 The Kraft Foods Company presents Harold Perry as the Great Gelder Sleeve. The Great Gelder Sleeve is brought to you by the Kraft Foods Company makers of Parquet Margarine. Millions of women all over America serve Parquet because it tastes so good. Why, Parquet tastes like it should cost twice as much. Do market, do market, do get some Parquet. Home again, home again, try it some day. You like it, you love it like millions who say their favorite Margarine needs. Parquet Margarine made by Kraft. Well, it's early evening in Summerfield and we find the Great Gelder Sleeve tiptoeing up his porch steps with a twinkle in his eye and Christmas packages in his pockets. Hope I can sneak in the house and hide these presents without the little family catching me. So far, so good. Birdie out in the kitchen, I guess. I think I can sneak by to the stairs without her seeing me. No, Birdie, just some Christmas presents. I want to hide them. Oh, sounded like you had learned jive. Yes, Birdie. Nothing, Marjorie. Apparently I am, Leroy. Left to dinner. Why does everybody want to catch Santa Claus? Maybe you seem to enjoy romping down here on the floor. But, baby, we better get up. It's almost your bedtime. But, baby, I have to hide those presents from the kids. That may be, but I've been down here long enough. Oh, but you look so comfy flat on your back. Put it up on your knees again. Yeah, I like to watch you slide down and bounce on your stomach. All right, it's one way to settle my dinner. Next time I get to slide down. Leroy, I don't want to settle it that bad. You're too big. Well, here we go, baby. Are you ready? The slide for life. One for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go. That'll have to do for now. You're getting a little big for this game yourself, you know, baby. Hop down on the floor now. Hey, wait a minute. Give me my tie class before you go crawling off. Look how fast you can crawl on feet. Yeah, I guess we have Birdie take over now, huh? Birdie! Birdie! You coming, Miss Gil, please? Yes, Birdie. Better take the baby up to her crib. She's too active for me. Yes, but she's all over the house these days. She certainly is. Come to Birdie now. Well, I have things to do. Going over to Miss Fairchild, Tunky? No, I don't think I'll go over to Atlas tonight. Judge is coming over to play checkers a little later. Well, I have to go upstairs now. What for? Are you going to take a nap? No, I thought I'd check the house. Check the house? Check the house. What for? Well, I have to see if all the windows are closed. See if the house is secure for the night. I do that every once in a while. You're cute. What? You're so transparent at Christmas time, but so nice. Go ahead and check the house. No, Marjorie, don't try to make anything out of this. It's just routine. Yeah, it's a routine he goes through every year about this time. No, Leroy. Why go to all the trouble of hiding the presence Uncle Morton? We'll find him anyway. We always do. You won't find him this time unless you've got radar. There's a dressing table behind those ruffles. I'll bring off this one already. Well, I'll have to re-wrap them before Christmas anyway. Well, there's an idea. I'll ask Adeline to come over tomorrow night after the children are in bed and we'll sit close to the fire and wrap Christmas presents. Nothing like a woman's touch when it comes to wrapping presents. What's that noise? Sounds like somebody outside the door. What are you doing peeking through the keyhole? I wasn't peeking, just trying to... Well, he's wise to that spot. I'll cross him up and hide him in his room. You're sly, gellishly. And all this junk in Leroy's closet. And nobody saw me except Leroy's turtle. Now remember, Elmer, keep this under your shell. Yeah, I guess he will. He winked at me. I can just sneak out of here now. Marjorie, what are you doing standing out here in the hall? Me? I just came upstairs to get a book. Yes, yes, now I'll have to hide them all over again. I'll never find them here in the baby's room. What's that? Somebody outside the door again? Who could that be? Oh, for goodness sake! May I help you wrap Christmas presents? Well, Adeline, we only have two to wrap, but we can make the job last all night. Oh, you. I