 This channel has passed 12,000 subscribers. Thanks to everyone who has joined this journey through the world of GI Joe. I used to think we would top out at about 10,000 subscribers, but we've blown past that goal and we are still growing. A lot of people still remember GI Joe, and together we will relive those great childhood memories. Thank you all for being here. Now, on with the show. Buddy hooded Cobra Commander 788 here. This is the show where we review every vintage GI Joe toy from 1982 to 1994. This is a potato masher. And this is the swamp masher. I'm finally reviewing this perennial loser. Voters on Patreon were given a chance to choose the swamp masher for a review many times, and the swamp masher always lost. Finally, in September and the year of our Lord, 2020, the swamp masher finally won. Can the review live up to the hype? Of course not. This is the swamp masher we're talking about here. This is not one of the all-time great GI Joe vehicles. There's a reason it would always lose. There's still a lot to say about the swamp masher. It's a strange little buggy. HCC 788 at long last presents the swamp masher. This is the 1988 GI Joe swamp masher. This vehicle was first introduced in 1988 and was also available in 1989. It was discontinued for 1990. It did not include an action figure. It isn't listed on yojo.com, but the swamp masher was available as a mail-away offer in the 1990 catalog titled Attack of the Swamp Creature. This is the only release of this vehicle in the vintage or modern era. It's billed as a swamp vehicle. As such, it's GI Joe's first dedicated swamp vehicle. Surprising, GI Joe took so long to get to the swamps. Both Cobra and the Cobra-aligned gang, the Dreadnocks, had swamp vehicles well before then. For Cobra, 1984 was the year of the swamp. They got the water moccasin airboat, which is ideal for marshlands. Zartan also had the chameleon swamp skier, which was a small vehicle that could glide over shallow water. In 1986, the Dreadnocks added the swamp fire to their arsenal. It was a hybrid helicopter boat that could skim the swamp waters. That's not to say GI Joe didn't have vehicles that could be used in the swamp. In 1984, the killer whale hovercraft could easily fight in the swamps. It wasn't dedicated for that purpose, but it could be used for that. And it was the primary rival to Cobra's water moccasin. In the TV animated miniseries Revenge of Cobra, GI Joe used the Skyhawk as a swamp skimmer, even though it was designed as an air vehicle. In 1988, GI Joe's alternative swamp vehicle was the Tiger Force Tiger Shark, a reissue of Cobra's water moccasin in Tiger Force colors. Cobra and the Dreadnocks focused on the swamps, so GI Joe needed to step up its game if they wanted to retake that territory and they attempted to do so in 1988 with the introduction of their first dedicated swamp fighter, Muscat. And of course, with the introduction of the swamp vehicle, the swamp masher. The problem is, the swamp masher isn't a good swamp vehicle. Whatever they chose to call it, it's better suited for a different environment. The special triangular wheel design wouldn't do what a swamp vehicle needs to do. I will explain when I get to that segment of the parts and features. Yes, we will talk about those crazy wheels. This vehicle is much derided by GI Joe fans. The color is part of the problem. The weird wheel system is another. Maybe that's why it lost my Patreon polls so many times. I can't disagree with those criticisms, but I'll try to point out some of the good traits, too. Some fans think this looks more like a Dreadnock vehicle than a GI Joe vehicle, and that makes a lot of sense. The Dreadnocks sometimes used purple on their vehicles. They used light green as well. If the swamp masher had Dreadnock labels on it, it would fit right in. I do have the instruction sheet and the blueprints for the swamp masher, and I will be referring to this when I talk about the features on the toy. Let's look at the parts and the features of the swamp masher starting in the front. And in the front, we have a dark gray bumper and a dark gray front grille. Both are small. In the main body, there is a circular indent with slits that seem to indicate a headlight. The vehicle apparently has only one headlight. In the front, on the starboard side, there is a gray missile launcher that will elevate. And there's quite good elevation, in fact. It can fire almost straight up. And in that missile launcher, there are two purple missiles. The back of the purple missiles just press straight into the launcher. There are two of them. They are identical, and that purple color, I think, is what bothers most people. The blueprints identify these as Series 1 cruiser magnetic array detection bombs. Interesting that they're called bombs when they appear to be self-propelled missiles. They may be more like rocket-propelled grenades or mortars than actual missiles. The main body is bright green, not quite neon green, more like Kermit the Frog green. It has adequate detail, without being exceptional. Front and center molded into the main body, there is a control column with a single control stick. An American flag sticker for the US release. And on the inside of the cockpit, there is what appears to be a radar screen control sticker. In the cockpit, there is a very dark gray, nearly black seat. It is nicely molded. The leg room in the cockpit is a little bit narrow because of the post where the missile launcher pegs in. It's a little bit tricky to get a figure in there. But if you can wedge him in, you can put his hand on the control stick. It's not too thick for that. And his right foot will be in the center console, not on the right side where it looks like it should go. It's just too narrow to put the figure there. And once he's in there, he's in there quite securely. He doesn't need a seat belt or a backpack. He's not going anywhere. In Form BX257's review of the swamp masher, he showed how Muskrat's accessories could fit in the vehicle. I highly recommend you watch that video and watch all of Form BX257's reviews. There are platforms on either side of the cockpit, but they're far too narrow to carry a figure. The underside is plain without any additional detail at all. Let's talk about the wheels. This is the gimmick feature of this vehicle. The wheels are the reason the swamp masher is memorable and criticized. On each side, there are