 11. A sickness with Jimmy could not understand was indeed upon me, and unsteadily I leaned against the window frame, looking at, but not seeing him, and not until he spoke again did I remember I was not alone. 12. Is it very bad? You look as if it hurt so. Wait a minute, I'll get you some water. 13. I caught him as he started to run down the hall, and drew him back. 14. I don't want any water. I'm not sick. My head went up. The smell of paste would make me ill if I stayed, however, and I'm not going to stay today. I'll come some other time, run on and join the other boys. Tell your mother—I seemed groping for words—tell your mother I will see her before you start to school. 15. Run on, Jimmy, and thank Mr. Pritchard for lending you to me, and laugh as much as you want to, Jimmy. Laugh all you can before—you can't. Over the banister the child was leaning anxiously, watching me as I stumbled down the steps. At their foot I turned and waved my hand and laughed, an odd, faint, faraway laugh that seemed to come from someone else, and then I went into the street and found myself crossing it, impelled by surging impulse to know—to know what? At the foot of the rickety stairs leading to the high porch from which I had seen the girl come, I stopped. All I had been repressing, fighting, resisting for days past had in a moment yielded to horror, and heard that seemed past healing, and I was surrendering to what I should know was impossible. I must be mad. With a shudder that was half a sob, I turned away and walked down the street and into the one which would lead to Scarborough Square. As I walked my shoulders straightened, what was the matter with me? Was I becoming that which I loathed, a suspicious, spying person? I was insulting Selwyn. He knew I hated mystery, however. Knew the right of explanation was mine, knew that I expected of any man who was my friend that his life should be as open as my life. If I had hurt him, angered him by my question when I last saw him, he had hurt, had angered me far more. For now I was angry. Did he imagine I was a sort of woman who accepted reticence without resignation? I was not. At the corner Mr. Fogg was standing in the door of his little shop, holding a blue bottle up to the light and examining it with critical care. He had on his usual clothes of many colours, shabby for much wearing, but in his round, clean-shaven face, pink with health and inward cheer, with smiling serenity, and in his eyes a twinkle that yielded not to time or circumstance. His secondhand bookshelf, his cannery birds and white rabbits, his fox terriers and goldfish, are friends that never fail, and in them he has found content. His eagerness to chat occasionally with someone who cares, as he cares, for his beloved books is not at times to be resisted, but I was in no mood to talk to-day. I wondered if I could hurry by. Good morning. The blue bottle half filled with water, in which a tiny bulb was floating, was waved toward me, and a shaggy white head nodded at me. It's a fine day, ain't it? A fine day for snow, good and gray. I think we'll have some flakes before night. Kinda feel like a boy again when it's snowing. I don't know yet which season I like best. Everyone has got its glory. What have you been up to today, seeing some more things? I nodded. I wish I could come in, but I can't. I shivered, though I was not cold. I'm going uptown. A minute before I had no intention of going uptown, but to go indoors was suddenly impossible. Whatever was possessing me must be fought off alone. I will bring you my copy of men and nations tomorrow. Keep it as long as you wish. Thank you, ma'am. Thank you, hearty. I'll take good care of it. I suppose you haven't heard of the widow Rob. Her name's Patti, you know, and she's got a bow. He's named Cake. Luck plays tricks with love, don't it? Don't get caught in a snowstorm. You ain't- His voice was anxious. You ain't thinking of leaving us, are you? The girls down here are needing of you, needing sore. All of us are needing of you. I shook my head. Of course I'm not thinking of leaving you. I waved my hand in response to his wave of the bottle, and, not seeing where I went, I turned the corner, and head bent to keep out of my face the tiny particles of sleet and snow beginning to fall, walked for some distance before noticing where I was. Much of my city, unknown to me a short while ago, was now familiar, but to much I was still a stranger, and presently I was wondering concerning the occupants of the houses I was passing. The shabby gentility and dulled respectability of the latter was depressing, and to escape the radiation of their dreariness I turned into first one street and then another, and as I walked the girl with the boyish face walked with me, with the face with its haunted fear. She had held the baby as a frightened, and when she turned the corner she was running. She was so young. Could the baby be hers? It must be hers. Nothing but a mother face could have in it what hers had. Why was she afraid? And of what? The streets were becoming rough and unpaved before I noticed I was nearing the city limits, and, cutting across a field, I got into the avenue, toward the end of which was Selvon's house. As I neared it my steps slowed. For years the thorn property had been on the outskirts of the city, but progress had taken it in, and already houses, flagrantly modern and architecturally shameless, offered strong contrast to its perfect lines, its conscious dignity, its calm aloofness, and its stone walls which shielded it from gaping gaze and gave it privacy. The iron gates were closed, the shutters drawn, and from the place stillness that was oppressive radiated, a stillness that was ominous. Pride was undoubtedly Selvon's dominating characteristic. Pride, in his name, in its unstained honour in the heritage of his fathers. And in the presence of his house it seemed an ugly dream, the picture ever in my mind, the picture of Selvon walking slowly with a young girl in the dark up a winter afternoon in a section of the city as removed from his as sunlight as removed from shadow. In his nature was nothing that could make such association imaginable. If no higher deterrent prevented, pride would protect him from doubtful situations. He was sensitive to higher deterrents, however, as sensitive as I. Passing the gates on the stone columns of which the quaint old-fashioned lamps of formal days were still nightly lighted, I glanced through them at the snow-covered lawn and the square-built Lonely House, occupied now only by Selvon and his younger brother Harry, then again hurried on. The avenue with its great width and unbroken length, its crystal-coated trees and handsome houses was now deserted, safe for hurrying limousines and an occasional pedestrian. And safe in the fierceness of the snow from encounter with old friends, I decided to walk home through the section of the city which was the only part I once knew well and just as I decided, I knocked into someone turning a corner as I approached it. Oh, Miss Heath! The woman drew back. The snow was so thick I didn't see you. Did I hurt you? Not a bit. I wiped my face damp with melted flakes which had brushed it. What are you doing up here? You look as frozen as I feel. Have you got on over shows? The woman shook her head. I haven't got any. I wouldn't have come out, but I had to bring some work back to Mrs. Lemoyne. If she'd paid me, I'd have bought a pair of rubbers, but she didn't pay me. She said she'd let me have the money next week. Next week? You need it this minute. How much does she owe you? 475 for these last things and 425 for those I made last week. I don't know what I'm going to do. The woman's hands cold and stiff twisted nervously. I don't reckon she's ever had to think about rent or food or fuel or over shoes. People like that don't have to. I wish they did sometimes. So do I. Come on. It's too cold to stop. We'll go down to Benson's and get something hot to warm us up. I forgot about lunch. Turn your coat collar up. The snow is getting down your neck and take my muff. I've got pockets and you haven't. As we started off a large limousine with violets in the glass vases of its interior upholstered in fawn colored cloth stopped just ahead of us and the woman I did not now got out of it followed by one I knew well fur coats entirely covered their dresses and quickly the shopper opened an umbrella to protect their hats. As we passed I started to speak to Alice Herbert but turning her head she gave me not even a blink of recognition. At first I did not understand. Then I laughed. Who is that? Mrs. Beck's voice was odd. Ain't they grand? Do you know them? No. I put my hands in the pockets of my long coat. I used to know one of them, the feeble-minded one. We'd better go over to High Street and take a car to Benson's. The storm's getting worse. We'll have to hurry. The street lamps were being lighted as we reached Scarborough Square and at sight of the house in the doorway of which Mrs. Mundy was standing I hurried impelled by impulse beyond defining. Mrs. Beck had left me at the corner and as Mrs. Mundy closed the door behind me she followed me up the steps. I'd been that worried about you. I couldn't sit still long at a time and Bettina's been up three times to see that your fire was burning all right. I know you didn't have your umbrella or over shoes. It's a wonder you went for a stiff. I'll bring your tea right up. I've had tea. Thank you. I held out first one foot and then the other to the blazing coals and from the soles of my shoes came curling steam. It's a wonderful storm. I'd like to walk ten miles in it. I don't know why you were worried. I'm all right. I know you are but she poked the fire. But I wish you wouldn't go so hard for near two weeks you haven't stopped a minute. You can't stand going like that. I wish I had known where to find you. Mr. Tharn was here this afternoon. He was very anxious to see you. Mr. Who? I turned sharply then put my hands behind me to hide their sudden twisting. I was cold and tired and the only human being in all the world I wanted to see was Selwyn. It was intolerable, this tormenting something that was separating us. When was he here? I asked and leaned against the mantle. He came about three but he waited half an hour. He didn't say much but he was powerful put out about your not being home. He couldn't wait any longer as he had to catch a train. The 430 I think. Where was he going? I sat down in the big wing chair and the fingers of my hands interlaced. Did he say where he was going? He didn't mention the place. Just said he had to go away and might be gone some time. He'll write, I reckon. He was awful disappointed at not seeing you. He asked me. Mrs. Mundy on her knees unbuttoned my shoes and drew them off. Your feet are near but frozen and no wonder. Your stockings are wet clean through and I'm letting you sit here in them when I promised him I'd see you didn't kill yourself doing these very things. You just put your feet on the fender while I get some dry clothes. He says to me says he Mrs. Mundy the one human being she gives no thought to is herself and will you please take care of her? She don't understand. Oh, I do understand. My voice was virally protesting. The one thing men don't want women to do is to understand. They want us to be sweet and pretty and not understand. Salmon talks as if I were a child. I'm perfectly able to take care of myself. Maybe you are but you don't do it. Least ways, not always. I promised him I wouldn't let you wear yourself out and I promised him. What? That I wouldn't let you go too far. He says you have lost your patience with people especially women who think it's not their business to bother with things that that aren't nice and you are up to go to the other extreme and forget how people talk about some things. They don't talk enough. Did he leave any message for me? Again, Mrs. Mundy shook her head. I think he wanted to talk to you about something he couldn't send messages about. End of Chapter 11, Chapter 12 of People Like That. