 What's up everybody? Welcome back to another Ullumalani video. So for today we're gonna be playing Alice Maddisher Turns. And if you guys saw by the title, we're gonna be playing the Card Castles in the sky level, which is so beautiful, so beautiful. You'll see in a bit, you'll see in a bit. But before we get into that, we have to get into the Alice Maddisher Turns depressing news. I don't know if you guys saw it, but American McGee tweeted out that EA will not be making another Alice game because it's not profitable enough, but they will also not be giving up the rights because it's too profitable to let go. Which is just so fucking cringe. Are you fucking kidding me? EA, if you're watching this, I have such a fucking vitriol for you now. I already didn't like you, but now that you've done this, me and you gotta throw some hands. Mr. EA himself, we gotta fucking throw hands. It actually genuinely makes me so angry, but like there's very little I could do about it as a person who just like has no money and can't fund my own game, so. So for now, I'm just gonna be talking about it on my little YouTubes and then just read the design Bible and cry, I guess. I don't know. Morning for that game, I guess we'll play the card castles in the sky level. I'm gonna finish this game and it's gonna be great and we can all hold hands around like a candle thing or something in remembrance for Alice Asylum. But without further ado, we're gonna go ahead and get started and let's just go ahead and enjoy this card level. Coin toss is up. Do you think the game is gonna crash before we get in? Let's find out. On this episode of will Alice manage returns crash before we get to play the game? The answer is yes. Gotta love that. Okay, second time's a charm. I almost feel as if I'm not allowed to play Alice until it crashes at least once. Like I feel like that's just a requirement for the game now. Oh my God, it started me in this level. I was expecting the card level to begin. I'm not even gonna lie, this kind of scared me a little bit. Okay, speed run, we gotta get to the card level. Sick, so sick. Listen to this music. Anyway, God, just, I mean, look at how beautiful this is. Memory, we got a memory already. Oh wow, this is happening so quickly. Oh God. Okay, I gotta say that mechanic of the card level does kind of scare the shit out of me because you never know if a card's gonna get in front of you when you need it or not. And like what if the game glitches out and like doesn't give you a card it's supposed to? Like that's totally plausible in this fucking game. Landed stone in his heart. Trifling with his affections. Creepy sword. Touching me. Don't depart and never invite him to tea again. Ew. So sad that incels exist in the Alice in the universe as well. Gosh, look at how fucking, oh my God. Oh my God. So apparently this game was made in like, ooh, is that a slide? It is. Sick. Where are we supposed to go? Oh right there, okay. Yeah, so apparently this game was made in like Unreal engines which is not known for like how creative and colorful this shit is. But I also thought I would mention that my boyfriend has been learning Unreal engines which I think is really fucking sick because I look at it and I'm like, that was made into Alice. Like that is so fucking cool. Get over here, God damn it. Oh my God, I thought I was gonna miss it. Why did it just, oh? Okay. Well, I guess this is a whole new place. I used to listen to this music on repeat so often while I was doing my homework in high school. It's just so peaceful. Like it's so perfect. Where are we? Oh, the transition in this is so weird. Light, light is useless if what it illuminates causes pain and suffering. Better to cast such things into the dark depths of Lithea, the river of forgetfulness. See, his quotes are starting to get a lot more fucking sus. Like so much more fucking sus. So what the fuck does that even mean? Light is useless if it illuminates things that are bad. Shut up, bro. Who do you think you are? My fucker thinks he's confucius or some shit. Oh God, I don't remember how to do this. So there's this one over here and then there's another one over here. Do I have to just press it and get that thing to open and then, yes, yes, yes. Okay, we gotta go, we gotta go, gotta go, gotta go, gotta go, gotta go, gotta go. Nope, something about this seems wrong. It's a fucking invisible platform. Oh my God, that's so cringe. That's so fucking cringe. Cause it only works on the initial press. So, okay, that doesn't do anything. Yeah, look it, cause that just stays. Oh, it keeps that platform down. Okay, okay, yeah. So we do need the bomb. We're gonna go ahead, place