 I don't really care if you cleaned it. Can you just please stop wanking at my house? I haven't had toilet paper for the last... Did you hear what I said? Stop wanking at my house. Okay. Do it at your own. It's fucking weird, man. Sorry. Are we live, man? We're live. Bullshit. I don't believe you. Your toilet's disgusting. He did that. No. He can spray shit. That is a lie. No. From his bubble. Why are you doing this, huh? I don't believe you. Are you trying to embarrass me? I haven't had toilet paper for the last week. And you blame me for that mess in there. You are disgusting right now. My shits have been hard. You've had zinc on your face for four days. Yeah, I've stopped showering apart from when I shit because I don't have any toilet paper. It deserves a clap, I think. But I don't wash my face. I just wash my bum. Yeah, he just gets into the shower and scrapes the shit in between his cheeks. Flakes come off and you see it go down the drain pipe. It's fucking gross, man. Seriously, I'm not kidding. When's the last time you shat? Just then. I just did it. Then how quickly I had to wash your bum bum. Yeah. No, I don't want to smell your fingers. Thank you. I can't believe it's been so itchy. Yeah, it's like that's how they live in like in Bali and shit. They shoot their ass with water jets. Yeah, that's fucking hate that. Really? I fucking hate that. It's you walk around with an itchy ass just permanently, man. They're called bum guns. Yeah. And like, you know, for sure people get too close and squirt the water into their ass and then the shit cascades back onto the nozzle. That's happened for sure. Oh, I never thought about that. The shit water would run back down. No, but that's why you fire it off before you use it on your own ass. Yeah, but it doesn't matter. There's still shit all over the nozzle and it just gets washed onto your hands and. Yeah, there is something creepy about it. But if you're in a nice hotel room, it's like it's a good way to clean your ass. That's why I use the shower. I just use the bed sheets that they had. Don't the Japanese have really interesting toilets? Don't you talk about the Japanese, man? Not so it's Vietnam. We had a very interesting... They have the little shooter thing. Oh yeah, they have the toilets that spray directly into the center of your asshole. It is so hot in here, guys. I have no fucking aircon. You know what they should invent? They should invent like a vacuum that you just stick onto your asshole and it just sucks the shit clean out. So there's no, doesn't touch the sides. There's no fuss, no mess. Boom, boom. And the pipe just leads out into the back garden. Dude, you've just given me a video idea. We'll get a small vacuum so I can fit it in there. Get a little pipe. When I need to shit, we'll fucking shove the vacuum up my ass and then turn it on. Actually, could it suck my intestines out? No. And then we'll suck the shit out. And then we'll take it back and try and get a refund and say, mate, your vacuum cleaner smells like shit. Yeah, that's not bad. But I reckon that's a great experiment. Do you reckon it sucked? I'd have to squeeze. If I held onto it, it wouldn't take the shit. We did my eyeball. If you've got a hammer right hanging there, it might get sucked in. Yeah, wow. It popped out. We had a weird weekend, didn't we? Played a bit of golf on Saturday. God, golf is the new thing, guys. Sunday, we tried something, sound and breathing therapy session where you pretty much, it's just a bunch of people, you fucking lie down in a room and you just have this technique to breathing and you just fucking trip balls for like two hours. Like, it was fucking insane. It was amazing. Since we're not drinking and doing drugs, this was like, this is the closest thing to fucking MD cramps that I've ever had. My hands were literally like this. Like fucking curled up like little T-Rexes and so were James's. Yeah, I didn't get that high. Was that due to the breathing? Like, you know, when you do Wim Hof, you get a bit tingly in the fingers. Is that the onset of that happening? Like that times fucking a hundred. And now, whenever I clean my mind, last night trying to go to sleep, I was like trying to clean my mind and every time I do, it's like I, my hand just starts fucking spasming now. It's like I fucked myself. Wow, you gave yourself like brain damage. You had a stroke. Fucking weird. It's like it taps into your nervous system or some shit. I don't know the signs behind it, but it was nice. Yeah, we're definitely going to do it again. Highly recommend it. Do you want to come to the next one? 100%. And for those of you who, we are fucking massive Wim Hof advocates too. Just fucking Google him or YouTube him. Watch the vice documentary and then just do it. It's weird, but just fucking try it. It takes ten minutes. Me and my girlfriend have been Wim Hofing lately. And? But you're right before bed. We do it together. And then... That's what me and Mon do. We fall straight asleep. Exactly. And we have, I have the instant, I have instant sleep straight through. No breaks, nothing. Mon doesn't even get to the end of