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. People Like That by Kate Langley-Bosher, Chapter 12. Selwyn has been gone two weeks. I've heard nothing from him. I do not even know where he is. Yesterday over the telephone Kitty reproached me indignantly for not coming oftener to see her. Each week I tried to take lunch or dinner with her but there have been weeks when I could not see her, when I could not get away. Scarborough Square and the Avenue are not mixable and just now Scarborough Square is taking all my time. Daily new demands are being made upon me, new opportunities opening, new friendships being formed and though my new friends are very interesting to me, I hardly think they would be to Kitty. I rarely speak of them to her. Miss Hardy, the woman labour inspector for the state, a girl who had worked in various factories since she was 12 and who had gotten her education at a night school, where often she fell asleep at her desk, I find both entertaining and instructing, but Kitty would not care for her. She wears spectacles and Kitty has an unyielding antipathy for women who wear spectacles. Neither would she care for Miss Bain, another state employee, a clever, capable woman who is an expert in her line. It is her business to discover feeble-mindedness to test school children and inmates of institutions to which they have been sent or of places to which they have gone because of incapacity or delinquency or sin of any sort and nothing I have read in books has been so revealing concerning conditions that exist as her frank statements simply told. In my sitting room at Scarborough Square, she comes infrequently for tea with me and meets their Fanny Harris, the teacher of an open-air school for the tuberculosis children of our neighborhood and Martha White, the district nurse for a particular section, meets Miss Hay, a probation officer of the juvenile court and Lulee Hall, a girl from the country who had once gone wrong and who is now trying to keep straight on five dollars a week made in the sewing room of one of the city's hospitals. Betty Flynn, who lives at the city home because of epileptic fits, also comes in occasionally. Betty is a friend of Mrs. Mundy. Owing to kindlessness and inability to care for herself, owing also to there being nowhere else to which she could go, she has been forced to enter the home. Her caustic comments on its management are of a clear-cut variety. Betty was born for a satirist and became an epileptic. The result, at times, is speech that is not guarded, a calling of things by names that are their own. These and various others who are facing, at short range, realities of which I have long been personally ignorant, are taking me into new worlds, pumping streams of new understandings, new outreaches into my brain and heart and life has become big and many-sided and a thing not to be wasted. Myself of the old life I'm seeing as I never saw before, seeing in a perspective that does not fill with pride. Last night I went to my first dinner party since aunt Matilda's death. In Kitty's car I watched with interest on the way to her house, the long stretches of dingy streets, then cleaner ones with their old and comfortable houses. The park with its bare trees and shrubs and finally the avenue with its smooth paving and pretentious homes, its serene course of luxurious make, its air of conscious smartness. As contrast to my present home, it interested greatly. Kitty's house is very beautiful. She is that rare person who knows she does not know and the house bought for her by her father as a wedding gift she had put in the hands of proper authorities for its furnishings. It is not that sort of home I would care to have but it is undeniably handsome and undoubtedly Kitty understands the art of entertaining. Her dinner party was rather a large one, its honor guest, an English writer whose books are unendurably dull but any sort of line is helpful in reducing social obligations and for that purpose Kitty had captured him. She insisted on my coming but begged me not to mention hard things like poor people and politics and babies who died from lack of intelligent care but to talk books. So few of the others talk books except novels and he thinks most modern novels rotten. She had told me over the telephone. So please come and splash out something about these foreign writers whose names I can't remember. Burgesson is one I believe and Brewer another and France Anna Anna something France he's a man and there is another one Mater yes that's it Materlink and listen where that white grape you wore at my wedding it's frightfully plain but all your other things are black. I don't see why you still wear black Aunt Matilda hated it as I went upstairs to take off my wraps I smiled at Kitty's instructions in a room she hastily kissed me do hurry and come down I'm so afraid he'll come before the others and I might have to talk to him literary people are the limit and this one they say is the worst kind really refuses to leave his room until you go down says he'd rather be sent to jail than left alone with him ten minutes he met him at the club holding me off she surveyed me critically you look very well that's a good-looking dress it suits you I believe you were pearls and these untrimmed things just to bring out your hair and eyes nobody but you could do it stopping her shot quick sentences she leaned forward there he is coming up the steps with Mr. Alexander come on they are inside we can go down now by the way she pinned the orchids at her waist with unnecessary attention Selvin got back yesterday he will be here tonight Dick Moran is sick and Selvin is taking this place at first he declined to come for weeks he's been going nowhere but he finally promised are you ready without looking around she went out of the room and without answering her I followed I was conscious chiefly of a desire to get away to do anything but meet Selvin where each would have to play a part but as I entered Kitty's drawing room and later met her guests I crowded back all else but what was due her spoke in turn to each and then to Selvin as if between us there was no terrifying unbridged Gulf Kitty's dinners are perfect I'm ever amazed at the care and consideration she gives to their ordering in art and letters she has not learned but she is an expert in the management of household affairs and her dinner invitations are rarely declined at the table with its lilacs and valley lilies it soft lights and perfect appointments were old friends of mine and new acquaintances of hers and with the guest of honor I shared their curiosity very skillfully kitty led the chatter into channels where the drought was light and obediently I did my best to follow there was much talk but no conversation oh Miss Heath a young girl opposite me leaned forward I've been so crazy to meet here someone told me to get gone in for slums it must be so entrancing I looked up for a second Selvin's eyes held mine and we both smiled but before I could speak kitty's lion turned toward me yes I heard that too fixing his black rimmed glasses more firmly on his big and bulging nose mr. Garroth looked at me closely in my country slumming has become a fad with a a certain type of restless women who have to make their living I suppose but I wouldn't fancy you were she isn't jack pebbles now happily married blinked in my direction signaled me to say nothing then turned to the Englishman Miss Heath can do as she chooses being Miss Heath but the Turks are right women ought to be kept behind lattice windows given a loot and supplied with veils and as they ask for anything else they should be taken from the window I don't agree with you mr. Garrett filled his fork with mushrooms and raced it to his mouth the Turks carry their restraint too far women should have more liberty than is given them in Turkey they add color to life add to its uncertainties Selvin made effort to control the smile the others found uncontrollable in your country now the woman question is interesting exciting there they do things smash things make a noise keep you guessing over here their behavior is much less entertaining their attitude is one of investigation as well as demand they have developed an unreasonable desire to know things know why they are as they are why they should continue to be what they have been they are preparing themselves by first-hand knowledge and information to tell what most of us do not want to hear Selvin's eyes again for a moment held mine and in my face I felt hot color creeping never before had he defended even with satire what he had told me a hundred times his folly on my part he turned to mr. Garrett why on earth perfectly comfortable supposedly Christian human beings should want personally to know anything about uncomfortable unfit underpaid ones oh but I think they ought to again the pretty little creature and green chiffon nodded toward me but you won't let miss heat have a chance to say anything someone told me such clear people came to see her factory girls and working women and oh all sorts of people like that is it really so received very interesting people come to see me they're undoubtedly of different sorts but what of the illuminating discoveries of life is that human beings are amazingly alike veneering is a great help of course if you knew my friends you would find I'd love to know them I always have liked to create people I've been crazy to come and see you but mother won't let I mean miss Henderson says she met a young man when she went to see you who was the cleverest person she ever talked to gentle Annie gains was venturing to come to my help he seemed to know something of everything she couldn't remember his name it's difficult to remember he's a Russian Jew Scriosky is his name at the head of the table I felt kitty squirm knew she was twisting her feet in fear and indignation I turned to her English guest I have another friend who will be so glad to know I have met you mr. Garrett he's one of your most intelligent and intense admirers he has read I think everything you've written absorbed in a salad evidently new and to his liking mr. Garrett was not impressed by or appreciative of my attempt to follow kitty's instructions with any reservations of my bad taste in talking shop I would have agreed still something was do kitty he tells me I refuse to be ignored that he keeps an advanced order for everything you write buys your books as soon as they are published bicep with the only quick movement he had made mr. Garrett turned to me I'd like to meet him I'm glad to know there's somebody in America who buys and reads my books usually those who buy don't read and those who read don't buy but tell me again the corners of his mouth drooped and again his spectacles were adjusted why did you go in for for living in a rundown place and meeting such odds and ends as to say you meet you're not old enough for things of that kind an ugly woman uninteresting and provided for she might take them up he stared at me as a for physical explanation of unreasonable peculiarities you believe I fancy that a woman is capable of deciding for herself what she wants to do again jack people's near-sighted eyes blinked at me but in his voice there was no longer shuffling she believes even more remarkable things than that believes if people all sorts knew one another better understood one another better there would be less injustice less indifference and greater friendship