this here. Run, run, run, run, run. Gotta focus, gotta focus, gotta focus, gotta focus. Take the shortest route possible. Oh God, this isn't gonna be, oh God. We're not even gonna worry about whatever the fuck is over there. Oh, oh, sorry, I think that was loud. But we made that, cheers. I remember the first time I played that, I could not fuck it, like I tried that mofucker like five times and I could not get that. You guys hear that? That kind of sounded like a muted fart. Oh, oh my God, that scared me. Okay, that one sounded normal. See, that's what that's supposed to sound like. Oh my God, I almost did not make that. Oh Jesus, that scared the shit out of me. Oh, oh, it controls this. It controls a whole structure over there. That's so frightening, but I gotta admit that's some pretty good, not good, but it's crazy game mechanics. That was fine. You know, for all the shit that I give this game, and for his, oh my God, that scared me. That's like the third time I've said that in this level. It just, it keeps juking me. But for all the shit that I give this game and how creepy it is, it really is my comfort game. And like I was genuinely excited to play this game for this video today, because it's just so much fun. That also sounded like a wet fart, but yeah, I love this game so much. It's my peace and also my stress. I don't wanna leave though. Once I jump on this, I'm gonna leave. I don't remember. I'm pretty sure though, I don't know. This is such a short level and it's like so sad because the longest, like middle levels are the suckiest ones. Like they're so ugly and unpleasant to look at. And this one just makes me, makes me wanna cry. Look at how beautiful this is. I just, I could live here. Can you imagine living here? Oh my God. Anyways, CRB. But it's so much creepier than the card level. I just hate how we went from peace to this. Oh my God. You can hear that the peaceful music is gone now. I feel like I've just lost a loved one. Oh well, at least it makes up for it in a slide level. God, the ambience. It's so quiet and creepy. I think it's supposed to be though, because in the last game, we left this kind of land kind of decrepit because, well, spoiler alert, but we killed the queen. Or at least I thought we did. I, wait, look at that dude. Look at, ah. To admire your handiwork, returning to the scene of the crime. It had to be done, Cat. You said so yourself. You and this red queen cannot both survive. She is a cancer in your body. Exize her or perish. God is ass. Now, she was the face of evil in the heart of darkness. She didn't treat you too well last time. Lost your head as I recall. She was completely deranged. You picked up her crown, but now you've put it down. You must speak to her. What's left of her anyway? So good. I love how it draws off the last game and acknowledges it. I mean, it has to, I guess, but I've never played this game with headphones on. I'm hearing all kinds of things I never wanted to hear. Is she gonna talk to me like that the whole fucking game? God, playing this game with headphones on is a whole new experience. It's actually so creepy. And the whispering in the background, ah, just kill me, dude. I mean, like, don't, because I have to play the level, but just kill me. My nerves are already so high. Normally, that would just scare me, but damn. That was easy, but I gotta say, this is an effective vibe change from the card levels in the sky. Like, just get you used to peace and then just fucking destroy it all right after. I do support the monarchy, in principle. I'm sure the queen is very good at what she does, at whatever that is. But is she not a person just like ourselves? Oh, hey, Ragellarum. Here's a tiny brain teaser for a tiny well. What comes next in the sequence? One, three, four, seven, 11. Oh, oh, that's a good question. Oh, God, I don't remember. I could easily lose this one. See, I love these really chill brain teaser ones, but they're a little hard for my little baby brain. Crease it by two, three one, three, one, three. No, that's not true. Shit, what? Oh my God. Do I have to look this one up? I'm gonna be really fucking upset with myself if I have to look this up and it's so fucking easy. Is it 17? God, I know you guys are gonna watch this and be like, this is so obvious, but I don't know it. I feel like this is one of the ones I figured out too when I first played Alice. Like, I figured it out and I knew what it was, but I gotta be honest, the older I get, the stupider I get. I'm looking this up, I'm so sorry. Feels bad, man, feels bad. The answer's 18. Why is it 18 though? Like, I'm gonna choose it, why is it 18? That's something the wiki