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I'm good thank you. Good to see you. Nice to be on mate. Nice to be on. That's in great Korea first of all. Loverpool Boys you started at youth team released and then out the lower leagues. League 2, League 1 kinda screwed the head at 27 and then bang scoring goals for fun. England call-up, Loverpool kind of living your dreams. Just it's that fairy tales that is an unbelievable story. Yeah it's not your normal football career is it? It's not it's not your average career. Normally it's one or the other round. League 2, League 1 for years and then oh yeah yeah at the top. I went from the bottom to the top but it wasn't that I just don't from the bottom to the top. It was how long I stayed there and I think that was a little bit different about my career. How long I actually stayed in the depths of the pyramid. So then finally yeah to get up was it was incredible. It was incredible. Before we get into it I was like to go back to the start of my guess. Get a bit of understanding about you, where you grew up and how it all began. Grew up from Bill Bourne and KB, West Vale, Stanton Crescent, lived in Minan's till I was about nine and now my mum said there was seven but I'm sure it's a bit older than that. I lived in Minan's until it was nine and then moved out to Whitefield Drive and the good thing about moving to Whitefield Drive, anyone from KB will know this is that KB Sports Centre was facing her. I lived in Masonette's Faces and then an Astro Turf got got built right in front of my house as at the time I was moving into the into the house or that has a massive part to play in my football career but I loved it. I loved my time in KB. It had everything because the kids, the KB Sports Centre, swimming bats, it was it was it was brilliant. Milbruch, went to Milbruch again in West Vale, still friends with all the lads who were met, who was in my class, these were about ten of us, still very close. Went to and then went on to Ruffwood School. Yeah, didn't didn't really like me ten years as much but no mate I love KB, love KB and you didn't realise what KB was about until maybe you left it but I wouldn't have chosen it anyway. What about mum and dad? Mum and dad, my dad was a farmer early days until that got took away from him. I think immigration played a big part in it obviously paying them a lot less than my dad so my dad had to go with the places. I mean mum never really worked, I think she worked when I was young but throughout my life she was a home mum. Yeah amazing amazing parents. My mum was so loving. I was speaking to the other day actually, she had a big part to play in my self-belief which I call now manifestation. I think she was a massive part to play in that. We had no money but they gave me everything they needed, they gave me football, they made sure I was at every training session, every football game and they was there for me, they were amazing. What was your first football team? Shevinson Park, under eight, my neighbour Leon Edwards who's still one of my best friends was playing he was the goalkeeper so he took me so I was desperate to get involved so it was on to me mum and dad I want to play football, I want to play football. I think my dad said I had so much energy, whatever he put me in I was going to succeed because the amount of energy I had. So when Leon took me with his dad to training session one day I can still remember it now, I was eight, I still remember it, I was this new kid, stuff like that and from that day mate I just fell in love with football. Stryker? Yes, yes I had a good kick. You're a big lad now, you're a big boy then? Yes I was, not so much at eight but 10, 11 I was much bigger, much faster, much stronger than everyone else but my main difference to everyone was my right foot, I could kick it like a fella at about 10. So did you start getting the buzz for football or did you just go through the motions, did you realise you were a player at a young age? I knew it came straight away, I was better than most, didn't think I was unbelievable but I thought I was better than most but I knew that I loved it more than anyone, I knew that straight away. And you went to Overpool at Levens? 10 yeah, 10-11 played in the final against Crosby Stewart in Ainsdale and the Liverpool scout Dave Shannon, I think it was, he picked me up, sent me to Trials and it was the best moment of my life, it was incredible, obviously to get Trials for Liverpool, I was a massive Liverpool fan so the Naves were there but yeah I managed to get a contact so that was it was amazing for me mum and dad, my mum and dad were overjoyed, overjoyed yeah. And you're there for the four years? Four or five years, 10 to 15, first two, three years loved it, loved it, learned so much, I was obviously physically, I was one of the better ones as well so I was more than capable of being a starter. As 13, 14, 15 came and the change happened, I fell well behind, everyone caught up, not only did I, everyone catch up, I fell behind in the fitness and the speed and strength so all I had then, which was my technical ability, which all of the Liverpool lads at anyway, so that's when I started falling behind, not playing so much and it was only a matter of times before I got let go to be fair. And what was that feeling getting let go? It's absolutely devastating, absolutely devastating, I didn't think it would ever get worse than that ever and I don't, you know what, I don't even think it, I don't, all the moments I've had let downs and knockbacks I've had in my life, that was probably the most devastating one because I thought it was, that was it, that was my dream over, I was gonna obviously play football but to be a professional footballer, that was it, he was telling me I wasn't good enough so to get told that by it was Steve Ayer at the time, but Liverpool, it was Liverpool, it was Liverpool telling me you're good but you're just not good for Liverpool, they're good enough for Liverpool, it was a hard pill to swallow, went home crying my eyes out, what made you keep going? Me dad, me mum and dad, mum and dad, me dad came up to me and said listen proved them wrong, proved them wrong, didn't take much notice to it, at first he said you'll go again, go again, you'll find someone else and you'll prove these wrong and that was it, that was it, sent me on the journey, went straight to Blackpool because we made Danny Coyd who was at Liverpool with me, he got let go before me, went to Blackpool so he was already a route straight back into football, went straight to Blackpool and that's how my career with Blackpool started. Who was that for you? I loved it, so it done me white yes at Blackpool, 16 to 18, we lived in Blackpool with, said there was two digs, a set of eight and a set of eight, round the corner from each other, so that was carnage but it was absolutely, it was brilliant, Blackpool was a good city to grow up in at that time. Because a few of your interviews with Matty, you liked a good baby, when did you start drinking? I remember having my first drink with Steve Lafferty, I think I was 10 or 11. Do you know of them old globes that people had in the houses? I think I drank all the vodka from one of them, me and him, took turns to peace and we just spewed everything, I think that was my first drink and then I think I liked to drink from very early on. How do you think that is? The culture of Caby and my family, I had a massive family, so they'd always get together, my nan had 11 children and all of them came to her house, obviously when I was 89, I lived there till I was 89, so it was just massive get-togethers and then when we moved out it was parties or and it was just drinking, it was just everyone was having a good time and so I early on associated having a good time with having a drink, that was my association with it and whenever there was a free bottle on the table I would go over and have a little swing when I was even like 12, 13, 14 and my parents would laugh at me, stop me, laugh at me, go have you seen him? I think the first time I got drunk was about 14, I think it was at my nan's party, not sure what age he was, yeah I think I'd sneaked enough bottles to get drunk or I was getting bought by my uncles or whatever, so I loved it and then obviously went into football and but at that time drink was everywhere, drink was like the drinking schools were everywhere, Blackpool, when I went to Mattressfield it was a Sunday club, a Tuesday club, so I loved that side, I loved that, I loved that camaraderie where you get together, have a laugh, take the piss out of each other and say stuff that maybe that like you wouldn't say on a day-to-day basis, that training, what needed to be said, I loved that side of it, so I carried that going but what happens is that football was massively changing but I didn't, I carried it on and I think as I go on to say that I was one of my main deterrents to my playing career, what happened after Blackpool? Again fitness, I was never, I was one of the unfittest at the club, I was running with the keepers, now to run with the keepers was an embarrassment but I was running behind the keepers but my ability was there to see, so the word Steve Machman, so Nadja Werenton loved me but Steve Machman was the one who came in and let me go, my idol by the way, my dad's idol but you asked me dad what he thinks is Steve Machman now, he won't be saying the same, so we actually said the words, you've probably got the best ability in this club but you can't do what I want you to do so I'm going to have to let you go, they were the words and I was like I was struggling to take it in that time and at that time I was always blaming other people, always blaming other people but I'll Steve Machman, you don't have a clue, you're wrong and this and that, it wasn't until I was older, until I started looking into myself and that's when me, Chris, didn't truly changed. Who was it getting another rejection, were you thinking? No, devastating, that wasn't so much a devastation because again I thought and I'd just go on to another club, I'll find another club and I'll prove him wrong and that was a strength throughout my career, proving people wrong, proving people wrong, proving managers who let me go or managers who thought it wasn't good enough, there was always proving these people wrong, so when I left Blackpool, I went to Macclesfield again, Darren Connell, who was at Blackpool, left before me, went to Macclesfield so again there was a route for me to go to Macclesfield, it was tough to get to Macclesfield, it's like an hour and 10, with no money it was tough, Darren helped me for a good chunk of it but I started progressing a little bit faster than Darren so that was with the first team, so the transport became a real big problem because I couldn't drive, didn't have any contract, I was on trial for about a year and in the end I was like I can't do this no more, I was working in the beat roof factory with my dad, he was working on the farm, I was working in the beat roof factory, I was helping him on the farm to go and get some cash, 20 quid a day just to get me to Macclesfield, in the end I was actually involved in the first team playing on a non-contract, £50 to have expenses, so I had to go in and say I can't do no more, I'm going to have to give up football, I can't afford him, I'm going to have to go and find a job and then I'll play part-time, that was my plan and then Gil Prescott came to me and said we can offer you 120 quid a week to keep you on at Macclesfield, I think it was six months later, they sold me for £300,000 and to this day it's still the record that they've ever received for a player, so it just shows you how quickly football can change if you're just sticking in it, but it was touching go, that was probably the closest I've ever come to leaving football. What happened then after the £300 grand signing? Went to Stockport, what age were you, 21? 