 It doesn't interfere with my, you know, morals that I have as a person. I won't, it won't interfere with someone's bad to me, I won't let it happen. I might be more forgiving and give people more chances in terms of, you know, what are affecting my daily life but it's also, it's very confusing and it's also quite relieving because I can't hate anybody so I don't have any resentment for anybody. Hello everybody, I'm Asperger's Grove and today we are talking about nihilism. Nihilism and why I can't help hating anybody. This is going great isn't it? I'm going to be talking about why I can't hate anybody and why that ties into my personal beliefs about nihilism which is feeling like there is no meaning to anything, not just feeling like that, actually believing it and having this core value. And now I've gone over this in other videos but if you're just watching this one as a standalone, I'm just going to give you a bit of insight. I've been nihilistic for probably a long but quite a while, maybe three or four years. I'm aware of it about a year and a half ago, two years ago and I've been developing my beliefs and my philosophical structure ever since then. And one of the strange things that I've come across from diving into the world of meaning and all that kind of fun stuff is that I cannot hate anybody anymore no matter how hard I try. Now you might be thinking, hey this is not a bad thing and it could not be a bad thing, it depends on what your views on my views are. The reason why I can't hate anybody is not because of emotional reasons, it's truly logical. Obviously there is some emotion behind it but for the most of it it is completely logical. So one of the things that come from being nihilistic is that because you lose all meaning in things and if you delve into the sort of cosmic nihilism which is like a subgenre, so weird and over the top and basically means when you incorporate science and reality and physics and biology and chemistry into your belief system about the world. In this video I'm going to take you through how I arrived at not being able to hate anybody and from being a person who quite readily just didn't like people and could say that I hated people very, very easily. So it also started when I started looking into you know what I am and there's a point in my philosophical journey that I'll use that journey word again. As I said turned a bit more scientific so I started looking into brains, neurotransmitters, hormones and all that kind of stuff and a little bit into consciousness which is to do with physics and perception of time and all those those kind of things which is sort of a little bit different but it plays into this a little bit. So I believe that what I am, I started thinking about it, I've always believed that we are organisms and we are animals, we are animals. It's something that you know there's a common knowledge I'm not trying to give you any more insight into it but when you go into this whole nihilistic journey thingy what happens is you start taking it a lot more seriously. You start questioning what you are. We like to think ourselves as humans as quite different sort of animals and it's quite egotistical and anyway it's quite hard to as a philosopher and you know try to distinguish the boundaries between animals and you know consciousness and it's a very very difficult thing to comprehend the fact that you're just a pumping bag of muscle and covered by a layer of skin and what you are is just a bunch of electrical signals that have you know formed away in a certain way in order to survive better and that survival was you know extended to you creating the whole persona of yourself and an ego I guess and get going to these horrible spiritual words again just completely ignore the connotations behind that word but for the most of it what an ego is is what people generally think they are, what they want to think they are and that's all good that's fine that's the general consensus so I'm in the minority here I'm very happy to say that I'm not happy to say I'm very open to say that I am and I agree with that I am in the minority so although this ego is is created because to cope with the the feedback patterns that we have like there are no ones in our brain so like the only reason they fire is because of certain genetic changes the certain genetic changes have caused them to act in a certain way and the ones that act in a way that's favorable to our survival will progress and then become more complex and at some point in the genes there'll be an increase in you know amount of neurons the amount of feedback in those neurons and increase and increase as evolution goes on until we form these very complex beings that need some sort of grounding because we've become so analytical that we need to have some grounding into what's happening which is a very hard thing to to comprehend when you think about it what I'm speaking out of now and what I'm thinking out of is just a bunch of cells working together and that's um that's that's the first thing which is the understanding that we are just organisms going further into just cells working together and that sort of progressed on to something else which was looking into you know what we are it's a very it's a very difficult thing to talk about and relate to because everybody has their own take on and their own experiences so I'm going to try to be as general and open as open to normal opinions as possible and my the next step of my journey going from on the the whole science thing and the whole reality thing was trying to find out some solid solid thing that I could find in this whole you know mess of possible things there's there's you could you can make concepts for anything you can you can say that you know there's some soul or