 Oh, it's one thing to like talk to someone online, but it's a it's a whole other thing to meet them in person, especially with this kind of context. My heart is like warm with excitement and also I'm super nervous. Illumination just dropped her new video and we learned a little bit more about the story. So in this video we're going to talk about what really happened and what also might be able to help you too if you can relate. What is up everybody? This is Chris from the Rewired Soul where we talk about the problem but focus on the solution. And if you're new to my channel, my channel is all about mental health and what I like to do is pull different topics from the YouTube community to try to teach you how to improve your mental and emotional well-being. And I am also going to make another video after this video. Not sure if I'm going to release it tonight or in the morning. Tristan's probably going to tell me in the morning. But anyways, I'm going to do another video titled Inside the Mind of Harris or her ex-boyfriend or whatever because there's some things that I want to talk about that I'm not going to touch on in this video. But anyways, subscribe, notification bells on, that video will be coming soon. So yeah, for those of you who aren't caught up to speed, Illumination just dropped her her last video 2.5 and I think what she was saying on Twitter is this is the final video she was going to do a part 3 but she's just going to leave it at this at 2.5 and she wants to move forward which I think is awesome. I think that's great and like she gained a subscriber out of me. I want to check out some of her other videos. I haven't even checked out her other videos which I'll probably do this week but it seems like there's a lot we can learn from just her her experiences growing into the you know awesome young woman that she is. But anyways in this video she met up with a young woman by the name of Holly who was apparently Harris's quote unquote ex-girlfriend right and we learned a little bit more about this. So the first thing I want to talk about is Illumination and Holly meeting up and discussing these things like you guys I cannot stress enough to you. Some of the best therapy you will ever get is just finding someone who has been through your experience all right. This is why we have the discord server. This is why we have the Facebook group okay. These are other people who have been through trauma or depression or anxiety or addiction or ADHD and we have a community built so you can connect with other people like Illumination and Holly didn't feel so alone when they bonded over this experience right and this can be very very therapeutic. So always down in the description below there is a link to the Facebook group as well as the discord server. Just come in hang out talk to people if you're going through something you can message people all that stuff just find some support and I will also be linking all of the resources that Illumination links to. So if you are somebody who is currently in an abusive relationship or need help like make sure you check out those links down in the description. And then that's when he was like oh I'm sorry he would and then he just went on this like self pity just like just with that same like fake number like within that conversation yes the Dacin dash is right above it yeah and he was just like I'm sorry you caught me this is my true nature yeah he was like this is my true nature and like I remember reading some of your chat logs and he would just be like I'm just pathetic. All right so let's start unpacking this with this clip right here. So on Harris's end like this is something that I want all of you to watch out for if you know you're looking for red flags of being an abusive relationship or whatever is is when when somebody who's toxic or abusive is trying to have you accept them for who they are. I've gotten some comments recently like people don't like the way that I use the term broken people like we're all broken like literally every person on this planet is broken it's just like are you working on yourself to fix yourself that's that's the only question like there's no denying that everybody's broken in their own little special way but here's the thing like you do not have to accept that person the way they are okay and this is not saying that people should never be dated because I know a lot of you get offended by this and you say well well I deserve love too yeah you absolutely do but you need to make the choice to change but what they're talking about with Harris is they'll try to manipulate you and say hey this is just the way I am this is just the way I am and I made a video about Trisha Payness and Jason Nash not that long ago where I asked how have any of you been stuck in a relationship way too long waiting for the other person to change like don't do that like I I've been wanting to make a video just of my thoughts on individual therapy versus couples therapy so if you would like me to make that video make sure you let me know down in the comments but real quick spoiler alert I believe in individual therapy I believe individuals need to heal on their own but anyways if you have somebody that you're just starting to see or even if it's a friend or family member just say this is just the way I am like that's cool you can accept the way they are without keeping them in your life. I haven't talked about this at the time I had two really good high school friends I still keep in touch with one of them it was Emily and Sarah I cross-checked with Sarah because she had been through that and I'd be like you know she's a she's a good friend of mine she would know what is abuse and what isn't um but like I I'm sure she holds a lot of like oh god like why didn't I wasn't I more direct with Alyssa. That was really interesting how Illymation like said like she feels that her friend might even feel a little bit guilty you know because I have friends who feel like that with my addiction and I have friends who still hold guilt to this day and it's six and a half years since I got sober that they wish they could have done more they wish they could have done this and to be honest like that's one of the reasons I have this channel because most people are doing the best that they can with the knowledge that they have you know what I mean a lot of people don't know how to help so I hope you can go through my catalog and learn how to help somebody like I have a lot of people who subscribe to my channel who do not struggle with mental health issues but they know somebody with mental health issues and just gaining an understanding of what to do is helpful right but anyways if you're a friend of somebody like don't hang on to that guilt like I'm letting you know like at the end of the day especially since I work with drug addicts and alcoholics we have to make our own decisions you know what I mean and all we can do is hopefully inspire a change which is where this next clip comes in like I remember before I flew out before any before I met