denied avoiding food. However, in this appointment, she said that she was struggling and had been looking for new ways to avoid food online. In August, Lydia was started on a meal plan to try and increase her weight. However, Lydia admitted that she had not repaid back to the documents in. Lydia has allowed us to keep rapid of her weight from 21st September. Lydia had begun to increase the amount of food which she was consuming in this appointment mostly that she had stopped eating due to how she was feeling about these... At the end of the appointment, Lydia's weight was checked due to the decrease in appetite. Lydia is currently 18. 76% below the ideal healthy weight. Well, the damn. That let out is what led to the consultant becoming involved. And the consultant, like I said earlier, saw me on a number of occasions and eventually diagnosed me. So, the first method that he started me on was lithium. Didn't go great. I'm not going to get into that. But in the first appointment, it was, like, full on anxiety. Like, full on. There was no hiding from it. It was there, and I wasn't getting away from it anytime soon. It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. And that's what I want the message in this to be. Yes, it's always going to be scary going to appointments for the first high-end, second high-end, or even after you've been under services for five years because you never know what's going to get thrown in. But I do want to throw that out there. Like, it is very highly unlikely that you're going to walk into your first psychiatrist appointment and get second. Like, that's not really how mental health services work. Unless you are literally going to go home and kill yourself. All in all, I think calms gets a lot of bad press. And it's not unfounded. I don't know any people who have good experiences. And the first time rising calms, I didn't have a good experience. The second time round, honestly, was a waste of a year. But at the end of the day, it might be a shit service, but I'm still alive. So I guess that you are walking into the unknown and that in itself is something that a lot of people fear. I'm definitely also in that category. I don't like not knowing what's going on. Which is why when I'm in hospital, I like knowing absolutely everything that is going on. But yeah. My overall message in this is if you get a pair of calms or any other service go to the appointment, see what they have to say. It is not going to be the end of the world. And it's okay to feel anxious about things. Anyway, it feels really weird filming a video because I've literally not filmed for over a week. So apparently talking to a camera can become complex when you haven't spoken to one for a bit. I did try to the other day, but this is how it turned out. So, we filmed today. Anyway, I'm going to go because I don't know what time it is but I don't want to sit and record for much longer because my camera is also flashing red. Thank you for watching and don't forget to check out my little Etsy store. If you want to support the channel a little bit, I also have a Patreon and a PayPal. You don't have to use it. My Amazon wish this is also down below because why not? Subscribe! Normally upload daily. I've just been on a bit of a break. That's that. Bye, guys!