and regard rather an uncomfortable creed for those who don't want to know who prefer but you don't expect all greats of people to be friends surely you don't expect I smiled no I don't expect so far I'm only hoping all people may someday be friendly kitty was signaling frantically with her eyes and it obedience I again performed as requested for the third time turned to mr. Garrett I heard a most interesting discussion the other day concerning certain present day French writers I wonder if you agree with Bernard Shaw that Braille is the greatest dramatist since more year or if I never agree with Bernard Shaw mr. Garrett frowned and taking up his wine glass drained it putting it down he again stared at me I don't understand you you don't look at all as I imagined you would at the foot of the table Billy was insisting upon the superiority of the links of the Hawthorne to those of the sx club and kitty at her end was giving a lively account of a wedding party she had come across at the station the evening before when seeing a friend off for her annual trips out and at first one and then the other mr. Garrett looked as if not comprehending why when he wished to speak there should be chatter later when again we were in the drawing room he continued to I mean speculatively but he was permitted no opportunity to add to his inquiries and when at last he was gone kitty sat down limp and worn at the strange she had been forced to end your what business is it of his how you live and what you do she said indignantly he's an old teapot but you see now what I mean I'm always having to explain you to tell don't do it I'll forgive much but not explaining your line doesn't draw well still align is worth seeing once I turn to sell one I beg your pardon did you speak to me I asked if I could take you to Scarborough Square I have a taxi here thank you but I'm spending the night with kitty I'm not going back in astonishment kitty looked at me then turned away I had told her I could not stay I had not intended to stay but I could not talk to Selvin tonight there would not be time and there was too much I wanted to say Selvin shoulders made shrug that was barely perceptible and without offering his hand he said good night in the hall I heard him speak to kitty then the closing of the door and the starting of the taxi then silence don was breaking when at last I slept end of chapter 12 chapter 13 of people like that this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org people like that by Kate Langley Bosher chapter 13 I have not seen Selvin since the night of kitty's dinner party he has been back three days if he wished to see me before he went away why does he not come to see me now daily a determined I will let no thought of him come into my mind the purposes for which I came to Scarborough Square will be defeated if I continue to think of this unimaginable happening that is with me day and night this peculiar behavior of which he makes no explanation I determined not to think and thought is ever with me I was silly foolish quixotic to hope that here in this little world of workday people he might be brought to see that personal acquisition and advance is not enough to give life meaning to justify what it exacts I was foolish we are more apart than when I came Mrs. Monday in her blue cotton dress a band of embroidery in the neck of its close fitting bus and around her waist a long white apron which reached beyond her ample hips to the middle of her back lingered this morning dust cloth in hand at the door of my sitting room there was something else she wanted to say I'm mighty frayed little gritty archer is going to have what we used to call it galloping case she went over to the window where she felt the earth and its flower box to see if it were moist she's a pretty child and she was terrible anxious to go to one of them open-air schools on the roof but there wasn't any room it's too late now the upper ends of the dust cloth were fitted together carefully and leaving the window Mrs. Monday went over to the door do you reckon the women know the women where you came from and the other women the rich and the comfortable and the plain ones who could help to if they were shown how do you reckon they know I looked up from the table where I'd been straightening some magazines know what about there not being schools enough for the children and about boys and girls going wrong because of not being shown how to go right and about Mrs. Monday sat down in a chair near the door another thing I want to ask you is this how did it come about that some men and women have found out they've got to know and they've got to care and they've got to help with things they didn't use to help with and some ain't heard a sound in seen a thing of what's going on around them some people like being deaf and blind but most people are willing to do their part if only they understand it the trouble isn't knowing how to go about things in the right way the wise way women have had to stumble so long their natural stumblers women are that is some of them they're afraid to look where they are going I don't like to lose heart in anything human but I get low down in spirit when I see how don't care so many women are they are blind as bats when they don't want to see and they've got a mighty satisfying way of soothing of themselves by saying something's ain't their business that's devil's dope gently women who talk that way are the ones who call the most attention to the faults and failings of men considering men are men I think they do wonderful mr. guard says if women keep silent much longer the very stones will cry out mr. guard is he the one you call the people's preacher Mrs. Monday nodded he preaches to them what won't go in a church I reckon you've seen something about him in the papers he used to have a church in a big city but he gave it up I don't think he thinks like the churches think exactly but he don't have any call to mention creeds and doctrines down here and he just ask people playing out what kind of life they are living not what they believe I've been wanting for a long time for you all to know each other I'd like very much to know him ask him to come to see me he don't go to see people unless they need him I've been wanting him for weeks to come to supper with Bettina and me but he's that busy he hasn't had a night free to do it when he does have one would you mind coming down and taking supper with us instead of my sending yours up as usual I'd be awful proud to have you of course I'll come I'd love to can't you get him for Friday evening I have no engagement for Friday it's this minute I'll try this is Monday got up with activity you two are meant to know each other both of you have your own way of doing things and you'll have a lot to talk about you like him and he'll like you I let you know if he can come as soon as I find out closing the door behind her she left me alone taking the morning paper to the window I drew my chair close to it pushing back the curtains that I might have all possible light as I read it was against knowing and the greatness of the sky and the atmosphere was reflected in the room not withstanding the leaping flames of the open fire and after a while I put the paper aside and looked out of the window each twig and branch of the trees and shrubs of the snow covered square was bent and twisted in fantastic shape by its coating of fleet and the usual shabbiness of the little park was glorified with shining wonder and under its spell for the moment I forgot all else here and there a squirrel hopped cautiously from tree to tree now standing on its branches and nibbling a nut dug from its hiding place now scurrying off to hide it again that's I watched the cautious cocking of their heads I laughed aloud and the sound recalled me to the waste I was making of time this isn't writing my letters and they must go off in the afternoon mail getting up I was about to turn from the window when a man and a young woman coming across the square caught my attention and hardly knowing why I looked at them intently something about the man was familiar he was barely medium height and singularly slender and though his head was bent that he might better hear the girl who was talking I was sure I had seen him before the girl I had never seen she was dragging slowly as if each step was forced and putting her handkerchief close to her mouth she began to cough for a moment they stood still and I saw the girl had on low shoes and a shabby coat which had once been showy on one side of her hat was a red bird battered and bruised and at this comic effort at dressiness which poor people cling to with such pathetic persistence I smiled and then an alarm leaned closer to the window they had begun their walk again and were now at the end of the path opening on to the pavement I could see them clearly and instinctively my hands went out as if to catch her for the girl had fallen forward and on the snow a tiny stream of red was dripping from her mouth quickly the man caught her and put his handkerchief to her lips and with equals swiftness he looked around he could not lay her on the snow but she could no longer stand the fear in his face the whiteness of hers were plainly visible I raised the window bring her over here I called I'll come down and help you in a flash I was out of the room and down the steps Mrs. Mundy who had heard my hurried running followed me to the door what is it she asked what the matter Ms. Dandridge opening the front door I started down the steps but already the man with the girl in his arms was coming up them go back he said quietly though his breath was quick and uneven go back you'll get your feet wet with a swift movement Mrs. Mundy pushed me aside Mr. Gard her voice was questioning uncertain then she held out her arms the poor child give her to me who is it why it's it's Lily Pierce yes the man's voice was low and with a movement of his head his hat fell on the floor it's Lily Pierce she has fainted where shall I take her in here opening a door at the end of the hall Mrs. Mundy motioned Mr. Gard to enter from the girls mouth the blood was still dripping and on the collar of her coat was a big round splotch of red now I said bring her upstairs there's a room all fixed and you have so much to do I put my hand on Mrs. Mundy's arm I can take care of her can't we take her upstairs a swift look passed between Mrs. Mundy and Mr. Gard no the latter shook his head it is better for her to be down here going inside of the little room he laid the girl on a cot at the foot of the bed then turned to me get a doctor call Chester 4273 and tell Carson if he's there to come at once if you can find her get miss White also I turned to leave the room but not before I saw Mrs. Mundy and Mr. Gard at work on the girl and already her hat and coat were off and warm covering was being tucked around her Mrs. Mundy knew what to do and with feet that hardly touched the steps I was at the telephone and calling the number that had been given me I was frightened and impatient at the slowness of central for heaven's sake hurry I said someone is ill bring loud Dr. Carson was in he would come at once miss White was out where is she I asked where can I get her I was told where she might be found and changing my slippers for shoes and putting on my coat and hat I came down ready to go out at the door of the room where they had taken the girl I stopped she was now quite conscious and with no pillow under her head she was tearing up at the ceiling blood was no longer on her lips but a curious mile was on them it must have been this gasping faintly scornful smile that startled me it seemed mocking what had been done too late I'm going for miss White I looked at Mr. Gard