 I'm afraid I have some news for you all. What kind of news, Sarge? Bad news or good news? It's bad news. That's the worst kind. Bad news? No, that's great. What is it? What are you excited about? Well, bad news for Sarge is usually good news for us like... Bad news, fellas. We're out of ammo. We're out of ammo. No fighting today. Bad news, men. The chin up bar broke. Boo-hoo! Bad news, troops. Looks like those peace treaty talks are making progress. Canik, Riff. We've got a serious situation here. As you know, the holiday season is quickly approaching. It is? Of course. Which one? All of them. It's the end of the year. It is? Yes. How can you not know that? What do you mean? The sun never sets around here. Who even knows what day it is? You have a calendar and a clock on the heads-up display in your helmet. That thing just flashes twelve o'clock all the time. Why do you think I'm late to everything? You're an idiot. And I think you're just trying to avoid the subject that the sun never changes position. How come no one ever wants to talk about this? Look at it. It's not moving. Girl, these guys sure have a lot of staff meetings. Yeah. They're so lucky. Well, what are they talking about down there? Sounds like they're making plans for the holidays. And one of them keeps staring at the sun for some reason. All bad. That is the best. I love doing that. They're making holiday plans? Yeah. We haven't really talked about what we're doing yet either. We make some plans? Like a party? Yeah. Secret Santa kind of thing? Let's just all agree not to get each other anything. Yeah, I'm cool with that. Now, Command has informed me that there's going to be some mandatory holiday leave for our base. Vacation? See, I told you. His version of bad news is never bad news for us. Not only on vacation. What vacation days? When the guy's upstairs aboard him. Oh, right. According to Red Army policy, we get a few days of leave every six months. If we don't use them, they start to stockpile. How many do you have? Seven. It's a straight vacation. How long have you been in the army? The same, but I'll use them and make the other sergeants look bad. So I guess I have to take a couple days off next week. A couple? Yeah, that'll put a dent. I think that's a great idea. We should all take a vacation. To qualify for vacation, you have to work full-time. That means 40 hours. I've worked 40 hours per week. What? If you already used all your vacation time for personal days. Well, what about me, sir? I haven't taken any days off. When one of us is getting his perfect attendance medal, we'll see who's laughing then. Yeah, we will. Sorry, Simmons. Footland trip all into one big pool. So if you used all yours already, you operate more as a cohesive unit. Promote solidarity among the soldiers. And yet, it doesn't seem to be working, sir. Noted. So, I'm off to the sunny beaches of Zanzibar. I got one piece of good news. This ain't good news. Peter means no heat. No heat means no life. We're gonna freeze to death. Great. We have fuel, but no igniter, so we can't start it. Command thought this base might be more festive. I guess our funerals might be a nice family get together. Hopefully take pictures. I've been thinking about that. Since this is the holidays, command would have to let us off for religious purposes, right? I mean, if it came up. Yeah? What does that make sense? Why, do you have a religious holiday coming up? Yeah. I didn't know that. What religion are you? Well, that's the thing. See, I looked it up to see which religion would give me the most days off. I don't think that's how you're supposed to determine your primary philosophical view of the universe. And I saw that a lot of religions do have holidays in December, but there isn't one that has more coverage than the others. Coverage? So, I joined all of them. Joined all of what? All religions. Joined every religion. Yeah. I feel that A, since a great message of tolerance and inclusion during this holiday season, and B, it means I get to take off all of December. Also, most of next year and all the years after. You can't join every single religion, Griff. Says who? Says the religions. It's against their rules. Well, see, that's the thing. The army doesn't ask that I'm good at my religion. It just asks that I pick one. And I did pick one. I picked all. Griff? That is offensive on both a spiritual and an administrative level. Hey, that statement sounded a little intolerant to me. Just help me get this panel off. I need to check the heating coils. Can't. Day of rest. What? Today's one of my days of rest. Turns out I now have six days of rest a week. Very convenient. Only six? Yeah. No one covers Monday. Apparently, it sucks universally. Well, today is Monday, so help me lift this panel. It is? No, it's not. What does the calendar in your helmet say? Damn it. I hate Mondays. Hey, Reds, are you over here? Oh, no, it's the blues. How did they get here? We got here because of you morons. Our command transferred us here because you guys got transferred. And now we're all freezing. Thanks. Sorry, Simmons. Organized combat is against 87% of my belief systems. Griff! We can hear you in there. You know, often the journey to enlightenment is a treacherous path, fraught with hardship. Hey, you're not helping. We're stuck here because of you idiot. And we're probably going to freeze to death. Yeah, well, that's two. Wait, your heat doesn't work also? I mean, either? I mean, does yours work? Well, we don't have any food or any heat. We heard that. Damn it. Excuse me, Sergeant. But I have an urgent phone call for you. Phone call? Me? It's quite a bit of panic. They just blow up our warthog. No, wait. Get to the phone. Let me do the talking. Man, that burning jeep looks really warm. Why are you during your vacation? Don't worry about it. We're just to a base with no heat, and the blues are attacking us because they are getting more vacation days. Both of you above checkbox in the enlistment form. Too late. We've been capable of helping in any way whatsoever during battle. And how is that different from any other day? That's a good point, sir. That's why command sent you there. Holiday spirit! He's outside the gates of Lubeb facility. You detonate that baby with a 30- It's a classic holiday tale. I think you're getting your stories mixed up. I was thinking of a more peaceful solution. Peaceful? I don't know why. Yeah, there's not even a pee in Surrender. Can't hear a mo-contest starting at 0900. See you guys when I get back- I guess we're on our own. Do you want me to try to convert them to my religions? No. Let's try something smarter for once. Listen, guys. I know fighting is what we do, but I was thinking it's the holidays. Coming together in the spirit of brotherhood and good- This is what can happen when we agree to work together. Nobody dies. Just do us a favor and don't tell our sergeant about this when he gets back. That guy's pretty nuts. Yeah. We've had some pretty crazy dives fighting you guys over the years. Yeah. Remember the time Sergeant got possessed by that crazy AI? Ho-ho, or what about the time I got him pregnant by that alien? Ouch. Ha-ha. Alien baby. Hey, remember when your sister crashed that ship on Donut's head? Sometimes I hate trouble talking to girls. Y'all got beat up by that really mean girl. Yeah, where did you guys find her? I was never very close to my dad. Okay, seriously, Caboose. You don't have to talk. It's not required. Oh, good. That's good. Happy holidays, buddy. You too. So then she said, I poisoned the turkey. You know what's great? Spending time with friends and family around the holidays. You know what else is great? These looks you can get at store.roosterteeth.com. Happy holidays.