round one and she's out. And like it just fucking, it's whenever I'm anxious or stressed, bit of breathing, but this isn't even, we're not getting paid to say this. This is just a genuinely fucking awesome thing. So give it a crack and comment how your experience was. I've rash all around my arm. There we are. I'm not kidding. Yeah. We've gone, we've, for the website, we've, Michael's like, oh, we're watching some old website videos, pissing ourselves and like, why don't we go back to our roots and do some of the old videos that we used to do like five years ago. And that's what we've been doing. Cause they're fast to film. It's just we're throwing shit at each other. We're hitting shit at each other. Video done. But fuck me. Fuck me. It's paying for it. We got bruises and marks all over our body. Today we did the squash ball slam. We redid it. Oh my god. We changed it slightly and holy fuck. Michael got fucked so hard. Yeah. We running in circles again. He ran. This was a big running video. He ran kilometers. He covered a lot of ground. Yeah. Fast. I got really tired. Fast. You went for a run as well. Yeah. I got hit the last one and I had to just get out of there. Runs out of shot, goes into the bush, comes back with an office chair. It's like, how the fuck did that happen? I don't know how that happened either. Wim Hof. Are you going to bring back the thumbtack soccer ball? Nice man. The one that you ended up in hospital? Well, we'd have to glue all the thumbtacks onto one another. It takes time. And that takes a long fucking time. Should we do the soccer ball or should we do tennis balls? I'd probably rather do tennis balls. Yeah. Tennis balls are a bit, because you could just do a couple. That came from my ass. That is a long pubic hair with like dried shit on that. Yeah. Just keep that fucking shit away from me, all right? Fuck me, cunt. Gagging. Wash it down with a bit of coke. So yeah, that was our fucking weekend. Michael's been fingering his ass all day. He's saying, oh, G-Spot. And now it hurts. I've heard that maybe seven or eight times today. We fucking went and filmed in this weird little hidden bike jump area hidden in the bush. And I told Julian I'm getting ready for the collapse. And there's this half built, no, probably like one fifth built cabin made of wood. You convinced Julian that Michael had built it? And Julian was, why? He was so confused. He's like, you fucking dickhead. God. Then I just kept fingering my ass, because it was itchy as shit, because I got no toilet paper. And yeah, and just kept saying G-Spot. Okay, for today's episode, we got a letter from the PO box. We're not doing the fucking sentences no one said anymore. Secrets, we weren't sent enough secrets, so we're cutting that one this week. So we got fucking questions. 100%. And then we got fucking, we got the print call. Yeah, and let's do something different like fondest childhood memory or some shit. Yeah. Well, actually there is a question. There is a question asking what your first memories of each other were. So we could go there. He's got a fucking question. Yeah. There's some really good questions. Yeah, let's just get more into the questions. I'm enjoying it so far, apart from my rashly ass. Rash. Actually, we're starting pretty deep. A guy named Isaac Prentis asks us a question and I thought you guys could answer really relate. He actually thought he was getting real, being a real Debbie Downer by asking the question, but it's something that's quite, brought up quite a lot social media wise. So anyway, I'll start with that. Are we doing it now? Did you do it on these days today? Oh yeah, fuck on this day. Holy shit, we're getting ahead, aren't we? Fuck me, bro. I thought I was fucking forgetting something, bloody. Here we go, Matty. All right, on this day, Matty. Here we go. Goggles on. Can you show everyone you in that? Holy shit. They're upside down. I love how they match blue and blue. We got to explain that. That makes no sense to anyone listening. Matt's wearing some goggles that turn everything upside down. Someone sent him to us and I can't really remember. Who? Oh, they're really difficult to use. Where's my thing? All right, anyway. On this day, on this day in 1997, Albus Dumbled or sexually assaulted three students at Hogwarts. Neville Longbottom spoke out about the abuse in his final year of study. He said that Dumbledore wanted to find out just how long his bottom really was and would slide his wand up and down his crack before inserting his wand up his anus and pushing it deep into Neville's core. The other two students wanted to remain anonymous, but I found out it was Ron Weasley and Hagrid. Oh, man. Do you reckon that they'd definitely fucking get up this semester? Oh, man. All the witches and wizards, man. They're horny fucking motherfuckers, man. Yeah, I bet you that cloak, what's the cloak that makes you invisible? Albus Flamelmore. Yeah, we use that for, yeah. Yeah, I reckon. Evil. On this day in 2004, Sandra Bullock glassed a racehorse because she felt threatened. She said any creature with a snout longer than hers can't be trusted. On this