 So, the beginning of wisdom is the definition of terms, Socrates. To understand any issue, accurate definitions are always critical. High quality knowledge gives us an edge, whereas poor understanding puts us at a great disadvantage. When dealing with the thorny issue of cults, any primitive or hysterical concepts we might have leave us vulnerable to the more nuanced realities that exist today within these groups. To begin, there are at least three understandings of cults that are not very useful. Firstly, dictionaries define cults as groups that have a common set of beliefs and rituals. This overly general definition would in fact seem to include virtually all normative religions. It is often said that many of today's religions were considered cults when they first began. This approach views cults in terms of whether their doctrines or practices are acceptable to mainstream religious groups and whether they seem unusual or strange. Secondly, some Christian denominations label any religion that claims to believe in Jesus yet at the same time maintains unorthodox beliefs to be a cult. These circles, for example, consider Mormons and the Unification Church to be cults. Judaism as well as most mainstream world religions would not consider this approach to be relevant. Thirdly, people often use the word cult as a pejorative term to describe any group they don't like or a group with bizarre rituals or practices. For example, members of a mainstream religious group who appear overly zealous or fanatically devoted are often characterized as belonging to a cult. Actually, the nature of a group's beliefs and rituals has nothing to do with the assessment of whether or not it is a cult. We will soon discover that many cultic groups are not even organized around religion or spirituality. The basic concern with cults focuses on the ethics of the organizational culture and their potential danger to their members and others. Problematic groups will inevitably send up red flags warning us to be cautious and on the alert. As a starting point for understanding the true nature of cults, we find that they generally have the following three characteristics. One, a self-appointed leader who exploits the group's members. Two, deception in the recruitment process. Three, psychological and emotional manipulation to consolidate membership in the group. Here are several attempts to concisely define what a cult is. A group that practices systematic manipulation of social and psychological influence, Margaret Singer. A group that recruits through deception and retains its membership through coercion, Priscilla Coates. A cult is a highly manipulative group that exploits its members and can cause psychological, financial and physical harm to the Florida International University. Cults are often misunderstood and hard to identify because the media tends to focus only on the most horrific and dramatically sensational examples such as the 1978 mass suicide and murder of 914 members of the People's Temple run by Jim Jones in Guyana. Unfortunately, this becomes the model in people's mind for what a cult is. Other examples of well-known destructive cults include Charles Manson's group, the family, murdered eight people in California in 1969. The branched Davidians led by David Koresh in Waco, Texas, 76 members, including Koresh, perished in a fire they allegedly set that destroyed their compound in 1993. Aum Shunrikyo, founded by Shoko Asahara, presently called Olive in Japan, 1984. They conducted sarin gas attacks on the Tokyo subway system in 1995, killing 13 commuters and seriously injuring 54. The Heavens Gate group, founded by Marshall Applewhite in the early 1970s, 38 members committed suicide near San Diego in 1997. The Order of the Solar Temple was founded by Luxoré between 1994 and 1999. 74 members were murdered or committed suicide at locations in Switzerland, France, and Quebec. Movement for the Restoration of the Ten Commandments of God in Uganda, led by Joseph Kimbwetere, nearly 1,000 members were poisoned or perished in fires in the year 2000 in a mass suicide mass murder. Today, a major problem is that the stereotypical view of cults prevalent 40 years ago still persists and remains the conventional wisdom. In the 1960s and 70s, sensational stories reported that these groups compelled members to leave their families, live communally, and then deprive them of sleep while relentlessly controlling their diets. These extreme manipulations were popularized in magazines, books, and films such as the 1981 award-winning Ticket to Heaven. The truth is that cults fall along a continuum, ranging from highly controlling and destructive groups to those that are less so. Very few are on the extreme headline-grabbing end of the spectrum. Because the salient issues with many groups today are more subtle and nuanced, it's sometimes difficult to see why there may be any concerns at all. It's not very useful to get caught up in identifying whether a particular group is or is not a cult. However, it is extremely important to determine whether a group exhibits any behaviors that should concern us. To assign the label of cult is far less important than recognizing the red flags and warning signs of manipulation, control, and exploitation in the culture of an organization. So, how do we understand the characteristics of cults? So far, we've been describing the three elements that cults have in common. Now, let's examine these in more detail. One, most cults have a self-appointed authoritarian leader who is accountable to no one. Some groups may have a core leadership consisting of several people, sometimes members of one family. Leaders often claim to have special knowledge, powers, or a unique vision. If it is a religious group, they may claim to be extraordinary prophets with a special relationship to God, or possess a particular truth accessible only to them. These characteristics apply in various degrees in different groups. Leaders will foster emotionally dependent relationships within the membership to exploit them, usually for money, power, or loyalty to ensure they donate tremendous amounts of time to the group. Leaders may seek to sexually exploit members and utilize them for their own purposes and agenda. In the most insidious cults, members are used to commit crimes. Although in most groups, the nature of exploitation is more subtle. Leaders often have an ends justify the means approach to the way in which they operate their groups. Two, cults engage in deception throughout the recruiting process, because ultimately their members will be exploited in some way. No one will willingly join a group if they know in advance that they will be coerced to give up their personal freedoms. Because cults often have well deserved bad reputations, they will use innocuous front names to disguise their true identity, and recruiters will deny any connection to the parent group. The cult's deception involves not fully disclosing the group's nature or ultimate agenda. Recruiting programs