Harris in person we were sitting in the car we had just been like hanging out of her school Harris was blowing up my phone and she turned to me and I remember she was like you don't have to do anything you don't want to do by the way and I was like yeah I know she was like I don't think you know I would probably still be with Harris if it wasn't for them so what that is right there what that is right there is what we call an informal intervention okay so an informal intervention no matter what it is it could be drugs it could be alcohol it could be helping somebody get out of an abusive relationship it could be helping somebody just like doing something with their lives right you have no idea how powerful it is what Illimation's friend did where there were just what she was just basically saying like you know you don't have to deal with that right like you know you don't have to put up with that right like that is an informal intervention like sometimes just somebody planting in this planting the seed in your brain or in someone else's brain that you don't have to live the way that you're living anymore can just completely change because I made in another video I made about Illimation I talked about learned helplessness right we get stuck in this idea that we are living in the only possible way that we can live drug addicts and alcoholists deal with this a lot people in abusive relationships deal with this a lot people with depression anxiety they deal with this a lot the way our brain works it sticks us in the problem that's what I always say we need to talk about the solution because our brain says this is the way things are this is where I am I'm stuck nothing's gonna change like science has proven neuroplasticity which means our brains are constantly evolving and constantly changing this is why I will always tell you to your face that you are never ever ever hopeless I've seen in the comments down below people saying well I've been in this situation I've been in that situation I've heard some really sad stories that you've shared about friends that were in abusive relationships and all of that but you guys like if nothing else like please join the support group or call one of the numbers that are down in the description below but if you are somebody who knows somebody who is in an abusive relationship or struggling with mental illness just remember an informal intervention just offering the idea that they don't have to live that way anymore might completely change their life first of all I thought I was over it I thought I knew I thought I knew everything about him I thought I knew his intentions and I didn't it's really easy to take advantage of someone and what's not easy is confronting these emotions this is interesting to me and I just want to bring this up first before I talk about confronting your emotions like I wonder if it was beneficial to elimination you know what I mean to go back in there and learn more about this thing um and I don't think there's a right or wrong answer for this you know um sometimes it's just like for me I let stuff go like I I move forward and I'm like okay have I found my closure is this you know am I good with this but you a lot of that comes with being honest with yourself and I think during this process Illymation discovered that she wasn't fully healed from this situation so what she's talking about which I want to address is how she's talking about confronting your emotions confronting these things because a lot of people a lot of a lot of us me you everybody so many people are in this denial right I'm okay I'm fine nothing's wrong right it's just because you stuffed them so down underneath that you don't even realize they're still there but they're manifesting in little ways they're causing you issues at work they're causing you issues with your friends they're causing you issues with your family members right so this is why we need to confront those emotions which I think is beneficial for Illymation but the last thing I want to talk about is I'm kind of curious what else Illymation has done it seems like she's done a lot of things to heal but I've mentioned this in other videos like I thought that I healed a lot from my past but once I did a little bit more work on myself I realized that I still wasn't living to my my fullest potential so I have two recommendations for all of you watching this if you're somebody who's um overcoming trauma or just trying to move forward from the past the first one is this this book right here um it's called Untuck Your Brain by Dr. Faith Harper I did a review on this a long time ago I'll link it up in the info card so you can check it out but this book is amazing this book it's it's for everybody like if you struggle with anxiety you need this book but a lot of what this book is based on is overcoming trauma you'll learn a lot about how the brain works how trauma works but Dr. Faith Harper is hilarious too all right very short book very easy read I'm gonna link it down in the description below but that's something that you can do on your own now something that I've wondered throughout this entire series with elimination is has she gotten therapy has she gotten therapy yet right there's so much healing that we can do on our own but sometimes we need to work with a professional all right so if you are somebody trying to overcome your trauma and if you have the resources if you have the resources to get therapy please just give it a try like talk to your doctor see if they can refer you to a therapist talk to your insurance company see if they can refer you to a therapist somebody who specializes in trauma especially will be extremely beneficial if you are interested in doing online therapy better help online therapy help support this channel there's an affiliate link down in the description below and what you'll do is you just sign up you fill out a questionnaire and they'll link you up with a licensed therapist who specializes in whatever you need help with all right but just remember you do not have to live the way that you are living anymore again there are links down in the description for resources as well as the facebook and discord groups all right but anyways let me know let me know down in the comments below like if especially if you're somebody who's overcome your past traumas like what has helped you has connecting with others who have been through that experience have those helped you like let's have a conversation down below all right but anyways anyways that's all I got for you with this video if you like this video please give it a thumbs up if you're new make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell because remember I'm making a follow-up video really really soon all right and a huge thank you to everybody supporting the channel over on patreon you are all amazing and if you would like to help support what I'm doing here click the top on the patreon icon right there and you get a ton of exclusive content all right thanks so much for watching I'll see you next time