doesn't explain. Why is it 18? Do I need to understand it though? Like, do I really need to understand it? You know what? Fuck it. You're correct, miss. Thank you, the wiki was correct actually. I'm just gonna take my L and keep going. What is all this groaning? Stop twitching. Ah, shit, fuck. Oh my God, there's so many of these fuckers. Can I just one-shot them with this? I think I can. This game does get much creepier as it goes on. Like, this level's fucking creepy. The next one I think is creepier. This looks like a trap. Ew, is that the queen? Oh, it's the old white queen or some bullshit. That's so horrifying. Oh, continue, continue. Get outta here, my upgrade. Just the teapot cannon, so no. The Red Kingdom's in ruins, but you're no better off. When you defeated her, I tried to reclaim the castle, and I was set upon by her monstrosities, the Malignan's royal bitch still reigns. I'm here to petition her. I must get inside. The only way in is through me. Sacrifices must be made. Those who say so usually mean they should be made by others. Cynicism is a disease. It can be cured. Once inside, beware of the outsized killer who patrols her domain. Never confront him. He is invincible. Now, cut me loose. I'll show you the meaning of sacrifice. I'm not ready for her little guard, the one that's invincible. And also that was kind of just a baller thing he said, because like, I have to kill him to get through. Ah, oh, look at his face. Oh, fuck you, game. Damn. That's what she used to look like in the old game. Although I feel like if you're watching me play Alice Madness Returns, you probably know all of this. But if you don't, that's how she used to look in the old game. Very creepy, but also, hear me out. Hear me out. Every picture tells a story. Who'd tolerate a book without pictures when you were a girl? No fair skin, no heart, no deer, and no taxidermic abominations in the house, demeans the creature's dignity. Aw, I don't know what that means in the context of what we're playing right now, but real rad of you, Dad. Real cool. What the fuck was that noise? What the fuck was that noise, man? I thought I was ready for this because I played this game so much, but every single time I get to this level, my nerves are just like, if I were to wear, I have a Fitbit. If I wear my Fitbit right now, I feel like it's gonna say many heart rates. Let me go get it, actually. Let me go get my heart rate reader. Okay, let's see what it is. Let's see what it is. Oh, oh, it was kind of steadily climbing for a second there, but we're actually at like 75. It's not that bad. It's not that bad. I just thought it was that bad, but it's not that bad. Oh my God. It fuck you, girl. Damn. 73, 73, BPM. I'm terrified. I know what's coming. That's the fucking problem. I know too much about this fucking level. I mean, I suppose that's a good thing because I know when the bad things are coming, but God, this is a rough level. Shut up. Shut up. Shut your fucking horn mouth. You shut up too, whoever you are. Dude, they just respawn so fast. That's the worst part about these motherfuckers. No, no, no, no. No. That speech permitted. I don't want to press play. I don't want to press play. I don't like him. Oh my God. Oh, my God. Okay. Okay. Oh my God. Do I have to stop again? I don't like it when you turn my volume down or something. Okay. Oh my God. Oh my God. Let me go. Let me go. Oh, that was wimpy. That was wimpy. You're a little bitch boy. You're a little bitch boy and I'm just gonna run. Oh my God. Where are we going? Where are we going? Oh my God. He's gonna get by us. Don't you have a better chance with his wind nails and without risk of decapitation. A prudent exit is no less so for being hasty. Oh God. Oh, oh, stop it. Where do I go? I've been a close spot. Run, run, run, run, run. Oh my God. No, that's not the end of it. Run. Oh my God. Oh my God. I wish he didn't exist. I wish he didn't. He's so fast. He's so fast I wanna die. Oh my God. Oh, he takes so much health. Oh my God. Oh my God. I'm all my trembling to while I shit right now, dude. I can't do this. I can't. Oh, come on, let's go get a memory. We'll just pretend he doesn't exist. Card guard is not real. Card guard cannot hurt me. So trying to say he's bad at his job? I don't know. I don't know, dude. I'm too scared to think right now. The queen's guardian rarely leaves his big door special. Fantastic, fantastic. I'm so happy he left for me. I'm so happy I'm so special. That was a joke. I'm not, I'm not happy I'm special. Whose music's very pretty? Why? Why? I hate this so fast. It's so fast, so fast. Too quick. Too quick, I don't like him. Oh, thank God. He just, he just