 Okay, I think most of us are here. I just want to read from Psalm 96. The first few verses before we pray. Okay, Psalm 96 verse 1. Oh, sing to the Lord a new song. Sing to the Lord all the earth. Sing to the Lord, bless His name. Proclaim the good news of His salvation from day to day. Declare His glory among the nations. His wonders among all peoples. For the Lord is great and greatly to be praised. He is to be feared above all gods. For all the gods of the peoples are idols. But the Lord made the heavens. Honor and majesty are before Him. Strength and beauty are in His sanctuary. A wonderful reminder to all of us. To sing His praise. To declare the good news. Proclaim the good news. Declare His glory among all the nations. So that is the responsibility of every believer. That is the privilege of every believer. And each one of us, we are called to this. We are empowered, anointed to do this. So let's pray that the Lord would enable us. The Lord would strengthen us, anoint us fresh to be able to do this. So let's pray. Father, we just want to thank you Lord, that you've created each one of us. Lord, you've redeemed each one of us. Lord, for this special privilege, Lord to sing to you and to proclaim to the nations. Father, God, and to declare your glory, who you are, what you do, Lord, among the peoples, Father, God. And Master, we thank you that you've called us as kings and priests. Lord, you've called us, Lord, as your own special people, as a chosen generation. Lord, to be able to do this, God. And Father, we thank you, Lord, this morning. We ask that you would fill us with your spirit. Lord, that you would, Lord, give us a fresh understanding. Lord, and also that you would give us a fresh impartation and a revelation, Lord, of our privilege and our responsibility in this God. Wherever we are, in whatever realm of under a sphere of influence, Lord, you've placed us in, in whatever environment you have placed us in. Lord, enable us to do this, God. Enable us to sing your praise. Enable us to proclaim your glory and who you are, Lord. And proclaim your praise to the people of God. We thank you. We give you all the praise and all the glory. In Jesus' matchless name, we pray. Amen. Amen. Awesome. Okay. So we continue with marriage and family. And we, let's just get me from where we stopped last class. So last class, we were looking at some important aspects of marriage, which means, you know, beginning the marriage, or even before we commit to marriage, you know, wedding and marriage. So how one has to prepare oneself, right? And we looked at several areas of preparation, okay, which is sometimes, you know, like we said, we get very excited about the wedding and preparing for the wedding, which in itself is, I mean, it's not bad. One has to prepare. There's a lot of things. It's a special day and so on. But also to understand that it's a, it's a lifetime, right? Wedding is an event and marriage is a journey. And it's a lifelong journey. So it's good if one is prepared like personally. So we looked at several areas, right? We looked at how we can focus on becoming, or we need to focus on becoming the best version of ourselves. And we started by looking at that. And then we looked at how we need to look at our emotional health, see what is our, you know, our attitude, our motive, our behaviors, our thought patterns, you know, and we looked at several things. We looked at, you know, our attitudes. We looked at we negative and pessimistic. Are we burdened with guilt and shame? And because all this is going to affect our relationship, right? With our spouse. So we looked at emotional health and they've also looked at how we need to manage ourselves personally. And we looked at, you know, our work, our ministry, our career, the finances, how we manage our time and how we manage the household, right? We cannot be totally detached from a household no matter, you know, how anointed we are in ministry or, you know, how skilled we are in our workplace or how successful we are, you know, our household skills and how our responsibilities towards the household. So we looked at that. And we also looked at relationship skills, our ability to communicate, right? If you, you know, if you want to express something and you're feeling inhibited to express that or if you're feeling, you're unable to communicate that then there's a, that's a challenge, right? That's a challenge that needs to be worked on and overcome in order to have a good marriage. So communication skills, roles in marriage, relationship with in-laws, because you realize that, yeah, you're just not, you know, it's not marriage and isolation, it's with the extended family in the sense extended the family of the groom, the family of the bride. Everyone is, you know, involved in this is also part of the family. And so there is definitely interactions. There's going to be, you know, there's going to be times when they are involved in certain things in life. And so how do we interact? How do we respond to all that? Because they are family, you know, and they are important to your spouse. And so also your family is important to you. And so how do we deal? How do we interact with each other's extended family? That is also important. So