day in 2016, Mary Poppins had a run-in with the law enforcement when she flew into the flight path of an airbus with her umbrella. The plane narrowly avoided her, but police were waiting for her when she landed at a nearby airport. She blew an alcohol reading of 0.09, which is the highest blood alcohol reading on record. Mary has been in and out of prison as she started drinking heavily after attempting to babysit the Cash Me Outside girl seven years ago. Mary was unfa... Mary was unfortunately beaten to death by another female inmate last year while completing a two-year jail sentence for fingering things. Oh, I love the ending, fingering things. I reckon Mary Poppins is dead. Mary Poppins is dead. She's so hot. Spoon full of sugar. She's got that, like, you can look after you fucking vibe. If I was a kid, I'd love her as my nanny. She has a really good voice. She's dead. Yeah. She shouldn't have fingered things. She got beaten to death. Like, that's fucked my childhood, man. Dude, I know someone who's going to get beaten to death. On this day in 2012, Katie Perry kissed a girl. And while she liked it, the girl she kissed was only 13 and was in fact a minor. The young girl said Katie overpowered her and started sucking on her tongue. Katie was pulled off by strangers and arrested. However, all charges were dropped after Katie tossed the father of the child off as well as the prosecutor. If Katie offers to toss you off, you aren't going to turn it down. Do you know what I mean, boys? Ha ha. This is great banter. Oh ho ho ho. You fuck with it. You fuck with it, man. You fuck with it, man. I wish you were like a fucking airplane machine. Blow. That's hot air. Yeah, wow. Sorry. We need like music for our next segments and that, man. A spoonful. Sorry. Question time. That may be itchy. Oh, I've got it. All right. If you have a question if we want us to answer, you've got to comment on our YouTube podcast, YouTube channel, all right? We'll fucking answer as many as we can. And begin. First question is from... Isaac Prentice. So, um... So, um... He was saying... He wanted to know what your thoughts were. Cut that, Connor. No, leave it off. That's great. Shit. Ugh. He wanted to know what your thoughts were on mental health. He says, is there any personal experiences that come out on top you could share being that you're in social media and things like that? He's just noted on there that it crossed his mind while watching the podcast, hearing about your problems with social media, reach restriction, demonetization, the potential of being canceled and being banned. He thought that must put a strain on your mental health. Oh, look, I think everyone's had fucking issues with mental health once a couple of times in their life. They're fucking everyone has. I mean, yeah, it's very stressful, but I don't know. I think we're doing all right. Yeah. Do you think it's a common theme in social media that comes up a lot? I think social media has created a lot more of fucking... I think people, yeah, I think, yeah. In social media, man, yeah, there's some sad people. Whoa. That's from my arse as well, that one. Oh, that's long. That's at least 30 centimeters. Have you ever... Oh, this is pretty... It's a lot of information, but... Go. All right. You comb in your hair in the shower. I don't have any hair. Okay. Fuck. I used to have hair, so I get it. I can relate. You're fucking cleaning your body, right? You go to your fucking dick area and somehow one of your long hairs has gotten underneath your foreskin. Underneath your foreskin. So you have to fucking... Pull the hair out. Sometimes I don't even pull the foreskin back. I just pull the hair out and it feels so fucking strange and I've got long hair, so it goes forever. It's a weird feeling. Well... Comment if that happens to you with long hair, dudes. You don't have a foreskin. It was torn off by your parents. Clean. They fucking abused you. Wait, did your... So your mum and dad said, snip it off. I guess so. I wasn't there for a while. When you were a baby. But I don't remember. Oh, yeah. It's exciting. Fuck! Oh, shit! Fuck it! I nearly fainted. Did you just put my microphone right up to my asshole? No, near it. Not near it. All the way. You're covered in shit particles by now. So, yeah. Mental health. I'm sure everyone has issues with it. But, yeah. And in our line of work, it's very high stress, but also very rewarding. Like, it's like... It's really shit sometimes, but obviously really good. So you take the good with the bad. And I think Michael and I were lucky because we're a bit... We sort of made it when we're a bit older and we're able to deal with these things. We've often said if we were at this level in our early 20s, we'd 100% be dead. I also reckon... He'd be dead for sure. If you fucking grow up with... We're so lucky. Facebook came into play when we were 18. We all threw primary school and high school. We had no fucking phones. We had no fucking social media to compare ourselves to. It was just... You hang out with your friends. You go bike riding. You watch a movie. You go home. You have dinner. Then you go to