something um to kind of ground yourself and stop you from trying to reach the real target I know there's obviously if you've got if you spiritual and stuff I'm not trying to impose my beliefs on you but I'm just speaking from my own brain and I'm just I'm just giving you my opinion that's the key word opinion it's my opinion and the one thing that I could I tried thinking of things I tried thinking of emotional emotional ways of validating our existence um all got destroyed by their cells and the neurotransmitters and hormones and stuff because you know you can take drugs and feel there's good better than love for people you know again ecstasy and MDMA is like it causes people to release these chemical they have this such high serotonin levels that they you know confess their deepest emotions and connect with people on some whole different level I've never done it myself but I've read into it a lot and that's um you know it's it's one of the examples that you know you can't rely on your emotions to validate your existence and that's that's one of the one of the things and then I started thinking about logic as well um logic is in in my my belief is is something that supersedes emotion like emotions are a very primal way of dealing with life and we use our intelligence in order to make our emotions good and fulfill the survival instincts that we have and we have very complex ways of doing this because of our our different makeups and our learned behaviors as a kid and our learned values and core beliefs but even if you can be logical about things you still can't you still can't justify a lot of the concepts that you have in your head when you go into this this whole thought process and the only thing that comes out on top is uh you've probably heard it before I think they're what I am and that's one of the the end goals of a philosopher I can't remember his name I'm really bad with names and but I do know there is there's one that said that and that has been an end goal for a lot of people a lot of nihilists and a lot of philosophers and thought just the ability to think is um prove proving that you're existing and I don't believe that I don't believe that I've it's it's it's very close but I think truthfully like out of my head right into your head I think the only thing that I am and the only thing you are the only thing that everybody is this that you know this thing is just observation just observing things I wouldn't classify like when it's at I and stuff you know it's um talking about what I'm speaking for but it's like even that the person who's speaking is not me I don't classify me as me which is a very strange weird thing to say I hope you don't think I'm being all weird and stuff but I think that the only thing that's grounding is the fact that I am able to observe something it's hard to develop on that it's hard to ground out in logic it's just the only thing I know that's concrete is that I can observe things like even my own cognition and stuff could be completely separate from my consciousness I could just be consciousness observing what I'm doing not having any input on it and that's the whole the whole meaning behind it and that's that's the end goal in terms of you know understanding things going on to the reason why I hate people is the fact that because I believe that this this consciousness is me and it kind of stops people from in my mind being responsible for you know the person inside the consciousness being responsible for the person that they're observing it's um oh my god I think it's getting so so deep isn't it so quickly you have to tell me if you you're not completely lost in this I'm very very sorry if you if you are and try my absolutely best to explain to you what it's like but because I have separated consciousness from people um and I don't believe as a as a secondary thing that we have free will I'm not religious or spiritual so I don't believe that there is some external force because in order to have free will you need to have an external force acting on your biology because otherwise what what would you consider free will like give you product of your genetics and product of your environment and that's it in terms of what you are in terms of what I think you are you could have a different view and that's completely okay but that is that is my view and so if I was going to say to the extremes murderers people all those kind of things I I think that I don't I don't you know I don't I feel sorry for them um in terms of living my daily life I would on the on the outside as as a person as my ego I would actively try and get them put away and I just sort them out you know like if someone's getting attacked or something I'm not going to say oh well they can't help it I would definitely help out and it's it's not the case that it's going to intrude on my life it's just this this this background concept that always always plucks up when someone does something bad to me and someone does something good any any sort of thing that people do is um it's not meaningless but I see through it and I see the consciousness I don't know not consciousness I don't want to keep saying that spiritual horrible little little word that completely gives people the wrong idea of what I'm like and I'm not spiritual I'm philosopher you could say that's similar but I don't believe in the external force of spirits and stuff so that kind of puts that away so don't don't mention it I know you're not mentioning it I keep bringing it up but I just want to me that distinguish like you know clear you know I'm not I'm not spiritual but anyway if the person who I would interfere with someone who's been attacked so I would definitely interfere and help out and you know if they were to attack me in response to that I would