20, 21 yeah, 20, 21, so I still had a lot of money for a young kid then. Yeah, so the pressure was big, under Carl and Parmy, signed a few young talented players, Ben Beages, we had some good players, Kevin Ellison, Aaron Wilberham, John Daly, we had some very good young players, so the squad was good, but he signed, I was playing an attack in my field or a wing at Macclesfield, he signed me as a defensive midfielder to try and be the quarterback because of my right foot, it didn't work out, I wasn't fit enough to do it and my defensive ability just wasn't good enough, so I struggled at Stockport pretty much straight away. Where'd you go after that? I went that bad the last year at Stockport, so I got booed out of the club, got absolutely filified, we all got filified, we were bottom of the table, but I was the captain of the year before we played this season, I got filified the most, that was horrific, horrific experience for me, 22, 23 I was and I couldn't wait to get out of the club, so literally left for nothing, took me for 20 grand, I was gone by this time, mentally gone, I just didn't want to be in football, hated it. Drinking a lot? Yeah, again a lot of lads at the same age, always going out, that's when I think the drinking at home started under Stockport, I had never done that, I would only go out and binge drink, I was a bad binge drinker, it was terrible actually, that's the worst part of me binge drinking, but at Stockport the drinking at home started just to get over what had actually happened in that day, getting abused by the fans, couldn't handle it, couldn't go out, so went to Rochdale, put under Steve Parkland just to get some feelings back. And you played well at Rochdale? Yeah, that's when it started to slowly turn round, the love for football came back, he pushed me further up as a striker and that's when it started scoring goals. Did you start getting a love and a passion back for that? Yeah. How big is that for any football or anyone is to have some sort of passion and not just doing it for a wage? It's everything, it's everything, because I think most of the year's mercenaries out there who play football to make money, but most 40 players that I know play football as a kid because they loved it, because they loved it and now they're making money because they love football, not because they love making money, they love playing football and the good of that, so that the money comes. So I think anyone who's successful at football has to love it, and I mean absolutely love it, more than anything, anything, they have to become self-obsessed with it. So where did you go after? Bristorovos? Bristorovos. Yeah, Bristorovos bought me 250 grand, so my career was starting to pick up again. What age were you then? 24. And that's his league two? League two to another league two team, so but Bristorovos were a big club in league two at that time. Yeah, they've got a big supporter, 10,000 a match. Yes. Then there's a lot. Yeah, no, then they were massive, they were massive, so the pressure on them was to get up massively that season, but they were struggling. And I went and I started terribly at first, I was unfair to get injured in pre-season for Rochdale, and it took me three, four months to catch up, but I did, and then we really started to take off at Bristorovos. The fans took me, I scored a goal against Bristol City in the final, area final of the JPT, and that turned my career around. To this day, I said I was one of the most defining moments in my career, that goal for Bristol Rovers, because they stuck with me, but they were on the verge of getting on my back saying, who have we signed here? So when I scored that goal, that just gave me time and encouragement to play my normal game. They loved me, they was clapping me, started singing my name, and my game just took off from there. How much pressure's on a young kid? See, if you get signed for 300 grand, which is nothing now compared to today's money, but how much pressure becomes on your shoulders when you're not doing well with your career, you're drinking, you're feeling lazy, you've put on a bit of weight, do you feel that added pressure of trying to fill people as well, where you're trying to pretend that you're on it when you really, you know you're slipping? I didn't. I didn't feel a pressure, I didn't feel a pressure of I'm getting paid by these fans, I need to be professional. I didn't, I just didn't afford to, I'm scoring goals, I'm doing my job, I'm doing good enough to be in this team. I'll do whatever I want. That's the way I thought. So where did you go after Bristow? That's when, so the last season of Bristow scored 29 goals, that's when I think most people started noticing me, even though I score them regularly, that season people started noticing me and Alan powered you, obviously noticed me and wanted me at Charlton but couldn't get me, and when he got let go by Charlton and Southampton took him, he'd come for me first, I was his first signing, and that was it mate, that was the biggest moment of my career going to Southampton, that's when it all changed. Because when you went to Southampton, were you overweight? Yes, 16 stone. That's a big, but you're a big lad anyway, but that's still big for a player. What should you have been about 14 and a half? My peak I was 14 and a half. And when was the moment, what was that feeling like when somebody says listen you fan so you get your ass into a check? That's exactly what it was, that's exactly what it was. Did your ego be dented then? Yeah, because I thought I was, I started scoring straight away, so I was on about eight goals, I was leading goal scorer in the league, so he called me in and he said sit down, so I thought he was going to go well done, how are you enjoying it, like you're doing really well. So when he said come down, come sit down, he went lift your top up. I just looked at him and said what do you mean he said lift your fucking top up? So I went like that and he went see that's what I'm talking about, absolutely fucking disgraced that. And I was like whoa, what? And the fitness coach just stood behind him looking at him going did you know this was coming? And I went what do you mean he went I've been watching you about this city and about this club and the way you handle yourself is a disgrace and the way you eat, the way you drink, he said you think you can do that Southampton, you can do it Prista Rolls, you can do it at Rotter, you can do it in League 2, you can't do it at Southampton. I was like right okay, so what I want you to do, I'll give you six weeks to get that belly off or you're out of this club. So I was like wow, wow. So I was absolutely shook to the core so I went out and I was like looking into the floor, looking at the physio, the fitness coach, Nick, Nick Harvey thinking what I'm gonna do here because all through my career, all my all through my career was like nah, I know better. No, that was probably the first moment I went. Right, I'm gonna listen to him now. I'm gonna listen to him, he's right, he's like everything that he's just said is spot on. It was it was undeniable. So said to Nick, right, what are we gonna do? Get in for eight o'clock tomorrow, we'll do a session before the lads get in for breakfast, then you'll have breakfast with the lads, then you'll train with the lads, then we'll do a session afterwards. I said right, okay, so that's what I did, six weeks, done it, felt like shit, felt like shit, couldn't play, couldn't score, but the gaffer pulled me one time, said listen, I know what you're doing, keep it going, you'll be playing every week, don't worry about it, the goals will come. So after four weeks, four or five weeks, I started to notice a little bit of difference, the weight was off, the muscle was on and I was already a step ahead of everyone in league one, a step ahead of everyone, so when I became fit, I started noticing and training, I started noticing the games, I became two steps ahead of everyone, it just became like a drug, like the biggest drug that anyone's ever had and I just became addicted to it and that's when my career just went like a rocker. All the managers you played under, why listen to him, why listen to those words, because you know yourself, that conversation could have went two ways, about ego, think you know everything, it's a case of fuck you, I'll go somewhere else, you've been to many teams anyway, it's nothing new, but why him, why listen? I think it was the career he's had, he's already had a good career at that point, personally was, but it was the way he told me, he was, I think players, managers, coaches have tried to nicely tell me, you're better than this, what are you doing here, what are you doing, you're better than this, come on mate, you've got to do this, and I was, I took it in, but it wasn't, he made it an ultimatum to me, so I had to, I had to go, he put it on my toes, I had to make a decision and it was the way he told me, so it was, it was a decision I made and like I said, it was the, I put him as the most fan and coach I had in my career. And did you score 38 goals that season? 37. 37, was that the most you'd scored ever in that season, and that was league one? League one. And you didn't even get promoted that year? No. How hard was that to? No, we were minus 15 points, so we went into administration, so he got in the players and the players that he got in were unbelievable, so we knew we were going to get close, well our aim was to get into the playoffs, I think we missed out by one point, and Huddersfield just kept on winning, we kept on winning, and we missed out by one point, it was devastating, absolutely devastating, but we won the JPT that year, so we kind of had the beginnings of something, we knew it, we had the core of players, we had Jose Fonte, Admiral Alana, Morgan Snidland, Kelvin Davis, me, Lee Barnard, we had the core of players, Dean Hammond, core of players, which was unbelievable, like if you see where them players went on to play, it's unbelievable that when you think that they all played together in league one, so we all knew that we had some special. So the next season came, Alan Pard, you fell out with Nicola Cortesi, Nicola Cortesi is a character that is hard to explain, Marmite, very much Marmite, but if I had to go either way I appreciate him for what he did, for me and my family, for me and my life, because he pushed us to a level that I think that we weren't ready, that we didn't think that we were level ready, but his mentality and the way he was as a person would push us on to levels that we got to in the end, but he's a very demanding chairman, so he quickly fell out with Alan Pard, so Alan Pard was gone, Nigel Atkins came in, took him a while to get used to the squad, but once he got us playing, I think Nicola wants to play football, become a total football team and it didn't take as long to do that under Nigel, once Nigel got us playing that was it, that was it, he was not stopping us. Why did you all stay together when the manager went? We joined Alan, I think we joined for the project more. Did you see the vision of where they were going to take us and did you believe in it? Yes, 100%, the self-hampton way. Because if I was being a massive team, obviously Matt Letizzi and he could have went anywhere in the world, a world-class player, so you get promoted League 1 straight into the championship, what was the expectations that you had? Because you went straight up again? Again, my expectation was to get mid-table, most of the players' expectations and when we were doing the bonuses, that's what we were fighting for, but the chairman just laughed at us, saying now you only get bonuses in the top six and we were like you're fucking messing me, we just got you promoted, now we're in the championship and you're saying we won't get any bonuses unless we're in the top six. So we were fuming with that, but again put a subconscious message into us, without us even knowing at the time, we hated them, I hated them, but when I look back it's these subconscious messages that he was putting in which drove us on. We didn't come out to second place, we didn't drop below second place all season, it was unbelievable from about the fifth game in, we knew we were going to get promoted. How hard does the championship this year, it's the hardest league in the world, did you feel that? Oh, you saw above your own ability that you thought this is easy, I deserve to be premiership, did you feel that? Yes. Because you're buying on Twitter goes that season as well. 27, so I knew, I was negotiating with Nicola again, one of the hardest negotiators that you'll ever have to meet, trying to get new contact out of him, so he was like no, no, you'll have this. So I was like, if I have to prove to you, I'm the best player in this league, even though I haven't played a game in it, I'll prove to you as well. So I knew I was the best player in that championship before it even kicked the ball because the preparation I'd done under Nigel Ackens for that preseason, I have never felt as good as that, never, never. Yoga came into my life, meditation came into my life. Who had gained that into you? It was Nigel Ackens, Matt Ratcliffe, the physio, Sarah Ramston, which is a girl, a woman who specialised in yoga, she was coming into the club, but I was going to see her privately. It was the team that Southampton had was a team that you could only wish for. Honest to God, I put everything, all my success down to the people who were at Southampton and the fans. It was a perfect mix for me, absolutely perfect mix. They pointed me in the right direction at the right time to meet the right people. I was in the state of mind to listen to them, acknowledge what they're actually saying. And it was a perfect combination. So the physical shape I felt that season was incredible. So I knew I was going to smash that league. I absolutely smashed her, I think I'd done 27 goals and 14 assists, which was the leading goal count until Mitovich beat her I think last season. Well, pretend we weren't records problem. Realistically, you think you