bed. I used to brick the neighbor's dogs. I used to actually shit on certain neighbor's doorsteps. I don't want to say the name, but they all had red hair. Hey, I never brick dogs. You're fucked, man. Hey, you didn't brick dogs. Wasn't that Calvin? Calvin. Just touching on your hair thing in the dick. I can relate when you sleep with like... Women. Next to my girlfriend. Always end up her hair in my dick in the morning. It just gets in there. Wow. Yeah, dude, it's a weird feeling. And it wraps itself around and holds on. Yeah, dude, this latches on with the foreskin. You've got to pull it out. And then it's such a strange feeling. So yeah, mental health. Mental health where everyone's a fucking advocate for mental health. Of course, we're not exactly advocates for it, but I don't know. Yeah, like, fuck it's tough. But I reckon social media has definitely enhanced it. But yeah, like we said, we're lucky because we cracked it when we were a bit older. We can handle it a little bit more. And as soon as we feel ourselves sliding mentally, we do something about it. Yeah, and we've got friends and family around us. Yeah, we've got a good support network as well. So we're fucking sweet. Next question. Try and talk to your friends if you're feeling down. And pull that hair out of your dick. Pull the foreskin back first to avoid that strange feeling. But yeah, mental health. But the strange feeling is exciting. Mental health. Pull the dick hair out after mental health. Next question. It's from Sunny RDR2. Marty, will you ever cut Michael's hair again? Well, he went and got it cut the other day without even notifying me. God, I'm sweating a storm up. It's fucking shorter than it was when I fucking fucked his hair last year. And he's gone and butchered it at the fucking address. It's too hot. And yeah, I don't mind it. I thought, and you sort of fucked it because you cut the length really short at the top. It was like a bowl cut. I like you longer. Sorry. Really? Yeah. Fucking disgusting. It looks like your beard sort of turns into your fucking hair now, man. I like you with an afro. Yeah. It doesn't take me long. Next question is from Jacob Dickinson. Dickinson. Dickinson. Is there any way we can help you guys besides the website? Money wise, me and my buddies are all on the website now. I hate to see you struggle. Let us know. Oh, guys. That's so nice. That is fucking lovely. Thank you, dude. You guys just watching, engaging with our share, telling people about it is more than we could ever ask for. If you're a member of the university, that's fucking all we are. Thank you. Which reminds me, this fucking podcast is fucking sponsored by the university of fucking Markle, where we have all out the doors to the neighbors. Where we have all our fucking, over 120 fucking videos of us slaughtering each other. Okay? It's $5 a month. Fuck that's reasonable. But yeah, so thank you for that. But yeah, we're not doing so bad. We're getting by. So don't stress. And we'll be back. We're fucking, we're too good at this. We're in a bit of a lull, but we are too good at what we do. We will be back. And before you know it, we'll be rich as fuck. And we'll be given thousands of dollars to our fans. Thousands, man. Give away. It's just randomly. Randomly. We'll do a giveaway. Pizza, pasta. Next question is from Dandillo. Dandillo. What is your first memory of each other? I remember playing tennis. And Michael and I were on the same side of the court and Michael kept talking about how flushed he was. It was a really hot day. And I thought it was fucking hilarious. Really? Yeah. I'm so flushed. Yeah. I'm so flushed. Yeah. I'm so flushed. Yeah. I'm so flushed. He kept saying like that. In between points. I remember just we were in the dance studio hall on the first day and you were fighting. We're all sitting down listening to Matt Space. And you had a wispy fringe. And I just remember you were real quiet. And then I have also before we started talking and hanging out heaps. So there was another kid called Lewis who we were friends with. And me and Lewis would always call you Flea from the Red Hot Chili Peppers for some reason. Because I look like him. Yeah. I didn't get it because I didn't really like it. I really got a bass playing. And yeah. I was quiet. It was my first day at a brand new husk. I didn't know anyone man. Yeah. Yeah. But I just remember for the first few weeks we called you Flea. And then I think how the fuck did we start becoming like good friends. We made out behind the toilets. And then it sort of everything just fell into place. Maybe I don't know. It was my I remember this. Remember my space. I fucking my my space profile was just I just wrote a bunch of nonsense. And Michael thought it was so fucking crazy. He printed it out and brought it to school. He put this on the your foot. Now look at what we fucking do. No, I just remember it was like the funniest fucking one liners and shit. Like I can't remember him now because it was so long ago. But I do remember that. And I remember we were driving home from a tennis tournament. Oh yeah. In the cab. He was being so