will often be disguised as an innocent activity, for example. After completing the group's course of studies, members may invite friends and families to a graduation program. Attendees believe they are coming to show support and celebrate a happy occasion, unaware that this event is a high pressure recruiting opportunity organized by the cult. In most cases, the group's real beliefs and teachings will not be disclosed to those who attend initial recruiting sessions. Questions are often put off with the assurance, we'll get to that in the future. Important information is only revealed when the recruits have cemented their commitment to the group and are now considered ready to hear them. Money may be raised to help needy people, children, or the homeless, but the funds will end up in the coffers of the group. People will not be told where their monies are going and often receive misleading information as to how their funds are used. Number three, all cults employ psychological and emotional manipulation in the recruitment process and, more critically, to consolidate the commitment of those who join. Their goal is to keep members dependent, loyal, and obedient. This objective is achieved by orchestrated use of various mind control techniques that restrict personal autonomy and submerge a person's identity to that of the group. These techniques of social influence and coercive persuasion ultimately bring about thought reform and personality change. Cults employ intensive interpersonal and psychological confrontation to erode the individual's equilibrium and subsequently bring about conformity, loyalty, and compliance to the group. Success is based upon slowly infiltrating and controlling a person's behavior, sources of information, thoughts, and emotions. Some of the elements used to bring about thought reform include keeping the person unaware that they are being led through an orchestrated process designed to influence them. Controlling the person's social environment, information, and time creating a sense of powerlessness by keeping people from their normal social support network and instilling a dependence on the group. Implementing a system of rewards, punishments, and experiences to distance the person from their former social identity and to buy into the group's ideology. The use of guilt, shame, and fear to promote conformity to the group. Personal independence is discouraged and most certainly not respected. The outside world is demeaned and the cult's critics are demonized. An elitist, us versus them mindset is developed. Mistrust of non-members develops and isolation becomes an inevitable consequence. Some groups will separate members from their family and friends. The use of loaded language and thought stopping cliches serve to change members' thought processes and compel them to conform to the group's way of thinking. Isolation from external influences and strict management of information keep people under control. Peer pressure within the group coerces members to toe the line. Privacy is not respected. The group discovers a member's greatest fears and uses them as a manipulative tool. Public confessions of personal wrongdoings and faults also help to keep people under control. For the member who wants to leave or does not conform, the fear of sure fire disaster in the outside world becomes a terrifying prospect. The group is the only place where a person can obtain constant salvation, peace, success, goodness, friendship, and love. People are kept very busy and not given time to think and reflect. Group members often lose their ability to think critically as the group slowly and surely destroys this vital faculty. These extreme tactics are employed in the more totalitarian cults. Less destructive cult of groups use more subtle methods that are more difficult to detect. Let's look at the cultic landscape. Although most people assume that all cults are religious in nature, this is certainly not the case. Any group or relationship in which people are manipulated, controlled, and exploited is cultic by nature. Religious cults. Most religious cults in North America involve a connection to Christianity, which is the ambient religion. Cultic groups rooted in Eastern spiritual traditions, including Buddhism and Hinduism, are also popular. Many religious cults are apocalyptic, and focus on what they believe to be the imminent end of the world. Political cults include far left and far right wing groups, as well as various racist organizations. Some people believe that modern day terrorist groups fall into this category. Commercial and or marketing cults recruit people as slaves to sell their products. Some multi-level marketing groups and pyramid schemes have also displayed cultic characteristics. Psychotherapeutic cults include groups focusing on personal transformation, psychological insight, awareness, and enlightenment. New age cults comprise a large subgroup, including flying saucer and outer space phenomenon groups, channelers, groups focused on teachings of ascended masters, and organizations obsessed with conspiracies. Satanic cults include groups that focus on devil worship, witchcraft, or the occult. One-on-one cultic relationships can include psychotherapists, personal trainers, yoga and martial arts instructors, life coaches, as well as abusive personal relationships. Large group awareness training seminars, Elgat seminars. There is a disagreement among cult awareness experts regarding Elgat seminars, sometimes called mass therapy groups. Should they also be classified as cults? In truth, the question is purely academic, because we shouldn't be overly concerned about whether a group is or is not technically termed a cult. What is really important is whether or not there are any issues of concern about the modus operandi of the group. If people want to commit their precious time and hard-earned money to any organization, it is essential to conduct a thorough investigation along with a risk assessment and cost-benefit analysis before joining. Large group awareness training seminars, Elgat seminars, are an outgrowth of the human potential movements popular throughout the 1970s. Today, they operate as lucrative businesses offering retreats, usually for several days over a weekend. These seminars, often held at posh hotels or retreat centers, attract dozens and frequently hundreds of eager attendees. Usually, the self-styled guru who founded the group claims to have a unique approach to helping people become more effective, productive and happier in all areas of their life. The seminar experience is extremely intensive. To supposedly help participants achieve unprecedented breakthroughs in self-awareness, trainers take them through exercises that are emotionally and physically confrontational. These grueling experiences are allegedly designed to discover the internal blocks that hinder people from reaching full potential in their professional lives and personal relationships. Over the course of the seminar, participants