she's at the boisterous the doctor as I spoke he came in a big man careless in dress and caustic in speech but a man to be trusted I slipped out and in a few minutes had found Martha White and quickly we walked back to Scarborough Square it's well you came when you did she bent her head to keep the swirling snowflakes from her face Martha is fat and short and rapid walking is difficult I was just about to leave for the other end of town to see a typhoid case of miss Wyatt's she's young and gets frightened easily and I promised I'd come sometime today though it's out of my district who is this girl I'm going to see I don't know I heard Mr. Gard in this Monday call her Lily Pierce they seem to know her I never saw her before never heard of her miss White who had been district nursing for 14 years made effort to recall the name she had a hammer it you say she did not wait for an answer but went up the steps ahead of me and then we filled me as I followed her into the room where she was to find her patient professionally miss White was one person socially another off-duty she was slow and shy and consciously awkward in the sick room she was transformed quiet cool steady alert she knew what to do and how to do it with a word to the others her coat and hat were off and she was standing by the bed and again I was humiliated that I knew how to do so little was of so little worth between the doctor and herself was some talk directions were given and statements made and then the doctor came to the door where I'm standing for a half moment he looked me over his near sighted eyes almost closing in their squint I knew your father a very unusual man he held out his hand you're like him got his expression and I'm told the same disregard of what people think that he jerked his thumb over his shoulder is a side of life you've never seen before it's a side of men make and women permit good morning before I could answer he was gone close to the cot mrs. Mundy and miss white were still standing the latter slipped her hand under the covering and drew out the hot water bag this has cooled she said where can I get hot water mrs. Mundy pointed to the bathroom then returned and together they left the room the girl on the cot was seemingly asleep as they went out the man who was standing by the mantle came toward me I'm David guard he said I have not thanked you for letting me bring her in had there been anywhere else to take her I would not have brought her here I met her at the other end of the square we there was no place to which we could go to talk and fearing she would get too cold we had moved on last month she tried to take her life this morning she was telling me she could hold out no longer there was no way out of it but death who is she before he could answer I understood shivering I turned away then I came back will you come to my sitting room mr. guard can we not talk as human beings who are trying to find the right way to to help wrong things end of chapter 13 chapter 14 of people like that this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org people like that by Kate Langley washer chapter 14 a moment later you were upstairs I don't know why I'm so cold my hands not yet steady were held out to the leaping flames usually I love a snowstorm but today they tell me you rarely have such weather as we have had of late personally I like it but too many it seems anything but pleasure is this the chair you prefer at my nod he pushed a low rocker closer to the fire and placed a footstool properly drawing up the wing chair he sat down and looked around the room as the light fell on him I noticed the olive almost swarthy coloring of his skin this deep sunk eyes with their changing expressions of gravity and humor of tolerance and intolerance and I knew he was a sort of man one could talk to on any subject and not be misunderstood his hair was slightly gray and frequently his well-shaped hand would brush back a long lock that fell across his temple his clothes were not of a clerical cut and evidently had seen good service and that he gave little attention to personal details was evidenced by his cravat which was midway of his color and his color of a loose ill-fitting kind about him was something intensely earnest intensely eager and alert and watching him I realized he belonged to that little group which through the ages has dared to differ with accepted order and for his daring he had suffered as all must suffer who feel as well as think you don't mind the smile on his face was whimsical if I take a good draught of this do you it's been long since I've seen just this sort of thing his eyes were on a picture between two windows out of Denmark one rarely sees anything of scoff guards that Filipino Libby is excellent also at the hermitage in St. Petersburg I tried to get a copy like that he noted at Rembrandt's picture of himself but there was none to be had did he get yours there four years ago I also got that photograph of who dons Walter there he looked in the direction to which I pointed and getting up went over to first one picture and then another and studied them closely a bit of bronze a statue it or two an altarpiece a chalice a flag on a pattern a sensor and an icon held his attention one after the other and again he turned to me these are very interesting is it as one of the faithful you collect a smile which strangely lighted his face swept over it oh no I shook my head the faithful would find me a most disturbing person I asked too many questions my hand made movement in the direction of the bookshelves around the four sides of the room on the tops of which were oddly assorted little remembrances of days of travel a study of such things as a study of religious expression at different periods and among different peoples they've always interested me they interest me also mr. guard stood before the icon looked long upon it before coming back to the fire and again sitting down for a moment he gazed into it as if forgetting where he was then he leaned back in his chair and turned to me a collection of examples of ecclesiastical art of religious ideas embodied in objects used for purposes of worship is interesting yes but a collection of reactions against what they failed to represent would be more so could they be collected they have been haven't they the lives of those who dare to differ to break from heritage and tradition much has been collected and transmitted the effect of reactions is what counts I suppose their inevitability is what people do not seem to understand leaning forward he again looked into the fire his hands between his knees the teachings of Christ having been twisted into a system of theology and the church into an organization based on dogma and doctrine reaction is unescapable however we won't get on that again he straightened was it reaction that brought you to Scarborough Square I beg your pardon I have no right to ask there was something you wish to ask me I believe for a moment there was silence broken only by the flames of the fire which splattered and flared and made soft whispering sounds while on the windowpane the snow now turning into sleet tapped as if with tiny fingers and my heart began to beat really I did not know how to ask him what I wanted to ask there was much he could tell me much I wish to hear from a man standpoint but how to make him understand was difficult he had faced life frankly knew what was subterfuge what sincere and the restrictions of custom and convention no longer handicapped him between sympathy and sentimentality he had found the right distinction and his judgment and emotions had learned to work together my judgment and emotions were yet untrained the girl downstairs I began you and Mrs. Mundy seemed to know her if she belongs as I imagine to the world down there my hand made motion behind me Mrs. Mundy will think I can do nothing but cannot somebody do something must things always go on the same way no they will not always go on the same way they will continue so to go however until women good women understand they must chiefly bring about the change for centuries women have been cohorts being ignorant of what they should know being silent when they should speak they prefer to be white roses but white roses do not necessarily live in hot houses I pushed my chair farther from the fire that is one of the reasons I'm here I want to know where women fail he looked up one does not often find a woman willing to know behind the confusion of such terms as ignorance and innocence most women continue their responsibility in certain directions they have accepted man's decree that certain evils having always existed must always exist and they have made little effort to test the truth of the assertion nilly pierce and the women of her world are largely the product of the attitude of good women toward them to the sin of men good women shut their eyes Britain they do not know they do not want to know they not only do not want to know themselves that is many of them but they would keep others from knowing perhaps it is natural so many things have happened to life in the past few years that even clever able women are still bewildered still uncertain what is right to do life can never be again what it once was and still most of us are trying to live a new thing in an old way we have so long been purposely kept ignorant so long not permitted to have opinions that count so long been told our work is elsewhere that cowardice and indifference the fear of inability to deal with new conditions new obligations new responsibilities still holds us back I get impatient indignant and then I realize David guard laughed that many are still in the child class his head tossed back the long lock of hair that fell over his forehead it is true but certainly you do not think because I see the backwardness the blindness of some women I do not see the forwardness the vision of others men have hardly guessed as yet that it is chiefly due to women that the world is now asking questions it has never asked before beginning to look life in the face where once it blinked at it because of what women have suggested urged insisted on and worked for the social conscience all over the earth has been aroused social legislation enacted and social dreams stand chance of coming true certain fields they have barely entered yet however it is easy to understand why when they realize what is required of them they will not hold back but as yet among the women you know how many give a thought to Lily Pierce's world to the causes and conditions which make her and her kind I shook my head I do not know I've never heard a world's discussed I suppose not in this entire city there are few women who think of girls like Lily Pierce or care to learn the truth concerning them care enough to see that though they went on to dogs and to dogs they need not return if they wish to get away most people both men and women imagine such girls like the hideous life that they entered it from deliberate choice out of a hundred there may be a dozen who so chose but each of the others has her story in many instances a story that would shame all men because of man he glanced at the clock and got up quickly I'm sorry but I've got to go I had entirely forgotten an engagement and compelled to fill may I come again he held out his hand I've heard about you of course I wanted to know you there's much I'd like to talk to you about when you leave Scarborough Square and go back into your world you can tell it many things that should know some day it will understand abruptly he turned and left the room end of chapter 14 chapter 15 of people like that this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org people like that by Kate Langley Bosher chapter 