still in high school. And I was in the front seat. Louis and Michael in the back. I kept touching the cab drivers brushing his leg. And Louis and Michael just couldn't fucking believe it. Like he thought it was the craziest fucking shit. Because we were like 15. You know, so it's just like that's what we doing to him. But the fucking Henry did some shit in gaps. And then initiation was when I went to fucking to Wumba. And that's where we really bonded. Because I met Henry and all the boys. I bought him to all the to Wumba boys. All the most fucked up group of kids you can fucking imagine. And that's where the drinking began. Introduced him to go and before you know it. Boom. Fast forward. Ten years later, he's nearly dead. But yeah, fucking good times. I've told my stories before. But my first memory of Michael's he showed me his hemorrhoid. Yeah, fuck me. That's foul. Yeah, you got back from overseas. And Marty's my first memory of Marty's. He walked up said watch this and he walked into a 7-Eleven and started busting potato chip packets and squishing bread while staring at the 7-Eleven. Yeah, he loves breaking shit in the shops. Fuck me. We used to do some horrible things in 7-Eleven. Tear all the bread loaves apart and run out. Fuck, do you remember the eggings and like the rockings we used to do? Yeah, I remember. Don't probably say some of them. Yeah, pegging handfuls of gravel at trucks on highways. Yeah, cut that corner. No, leave that in corner. In fact, replay it. Oh ho ho. Pegging handfuls of gravel at trucks on highways. Yeah, cut that corner. No. Oh ho ho. Dude, I wasn't there that day. Yeah, we were kids. We were like fucking 16. No, he was younger than that. 15. Next question. It's from Sam Warner. What is something that other scientists do that generally pisses you off? Oh, it needs to be peer review. Your experiment needs to be peer review to be credible. Shut up. We're fucking two cunts. We're two peers here cunt. Fucking, we do an experiment. It's right. It's real. We don't need some other cunt saying that's right cunt. Other fucking scientists. You need to show the other scientists. They all got to say, yeah man, it's fucking right cunt. Fuck off cunt. It's fucking right when we say it's right. You fucking cunt. Cunt. Oh my God. Yeah, what he said. Next question is from... Mental health. Next question is from Dan Dore. Can you do the top 10 German words please? Fuck me. Katoffa kepa is just fucking incredible. That's a fucking... That's a ladybug. Fucking potato beetle is called a katoffa kepa. Krankenwagen means ambulance. Krankenwagen. Hals. Hals is neck. Kugelschreiber. Kugelschreiber. Means pen. Quego is fucking fire. Auf Wiedersehen. Goodbye. I think Fuego is Spanish. Sorry. Tschüssi. Tschüssi Mama. Imagine that you laugh. Dimensions influence. What else is there? That's like six already. There's... Schmetterling. Schmetterling. Is that fly? Is butterfly. Flieger. Flieger. Is fly. Wasser. I need Wasser. That's water. Dimensions and for us is the humans are for us. Hitler made that one up. Dimension. The girls are for us. Okay. We'll fucking... Hitler probably made that up too. Hey, come on man. Yeah, just calm down. You ruined the whole question. Everyone has a side to them that they don't like people to see. It happened man. Move on. Get over it man. Sorry. Next question is from Ben. Have you ever managed to get it up while on Coke or MD? Yeah. Yeah. Next question. Maybe we... What tips can we give without... MD? I don't find it hard getting up. I find it hard to finish on MD. Coke is hard sometimes. Coke is fucking hard to get it up. But it'll go inside. Yeah, you can thumb it in and then when you're in you might be able to get hard. Yeah, you gotta hope. You roll it up in a little cockball like a little fucking man-clit and thumb it in and maybe you're testicle as well so the girl feels something and then you swap around on... and try and get hard. But yeah, Coke Dick is nearly impossible. Yeah, MD... MD is probably a good thing because you can go all night because you don't jizz. It's frustrating though, man. I just want to get done and move on. Yeah, you can't finish. I just want to get the job done and get out of there. Oh. Fuego. Next question is from Call of Duty 23 Lopez. Mental health. If left with only three things to survive, the zombie apocalypse, what would they be and which three mates would you pick to be with you? Probably three things to survive. I'd go the country of Australia. I'd go... my second thing would be a seven kilometer wall going around the border of Australia and my third item to survive would be a machine that kills all zombies. Fuck, that's good. Yeah, that is a good answer. Thank you. What three people would you want to be with? Fuck. Mon. Bosley. You have to take Esther. Yeah, you have to take Esther. Yeah, you have to take Esther. Cool. I'd get Turkish Delights, a golf set and a golf course. That would make for golf fun because you could swing at them. And... The three people. Fucking... Surely Bruce Willis. Bruce Willis, yes. Probably Michael Jackson. And Donald Trump. Fucking, yeah, I'd have Trump. He's