banished me. It's okay. Everything is gonna be all right. Everything is gonna be dajobu, fuck! Run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, I don't have the help for this guy. He's gonna come through as soon as I'm done fucking all these guys up, isn't he? My nerves are so high right now. Oh my God, I'm subjecting myself to horrors beyond my comprehension. I have to fight them all. I have to fight them all. Oh my God. Stop it. Take a swing at one of your guys, please, for me. I'm begging you. I need these roses. Let me run through. Just let me go. Let me go. Let me go. Teeth, let me go. Okay. I'm glad. I didn't have to kill everybody before I left that fight and that makes me so happy. The rest of this level does not bring me joy, though. I'd love to listen to you about that Marie Kondo, but I just have to finish this, unfortunately. I think I have enough to upgrade my weapon now. Let's see. Yes, I do. Okay. Let's go ahead. We are going to update the hobby horse. Hobby horse has been coming in for me clutch. Hey, it's final level. Okay. So now all that's left is the Vorpal Blade and two levels of the teapot cannon. So I think we got this. Ooh, is she so fast now? I don't like that simple. Balance is the golden mean of all things, Alice, between light and dark, between disease and health, or even between wrong and right. Thank God. Nice, peaceful puzzle level. My nerves are calm for now. Oh, I have to get each other to the next one, right? I think I won that. Oh, there's multiple. Nice, success. Oh, I love the little noise. Now don't let me out. I'll do this for the rest of my life as long as I don't have to face that motherfucker. What's happening here? God, I think if I were Alice and I heard these noises in real life, I would have just shot my pants instead. Nope. Nope, I will not be going that way. What's over here? A memory. Beautiful. Thank you. One is little more than a cage, a prison by another name. I despise concealment of any kind. She did not lock her door, but they couldn't get in because the door was locked. Her parents couldn't get in while the fire was happening because her door was locked. Why would her door be locked? I don't want to come here. I'm pretty sure this is another little Renny level. Okay, let's just do it. X games mode. X games mode. X games mode. Oh my God. Stop. At least let me get a little bit of a head start, dude. I despise this. I despise this. He gets a little hit on me before I go and then I just lose a lot of health. What do you have to say about this? Look for the queen, but remember, she also has eyes for you. Okay, noted. So apparently this is an Easter egg from another game. I don't know what game that is. I just know it's an Easter egg. Born in the long century, I was netting away at deserving every role from the guilty. Oh, those were good days. She's so weird. There's a little death symbol painted on the floor over here. What's happening here? Okay, maybe it's just regular monsters. Armored card guard. Okay, yeah. Not too bad. Not the worst. I should have upgraded my fucking T-Fot cannon. This is actually, I guess it's useful for these guys. As long as I don't get a lot of those, they're easy, but once I get a lot of them, shit's a nightmare. Gotta get this, gotta get this. Ah, shit. Quick switching between these weapons is a little difficult. Not too bad though. Not too bad. This is a library. How cool. What a lovely little decrepit library. I wonder what the castle looked like when it was like new and pretty and not creepy. Or like all of these levels for that matter actually. What did they look like before they were scary? God, massive fucking platforming on this level. Perfect guest does not overstate. A perfect guest stays home. She's so real for that. That's how I feel about customers. Lovely service, beautiful music, closed caskets. Although I'm told your sister could have shown to advantage, the flames never got to her. She died from smoke inhalation or so they say. Damn, bruh, that means my parents got charred. That's actually so fucking sad. That's horrible. That's like so horrible. Oh, oh, excuse you. Unlock, you fucking, oh my God. What does a girl need to do to unlock? Oh God, I'm pressing the wrong button. That's why I'm actually just stupid. Easy. Not full heart though, which is unusual for me, but usual for this level. Ah, horrifying. Five sequences actually aren't so bad without battle music. They're a little less scary. Royal guards of this realm. We are all victims in waiting. No. No, I don't like this level. No, I know what's in there. You know what? I'm gonna go take a piss before I play this level. Lest I piss myself, that