I would attack them as well and not only it doesn't interfere with my you know morals that I have as a as a as a person I won't it won't interfere with someone's bad to me I won't let it happen um I might be more forgiving and give people more chances in terms of you know what it affects in my daily life but it's it's it's it's also it's very confusing and it's also quite relieving because I can't hate anybody so I don't have any resentment for anybody I think I see them as you know just their product of their own genetics and environment and the real damn is just this you know awareness and that's it's also it's given me a lot of ways of thinking about things as well I find it very hard to think about the concept of love love is like unconditional love it's completely like alien concept that I've never been able to logically justify to myself it's like why would I love someone if they if they're horrible like and they don't care about me like why would I love them like but the whole concept of unconditional love comes in when I am in love in maybe even love in terms of family love in terms of friends in terms of the people just people in general and relationships I'm in love with their awareness like that's it that's why that's what I see them as and it's it's completely it covers everybody no matter anybody it doesn't it's not it's not exclusive to anybody and it can be more intense and they can feel more attached to people and I can I can feel more love and you know connection with somebody who lets me get down to that deeper level which is one of the factors that you know made me attracted to people and made me want to get into relationships with people and that and that main factor of loving them unconditionally has been very useful to me it's helped me stop being so reactive and hurt and playing the victim a lot so it's very therapeutic for me and but in terms of a standpoint when I'm saying you know I love like people that are horrible and just evil people and it can be very like a bold statement obviously because if you if you don't come across from the perspective that I have as a nihilist it doesn't it doesn't translate very well translate behind a horrible person and I don't have any concepts of morals and stuff but that's um it's completely not the case I've just realized from the the screen now that I've been rambling on about the subject for a while it was supposed to be a very small subject um it's obviously I had a bit of a bit of a turn in stories and all that kind of development of speech and ugly, bubbly, bliggly, blubula if you know what I mean but anyway yeah that's why I cannot hate anybody I seriously do not hate anybody believe me I cannot um but it doesn't mean that if you're a horrible person I'm gonna let you get away with it because I've got morals and you know I want I want people to be good feel good and you know it's not good to observe people in pain or people upset and that's one of the reasons why I want to help people connect with people and make people feel like they're less alone you know like if you're a nihilist watching this like I feel you like it's really hard to like accept that someone does feel like you but I really do like if you're watching this just send me a comment like just give me an email like tell me about it like if you feel like you're alone and you feel like I completely don't get you old just it's hard like you people have to pass this this barrier of accepting that people can feel like them and I do as well it's very hard for me to accept my you know depression and stuff but I reckon it could happen you never know and um you have to be open to the fact that you know I could you know could be very similar to you and have very similar thought patterns and you know if you want to talk to me and you want to connect with me then you can yeah cool awesome so I'm not I'm not the normal nihilist type I've got a funky old Thailand teacher a t-shirt teacher for reading slip and a little hat tell me what you think the hat in the comments do you like the hat should I wear it more often I don't think I used to suit them but nowadays I kind of like them feel like it suits me suits my face more what do you think anyway yeah I love you guys let me know down in the comments if you're enjoying this series of videos that I'm doing if you're an eyelash yourself get in contact share your opinions with other people if you think that I'm talking a lot of the hopscobble and you want to tell me how it is and and say you're and you can debate it like I'd be very very happy to have your opinions you know I value everybody's opinion and no matter what is and to some extent it unless you're just being stupid so this has been the end of the the long I think four videos that I've done sat here I was gonna do some exercise but I'm sort of procrastinating a little bit because I love talking to you guys so much I don't know if you could call it talking to you guys I'm more or less just either talking to myself or talking to a camera so yeah it's a whole different video to go into isn't it but yeah like subscribe if you like the video I'm gonna start plugging news in again because I can't help myself so any any support helpful just you know share my videos if you know someone who's going through something similar to me or has a similar thought pattern and thinks they're all alone in it let them know about this video share on social media just I'm a very small channel right now so any help with that kind of thing would be immensely helpful and I would be in your debt until the end of time and space and all that happens and everything falls into an eternal blackness thank you very much for watching I'm gonna go eat another apple hole and if that triggers anybody what's going on in this chair