 Let me ask you a question. Do you in your day ever get to the point where you feel, I'm finished. I'm finished now. I'm completed. Everything's done. Do you have that thought? Do you have that feeling? When I talk to people I find that that's actually quite a rare feeling. We don't get to a point definitively where we can sit and say, I'm finished. Everything's done. And if that's an issue for you, there is a huge value in getting this insight that it's so important for you on a daily basis to get to the point where you feel completely finished. Where you put everything aside and you just sit with, there's nothing left for me to do now. If we don't get to that point, it's like the nervous system never gets the off signal, constantly on. There's something remaining to be done that's not finished. It's not complete. So the nervous system can't actually switch off and relax. I'm going to give it a little bit of a tip here in terms of why do we struggle to get to that feeling so often? Why do we never feel finished? In my experience, the big reason for that is that we make these big, big plans for ourselves and we're constantly asking, what's the most I can do? How can I get the most out of this day? We have a whole host of emotional needs. In my model that I use, we have five basic emotional needs that unless we meet and meet well, we won't feel complete. We'll feel conflicted within ourselves. And in the process of meeting these emotional needs for ourselves, one of the big mistakes we make is we say to ourselves, okay, I have these emotional needs. What is the most I can give when meeting these needs? So I'll feel more fulfilled. And in my view, that's the wrong approach to take with these emotional needs. Yes, we do have these emotional needs, they're not going anywhere. We do have a responsibility to meet these needs. But if our approach is, I'm going to, what's the most I can give? We sort of set ourselves up for failure in that we become, maybe in parenting, you've heard the concept of the good enough parent. The parent who feels that they're never good enough needs to switch the attitude of I'm good enough. Likewise, when we're self-parenting, which is to meet our own emotional needs, we need to switch from this, what's the most I can give to? Here's the right question. What is the least I can give to these emotional needs while still meeting them? We become a good enough self-parent rather than constantly berating ourselves for not having done enough. Balancing your emotional needs is not an easy task. Life is full of complications, distractions, we almost invariably do not have as much time as we think we do to meet these emotional needs. So the approach I advocate is, what's the least I can do to meet each of them, and that's just to even to just validate them sometimes or to give a small amount of time and energy to each of these emotional needs, rather than the whole thing of hours at a time on each emotional need and then never actually completing or meeting all of your emotional needs. And then some of the emotional needs feel neglected and resentful and they resist any effort you have to meet the other emotional needs and there's this internal conflict that comes about. So the approach is to meet these needs with just a small amount of time and energy. Make all the needs validated so that there's less conflict now. Each need has been validated and we get to a point where we feel, okay, have I given these emotional needs everything? No, but all of my emotional needs have been validated, they've all been given something and now they all become more cooperative rather than competitive with each other. So really all I'm saying here is drop the big plans rather than saying I should do this, I should do this, I should do that, I should do so much for these emotional needs. What if we just had an easy achievable goal to meet these emotional needs consistently with little time, little effort and see how that approach works. See then that the emotional needs will start to feel validated and become more cooperative with one another, we have less internal conflict and we get to the point where we feel, well look, I've made some progress or I have met this emotional need to at least some degree and then maybe after you've met the emotional needs to that standard, that easily achievable standard, you now enter this period of a bonus territory where anything else I do now for each of these emotional needs is just considered an extra rather than something that I have to do, this unachievable unrealistic goal that I have for myself. So the takeaway from this video is tell yourself or ask yourself what is the least I can do to meet each of my emotional needs, to validate them so that I will get out of conflict and have a sense that, huh, okay, I didn't do really an awful lot today but I did something and now I'm finished. If I do nothing else for today, that's okay, I did something. Rather than really, really working hard all day long and just because you haven't got that last little thing ticked off the list even though you've been super busy, super energetic meeting your needs, still feeling that sense of awful that didn't get everything completed. That's not healthy for us. So this is a self parenting video to become, forget being a great perfect self parent, be the good enough self parent and there's a lot more compassion in that, there's a lot more encouragement for yourself and there's a lot more celebration for the things you do rather than emphasis on the things that you didn't get to do. So bear that in mind guys, the question again is what is the least I can do to meet these emotional needs and I think that will be much, much more helpful. Any feedback, leave a comment below and as always thanks so much for being with me and I'll see you next time. Bye for now.