establish a unique camaraderie among themselves. Many report that the experience was very positive and the insights into who they are and how to improve their lives were extremely helpful. On the other hand, there is a tremendous amount of controversy surrounding most Elgat seminars and rightfully so. We have spoken with many people who were initially very enthusiastic about their experiences. However, when their friends told them about the seminar's inherent problems, these participants asked us for our input. We always clarified that if they had spoken to us before attending their seminar, we would have described some potential concerns and advised them to proceed with caution. Because these individuals had already invested a significant amount of time and money in the organization, they were now predisposed to defend the group against any criticism and not be open to reevaluating their involvement. Before attending a program, people must be clear about their goals and achievable gains. As well, it is essential to investigate all groups regardless of their slick presentations and endorsements. In being cautious, there is nothing to be lost and much to be gained. Today, it is easy to investigate almost every organization by doing an internet search for videos, recent publicity, and purported gurus. If red flags pop up, people must ask themselves if they can accomplish the same goals with an accredited therapist who doesn't trigger any alarms. Caveat Emtor, let the buyer beware. A partial compilation of potential problems associated with personal development programs include program recruitment personnel are often vague or secretive about what actually takes place. It's extremely difficult to make an informed decision when the people persuading you to attend insist that they can't really explain what happens because you just have to experience it for yourself. The programs assume that all participates are being sabotaged by some psychological blocks and therefore they offer a one-size-fits-all solution to hundreds of attendees. This simplistic approach highlights one of the many problems in attempting mass therapy. To attend a program is an expensive undertaking. A three-day seminar with room, board, sometimes travel can cost thousands of dollars. This is a serious investment and a compelling reason to carefully investigate any LSGAT seminar before registering. Trainers are usually not professionally trained therapists. Because these seminars often drudge up very painful and traumatic past experiences, a trainer's competency or lack thereof is a serious issue. It's hard enough for professional therapists with years of qualified training and expertise to work one-on-one with a client to uncover psychological obstacles. At LSGAT seminars, untrained facilitators work simultaneously with hundreds of people. For the vulnerable participant, this unnerving experience can even be more painful than a private therapy session, because an intimate traumatic event is publicly shared with a large group of strangers. The training of the LSGAT seminar's trainers is not regulated, accredited, or supervised by any outside professional organization. As a result, there's no quality control over who will lead a mass therapy seminar. Some LSGAT seminars engage participants in exercises that can be humiliating and traumatic. Unfortunately, it is impossible to know this in advance since many LSGAT seminars organizations maintain secrecy about what takes place at their programs. One of the trainers' many jobs is to encourage participants to register for follow-up programs. Inevitably, any contact that trainers have with the participants after the seminar is over will focus on pressuring them to attend the invaluable next level or advanced program rather than inquiring about the participant's progress. This behavior exposes the group's true priorities and should be a red flag. People who have attended LSGAT seminars are not only squeezed to attend very expensive follow-up programs, they are also pressured to recruit their friends and families to experience just what they have experienced. An even greater concern is that some groups not only push participants to recruit new members, they also cajole, convince, or manipulate them to volunteer dozens of hours each week to assist in the group's offices and also staff their weekend retreats. In some cases, participants became virtual slaves to the organization and subsequently neglect their own personal responsibilities and relationships. There is a tendency in LSGAT seminars to foster a sense of dependency on their programs. The message constantly conveyed is that only this organization has the keys to access personal insight and transformation. Rather than genuinely liberating people, the group's single-minded focus is to have people return again and again. Marriages and relationships have been disrupted when one person gets deeply involved in the LSGAT seminars culture and their significant other remains skeptical or resents all the time and money invested in the programs. Another serious concern involves the actual teachings of the group and their theoretical foundations. Some doctrines are based on questionable psychological principles, while others are rooted in spiritual concept from non-Jewish religions at variance with Judaism. Often LSGAT seminars are held over Shabbat and this presents a myriad of problems for those who observe the Sabbath. Finally, there are two seminal questions. Are large group awareness training seminars truly effective in bringing about personal transformation? Secondly, can this goal be achieved through other approaches with virtually no downside? Real change takes years and years of work. We must remain skeptical about any organizations, programs or seminars that promise to change our life over the course of a few weekends and insist that we constantly return to their increasingly expensive, advanced courses to actualize their programs potential. There are numerous accredited life coaches or therapists who can help us achieve our personal goals and what's more, they don't have a world of controversy surrounding them. As well, Judaism has a wellspring of profoundly deep and effective teachings for personal growth that have passed the test of time. For example, the dozens of books on self-esteem, personal growth and spirituality by Rabbi Abraham J. Tversky M.D. So, who is vulnerable to cults? Anyone can be vulnerable to cult recoupment at certain times in his or her life. People never really join a cult. They get recruited into them. Whenever manipulative, deceptive and high pressure recruitment techniques are brought to bear vulnerable at-risk people, there is a good chance they can be successfully recruited. Vulnerability is usually the result of a life crisis or major transition. Oftentimes, people who get involved with cults have gone through a severe change or trauma that has disrupted their equilibrium during the year prior to their recruitment. The following situations can render