 I've never felt like this before. I used to be a trooper like you, you know. Fuck it, you. I don't know any of you. Wait, is that... You don't even know who I am, do you? Wait, Kronk, is that you? PODWOOD! THEY HIDED YOU BACK HELL! HOW'S DEE-FUCK ME TO ME FOR YOU?! HOW THE FUCK DID THEY HIDE YOU BACK WHEN THEY GOED INTO ME?! Hey, you man, Kronk. I spent all my money on mobile games. Those fucking games where you tap the button to get the cookie and the cookie number keeps going up and I kept going after that and I spent all my money that I had as a lawyer and it's all now gone and I don't have any money left and I've just been... I've been homeless for the past three years. Oh my lord. That's the problem. Damn, video games are for children, okay? I'm video game. Children have indisposable income. Why? Because their parents are like a fountain of bullshit and they just keep giving them money because they don't know that the kid took credit card. But when we grow up as adults, we have jobs, okay? That's why we don't have any money once you're an adult. I got a lot of... I had a lot of spare time, you know, as a lawyer when I got fired, I started, you know, I... That was shit. You were a lawyer. I was a lawyer five years ago. I was a great lawyer. I was posted at like seven cases a day, okay? I was doing good, but there was a lot of spare time in between and I just thought, oh, I'd download this game on my phone and then I started missing court and then I was missing out on the clients and then they stopped paying and I thought, well, I mean, it's just a bad run. It's just a bad run, you know? Then I found this gambling app on my phone, right? It told me that if I kept reposting their social media on Twitter, okay, they'd give me free coins, okay? And then I'd win more money as long as I spent $5 every time I did it, okay? But it never went up. I couldn't stop it, okay? Then I got into cryptocurrency. Oh, my lord. Okay, I got into the bitcoins and then they changed the butt and then I didn't change from a bit and I lost $72,000 in bitcoin, okay? Oh, my lord. So now you're broke. I was so desperate. I'm broke. This place is shut. I don't even recognize this building anymore. Violent. I can't. Oh, my lord. Crock, I'm telling you. Crock, I'm telling you, I came in here. I thought the same thing. I said, what the hell happened to this place? I remodeled the whole thing. Where is that? No, no, what do you mean? You know the clip of me and Andrews cuffing each other when we're trying to cuff? Excuse me. He's the one who uncuffs us. Oh, got him. We got a couple. Stay down, miss. Stay down. No. Oh. Get me out of handcuffs. What the hell are we doing? Oh, god damn it. How the hell did we do this? Okay. Hey, we need help. We need backup immediately. We managed to cuff each other. Oh, my god. You fucking idiot. Here, he's in the car. He's in the car. He's in the car. He's in the truck. He's in the truck. In the truck, in the big truck. He's in the truck. Now he's fucking dirty. Like, he definitely played Whippy, or Whippy ever played Dundee more, but he played at the beginning of 3-1-0, he played Crock Steve. I don't know what to do with myself. There's lots of purpose in life, okay? There is lots of purpose in life, but I need something to do with it. Yeah, I saw it. It's Crock now, Steve. He's back. Yeah, we gotta get Crock an application. I thought you did it this morning. Well, we should be. Yeah, I mean, good officers. Wait, why'd you get fired from the LSPD? Yeah, why did you get fired? Well, you got fired, or did you? I got fired. Like, fired, fired. Well, you got fired, fired. What the hell did you do? I shot Raymond Romanov's cat, and then I put it in evidence and then lied about it. Well, it's okay. I committed, you know, I committed war crimes and I got fired, too. Ah! Don't put that in your application. I also got... You know what? My application, it's not gonna go so well, okay? Because I want to put in there that all is the first trooper to be hired in two years. But you know what else I want to say? I'm also the first trooper to ever be fired within six months of being hired! No, no! Don't mention your pri- Okay, don't mention that. Listen, listen, listen, Crock, okay? This PD is way different, okay? Okay? This PD doesn't know your his- Sandbass has really changed it around, hasn't he? You think he'll move on from the par? Well... Bass is... Bass is dead. Bass is dead. What do you mean Bass is dead? Apparently- He died like six years ago. Yeah, apparently Bass died in the war or something. Before the war, I don't really understand. No, he died to an explosion. What about Dominic Toretty? Is he around? Nope. He might be dead, but I don't know for sure. William Gunner? Apparently Gunner's- Gunner's been dead. Yeah, apparently Gunner's dead, too. Vandy, Wrangler? Wrangler skipped down. I know where Wrangler is. Oh, there you go. Where'd he go? What happened to my leaders? I don't know. I miss them, too. I miss them all. Fred, the whole nine yards. Toretty. I saw Spenson. Yeah, I saw Spenson, though. Spenson's been around a little bit. But he ain't PD-ing. Spenson's not a cop. Yeah, Malton's not part of the PD no more, neither. Hi! Yeah, they work for the government now. That's a divine mechanic. Yeah, they're paper pushers now. And I'm timeless. I mean, listen, are you trying to apply to the PD? Because you got to get your shit together. This is all I got. I don't have anything else. Look, I need to get back in my life. And it's simple as this. If the PD would take me, I will have another go. And I will submit an application. But if it fails, then I might just go back to being the world's most