a good golf player. He loves his golf. Next question is from Peter Hunt. What's your best advice for picking up chicks? Be weird. I had a line back in the day. This did backfire sometimes. But it fucking works as well. And you ask the girl, have you ever seen a dead body? And it's fucking so strange like they think about it. Sometimes they're like, yeah, and they tell you a really horrific story. Yeah, I've just been to my mother's funeral. Yeah. But sometimes they're like, wow, that's so funny. You're so weird and strange next minute. I found the easiest way is just looks like as fucked as it sounds, looks really do not matter that much at all. Confidence is key. Yeah, you just got to fucking know that you're going to pick up and you will. So just work on telling yourself that you will. Because trust me. If you can get used to them saying potentially no, and that's the worst case scenario, it's fine. Just confidence. It's all you fucking need. If you get rejected, then... Some of our mates are like, my God, a fucking hideous, disgusting. Sorry. And they did so well. I'm talking about you, man. Sorry. You're a handsome gun cum. Thank you. Fuck. You know what I'm talking about, don't you? Next question is from Lee Wilson. Why are you guys not drinking anymore? Because... Health kick. Well, not only a health kick. I feel like it's a... It was time. It was time for us to fucking stop drinking like fish. It was fucking our bodies and our minds, and we weren't able to do the things that we're put on this earth to do. Make fucking videos. It was affecting everything. It was just time to scale it back and fucking out. Feeling fucking good. I can honestly say, what, two months in now or something? It feels like I'm slowly coming back to normal. Like I was fucking literally like five years ago before intense drug use began. I've started reading the Bible. You're a liar. Next question is from Round Earther. Could I breed with Bosley? Or could you at least sniff his Boshole and tell me what aroma he produces? I had to... That's fucking weird. He knows when his dog's about to shit. I can see his asshole expanding. I know the normal size of it, and then so when we're on walks, I can see it start to... Like that. Open a bit. I had to cut Bosley's toenails last night, which is fucking terrifying. Did you hurt him? Yeah, I was cutting little bit by little bit because they've got little blood vessels in their nails, and you don't know where they start. Some of his nails are black, so it was impossible for me to tell. It was fucking terrifying. And it's so hard, and he was shooting himself. No, we got through it unscathed, but I only cut the bare minimum off. How long did that take? Like 10, 15 minutes? Man, that's a mish. Yeah, it was terrifying. Next question is from Holtzaholtz. How much money will it take for you guys, including Matthew Brown, to hang out for half an hour? I'm from Melbourne, so I'll come to you. What, you want to hang out with us for half an hour? How much would it cost? Nothing. You just come fucking hanging out, bro. Yeah, fuck. No, fuck a 10 grand. Man, how good would it be if we could charge people with 10 grand? Just to hang out with us, and we just had like fucking our days just booked out fucking long, just chillin' with just little dates with people. Yeah, maybe we could do that, man. I get strange when people ask me a question, but I'm reading it out to you. Sorry. Anyway. Next question is from Sabrina. What is Mr. Matt Brown doing for work besides the podcast, which he fills with his beautiful laughter? Would you like to make a... Oh, also, would you like to make a video with Connor as a guest sometime? He's been a guest before, hasn't he? He's your first season. She always says, Pierce, crack-a-milk cracks me up. They are very good at what they do. Fucking hilarious. And should we get Connor back on comment... comment on this video if we should get... Should we get the whole fucking crack-a-milk crew on? Yeah, that's a lot of people. Yeah. We can make it happen. We'll just get them on one at a time, and they can each say a sentence and then rotate. We'll have a kissing comp. Who's the best kisser? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Alias, Alias. Kling, kling, kling. Shit! Yes, here we go. Oh, God, please, please. Oh, I'm slipping out. Focus, focus, focus. Don't laugh. You've got to fucking listen. It's not funny, Matt. I'm trying to do something here, man. Dude, it ruins the sound effects. You can't hear it as clear. We're going to have to take that mic away from you. Why aren't you doing 20-second long ones anymore? I fucking miss it, dude. Next question is from Lake McBogan. If I send some printed pictures of you guys with return postage, will you sign them for me? How do you do that? What do we do? They'll send you a picture of you and you guys can sign it and the return postage is already paid for. You've just got to post it back to them. So how do you post it then? You just go to one of the red things. One of the red things. I've literally, I think I've posted once. Or they could just email us and we'll just write our