bastard, mate, get injured? Because I listen to people, I listen to even the snooker, I watch any sport, but I watch the snooker, Ronnie O'Sullivan's playing. And Stephen Henry, you can tell or they're talking about breaking records, you can tell it. I don't want any record that you've got for me personally. I wouldn't want anybody to break it. I don't give a fuck. It's not a case at all. Yeah, good luck to him. I hope he does that. I hope he gets injured, I'd be saying. No, I think you're spot on, mate. I think everyone's like that. But the two nice did just say that what you just said. And that's exactly what they're thinking. That's exactly what I was thinking. But all the numbers he was getting, I knew he was going to smash her, not just beat it, but smash it. And he did. So fair play to him, but yeah, I was gutted. Yeah. So how was your drinking then? Was it your balance, everything? Was it yoga, meditation? Under Nigel and under Padu, under Nigel, the drinking was still there. Even in house drinking was still there. And the binge drinking, the binge drinking was again, still a problem. Binge drinking with me, it's horrible. That's the hardest thing I've had to change in myself is the drinking, and especially the binge drinking. Because the person I become when I binge drink is not the person I want to associate myself with. And that was the person people was associating with me because that's the actions I was seeing. That's the way that I was using. I was always upsetting someone, always saying something that I shouldn't have said, always waking up, not having a clue what I'd said, what I'd done. It was embarrassing. Embarrassing. It took years and years to get out of that system, to get out of that, them actions. And that, I do regret that so much is the binge drinking. And that only stopped a few years ago, a few years ago. Thankfully, I've got it under control. But the drinking at that time was still going on. Yeah. What about when you went to the Premiership? What was that feeling like knowing you were going to the Premiership? Everything you've ever dreamed of as a kid. Everything's kind of came into play, 27, 28 then. Yes. What was that feeling for you, your first game Premiership? Amazing. Amazing. So. Did you feel as if you arrived at home? Yes. I felt all I felt 10 foot tall and then the manager pulled me to one side saying you're on the bench tomorrow. Why? After scoring 56 the goals in two seasons? Yeah. Yeah. So I can remember just going blary and just filled with rage. I can't remember exactly what he was saying to me to be honest. But I think it was along the lines of Guru Lee De Prado is going to play because he can get into the channels and we need to spread them. And you know what? When I look back, it was probably spot on what he was saying. But at the time, I just took it personal. And I just said, what I'd said to Nicola and what I'd said to the manager, if I need to prove to you that I'm good enough for this league, I'll prove to you. Prove to Nicola the season before because he was trying to get rid of me in the championship. So now if you're trying to get rid of me in the Premiership, I'll prove to you that I'm the best striker for this club in the Premier League. He's like, it's not like that. It's not like that. I was like, it is. It is. It's exactly what it is. Two years I've had under you and what I've done to get this club promoted. And then the first sense of Premier League football, you show the world that I'm on the bench. So that sends a message out straight away that you think I'm not good enough and I've done it. Everything that I've needed to do, you think I've already done it. So I'll prove you wrong as well. So I was a caged animal on that bench. Absolute caged animal. I could not wait to go on the pitch. Do you think you could have done that because he knows how your mindset worked? Yes. I'm going to show you a cunt. You think he would show me? Maybe he knows exactly who you were as a person because you're always trying to prove to someone that was a tactic to keep him on the bench because he knows like you say, caged animal, I'm going to prove to you your cunt. Yes. The tactical side also, but also, yes, maybe. Because he did say the way I want to bring you on with the score still close. And it was. They were winning 1-0, so it was close. So when I look back, it did make sense. But like I said, I took it too personal. I took it very personal. And when I came on, like I said, it took me two minutes to score. I was just based just the feeling when it dropped. And then I knew it was in before it kicked in. I knew it was in. So all my life was leading up. I was like, right, Premier League, Premier League. I'm going to have to, I'm going to have to do it again. And then the ball drops you. And then you see it, the net. And then that turn and all my fans are there, Southampton fans are there. It was incredible. I never thought that moment would ever get beaten. I thought that moment was the pinnacle of my career. The best moment to my football career. And it would never, ever be beaten. It was an incredible moment. So 10, do you feel as if you were, if you'd done everything that you'd done at 25, 26, 27, you'd have been in the Premier League 10 years earlier. How does that mindset, looking back at that, do you feel as if you didn't yourself as justice or did you feel as if it was just the way your cards were played out? No, I did do myself an injustice 100%. But when I say that, my mind was, my mind, my mentality was my mentality. So it's hard to say, it's hard, it's hard, it's hard to understand. Because I can remember myself at 20, I can remember myself at 22. It's hard to think that person was able to change at that age because he wasn't. So I wasn't ready for it. So my career was probably exactly the way it should have been. And I said to you before, the impact I had on the Premier League was probably bigger than if I had looked after myself better, got to the Premier League earlier than what I did because I probably would have played more games, made a lot more money, but the impact would have, I don't think it would have been as big. Well, because I'd been held back by myself for so long, so long, I was like a spring. So when you did finally let go, it reached heights that probably I wouldn't have got to if I got to the Premier League earlier. Were you at four years in the Premier League with Southampton? No, two years with Southampton, one year with Liverpool, one year with West Brom. What was it like at Southampton for the two years? Amazing. Amazing, the best time in my career. Yeah, especially under Mauricio Potatino. How good is Potatino? Amazing. Is it? Yes. Tactical genius. Tactical genius, but unbelievable in my management as well. Because we had to just finish in a league, you just finished high up. We finished eighth, it was our highest ever at that time. It was our highest ever finish in the Premier League. So it was an unbelievable achievement and he brought in football that I think has been replicated since. Like he said that he changed the Premier League and I think he got laughed at, but I think what if you look back at the time at that Southampton team, what he did and the way they played and the way they pressed, a lot of teams have replicated it since and a lot of chairman have looked the managers who play exactly that style. How good was Alana? It was unbelievable. Did you know he was a player in League One? Yes, yeah. Because League One, you know yourself, people can't, they can't usually kick on, but that team kicked on, but he had four or five players who then fucking spread their wings and went mega. Did you know that he was, he's got something? Do you know a player, anybody who's ever played that I can't understand football, we just know someone's got something, but whether they kick on is a different ball game. Did you know that he was special as well? From the first training session I knew he was special. His touch is the best I've ever seen. His vision is passing everything and in the games they don't want to keep on holding because when they went into the administration, I think it was QPR who wanted him and it's trying to get him and he was a little bit down, he's been relegated he was a little bit under pressure, but I think he came round and he could see the vision at Southampton. So when we knew that we kept him, my first thought was how can I get the ball to Adam? That was it. He was that good. So he was the, he was that good in League One, but he was slight, he was nimble. When he became, when he got to the Premier League, he was a man, he was a captain. He was, he was like under Positino physically, like Positino got everyone like an animal. He was unbelievable. He was unstoppable. So when he got to the Premier League and when you get to the Premier League, it's weird because you don't, you get more time in the Premier League if you can control the ball. Well, as soon as you miss control it, bang, it's gone and they'll go and score, but if you can control it, they give you the respect. So I think it became easier for Adam to how he went up because his, his control was impeccable or even under pressure. So we had more time to do what he could do with the ball and he was just, I think he got a team in a year, the first season in the Premier League, which is incredible. What was it like scoring 100th goal for Southampton? Yeah, it was, it was good, but it was in a loss. It was in a loss. So it was, it was against Newcastle 4-2 away, but what, what was a better moment than that is that the lads got me a top, I've got it in the house, their tongue up in the wall with a 100 on and he's all signed and put messages and they gave it to me in the dressing room. I think it was on the Monday after and that touch like that meant more to me than scoring the goal. Because I could see, I could then see, oh God, it is a good, it's a good achievement, it's what I've done for this club. It's like I've not only scored the under goals of, like them goals have helped this club get to these players where, where they are today. So when the Liverpool come knocking with, did you ever think that would happen? No. Were you 31? 32. It's fucking mad. It is mad when you think about it from the lower leagues to Rochdale to absolutely thinking, I can't do this anymore to put an on weight to them becoming leading goalscorer, both divisions going to the Premier Division and then one of the biggest teams on the planet, Liverpool. Yeah. So I just go back under Marishel, me drinking was the best it's ever been. Who, who was that down to you? I was down to his Reggie. Now physically I couldn't do it. I literally could not have a drink and then get into that team. He was in every day and the training was ridiculous. Do some managers demand more of you? Do they know? Because anybody, you can tell the hangover or someone slipping you think he's offered today. Could you not afford to have any slip-ups, not even an inch to give away? No, no, no. Is that a good manager for you who sees the things same as Alex Ferguson and the shit that went on it, Man United, but he kept it on a leash. Do you believe that's a good manager who understands the players more, people kind of understanding the person instead of... There's a lot of managers who pretend to care about your social side or your personal life and you can see right through them, but these same managers who not only care about your personal life, go out to make sure that your personal life is good, healthy, faced and knowing that if that's good and healthy then it's going to help him and help the team. And that's what Maurizio did. He would make sure that your personal life is okay and he would constantly ask questions and stuff like that. So what is training? It was just training what to stop me from drinking. He called it the super Superman syndrome. So the Superman syndrome is that his belief is that Superman has no powers. He's just from an extreme environment that when he took out of that environment and put on to our environment, he's Superman, he's got Superman powers. So the analogy is that if you train six days a week way, way harder than to an extreme that on the Saturday the game will feel easier. That was his mentality. So training was ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous. So that that's why I gave up drinking. So and again, my my career was up here at this point and I felt like I was on a crest of a wave. I've said this many times, everything was going right for me. Everything I was touching was turning to gold. I was scoring in the Premier League, got picked for England, scored for England with my first touch against Scotland. That's one way to fuck up our friendship straight away, you bastard. First touch against Scotland. Always knew there was something happy about you, mate. Yeah. How was that feeling? That was the best moment of my career. Was it? Yeah. Sorry. That's okay, mate. We'll edit that out, mate. It was when I shaked clear, mate. So what was that feeling then? It was like, come on, it's so free too, wasn't it? Yeah. Massive game, mate. I couldn't have scripted it any better. 