 All right, let's give my little nubbin' here a throne so they can be more comfortable. Hello there, my beautiful, lovely internet friends. Welcome back to my channel. You know what? I get my hair out of the way. Disabled is not a bad word, but you know what is? The words I'm about to tell you in the order that they are about to be told to you in. There are certain phrases that are said about disability, specifically visibly disabled people. Then I'll be totally honest, I just wanna burn. I'm all for free speech, say whatever you wanna say, except not these things. These things you shouldn't say. I wanna make it really clear at the start of this video that I do not speak for the disabled community. Also, if you use these phrases and they do good things for you, fantastic. I just felt like ranting, inventing a little bit because I've seen these way too often. So without further ado, welcome to Joe's list of phrases that should be eliminated off the face of the planet, specifically when it comes to being a disabled person. There are kind of these fallback phrases that a lot of media campaigns will run, or people will say as you walk by them or going to the gym or whatever, and that brings me to my very first one. What's your excuse? All right, so picture it. I am lifting weights at the gym. I got up, I brushed my hair, maybe. I put my leg on and I drove to the gym to lift heavy things. Not that heavy, but we're working on it. If I, disabled person that I am, can do that. Why can't you, huh? You got stuff going on? This is one that I feel like might be a little bit controversial because I know people in my community, I know people who, friends of mine who will use this in post captions or videos. And if that works for you, genuinely fantastic. This is just a personal pet peeve of mine. I really hate this idea of, if someone who is disabled can do it, why can't you? The reality is there's like a million reasons why someone might not be able to. And also the idea that like, because I'm doing something, you therefore have some obligation, or I removed your excuse not to do it because I can overcome my limitations. Why can't you face yours? I think it almost puts disability, like visible physical disability at the top of this pyramid of struggle when in reality the things that people struggle with are pretty extensive, pretty wide and oftentimes pretty intense. Yes, I am missing a leg by no means is that the most difficult thing that I've ever gone through in my life. And we sort of objectify disability and use it as a tool to motivate other people to do things. And that just doesn't sit right with me because it kind of boils disabled people down to being inspiration for someone else to do something, which if it works again, okay. I just don't like it. Phrase number two, look at you. Look at you getting out and doing things. So I recently moved to a new neighborhood. My neighbors are lovely people. I like them a whole lot. Everyone says stuff that maybe they don't know is gonna come across the wrong way. No animosity here, but I went for a bike ride last night and as I was biking past my neighbors, they were like, look at you. Look at you getting out and doing things. I would say that some combination of look at you followed by whatever it is that I'm doing is probably one of the more common things that strangers will say to me. And it comes from a place of like positivity and being impressed and like, wow, that's really cool. I didn't know the people who were amputees could do that. It comes across as so very patronizing because I am currently physically capable of getting on a bike and riding around my neighborhood when it's sunny and nice out. If you saw a two legged getting on a bike and riding, no one would be like, ooh, look at you. Bar is pretty low if you are physically disabled to impress other people by just going about normal life. I will say this with a caveat of, you know, if you know someone, you know they've been working up towards something or trying to do something or maybe I've wanted a bike for a long time my leg wouldn't work or I wasn't strong enough and now I can. I think that sort of affirmation makes a lot of sense because you know someone has a very specific struggle that they have overcome. But so often if you are using a wheelchair, if you're walking around with a prosthetic leg people are shocked that you are still living life. And while I will always thank that person because I know it's coming from a good place deep down I'm like, the bar is so low. Number three, and I really have a bone to pick with this phrase, don't let your disability define you. So often I have been congratulated on not allowing my disability to define my life when I am choosing to do things, right? But here's the thing, it kind of does. I mean like it's not the main point of my life. It is not core to my identity but the reality is that this will always dictate a significant percentage of most things in my life. Like as I operate in the world, as I move about my house, how I get up in the morning, whatever I do everything is very influenced by my disability. And there's this encouragement to look past that. And I find oftentimes when people are saying this they're kind of like congratulating you on being a normal person still. Good job. When the reality is I'm not an average person. I have physical disability. Cool, I'm gonna rock it. I'm still gonna do my life however I can. But when I am congratulated for not letting my disability stop me or something like that there's also this implication that I went snowboarding over the winter. It was amazing. It was such a cool experience. It was very challenging, but I got it, right? I mean people would be like, let your disability stop you from anything. That's fantastic. And what you're saying when you're saying that to some extent is that if someone is not doing that they're letting their disability stop them. When in reality there might be very real physical