names on the email and reply, fuck. No, we'll do that, seriously. Alright, Lake, there you go, send it in. He says, you guys must be up in my man cave wall. 100% every time I laugh, my hernia pops out. Oh, what a legend. My hernia. Next question is from Dion T. What's the craziest drug experience you've ever had together? Fuck, well we've said this before. There's been so many. As a couple together. We were in bed one night, fucking after a night out and we'd taken like, I don't know, 10 caps. We were hallucinating aggressively. Then we took another, like, we did 18 caps in the space of seven hours each. And what happens is you get stuck in loops in conversation loops because your short-term memory is literally maybe 30 seconds to one minute. I'm not exaggerating. The conversation would be, what were we just talking about? I don't know, man. And we'd try and work out what we were talking about and then it would just start again. It was fucked. You can't piss, your body starts shaking because the nervous system shuts down. Did you have the same thing where you would take a hit of something and you'd be like, did we just take a hit of something? How many caps we took? We had to start again. We had to have a stopwatch and we'd be like, oh, it's haven't had one for a while. Now look at the stopwatch and go, fuck, we had one like five minutes ago. That shit, kids. Don't do it, to be honest. And also, what else was I going to say? You're 18 and responsible. Because fuck. I remember just looking at my hand and there was like electricity lines in between all my fingers. If you do enough MD, it's a psychedelic, man. And I was just lying in bed going... Yes. His back was like fucking fully concaved and he's just going to have fits of this weird sound. He's like a demon. It's like exorcist. I was pissing myself laughing and then we just try and get up, have turns, go into the toilet and you just can't piss. It's the worst. But that and many, many more of like, we just couldn't, we just did too many. We couldn't just have one or two. It was fucking everything. I reckon, yeah, permanent damage. I can't think... I'd love to get one of the brain scans to see how much of your brain has been melted away. It's just so... There were stages like after that where people would be talking to me and I'd have to fucking really concentrate on what they were saying because it took so long to program it. I remember when it started. I remember when the confusion shit started when you would literally make no sense after MD. You would just be talking like about just say a fucking random sentence and no one would be able to understand you and then it just got progressively worse and it started happening to me as well. That ends question time. There was one time we were in fucking the casino and I was sitting on a fucking chair and Marty comes up to me and I was like, dude, I've got to get this trip. I'm on my Uber when I was an Uber driver, my Uber account accepting fares. Like a driver. I was driving and he's like, dude. Yeah, I was like, what are you doing? Why are you accepting fares? And Mike was like, man, we've got to work, man. We've got to get to work. And we're in the middle of a fucking bar at the Gold Coast. And then there was another time when I was fucking trying to find dumbbells in a bar thinking where are the small dumbbells? I think I was in the gym. Ask me where the small dumbbells are. That's fucking insanity. But pretty cool. Anyway, fucking don't do drugs, kids. Or just don't do too many. Because fuck just doesn't end well. All right, prank call time, eh? No, we have letter opening time. All right, the next segment has been renamed to... And this is a segment where we just open the shit that you guys sent to our PO box. I'm not going to read anything that's on it. Not a thing. I'm just assuming this is mail to us. Are we going to fucking look at a Christmas card? Oh, it's a Christmas card, everyone. Let's read the inside. Dear Gary and Judy. That's not a dress. Who the fuck? Oh, it's addressed to a pastor and Mrs. G. Levens. Fuck. Someone's accidentally sent us this. And we're going to read it. I trust that you have had a safe and healthy year. I had a total hip replacement in January. And I'm now almost totally recovered. The travel restrictions have meant that I have had a full year at home, but have taught four courses online and been fully involved in my home church, church's ministry. Have a wonderful Christmas. Much love. Okay. So there you go, Gary and Judy. If you're listening, marry fucking Christmas from Kay. And Kay, that's not their address. It's actually our PO box. Yeah, fuck. It was sent to us. PO box 256. So not our fault. Well, we knew about it. We knew it was not addressed to us. I read it beforehand and I opened it anyway. You did too. I told you. It's a fucking great letter. Isn't it, Matt? Don't you think so? Who the fuck sends Christmas cards? Does anyone you know do this, Matt? Email. You fucking just email the cards. Who fucking does that? Old people. Old people do this shit still. All this is is just a stupid time wasting message for someone