we looked at that. Okay, so then we looked at overcoming the past, which means abuse or trauma or negative experiences, you know, maybe some kind of addictions and what kind of environment we grew up in, which could be influencing us in a very big way. In a big way, when I say big way, I'm saying, you know, it could be in a negative way. So if there's a negative influence because of how we grew up and how we, you know, because of our environment, then we need to obviously break free from that and we also need to work on that. Then we looked at sexual purity. I think this is where we ended last class, right? Where marriage is something that's honorable and sacred in the eyes of God, right? And, you know, he's the one who designed this whole aspect of sex and physical relationship and it is to be sexual intimacy. It is to be between the husband and the wife in the context of marriage. So if there's anything else that is going on in life, you know, in a person, like if there are addiction to, you know, maybe pornography and masturbation and if somebody's, you know, just so addicted to looking at sexually explicit movies and so on, need to break free from that. I need to get help to break free from that and not say, okay, marriage will fix it. Marriage will not fix it. Marriage is just expose that and all those things will come to the surface, right? So the importance of living a sexually pure life, right? And also, the other thing is also true in the sense that to be able to express oneself in the context of marriage to be able to, you know, not have any fears about physical intimacy, about sexual intimacy, right? So maybe because of the past, maybe because of something traumatic which happened and well, if one is saying that I don't want, you know, physical intimacy in marriage then there's a problem, right? Because God has designed marriage to be that way. So in such cases also, one needs to prepare in the sense get help, maybe get counsel and overcome those things, right? Okay, so that's where we stop. So today we'll continue. In your notes, we're looking at chapter, what chapter is it? I think preparing for marriage, right? Chapter two, and we're looking at the seventh topic which is Christian maturity, calling and ministry, okay? So Christian maturity, calling and ministry, right? So in Ephesians four, we see that each one of us like the Lord has placed the five-fold ministry in the church in order to build up the church, which means the church, meaning the body of believers, so that each one of us will come to the fullness of understanding Christ, will come to the maturity of... let me just read that verse, verse 12, for the equipping of the saints for the work of ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ. Verse 13, this is Ephesians four, verse 13, for till we all come to the unity of the faith, of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a perfect man, to the mature of the stature of the fullness of Christ, that we should no longer be children, tossed to and fro, carried about with every wind of doctrine by the trickery of men in the cunning craftiness of deceitful plotting. So what is God's desire? God's desire is that the body of Christ come to a place of maturity and the body of Christ is like you and I, we are all believers in the body of Christ, we are all part of the spiritual body of Christ. So God's will and God's desire is that every believer come to a place of maturity, every believer come to a place of understanding, not being children, being tossed to and fro by every wind of doctrine, but to come to a place of serving, to come to a place of, you know, to the work of ministry, to do the work of ministry. Now let's say in marriage also, so we need to have a plan and understanding that, okay, this is how I was, this is how I was growing spiritually when I'm single, now how do I continue to do that when I'm married? Okay, the thing is this, because there is, definitely there are additional responsibilities in marriage where you're looking after the home and then maybe when children come, additional responsibilities of parenting and all that. So just need to think, you know, how will I continue? How can I ensure that I continue to grow spiritually along with my spouse, right? And how can we help each other? Maybe, you know, it's ideal if, it will be great if both are in the same level of spiritual maturity and spiritual hunger and growing in Christlikeness, but if not, you know, how can we help one another? Okay, so to think about that and to prepare oneself for that, okay. So what about God's call, right? Maybe God has called you for a specific role and function. So maybe God has called your spouse for a specific role and function in the body of Christ. So how can we help one another, right? How can you help one another? You know, do you understand God's call for your spouse to be or a spouse, right? Have you even talked about it, right? Because one can be very, get very frustrated spiritually saying, hey, you know, this is what I feel God's call is. You know, I've heard people say, you know, if only I didn't get married, I would have been doing great things in the ministry. If I didn't get married, I would have been, you know, doing