15 the girl downstairs the girl named Lily Pierce was taken on the back porch this morning and for the first time Mrs. Mundy left me alone with her when the snows gone and the sun shines the cot can be rolled out I told the doctor Mrs. Mundy tucked the covering closely around the shrinking figure but chill and dampness ain't friends to feeble folks and there's plenty of fresh air without going outdoors it's hard to make even smart folks like doctors get more in one idea at a time in their heads and in remembering benefits they forget dangers are you ready child for a whiff of sunshine it's come at last the sun has the girl nodded indifferently but as the cot was pushed into the porch I saw her lips quiver saw her teeth bitten into them to hide their quivering and I nodded to Mrs. Mundy to go inside and I too left her for a moment and went down the steps to the little garden being made ready for the coming of spring around the high fence vines had been planted a trellis or two put against the porch for roses and clematis and close to the gate an apple tree twisted and gnarled gave promise of blossoms if not a fruit already I loved the garden which was to be while it saw to be here and tulips there I said under my breath and wondered if Lily were herself again if I could not go back a row of snow drops and bleeding hearts would look lovely there something green and growing in a sheltered corner near the house caught my eye and stooping I pulled the little blossom and went up the steps to Lily Scott and gave it to her eagerly she held out her hands and the silence of days was broken the bitterness that had filled her eyes the scorn that had drawn her thin lips into forbidding curves the mask of control which had exhausted her strength yielded at the sight of a little brown and yellow flower and with a cry she kissed it pressed it to her face it is to grow a long bed of it close to the kitchen wall where it was warm and where it bloomed before anything else the words came stumblingly mother loved it best of all her flowers she had all sorts in her garden with a quick turn of her head she looked at me in her face horror in her eyes tumultuous pain then threw the flower from her with a wild movement as if her touch had blighted it why don't you let me die she cried oh why don't you let me die I drew a chair close to the cot and sat down by it for a while I said nothing things long locked within her long held back were struggling for utterance in the days she had been with us her silence had been unbroken but gradually something bitter and rebellious had died out of her face and into it had come a haunted haunted look and yet she would not talk until she was ready to speak we knew it was best to say nothing to her of days that were passed or of those that were to come Mrs. Monty had known her before she came to Scarborough Square in a ward of one of the city's hospitals where her baby was born she had found her alone deserted and waiting her time two days after its birth the baby died when she left the hospital there was nowhere for her to go she had lived in a city for a short time and no little of its life and yet she must work Mrs. Monty got a room for her then a place in a store and she did well kept to herself but somebody who knew her story saw her told the proprietor and he turned her off he couldn't keep girls like that he said it would injure his business later she got in an office she had learned at night to do typewriting and there one of the men was kind to her began to give her a little pleasure every now and then she was young it was dreary where she lived and she craved a bit of brightness one night he took her to what she found was oh worse than where she has since lived for it pretended to be respectable she was terribly afraid of men it wasn't put on it was real I know prittance when I see it Mrs. Monty was telling me of the girl changed her position and fixed the screen so that the flames from the fire should not burn her face ever since the father of the child had deserted her she had believed all men were wicked but this man had been so friendly so kindly she thought he was different from the others when she found where she was she was crazy with fear and anger and made a scene before she left the next morning when she went to work she was told her services were no longer needed and told in a way that made her understand she was not fit to work in the room with other girls the man who had charge of the room was the man she had thought a friend he's got his job still the ticking of the clock on the mantle alone broke the stillness of the room as Mrs. Monty stopped I tried to say something but words would not come for years I've heard the stories of these poor creatures Mrs. Monty's even tones steadied somewhat the protesting tumult in my heart for years I've known the awful side of the lives they lead I didn't have money or learning or influence or the chance to make good people understand even if they had been willing to hear what I could tell but I could help one of them every now and then there are few of them who start out deliberate to live wrong when they take it up regular it's most always because they're like dogs at bay there's nothing else to do what became of Lily when she lost her place I got up from the sofa and came closer to the fire my teeth were chattering she lost her soul she went in a factory but the air made her sick and after three feints they turned her off it interrupted the work and made the girls lose time running to her and so she had to go after a while I was away at the time the woman she lived with turned her out she owed room rent a good deal of it and she needed food and clothes and there was no money with which to buy them it got her crazy the thought that because she had done wrong she was but a rag to be kicked from place to place with only the gutter to land in at last and well she landed but she isn't all bad I used to feel about girls like her just as most good people still feel but I've come to see there's many of them who are more sinned against than sinning the men who make and keep them what they are go free and are let alone couldn't she have gone home you said she was from the country wouldn't they let her come back home Mrs. Mundy shook her head her own mother was dead and her stepmother wouldn't let her come she had young children of her own last month she tried to end it all she won't be here much longer the doctor says she'll hardly live six months if we can get her in the city home the city home the memory of what I had seen there came over me protestingly the girl had lived in hell she need not die in it perhaps she can be sent somewhere in the country I said after a while Mr. Guard might know of someone who will take her certainly she can stay here until until he knows what is best to do Mrs. Mundy got up for a moment she looked at me started to say something then went out of the room she was crying I wonder if I said anything I shouldn't tell me if your mother's garden I picked up the tiny flower and put it on Lily Scott where its fragrance waked faint stirrings of other days I've always wanted a garden like my grandmother he used to have I remember it very well though I was only nine when she died there were cherry trees and fig trees in it and a big arbor covered with scupper-long grape points and wonderful strawberries in one corner all of her flowers were the old-fashioned kind there was a beautiful yellow rose that grew all over the fence which separated the flowers from the vegetables and close to the woodhouse was a big moss rose bush there were microfella roses too I loved them best and jackminots and tea roses and did she have princess feather in hers and candy tuft and sweet williams Lily turned over on her side her hand under her cheek and in her eyes a quick eager glow in mother's garden were all sorts of old-fashioned flowers also we lived two miles from town and father sold vegetables and chickens to the marketmen who sold them to their customers but he never had as good luck with his vegetables as mother had with her flowers she loved them so there was a big moss orange bush right by the well did you ever shut your eyes and see things again just as they were a long time ago if I were blindfolded and my hands tied behind me I could find just where every flower used to grow in mother's garden if I could go in it again like a flood overleaping the barrier that held it back the words came eagerly to keep her from talking would do more harm than to let her talk the fever in her soul was greater more consuming than that in her body I did not try to stop her I don't remember where each thing was in grandmother's garden I moved my chair a little closer to her cot but I remember the gooseberry bushes were just behind a long bed of lilies of the valley it seemed so queer they should be together lilies of the valley grow everywhere mother's bed got bigger every year there was a large circle of them around a mound in the middle of our garden and they were fringed with violets one February our minister's wife died they didn't have any flowers and it seemed so dreadful not to have any that I went into the garden to see if I couldn't find something the garden was covered with snow but the week before had been warm and going to one of the beds I brushed the snow away and found a lot of white violets they were blooming under the snow I pulled them and took them to the minister and he put them in her hands they used to put flowers in people's hands when they were dead I don't know whether they do it now or not sometimes it is done I took up the sewing on my lap and made a few stitches tell me some more of your mother's garden did she have winter pinks and bachelor's buttons and snap-dragons and hollyhocks in it I used to hate grandmother's hollyhocks there was so hotty we did not have any but we had bridal wreath and spirea and a big pomegranate bush there were two large ol' yanders in tubs at the foot of the front steps one was mine the other was my sister's my sister is married now and lives out west she has two children a bird on the bow of the apple tree began to twitter for a moment Lily listened then again she looked at me and her eyes that which I had noticed several times before a look of torturing fear and pain and shame too her voice was slow do you know about me yes I know about you you know and and still you talk to me I don't understand why did you come down here you don't belong in Scarborough Square why not I have no one who needs me I held my bit of sewing off looked at it carefully other women have their homes their husbands and children or their families or duties or obligations of some sort which they cannot leave even if they wanted to know to understand better how they might I leaned forward I think you can help me Lily help me very much help you half lifting herself up Lily stared at me as if not understanding then the flush in her face deepened I help anybody if I only could if I only could I'm sure you can I picked up the flower which again had fallen the doctor says you can go in the country soon but before you go I hope I won't live long enough to go anywhere but before I go away for good if I could tell you what you could tell to others and make them understand how different it is from what they think make them know the awfulness awfulness she turned her head away buried it in her arms her body shaking and convulsive sobs the bird on the apple tree had stopped it singing and the sun was no longer shining in the hall I heard Mrs. Mundy go to the door heard it open then heavier footsteps came toward us I looked around Selwyn was standing in the doorway End of Chapter 15 Chapter 16 of People Like That This is a LibriVox recording