two clusters of three wheels in a triangular configuration for a total of twelve wheels. On smooth ground, the swamp masher rolls on eight wheels. This was probably inspired by the Landmaster, a twelve wheel vehicle created for the 1977 movie Damnation Alley. The triangular wheel configuration doesn't really come into play on smooth ground. It really is used when the swamp masher encounters an obstacle. When it hits an obstacle, the whole wheel cluster will rotate, allowing the swamp masher to climb over it. The effect of this is when the swamp masher rolls over an obstacle, the cluster of three wheels acts like one big wheel. It's also been suggested that these small wheels are really bogies for tank treads and credit again to Form BX257 for testing that out. That would make a lot more sense than having all these small free rolling wheels. Is this appropriate for driving in the swamp? I'm sure there are plenty of obstacles in the swamp to roll over. The problem is the marsh. The wheels would not work well with shallow water, mud and vegetation. The tall grass would get tangled in these wheels and the vehicle would sink because it does not appear to be buoyant. The whole design is more like a dune buggy with a whole bunch of purple wheels. It is not well adapted to the swamp. This configuration would work in rocky terrain. That's where the vehicle would encounter obstacles that would need to be climbed over. It wouldn't have to worry so much about sinking in the mud. Behind the cockpit toward the starboard side, there is a dark gray engine with dark gray exhaust pipes. No engine cover, but that's okay. This adds to the dune buggy look of the vehicle. Behind the cockpit on the port side is this really wicked looking purple machine gun on a dark gray turret. The blueprints call this machine gun a 20mm armor-piercing main cannon. And it is a multi-barrel machine gun. It's a mini gun. Looks great. Well, maybe except for the purple. That dark gray turret will rotate 360 degrees and the machine gun will elevate on a ratchet. And it's got really good elevation too and can be aimed at aircraft. It can take out air targets. I like this weapon. I think this is a good main weapon. It's a good size for the vehicle and it's ready to unleash a hail of lead on both ground and air targets. I see two downsides to this machine gun. First, it's purple. Second, the driver will go deaf with this machine gun firing so close to his head. At the very back there is a troop carrying platform with two foot pegs and a universal tow hitch in case you wanted to tow something behind the swamp masher. There is a purple bar for the passengers to grab. Although that's too thick for the action figure's hands, so don't try that. That platform provides a space for carrying two additional action figures for a total of three. If I can get them on there, there we go. And you can pretend that one of those figures is manning that machine gun. Who should drive the swamp masher? There's a strong case to be made for Muskrat since he was the team's swamp fighter and he is driving the vehicle on the box. The box also has hardball riding on the back and that's as good a choice as any. The TV commercial for the swamp masher has Storm Shadow version 2 driving with Shockwave riding on the back platform. And that certainly is an option. I'm not sure the Ninja and the Urban Fighter are the best choices for a swamp mission. Looking at how the swamp masher was used in GI Joe Media, it wasn't used very much. To my knowledge, the swamp masher was not in the animated series and was only animated for commercials. The swamp masher made an appearance in the comic book series published by Marvel Comics. It was an issue number 87 with the squad of Joe's Surveiling Castle Destro. It wasn't a very noteworthy appearance, but at least it's something. Looking at the swamp masher, overall it is very mediocre. It's small, it is not a rival for the vamp. It's roughly the same size as the awestriker, but it feels less substantial than the awestriker. It's short on features with the exception of those crazy wheels. The colors put a lot of people off and that's understandable. Purple? Why purple? Why bright green? Why dreadnought colors on a GI Joe vehicle? A more subdued color scheme would make a big difference. It wouldn't fix all of the problems on the swamp masher, but it would help. Let's talk about those wheels. What the hell? They don't look like they're suited for the swamp. Those wheels would get tangled in vegetation and the vehicle would sink in the water and mud. The wheels look like they're more suited for climbing over rocky terrain. In my opinion, the wheel cluster gimmick is not worth the trouble. And the swamp masher would be better off with big fat wheels or with tank treads. And with treads, it would be better suited for a snowy environment. You can use the swamp masher in almost any environment, but the swamp. Are there good points? Of course there are. The missiles are not bad. Unfortunately, they're purple. The machine gun looks great. It's one of the better machine guns on a GI Joe vehicle. Unfortunately, it's purple. There are some good possibilities here for customization. Customizers get on that, please. But as it is, I can't recommend the swamp masher. That was my review of the swamp masher. I hope you enjoyed it. Was that worth the wait? No. If you like GI Joe, make sure you subscribe for more reviews. You can find me on social media, on Facebook and Twitter. And I have a website, hcc788.com. I'm also on Patreon. If you'd like to support the channel in that way, you can get some special perks like early access to reviews and a sketch and a code book that can help you decode the secret messages you see in these videos. Special thanks to all the names you see scrolling on the screen. I could not do this show without them, and I would like for you to be one of them. 2020 is the year of the 90s on this channel. I'm reviewing a lot of 90s GI Joe toys, but we're taking a little break from that. The last vintage review I did was something from the 80s. This week was something from the 80s. Next week will be something from the 80s. And it will be a redo of an old review that I did because I think I can do better this time. Thank you for 12,000 subscribers. I'll be back next week with a vintage 80s GI Joe toy review. I'll see you then, and until then, remember only GI Joe is GI Joe.