2-2, Wembley was bouncing. Scottish brought thousands, I think about 10,000. It was unbelievable atmosphere. Come on, 20 minutes ago, bang, first touch, goal. Unbelievable, unbelievable. What's this feeling like when you're scoring in front of 80,000 for your whole country? Is that a sense of pride or is it emotional or how do you feel? It's the most emotional I've ever been. Scoring, playing football. It was uncontrollable. Uncontrollable. My face was twitching. My body was twitching. I could not hold the emotion in. It was basing out of me. It was too much. It was literally too much. I ran over to, like, my family brought about 87 people. 87 people. Cousins, friends, family, two, I think, two coachloads. It was incredible. And I ran too. I was trying to get to them. It was incredible. When I was doing the interview afterwards, they were all there, right there, all still cheering. And I was just like blown away doing the interview. It was like trying to get me my words out to explain how I feel. I couldn't. I literally couldn't get the words out to explain how I feel. And even to this day, it's hard to explain how that felt. And it was so surreal that you question yourself, did that actually happen? Did that? Did that actually happen? Because my career, I was in league two, league one for so long. And now I'm in the Premier League and I'm just going for England. What on earth is going on? What on earth is going on? And that's why, what do I say, I was on a crest of a wife. And then I got picked for the England team. The England Wail Cup. And then Liverpool coming for me. Liverpool coming for me. So you can imagine my, my periods of my life at that time. It's unbelievable. Like I said before, but that is like a fairy too. It's unbelievable for them. There's not many people playing league two. Listen, unless you're in a Premier team and getting loaned out, but to come from that and screwing the head. And that's so important for anybody listening, screw the head, working your fitness, working your inner belief in anything that's possible. It's never too late. 27 to making changes and still kicking on and having an unbelievable career shows you. People think their careers are over. It's 17. I was saying this three years ago, people have 22 things. It's too late to do anything. And I was like, oh my word. So yeah, what you've just said is absolutely spot on. I was kidding myself. I knew I wasn't giving myself. Stop looking at other people. Look at yourself. Do everything that you know that you can do. And I promise you, it will be enough. And if it's not, you'll be able to live with yourself. What, what I'm so happy that didn't happen to me, which I was so close to many times. So I kidded myself. I pretended that I was giving everything when I knew I wasn't. And then I almost lost it all. I, all the moments I've just told, told about, they almost didn't, didn't come because I didn't give it everything. And thankfully I got that moment where I switched over and I gave it everything physically. So you wouldn't be knowing such a high scoring for England. You say it's the best moment of your life in football. How do you come down from it with kind of ease and slowly? Or is that why a lot of drink kicks in with people because they don't know how to come down from that adrenaline rush? Yes, I can definitely, especially people who wasn't drinking throughout the career and they were getting them highs and then their career stops. And then they like, wait, wait, and they, and then they do start drinking or taking drugs or gambling. And they get them highs. I can, I can definitely understand why then people go under, then players go under and they, they go too far that side. So you're saying from Liverpool, was that always on the cards? Did they know you were a massive fan? Yes. Was that always something you tried to push for? Or was it just a dream that you never thought would be possible? Or did you always have that? And I believe I'm going to walk out in the red shirt one day. Again, I used to, I used to manifest it. Love attraction, did you understand it then? No. What you were manifesting? No. No, but I used to think of me playing for Liverpool and scenarios of me playing for Liverpool, scoring for Liverpool, winning the league with Liverpool, winning the FA Cup with Liverpool. I used to do this with England. I used to do this with playing football. When I started to understand about manifestation, all that, everything I manifested came through, everything. So when Liverpool came, it was, I think the first words I said to my agent was, fuck off. Like, it was like, no, this can't be true. Like, this is incredible. What's happening to me right now? I was going through a journey which was incredible. That's unbelievable about that. Unbelievable. And the thing about manifestation, what I've realised, I understood that, I read it and the book is secret in my 20s. I used to always kind of feel as if I was chasing it because I was in a life of kind of pain and misery. So when you manifest that, it becomes fuzzy in the energy frequencies or whatever it is. When you become a clean, more clean living, everything you manifest comes into fruition. Maybe it's three years or five years, but you keep believing it, keep working towards that. It does happen. And that's how powerful the mind is. We don't even really truly understand the mind and how it works, how it functions. I just know even I'm sitting here, it's all from manifestation, it's all from thoughts to then reaching out and to then making it happen and putting that into existence. So when love a pool came calling, what you're thinking? Because you're not at the end of your career, but you know yourself, you've only got a few years left, but you're just a case of, this is that. Yeah, so I was thinking, I'm going to go and help because the pool came so close. And I was hoping to be go there with Louis Suarez, but Louis went. But I was still so mentally strong at this point, so mentally strong that I was going there to help Liverpool win that league. I was going to be the difference to push them over the line this season with the help of others. I was getting told Sanchez is coming in to replace Louis. I'm coming in to help. And together we were going to push Liverpool to the tail. That's the way I was thinking. And then reality happened, Liverpool happens. I get my chances. And where I normally bang goal, it was going wide. I was hitting the post. And then I get another chance. Bang header goal, now keepers saved it. And it's just little things like that, which normally was just going in for me right, left and centre throughout them years. At Liverpool, it was just a little bit of a change. And the noise is very loud at Liverpool. Very, very loud. It's not like Southampton or any other club, like obviously these Man United and other teams like that decides it. But for me, the noise was very, very loud. Very different. So even when I played well and scored or it was, oh, it was like really loud. Shit, getting them out to the team. It was like, whoa, wow, this is new. So I got a run of six games. I scored two, assisted one. But the last three games performance wasn't good enough. So I got brought out to the team. That was it. That was it. I knew that was my chance gone because we're at a club like Liverpool. You don't get second chances. You don't get second third chances. I was getting a little minute here and there. And if I could turn them like appearances round and score and do, then I could get another start. But I was getting then starts here and there. And it was that, it was that moment that he put me in the team. I didn't do good enough. I was there. That was my time at Liverpool done. And he tried to ship me out to Crystal Palace in January. And I was like, are you, are you crazy? Like why would I go to Crystal Palace? I've just left Southampton for five years. They all love me to come to Liverpool. The only club I would come to. So why would I leave now after three, four months? Not a chance. He's like, no, no, it's fine. That's fine. But I'm just saying, if you stayed, he's not going to be meant much time for you. I was like, I don't care. I'm not going. And that from that point on, I didn't touch the ball on a pitch for three months. Three months. I did not get on a pitch. Didn't touch the ball. And that was probably the most difficult pair in my career. Did you feel as if your boyhood heroes, and did you feel not let down, but did you feel as if you had your chance and you blew it? Or did you feel as if you deserved another chance? No, no. Felt like I'd blew it. Felt like I'd had my chance and yeah, I'd ruined it. But not only that, it was like looking back, thinking what I'd left behind. How good was Gerard? He was at the end of his career last season. He was in his last year, but unbelievable player. What was his training like? I hear people training. He just drove the ball with people and they had to work on their touch. Was that the case? It was intimidating. No mistakes. And intimidating. Like the amount of perfection that you had to put in, especially if your honest team was scary. But I loved it. I loved it. Like the sessions were incredible because of Stevie. Everyone was at the top of the game because of Stevie. If someone wasn't on it, it wasn't the manager putting them out. It was Stevie. And I think it was like the fifth or sixth session that was training. Lucas, I think Lucas had fell out. Lucas Leverd fell out of love with the board, with his contract or something. I'm not sure. So he was sulking. And in training, you could see it. And Stevie just went, stop, stop, stop it. And I'm like, what the fuck? I've never seen this before. I'm going to play a stop on a training session and then he just goes absolutely busy. What the fuck are you doing? Putting that, Lucas went on for him about 30 seconds. So you're fucking self out now. And it was like, what am I doing? What am I doing? And he honestly just tore him. And I was like, wow, wow. That just set the tone for the rest, like the few weeks. It was incredible. And Lucas would, that was it then. Lucas was just on it. Because Leverd pulled the most demanding team for success. They've won trophies first. As long as they're history. Obviously the Premier League was a big one. How was Gerard, was it a season before? He, I don't even know what he means. He has to love football fans, but that season he slipped. And then the season on to trying the pressure that must have been on him. He must have felt as if that was his chance. Yes. Yeah, I think he's talked about it quite a bit. He's open to talk about it as well, isn't he? I think that is obviously biggest regret. It's hard for me to talk about it because I was a Liverpool fan. I was like, absolutely devastated it happened. And it devastated more so for Gerard, because I wanted him to win it. As much as I wanted Leverd to win, I wanted Gerard to win it. So I could see how much that was here in him. And it was clear to see like it was affecting him. There's no way of getting around it. So after Liverpool, you get loaned out. Is it West Brom? West Brom, no, I left. So I had another year at Liverpool, but I knew I wasn't. I wasn't going to play. It's horrible being on a club when, you know, you know, once it's horrible. And the last thing I was going to do is stay at Liverpool when I'm not wanted. So I went to West Brom with Steve Pulas, Tony Pulas. Again, add me off to opportunities. Didn't quite take it. I think the gold dusted war out. I was 33, 34 at this point. I couldn't quite do it. And if you're in the Premier League after 30, it's tough. It's tough. So being 34, just trying to play in the Premier League, I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it no more. And I was getting appearances. So, but I think my time that was coming to an end. How big is that? Obviously with the drinking through the years as well for my young years. Do you feel as if that? Stopped an extra couple, two, three years for kicking on and still being at the top of your game. 100%. And I would say this to the kids today is that when you get over 30, you need to. Suzu said this to me. Michelle's assistant. He said for every year that you get over 30, you need to lose five, five pounds to five pounds. About half stone. Well, a couple of parts. I can't remember. No, not half a stone. Bloody hell. No, that would be impossible. A couple of pounds. You need to get lighter and you need to be fitter because inside you is genetically getting worse. Like so you need to give it more. So if you carry on your same life after 30, then you're doomed. You're doomed. You have to change. You have to increase it. And that's what I would say is that look after yourself even more when you're 30 because in football now, there's not many footballers playing regularly after 30. Yeah, you look at Big Ibrahimovic who's just retired, but you look at