missed you last night. I'd rather expect you to come over to my house. Well, I would have dropped in, but Judge Hooker came over to play checkers and I thought he'd never go home. I waited 20 minutes for the old goat to figure out a move, then I discovered he'd fall asleep. When you're around, Crockmorton, I never fall asleep. Sit down next to the fire Adeline. I'll go upstairs and get the presents. Oh, wait a minute, lover boy. Haven't you forgotten something? Hmm? Well, we're engaged and I've been here five minutes and you haven't even kissed me hello. Well, I guess I had Christmas on my mind. Then just pretend I'm Santa Claus. You close your eyes. I'll have a little present for you. All right. My eyes are closed. I wonder what it'll be. The heck with going up after the presents, I want to stay down here with Santa Claus. Well, you go on now, you hear? I want to see what you've got for the children. All right. Of course, I haven't bought everything yet, Adeline, and a little silver cowboy belt buckle for a little slop along Cassidy. That's Leroy. Wonderful. And I got a beautiful charm bracelet for Marjorie. Oh, I just love charm bracelets. Go get it, Crockmorton. Be right back. While you're resting, toss another log on the fire. Another log on the fire. The bracelet right here in the toe of this old pair of tennis shoes. Great place to hide things. Nobody goes near an old pair of tennis shoes. Wait a minute. It's gone. And the belt buckle is gone, too. How do the kids find that stuff in here? I'll bet Leroy does have radar. I'll find them in the morning. Let them have their fun. It's the holiday season. What the heck? Oh, where are the presents, Crockmorton? Somebody thinks they're playing a little joke in their old Uncle Adeline. I hid them from the kids, and now they've hidden them from me. That's too bad. Yeah, it happens every year. Well, I guess we won't get the wrap packages tonight, Adeline. Well, then what will we do? Well, it's only 9.30. Let's throw another log on the fire. I've searched this whole house. Where did the kids hide those presents last night? I wonder who that is so early in the morning. I'll get it, Bertie. I'm right here. Judge. Morning, Gilday. How about a game of checkers? Checkers? At this hour? Only kidding, Gilday. I just dropped by from a briefcase. I left it here on the hall table the other night. Oh, yeah. Here it is. You care for a cup of coffee, horse? No, thank you. I have to get to Cork. So I'll be brief, since I just came from a briefcase. Judge, so early in the morning. See you later, Gilday. Sorry to bother you, but my rebuttal is in the briefcase. Well, an old goat shouldn't be without his rebuttal. Goodbye, Judge. Certainly a spry early in the morning. No wonder he falls asleep so early at night. Hi, Aunt. Good morning, Auntie. Good morning. Well, children, congratulations. What are you talking about, Uncle Moore? You know very well what I'm talking about. Let's have the presents. Presents? Now, children, don't you think you've carried this little joke far enough? Morning, Mr. Gilday. Here's your coffee. Good morning, Bertie. Thank you. Bertie, you seem to be in cahoots with the children the other night. Perhaps you can tell me where the presents are. Me? I don't know where you hear them. Well, they aren't there, and somebody in this house knows where they went. Cross my heart, I don't. Leroy? Cross my heart. Leroy doesn't no longer funny. Whoever took the presents has worked at great inconvenience. Not only upon me, but upon Miss Fairchild. She came over here last evening to help wrap the presents. We couldn't find them. Consequently, our whole evening was wasted. Ah! Leroy! If you kids didn't take them, who did? Maybe this wasn't an inside job, Mr. Gilday. What's this, Bertie? I got a feeling we've been barely right. Now, Bertie, let's not let our imaginations run away with us. No, sir, but I know what I do. I call the police. Let's not get excited, Bertie. Wouldn't hurt to call the police. A lot of burglarizing has been going on around Christmas. Just last week, they ran back to the house where Lily B. works from top to bottom with a gun in fact. So you know what I do, Mr. Gilday? Yes, Bertie. That's right, I call the police. We've been