annoying lawyer. Because I don't know if any of you two know. But for the past three months before the Sand Queen shut down or whatever, I stood right there on that corner for nine hours a day with a megaphone, screaming at every car that came in and out, screaming, call a lawyer. I sat at the front, and I just screamed, taste laws, and caught out undercover cop cars every day. Well, listen, we don't want that. I mean, I want to work with you. I want a chain. Hey, Barak, maybe you have no legacy. You don't crack it out, Steve. Big mustache, really loud guy. Yeah, Australian, the whole nine yards of him. No! All that way. Where's he at? He's going to Jaywalk. Yeah, he's here. So we want to talk to him. OK, I'm on the way. All right, I appreciate it. Yeah, that's it. What do you do? Did the change of point are in there? Did the change of parking? No, I think parking's the same. You need to talk to Barak. Is that Barak? Yeah, that's Barak. Yeah, so Barak's our new chief of police. He just got promoted. I like Barak, sir. I hear you and your new chief of police. He's over there. Also, this gentleman. I like Barak, sir. Barak, look, it's parking house, Steve. Why is the only one shoe on? I lost all my money. You were down bad in the beginning. You know, give him a cut of my break, you know? You look like a caveman and he just looks like homeless person, you know? I was a lawyer for a while and in between cases, I started playing this fucking cookie mobile game where you tap the screen and it makes the number go bigger. And I spent all my money on the game and I lost my bar license and I lost all my money and I've just been wandering the streets for two years. Can you tell me you ruined your entire life to a gacha game? Yes, I fell for it. It plays tricks on you. The mind is so easily manipulative, OK? Is that what we call the game? They got me. They call it gacha, oh, damn. That's how they got me, OK? It was just five dollars here and five dollars there and then another five dollars and then maybe a couple one hundred and twenty five dollars, big well, spend dollars and then and then look, then Diablo Mortal came out and then I spent, oh, God, twenty grand on that game just to get one epic rare loot item. Oh, that was a miserable experience. You won an application. Do you accept homeless, disgraceful troopers? I mean, what was the last thing you were? Was it a trooper? Was it an officer? I was a lot happened back then. You got fired like three times. I don't remember if I was officer or senior officer. I was one of the two. Yeah, one time you want to hear a story? One time it made me and Tony. Andrews were chasing Jean Paul around and he was crawling around on the back of a car. He got out and then me and me and Andrews both went to cover Jean Paul. I remember this and me and Andrews cut each other at the same time and Kroc came by and he had to come up with covers. I don't remember that. Yeah, so here's the thing, Kroc was nice. Yeah, so that's just a testament to his wisdom and being like, look, I can't go chase the damn mouse here. Okay, I got to go help my fellow officers first. I will list one positive with one negative because I'm a truthful man. I was the fastest driver in the SRU time trials out of every other officer on the force. I was also the only officer to be fired immediately for not repairing the vehicle four times in a row after being told to do so. I was the first trooper to be hired in two years. I was also the first trooper to have ever been fired. I am the quickest officer to go up to senior officer for my hire. I have also been demoted and fired from senior officer for separate occasions in time. Look, it's truthful. I shot a cat. There's no positive there. That was negative. That's what got me fired. That was, look, I'm honest though, okay? You put it out if it's misery. No, I put it out if it was Raymond Romanov's cat. And then I proceeded to be, I was also the first cop to actually successfully be arrested and charged for a docket case submitted by Tesla lamb on animal cruelty. Okay, so I made a lot of mistakes. I have a lot to learn. Yeah, two of those mistakes is showing up without pants on. I don't have any pants. Have you actually changed like, like in the past five? Is this the same shirt? I got like a little stash in the bag. I had, I had clothes in a bag that I used to carry around, but the fucking sanitation people came by and took my garbage bag, my clothes. They took my clothes. This is all I got left. What if this application has a $2,500 entry fee? What are you going to do? Wait, how much is the entry fee again? $2,500. I'm giving you the heads up that there will be a $2,500 entry fee. Are you going to get the money for that entry fee? He's up to you. Well, I would not do anything illegal. Yeah. Well, thanks for the clarification. I got confused for a minute. There's a beautiful place called Senior Buns. Oh my Lord. You're not going to make a Morgan Senior Buns. Hey, he needs money. He's just an idea. Oh my Lord. Hey, she's going to work at Senior Buns for a little bit. You'll make $2,500 at no time. Dude. Oh, yeah. Just like three shifts. He'll be fine. I have faith. Yeah. Just don't get robbed either. Well, boys, I guess I'm off to Senior Buns. See you next week, Cron. See you next week. I'll be fine. I'm going to get my job. No, it's raining. I really fucking wish I had some underwear. This fucking rain is not making this pleasant fool in any way, shape or form. God fucking damn I hate this. You're going to make some money and plot for me. You're going to be rich. OK, we need you out there. I got this. Thank you, sir. Goodbye, sir. All right, it sounds good to crack.