listen, Rune on the world-class player, but you look at the same ages of Rune and Ronaldo. The kind of slim lesson Rune's put on the beef Ronaldo's still playing. It's just mad to see the jokey Vicks to tennis. Just seems to be getting fucking better. I can't. Somebody who you just see who's the most dedicated player you've seen where they just didn't want to give up football. So they just lived and breathed it where they did that half a stone every year when they get older, they got fatter. Did you see any players like that? Yeah, I come across Henderson, Jordan Henson. He didn't drink, did they? James Milner. Milner, I think. Unbelievable professionals. Unbelievable. That's the way to do it. That's the only way to do it. There's no secret to it. That is the only way you want to play until 35, 36, 37. You've got to look at Jordan Henson, James Milner, what they do every day of their life. And you've got to copy it. Did you see that in some players where do these people distance themselves from other players who like to socialize and like to be with each other, like you say, as a brotherhood? Did you see a lot of the ones who didn't drink them lonely? James Milner would go out. Yeah, but he just wouldn't drink. He was mentally strong enough to do that. Just nothing would phase him. He would have a laugh. He would have a joke. He was socially there. He was present. Yeah, he was unbelievable. I couldn't do that. I couldn't do that. I couldn't go to a bar or a nightclub and not drink. And all my mates drink around me. I couldn't do it. I'd either get off or start drinking. That's how mentally weak I was. So to get to the levels that they got to, that's how mentally strong you have to be. How hard was it when that kid was coming to an end? It was tough, but it's funny. It's mad when you're... I'm going to say this now. I don't want to come across like I was driven by money because I know. Anyone who knows me knows I wasn't. But I made more money in my last three years of my career combined than all my other years of playing football. So it became another goal for me of trying, like, right, I need to try and make as much money. Now as I can't before my career is over. And yeah, that was my objective then, is to try and get contracts and try and earn as much money. Does it become desperate at the end that we are just hanging on? Or is that a case of, I've still got it. I can still play, but I both. Yeah, now it's poker face. I'll tell you. So I signed two years with Cardiff and honestly I gave it everything because Cardiff, I moved down there with my family, put the kids there. I gave it everything. I was trying to be as fit as I could be under Paul Trollop. Paul Trollop got sacked, Neil Warner comes in and I'm trying my best. I'm just going a couple of goals, but I can't do the physical stuff. Dad, he wants us 35, 34, 35. And he comes to me and he goes, you can't do what I want you to do. You're not going to be playing for me. I suggest you go elsewhere. And I was like, I've got a year and a half left. I'm going nowhere. What do you mean? You know, I worry about on loan. I'm not going out on loan. I mean, right, okay. Well, you won't be playing for me. I was like, okay. Now, I've never been that type of player. Never, but I'm 35, 34. I have just moved my family up to Cardiff, all in schools. I'm thinking, let's see what happens here. Let's see what happens because I'm not moving. I'm not going anywhere. So anyway, the season finishes. I'm at the off season begins. I'm trying to negotiate the last year to just give me 20% or I'm like, no, not a chance. I'll see you next year. I do not want to go back at all. I've moved my family back to Liverpool and I do not want to go back, but I've still got to use contact there. So I have to go back. Well, ideally I want them to pay me up. So it was like back and forth. Back and forth and they were coming nowhere. Now he's getting closer and closer to the time. And I knew that he didn't want me there. Neil would not want my face around that place because that's the way a type of manager he was. He doesn't want faces around the place that are not there to help him. And he knew that was over between me and him. So I knew that. So I was holding out thinking he'll fold. He'll fold. He'll give me what I want. And on the day, on the day I'm driving up and I'm talking to my agent and he's going, you're going to have to go. So going in and he thinks I'm still going to fold. So I drive into the car park. He sees me. I'm walking in. I get a phone call from my agent and he goes, you've got what you wanted. Really. And I've got to make sure. So I'll go back to the car. Say make sure and he goes, yeah, you've got it. So turn right and drive out. And I go home. That was it. And if I had to go in and train, I was fucked. I was fucked. My body was done. My body was done. But I had to go to the very end and play poker face with Neil Warnock together. What was that like, not have a plane again? Oh, not by this time. I had failed that lift pump. Failed that West Brom. Failed that Cardiff. By this time, I couldn't wait to finish. Could not wait. I was still, I was going through trauma from Liverpool. Didn't notice at the time. I think I was going through a little bit of depression from Liverpool. I think that carried on for a couple of years from my retirement then as well. So I couldn't wait to get away from football, to be honest. I hated football. And when I retired, I didn't watch Liverpool. Didn't watch Southampton. Didn't watch any football. Just kind of came completely away. How hard does it in your family, your kids when... Because people say that they have a lifestyle, but there's a lot more in depth of what people actually have to go through with the moving schools and kids and your friends. That's a lot in itself. How hard does it for families to kind of go through the motions of if you're not playing well and bringing that energy back home and they're moving all the time? Do you know, say I have a bad game at Southampton and Southampton are hammering me and in the paper, they're hammering me. My family not from Southampton. So they don't care. When I moved to Liverpool, my mum and dad, all my family are Scoutsers. My wife is Scouts. My kids are Scouts girls, Scouts friends. And the Liverpool fans are hammering you. The Everton fans are hammering you. In the papers are hammering you. It's a tough place to be. It's a tough place to be. It's what we signed up for. It's what we agreed on. That's why we get money. I understand, but that was tough. That was tough to handle. Yeah, you went to Liverpool at the end of the stages. Is that another thing in your mind where if you're screwed in at a younger age, Liverpool have got the best years of you? Yes. And you feel it's a few years? Imagine me tying Southampton and then me peeking at Liverpool. It would have been different, but I wouldn't have had me use Southampton and I wouldn't change that for the world. Yeah, still an unbelievable career. People would do a bit of arm and leg off for half a career, do you know what I mean? To 100 goals and scoring 37 in a season, signing for Liverpool, playing for England, scoring against Scotland, but that's an unbelievable, that's an achievement in itself from... People who get that career usually have started off maybe when the championship went to the Premiership. You started off league two, you started off at the fucking Dregs, the bottom and it's no disrespect to anybody who's playing in those leagues because they've still got to do what they've got to do, but you've kicked on and progressed and won the league, league one, championship, Premiership, scoring goals. I said that's what dreams are made of in my eyes. I see that now, but at first I didn't. I just seen myself as a failure. That went on for a few years and it wasn't until I started coming out of the Depression that I started looking back on my career with pride and now I look back on it and think on my words, what a career I had, exactly what you've just said. I see everything that I've done and I look at it in positive, even my little pool time now, I look at it in a positive light. I think any sports star or anybody always feels as if they can give more. They always think it'll never end and that's the thing life does come to and then people will love, eventually disappear and go and it's just life, stages, it's chapters, it's just the fucking journey. How did you get out of the Depression? Did anybody say, look man, you've had a fucking great career, you don't need to dwell on it or why were you beating yourself up so much? I didn't know it was. I didn't know it was. Did your message not say it to you? No, no. I don't think she could see. I think I'd been in it for so long. It wasn't just like one moment I was this person, next moment I was this. It was a gradual escalation from Liverpool to West Brom to Cardiff. There was a big change in me in Cardiff. I knew me career was coming to an end and that's when I started probably searching a little bit outside the football. That's when I became aware, awakened. That was my first awakening of how the world actually works and that's when my missus scene had changed in me. That's when I kind of went under a little bit because it hit me like a ton of bricks realising how the world works and not realising how the world works is that people know how it works and they accept it. It's crazy. It was crazy for realising her. So this is what we'll touch on now. You said it was a spiritual awakening. You said it was... That time it wasn't. That was just an awakening of how the world works. The one I had lately was a spiritual awakening. How hard does that footballer evolve in the masses? That's involved in the game as well because no matter people understand that but this is the kind of stuff I like to touch on because the masses listen I keep saying it but you feed them bread and water they kind of distracted to what's really going on in the world and who's controlling it and who's funding it and how corrupt it can be. There's a lot of beautiful things in the world. Million percent have seen it but there's also a lot of fucking fucker he goes on and this is the stuff that we're trying to teach and educate and make sure it's the right things to say and promote because a lot of people now are in a position where they're struggling mentally, physically, financially most of all spiritually but what's it like for you being a footballer? People looked up to you, amazing career to then speaking out about mad shit where people then think they're making jokes you look at guys like David Day, Matt Lutizio who I love to bits two guys listen they've done their thing but they're speaking out against things that people don't understand how hard is that for you to then be doing that? Yeah it's tough it's um I didn't do for years like I said it was 2016 2017 and I realized what was going on and I was just telling my friends and family who again thought I was going a little bit crazy um it wasn't until obviously COVID hit and it wasn't until the realization of scientists and doctors and very clever clever a lot cleverer than me coming to the same conclusion that I'd come to a few years earlier of what is actually happening which then really really started to bother me which then made me feel like I need to start speaking out start speaking out a little bit louder even though it wasn't along the lines of Matt Lutizio I was starting to speak out a little bit and started trying to point people in the right direction especially against the vaccines um and I was getting a lot of comeback a lot of comeback even though I was nowhere near as loud as Matt um yeah that was that was the initial journey that that that was on but like you said it's you can I think there are a lot of people are awake to the most obvious things about money and major companies and bankers and stuff like that and how the world works and that but when it goes a little bit fader than that and what what the elites are actually like and how horrific these people are and how horribly are that's when people come back and that's when people can't handle it yeah because it's scary because you can be shut down in a heartbeat you can be discredited where you're signed off as a fruitcake and that's the scary thing because we don't have all the answers in life but what we can do is question them why why are they making us do this why is the schooling system like that where people are just dumbed down to then understand mathematical shitting wars and all the stuff that's in the past stuff that's irrelevant for later life lesson I believe everybody should be learning how to read and write and understanding but where's the communication skills where's the the fitness and the mindset and understanding love and money management and even death we don't get taught how to handle death somebody can lose a loved one at a young age and it affects them for the rest of their life well I don't need to understand life does go on but it's to try and question