burglarizing. Burglarized? That's ridiculous. I'll get this, everybody. I'll give whoever hit the presents exactly five minutes to put them back. Well, none of us took them. Get going now. Five minutes by my watch. What do you mean, Runky? My watch is gone. It is? You know what I do, Mr. Gilday? You're right, Bertie. Call the police. We've been burglarized. Most women are pretty careful about the things they buy for the family table. But when they do find something extra good, well, there's no changing them. And that's why so many women keep on using parquet margarine once they've tried it. Well, it's natural that anybody like parquet. It tastes so good. Tastes as though it should cost twice as much. Parquet, you see, is prepared as carefully as a luxury food. Only the selected products of American farms are used in making it. That's why parquet has such a delicate, light flavor and makes such a delicious topping for rolls, waffles, and pancakes, as well as bread. And parquet is as nourishing as it is delicious. Every pound is packed with food value, plus 15,000 units of essential vitamin A. But the real reason most people prefer parquet is it's just grand food to eat. It tastes as though it should cost twice as much. Tomorrow, try parquet. Enjoy its delicate flavor. See if you don't agree that it tastes as though it should cost twice as much. That's P-A-R-K-A-Y, parquet margarine made by Kraft. Now let's return to the problems of the Great Gilder Sleeve. What would you do if you hit two Christmas presents and they mysteriously disappeared? And then you're watch banished. That's right, call the police. Or if you were the Great Gilder Sleeve, you'd go direct to the Chief himself. Those are the facts, Chief. What do you propose to do about it? Were you sure you didn't forget where you put them? I did not forget. Somebody stole them. Well, it's just hard for me to believe that any criminal that steal children's Christmas presents, he'd have to be a very ill-mannered person. I don't expect him to be a secretary of the YMCA. Or it couldn't be old Mr. Mooney. Chief, I'm not accusing Mooney. I'm not accusing anybody. All I know is that Summerfield is full of brigglers. No, Commissioner, is that a nice thing to say? And I demand that you send somebody out to investigate. But, Commissioner, I can't spare a man during the holiday. Why not? We're operating on a staggered schedule the way it is. Then ask the mayor for more cops. Don't we have enough policemen, but like everybody else, the boys have to do their Christmas shopping sometime. What? But I'll tell the boys to be on the lookout for... Yeah, I know. On the lookout for a bargain. I'll handle this myself. Do you want to thank the others for you? What can your friendly neighborhood druggist do for you today? Peavey, I've been burglarized. How's that? My house has been ransacked from top to bottom. I declare anything taken? Marjorie's charm bracelet, Leroy's silver belt buckle, and sometime last night, or this morning, my watch was taken. Your watch? Yes. You remembered, Peavey, the one you jolly boys gave me on my birthday? Oh, yeah. I'm sick about losing that watch, but it lasted me a lifetime. No, no, I wouldn't say that. What? I imagine you put the police on the trail, Mr. Gillifilm. The police, Chief Gates and his keystone cops couldn't trail a circus through a swamp. Looks like I'll have to be my own detective. You don't say. Have you seen any suspicious characters in your neighborhood? No, but somebody's been around with sticky fingers. Well, perhaps there's a kleptomaniac among your acquaintances. Kleptomaniac? I hadn't thought of that. They drift into the pharmacy here every once in a while. They do? Well, how do you spot them, Peavey? Well, most of them carry something to put the loot in. You know, an empty shoebox is a popular item. Huh? So if I suspect them of shoplifting, I always ask to see their new pair of shoes. Pretty sly, Peavey. Of course, a merchant has to be very careful whom he accuses. Now, Judge Hooker was in today and he picked up a box of aspirin and walked out without paying for it. But you'd hardly call the judge, he kleptomaniac. Of course not. Then, on the other hand, you can't tell who they are. Your best friend might turn