wouldn't be fun. No, no. All right, I'm back. There will no be pissing myself tonight, ladies. Okay, you not. I am, I am. Thank you very much. I am afraid. I don't like how he's just watching. Oh my God. No, no. Oh, I have to be so much more conscious in this level because it's so much harder and I can't jump off of things if I'm in a mode. He's gonna get me. He's gonna get me. Oh my God. Oh, I can't. I need this rose. I need this. Dude, these guys are so hard to get when hard guys chasing me. Chasing me. He's chasing me. I need you. Come and clutch. Oh my God. Oh, I should have upgraded this bitch. Now I'm feeling the guilt. No, I don't need that though. Oh, I can't get around him. He's got such a small little hit box. Kill me, kill me, kill me, kill me, kill me, kill me. Okay, awesome. We've got both of the guards down. That's fantastic news. So now it's just this guy. Now it's just this guy. We can't kill him. Okay. Okay. That was a lot. That was a lot for me. Now we can continue. Now we just need to run. Okay, we don't need to run. Thank God. Unless he's going to pull me into a little layer where I have to run. I feel like he's going to do that. I feel like he's a bastard. Oh, he's just looming over me. Now would be a good time to end this episode, but I don't want to put the burden of fucking with this guy on future me, although I might have to. Oh, beautiful. This is even more horrifying than before. I need to get teeth though so I can upgrade that teapot cannon because I think this is going to be really fucking useful on this level. Despite how much I don't want it to be useful, it's going to be useful. I don't like how you can always hear. Shit. Okay. Yeah, I don't like how you can always hear both the queen and the cards guard just looming in the back. Being scary. These goos are red. I also, I think it's a little cool how the further you get into the game, you start to collect more memories because I think Alice is starting to regain a lot more of her memories. She's getting closer and closer to the truth. You know what I mean? Help us, Alice. I feel like that's a fake memory. Why would the mother want her daughter to die with her? And if so, that's a bit fucked up. Just leave your kid off with a little bit of trauma for not staying and dying in the fucking fire with you. I don't know about that. Mom's looking a little suspicious right now. Not in like she did bad things, but in like maybe she's not the greatest mom. I don't know, she's also like so close to death too. Can't fault her for that one. What's the bound of flu station? I have to call the attendant. Oh, dude. That's so uncomfy. She was getting stalked by this poor motherfucker. The crazy motherfucker, not the poor motherfucker. Fuck that guy, whoever that is, crazy motherfucker. Oh my God. Is this a save point? Where the fuck is the save points? Oh my God. I did not see a timer come up at any point during this and I'm trying to leave. Wow. Tell me that doesn't actually kill me though. Okay, it doesn't. Really? I gotta get all the way back up there. Are you fucking kidding me? Oh, this game's so cringe. Whole body? Yeah, he's just floating right there. That's crazy. Okay, we gotta get rid of these guys first. These guys are gonna be the bane of my fucking existence. There we go. Okay, we got that guy. Oh, shit. That was my fault. I should have ran first. Come on, come on, come on, come on. Just kill him, just kill him, just kill him, just kill him. Yes, one head, one head, come on. I think he took longer than he usually does on that. What are you gonna do to me? What are you gonna do to me? Now, let this be a save spot. I think it is, because if it loads, it's a save. Okay, let's just get through this first, then I guess. Oh, it didn't let me run immediately. He just did that twice. Reflection sometimes exposes more reality than the object in the echo. Okay, that's a save spot. We're gonna leave it off right here. Jesus, oh my God, I kind of have a headache. I'm getting motion sickness from this fucking game. Boy, is the card garden experience. I forgot how fucking terrifying he is. I think I was blocking him out of my memory. I think I was genuinely blocking him out of my memory, so I didn't even have to think about him. But he scares me more than the colossal ruin somehow. I think it's because you can't really fight him. He's just, I don't know, it's just horrifying. It's just terrible. So next time when we come back to this level, which should be next week, if I'm not mistaken. But anyways, we're gonna finish this level on the next video. So I will see you guys later, and I hope you guys have a very good night. Love you guys. Bye.