 Okay, so does he want a real relationship or does he not want a real relationship? That is the question here. If you're not sure about whether he wants a relationship or not, you could be getting yourself into a really bad situation that doesn't end up leading to what you want and you may end up wasting a whole bunch of time and being really regretful and wishing that you would have looked for the signs or known the signs beforehand. And so today we're going to talk about seven different signs that he wants a real relationship with you. And so my name is Matthew Coast and welcome to Commitment Connection. I am your big brother in the dating world. And so if you're really serious, before we get started, if you're really serious about getting into an amazing relationship where a man values you and sees you and loves you for who you are, make sure that you go to thegoddiscommunity.com and consider joining our community there for free. Okay, so we're gonna be talking about seven things to look for with a guy who wants a real relationship with you. And the first six things that we're gonna be talking about, if they aren't there, that's a huge red flag. However, if they are there, that doesn't necessarily mean that he wants a relationship with you because the only one that really matters long term is number seven. I mean, they all matter, but the first six, if they're not there, they're red flags. And number seven is what really determines whether he wants a relationship with you or not. So and if you're here with us right now, make sure that you say hi in the chat and let us know where in the world you're watching this from, because that's really awesome to see all these people around the world watching all these live streams. It's a lot of fun. Okay, so number one is he'll talk to his friends and family about you. He'll invite you into different aspects of his life. He might invite you to meet his friends. He might invite you to meet his family. He'll go and meet your friends. He'll go and meet your family. So that's number one. And you're going to be doing things more that involve more than you guys just going out and hooking up. And this what this means is that he really trusts you and that he likes you enough to include you in the rest of his life. That's what it means. It means that he trusts you. He means that he likes you. It means that if he thinks that if he brings you around his friends and family that you're not going to be embarrassed of them that he's not going to be embarrassed of you. He's proud to show you off. He's proud to show you show them that you're around him and you're reliable enough in order to do that. Number two is he deletes his dating profiles. And really what this means is that he's done searching and is certain that he doesn't really care about meeting anybody else anymore and that he wants to or he is getting his needs met through you and or it could be other people if he's seeing other people as well. But it means that he's getting his needs met and that he's not searching anymore for anybody else to be in his life. Sign number three is he gives more than he takes. And so what this looks like is he puts an effort. He gives you compliments. He goes out of his way to meet up with you and see you and he pays attention to you. He might end up buying you things or doing different things. Really what this means is that he wants to impress you and that he's investing in you. And if you know anything about we've talked about this in some of the other live streams and videos that I've done where I talk it's basically it's called the sunken fallacy. I can't remember the name of it right now but it's something about sunken something fallacy where basically the more somebody invests in something the more that they feel like they're really attached to it and they're committed to it. And so a guy will invest a lot in you if he believes that he wants to be a part of you and he wants to be kind of with you for a while. Guys will invest in you if they feel that way. Number four is he's reliable and he's consistent with you. So he plans to meet up with you consistently every single week. And he so for instance if you guys are dating and first it's kind of like you know let's do this you know are you free then or whatever right and I'm not sure really if I'm gonna have that time available or whatever and eventually what he does is he'll end up scoping out like a piece of his life where he kind of fits you into it and he's like okay every week I'm gonna make sure that we meet up and I'm going to have some space available to meet up with her. He'll he'll figure out what's going on with your schedule and what your schedule is like and then he'll be like okay every week we're gonna do this at the same time or you know I'm gonna have this time available for myself so that we can end up meeting up because she has become more of a priority for me in my life over other women over other events over other things that I might be doing. And so really what this means is that he's created a space for you to be there. If you get what I'm talking about here say I get it in the chat if you don't get what I'm talking about here just ask me whatever questions you have about this. So number five is he makes things easy and so what this looks like is that you don't have to worry about what he's doing or where he is or how he feels or what's going on. He'll make it really easy for you guys to meet up together. He'll stay in communication with you. He'll talk to you about things. He'll connect with you in different ways. He'll make it really easy for you to be a part of his life and really what this means is that he wants to have you in his life. So number six is that he actually wants to get to know you to know more about you and your personality and so he'll start paying more attention to you. He'll start listening to you. He'll ask you questions. He'll learn about you. He'll learn about things that are going on with you. He'll learn about the things that you like and the things that you don't like. Things that you're favorite. Things that aren't your favorite and he might kind of surprise you with things around that kind of stuff. And basically what this means is that he's deeply attracted to you. And so that's one through six. And like I said, number seven is the most important one. If it's not there, then none of this means necessarily that you are going to get into a relationship. And so number seven is that he'll unapologetically, he'll be very unapologetic about wanting a relationship with you and to be exclusive. And usually it starts off with being exclusive and he'll kind of talk about that. And he'll talk to you about it and he'll ask you about it or he'll say something to you about it. And the other one is he'll be unapologetic about being in a relationship with you. And so if you bring up either one of these things, it'll sound something like, yeah, of course. Yeah, absolutely. Like, yeah, I have no problem with that or, you know, yeah, that's what we're doing this whole time. And sometimes it will even seem like, you know, he'll be like, yeah, what do you think we're doing here? Right. And basically, that's him communicating with you and telling you that he actually does want a relationship with you. And so if you do bring it up or he brings it up, it's very clear that he wants a relationship. He