 Hey YouTube! So you have your essay draft or an outline. You're committed to a topic and that you want to make sure the essay pops. State to the end and you'll receive three editing hacks to improve your essay now. Thank you for joining me on my channel for the best college essay advice. Subscribe and hit the bell to be notified when I post a new video every Tuesday. There are three editing tips that will completely elevate your writing, adding dimension and flow and I'm going to show you those today. Hi, I'm Dr. Josie with Write Your Acceptance. As a university faculty member, I teach writing for a living and I work with students on their college essays. I know how to make the admission officers remember you and now it's your turn. Tip one, add an image-driven dependent clause especially when you're telling a story. So when you want to punch up the narrative and those moments when you're kind of giving these short anecdotes, these mini stories, you want to add very heavy image-driven examples and so I have an example myself. So let's say your sentence is, I was excited to learn about business at my new internship. So we would add a fragment, a dependent clause right at the beginning, that adds some more kind of image to the sentence. For example, with clammy hands and flushed cheeks, I was nervous yet ready to learn about finance at my new internship. So with clammy hands, writing flushed cheeks, so we're seeing kind of attributes of anxiety, nervousness, healthy energy and so we're adding that just as a phrase right at the beginning. A second example, let's say this is your line. I was standing behind my lemonade stand selling to anyone passing by and so you want to add a phrase that is image-driven right at the beginning that maybe would age you so that we know how old or kind of like you know what you are looking like in this moment. So the example would be with bouncing pony and my wrinkled school uniform, I stood behind my lemonade stand and sold to everyone walking by. So all of a sudden we have a kind of a more youthful look right from the fragment that you add to two. Start with a gerund so a verb that ends with ing to add action to any line. So an example let's say this is your line. I love to experiment with southern cuisine and share recipes with my friends and family or something like that. So you would add, adding a pinch of Cajun powder, I love to experiment with southern dishes and share my revised gumbo and hot shrimp recipes with friends and family. So notice how I added as if you were cooking in the line right so adding a pinch of whatever ingredient you would use and then instead of just saying southern dishes I added a couple of examples. Example number two your line is I was watching my friends as they were running on the field and I figured that I was where I needed to be and so you want to add that gerund right a verb that ends in ing to start the line and add some action. So watching my friends run on the field I knew I was where I needed to be. Really that was kind of clarifying the image but then also cleaning up some language. So a lot less helping verbs, less words and you carry out the same message. Are you stuck on an awkward line in your essay? Comment below I'd love to help. So tip three but kind of related to tip two reduce the number of helping verbs whenever you can. So all your was and were I was walking I was running just I ran I walked and for the most part when you're telling a story you want to stick to past tense in the verbs. So your example I was frustrated because I was teaching pottery to fifth graders and they were not paying attention. Teaching pottery to fifth graders proved more challenging than expected as their attention diverted to any distraction available. If you want to learn more techniques and tricks on how to improve on a sentence level or how to structure your essay add diversity no matter your background definitely download the free essay guide in the description below and you'll have that there. If you like this video please give us a like please share with your college bound friends comment below any awkward lines and I'd love to help I'll see you soon.