this and that and the other. But the fact is this, that God who designed, you know, God had called us for ministry, is the one who designed marriage and he's the one who placed us in families, right? So it's the same God. So which means that marriage is important in God's eyes, family is important in God's eyes. So we can't say, if I was not married, then I'll be doing great things for God. I've been hindered by, you know, here are all these things, right? I've been really greatly this thing, not been encouraged by my spouse, been held with help, probably it's true. So therefore the importance of, you know, preparing oneself for that and even talking about it and planning about it. You know, when we plan for the wedding, you know, there's a lot of things that we talk about. So why not this, right? As believers, as believing, as a believing couple, planning to get married and talk about that. What is God calling you to be and what does God call you to do and see, you know, we're going to look at compatibility in our next chapter and this is one of the things which is very, very important, okay? And also to see that, okay, if, you know, together, what can we do together to further God's kingdom? Is there something that God is calling us to do together as a couple? So, you know, think about that, prepare oneself for that, right? So we looked at seven areas, like broad areas where one can prepare oneself before marriage, okay? So for those of us, again, you know, those of us who are married, well, these are areas to grow in, right? Maybe we look at some of these areas and we see that, you know, there's a problem here, there's a problem here or maybe we're strong in this particular area, but then there's sadly lacking in this because we never address it, we never talk about it and I've never personally, you know, looked at it this way, well, it's an eye-opener and it's a call, you know, it's an invitation for us to grow in these areas and to change in these areas, right? Okay, so, you know, if you see in your notes, you'll see that some very practical things that are given there and this is what we go through, I mean, as in we take couples who are preparing for marriage, we recommend this for them, that they need to spend time studying God's Word, working through these lessons, you know, have open discussions, etc. So it's designed for that, right? So you can just go through, I'm sure you'll find it helpful, okay? Okay, let's move on to, yeah, so I'm just going to leave all that for self-reading, you can just go through the application area and also the, some of these action items that you can go, I'm just going to leave that so that you can go through, right? Okay, just give me a minute, please. Okay, okay, any questions or anything that you might want to share, you could do that, anything at all that, in these areas that we looked at, any questions, any doubts, okay? Pasa, I have a small doubt. Yeah, sure, go ahead, John. Pasa, we spoke about emotional issues in the past, not to be getting carried into the marriage, right? So what if we find an elderly couple, elderly in a sense, six kids, both of them, and they still have that issue, maybe rejection in the past if it's carried into the marriage, causing outburst of wrath and things like that happen in a really bad way. So how can we... Yeah, so that's a very possible scenario, not only for elderly couples and it could also be for any age group and they've done life together for maybe whatever, 20 years, 30 years and then you find that there are certain areas which have not been addressed and because of which there is still, maybe they get back at each other, they get angry and then say, okay, you never do this or you are always been like this and all those kinds of complex things. So yeah, the best way to address that is of course, one thing is if they know that they are lacking in that area and if they feel that, okay, we need help, hey, you know, all these things, this doesn't look good as believers and then they feel that they need help, then we can direct them for help, to a good Christian counselor who can help them address that, who can help walk them through all that, the path of recovery, to see the emotional healing and then address that very main thing. Basically, maybe they're just holding on to certain lies and let a love God's truth to replace those lies and then immediately they will experience freedom or the person will experience freedom and so that is one option. Definitely to do that and also maybe have like a marriage enrichment seminar from time to time or direct them to that, that will also be a great refreshing time where they can celebrate those good things that have happened. That's also important and look at this one area which is causing them a lot of problem and embarrassment and address that and say, okay, it's not too late to change because there's a lot of hope. When we look at scripture, when we look at life examples and we get inspired and say, okay, this has happened to this couple and why not in our lives we can change? So that would be the way to go about. But I think from what you're saying, maybe what would add to the complexity is maybe there's a lot of tradition, there's a lot of