doesn't beat around the bush. He doesn't, you know, do a song and dance trying to like, you know, get you off the subject or weave around it or not tell you an answer or any of that kind of stuff. He'll be very straightforward with you about actually wanting a relationship. And you know, one thing to note is that if you don't talk about it, then you can just assume that you're not in a relationship. And that's why number seven is so important. There was a woman in our community today that I was chatting with who was talking about how, you know, she's been seeing this guy for months and and she didn't want to give him the wrong impression that she didn't want a relationship and they've been sleeping together and all that kind of stuff. And she's like, Well, I don't want to give him the impression that I don't want a relationship. And it's like, well, you guys kind of like jumped the boat on that one, right? Like you need to talk about that earlier in kind of the dating situation that you're in, in order to make sure that you guys are on the same page there. Because if a guy's interested in a relationship with you, he'll know pretty, pretty early on like really, really early on with the first within the first few dates. And within the first six months, he'll know absolutely for sure what kind of a relationship he ultimately wants with you, whether it's something casual, something real, or actually going through the entire marriage thing altogether. And so he'll know exactly what's going on by the six month mark. And so you should have talked about it way, way before then I keep getting questions about that where they're like, Well, you know, we're hitting the six month mark, should I ask them if we're in a relationship yet? And it's like, oh, man, you guys should have talked about that way before the six month mark, right? And but it's just by that time by the end of that time, he knows for sure. And so if he's still waffling after the six month mark, studies have shown this where they've there's they've surveyed and interviewed guys about this. And pretty much unanimously, they figured out that guys by the six month mark know exactly what kind of a relationship they want. And so if they're not talking about that, if they're not being clear and concise with it, when you bring it up or talk to them about it, then basically, you need to know that that's, it's probably not going into a relationship ever. And so you need to think about what you actually want and what's what's good for you and whether you want to stay in that situation or not. Okay, so I'm going to go back over the seven different signs. And if you have any questions, make sure that you put them in the chat, and I will get to all of the chats here in a second. And if you have any questions, make sure you ask them in the chat and I'll go through them and I will answer any questions that y'all have for me. So going back over. So number one is he talks to his friends and family about you. He invites you into different aspects of his life. And he does things with you more than just hooking up. And you know, this could be inviting you to meet his friends and family or going and meeting with your friends and family. Number two is he he deletes his dating profile. Number three is he gives you more than he takes. Number four is he's reliable and consistent with you. Number five is he makes things easy for you. Number six is he actually wants to get to know you more more about you and your personality. And remember those six are important there. If they're not there, it's a huge red flag. And the most important one is number seven he's unapologetic about wanting a relationship and to be exclusive with you. So let's see what everybody's talking about in the chat here. So we have Malik. Hello, hello, hello. Hello, Yolanda. Hey, Julie tree. DD thinks my hair looks good. Thank you. Thank you for that. I love compliments. If anybody wants to give me a compliment. Thank you so much. Melissa says she's from Denver. That's cool. Miss paranoid Android says hello. Perfect timing. Fantastic care. Thank you. Kitty Sprinkle from Cincinnati. That's where I grew up. Let's see. Suborna says we are 40 in age. Do you think all the signs will be the same for our age also? Yeah, I mean, it's one of those things where there are some big differences from in age groups, right? Like when when you go over 40, there's some things that happen biologically that are really different. But it's still the same, right? Like even for you, right? It's the same with him. And so like a lot of women look at it and they're like, Oh, you know, is this just what a guy does? No, this is the same thing for both men and women. And it's pretty much universal, right? Like is he having you, you know, and if you guys have kids, like are you guys meeting each other's kids? And, you know, there's a few other things that are going on there. But absolutely, it's definite. Like if he's not unapologetic about being in a relationship with you and being exclusive with you, then that's a huge, huge, huge red flag. Debbie from Chicago. 48 and 60. Yeah. It's the same. It's the same at those ages. Hi from Africa. Can you suggest what should I think at this age? What should you think? Thank you. It depends on what's going on in your life. What what should you think? If you guys have any questions about anything, I will answer. I'll answer any questions, even if they're crazy. So can you suggest what should I think at this age? I think at age 40, you should be thinking about, you know, what you want. What what kind of a legacy you want to leave on the earth? What kind if you have children, I think you should be thinking about what kind of a role model you want to leave for them and how you want to give to them or give back to the world in general. Erica says what is long distance consistency? Long distance consistency, it depends on what you're talking about. Like one of the things that you need to do in long distance is make sure that you're meeting up with each other at least once a month. If you're not meeting up with each other at least once a month in your long distance, you're going to have a lot of challenges and a lot of problems. You're going to be not getting your needs met in a lot of different ways and that could end up being a problem for either one of you. And so that that could be a big, big challenge. Lee says girls get him. He's the perfect guy. Okay. So Darla says looks like I'm back to square one looking for someone real darn it. Yeah, I mean, you want to make sure that this stuff is happening. And like I said, one of the things you want to make sure of is just talking about like what kind of a relationship you're looking at for from the get go, right? Because guys will be pretty upfront and honest about it, right? Most guys are looking for a real relationship that those are the statistics statistics show most men are looking for something real. Some men don't believe they're ever going to find it. And some men don't when they met you, there's something about you that you've done that makes it so that they don't feel like they want something real with you. And so if as long as you're kind of discussing all this stuff, he'll kind of let it be known through what he says, whether he's looking for something real with you or not. And so you need to kind of communicate and talk about these things and