out to be one. Is that so, Peavey? Hooker is my best friend. Yes, sir. A friend of mine used to come into the store every evening to help me lock up. And I began to suspect the pharmacy had a pack rat. Till one evening, I put on my friend's overcoat by mistake. There was more merchandise in his pockets than there was in the store. Fine friends. Hooker was over the morning I missed my watch and his briefcase was pretty heavy. But what would he do with a charm bracelet? What did you say, Mr. Guilner's name? Huh? I mean, just thinking out loud, Peavey. Be silly to suspect somebody of taking things they don't even need, wouldn't it? Oh, no, Mr. Guilner's name. That's a kleptocharacteristic. It is. Poor judge. Once they get to disease, they just can't help themselves. Guess not. Well, so long, Peavey. And here's a dime. What's that for? For Judge Hooker's aspirin. My dear old friend, Judge Hooker. Well, I won't prosecute. All I want to do is recover the goods. I'll try to be tactful with him for once. Perhaps I can get the old fellow back on the spate and narrow. Hello, Judge. All right, to come in. Hello, Guilde. Have a chair. I'll be with you as soon as I sign these letters. No hurry, Judge. Look at that sweet old man in there at his desk. The picture of dignity and respectability. Who would ever think that life is an enigma? I'm nearly through, Guilde. You sure are, brother. Take your time, Horace. Poor old fellow's been working too hard. He probably doesn't even know what his trouble is. Now then, Guilde, what can I do for you? Judge, sit down. Sit down? Judge, I think at some time or other, everyone needs a little sound advice. I agree. Fine. So, Horace, I'd like to have a heart-to-heart talk with you. Oh, what about? Well, Horace, promise that whatever I say, you won't hold it against me. Because it's something only a best friend would tell you. What are you getting at, Guilde? Judge, old friend, perhaps nobody has ever talked to you about. Pleptomania? Pleptomania? Oh, yes. I've always considered it a most fascinating subject. So I got it. As a magistrate, I make quite an exhaustive study of pleptomania. In fact, I often wish I had a little of that in me. A little of it? Yes, instead of picking up things, I'm always leaving them someplace. Say, that's right. Yeah, my rubbers, my umbrella, my briefcase. Say, that reminds me, I forgot to pay PV for a box of aspirin today. But here I am rattling on about myself, and you came to me with a problem. Now, tell me, old friend, how long have you been troubled with this insatiable urge to pick up things? Let me out of here. Maybe the chief was right. Maybe I did mislate the presence. I'm not infallible. Well, sure, they'll show up. Oh, I'm so glad you're home. Marjorie, what's all the excitement? Guess what happened? Don't tell me I know you found the presence. No, my earrings are gone. Your earrings? Uh-huh, and I had them just this morning. I was right all the time. There is a burglar around. What are we going to do? Let me get at that telephone. Chief Gates and his force are going to get on a job if they never get their Christmas shopping done. No, Leroy. Just leave that to me, and Chief Gates. He should be along any minute now. What makes you think the burglar will come back again, Uncle? He struck three times, so he'll strike again. There's nothing to be afraid of, you understand? That's all right for you to say. You got a shotgun. Just to scare him with, Bertie, I'm out of shells. Well, I'm taking the frying pan to bed with me. I can hear loud bong each time I come in the window. Now, Bertie, there's nothing to be afraid of. Yeah, it must be the chief now. Don't anybody get excited now. Well, good evening, Commissioner. Chief, it's about time you got here. Come on in. Hello, coach. No, no, no. Don't anybody get excited. The police have taken over. I've got a dragnet around the house. No, you're on the ball. Who do you want us to do? Chief. Well, you might put that shotgun away, Commissioner. Chief. And the rest of the family should act perfectly normal. Go up to your rooms, turn out the lights, and go to sleep. You hear that, children? All right, Uncle. Oh, you get out of the covers. Oh, what about the baby up there? Want me to take him in