stigma. If it's this age group that you're talking about and maybe they're not so open to getting help and talking about marriage. So that would be the first thing, I think. So because that's not, if they are in that age bracket, then obviously they've seen a lot of things and maybe they come from that era where it's not okay to really talk openly about marriage. There's a lot of stigma, shame and all that. So maybe to give them that assurance that it's okay. It's just getting help. It's fine to talk about it. And as a pastor, to give that confidence I think and also that confidentiality. So I think that's the thing, John, first step. Yeah, it's one more just to add to that question. This couple had been in ministry for a long time and they are still in ministry. So there is also that aversion from, it's kind of a built link themselves. They feel like it's too embarrassing for them to get help also. Or they're not willing to talk or counseling or any of that matter. Any gradual way we can... So the thing is they need to have the confidence in the person. Now this also adds to it. They've been in ministry, they are pastors. Obviously it has to be done with a lot of care. I mean this whole process. So from their side also they are very, very hesitant. Whom can we trust? So far we've been examples and leading the... We've been the one who's been giving instructions, but whom can we trust? So it makes it even more complex. But maybe to lead them to someone whom they look up to maybe some ministry couple. So that's why it's important to have that fellowship. That would always help. Gradual way is to just expose them to the truth I think. If there's a forum where... Let's say even a marriage enrichment weekend or marriage enrichment time. We're talking about all these things. And it's a gradual step. We're talking about okay marriage. We're talking this is God's plan. And maybe you could have couples sharing. Young couples, old couples sharing. These are some struggles that we go through. And it won't happen in day one. It might happen after a few months. Where a few months of meeting or exploring God's word, looking at God's truth, allowing God's truth to change. And then saying, okay, we had this challenge, we overcame. Or we still have this challenge. So I think that would be a step in the direction. I think that would help. Yeah, it's possible. Thank you. Okay, so let's move on to the next chapter. I don't have the power point. I hope you got the notes open. So we can look at chapter three. So chapter three is primarily directed to those who are considering marriage. So that's the tone of this entire chapter. But for those of us who are already married. So it's not an encouragement to say, okay, I didn't do this. I made a mistake in this area. So therefore, I need to come out of it. So that's not the intention. The intention is, okay, now what can I do? What can I do to better it? What can I do to strengthen this area? Or maybe, well, I didn't look at it, look at marriage this way. I didn't even consider these possibilities. But despite all that, how can I continue to honor the coming? And how can I strengthen myself and my spouse in these areas so that we can enrich or improve our marriage? So that's how people who are married should look at this whole chapter. So let's look at chapter three. So we're looking at compatibility in the sense, well, when we consider a person, so far we were looking at what we can do to work on ourselves. So now if you're considering someone as a life partner and you are considering several options and looking at certain characteristics and you want to see certain things in them, so what are certain areas to look at? So it's not just that this person is very funny, this person is very handsome or beautiful and has these abilities and skills and talents. I like to spend time with them, so I like to spend the rest of my life with them. That's a very, I don't know, a very superficial way of looking at it. So here are some things to look at. Well, we can look at four areas, four broad areas of compatibility. So I just want to share some scriptures here. If you look at Amos three and verse three. Amos three and verse three, well, it's not in the context of marriage, but really it says can two walk together unless they are in agreement, unless they are agreed. So I'll just read that verse out. Can two walk together unless they are agreed and the good news Bible says, or the message Bible puts it this way, do two people walk hand in hand if you are not going to the same place. So it means that marriage is a covenant. You're saying, okay, we are agreeing to walk together. So despite all differences, we might have a lot of differences and these differences actually attract us to the other person. I'm a very serious person, but the other person is very funny or I'm a quiet person. The other person is very talkative and I see that, oh, hey, this is very different from me. And then you feel drawn to that person. But the thing is we need to look at other areas where you are agreeing upon. We're looking at things the same way. It's not uniformity, but even with our differences in personalities, even with our differences in likes and dislikes, et cetera, we are