don't leave it up for chance and don't go around guessing and being wishy washy about it. And you know, these are the hints or you know, is it there? It's like have have come conversations, you know, communicate about these things. CB says, is this saying he does want a relationship but few hang ups? He says, I am glad you are clearly a caring person and I know you want something special, but I need to I need that to involve being the total package for me. So well, what he's saying is that there's something, there's something missing for him. That's what he's saying with that when he says, I need that to involve being the total package for me. There's there's something missing either with you or with him there that he feels like he he's unable to get into a real relationship with you right now. And so basically what you want to do is if a guy says something like that, you want to just be curious about it and say, Oh, what do you what do you mean about that? Like what is what's the total package for you? What's missing from that total package that you need, right? And he might start talking about himself. He might start talking about you. And you just want to ask him about that and just try not to get overly offended. If he's talking about you and just just let it go, right? One of the big challenges that a lot of women do is they get into these situations where a guy just wants a something or they get into a situation where they ask a guy things about stuff like this. And then when the guy starts saying things, they start taking it really personally, and they feel really hurt about it. And my suggestion is just just let it all go whatever he says, because he's going to say whatever it is. And it might be something really kind of harm feeling really kind of harmful to you. And it might not, right? And so you don't know. And then he's going to say something and if it's really bad, just let it go and just move on and get support and, you know, do whatever you need to do to feel good about yourself. And don't let it let it just roll off your back and don't take it personally. Then he says, What if we are just friends without benefits? He invites me to go out but as friends. Well, if you want something more, which is the only reason I would think that you're asking about this, then what you need to do is you need to go watch my live stream. I did a live stream that's called how to go from how to go how to turn your guy friend into your boyfriend. You should go watch that live stream. It's everything you need in order to turn a guy friend into a boyfriend. So if that's what you want, go check out that live stream. Rebecca said, Number seven, yes, he has communicated this said he is more interested than I realized. I'm sure that's awesome. Congratulations. Congratulations on that one. Lisa says, Hi, I've gotten back with my ex after nine years. How do I go about it? What do you mean you've gotten back with your ex and what questions do you have about going about it? It's a very vague question. Very vague. Cynthia says, We've been together for a year and started out being friends with benefits. Then he made me his girlfriend. Awesome. You are one of the few. He started doing things I like, but he doesn't but he doesn't. He's more affectionate. Okay, then he says, test says, Hi, how are you? I am doing fantastic. I am feeling amazing. My life is absolutely great right now. I'm living the dream. So thank you for asking. Then he said, Does these signs apply to if me and my guy are just friends, friends without benefits? Well, yeah, I mean, if he's showing interest, what you want to do is one, you want to turn it into something that's romantic, right? Create kind of a romantic frame around it, which is what I talk about in that live stream that I'm talking to you about is create a romantic frame around it. Look for the signs and then make sure that you end up having that conversation about what it is that he wants so that you don't end up getting into something that's just a friend with benefits. Lee says, Are you in a relationship yourself? Yes, I am. Jody says, I have red flags all the time. One year in two months and never took me on a date. Introduced me to anyone, but he tells me he wants me so confusing. We are 60 and not easy. Yeah, I mean, that's a big red flag. That's a big red flag. And so you should be very concerned about that. Elizabeth says, You have a great smile. Thank you. I appreciate that. Cynthia says, He stares into my eyes and hugs and cuddles even though he doesn't like it. He's 57 and I'm 58. So why do you think he is changing? Do you think he wants more? Well, I think he wants to please you. I think he wants to make you feel good and make you feel happy, right? That's what I think. Guys will do that, right? If he knows that you want something and he wants to please you, which a lot of guys do, right? A guys that are compassionate, they want you to feel good and they want you to be happy and they want you to get your needs met, right? And those are the kind of guys that you want to be with. Tess says, if he doesn't, if he says he doesn't do the lovey-dovey stuff, but I'm always, but always is concerned if I'm seeing someone and is constantly referring to him and I as we. Yeah, see what you're doing right here is exactly what I was talking about. And what I was talking about was looking around for little hints instead of actually having a conversation about what's going on. Because, you know, sure, you want to look for hints. You want to look for red flags. You want to look for green flags, but you also want to have a conversation so that there's no miscommunication about it. All this hinting around and, you know, is he interested? You know, what does he want? Like, you know, just talk to him about it. He'll be very, you know, he'll either be really upfront about what he wants or he'll wave a giant red flag in front of your face. One or the other. Julie Tree says, Matt, I am not considered high value if I am disabled and can't work. You know, not being able to work or not working is just ridiculous. I mean, it like thinking that you're not valuable because you don't work, there was a study that was done. I was just reading about it today. I can't remember exactly what it was talking about specifically, but what they said in it as one of the ending conclusions is that most men absolutely don't care about your job, how much money you make, or anything like that. Your job has nothing to do with your value. It's women that are concerned about men who have jobs that are better than theirs, right? That's what is high value for women. Is a man who has a job and has financial resources. For most men, they don't care about your job. They don't, you know, if you have one that's cool and they like it and they're happy for you and all that kind of stuff, but it's not something that determines your value in his eyes, right? That's a thing that the feminine determines is valuable, right? His resources, his security is kind of creating this shelter and this environment for her to be in. That's a feminine thing to look for, not a masculine thing. The masculine doesn't care about financial security from outside sources because he's creating that dome of security for you. So just remember that. Sissy says, the guy I'm, I was seeing changed. He started working so much, but texted me every day morning and talking