 Free things you should never say to a narcissist. There are certain things that you should never say to a narcissist. Your words have power and when you speak certain words, it can either empower you or it can be used to give your power away to someone else. Which is why it is very important to think before you speak when you are around a narcissist. With normal people, you don't have to worry about this. You can have a normal conversation and allow your words to flow naturally. But with a narcissist, you do need to be very careful with what you say to them. Because everything is a power game with a narcissist. They're always competing for power and your words tell them whether or not they have power over you. They're always looking for signs to see whether or not they ever hold on you. And when you say certain things, you're feeding into it. You're strengthening the attachment. Especially when you're trying to pull away. Which is why when you're around a narcissist, it's best not to say much at all. Do not reveal your emotions. Don't let them know how you feel. Just keep it neutral. Because that is the only way that you can keep your power. That is the only way that you can stay sane when you are around them. Which is why they're always trying to manipulate your emotions. They're either trying to seduce you or they're trying to make you angry or upset. Because whether it's positive emotions or negative emotions they get from you, it doesn't really matter. The important thing is that they caused it. They enticed you. They provoked a reaction from you. Which in their minds equates to them being powerful. Because they influenced you in some way. They caused a reaction. So that must mean that they exist. That must mean their false self is real. Because if it was not real, how could you respond to it? That's how they're thinking. But if you remain neutral, no matter what they throw at you, their false self will begin to crumble and then you can take back your power. These individuals are power hungry. They have a strong desire for power and certain things you say tell them that they have power over you. It tells them what they need to do next. It tells them what they can get away with. Which is why you need to avoid saying these three things to the narcissist. One. I hate you. After everything the narcissist has done to you, you may hate them and you may want them to know that you hate them. Because you think that it will affect them in some way. You think that it will bother them. But narcissists are not like normal people. If you tell them you hate them, they're not going to take it as an offense. It's not going to make them want to change or act right. It's going to make them feel powerful. It's going to tell them that they just need to keep doing what they're doing. Because they recognize that your hate is keeping you attached to them. And narcissists want their victims to attach to them. So they will try to make you hate them even more. They will do things that will scar you for life. Because they know that will keep you focused on them. They know that will leave you unable to think about anything else. Which is why you should never tell a narcissist that you hate them. Because you're just putting your cards on the table. You let them know your hand. And then they're free to do whatever they want without information. Which is never going to be anything good. It just tells them what they need to do to keep hurting you. To keep you attached to them. It's not going to make it stop. It's just going to make it worse. So never tell them you hate them. Never tell them what's bothering you. It's not going to solve anything. It's just going to give them a map of your mind. It's going to tell them where they need to strike. To harvest the most gratifying response from you. Two. I love you. Never tell a narcissist you love them. I don't believe that anyone can really love a narcissist. I believe that we think we love the false image. Until we realize that it isn't real. But I don't think that anyone could love the narcissist for what they really are. Which is why we desire for them to change. Love is about acceptance. And I don't think any of us could say that we can accept the narcissist as they are. But I'm not here to tell you how you feel. If you feel like you love the narcissist. Then maybe that is love for you. But I do not recommend telling the narcissist you love them. It is not going to improve your relationship. It is not going to make them want to be close to you. It's just going to tell them they've got you just where they want you. They see love as a weakness. They see it as something to exploit. They will use your love to hurt you. They will use it to play games and make you jealous. They will rip your heart right out of your chest. And kick it around on the floor. Like it's something to be ashamed of. They will never respect your love. They just see it as a tool to get what they want. And when you try to love them. It tells them that there must be something wrong with them. Because they don't feel that for you. It just makes them even more envious of you. But at the same time. They see it as a weakness. They have to see it as something that's beneath them. Because that's how they cope. With not being able to experience that which they truly desire. Because deep down all a narcissist really wants is love and acceptance. That's why they abandoned who they really are. Because they thought that was not good enough. They created this false self because they want to be admired and respected. They want to feel like they belong somewhere. And you may be thinking. That's great. So all you have to do is give them the love and acceptance that they want. Maybe then everything will be normal. But it never works out that way. When you try to love a narcissist. It just makes them hate you. Because they needed that love a long time ago. So now every attempt you try to make things right just makes it worse. Because you just reminded them of things they never received. Which reminds them of how unfair their lives have been. Three. I feel happy. Or sad. Never tell a narcissist how you feel. Whether you feel happy or sad. Angry or upset. Never let them know. Because you're just giving them a roadmap to your emotions. You're telling them what they need to say or do to get a certain response out of you. And then they're just going to use that to manipulate you. They will do things that make you mad. Then they will come back with things that they know will make you want to give them another chance. And then they will just repeat this over and over again. Because it does something for them. It makes them feel alive. It makes them feel important. It makes them feel powerful. Because they're getting a reaction out of you. Narcissists love to play with your emotions. They love to see you going through it. When you tell a narcissist how you feel. You are giving away your power. And narcissists cannot be trusted with power. They will only abuse it. They will only use it for bad things. They're not going to use it to improve your relationship. They're not going to use it to make you happy. They're just going to use it to play with your emotions. And mess with your mind. Thank you for watching. I hope this video resonates with you. Please like, comment, share and subscribe. If you would like to donate, my PayPal link is in the video description. Coaching Inquiries. You can email me at coaching.narcsurvivor.uk. Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon.