 Question is from Johnny olives. How would you guys recommend trying to address insecurities in yourself? Oh, yeah You know, it's a telltale way of knowing whether or not you have an insecurity is How how much does it criticism about a particular thing? How defensive do you get? Yes? Like if you know like if somebody came up to me was like, you know, you're you're fat, you know And I'm always been skinny my whole life. I'd be like doesn't faze me at all You know, I mean so it's like the the criticisms that you get that really affect you We're like and maybe they're not even criticisms pump Someone just makes a comment, but you're really heated or bothered about it by it. Yeah, that's probably an insecurity 100% and To that point This is why when I feel that in myself I put myself in those situations to learn to deal with it for example Cavs 100% was been a sore spot in my life forever So I'm now the guy who will even wear shorts in the winter time like I Yeah, I will I will wear I will wear my my shorts all the time because I Want to make myself comfortable with people talking shit saying things to me like me looking in the mirror going Oh feeling like I'm gonna get reps just like anything I want to get reps with that insecurity to where it becomes something that's no longer an insecurity for me So I think that is Perfect, Sal like you when you can tell that it bothers you and then you take that Okay, right now in the last two years, right? So I've always talked about one of the things that motivated me to get in Into shape and to work out was being insecure about being skinny and small So of course when I go from imagine, you know being all Steroided up being a bodybuilder making it all the way up to the pro level jacked looking amazing And then now going the opposite direction like I've and I intentionally put myself in this I'm not gonna try and hang on to every pound of muscle and focus on getting bigger I'm I'm gonna get lean and mobile and limber and and be comfortable with being skinny Adam or whatever Or what I perceived as skinny right because the average person probably looks at my physique and doesn't think I'm skinny But that's how my brain works And so I put myself in that and I can I will continually challenge Things that I think are potential insecurities. That's to me. That's the only way I've ever learned to get through those things is to Embrace it for go after it first, right? That's what I've learned over over the years of growing up and like being teased all the time for being like, you know Like super super ghostly white for instance that That used to be like something that was just I mean everybody had to bring that out, you know They're just like pointing that out on me and I'm like, wow, I guess that's true, you know like like well fuck So if I ever take my shirt off or go to the beach, I'm just like hey guys You're ready for the second son, you know throw my shirt off and just like you got to acknowledge it right away And then everybody's just like ah and then and then it doesn't come up again And then it's just like who gives a shit one of the things that has made the three of us kind of invincible to hate on social media or wherever is That we have a lot of self-depreciating humor and there's no way yeah You ain't gonna pick on us as much as hard as we pick on each other, right? And it and yeah that we pick on the things we know are insecurities of each other We we and and I love that about each of us is that We the game trying to find that right a couple of assholes. We know that and And so it's funny because if someone does like attempt to kind of hate on us It's like you do do if they do they do something that's like not even a soft spot. It's like it's not funny at all It's like it's a weak it's a weak attack and you can't because we've already presented it We've already attacked it. We've already admitted it We've already laughed at each other and poked at each other with it And so a lot of that really helps when you're somebody who is battling or doing that instead of hiding from it running from it Trying to you know avoid it like it only hurts when you believe it You know I mean like if somebody says something negative about you and you believe that negative thing Yes, well, well that's gonna fucking hurt your feelings But if they say something to you negative that you don't believe because you're confident in that in yourself It doesn't bother you at all. It reminds me of when I would hang out with like pro fighters, you know, we'd go out and You know guys would bump into them or say something and some of the most secure like these are guys that could wipe the Floor with pretty much anybody that they bump into and they'd be like, oh, excuse me. No problem And like they were never threatened. They never want to start shit And it was because they were super confident in their owner They didn't feel any threat. Well, even if you even if you do feel it like, you know I I just I wrote something that I'm gonna post soon On emotional intelligence and I feel like there's not enough conversation We focus so much on IQ very few people talk about the importance of emotional intelligence and self-awareness and social awareness I've learned now like if something even does sting or it bothers me or what about that is like I kind of grin at it and it's like, oh, wow that that's enlightening I didn't know that would bother me or that affect me and that's something now I've learned about myself and I have something to work on to grow to improve So when you have those moments of feeling instead of like being afraid of them or trying to deny them or ignore them Like accept them like, oh, wow, that's enlightening Katrina and I even have this in our relationships One of the things I love about her is, you know, her and I will be saying something back and forth talking Maybe we're even arguing or debating something and one will say other and you know Her or I will stop the conversation and be like, hey, that's stung a little, you know Like and then it's not her saying that hey Adam that stung a little you're an asshole for saying that She'll also stop and go like why did that bother me so much? You know, why did that bother me so much that you said that because I know you weren't trying to hurt me when you But that offended me and I'm now I'm then you find me apologizing for doing that because my intentions weren't to hurt And then she you see her starting to unpack where is that rooted from and so when I feel like the soft dick comment I got the other day that was fucking epic I and and and now what was so epic about I was like wow that could have several meanings that could totally So many layers it was it was so and I wish I would have thought of that and instead of me Getting mad and going down the rabbit hole with this chick and you know insulting her more. I complimented her I said man, I didn't want to like you but because you came up with such a good insult for me great bird Yeah, I like you now like and so I think you got to learn to reframe Insecurities and things like that as growth opportunities. You just have to be honest about them It's interesting because as a kid I was very insecure about being skinny and then I would hear other people girls in particular Talk about wanting to be skinny and I and I would hear that and they'd be like what why don't you want to be skinny? I want to be skinny. That's a great I'm gonna think like that word meant such a different thing to me and it was because it was One of my insecurities so and now this is not easy, you know You if somebody hurts your feelings, right? You want to defend yourself right away, but it takes a set You got to stop like why do I want to fight back so hard on that insult? Why does that piss me off so much? Do I believe it to be true? Maybe I do maybe that's why it hurts so much and then kind of go down that route it's it presents itself as a challenge in our life and But life would be boring as fuck if it had no Challenges and things for you to work on so you know when it when it presents itself like that awesome It's something there by no means does anybody in this room not have insecurities. We all do and I Often new ones present themselves. It doesn't like it's not like you find one or two insecurities You think those are your own insecurities you fix them and you don't have them anymore fucking something else will pop up Oh, yeah, especially now that you have a son, you know as your kids grow up You start to see your own and see you know I mean like oh my god Are they and you have your own insecurities and they might have different ones than you but you think that they're gonna have the Same ones as you know, I like I have a client who's you know She's in her mid 50s and we were just talking about this We share a common insecurity and and we were talking about this and and it's similar because she didn't finish her degree I didn't finish my degree She's an extremely successful woman and she's around a lot of people with PhDs and masters all the time and She goes, you know, I don't know why it is still this day that you know I get in a situation and when I'm around those people I get very insecure about my level of education It's I'm like so crazy that you feel that way because you're such a successful person I have the same one I get into rooms with a bunch of people that have a bunch of acronyms after the name and I find myself You know having to share my bankroll or talk about the success that I've had in business to feel like I'm at their level That's a total insecurity and I'm very aware of that and knowing that it's something I'm always working on and I don't beat myself up when I make the mistake I think it was just maybe a couple months ago I was in another room like that again and I caught myself Sharing the success of mine pump or whatever and I'm like why the fuck did I do that? They didn't ask for it, you know, I'm saying they didn't ask like because I'm there's there's a difference between Sharing information when someone directly asks you like hey, Adam We're how's mine pump doing with this or that and then there's the me giving that information because that's like walking into a room Hey, what's up? My name's Sal so I could bench 315, right It's totally like that, but it like a different so I think it's not something that Because of it. I don't shy away from those rooms in fact I put myself in those situations more often and then I challenge myself to to shut up and just because I'm in a room of a Lot of other successful or intelligent men and women I don't need to peacock and talk about how successful and what other people think is none of your business anyway So there you go