like my boyfriend, but couldn't meet up for three weeks. Red flags for me. I cut him off. He hasn't text me since. Okay, Diane said, I had a guy exactly like what you just described and I was scared, felt like he was too good for me. Okay, we broke up a couple of times, got back together. He broke up with me. Should I wait for this guy? What you should do is you should build up your self-esteem and you should build up your confidence and you should build up your believing that you deserve something greater and better and that you deserve a great guy, right? That's really what you should do is build up your confidence in yourself and what it is that you deserve in your life because if you're waiting for this guy, if you get back together with this guy, if you talk to this guy, what's going to end up happening is the same thing is going to happen over and over and over again and it's probably going to happen in any other relationship that you end up getting into as well because it's this thing that's internally driving it, right? This belief system, this emotional state that you have that says that you don't believe that you're deserving of having a great guy, of being treated well, of having what it is that you want in your life and so what you'll end up doing is you'll subconsciously sabotage any guy that gets in any kind of interaction that you get with a great guy into your life and you'll keep doing that forever until you break the pattern and allow yourself to feel good and connect with yourself in a way that allows you to believe that you are deserving of what it is that you want. See, Plunk says five months in love with a man that will not have a relationship with me. He says because he has been hurt two times, he will not do it again. Why can't we just do what we are doing? He says, well, and so this is about you, right? So he's getting what he needs. That's what he's saying right there. When he says why can't we just do what we are doing, what he's saying is I'm getting all my needs met. Why can't we just stop right here? And so what you need to decide is whether one of your needs is having something more or not, whether it's the label, whether it's the ring, whether it's whatever it is that you feel like you need, you need to decide whether that's one of your needs and whether that's something that you absolutely want or not. And if it is something that you absolutely want, you need to pull away and start seeing other people and kind of let him alone and stop sleeping with him, stop making, getting his needs met, right? Because if he's getting all his needs met and he doesn't care about your needs, then he's not going to do anything about it. But if you pull away and you're like, hey, okay, I'm gonna find somebody that is willing to give me what it is that I want, if you're not willing to, then he's gonna do one of two things. Either one, he's gonna step up and start being a man for you and start actually being compassionate and making sure that you are getting your needs met or he's gonna end up saying, okay, it's not worth it to do this again. I'm too scared. My inner child has hurt too much and I'm just gonna walk away from it, right? It's gonna be one of those two things. He's either going to step up to the plate and become the man that you want him to be or he's gonna walk away completely and decide that it's not worth it for him and that's a choice that he has to make. And if you're coming from a place of power, which is what I suggest and I've talked about in some of these other videos, I think you've been in some of the other live streams and you've probably seen me talk about kind of coming from this place of power instead of the place of force, that's where you need to be coming from. So that there's choice, so that he has a choice and he makes a choice whether he wants to be with you or not. Tess says, what if he says, I know you're not mine but I don't want to share you? Well, what you want to do is find clarity about that. Like, what do you mean I'm not yours? You know I'm not yours, right? Like, but basically what he's saying right there is he's saying like he doesn't think that you're in a relationship or that you're exclusive but that he wants you, you to be exclusive with him. And so you need to have a conversation one about exclusivity, right? So that you're talking about not just you being exclusive with him but him also being exclusive with you, right? Which is something that ends up happening sometimes if you don't have that conversation with him where you both talk about being exclusive with each other sometimes what people will do is try to pigeonhole you into being exclusive with him while he gets to go off and do whatever he wants which some women do this as well so it's not just like a guy doing this to women thing I just want to throw that in there because I might get some like man haters out there hating on guys here for doing that but yeah you need to have that conversation with him and get some clarity around it and talk to him about it Mary says grandma says hi well tell your grandma I said hi I think your grandma is wonderful So Jobin, Jobina says I have met two of his three children he changed his relationship status on social media but won't tag me to it what's your opinion on that? My opinion on that is that you should stop caring about what's going on on his social media right the meeting two of his children thing is great stop worrying about what his social media status says and start being more concerned about what your relationship is like in real life I mean obviously if you know he actually cares about his social media status enough that he changes the relationship status on it it means that he cares about that but your biggest care shouldn't be about his social media status and what's going on on social media because that will end up driving you absolutely crazy what you should care about is how he actually feels about you and being in a conversation with you about this you know one of the things you have to remember too is that both men and women kind of played this game where they're like waiting for the other person to say it first right to bring up the conversation first and my suggestion for you is that as the woman if you want more than just something that's casual you should definitively bring it up so Cynthia says he recently excuse me he recently said that I am the complete package do you think he wants a more serious relationship with me like I said stop looking for the hints right this is this is what I'm talking about like we get women all the time they're like okay well you know I'm not gonna ask him right I just want to search the hints they're like you know plan detective right you know like looking around seeing you know picking up the you know the the you know the the clothing on the ground and you know like do I see any blood spots on the clothing stop doing that you know go and talk to him about it that is where you will get the definitive information about really what it is that he wants and what he doesn't want and whether he's going to wave a big red flag in your face or not so make sure that you're talking to him about this Diane says we broke up a year ago and still want him back he told me that he was emotionally connected to me and didn't want to let me go right you know but you know is he letting you go so it's it's not he's