All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain For more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org People Like That by Kate Langley-Bosher Chapter 16 Selwyn closed the door put his hat and overcoat on a chair beside it and came over to the fire standing in front of it hands in his pockets he looked at me I also was standing Why don't you sit down are you in a hurry am I interrupting you I shook my head I'm not in a hurry and you're not interrupting I thought perhaps thought what that you were in a hurry I sat down on a footstool near the mantel and leaned against the ladder my hands on my knees I so seldom have a visit from a man in the morning that I don't know how to behave My head nodded toward the chair he usually preferred I would not take your time now but I must He took a seat opposite me and looking at me his face changed What is the matter are you sick your eyes look like holes in a blanket something has been keeping you awake what is it I'm not at all sick and I slept very well last night I drew a little further from the flame of the fire I'm sorry if my eyes Blah your bluff they always do Resist as you will they give you away you've been working yourself to death doing absurd things for unthankful people who was that sick person downstairs where do you pick her up I didn't pick her up she had a hemorrhage and fainted in front of the house I happened to see her and and had her brought in I understand in a neighbourhood of this sort you don't know who you are bringing in but I suppose that doesn't matter no it doesn't when the bring again is a matter of life and death perhaps as long as I'm here and Mrs. Mundy is here anyone can come in who for the moment has nowhere else to go Scarborough Square has no walls around its houses whoever needs us as a neighbour the girl was ill my voice was indignant there are times when Selwyn makes me absolutely furious he apparently takes pleasure in pretending to have no heart then too he was talking and acting in such contrast to the way I had expected him to talk and acted our first meeting alone after the past weeks that in amazement I stared at him of self-consciousness or embarrassment there was no sign it had obviously not occurred to him that his acquaintanceship with the girl he had given no evidence of knowing when I was present and three days later had been seen walking with on the street absorbed in deep and earnest conversation was a matter I would like to have explained the density of men for a moment kept me dumb Selwyn has been read in a school honest in its belief that a woman is too fine and fair a thing to face life frankly that personal knowledge and understanding on her part of certain verities certain actualities did the world no good and woman harm but the woman of whom he thought was the sheltered cultured cared for woman of his world protection of her was a man's privilege and obligation of the woman who has to do her own protecting fight her way through meet the demands of those dependent on her he personally knew little it was what he needed much to know but because his handsome hotty mother had lived in hybrid self congratulatory ignorance of what she believed did not concern her and because he has for a sister who's a step sister a silly snobby person he is not justified in withholding from me what he naturally withheld from them one can be a human being as well as a lady it's this that is difficult to make him understand for a half moment longer I looked at him then away apparently he had not heard what I said I should not trouble you I have no right but I don't know what to do I've so long come to you he turned to me uncertainly what is it I got up from the footstool and took my seat in the corner of the sofa why shouldn't you come to me you have enough on you now he bit his lip it's about Harry the boy must be crazy for the past few weeks he has kept me close to hell I never imagined the time would come when I would thank God my father was dead it's come now what is it Selwyn there is nothing you cannot tell me I leaned forward my hands twisting in my lap I knew more of Harry than Selwyn knew I knew but because he was the one person I did know with whom I had no measure of patience I rarely mentioned his name Harry is Selwyn's weakness and to his faults and failings the latter is outwardly at least most inexplicably blind he is as handsome as he is unprincipled and irresponsible and his power to fascinate is seemingly limited only by his desire to exercise it what is it I repeated what has he been doing everything he shouldn't Selwyn leaned forward and looked in the fire I was wrong I suppose but something had to be done for some time he's been drinking and gambling and I told him it had to stop I stood it as long as I could but when I found he would frequently come home too drunk to get in bed and would have to be put there by Wingfield who would be listening for him I had a talk with him which it isn't pleasant to remember I'd had a good many before God knows I've tried Selwyn got up went over to the window and stood for a moment at it with his back to me presently he left it and began to walk up and down the room hands in his pockets I've doubtless made a mess of looking after him but I did the best I knew how because of the 11 years difference in our ages I've shut my eyes too much I should have seen and refused to hear what I should have listened to perhaps but I was afraid of being too severe too lacking in sympathy with his youth with the differences in our natures and chiefly because I knew he was largely the product of his raring he was only 14 when father died and to the day of her death mother alert no one to correct him she indulged him beyond sense or reason let him grow up with the idea that whatever he wanted he could have restraint and discipline were never taught him as for direction guidance training Selwyn's shoulders shrugged if I said anything to mother cautioned her of the mistake she was making she taught me hard and cruel and ended by weeping after her death it was too late doesn't he work does he do nothing at all work Selwyn stopped he's never done a day's work in his life that earned him what he got for it when he refused to go back to college mother bought him a place in Hogue and Howard's office they kept him until you'd used up the capital put in the business then got rid of him I offered to put more in but they wouldn't agree later I got John Moore to take him in but John now refuses to renew their contract he's absolutely no good that's a pretty hard thing to say about one's brother but it's true he's the only thing on earth belonging to me that I've got to love but now Selwyn's voice was husky and again he went to the window looked long upon the square and for a moment I said nothing I could think of nothing to say from various friends of other days who came occasionally to see me in my new home I had heard of Harry's wild behaviour of late of Selwyn's patient shielding of him of the latter's love and loyalty and care of the boy to whom he had been far more than a brother and I wanted much to help him to say something that would harden him and there was nothing I could say Harry was selfish to the core he was unprincipled and unscrupulous and for long I had feared that someday he would give Selwyn sore and serious trouble that day had seemingly come he's so young at 23 life isn't taken very seriously by boys of Harry's nature he'll come to himself after a while I was fumbling for words when his money is entirely gone he'll tire of his his way of living and behave himself the lack of money won't disturb him I bought his interest in the house for fear he had sell it to someone else he's pretty nearly gotten through with that as with other things he inherited how in the name of heaven my father's son Selwyn came over to the sofa and sat down I didn't mean to speak of this however of his past behaviour it's concerning his latest adventure that I want your help want you to tell me what to do why don't you smoke haven't you a cigar I reached for a box of matches behind me begin at the beginning and tell me everything Selwyn lighted a cigar and for a while smoked in silence in his face were deep lines that aged it strangely and for the first time I noticed graying hair about his temples suddenly something clutched my heart clearly something that cleared unnaming darkness and understanding was upon me unsteadyly my hand went out toward him there is nothing you cannot ask me to do Selwyn there is nothing I would not do to help you he lifted my hand to his lips there is no one but you I'll talk to of this you will not misunderstand if I could not come to you I drew my hand away that's what a woman is for to to stand by when a man needs her my words came stammeringly I heard Harry was away where is he and why did he go he's in Texas he went I think because of a mix up with a girl here he had no business knowing there was a row I believe Selwyn frowned and flicked the ashes from a cigar with impatient movement there is no use going into that I'm not excusing him there is no excuse but so far as that's concerned there's nothing to be done so far as I can see he got involved with this girl a little casual at some restaurant downtown who thought he was going to marry her I knew nothing about this until a few weeks ago when I heard it I went to see the girl the tension of past weeks not yet entirely unrelaxed snapped with such swiftness that I seemed suffocating and lest he hear the sob in my throat I got up and went over to the window and opened it a little was she I made effort to speak steadily was she the girl who was brought in here the girl you were with some three weeks ago Selwyn who had gotten up as I came back to the sofa again sat down yes she was a girl his voice was indifferently even he had obviously no suspicion of my unworthy wondering had forgotten indeed his indignation at the question I had asked him after seeing him with her other things more compelling had evidently crowded it from memory I had never seen her until the night I saw her here she I learnt later knew me however has Harry's brother I had been told that Harry was infatuated with her and knowing there could only be disaster unless his thing was stopped I went to see the girl the evening you saw me was the second time I had seen her I was trying to make her promise to go away this isn't her home she came here to get work Selwyn leaned back against the sofa and his eyes looked into mine with helpless questioning I've been brought in contact professionally with many types of human beings but that girl is the most baffling thing I've come across yet I can't make her out the night after I saw her here I went to see her at what I supposed was her home just opposite the Hadley box factory later she told me she didn't live there and would not say where she lived all the time I talked to her her eyes were on her hands in her lap and though occasionally her lips would twist she would say nothing it isn't a pleasant thing for a man to tell a girl his brother isn't a safe person for her to go with isn't one to be trusted but I did tell her she's an odd little thing all fire and flame and to talk frankly was to be brutal but someday she should thank me she won't do it she will hate me always for warning her she knew as well as I that marriage was out of the question and yet she would not promise to give Harry up when you saw me I was on my way for a second talk with her meeting her on the street I did not go to the house which she said she had just left and as she would not tell me where she was going I had to do my talking as we walked did she promise to go away I looked into the fire and the odd elfish frightened face of the girl with