any one of us vulnerable. Going to a new school. First-year students at colleges and universities are particularly vulnerable. Moving to a new city or country. International students at universities are very vulnerable. A death in the family. Divorce. Breakup of a relationship. Loss of a job. A health crisis. The elderly facing their mortality. Adolescents individuating from their families. Exam time at school. During finals, some cult recruiters hang out in libraries or near the student counseling offices. People who are lonely. Depressed. Anxious. Recent traumatic experience. Car accident. Failing a course. Sexual attack. Mugging. Fire. Flood. Loss of home and belongings. People with excessive worries. Cults exaggerate our worries and fears and then present their group as the only solution to our problems. People can be worried about illness, pandemics, environmental crisis, nuclear war, crime, economic collapse, terrorism, identity theft, bullying, death. As well, people can feel guilty over personal failure, letting someone down, having an abortion, cheating on a spouse or double crossing a friend. Also vulnerable to cult recruitment are people who are seekers and remain unfulfilled by conventional religions because they have not yet found meaning and purpose in life. People with difficulty, tolerating ambiguity and look for absolute black and white answers and ultimate simple truth to explain life's complexities. Cults provide a clear structure in an alienating and uncertain world. Individuals who are highly idealistic and believe they can change the world. People who are disillusioned and feel that the government or the system is not working properly. Cults present the answer to solve all the problems that plague us. People who engage in magical thinking or are prone to seeing conspiracies everywhere. People with low self-esteem. By becoming part of a movement greater than themselves, they can feel a sense of importance. People who lack a loving and supportive home life and meaningful friendships. People who come from an overly protective family that inhibited independence. Cults provide the ability to break away and individuate. People who come from families that had rigid and unrealistic expectations for their children. Those who felt as children that they could never please their parents. People who have had a hard time finding themselves and establishing meaningful relationships. People who lack critical thinking skills are gullible, naive, not street smart and can't easily spot a scam. People who are unfamiliar with the manipulative techniques of cults. Individuals who feel a sense of invincibility and believe they can never be recruited. The factors that can render someone vulnerable to cult recruitment can affect all of us at some point in our lives regardless of our presumed invincibility. These times of unexpected stress and confusion lead to a loss of ability to think critically and therefore the risk of being manipulated into a destructive organization is very high. What about the harm that cults can cause? Of those who joined cults and subsequently left, 51% report their experience was extremely damaging and even years after leaving some still feel traumatized. Some of the harmful effects of being in a cult include loss of free will, loss of control over one's life, disintegration of family and other important relationships, loss of many productive years of life, difficulty entrusting others and developing intimate relationships, problems thinking independently, thought processes become very rigid with reduced use of irony and abstract thinking. Being used as a slave by the cult, financial loss and suffering, huge amounts of money given to the group, hallucinations, panic attacks, guilt feelings, identity confusion, paranoia, in more extreme groups suicidal tendency and health deterioration, physical and sexual abuse in the group, criminal behavior, murder, suicide, gun running, drugs, fraudulent activities, anger with oneself for being sucked into the cult, reluctance to join legitimate organizations or religions. Obviously less extreme groups will exert less dramatic damage on its members. If someone is going to invest considerable time and money in an organization it makes solid sense to look both ways before crossing the street. Using a simple internet search, the wary discerning consumer can easily uncover the controversies surrounding an organization and discover other places where the same potential benefits are readily available without the baggage. Let's talk about the recruitment process of cults. People are usually recruited into cults between the ages of 17 and 35 and frequently by a friend or family member. Of course older people can also be drawn into a cult and sometimes the recruiter may be a stranger. In our virtual world the internet can easily become a person's initial contact with one or many of these groups. In most cases people are not aware that they are being manipulated into a cult because they are kept in the dark throughout the process. When manipulative techniques are brought to bear on vulnerable men and women at a susceptible time in their lives they can be successfully recruited regardless of their academic or professional achievements. When experiencing extreme stress or personal transition their guard can be down and their critical thinking skills not functioning at peak levels. In the initial phases of recruitment the group rarely provides full disclosure about its nature agenda and goals. Cults sometimes use innocuous front names. Recruiters meet people at reputable social programs or educational facilities and skillfully use these one-on-one opportunities to learn about potential members. Armed with this personal information recruiters can now build the necessary rapport and frame the cult's goals in terms that satisfy the interests and needs of their unsuspecting targets. Soon recruiters will ask these people to attend a second group function by making small requests that seem innocent. The recruiters begin to weave the inevitable web. The targeted person begins to make small commitments in line with the cult's agenda including small investments in time and or money. Eventually these first round steps pave the road and allow the cult to cement a more encompassing and intense commitment. Spending time at the cult's programs exposes potential recruits to a growing vortex of sophisticated influence tactics. Now people are on cult turf far away from their own environment. Recruits can be love bombed as so many members overwhelm them with constant attention and sweet talking compliments. Sometimes recruiters of the opposite sex will even flirt with them to plant the hope of a romantic relationship. Amid all this emotional stroking the recruits equilibrium becomes disturbed and off-kilter in a new unfamiliar situation not knowing anyone except the person who brought them to the program the recruit assumes the natural tendency to follow the lead of others and conform to the surrounding