emotionally connected to you but he doesn't want to let you go but is he letting you go you know like what jury says hey Matthew amazing topic I'm getting it from Nairobi all right so Elizabeth says Julie Tree I'm disabled and can't work either after years found someone that cares and takes advantage of the time I have that's better don't ask me how Paco says he became a celebrity and moved to another city and then broke up with me he has a huge fan following of girls today okay Melissa says what does it mean when a guy asks to be friends with benefits can that end up in a relationship what it means is that it's probably not going to end up in a relationship what what they've done is they've done a study on this and people who try to go from a friend with benefits to a real relationship like people that actually try it's not just friends with benefits that go into a real relationship it's people who actually try to go from a friend with benefits into a real relationship it only happens one in nine times right and so basically what you're getting right now is a big red flag that says hey I'm probably not going to want anything more anytime in the future we're agreeing to this right now you know that you're agreeing to this right now and so if you bring up anything else in the future just remember that you agreed to this and he'll point back to when you agreed to this and that you're nothing more and so my suggestion is that if you want a real relationship do not get into a casual friend with benefits situation with anybody just stop doing it completely and because what what ends up happening is you're going to have this guy in your life right and if this guy is taking up the space of getting your needs met and getting into something real then you're not going to have space open for another man who's serious to come in and give you what it is that you actually want so lisa says we are now back together he said we are back on how do i go about texting him you just you just want some texting tips i don't know are you you're back on i mean you should i i've got videos about texting i've got articles about texting you can go check those out like that that's a whole another topic all together like how do you text somebody okay so c plunk says my guy has been hurt badly and wants to not use the word relationship but i want more time with him i mean really you know you want more time with him or do you feel like you you you're just doing this because you know like if you're feeling like it's just this emotional thing where you're just addicted to it or you're just like with him because you know you're getting some of your needs met right now it's like you know what do you want long term and is this going to give it to you miss paranoid android says he told me he used to be a player in the past and that he's fed up with his past do you think i can trust him and believe he has changed his goals and the way he sees women well a lot of a lot of guys do right like what ends up happening with most guys most guys that are even players is at some point they're like uh you know like you know how much time it takes to be a player like i don't think you realize this right a lot of women don't get it because for most women if they want to hook up with somebody it's pretty easy right send out some text messages see who wants to come over and netflix and chill with you right and you'll have uh you can get a lineup most women can get a lineup of dudes jump on tinder and just say you're not looking for anything serious and just hit the you know accept button for you know just swipe right on every dude that you see and you'll you'll you'll end up getting some guys that want to hook up with you right that's that's really really easy to do for a guy it takes a lot more it takes lots of time because most women that you meet aren't just like ready right they aren't just ready to hook up and so they need some you know some attraction they need to be talked to in a certain way they need to feel appreciated and all these kinds of things and then the guy has to make sure that he says the right thing figures out what's going on with the girl and then kind of pulls her back and escalates things you know to the right degree in order to do it and it takes for most men it you know if if he wants to go out and meet a new woman it can take him you know anywhere from you know many many hours in a day to you know days or even weeks to end up hooking up with a new woman and so it's it's really difficult for most men right there's there's like a small minority of men that are around somewhere between like 15 and 20 percent of men who are like you know they're just players and they want to be players for life and then there's an 80 percent of men and most of them are not players most of them don't want to be in a you know player situation they don't want to go out and meet new women it takes up a lot of time they'd rather be doing anything else with their time right and so getting into a relationship makes way more sense for the overwhelming majority of guys out there even if they've been players in the past and so you know it's possible that you can trust him what you want to do is make sure that you're looking for red flags and looking for green flags and if anything comes up you know just make sure that you halt it immediately and just go slow with him and make sure that you're getting yourself into a good situation. Kerry says a guy told me he called me last weekend but I had no missed calls from him he said he will call me this weekend but still hasn't what's your opinion well I'd say that there's a pretty good chance that he's lying to you that's what I'd say Sandra says you look good but I like your natural hair when no when there's no gel in it okay thanks my guy won't do the word relationship see blank you're still talking about this uh yeah he's saying you're exclusive but you're not in a relationship that's what he's saying he's saying he's saying you guys can hook up together and that he won't hook up with anybody else but he's not going to do anything real and you have to decide whether that's what you want or not Erica said he asked about being exclusive a friend said guys only bring up exclusivity to avoid a real relationship no I mean sometimes sometimes you know you want to look at his actions right so you know one you want to talk to him about it right ask him what it is that he wants does he want a real relationship what do you want do you want a real relationship and just ask him you know ask him what what it is that he wants ultimately and he'll talk to you about it and so you know sure some guys might do that I think your friend might do that or maybe she I don't know if it's a guy or a girl but if it's a girl you know maybe she's she's had that happen to her before maybe she's done it before who knows but it's possible it's possible I mean it depends on what you think a real relationship is and what your needs are that you need to have met are and then determine whether this guy's a guy that's going to do that with you or not and have a conversation with him about it and what he's looking for and what his ideal situation would be like Rebecca said he's traveling five hours today to spend a couple of days together awesome good job congratulations last saw him a little less than two weeks ago and we FaceTime almost every day