everything Matlotizzi is standing in the forefront and it takes a lot of guts because people ridicule people try and embarrass people try and shoot you down where you think am I going crazy listen we're all fucking going crazy but it's to understand the game that we're in and understanding what is this just question why are we here what's created us and what about certain foods and water and and it's so that's in conspiracy not whatever it is but you've got to question everything where does it come from what's there more of do the government really care you'll actually break it down in the history of hundreds and hundreds of years it's the same patterns if it's not fucking vaccines it's you've got the plague and you've got wars and it's it's coming around the full circle every time so the clues are there but because people are so caught up and people are scared then when the covid shit came listen people are genuinely scared people thought they were going to die but yet when you've got sitting in pubs and you're sitting two meters apart as if some sort of infection ain't going to reach two meters but yet it's just crazy it's laughable I've seen holly woolly woolly holly woolly woolly whatever the fucking name is and it's philips gofield we're cuddling through a screen we've got plastic gloves and people who watch it can affect you because you're oh shit the world's going to end but yet we're all standing outside with pots and pans at eight o'clock at night celebrating water celebrating and being locked up but this is being shut down suicide on the rise addiction on the rise but there's no pandemic for that because more people died through that than anything else but you don't show those numbers on sky news you're not show those numbers on the newspapers they'll scare monger you into believing I need to get a vaccine listen if you got it it's down to you but I think a lot more people are awakened up with all the facts and figures coming out now where people are going if I just been fooled and I genuinely believe there is a shift of people understanding wait a minute something ain't right the power of the people has always been stronger than the masses but people are so caught up in a world where they need to work to survive they're too scared listen I can't speak out I'll probably lose my job my kids go hungry and that's scary yeah no I totally understand that and they're too busy too as well they're too busy to actually do the research or listen to someone or listen they're too busy so they look at the so-called pharmaceutical scientists so what they've said and they go well that must be the truth and I would have I would have if I wouldn't have went through that awakening at 2016-17 I probably would have but I knew they were telling lies from the from the get-go and I totally understand with what you're saying with it's all it's it's happened all over before but what they have got planned this is it that's the end game what they've got for others we're a digital enslavement the social credit system that is the end game so our children won't have a chance to do what we're trying to do is trying to wake everyone up to actually what is that what they're about to put on on to us so we have to do it this is the generation me you our children won't have a chance because if they're put into the system they the elites these horrible people who we've just been talking about they've got more power than they have ever had to just switch someone like me off and just not just switch me off to get rid of everything yeah of course one world currency and then they're talking about microchipping you're talking about so much shit and destruction of where you're fully controlled yeah where you're listening you look at the clones now you look at robots you look at how the technology is advanced you start off with the mobile phones people so connected to it where they're brainwashed and they believe in the mobile phones so now people and Sweden I had David Daikon he says it people in Sweden were actually queuing up to be microchipped people now can pay with their balls through microchip and have money and everything's just in this machine where there's no currency there's no money it's a one world order it's fucking nuts and it's close to being at maybe 30 40 50 years maybe closer to actually everything being fully controlled 30 years yank now now you think so yeah I think two you think so two years yeah it was supposed to be 20 30 but I think they brought in four four I think 20 25 it'll all be done but the fuck all my audio yeah the fucker in this world is you're talking about bringing the age I can send down you're talking about people men now gonna take women's toilets and changing rooms because they're identifying a certain people and always have to state this I do not give a fuck if you're trans by straight what colour you are what religion you are if you're a wanker you're a wanker if you're going to put a dress on and then pretend to be a woman to then take do the toilet in front of kids for me in a fucking safe case no and I don't care and it's not listen those people who are trans and buying straight who just got on with their life this is what I'm to hide behind this what I'm worried about is that the government are turning us against against trans people and bisexual people and they're trying to turn us against each other again and we're falling for it again we're doing it again they're putting up stories and they are bad the horrific stories but we've got to we've got to be careful we cannot be turned against anyone no more we've got to all come together and fight against these globalists and the governments that have been took over we've got to all come together we cannot be fighting against each other no more this is what they're purposely doing and we keep on falling for it every single time they're putting rules in in schools so paperously we get angry over it so we go crazy I see them pacing we're doing it again we're falling for it it's divide and conquer they've done that for many years it's been an operation tactic but we can stop it we can stop it we can stop it we've still got time to stop it because they've been rushed into covid now it's the climate scam they've been they've now shown their faces the monsters are there for all of us to see we know who they are they've had to come out so we can all see them we all know exactly who these people are so now we've got a choice and it's a choice to take back our freedom and stop these from putting us into a digital enslavement and a social credit system we've got a choice and we've got to all come together right now so how do you how do you think we get back with freedom then what do you think is the main source to then go wait a minute we need to make a stand because you know yourself you make a stand if you're growing off following enough noise buying discredited what are you doing you're this you're that they put laws and rules on to us and that they only work because we consent to them so when they when they start bringing in these laws if we get enough people and I mean millions in this country millions who say they we do not consent to these absurd rules that you are bringing in we are not going to comply these 15 minute cities we are not going to comply we are going to get rid of them then they will not do them they will back off and if they do try and do it the millions will just turn it around but we've got to have the numbers but I thought the UK would be the first the UK seemed to be the weakest if anyone's crumbling first it's the UK the laws here is fucked you look at France you look at Italy people think they make a stand hundreds of thousands at the streets they might be causing rise but they're saying less than me taking this shit the UK is not happening yet I'm surprised I am surprised but there's so many still asleep but the COVID is the people who are lost people say to me why are you trying to still wake people up they're lost they're completely lost they're not they're not they're on the journey the people who are still lost or the people who are still wearing masks and taking the vaccines and getting the boosters they're lost you'll never ever turn them around but the ones who have stopped taking the vaccine and asking questions they're on the journey to know exactly what they're trying to bring in it's just a matter of time is can we wake these people up in time before they introduce this social cred system onto us yeah so it's a race it's a race can we do it can we can we wake enough people so I'm a part of a movement now that is trying to force it through trying to force the awakening through because I think time is of the essence and I have a massive sense of agency inside me to try and get my voice across now to more people than I have ever had done and I know that I'm going to get all kinds of things said about me ridiculed and stuff like that I do not care no more I do not care no more I love my children that much that I will get ridiculed for the rest of my life I'm far beyond ridiculed it can go way beyond I need to make sure that I have done everything that I can do to stop this coming from my chair because I had seen last week you were talking about Dr. Amato what a ridiculed social media people need to understand everything is energy there's a race challenge where you can actually put rice in each jam jar say I love you to one and I hate you to one after the 30 days the one who say I love you is still white the one who say I hate you is all black, blue and mouldy the thing is words are powerful you are what you speak if you're going to speak little shit constantly you're going to feel little shit if you speak positive and happy you're going to exactly feel that so everything is energy it's what you put out and I think people because when you talk about being ridiculed this is new for people from you to same as Matt Letizzi when they've done it David Dike, ridiculed, embarrassed try to break them down but then you see the following now that they've got they keep going and people start thinking wait a minute what if they're right because how there's a pandemic for a virus that's over 99% survival rate how is that possible but yet they closed the world down the world went into lockdown and that's how much they're controlling the world because over 90% of the people believed it they actually believed it they closed down their businesses the relationships broke down people weren't seeing their loved ones their grands for two and three years and it breaks my heart for people to actually kill they killed it their wives giving birth and they're standing outside looking through the fucking window it's unbelievable even I spoke about it recently but as soon as you're born everything's wrong everything's backwards the artificial light and girls giving birth in their back they're cutting the umbilical cord where you're getting all your nutrients when you're getting all your stem cells you're giving a name you're giving a religion you're giving a football team to support everything's labels you're giving boosters and evitamins and all the bullshit of adh stays on the rise and everything's on the rise why because is it a connection to vaccines I don't know I'm not a doctor I'm not a scientist but I speak to enough people to understand that all these shit that you're getting is no good for your immune system it's scientifically proven now that all this shit ain't gonna help your immune system if anything it destroys it and it's the scary thing because when you speak out of this shit two or three years ago people call you crazy I was still climbing mountains and people were shouting oh but what if your granddad is you're gonna kill my gran I'm fucking 50 miles away up a mountain myself just showing I had to keep living because I felt my mental health slipping because I started to buy into it myself should I get the vaccine what if my grand does catch up my granddad or family and you start thinking am I the wrong guy am I the bad guy thankfully now I stood my fucking ground and I'm thinking okay it's because a lot of people now I put a post out do you regret and over 70% regret getting the vaccine yeah I bet it's more I bet it's more and to these people I think a lot of people don't like to admit it they don't like to admit it that they got failed in this way because what you've got to understand this is by far the most advanced trick to man that this world this the human race has ever seen it was always going to it was always going to take take you by surprise and and throw us all under this velvet of total lies and everyone's going to fall for it they was always going to do to all I would say to these people is now now you know they're lying to you now you know that they've killed your loved ones your friends your family now it's time to stand up against these people stop falling for the for their discrimination of saying types of people in this country and come together we need to start fighting one fight against