my room? No, no, no. Don't disturb the little tyke. And don't worry. I'm inside, and my men are outside. But he's a little nervous. Now, Commissioner, if we expect to catch the burglar, we'll have to set a little trap. Trap? Anything you say, Chief. Well, first, we'll turn out all the lights. Turn out the lights? Oh, yes. Then we'll sit here in the living room, back to back. Back to back? So we can see both entrances. What time is it, Chief? Well, look, I can see the dial. Nothing exciting has happened since Birdie's frying pan fell out a bit. You know, everything must be all right outside, or we'd have heard from the dragnet. How many men do you have out there, Chief? Two. Officer Haney and my father-in-law. Your father-in-law? Sworing in to give him a little Christmas money. Oh, my goodness. Chief, the way you run that department... Did you hear that noise? No. I can't say that I did. It must be imagining things. You know, Chief, you keep listening for noises long enough, and pretty soon you think you hear them. I did hear it that time. So did I. Sounded like it came from upstairs. Why don't we take a look? You go first, Chief, if you want to. Coming from the baby's room. One side, Chief, let me out. After me, Commissioner. Hurry up, Chief. I've got the lights. Hands up. What do you know? It's the baby rattling her crib. Baby, were you making all that noise? Baby, don't cry. We didn't mean to frighten you, little Tom. Well, wait a minute. I know how to stop that, Chief. She loves to get out on the floor with me. Yeah, baby. Show the Chief how you can crawl. Come to Chiefy, baby. Hey, baby, come back with my tie clasp. She's always grabbing baby. Look, oh, she's throwing it in the waste paper basket. Yeah, get it for me, will you, Chief? All right. Well, is this where you keep the family jewels, Commissioner? Jewels? What do you mean? Oh, one pair of earrings, belt buckle, charm bracelet. What? Commissioner, I think we've rounded up the burglar. Baby, are you the burglar? You little rascal. Chief, is my watch in there? Is this it? No crystal in one hand, Missy? Oh, baby. Well, maybe Santa Claus will bring me a new one for Christmas. Now for the biggest news to come out of Parquet's baby naming contest. The final news you've all been waiting for. The winning name for the great gilder slave's little baby girl was suggested by Mrs. J. C. Walker of Birmingham, Alabama. Our special congratulations to you, Mrs. Walker. You not only get a 1949 Ford sedan, you also get the grand prize of $1,000 in cash. Yes, indeed. Congratulations, Mrs. Walker. Friends, we certainly want to thank everyone who sent in names for the baby. You bet, baby. We're sorry that all of you couldn't win prizes. 720 of you did. But I know we're all happy for the winners. What's that? Oh, yes, of course. The folks want to hear your name. Well, get ready. It's Romary. That's right. Romary. R-O-M-E-R-R-Y. Seems to fit, too, doesn't it? You've certainly been roaming around tonight. Thanks again from all of us and from the Kraft Foods Company, the makers of Park A. Margeron. We hope all of you will keep using and enjoying Park A. on your table. The Great Gilderslave is played by Harold Perry, Adeline Fairchild by Miss Una Merkel. The show was written by John Elliott and Andy White with music by Jack Meakin. Included in the cast are Walter Tetley, Mary Lee Robb, Lillian Randolph, Earl Ross and Richard Legrand. This is John Wald saying goodnight for the Kraft Foods Company, the famous line of Kraft quality food products. Be sure to listen in next Wednesday and every Wednesday for the further adventures of The Great Gilderslave. Here's news that will send cheese lovers hurrying down to their dealers. Now, at long last, Kraft has plenty of aged, natural American cheese, the kind that comes in big golden wheels. Since 1941, the demand for cheese has almost exceeded the supply. And as a result, it was difficult to set aside much for aging. Just this past year, Kraft could send plenty of fine shedders to the curing rooms, guarded for months and months. And now, aged American is back. So ask your dealer for a wedge of this mellow, grand-eating natural cheese, the kind that is aged so carefully for you by the master cheese makers of Kraft.