agreeing to say, okay, despite the differences, we can agree on this. This is what we can agree on it. So it's a place of agreement. It's an ability to be at a place of agreement to be yoked together. It's a covenant because you yoked together. So we will not be an exact copy of the other person. We will not be, but to come to a place of understanding. We see the differences. We celebrate the differences. We see the common things. We see those things that are the common ground and we say, okay, we are agreeing to walk together. I see the differences, but we are agreeing to walk together. So when it comes to compatibility, the first area that we can look at is spiritual compatibility. So what do we mean by that? First of all, we are actually laying the foundation that we need to be making this marriage covenant to a believer. I think we addressed that in the earlier sessions, earlier classes. We cannot be unequally yoked with someone who does not believe. When you say who does not believe that, yeah, so Sid Kano says, people say that opposers attract. Yeah, very true. But in life, after making the covenant, opposites also, there's a lot of fire and explosions and whatnot because of the differences, like sharp differences. Why are you like this? Why are you so different? Why can't you be like me? That never happens during the courtship. That happens only after you make the covenant and you spend some time. Why are you like this? Why do you always, why is the other thing always messy? Why can't you be orderly like me? Things like that. So the first area of compatibility is spiritual compatibility. So when we say spiritual compatibility, we are saying that one common ground is both our believers. The person whom you are considering has to be a believer. That's a very, very important aspect. So otherwise, there's going to be, we could say that person is a very nice person, kind person, very patient person, very noble person, but you're going to be pulling in different directions. Either you are going to be, they're going to be differences. So that's a given. What is a given? What is the understanding that both have to be believers? Now, even when both are believers, when we say spiritual compatibility, to see, does that person have a similar commitment to Christ? So that's important. Similar commitment, similar passion, similar discipline, these things, does a person have that? So for example, yes, both are believers. Excuse me. So both say, okay, I'm committed. I'm a born again believer. I've received Christ as my Lord and Savior, but if one person is saying, okay, I'm really passionate about Christ, I want to spend time in prayer and worship, and I want to serve in the church where I'm at locally. I want to be involved in ministry. And the other person is saying, it's just one part of my life. I have several other things to do. And for me, my commitment is, okay, I'm in church on Sunday. That's it. Oh yeah, I read the Bible, I pray, but I don't want to go beyond that. So there also, there's incompatibility. So not saying that the marriage will not work, but there are these differences and it's going to create some conflict. So the wife will say, why are you spending time in church all the time? Or the husband will say, why do you want to do this? I don't want to serve. I don't want to relax on a Sunday. Why do you want to do this? So you see all these differences cropping up and so, so spiritual compatibility. So the thing is that the differences can be very sharp and then cause distance between the couple. Now, for those of us who are married, you say, hey, that's my situation. My spouse does not understand the intensity of further or passion that I have for the Lord. I'm here in Bible college and I'm doing this, but where is my spouse? Yeah, she's a good person. He's a good person, believes, but doesn't have the same passion. So what do we do? Of course, we pray. We don't preach at them. The mistake people do is, let me just preach. This is what you need to do. You need to do this. You need to do that. And the person is going further and further away saying, please don't force me. Please don't pressurize me. So the thing is to really be an example first of all. Be an example and also pray. Be an example. Share what God is doing in your life. And slowly open the heart. Let the other person be drawn to Christ or drawn more to Christ and let Allah of the Holy Spirit work on their hearts. So this is something that we need to, it's a journey again. I'm talking to, of course, we're talking about couples who are people who are already in a marriage and you see that there is spiritual incompatibility. So what is the second area? Second area is emotional compatibility or intellectual compatibility. So here also, there can be, there can be this potential for incompatibility. In the sense, what is that other person interested in? Now don't get me wrong. Sometimes it's like, maybe you are interested in music, the other person is not. They're interested in something else. So the areas of interest are different. But is there a mutual understanding and respect intellectually? You're able to express something and the person is able to understand that. So when it comes to multi or