I've met his high school classmate and his older brother sounds like that's going quite well for you Rebecca congratulations Stacy says I think you're more valuable if you don't work sounds smart to me Sonia says Sonia says hi Matt from Quebec I love your super awesome videos do you have one for green flags I don't but I might be creating one Stacy said my sister is unemployed and I encouraged her to call it semi-retired it shifted her consciousness and now she's having fun with it cool prista says if he gives you the keys to his house but never calls you to come over and when you say you're coming he always says it's okay is it bad must he always say come over well I mean what kind of a situation are you in you know are you are you what are you looking for here you know he gave you he gave you the key all he all that really means is that he's given you some of his trust right he trusts you a lot you know if he gave you the keys to his place and he's basically saying come on over whenever you want what he's probably hoping is that you end up moving in with him which I suggest that you don't you know or spending all your time over there I mean you know you don't have to only come over there when he says to come over but it's one of those things where it's like you know it's it's such kind of a you know slippery slope that you're getting yourself into here right you're in a situation where I don't know if you want marriage ultimately or not but he's giving you his key which is kind of opening the door for you to come into his world as much as you want to go into his world but it sounds like you don't have a ring and that things aren't moving in that direction and that he hasn't talked about it and what you need to do is you need to sit down with yourself and figure out what it is that you ultimately want here and figure out whether you know you hanging out over there all the time is ultimately going to lead to what it is that you want which if it's marriage it probably won't if you're not you know if he's not giving you a ring or something and so my suggestion is that you don't spend all your time over there if what you want is to get married and have a real relationship and you know like figure figure out and and you ultimately want to do whatever whatever that is right and so I don't know I need to know a little bit more about your situation are you guys in a relationship or you guys just hooking up together you know like what's going on there. Lulip says I was thinking the same thing because I'm disabled and not working thank you for the question and answer to this you are welcome. Vicki says my hb is that does that mean husband hb told me one of the main reasons he fell for me was because he felt I was easy to talk to that he didn't need to censor his thoughts for fear I would judge him that's cool yeah I mean you know men want to feel safe talking to you they want to feel like they can talk to you without you freaking out or judging him or anything like that and so that's that's pretty important. Cplunk says he also would only rather hang out when we have time so instead of like the 10 minute each day he would rather do time only when we have hours to spend together to dedicate more solid time okay. Zenny said I have one more question my guy friend without benefits gives me mixed signals he invites me to hang out texts and calls sometimes just friends but he shows me signs that he's interested okay yeah what I said you know I'm just gonna suggest the same thing go watch that live stream. Cynthia said I'm asking these questions because I'm trying to figure out if he's falling in love with me or is already do you think this is why he is trying to do things to make me happy and do more with me now yeah I mean men start when they when they feel like a woman is valuable to them right which means that he thinks that you're special it means that he's really attracted to you it means that he really likes you a lot which means that you know if you're doing the right things and you do things like I talk about in my forever woman program which by the way if you're really interested I think I forgot to mention this earlier if you're really interested in getting into a real relationship where you feel loved and seen and valued by the man you're with make sure you go to the goddesscommunity.com and consider joining there for free and you'll also get a free copy of my forever woman program if you join there which I talk all about you know how to connect with a man and you know be of have him feel like raise your value in his eyes and have him feel like you're an amazing valuable woman that he wants to be with forever see plunk says uh thank you for your help yes thank you he says I'm using force I'm trying power not doing it well I'll keep trying love your advice thank you you're welcome Diane said thank you Matt we'll work on myself more and build my own self-worth awesome it's exactly what you should be doing Jobina says thank you I'm good with not being tagged in the relationship status he's a great guy and I'm enjoying learning and growing with him awesome Sonia says so what if he introduces you to his father and his best friend on the second date well it what it shows is that the first date must have really gone pretty well and that and that he likes you and that he's okay with you meeting them and not you know it not being some kind of weird thing in that he he's proud that he's around you and he wants to show you off to his best friend and his dad Melissa says thank you Matt you're welcome Roxana says it's first time I'm listening to you from Bangladesh hope to have a real guidance to improve me as a person okay Lauren says I am in a eighth month's relationship how do I ask for what I need in a feminine energy without entering in masculine energy should I wait for him to offer and do things if he wants to well you know the whole feminine energy thing means that you're kind of you're in a space of receiving you're in a space of inviting right so you can invite a guy to do things with you you can invite him to help you you can invite him to do all kinds of things with you and for you and all that kind of stuff as long as you're coming from a really secure like feeling strong and secure and confident and you know a place of being in feminine energy and and just inviting it that's not a big deal as long as you're not attached to any kind of expectations or making him do anything it's really not a big deal if you if you do that kind of stuff you can wait for him to offer but what you can also do is frame things in a way that you find attractive I talk all about this in my love frames toolkit if you want to check that out I think there's a description in the link below in the there's a link in the description below if you want to check that out about exactly how to do that and frame it in the right way I'm also going to be talking about that in the forever woman program but yeah basically what you want to do is just you know tell them what's attractive to you and what's not attractive to you and what you like and what you love and things that you enjoy and it's real easy if you're doing it that way and it's a normal conversation it's not something like weird you know it's not something you know sketchy you're just talking about things that you like and things that you love and things that you enjoy and things that