group think. When everyone else in the group exhibits an absolute certainty about the cult's ideology these hapless people begin to doubt their own convictions. As they are drawn further and further into the group's web of influence they may be introduced to more senior or seasoned members who begin to enhance the status of the leader or paint the goals of the cult with compelling strokes. Sometimes recruits can encounter unfamiliar jargon concepts or ideas that destabilize them with feelings of ineptitude. To alleviate this stress people are provoked to keep on conforming and playing by the rules. At the same time their many questions remain unanswered deflected or put off to a vague future date. The process now revolves around getting recruits to spend much more time with the group become involved with as many programs and frequently volunteer. This intensification of activity allows the group to assert much more influence and control in their recruits everyday lives. When they are busily occupied with the goings on of the cult they have less time and inclination to reflect and critically evaluate their involvement. Slowly the person begins to spend less time with family friends and acquaintances. Most cults know the negative comments that the recruits will encounter from these concerned and caring individuals. Soon a veteran cult member will discuss their predictable critiques and diffuse them by explaining why they are only misunderstandings or the unfortunate prejudices of those who aren't in the know. In the future when the recruit will hear these charges from loved ones ironically the cult gains credibility after all the group actually predicted the exact criticism that would come from these unenlightened outsiders. As cult members continue to solidify a recruits conformity and loyalty they begin to foster dependency upon the group. The outside world is seen as a place where there is no real truth no potential for happiness and fulfillment. The group becomes the only place where one can always feel embraced and experience unique spiritual growth alongside peers in the know. While recruits are undergoing the process of consolidating their loyalty to the group they are unaware that they're now entrapped in a carefully orchestrated program. The process is slow insidious and dangerous people never join cults with their fully informed consent. The bonding process resembles the activities required to download a new program on your computer. The screen asks you to read the terms and conditions that allow you to use the application hardly anyone including me ever reads the three or more pages of small print we just hit the next icon and the next icon repeatedly and mindlessly until we hit the finish icon and so it is when well-meaning vulnerable men and women unthinkingly proceed down the path set out for them by the cult understanding the dynamics of influence persuasion and manipulation of cults most certainly it's difficult to imagine how people can manipulate us to believe in things and behave in ways that we would ordinarily never do most of us feel we are firmly behind the control panel of our lives however researchers in the field of influence have revealed that manipulators subvert and exploit the very tools that we assume give us greater control over our lives these tricky tactics are not only used by cult recruiters we also encounter them in our everyday lives in very innocuous settings such as sales people telemarketers ever present advertising politicians seeking our votes and much more we don't generally appreciate the complexity of our world and the difficulty in navigating it on a daily or even hourly basis we are bombarded with thousands of pieces of information all clamoring for immediate attention to make a simple purchase we are confronted with overwhelming choices to read a truth laced article in the media we must wade through interminable online news reports opinions from the experts facts that remain unchecked and more without question we are facing an often drowning in an incessant information overload from which we cannot escape to make our lives easier we rely on numerous mental shortcuts to streamline our activities and decision-making processes pilots who fly jet airliners use autopilot an extremely useful computer program designed to facilitate their work even though this automatic pilot can virtually take off fly and accurately land the plane on its own pilots do not totally rely on this device and never leave the cockpit to watch the movies with the passengers we know that computers crash whether conditions change from initial data input and programs get hacked although autopilot is extremely helpful nevertheless pilots must always watch the program and the plane's operation very carefully similarly the mental shortcuts we use are very handy however we must use them carefully because others can hack into them and use them against us when we first learned to read it was a very very slow process one word at a time if we maintained that speed we'd spend weeks reading one newspaper article therefore as we gained reading skills and experience we become familiar with words and texts that we frequently see after several encounters we store them in our hard drive we no longer need to read each passage word by word when we access our memory drive we dramatically increase the speed at which we can recognize text however reading on automatic pilot can be easily exploited we've each seen this sign hundreds of times if we're driving along the highway at top speed we'll barely differentiate the words as we whirl by however if someone asked us what the sign said we confidently assert of course it says please keep off the grass but we'd be wrong social scientists have discovered that there are six behavioral tendencies that influence our social interactions these tendencies become personal trends because they're so useful and therefore we come to rely upon them as types of automatic pilot of course the downside to relying on these patterns is that they can easily be exploited it is vital to remember that because these mechanisms have been so deeply incorporated into our personalities we don't even notice when they've been hijacked for the benefit of others reciprocation the rule that obligates us to give to those who give to us is so pervasive that the normal functioning of societies relies on it obviously reciprocation is a social dynamic that is both practical and makes sense it's part of the glue that binds and cements close relationships and it certainly makes sense for good neighbors although the social rule has remained sacred there exist many counterfeit versions that masquerade is true reciprocation normally reciprocation applies to authentic relationship among people but today many companies are hijacking this dynamic they generously distribute free samples to invoke the recipient's sense of obligation and guilt thereby coercing them into purchasing their products this marketing approach is clearly manipulative we