multi-cultural, multi-ethnic or racial marriages, this is a very important aspect. Because the language is also very important. So the language you use to communicate and the person understanding you and understanding your language or is that a very difficult thing? They're not able to express themselves. They're not able to express themselves in a manner that they want to be understood. So there's incompatibility this way. So emotional incompatibility happens. So it's again, it's a journey. So we need to make that journey. Other things, common areas of interest that you talk about that you can relate to. So what happens is during courtship, the other person just makes an attempt or tries to be interested or just forces themselves and says, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then listens to every conversation and it's like, wow, I'm just holding on to, hanging on to every word. And then it's like, totally different after marriage. And then you see that, okay, I'm actually not interested in this. Please don't bother me with this. I find that boring even. And then there is no, there's no common ground. So is there any activity that you can say, okay, I can do this together? Let's say you can, both of you like to read or both of you like to watch certain kinds of films maybe, documentaries or whatever even movies. There's some common ground. So that's very important. To find out, that's very important to see that, okay, I'm able to connect to this person. So that's important. Okay, for those of us who are married, again, this is an effort that we can probably make, that we can take in order to understand in order to we may not have the same interests or the same level of interest in certain areas, certain activities, but we can make an attempt. We can make an effort. Like for example, me and my wife because I listen to music and, you know, all that. And my wife is interested in gardening. She likes plants. For me, gardening is like, I like trees. I like, you know, like macro level nature. But so when I look at some leaves, you know, I'm not like very excited the way she is. She likes to gift plants to people and all that. So slowly I'm trying to understand, okay, okay, I'm trying to understand, okay, there are different kinds of plants. These leaves are shaped differently. Okay, they are different names. Okay, so those kind of, you know, I'm just trying to learn and also see, okay, maybe I can, if I gift a plant, maybe she'll get, she'll be happy. So, so doing that, right. So I always knew that, you know, the family and she was interested in gardening, but like over a period of time, I realized that she's really, really, really loves plants and et cetera. In fact, sometimes in our homes, these plants get a wash, so I'm just opening the washroom and it's full of plants, they're all getting their bath, you know, and there's no space for me, right. So, so that also happens. So, yeah, so the thing is, you know, we have common ground. Of course, both of us, you know, when it comes to food, we like, we like food and you know, we like eating out, we like spicy food, extremely spicy food. So we have all this, so we compare notes, we talk about that, we like watching certain, you know, programs together. So we do that. So, these are things, right. So, as married people, you know, if you find that, okay, there's an area of compatibility, incompatibility or differences, I won't say, you know, even say incompatible differences, you know, these are areas to grow in. Make an attempt, find out, get interested. Maybe, maybe, maybe you're not passionate about it, but these are something you can learn, right. And, and it can be a common ground and it can be a, it can be a thing, you can be a learner, you can ask you know, and then it can be a common ground, it can be a common point of conversation, right. And you're getting to know, understand and so on. Okay, so second one, emotional and intellectual compatibility. Third one is physical compatibility. Okay, the Lord has designed us in a way to be attracted to each other physically, right. So, you know, there's nothing wrong in that, right, when you're considering a person for marriage and you've prayed and asked and all that. So, there's nothing wrong in being physically attracted to that person, okay. So, appreciating the other person's beauty, physical beauty, there's nothing wrong in that. So, physically, you know, if you're saying that, okay, I don't, I'm not even going to consider that area, then we're not being really truthful to ourselves, right. So, that's another area of compatibility if you're saying you know, saying that, okay, that's an area which is which is important as well. So, that is not the only thing but that is one of the things, one of the areas one has to look at compatibility also and be truthful to oneself, right. Okay. Then, the fourth area is compatibility in life's calling. So, this is a big one, right, life's calling and it can it can create a lot of tension, it can create a lot of conflicts if you've not really considered this, right. So, let's say, one of the husband is you know, you know, feels that he's called to be in a city in an urban setting as a working professional, you know, good believer but he