the baby in her arms looked at me out of the bed of colds did she promise to go I repeated Selvon shook his head she would promise nothing I could get nothing out of her could not make her talk Harry has been a dirt fool perhaps worse I don't know I tried to help her and I failed my fingers interlocked in nervous movements why hadn't the girl told Selvon why was she shielding Harry would she tell me or Mrs. Mundy what she would not tell Selvon I could send Mrs. Mundy to her now could break the silence which was misdefined to her Selvon's hands moved as her to rid them of all further responsibility you can't do anything with people like that she'd rather stay on here and take the chance of seeing Harry than go away from temptation I'm sorry for her but I'm true no you're not true perhaps we've just begun maybe there there were reasons of which she couldn't tell you that kept her here I looked at him then away the night we heard her fall hurt her cry out the night we brought her in here you met someone across the street when you went away was it Harry in Selvon's face came flushed that crimson did yes it was Harry I don't know what happened he had been drinking but I can't believe he struck her if he did my god which shattering movement Selvon's elbows were on his knees this face in his hands and only the dropping of a coal upon the heart broke the stillness of the room presently he got up and again went over to the window when he next spoke his voice was quiet but in it a bitterness and weariness he made no effort to conceal it was Harry but he would tell me nothing about the girl from someone else I learned where I could find her a few days after I saw her Harry went away did you make him go no I had a talk with him during which he told me to mind my own damned business and he would mind his Selvon turned from the window and came back to the sofa on his lips a faint smile when he went off he didn't tell me he was going left no address and for some time I didn't know where he was less than three weeks ago I had a telegram from him saying he was ill and to send money I wired the money and left for El Paso on the first train I could make I tried to see you before I went but you were out why didn't you write I couldn't once or twice I tried but gave it up I found that Harry had undoubtedly been ill but when I reached him he was up and about two hours before I took the train to return home he informed me of his engagement too his what for a moment I sat rigidly upright in my eyes indignant unbelief then I sat back limped and relaxed my hands palms upward in my lap Selvon's shoulder is shrugged your amazement is feeble to what mine was on the train going down he had renewed his acquaintance with the girl and her mother he had met somewhere here I believe and a week after reaching her home the girl was engaged to him her name is Swink is she crazy no her mother is crazy I don't blame the girl she's young pretty silly and doubtless in love Harry has fatal facility in making love this mama person has a good deal of money no sense and large social ambitions she's determined to get there if only fools died as soon as they were born there would be hope for humanity a fat fool is beyond the reach of end of her with the eyes narrowed and his forehead ridged in tiny folds Selvon stared at me have women no sense Danny have they no understanding no some have but sense and understanding interfere with comfortable ignorances that aren't pleasant to be interfered with does this female parent know anything about Harry did she let her daughter become engaged before making inquiries about him she knows very well who he is she's visited here several times if told of Harry's past dissipations she had sued herself with the usual dope of boys being boys and men being men and bygones being bygones Selvon's hands made gesture of disgust it's a plain case of damned fool she deserves what she'll get if she lets her daughter marry Harry but the daughter doesn't somebody ought to tell the child she mustn't marry him if there was a father or brother the responsibility would be on them there's neither but didn't you tell Harry that that I did and the language I used was not learned in a kindergarten among other things I told him was that if he oh it's no use going into that it's easy to say what you'll do but it isn't easy to show your brother up as as everything one's brother shouldn't be for a moment or two Selvon continued his restless walking up and down the room in his face no masking of the pain and weariness of spirit that were possessing him to no one else would he speak so frankly of a family affair and I wanted much to help him but how what was it he wanted me to do I could not see where I came in to do anything is Harry very much in love such questioning was consciously silly but something had to be said do you think he really loves the girl no I don't he says he does of course but he doesn't love anything but himself making love is a habit with him our girls know how to take the sort of stuff he talks rather expected but this little creature is obviously a literalist I imagine Harry hardly remembers how it happened he probably was surprised to find himself engaged however he's determined to go through with it a million dollar mother-in-law has a good deal in her favor but something is the matter with the boy he's not himself didn't he go away about a year ago and stay some time if he could begin all over there's nowhere under heaven I wouldn't send him if he had go with the purpose of beginning all over but he won't stay away about six months ago he went to South America and stayed four months since he got home he's been worse than ever reckless defiant and drinking heavily his health has gone and most of his money practically all of it I don't know what to do I want to do what is right tell me what it is Danny my breath was drawn in shiveringly and the frightened face of the girl with the baby in her arms again seemed close to me why was I so halting so afraid to speak usually I reached decisions quickly but I couldn't get rid of the girl's eyes they seemed appealing for protection until I knew more about her I must say nothing Mrs. Mundy must go to see her and then I know I shouldn't bother you with all this Selvon's voice recalled me and the face in the fire vanished but there is no one else I can talk to I should have soon go to a patient in the nerve sanitarium as to Mildred as a sister Mildred is not a success she'd first have hysterics and tell me I was brutal to poor Harry and then declare that to marry a million dollars was a chance of a lifetime for him one of the ten thousand things I can't understand about women is their difference of men their acceptance of his shortcomings and their disregard of the woman who must pay the price of the latter Mildred would probably not give Miss Swink a thought Harry's sister and his mama-in-law to be will doubtless find each other congenial they believe in sweet ignorance and blind acceptance for their sex but what do you want me to do Selvon what is it I can do I don't know hand on the back of the surfer he looked down at me when things go wrong I always come to you when they go right you are not nice to me today I had a letter from Harry he's coming back next week his fiance and her mother are coming with him the engagement is not to be announced just yet however and he asked me to keep it on the quiet and you've told me told you Selvon's voice was careless don't I tell you everything Mrs. Swink has friends here as drivers like herself the only kind of people you won't have anything to do with but I'm going to ask you to call perhaps you'll be able she won't want to know me I'll be no use to her I can't help her in any way and people like that are too keen to waste time on people like me I don't give parties but kitty does I don't know how you'll go about it but you'll find a way to to make the girl understand she mustn't marry Harry or certainly not for some time I feel sorry for the child but and the other girl the little casual girl what about her for a moment Selvon did not seem to understand oh that girl I don't think there'll be any trouble from her she doesn't seem that sorry forget her you can't do anything I've tried and failed I may fail but I haven't tried you dispose of her as if she didn't count what can I do I shouldn't have mentioned her Selvon's forehead ridged frowningly and taking out his watch he looked at it took up his hat and coat and held out his hand thank you for letting me talk to you and don't worry about the other girl you can't do anything perhaps I can't but you said just now one of the many things you couldn't understand in women with a disregard of other women that milrid would probably give the girl no thought the rich girl you meant well Selvon waited I did say it but I don't see what you're getting at that sometimes women do remember the woman who has to pay the price do give a thought to the girl who is left to pay it alone come tomorrow no not tomorrow come next week it will take mrs. Mundy until then to mrs. Mundy has nothing to do with miss swing the other girl I told you can take care of herself you mustn't look into that side of it I'll attend to that do what is necessary it's only about her you seem to be thinking I'm thinking about both girls the poor one and the rich one but the rich girl has a million-dollar mother to look after her goodbye and come Tuesday I forgot what is the girl's name the little cashier girls Etta Etta something Selvon made a verge to think then took a notebook out of his pocket and looked at it Etta Blake is her name I wish you'd forget her there are some things one can't talk about but certainly you know I will do what is right of Harry his face darkened I know you will but sometimes a girl needs a woman to do what is right she's such a little thing and so young come Tuesday evening at eight o'clock end of chapter 16 chapter 17 of people like that this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org people like that by Kate Langley-Bosher chapter 17 late that evening I had a talk with mrs. Mundy I told her where Etta Blake lived that is where she could find the house from which I had seen her come with the baby in her arms the house whose address had been given me by Selvon and the next morning she was to go and see her but the next morning mrs. Mundy was ill a cute indigestion was what the doctor called it but to Bettina and me it seemed a much more dreadful thing and for the time all thought of other matters was put aside and held in abeyance with Bettina's help I tried to do mrs. Mundy's work but my first breakfast was not an artistic product I shall never know how to cook I don't want to know how I don't like to cook there were many other things I could do however and though mrs. Mundy wept being weak from nausea at my refusal to leave undone the usual cleaning I did it with pride and delight in the realization that notwithstanding little practice I could do it very well I'm a perfect dishwasher and I can make up beds as well as a trained nurse mrs. Mundy is much better today and tomorrow she'll be up three days in bed is for her an unusual and depressing experience and her sunny spirit drooped under the combined effects of overindulgence in certain delectable dishes and inability to do her usual work it don't make any difference how much character person Scott it's gone when six stomach is a wrenching of them mrs. Mundy groaned feebly I ain't had a spell like this since Bettina was a baby pig feed did it when they are fried in batter I'm worse than the thing I'm eating I ate three and I never can eat more than two and to think you had to do everything for lily peers to get her off in time the doctor says she can't