must understand that for reciprocation to work effectively a person does not have to receive something of real value just the act of receiving prompts the obligation to repay the debt fundraisers for example often include in their mailings a trinket or token gift with no monetary value nevertheless studies reveal that this successful tactic results in increased donations by triggering the reciprocation reflex moreover the principle of reciprocation does not even require that we receive something tangible because we naturally feel a sense of indebtedness to those who make concessions to us under normal circumstances and in real relationships this makes sense unfortunately the mechanism of reciprocation is hardwired into our brains and can easily be hacked by unscrupulous people who secure the correct passwords for example influence of expert Robert Cialdini and his colleagues conducted an experiment in which they randomly asked pastors by if they would volunteer to chaperone juvenile detention center inmates on a day trip to the zoo for many this was not an appealing idea and only 17 percent of respondents agreed to do so another random sample of pastors by was asked if they would serve as unpaid volunteers for the youth detention center for two hours per week over the next two years understandably no one agreed then Cialdini and his associates asked them well if you won't do that would you be willing to chaperone a group of inmates from this center on a day trip to the zoo although only 17 percent of the first group were willing to comply when this same request was presented in place of the more onerous long-term assignment 50 percent of the respondents complied commitment and consistency if every time we were about to do something we stopped in our tracks to thoroughly evaluate the pros and cons we'd never get anything done therefore we rely on our past experiences and simply do as we've done before this tendency is reflected in our desire to behave consistently and appear in sync with our previous actions and public positions furthermore we tend not to give as much respect to people who continually change their opinion an excellent example of how the rule of commitment and consistency can be very helpful was evidenced in the clever way a Chicago restaurant dealt with the common yet troubling problem of people who make reservations don't show up and don't call to cancel when taking phone reservations the receptionist changed only two words while conversing with patrons the number of people who didn't show and didn't call to cancel dropped immediately from 30 percent to 10 percent instead of saying please call if you have to change your plans the receptionist now asked will you please call if you have to change your plans and waited until the patrons agreed to do so once they made that public commitment they were far more likely to conduct themselves in a manner consistent with it our culture values personal consistency is a useful rule of thumb consequently we run the risk of mindlessly craving consistency when it's not even the reasonable course to follow often manipulators finagle our agreement to make a small commitment that won't cost you anything this small breach paves the way for them to eventually extract a significant commitments that we would ordinarily never make in a california neighborhood a researcher posing as a community volunteer went door to door asking homeowners to allow a large public service billboard to be placed on their front lawns urging people to drive carefully of course 80 of those surveyed refused two weeks earlier another group of homeowners was asked to place a three inch square sticker in their window urging people to be safe drivers when the researcher pulled this group she reported that almost everyone agreed because her request was so insignificant however when she later approached this group to ask them to place the large billboard on their front lawns 76% agreed their desire to act consistently with their prior behavior drove them to make a commitment that the first group considered to be entirely unreasonable social validation in situations where we don't know what to do it's perfectly reasonable to take our cue from others around us for example we're at a wedding where the customs are unlike anything we've ever experienced we feel uncomfortable and fear will do something embarrassing prior research would have been a good idea but few of us do that for now we must remain attentive to what other people are doing and just follow along although this tactic makes sense and can serve us well it's far too easy to mindlessly utilize it and in so doing become exploited by people seeking to manipulate us for example people laugh more frequently when television shows use canned laughter and rate them as funnier than the same show without the artificial giggles and chuckles people react as if the show must really be funny since many other people are laughing in truth no live people are laughing and the joke is on them since they have been manipulated so easily sadly there are countless ways in which our tendency to rely on others to show us how to behave can be utilized against our own best interests advertisers often stage phony endorsements to persuade us to jump on their cool bandwagon because everybody's doing it cults routinely employ peer pressure to get recruits to comply with their beliefs and practices liking there are so many people in our lives who are always competing for our attention and want our positive responses to all their requests how do we determine who to seriously consider and whom to ignore a reliable screening tool is to determine how much we like these people and how meaningful is our connection with them because this straightforward dynamic makes a lot of sense we tend to say yes to those people we trust admire and share affection manipulators seek to exploit this tendency and have myriad ways to make us feel a sense of rapport with them these air sats connections are carefully cultivated to extract our affection and cooperation it's critical that we understand the crafty ways in which these people are able to get us to like them some of their techniques are simple such as frequently using a person's name in conversation or giving compliments but these ploys must be wielded subtly to ensure people don't get turned off creating a sense of similarity can also stimulate rapport salespeople and cult recruiters always search for things or interests they have in common with their targets and may even fabricate connections to lubricate their persuasive agenda you're into cross-country skiing me too hey that's great i'm going next weekend and to cultivate rapport more seasoned influence purveyors often employ more sophisticated technologies such as nlp neuro linguistic programming and mirror body posture voice and breathing to create a sense of familiarity they may even access eye movements to determine if a person's primary sense is visual auditory or kinesthetic if you're an eye person