make you feel good things that make you feel bad or feel unattracted yukchuruling just butchering names over here hello I've been on two dates with this guy he would plan the next date after each date but he didn't contact me that much in between is this a red flag no it's not a red flag you've been on two dates and you know he's doing the masculine thing which is he's setting up the date and then he's going about his life and he's making sure that he doesn't screw things up between the last date and the next date and that's what yeah that's one I you know I suggest that you do the same thing right because a lot of times what ends up happening and guys know this especially if they get dating advice from the men's dating side is what they'll find out is that a lot of guys what they do is they talk women out of going on dates with them by messaging them and talking to them through the week and so if he's smart he knows that the magic happens in the meetup and so what he's doing is he's just setting it up and he's like hey let's meet and okay you know and if you get to a space where you want to reach out and you want to start talking to him you can but I suggest that you keep that to a minimum if he's not reciprocating or he's not doing it as well Darla says first time here from South Carolina married 44 years listening for advice to help my eight daughters wow eight daughters it's amazing thank you thank you for helping populate the earth dating is so different now much more complicated yeah I mean there's definitely more complications because of social media and some of the other things out there it's not that it's created more problems but it's that it's amplified the already existing problems that are there ultimately I think it's going to end up being better long term but in this short term kind of initial thing it's kind of turned into a very complicated situation for a lot of people Julian says hey from Germany my ex-fiancee and I are again in daily contact but he doesn't want a relationship for the next couple of months or even years what can I do he wants to be alone after being six six years so what you want to do is you want to continue to go out and date other people and create you know potential for other people to take you off the dating market and not wait for him to make up his mind because it's very possible that he's going to decide that he doesn't want anything real and then you'll just wasted you know more time hanging out waiting for him to make a decision he's already canceled on you once right which is what it sounds like and so basically what you're doing is you're setting yourself up to be in a situation where he's able to cancel on you again and so what you want to do is create abundance for yourself put yourself in a position of power and if he decides that he's not going to choose you then what you need to do is allow somebody else to choose you somebody that's going to meet your needs and actually take care of you Rajini said hi Matt I'm Angie oh Angie from Utah he's 56 and I'm 52 we both met on bumble and we had five wonderful dates he's so affectionate he spent six to seven hours on every date he's so nice he invited to his home for dinner we had a great time I'm so touched with his behavior and then suddenly he's saying he's pulling away he's saying he's pulling away or he's pulling away I was shocked I don't know what to do now give him some space that's what you want to do give him some space Julie Trees says I'm sad that you are taken because you are so handsome thank you thank you I appreciate you telling me how handsome I am so Steve Silber says I am late but trying to catch up hi there handsome brother from Hong Kong hello miss paranoid android says thank you so much Matt for this elaborate response keeping my eyes open for red flags taking it slow with him thought so I'm giving him time to develop his new skills she plunks says why does he kiss me on the forehead when I tell him I love him he says I know you do I mean really it just sounds like he's he's got this big bag of red flags and he's like pulling him one out at a time and waving him in front of your face and grabbing new ones and throwing them in front of your face you just need to pay attention to that Alexandra says knowing this guy for a few years through through mutual friend we live in different states so we only saw each other once three years ago plus messaged here and there we reconnected recently and he's flying to and then your message cut off so then he said thank you for answering our questions much appreciated you're welcome Lauren says if my boyfriend said we are couple and we are in committed relationship that meant he will be interested in marrying me that is not what that meant that's not what that means that's not you know it's it's funny whenever I talk to somebody and they're like you know he did this and he did that does that mean you know this thing way off in another universe which is what this is right and that's not what that means it's not what that means you got to talk about these things you have to have a conversation with him about it unless he's talking about marrying you or being together with you forever or any of that kind of stuff that that it does not mean marrying if he is talking about that then that that's what that means but if he's not that does not mean that doesn't mean that doesn't mean it Alexandra says flying to see me in two weeks we already spoke about being ready for long lasting relationship looks like we're on the same page should I ask him in person when he visits me that I want exclusivity well I would before you guys sleep together what I would talk about is being exclusive specifically around sleeping together that's what I would Sissy said Matt you have a contagious laugh I laugh when you laugh by the way you skip my question did where did I skip your question I didn't skip skip your question did I I don't know where your question is there's so many comments in here I apologize if I skipped your question I apologize Cynthia says thank you Matt I value your advice and listen to you all the time well I appreciate that I was in a verbally abusive marriage and I am trying to get back my confidence I'm in love with this man you are gorgeous okay so you know you're saying that I'm gorgeous on here Rochelle says hello Matt why do men send mixed signals then says he feels pressured into a relationship that he isn't ready for and stops communicating with you but says we can still be friends it means that he's taken a big red flag and he's waving it in front of your face and he's going hey I'm not relationship material here's my red flag and what you got to do is if you want something real and you want a real relationship you need to just let him go and just be like okay cool peace out I'm going to find somebody that does want something real with me Erica says such good advice the idea of space makes me nervous from being cheated on but I'm busy so talking daily is tough so not talking daily isn't a red flag no not talking daily is not a red flag in fact talking daily is not normal for most people that are living lives and doing things with their lives I mean you know sometimes it's good sometimes it's you know not good I mean it's it's no big deal if he's talking to you daily or he's not talking to you daily if that's something that you need that's something