live many months outside the doctor and nurse white and mr. guard don't anybody know she's been here I reckon it ain't necessary to mention it people are so peopleish they love to stick pins and other people it's tyranny the fear of what people will think about us say about us do about us I'm going to give myself a present when I get like mr. guard and can tell some people to go go anywhere they please if it's where I won't meet them are you all right now and ready for your nap mrs. Mundy nodded looked at me with something of anxiety in her eyes as I straightened the counter pain of her spotless bed but she said nothing more and lowering the shades at the windows lest the sunlight bother her I went out of the room and left her to go asleep I'm glad of the much work of these past few days it has kept me from thinking too greatly of what selvin told me of Harry of the girl to whom he is engaged and of the little cashier girl whose tariff filled face is ever with me it has kept me also from dwelling too constantly on the message lily pierce sent by me to the women of clean and happy worlds for herself there was no plea for pity or for pardon no effort at paliation or excuse but with strength born of bitter knowledge she begged demanded that I do something to make good women understand that worlds like hers will never pass away if men alone are left to rid earth of them ceaselessly I keep busy lest I realize too clearly what such a message means I shrink from it appalled at what it may imply I am a coward as great a coward as the women whose unconcern I have off late been so condemning yesterday lily went away mr. guard took her to the mountains where a woman he used to know in the days of his mission work will take care of her he's coming back tomorrow the sense of comfort that is coming means is beyond analysis or definition only once or twice in a lifetime does one meet a man of david guard sort and whatever my mistakes whatever my impulses and lack of judgment may lead me to do he will never be impatient with me we have had several long and frank and friendly talks since the day he brought lily into mrs. monday and if scarborough square did no more for me than to give me his friendship I should be forever in its debt early this morning I had a dream I have been trying all day to forget through the first part of the night sleep had been impossible the haunting memory of lily's eyes could not be shut out and the sound of her voice made the stillness of the room unendurable I tried to read to write to do anything but think I fought resisted refused to face what I did not want to see to listen to what I did not want to hear and not until the dawn of a new day did I fall asleep in my dream lily was in front of me the bit of wallflower in her hands and gaspingly she cried out that something should be done it can never be made clean the world we women live in but there should never be such worlds good women pretend they do not know they do not want to know but lily I tried to hold her twisting writhing hands there is much that has been done some women do know and homes and institutions and societies homes and institutions and societies she drew her hands away in scornful gesture they are poultice and plaster things they are for surface sores and the trouble is in the blood to cure to cleanse undo the evil of our world is not in human power it's the root of the tree that must be killed you can cut off its top for a thousand years and it will come back again women have got to go deeper than that and make men know that they'll be damned the same as we if they soon the same as we do she was slipping from me and I tried to hold her back tell me what women must do tell me where they fail in terror I caught her hands do not go until you tell me in misty grayness she was vanishing when women make their son snow there is no less of sin and shame and sinful shameful lives for them than for their sisters our worlds will pass away you've got to stop the evil at the source men don't do what women won't stand for tell women that she was gone and waking I found I was sitting up in bed my hands outstretched I had a note from selvin today telling me the swings had come and are at the Melbourne harry is not well kitty telephoned me late yesterday afternoon that billy had an engagement for a club dinner of some sort and she had appendicitis or something that felt like it and wouldn't I please come up and have supper with her in her sitting room there was something she wanted to talk to me about kitty has a remarkable voice it is capable of every variation of appeal I went mrs crim came in to stay with mrs monday the appendicitis possibility was not disturbing and in a very lovely pink velvet negligee with cap and slippers and stockings to match kitty was waiting for me she is peculiarly skillful in the settings she arranges for her pretty self and as I looked at her they seemed far away things the world of scarborough square with its daily struggle for daily bread and the world of lily pierce with its evil and polluting life and the world of the little cashier girl with its temptations and denials I tried to put them from me the evening was to be kitties she took her luxuries as the birds of the air take light and sunshine unearned they seemed her right she did not like the dress I had on it's a perfectly good dress I'd certainly be glad when you stop wearing black it's too severe for you that is black grape dishon is you're too tall and slender for it though it gives you a certain distinction did selvin send you those violets he did rest your pain what did the doctor say was the matter I telephoned him not to come I haven't got any pain it's gone I just wanted you by myself kitty settled herself more comfortably in your cushion filled chair and stretched her feet on the stool in front of her why didn't you come to grace Peterson's luncheon yesterday I had something else more important to do grace knew I wasn't coming when she asked me society and Scarborough square can't be served at the same time I smiled during the days of apprenticeship only a half hour is allowed for lunch did you have a good time of course I didn't who does with an anxious hostess one of the guests was an out of town person who used to know you well she wanted to hear all about her in everybody told her something different all that's necessary is to mention your name and the place begun to be an inexhaustible subject of chatter is to serve a purpose in life I'd prefer a nobler one still who was my inquiring friend I forgotten her name she was the most miserable looking woman I ever saw on anyone else her clothes would have been stunning don't think she and her husband hit it off very well there's another lady he finds more entertaining than she is and she hasn't the nerve to tell him to quit it or go to belly hack women make me tired the tire men also a woman who accepts insults is hardly up to be interesting tell me about the luncheon who was it it same old bunch grace left out nothing that could be brought in most of the entertaining nowadays is a game of showdown regular exhibitions of glaze and silver and food and flowers and china and glass and gorgeous gowns and stupid people I'm getting sick of them why don't you start a new kind you might have your butler hand a note to each of your guests on arriving stating that all the things other people had for their tables you had for yours but only what was necessary would be used then you might have a good time it's difficult to talk down to an excess of anything wish I had the nerve to do it kitty again changed her position fixed more comfortably the pink light embroidered pillows at her back and looked at me uncertainly awaited presently she leaned toward me people are talking about you Danny you won't mind if I tell you you her blue eyes greatly troubled looked into mine then away her hand slipped into my hand and held it tightly sometimes I hate people they're so mean so nasty what are they saying I straighten the slender fingers curled about mine and stroked them only dead people aren't talked about what is being said about me all right thanks not to me of course they'd better not be but mrs. Herbert came to see me yesterday afternoon she wasn't at the luncheon and grace got the first wrap but most of her hatefulness she took out on you she's worse than a germ disease I always feel I ought to be disinfected after I see her if she were a leper she wouldn't be allowed at large and she's much more deadly people like that ought to be locked up what did she tell you about me I smiled and kitty's flushed face smiled also at the remembrance of Alice Herbert's would be cut some time ago but I did not mention it you oughtn't to be so hard on her she's crazy but crazy people are dangerous a mosquito can kill a king and a king has to be careful about mosquitoes I'm more afraid of people than I am of insects if you could only label them people label themselves what did Alice Herbert say about me first of course how strange it was that you should care to live in Scarborough square especially as you were a person who held yourself so aloof from people like her I do what else did she say that you met all sorts of people had all sorts to come and see you a trained nurse who was with the sick friend of her aunts told her she had heard you let a let a bad woman come in your house kitty's voice trailed huskily she said it would ruin you if things like that got out I told her it was a lie it wasn't so it was so I held kitty's eyes horror filled and unbelieving she stayed with mrs monday a week yesterday she went away to the mountains to die for a moment longer kitty stared at me and in her face crept deep and crimson color you mean that you let a a woman like that come in your house and stay a week mean for a long time we sat by the fire in kitty's sitting room with its rose colored hangings its mellow furnishings its soft burning logs on their brass and irons its elusive fragrance of fresh flowers and unsparingly I told her what all women should know in the twilight that of which I talked made pictures come and go that gave her understanding never glimpsed before and slipping on her knees she buried her face shudderingly in my lap is it I Danny is it women like me who could do something and don't she said after a long long while oh Danny is it I it is all of us my fingers smooth the beautiful brown hair every woman of today who thinks there's a halo on her head ought to take it off and look at it she wouldn't see much we like halos we imagine we deserve them and we like the pretty speeches which have spoiled us what we need to explain truth kitty we need to see without confusion sometimes I wonder if you are not the colossal failure of life we women who have hardly begun to use the power God put in our hands when he made us some mothers of sons and daughters but we've only been educated such a little while most of us aren't educated yet I'm not her arms on my knees kitty looked up in my face in hers the dawning light of vision long delayed men haven't wanted us to think they want to think for us but ours is the first chance of starting men to thinking right through babyhood and boyhood they are ours if all women could understand all women haven't got anything to understand with even if they wanted to understand some who have sense don't want responsibility kitty bit her lip I haven't wanted it it's so much easier not not to have it and now now you've put it on me when women know they will not shirk so many of us are children yet we've got to grow up stooping I kissed her in scarborough square I've learned to see it's a pretty wasteful world I've lived in and life is short kitty there is not a moment of it to be wasted end of chapter 17