they'll speak to your eyes rather than your ears do you see what i mean rather than do you hear what i'm saying authority all the mental shortcuts we employ to navigate our complicated world are extremely useful and make perfect sense in fact going through life without them would be like flying a plane without an autopilot sadly our problems begin when we mindlessly rely on our trusty rules of behavior and never bother to check if perhaps the autopilot should be disengaged for a particular period of time it makes good sense to teach our children that if they ever get lost or need help they should approach a police officer never a stranger on the street if we want to ensure that the house we're about to purchase has no major problems we'd be wise to hire a professional home inspector if we're confused about the treatment for a persistent health problem we must contact our family doctor or medical specialist because we're only human and can't know everything seeking the advice of experts is our only recourse mind saboteurs can deftly exploit our reliance on authorities by feigning expertise and posing as credible sources of knowledge all too often we are blindsided by people flashing symbols of authority to gain our compliance men and women appear on television in pristine white lab coats hocking diet supplements and other miracle cures advertisers bank on the impact of a celebrity's endorsement to promote their product or service we know that the opinions of a glamorous movie star supermodel or athlete carry no genuine relevance but as symbols of status and gravitas many people take them seriously unscrupulous promoters attempt to lend credibility to their inept spokespeople by having them spout a lot of jargon or deceptively call themselves doctors there have been instances where individuals have performed fake miracles to gain people's trust and loyalty scam artists who offer seminars on developing psychic ability demonstrate that they can read minds or predict the future of course these people have no real powers but all they need to do is to create the impression that they do to see how this might be done follow these instructions think of any number between one and nine multiply that number by nine if you have a two-digit number add the two digits together think of the number you now have and subtract five now give your number a letter equivalent so one is a two is b three is c four is d and so on with the letter you now have in your mind think of the first country that begins with that letter as you think of that country identify the second letter in the country's name while you focus on that letter think of an land animal whose name begins with that letter try to visualize that animal in your mind's eye and think of the color normally associated with that animal by the way are you thinking of a gray elephant from Denmark this is a relatively simple party trick but manipulators can employ sophisticated magical illusions or other miracles to create the impression that they possess special powers when we confer credibility to people we must always remain on guard to ensure that our assumptions are real and not based on the facade scarcity Robert Sheldini relates an amazing story about a jewelry store in Arizona that couldn't sell any of its recently acquired turquoise gems the owner had to go out of town for a few days and left the store manager a note asking him to price the entire selection at half when she returned to her shock she discovered that all the turquoise had been sold what happened the manager misread the note and doubled all the prices the explanation of this counterintuitive event is based on a distinct mental shortcut that people commonly use most of the tourists who frequent the store are not experts in the quality of jewelry therefore they rely on the assumption that if something is expensive it must be of high quality at the regular price the turquoise gems didn't move but at double the price they jumped off the shelves similarly we often assume and rightly so that the more rare something is the more valuable it is there is another factor at play in our inclination to value things or opportunities that appear to be scarce people don't like to lose their options and the ability to make their own choices when we fear that something may no longer be available its value and desirability increases savvy advertisers warn us supplies are limited or a special limited time offer cults often play on this dynamic they claim to possess secret knowledge unavailable to those outside the group or profess to be very selective about those allowed entry into their inner circles we rely on these kinds of mental shortcuts because they make sense prove themselves in the field and are extremely useful however by always relying on our autopilots we tend to use them indiscriminately we're not concerned that wily people with their own agendas want to exploit our reliance on them for their own ends as they deftly tap into our habitual decision-making patterns they fly under our radar like mental judo they use our thought processes against us unfortunately we are unaware that we are being manipulated warning signs of cultic involvement the following signs are often observable when someone has become involved in a destructive cult group a sudden and dramatic personality change such as the loss of a sense of humor difficulties with marriage roommates and other relationships withdrawing from friends and family committing tremendous amounts of time and or financial resources to a group to the exclusion of previous interests obsession with promoting the group its ideology and agenda growing dependency on the group difficulty thinking independently or critically being secretive about their own activities and vague or defensive about the group a sudden and consuming interest in issues such as sin personal purity dangers to global survival knowing god overcoming stress personal growth and claiming that only their group has all the answers it is important to remember that not all of these signs will be evident with involvement in some more benign manipulative cult groups these signs will be more difficult to detect what not to do when a loved one is involved with a cult number one don't panic don't rush to intervene before careful thought research and planning you may not get another chance to help avoid an emotional overreaction don't antagonize by accusing your loved one of being in a cult or being brainwashed don't criticize or demean the group or its leaders don't argue about the group or try to debunk the group's practices and beliefs don't reject or disengage emotionally even though you feel your loved one is pulling away from you don't let your relationship grow cold or deteriorate don't send your loved ones to any articles or websites critical of his or her particular group or about cults in general don't ask your loved ones to speak to a rabbi or psychologist who has no experience in dealing with people involved in cults don't underestimate