these people who have done that because they are they are the same people and they have shown their faces our governments have been took over by the globalist elites you can see them in each party it's easy to see we need to get these people out as quickly as possible before they give our power over to the wef and the whho we've got to do it now got to do now go back to what you're saying before about I get the jam jar I think these two these two experiments which shows me that reality is not exactly what we think it is and that you can affect it especially in manifestation so these the the water experiment yes now I recommend everyone to research that it's absolutely incredible and these the double slit experiment have you know what it was no so it's the the fire photon through double slits and and on the backboard deals you can see where the photon went when they're not looking the photon turns into a wave so it's it can go everywhere to through two slits it shows it goes through two slits and then it hits a wave on the background but when you examine it with a camera you can see it clearly going through one and it's only one mark it's a little dot on the finger so that clearly tells you that when you experience it and your consciousness is awake to it with us being seeing it it is telling you that it's in one place so what I'm trying to say is it's everything's a wave everything's a wave but it's how you perceive it in your mind which turns it into reality and that's that I would recommend people to go research the double split experiment because it's it just blew my mind and when I when I talk about manifestation and people want proof about manifestation and whether it's true or not go and watch the double split experiment and go and watch the water experiment and that's only two small experiments which I think is starting to prove that manifestation is real and that we can turn this this round if we all come together all with the simple force of getting rid of these people and having having an unbelievable future for ourselves we can turn this round what do you think life is what do you think is created as always ask guests this question because that's the whole trying to figure it out like we avatars we aliens are we just machines look how's the the human created how's the monkeys and giraffes and elephants and seagulls and was dinosaurs real how has everything been created is this an illusion that we're an assimilator or we're avatars we are I go back and forth when the light switch off because who knows the world's round the world's flat the moon land is revealed they were fake there's the information there from everything there's there's fights to fight for both sides who's fucking telling the truth I go back and forth mate I'm trying to figure out that question myself and I'm mad though with eight billion people on the planet how wonderful they like the world could actually be if everybody could embrace it and enjoy it and plan but greed poison men's souls and power and it's not greed it's not greed it's not what do you think it is it's it's the it's the elites it's the elites have pushed this onto us it's it's brainwashing it's brainwashing they have pushed this lifestyle onto us and we have fell for it completely completely we can turn this round do you feel as if everybody could live a happy life without money without just growing your own fruit growing your own fruit and veg learning from each other different tribes different colors different beliefs learning just because the same as religions the biggest fucking con I believe on the planet yeah it's the biggest con billions of people Christ billions of people Muslim but what is it all fighting against each other arguing against each other listen there's great beliefs and great points in the Bible's on that in the Quran I get it I understand that I've got many people who live a a great life with certain beliefs I've worked with homeless people who have turned to Christ and they're now helping others trying have a you've got to have a belief in a certain higher power that something's there I get it but for me it's just so many different religions so many different gods who's telling the truth it's just it's everything planned for humans is the world been here for billions of years or we've just been lied to is it new you've got to question it all unless you've seen I see it with my own actual eyes then I've got to think well maybe you are fucking nuts maybe you are telling the truth no I think I think some people know exactly what what what is and they've they've kept it away from us but imagine schools got taught to imagine human beings got started getting told the basics of life itself like I said on my my video we can have the life that we've always wanted to be the future it's I can say an unbelievable I have these definitely a split these definitely a split good and evil do you think yes and I'd think it's it's we're at the point of choice how did you think when you seen Matt LaTizzi coming at the forefront and standing out world-class player unbelievable one of the best to have a play in the Premiership I believe for unbelievable talent the goals the penalties and everything touched on your penalties I think you were fucking only missed a couple in your careers like three out of so it took 53 I miss three that's unbelievable record I think LaTizzi yourself Shearer was all up there how do you feel when somebody so high profile Skysport's job making the money doing these things part of the game same as yourself football if we go front down that route it's all part of the game and the process to keep people occupied how do you feel when you see some of this because you do think man that's fucking nuts but you kind of get a buzz off I agree with that yes so it's hard for a footballer to like what you just said we are part of the circus so when you but it's not as if we played football to be part of the circus to manipulate people and keep people into the system that's definitely not what I I or Matt or any footballer was trying to do obviously when you come out to football and realize that yeah it's a kick in the teeth but you still got a choice you still got a choice are you going to try and help people? Matt the way Matt came out and spoke it was it was inspiring I mean I was already inspired by him as a man and a footballer but when he started coming out but Matt can speak a lot better than most people as well he's very emotionalist when it comes to just facts and he was perfect for the person to come out and be the light the shining light for everyone what done my head in is that he was left he was left even though a lot of people who he knew stood right was right behind him with his beliefs and his opinions he was left by himself to speak them words there was very few people backing him especially in the football game all pundits all footballers and not footballers so much because but pundits who were were backing him in private life just left him and they could see the ridicule he was getting and just thought I don't want any of that even though he's speaking the truth now now that things are turning I'm hoping these people start getting behind them start getting behind them and start using their voice to get alongside what he's been doing the interviews that man has done with some of the top scientists doctors and people involved in that what was going on at the time is incredible incredible and he's a he's a footballer an ex footballer who done that so he is my hero and I'm not saying that lightly he is my hero in life I look up to Matt more than probably anyone on this planet it's unbelievable people need to understand it takes strength to speak about the masses and speak about what people don't understand it's normal to sit and work 95 and then go home and watch the tv and watch the news and read the newspapers that's normal but you're being programmed just like we're being programmed with phones and AI they're promoting whatever they want us to feed into the world is such a mad fucking place but like you say it can be a beautiful place and I feel as if when the change comes people go wait a minute I want to back these people because losing your family home and losing your business and losing your job it is scary for people to understand why people don't speak out but then change doesn't happen with being a fucking shithouse change happens and people had enough and go wait a minute you ain't feeding my kids that you ain't buying you ain't like we spoke about trans and bias and straight nobody's asked who you are just be you there's plenty of people in the background to just go through their normal life whether they want to wear a dress or fucking be a man be a woman whoever you want to be but just leave the kids alone don't be reading stories and drag queen story times and try to take a piss next to my dogs it ain't gonna end well and I don't give a fuck what people call me homophobic, transphobic whatever the fuck as if me speaking out what I believe in from my own opinion science and me being in the wrong and people call me I'm fucking transphobic then I am I don't give a fuck what you gonna do I've got to have beliefs I've got kids but I do everything on my power to protect my kids you can't force shit about me what's wrong to try and make me believe two and two is six when it's fucking actually four so I don't give a fuck where anybody says it's the trans people bringing this on to us you do know yeah of course this is an agenda yeah cause it's the extremist as well well nobody's cares but it's just the agenda of divide and then it'll get stronger and see people with their voices and then it's hatred and then it's all the negative tension we need to get the people who are pushing this agenda but how do we though this is what we're trying to do this is what we're trying to do we're trying to come together we've got to get the masses in one simple direction one simple voice one simple direction we do not consent to this bullshit anymore what do you think about it oh just what does your family think my wife was not awake she wasn't when I first started speaking to her and she thought you're losing your shit same as when I done my reiki course I was telling you I had to fucking talk not in a my little certificate to say I was a reiki master and people said he's fucking worse now than he was when he was on the charlie and I thought to myself I actually thought maybe they're right maybe I was losing my shit but I just know how well my life is going now I still battle I still struggle but I'm fucking smashing it mentally spiritually my eating needs to be under control if I'm honest but see me you're talking about all this stuff and traveling and the energies you're just craving a little something but I will get it and I've always says it my weight goes up and down people will see me on this podcast today and then I'll be fucking 13 and a half stone in a month because I know I can lose it fast I go extreme water fast and fucking fruit vegging and smash it and then I'll put on free stone at christmas just this christmas I've never I never would want it so I understand it but would you think about just all the missies and do you think they should ever go right listen you've got a family but I don't need to put you in the fucking looney bin yeah because people do they're concerned about what the shit you're talking about no no my my miss is awake now I'm spiritually awake Jenny is being incredible to see but she is definitely she my mum and dad I constantly get their opinion on things constantly and yeah I like I said I've always for years I I watch what I said because exactly exactly what you've just said but I think that time's over now I need to to say exactly how I feel and I'm not the people will say what they want to say but a lot of that is is an agenda as well like the these are people designed to try and make me a mat and other people look stupid and try and ridicule others that is designed and then people get on top of that as well so I like I said I said to you before since since a few weeks ago I don't care what other people are thinking of me I've got to be true to myself and if I feel the way I feel and I've got to speak I've got to say how I feel my wife has an opinion which I respect my mum and dad I have an opinion which I respect my friends everyone has an opinion but I've got to be true to myself and that's what I'm that's what I'm doing no yeah because we'll only get one shot at this can you imagine fucking disappearing and just never speaking how you truly feel end of the day it's only opinions it's only people's thoughts and people's words but I do say it quite frequently now like words are just as powerful and people's what we think how people see us is as powerful as well because we all want to be like but then there comes a stage where that's when I've got to speak how I genuinely feel what else I'm going to go insane even though speaking out makes you fucking go insane it's you're never going