feels that he's called to that, you know, that particular area. Urban setting, professional, working professional and wants to serve God. Whereas the wife, or the wife to be, feels that well, I feel that I'm called to, you know, to these villages. You know, I'm called to really minister there, called to be there even and maybe you know, uplift some of those things, break social taboos and I'm called to bring in change there right and these two people are considering marriage. Now, this is a very important area to talk about and say, okay, I feel this is what God has called me to do. So, you know, sometimes the, if you're not being honest and truthful, you might say, okay maybe that will change. You know, let's say the husband, I mean the guy feels that yeah, I know she feels this way, but then once she gets married to me and then we live in the city, maybe she'll change. I mean, that's a big, big gamble right, or maybe the girl feels that, okay, I know that he's a city the thing, but then, you know, once he gets to know, I mean, once he once we once we are married and then I talk about this and once he sees those, you know, my work and ministry and my heart for ministry and maybe he'll change and he'll come. That's again a big, big if that is there, if that happens then it'll be good. But then let's say it doesn't happen at all. Both of them are stuck and what they know, you know, and that is this is God's call for them. But then if it's going to be every day they're going to be, one of them is going to be wilting. One of them is, okay is in their area where God has called them to be and they feel that okay they can do great things and they are thriving whereas the other person feels limited, feels withheld from whatever God has called them. Feels that, you know, I'm supposed to be doing this, I'm not doing this and I feel very frustrated. I don't feel a sense of purpose. Yeah, I know this person loves me, cares for me, etc. and we are living a good comfortable life but then I'm actually called to do this and I'm doing something else. So that's that can be an area of incompatibility. Okay, so one needs to talk about this and find out or consider, you know what is this person's, even before making a commitment, even before courtship time and what is your life's calling, you know what are you called to do and be honest about it and not say things that will please the other person. Okay, well if there is no specific call or you're saying that I'm still considering, I'm still exploring I know I want to serve God but I don't in what way, what form I mean that season of life then then it's perfectly alright but this is another area to consider as an area which needs to be considered for compatibility. Okay, so what if there are some red flags or some signs where you see that okay, these could be potential areas okay, so what are some areas to consider? So we look at these four broad classifications or areas to consider for compatibility and some specifics if you want to look at you know, some things are is that person some questions to really consider is the person mature? Is the person mature enough to handle responsibilities? The responsibility of marriage, okay? So it could be a great person it could be a fun person very lively etc. But is that person mature to handle this? Right? Or is the person still childish and immature to handle responsibilities or does not want to handle any kind of responsibility and so on marriage, family okay second one is is the person serious about preparing for marriage? Okay, so nobody is like fully prepared, fully equipped and perfect so second thing to consider is the person prepared, you know or is the person prepared like some of the things we looked at with regard to work, financially emotionally right? The problem areas to be worked at or working on okay so is the person willing to give time right to do that so preparation or lack of it, okay? And another thing, you know, are there character weaknesses like temperamentally you know, sometimes they say like especially in Indian Tamil culture, you know that person is gold, you know it's like fantastic but he gets very angry you know, he just gets angry and when he gets angry he just loses control he's just throwing things and breaking things but he's got a good heart Hey, that's a red flag right? There's a red flag right there and the Bible talks about a man who cannot rule his his own self it's like a city without walls where you just open up your life for any kind of attack, any kind of invasion there's no, you know, the person is going to be in some problem or the other because of this issue of anger and rage okay? So the thing is this, you know are there any addictions emotional issues which is causing this character weakness and is the person doing something about it aware of it, doing something about it being aware itself is the first step and the second step is to do something about it being willing to get help, being willing to change being teachable so that's another area I guess we'll stop here and then we'll continue with, you know, some more red flags or some more things to signs to watch out for and to consider, right? Okay, so we'll take 10 minutes break and then we'll come back