to brag about what they've done all year and then say much love at the end. Being very confrontational right now. I'm actually scared. Christmas cards are shit. Shaking a bit. Don't you reckon, Matt? Back me up. Yeah, I've got to admit, I think they're a waste of paper. That was not only a waste of our time, but their time too. Very uncomfortable. Killing the environment. Same with wrapping paper, wrapping presents. That is such a... If I got that, put some money in there. That's so shit. That's almost as bad as the fucking gremlins. Fuck me. Cut the gremlins. Fuck the gremlins, man. Leave the fucking gremlins in. Who the fuck sent us gremlins? I like the gremlins. Dude, we're sorry, we're not that... Send us some shit, but make sure it's worthy. What the fuck? You want to put it on the table? Glory, it must be worthy. Where are the fucking gremlins? They came alive and who knows where they are now? They're fucking gremlins. You're not seeing the movie. I melted them in the oven. They could have put a lot of effort into it. They could have painted them like warhammer shit. They're fucking cool, look at them. Yeah, okay. I'm hateful on the Christmas card. I love the gremlins. They're good. They're part of the table now. Let's all be together forever, everyone. The second movie was shit though. Give me my hand, man. It's the hand I've been using to scratch my ass. Very sticky. Thank you. Sediment. I love that word. Sediment. Sticky, biggy. All right, next segment. And there's the same movie. It's Frank Hall. We're going to give Arnold Fein a rest this week. And we're going to sub in... What's their name? Carl Filton. Carl Filton. Carl Filton. Yeah, that's good. What's a really friendly name? Maybe Margaret Little. And he's a man. His name is Margaret. Can you be a man and name Margaret? Yeah, I think so. And that's the character, that voice I just did then. Who can I call? Chinese restaurant. Boom. Spot on that. Exactly right. I'm going to call a fucking Chinese restaurant. Michael said that. Hey, hey, going. Yeah, hello. Look, I'm just after a pickup order for quite a large number of people. Would you guys be able to help me there? Or are you guys too busy or something? Yeah, so it's like you have the 30 people just like you. Yeah, look, I was just going to do a bit of a... Yeah, just a bit of a mixed bag there. And just sort of order some bits and pieces. A little bit of everything. Maybe some rice, some different sorts of dishes. And just sort of get something to cater to everyone's needs, if you know what I mean. Just something so that people can walk past a bit of finger food. Maybe some main courses as well. Maybe some drinks. Lots of rice and stuff like that. So yeah, just something like that if you guys are available for that. Oh, mate, that sounds great. That sounds lovely. Oh my God. You're like reading my mind or something. Yeah, that sounds lovely. Yeah, look, put me down for a couple of those. Do you guys have that Mongolian beef? Yeah. Yeah, look, I might get a couple of them too. A couple of Mongolian beefs. And listen, I got them. Sartae chicken skewers. Do you guys have... Yeah, sartae sauce to those. Like sartae chicken, sartae beef, sartae lamb, sartae king prawn. Yeah. That's great. That's great. I'm loving that. I'm loving these suggestions. Absolutely loving them. Keep them coming. Yeah, so great. So look at this. Look at this. Okay, look, let's do some rice. We'll do the sartae chicken. Mongolian beef. Yeah. Yeah, that's great. It's great to see. Love it. Small business. Supporting it. Oh, look, listen. Let me just have a quick head count here. So there's one, two, three, four, five. Six, seven, eight. And then Sarah's coming later with her brother-in-law. And then Timothy's bringing his two cousins. And then my uncle's coming with his boss. And his two kids are about 15 years old. So trust me, they can eat. They can bring in people coming. Yeah, that's great. So I could bring them all in. Or I can just send someone in to take the order and to take the food bag. So whichever is easier for you guys, do you know what I mean? Yeah. In the restaurant, I'm in the restaurant. And I show you that it's like mini spring roll. Anything. Listen, let's do that. If that's easier, I'll just come in. I'll get in the cabin. I'll come in. And I'll order from the menu there. And I'll do that for you guys. Is that what you're after? Yeah. Yeah, all right. We'll listen. Let's do that. I'll book an Uber and I'll come in. And we can talk face to face. How's that? Yeah, okay. Okay, sounds great, mate. I'll see you shortly. I should be in in about 20 minutes. See you later, mate. Thank you. Yeah, that's great. It's actually absolutely great. Lovely, lovely, mate. Thank you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Holy shit! Look how shiny I am from glistening sweat. Yeah, I know. I'm boiling. I was laughing. I was pouring sweat so much. Oh, I do. That fucking abuse scream is great. That Chinese guy was very tolerant. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's a nice dude. Oh, we're the best! We're the best! We're the best! We're the best!