the potential harm that can result from being in a cult don't assume cult involvement is just a fleeting interest that's not very serious don't feel guilty or at fault don't feel alone there are many others facing similar situation don't try dealing with it alone seek out resources to help you don't give up hope in the possibility of recovery from a cult regardless of how destructive it is and how long your loved one has been involved never give up so what should families do it is imperative that you seek highly skilled guidance and work with someone who has extensive experience dealing with cult affected families make sure that you carefully check all their references and credentials in the immensely difficult process of rescuing people from cults the critical role of families and close friends cannot be overstated the primal nature of these lifelong relationships is deeper and more genuine than the manipulative and orchestrated web of control constructed by the cult therefore it is essential to keep focused on your relationship and to invest heavily in strengthening it strive to keep open all lines of communication without being overbearing try to have regular contact preferably in person otherwise by phone or email even if they are not very responsive keep up your end of the relationship work on building trust and rapport express sincere love and reinforce the positive connections you already have be creative in fostering more closeness in your relationships reminisce about great experiences you shared in the past to help them connect with their pre cult life send an old photograph or poem they once wrote that might mean something to them offer to take them on a trip they would enjoy greatly do not arouse suspicion by coming on too strongly in situations where the relationship has seriously deteriorated consider working with a highly skilled family therapist practice non-judgmental active listening ask open-ended questions that allow them to share what they see as positive about their involvement in the group expressing curiosity about the group and their experiences in it builds rapport and models intellectual openness and rationality at the appropriate time you will want to encourage them to willingly explore things outside their comfort zone by objectively examining their cult involvement try to elicit information about the cult and their involvement without sounding as if you're prying or interrogating them in these discussions it is helpful to determine how deeply they're involved how they currently process information and how they think critically whereas they will eat they will eagerly share glowing reports about the group it's unlikely they will share their doubts or concerns about their involvement model critical thinking and problem-solving behavior to stimulate these skills in the cult affected person this can be accomplished by referring to and discussing situations that occurred in their lives or in the news over the previous week seeking their input or advice on a personal or family issue can be a good way to build rapport and encourage them to think independently positively reinforce and gently encourage any non-cult related interests or activities keep a journal of the information you discover about the cult and any important details about your loved one these materials will be important for any professional therapist you may eventually consult learn as much as you can about the specific cult the general topic of cultic influence and the process of helping people reevaluate their involvement in a controlling group realize that the process of encouraging someone to rethink his or her commitment to a cult can be long and arduous resist the urge to rush the process or to prematurely arrange for someone to meet with your loved one even if this person is highly qualified a successful intervention or exit counseling requires thorough preparation make sure you take care of your own physical and spiritual needs you will not function at the high level necessary to help someone else if you become physically run down emotionally drained or spiritually deflated try to use this crisis as a catalyst for your own personal and spiritual growth prayer is a powerful resource consider taking some time to pray in your own words each day for the person involved in the cult cultivating cult evading nuypester once said fortune favors the mind that's prepared preventive medicine is certainly no guarantee that illness will never occur but it certainly increases the likelihood of remaining healthy similarly there are many ways we can help build a sturdy personal foundation from an early age to minimize the chances of being manipulated and controlled raise children in loving and supportive families with close relationships and open communication encourage children to develop a group of appropriate close friends and to invest in these relationships ensure that children grow up with a healthy sense of self-esteem help children develop critical thinking skills and become street smart foster a healthy use of digital media at the appropriate age explain the principles of persuasion and manipulation and the ways they are used by everyone from salespeople to cult recruiters encourage children to discover and develop their personal skills and strengths model and teach healthy values attitudes and personal ethics make the home a place where Judaism is experienced as a rich and joyful spiritual path help nurture and find a way to channel children's innate sense of idealism and community responsibility help children develop effective coping skills for managing stress and tolerating the ambiguities in life a closing thought the Talmud asks who is wise the one who can foresee what will ultimately transpire throughout our lives many doors will open for us we will meet many people and we'll have to choose which ones to form relationships with many opportunities and experiences will become available to us and we will have to choose which paths to pursue our lives are precious and our time is limited we all have our unique potential to actualize we must be open to new people and opportunities but we must also use our powers of discernment and choose wisely our families and close friends truly desire what is best for us and have our interests in mind there are others with their own agendas who seek to use us for their own ends we hope this video will help you navigate the road ahead more safely i'd like to end with this quote from genie mills former member of the people's temple when you meet the friendliest people you have ever known who introduce you to the most loving group of people you've ever encountered and you find the leader to be the most inspired caring compassionate and understanding person you've ever met and then you learn the cause of the group is something you never dared hope could be accomplished and all this sounds too good to be true it probably is too good to be true don't give up your education your hopes and ambitions to follow rainbow