that you have to communicate because that's not normal behavior for most people talking every single day is not normal behavior for most people who aren't living together I mean it can be normal if that's what you want and that's what you guys want to do all right let's see if I can find sissy's question where's your question sissy where is it I do not see your question anywhere I do not see your question anywhere where is your question I see one question from you it says in talking like my boyfriend but couldn't meet up for three weeks red flags for me I cut him off he hasn't text me again there I don't see anything else after that sissy so you might have to ask your question again I think it got cut off it got cut off should I should I pursue a singing career it got cut off it got cut off Nicole says I'm dating a young guy he says he doesn't want to title us one day he says we are dating another time he says we aren't red flags red flags then he tells me he hasn't he has feelings then he doesn't I'm confused sounds like he's confused I mean imagine that you're like dating somebody you're like yeah we're dating no we're not dating I have feelings for you no I don't have feelings for you it sounds like he's confused and if he's confused what you need to do is let him be confused somewhere else and make sure you're getting what you need so sissy says why would a guy text you every day after being intimate and dating he kept only texting and being romantic but put excuses to meet up in person if was only sex for him why bother so why would a guy text you every day after being intimate but put excuses up to meet together in person because you're because you're not a priority to him that's what because he takes you for granted and he doesn't value you and so my suggestion is if he keeps doing that what you should start doing is cutting off the conversation so if he starts texting you just be like hey you know you know just answer whatever and just be like yeah keep in touch you know and just let me know you know if you want to get back together again I'm really busy right now gotta go and just do that because it sounds like you know whatever's going on with him is making it so that you haven't become a priority for him anymore and that he's and that he's doing and he's just kind of bread crumbing you right now and just kind of feeding you along for whatever right and so what you need to do is cut that off so that he feels like he's starting to lose you right so you're crazy creating scarcity there and so he starts to feel like he's losing you and he's going to have to make a decision about whether he wants to meet up with you again or whether he wants to not and that decision is and that that that decision is going to decide whether you know you end up being together or whether you end up seeing other people instead Julie says don't sing please does that answer your question sissy does that answer your question you need to start pulling back on him and just be like look you know if you're you know just tell him that you're busy and you don't have time to text all the time and that you know if you want to get together with you to let you know and just leave it at that and just cut off your texting conversations and just you know start pulling back a little bit because he you know or and ask him what's going on with him you know pull back pull back pull back sissy pull back Chelsea says this guy said I love you a couple weeks later I said it back and he said thank you he hasn't said it since yeah that can happen Zenny likes my singing okay all right Julie Jenny likes Zenny likes my my singing I think I'm gonna join get a singing career here soon Nicole says thank you for answering my question I appreciate it been thinking the same thing I need to let him go by the way great singing see more people like my singing see see they're ganging up on you Julie they're ganging up on you Beinerton says what makes a man value a woman I did a full live stream on that just go check out my live stream about how to raise your value in a man's eyes there's a couple of them on the channel one with myself and Helena and one with me you can also go check out the forever woman program you can go to the forever woman formula dot com or go to the goddess community dot com and join there and you can get my program for free and it that's all about how to raise your value in a man's eyes Lauren says Matt you have such a wise wisdom for a young soul loving your advice as always awesome Lisa says my boyfriend says he may not see me on Wednesdays or Fridays he's busy with work meetings his daughter daughter so I'm worried so I'm not sure if you're saying he can see you on Wednesdays or Fridays or if he cannot see you on Wednesdays or Fridays your basic e-girl says what do you do when your ex's friends want to date you well I mean if your ex's friends want to date you I mean that's it's kind of messed up you know if I mean they need to have a conversation with their friend about it so I mean I don't know from from your standpoint you know you can obviously do whatever you want he might feel betrayed you know from you if you start dating one of his friends and he's not okay with it and he'll definitely feel betrayed from his friends if you know and I'd say that if they haven't had a conversation with them about it which they should have then he's going to feel really betrayed and they're not actually his friends and that might be something that you want to think about Kathy said I broke up with my with my ex six weeks ago and he texted me how is it going last week I waited a day and said good I hope you're doing well he hasn't responded it's been five days so what does he want well he wanted to connect with you and you connected with him and didn't keep up the conversation you know you kind of just like said you know like if you want him to respond you have to ask him a question and I think he was probably hoping that you'd you know pick up the conversation and start talking with him but it doesn't mean much of anything you know just let it go and if he wants he needs to initiate meeting up with you and if I mean it kind of depends on who broke up with who right if you broke up with him then you're going to have to put more effort in if you want to see him again and if he broke up with you then he needs to put in the effort if he wants something with you otherwise he's just going to be stringing you along which is what you don't want oh more people not want me to sing I just is so sad this is not not okay oh well we're way past the the the hour mark so thank you everybody for being with us here somebody suggested that I play some music I'm not going to do that so I don't get this live stream demonetized but thank you everybody for being here this is all about empowering you if you're really serious about getting into a relationship where you're loved seen and valued by a great man make sure that you go to the goddesscommunity.com and consider joining our community there for free you'll also get my program called the forever woman which is all about how to uh it's all about how to attract a man into a relationship where you're really valued and you're he wants to be with you forever so go and check that out if you're interested in that and thank you so much for being here with me today and I will speak with you again soon so toodaloo goodbye