limitations that they shouldn't push. That their doctor is recommended against that they are not physically capable of. And for people who are not in the moment currently fulfilling the role of looking like an average person but with a prosthetic leg. There's a lot of pressure that these types of phrases generate because it's kind of this social line is don't let your disability stop. You don't let it define you. And so often that will lead to pushing boundaries that shouldn't be pushed. And I am a personal expert in this. Before I lost my leg, I spent many years of my life with a bum ankle, lots of surgeries, not a great situation. And I would push and I would push and I would push to prove to myself and other people that I wasn't gonna let that stop me. And in the process caused a lot of unnecessary pain and in some cases damage. If I had respected the boundaries of that body part of that disability, I would have been in a better place in my life. Respecting where your body is and understanding your limitations is not allowing your disability to define you. It's not allowing it to stop you. It's often just a really wise thing to do. Are you ready for this one guys? I'm ready. I'm ready to hulk out. The only disability in life is a bad attitude. I'm gonna keep this one short and sweet. No, it's not. False, sir. I'm gonna call false on that one. There are many types of disabilities and many that are much more serious than having a bad attitude. The idea that someone would equate having a bad attitude or having a bad day and being bitter about it on the same level as having a limb chopped off more than once, please don't. Nope, nope, don't do it. Also it gives so much power to the idea of positive thinking which aspects of I very much believe in but the way that our society talks about it as if it is this magic cure all pill for literally everything. Like the only thing you need is to be positive about absolutely everything you get in a very mentally unhealthy place. There are a lot of toxic elements of positive thinking and I think that this phrase plays just right into that. So no, the only disability in life is a lot of different kinds. Fifth and final phrase that I personally would like to eradicate, I can't imagine. I can't imagine living life that way. Understandable thing to say, right? And I do think that when people say this oftentimes they mean it as a compliment like way to go, being resourceful, being creative, figuring out a way to do, fill in the blank. But I think the immediate response I often have in my head is I didn't think I could do this either until I had to, right? Like I couldn't imagine it until I had to until I had to figure it out. If you're dealing with a disability you probably didn't ask for it. Like even this situation where I made the decision to have an amputation so that I could be more mobile so I could live a more a life I actually wanted to be a part of. This is not anything I would ever go back and choose in my life starting from scratch, right? Like for me personally, this is just me. If I could have two working meat legs again I absolutely would, that would be simpler. Okay, cool. That's not the way that our cards were handed out. I think another part of it is, is that we are really uncomfortable as a society with disabled people, with disability. But the tough reality is that it happens to people every day, all over the world. Generally very unpredictably, generally entirely unwanted and you can go from being able-bodied to permanently disabled like that. And I think that that honestly contributes to a lot of the discomfort that we have around disability because we don't wanna face the fact that it could happen to us at any time. That is a terrifying thought for a lot of people. And so this idea of I could never imagine, I don't want to imagine. Maybe I'm stretching this one a little bit far but I feel like it kind of indicates in the direction of like, nope, that's not my life. That's not gonna be my life when in reality it could be. I hope it's not. Like I certainly hope nothing ever happens where you have to face that imagination and it becomes reality. But I'm not sure that I've articulated this one very well. It just don't love it. Very smart way of saying that, Joe. On an emotional level too, I do think that we really underestimate ourselves. Like I could never imagine or I could never do that if I was in your shoes. I don't know if this is even worth mentioning but I kind of feel like it detracts from how resourceful human beings are. It's like if you were in that situation, probably you probably could, right? You probably could find a way to get through it. You could probably find resources that would take time, it would take grief, it would take a lot of things but you could get through it because you have to. So those are my top five. I'd say the one that makes me roll my eyes the most is the if I can do it, you can do it what's your excuse kind of thing. Just personal preference. Again, this is often said by disabled friends of mine and I'm like, cool, I just don't like it. Everything I have just discussed is my personal opinion and I do not speak for the larger community but I felt like being a little bit petty. Talking about phrases I don't love today. So thank you for sitting here and listening. Let me know what you think of any of these. Are you a disabled person and do you use or like some of these phrases? That's entirely possible. Let us know in the comment section down below. Everyone's experience is different. This is just my two cents. A huge thank you to all of my patrons over on Patreon and to you watching this video right now. Thank you so much for spending a few minutes out of your day. Here with me today, it could be anywhere else in the world doing anything else but you chose to hang out with me for a few minutes and I really appreciate that. I love you guys, I'm thinking about you and I'll see you in the next video. Bye guys.