to win basically you're going to go obviously what's difficult is that I'm becoming a coach I want to try and put what I've learned to be a footballer to help other kids so the other players that's what I'm trying to do now and I think football and the football in my life my love for football has come back so knowing all that would have just said no and knowing I am going to carry on speaking out it's going to be interesting for us all to see what happens do you think you'll be a target where people will try and say you can't be working with kids because of the shit that you're saying because you're not following suit and playing and dancing to their tune yes these are going to be all kinds of people saying all kinds of shit like I said I'm going to be true to myself I'm not going to push I'm not going to be saying anything to anyone this is my own personal life I'm speaking to you now because you knew I was going to be speaking like this but when I'm a footballer I'm coaching football it's a job it's a job I'm very very good at it and I'm manifesting to be one of the best coaches in this country that this country has ever seen so I will I will be a success as a coach I know I will so what route that's going to be I don't know but we'll have to wait and see and find out I am enjoying my time at Wigan it is unbelievable club unbelievable people the coaching staff are incredible to be around and I'm loving it at the minute so long may that continue yeah that's the thing football is a very glamorous career and people listen if you're keeping fit and healthy then the mindset's always going to work take its own path and staying on the right path and it's keeping kids away from the street and we get it like we says we can contradict ourselves because we know football is all part of a game and the system but it's if we can help kids give their mum and dad a better life retire their family and give their kids a better life then I would rather them do that than stuff in the streets rob banks sell drugs do bad shit do you know what I mean but it's the young and the young it's a good and a bad where do you go forward for the future then none of them so I'm manifesting my wife myself and my family to be unbelievable have the best life ever healthy incredible future I'm hoping to be one of the best coaches this country's ever seen and I'm trying to take down these globalists cunts as well for anybody that's watching it's me because I know the transition is horrible it's a sticky kind of what the fuck is going on should I just stay drinking and taking drugs or should I be educating myself because the more you learn the more you earn and it's a horrible place to be when you're in the middle of things and it's like a little spiritual war where you don't know who's telling the truth people are kind of stuck there what advice would you give for anybody that's on that kind of sticky road just now so definitely do not stop watching TV stop watching BBC stop watching ITV stop watching Sky stop watching that obviously I'm not talking about sports sports amazing to watch and stuff like that but the news this is propaganda this is the stages they want you to go through to get to where they're going this is this what that's what the news is this is propaganda this is a script that they are telling you so they are mind controlling stop watching that as early as you can stop believing in it then start doing your own research start looking at the scientists through being cancelled the doctors who are being cancelled and all the people who have been cancelled start researching them start looking at what they've said why they got cancelled and start making your own assumption once you've got all the information in that's what I would say don't definitely do not take the mainstream media as your only source of news of what's going on in the world because I promise you I promise you it is not it is completely the opposite how's your deal at a team like now so I coached Wigan Tuesdays Thursday and Monday Tuesdays Thursdays and play on the dinner game on a Saturday so I evolved my family life around that simple as that I've got businesses in all over the place in mostly in Liverpool properties bars restaurants and that I don't spend much time and I'm just mainly an investor in them and that's it rarely made it spend time with my family spend time with my friends I want to become a full-time coach I'm part-time at the minute so I want to become a full-time coach and I want to become a manager see that happening everything yes everything listen everything you've manifested from a young age of type 30 box what about for people who read the cues people for speaking out what would you say to them people who you're talking about energy and talking about the water and listen I get it I actually when I done my Reiki course it was Dr Amotto's interpreter I worked with and she gave us a book The Water Something and I read it and I don't believe one then I watched the thing on YouTube the woman was in like a subway station and she was taking photos of the crystals and the words are powerful as much as your thoughts are powerful you can speak into existence a lot of things as well and if you're speaking shit all the time I guarantee you're life will be if you're talking about depression feeling sad all the time you're gonna be fucking sad if you talk about happiness and making changes and positivity and gratitude and grateful for your life you're gonna exactly feel all that as well so I fucking get it but for people who ridicule you or anybody who speaks out I got it for years now I think people just know I don't give a fuck I'm only speaking from what I know I don't know everything but this is just my journey I'm not gonna ridicule you for speaking different from me I'll take it on board even though you're wrong but that's fine so it's just for anybody that's ridiculing people now what do you say to them? ehm it's tough to give them advice ehm what I would say is when Matt when the opposition when someone goes against the narrative like Matt has done there's controlled opposition to her so they try and ridicule him so they put messages out they put videos out so when Matt puts a message out there's you go into the comments it's like no case and stuff like that don't go off them comments listen to what Matt said let that be your judge of your character go off what he's saying don't go off what the comments are saying or what the memes are saying because someone are funny someone are very funny I've laughed at a few of myself over the last week don't go off them listen to what I'm saying listen to what I'm saying and then judge then judge am I talking shit am I going nuts or does any of it resonate with you and then make a decision because they're going to be questioning what's in the water at F***ing Southampton they'll start to be investigating maybe it's something where Southampton's training or they're f***ing brainwashing those kids you're talking about brainwashing but the address of it must be everybody sitting be f***ing tinfoil ass on it's mad easy they'll be start honest they'll be questioning two of the f***ing greatest dog time go-scorers from Southampton are talking pure s*** that we're saying but then the bottom line is I believe everything in stand everything that you guys are doing and I'll always be at the forefront as well and it's doing my thing what I can't but I'll always say I might get it wrong sometimes as well I might get it wrong I'm not a scientist I'm not a doctor but just with the information there I just listen just don't be fooled too much life can be a beautiful place you don't need to live in that program in the situation where it's all f***ed up yeah now you're in an unbelievable place in life because you're coming across two sides you're seeing the full spectrum so not many people see that and I'm not there's kind of playing it safe as well but I genuinely don't have all the answers I'm not a doctor I'm not a scientist I do genuinely believe there's a shift I believe the world is run by wicked people I believe in all the f***ing the human trafficking and the children going missing and there's you can go down the route of f***ing just mad dark stuff you can go down the rabbit hole but again you go keep going down that as well you forget to live my kids need me my family need me I've got to kind of find some sort of balance investigate some sort of stuff watch a YouTube video doesn't make me a professional or a professor it makes me just question it and go is that intriguing or does it just feel sexy to be going against the governments I've always been that way anyway but just you've got to question everything and not go with what everybody's saying you me, Matt but just go maybe they're on to something and then maybe look into it yourself and then have your own mindset do you know what I mean because everybody in the world is confused we're all looking for answers but there's other people who just live their life and not give a f*** yeah they do their surfing or certainly be I envy them yeah I thought about seriously I haven't been in the wilderness buying a hut growing my pubes growing the hair just growing my own fruit and veg having my dogs and just f***ing living that life but then I thought I would be f***ing suicidal after a few days I need to be in the mix I need to be causing trouble somewhere so it's it's like a contradiction that we spoke about I thought about just leaving this game I don't want social media but then I thrive on it because people tell me how amazing I'm doing but then on the other hand I need to switch up so it's a constant battle but you know what as long as you're getting up every day and not being a cunt and being a good person and trying to do the right thing and being a good dad and we speak about being alpha and masculine the most alpha thing you can do is look after your family everything else you just put a bonus after that yeah that's what I believe I mean I couldn't have said it better I was spot on spot on and I'm trying to make sure that my mind is on my kids and my family and that's that's that's that's the most important thing in my in my life because this shit can affect the kids at schools and it can affect all the other shit with people teasing them and that can fuck them up in life so like I say it's not a play safe but it's just a balance take on the blood of these opinions on do you know what I mean you don't need constantly yeah 5th Carter's 15 so when I do a video or I say I tell them like this is what I've done this is what I'm saying this is the type of response I'm going to get and this is the type of bad response so you might hear something but he's like I said he lived through that period of me playing for Liverpool and I'm failing that was tough for him that was tough so even to this day like your dad's shit your dad's was shit at Liverpool he didn't he only scored this amount of goals and stuff like that he still gets that it's just walked off a duck's back for him now he's I look at him now and I'm so proud of him shit he's gone through it's it's it's amazing to see the type of character he is and the type of man he's going to be it's it's incredible so I I totally understand what you're saying and that is my first and foremost yeah of course yeah Rocky boy would you like to finish up on anything? what's your social media and stuff for people who can't ask questions and get involved yeah now my I'm on Instagram and Twitter now obviously Instagram is Lambo 7 my Twitter is St Lambo 07 and I would just yeah I would just say these are movement going out started last Friday I do not consent we are sending letters to our local MPs and the Prime Minister saying that we do not consent of what you have done we can see you you've been compromised and we won you out we're sending that to our local MPs as well we're sending a message out and it's getting it's going worldwide another message is going out tonight which is Friday I'm not sure when this is going out just watch watch that watch that it's it's going to be building we need people we need people to back here we need people to change their profile picture you believe in it start start following us get on board you've just heard what it's about everything that I've been saying hopefully it resonates with you please get on board and follow us Ricky boy listen phenomenal career you should be proud of everything you're achieving and like I said everything you're speaking out against at back as well so it's not easy doing all this shit but somebody's got to do it it's just conversations people can get what they want out of it but fair play for you for kicking on with your career getting an England call-up it's going against Scotland bastard but it's unbelievable and you should be proud you know your kids will be proud and everything you're doing so fair play I wish you all the best with Shucha and I look forward to seeing what you do next nice one mate thank you well bless my brother nice one thank you